Black-ish (2014–…): Season 8, Episode 11 - The (Almost) Last Dance - full transcript

[ "Move on up" by curtis
mayfield playing ]

Dre: The american dream
says that, with hard work,

where you started doesn't
have to be where you finish.

Generations build on the success

of the ones that came before.

The goal is to make a better,

more prosperous future
for your children.

It's what my folks did for me.

[ Ting ]

My pops worked odd jobs,

but he made sure the
lights were always on.



And my mother worked
overtime at the post office

to make sure that I could
get the best education.

There were some bumps,
but they did their part

to make sure I had it
better than they did.

And I know that everything
I have is because of them.

It's why I'm so glad to
have them under our roof.

Oh, my god.

What did I just bite into?

That's, uh, vegan
buttermilk chicken.

Hell to the no.

Earl, step in and
give them the news

before I start yelling.

Okay, y'all. Listen up.

Rainbow: Okay.



Ruby and I... Mm-hmm.

Are moving out.

Hallelujah!

Captions by vitac...

Brought to you by:
Ford, built ford proud

it's never gonna be
the same without you.

We got love for y'all.

Y'all know that. Yes.

But the open road is calling.

Mm-hmm.

So it's time for us to
get on the good foot...

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm... And on
to our next adventure.

[ Chuckles ] that's
why we bought an rv.

I bet you $100 that rv's on fire

by the side of the
road in 10 weeks.

Nah, wedged in a bible belt
hardee's drive-thru by June.

[ Sucks teeth ] oh, I
could see that, too.

Mm-hmm. Wow! [ Laughs ]

You guys in an rv?
It is so exciting.

You know, when my
parents were in their rv,

I did not hear from
them for, like, months.

Like, almost a yea... I did...

T-they didn't call me.
I didn't call them.

They were just off the grid.

Yeah, like, what do you
guys even have planned?

Well, we're gonna
visit the 38 states

we don't have bench
warrants in. Mm-hmm.

Maybe even put the
rv on a riverboat.

Rainbow: Ooh. Mm-hmm.

And then take it
down the mississipp'.

Mm-hmm. And I've always
wanted to head up to motown

to see the parking lot

where the holland brothers
pulled a gun on smokey robinson.

Wow. Heard about that.
Heard about that. Sure did.

Point is, we've got

years of seeing this
country ahead of us.

Nowhere to be and no
time to be there. Hey!

Well, I am happy for you guys.

You may have not noticed it

because my muscle gains
haven't started to come in yet,

but I'm on a bit of a
personal journey myself.

Oh, because your
girlfriend dumped you? Ah.

No, because I realized
that my body is a machine

and to keep it up to
par, I have to make sure

that I'm about that gym life.

Okay, look, I-I know you
guys really want to do this,

but I got used to
you being here.

You know, it's...

It's not gonna be the same.

[ Sighs ] never.

It's never, never, never
gonna be the same again.

Like, never.

So, you guys have, um...
Do you have a plan?

Like, is there a
specific date... Or time?

Well, yeah, but not until
we get our ducks in a row.

It won't take
long. Rainbow: Yes.

We got matching
julep cups. Shut up.

So we are not missing
the kentucky derby.

[ laughs ]

Enough spilling
our secrets, earl.

Alright.

That's one thing I won't miss.

This whole house of people
knowing our business.

Then why do you shave
your legs by the pool?

Hey.

Since I been doing that,

our gardeners have
been paying us.

Oh. Now...

How about we throw
out all this slop,

and I'll make you some real
chicken and biscuits, eh?

Mm. Eh?

Oh, well, if that's
okay with you, rainbow.

[ Cork pops ]

Oh, that's just fine.
Got my dinner right here.

After bow had celebrated
the gods opening a window,

she found they were
also shutting a door.

What the...?

Oh, my god. Okay.

Bow, what's going
on? I'm soaking wet.

What? Oh, my god. No.

I'm soaking wet.

Babe, be honest.

What?

Did you pee the bed?
You can tell me.

No, dre, I did not.

I think these are night sweats.

Okay.

I believe that I'm going
through perimenopause.

I am perimenopausing.

I always want to help my wife,

but I'm a smart enough man to
know when I'm in over my head

and it's time to call
in reinforcements.

[ Horn blows ]

Mom!

My daughter, the
winds whispered to me

about an important milestone
on your menses journey.

Oh. And I texted you.

Yes, always nice to get
a midnight text saying,

"your daughter's
body's breaking down."

[ Stammers ] well,
come on in, alicia.

Yeah. Come on in.
And give us two secs.

I just want to talk to...
Talk to dre for a second.

Uh-huh. Come here, honey.

Yeah? [ Clears throat ]

So you willingly invited
my mom into our house?

Well, look, babe, I-I
thought it would be good

to have someone with
experience around

to help with the
perimenopause. Mm-hmm.

Which is the beginning
of menopause, alright?

During which time your ovaries
are producing less estrogen.

I know what
perimenopause is, dre.

Okay, well, you know, I just
wanted to show you my work, okay?

Before I handed you
off to your mom.

And now that I've
gotten my credit,

I'm done. Okay.

Bye. Bye. Hi, mom.

Alicia: Okay. Hi, hi, hi.

[ Chuckles ]

You really did not need to come.

You're going through one of
the great transitions of life.

You've been driven by
the moon for decades.

Now the time has come for you
to become your own moon driver.

Mom, it is a hormonal shift,
and I've got it all handled.

Promise. Okay, I'll
follow your lead.

But I may sprinkle
a little maca powder

on your tongue while you sleep.

Okay. Mm.

I don't think
that'll do anything,

but you can sprinkle.

No, mama, my house is
not a storage unit.

Okay. Goodbye, mama.

Okay, dre. What's
happening? What's going on?

Oh, don't tell me.

They discontinued
your beard sheen.

No. Oh.

My moms and pops are moving out.

What? [ Gasps ]

Are they looking for an
unlicensed moving company?

I know a guy. [ Chuckles ]

Me. Charlie telphy.

No, charlie, I
think they're good.

They bought an rv,

and they are going
out to see america.

Wow. That's exciting, dre.

They're cashing in on the dreams

that they delayed while
they... they served others.

That is the proper middle-class
third-act retirement move.

You know, I've been planning
my next act since I was 12.

When I retire, I want to
open a b&b on the east coast.

Mm-hmm. I'll cook. I'll host.

It'll be like having a
new family every weekend.

Ironic, because a revolving
door of new families

is my plan, too.

In my retirement, I plan
on telling white people

I played for a negro league.

Tell them my name is something
like "corn cob robinson"

to see if they'd buy me a drink.

That's your plan?

Yeah, you're right.
Stove pipe jackson.

Better name, right? That's...

I've never really
thought about retirement,

but I'm pretty sure
I'd be good at it. Hmm.

Shuffleboard, cruises, golfing,

following wu-tang
around the world

until there are no
original members left.

Now, that is dre time.

Okay, dre, I'm sorry.

I find it hilarious
that you actually think

you're going to retire.

You have an infant, man.

So? Josh: [ chuckles ] "so?"

You're not about to
stop working, dre.

You've got two decades

of private school, braces,
and college to pay for.

Then dre time?

Maybe. Assuming
they're successful

and they can take
care of themselves.

Dre, you've got five kids, okay?

One of them is gonna be a tito.

Charlie: This is a
good time to mention

that if me and my bride
have any "oops" babies,

you will be raising them. What?

You better settle in,
buddy, because, uh,

whether it's natural
causes or foul play,

you are gonna die here.

[ laughs ] yeah.

Those guys were just
trying to get in my head.

I'm good. I've saved money...

I think.

S-still, I've got
this under control.

They can't tell me nothing.

Excuse me.

I think you're
sitting in my seat.

I gotta stay on my grind.

Jack needs money
for ninja college.

[ Screaming ]

[ Screams ]

Oh.

Ohh. Ahh.

Still sweaty.

♪♪

[ groans ]

♪♪

♪♪

Hey, baby. You
want some pancakes?

Well, not unless it's gonna
make me feel any better

about the fact that I'm
gonna die at my desk.

That's actually not a
bad place to go, son.

The janitor just wheels
you out. No muss, no fuss.

Yeah. Alright, well, you
guys have a good one.

[ Indistinct conversation ]

Hey, hey. Who wants breakfast?

Grandma, are you okay?

What? I'm just
cooking breakfast.

Now, listen. I ran
out of blueberries,

so some of those
pancakes have raisins,

and some have gummy vitamins.

Oh.

I tell you what,
I'm not gonna miss

doing all this
work when I'm gone.

When did you ever do
this before? Yeah.

See, earl? They
don't appreciate me.

Y'all better
appreciate this woman.

We gonna be having
pancakes on the road

pretty soon anyway, baby.

No pancakes for me.

My trainer, uric, will kill me

if he smells grain on my breath.

Gotta keep it keto for the guns.

Look at this one, all greedy.

Enjoy that last plate
of grandma bacon.

This is why I'm
never coming back.

Whoa, just because you move

doesn't mean you
gotta stay gone.

Yeah, you saw junior
when he moved out.

I mean, he kept a toothbrush
in all three bathrooms.

Mm. Every time you
take a sip of soda,

you're only nine minutes
away from a cavity.

Remember that.

I'm sorry, baby, but our
time living here is done.

I'm trying to see miami
before it's underwater.

Oh, yeah. [ Scoffs ]

You don't want to be in town
after the gators take over.

Oh, no.

The thought of staying in
the rat race until I die

took a lot of joy out of
coming into the office.

Hey! Oh, dre!

You work upstairs. What
are you doing down here?

Oh, I know.

Too shy to poop around
your new friends?

Yeah. What? No.

Oh. Hey, when you
guys look ahead

and see, uh, an endless
loop of sitting in traffic

and pitching ads and
sucking up to clients

until one day, they
lower you in the earth,

do you ever think, "is
this all there is?"

What? Are you kidding?

I love work.

We've got dream jobs, dre.

Yeah, advertising is the
best job in the world,

and I've had a lot of them. Mm.

Ditch-digger. Clam-digger.

Amateur russian rouletter...

Which, of course,
leads to grave-digging,

which leads to grave robbery,

which led to me finding a wallet

with leslie stevens'
business card inside of it,

and then here I
am in advertising.

Dre, this is an amazing job.

All you got to do is show up,
sit in comfortable chairs,

and come up with ideas.
Josh: That's right.

Do you have any
idea how much blood

my housekeeper has to clean up?

Oh, one summer, I
cleaned up a lot of blood

on the vineyard.

Second-best job I ever had.

This is the first.

Right, right. Yeah, yeah.

You guys are right.

We have the best
jobs in the world.

Who needs to sit and
feed pigeons in a park?

Exactly. Do you know what?

We are living the dream, and
I'm not slowing down now.

- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.

I'm gonna continue to boss up.

Thanks, fellas. Yeah! Yeah!

That's the attitude, dre.

[ Chuckles ] I'm
telling you guys,

this is the greatest
gig in the world.

Absolutely. Isn't it, though?

But you're still gonna call me

if your housekeeper
calls in sick, right?

♪♪

[ beeping ]

Every day, more and more,

we become like the
robots that we fear.

Oh, no. I'm just monitoring
my heart rate, mom.

I'm trying to understand
what's going on with my body.

A friend of mine told me

that I might experience
heart palpitations.

Oh, rainbow, I'm so sorry.

Would it help if I walked around
you in a circle three times

and sang a hymn to gaia?

No. No, I don't think so.

Ah.

I'm just so frustrated.

There's no information, mom.

There's more information
about deep-sea sharks

than there is about
perimenopause.

50% of the population
goes through this,

and there's no information.

Ridiculous. Perhaps
the problem is

that you're looking for
information out there

when you should be looking
for information there.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

'Cause my body... Yes,
yes, yes, yes, yes.

My body just feels like
a foreign place, and I...

Oh, god.

Oh, god. H-heart palpations?

I'm getting hot.
I'll get the bells.

No, no, I don't want bells, mom.

I need to get out of the jacket.

Oh, god! Here it comes!

Oh, my god, it's like a summer.

Oh!

Oh, take it off!
Take it off! Take it!

While bow was trying
to turn down the heat,

my whole perspective
had changed.

I was crushing it at work.

Old steed whiskey.

Why show when you can win?

[ Applause ]

[ laughing ] hey,
there he is. Hey.

Wow, that was amazing. Mm-hmm.

They want us for print and tv.

You were on a whole
other level in there.

Where's that guy been?

Aw, hey, man. I'm just
blessed to be here.

And if this is what I'm meant
to do for the next 20 years,

I'm okay with it.
Hell, make it 30 years.

40 years! [ Laughs ]

50 years! I'm okay with it.

I'm okay with it.

I'm okay with it.

We get it. You're okay with it.

Yeah.

I'm okay with it.

♪♪

I'm okay with it.

I'm okay with it.

♪♪

I'm okay with it.

♪♪

I'm okay with it.

♪♪

♪♪

Dre. Dre. Come on. Come on.

Oh, sorry, pops. What's up?

I said, "is it cool if we take
your fancy monogrammed luggage

for our trip?"

I want everybody to know that

we are rv people by choice.

Yeah, yeah. It's cool.
Do what you gotta do.

For real?

What about your nice winter
coat with the fur lining?

Take it.

I'm not going anywhere.

Boy, you wouldn't
give water to a whale.

I'm a little mistrustful

of all this generosity
you making with.

Now, what's wrong with you, dre?

I don't know, pops. I'm
just having a hard time.

Where I am in life,
it's hard to pivot.

Alright?

Every decision feels
more permanent,

and I'm heading to
place where I have

more good days behind
me than ahead of me.

So do I keep doing
mayonnaise ads

until I have one
foot in the grave?

I don't think so.

Oh, man.

See, we all been
there. I get it.

Yeah, pops?

Oh, yeah.

Now, you want my advice?

I do.

Suck it up.

What?

You a man. You got
responsibilities.

You got to keep a
roof over your head

and put food on the table.

You don't have time to be
mooning around the house,

lending out luggage to people
who are not gonna return it.

I get that, pops. I just
feel lost right now.

Oh, congratulations, dre.

You're the first black
man to ever feel lost.

Need to get your ass out
there and play through.

Understood?

Yes, sir. Good.

Also...

I'm taking all
your frozen steaks

and your good cooler,

'cause that's the
least you can give me

for all this good advice.

♪♪

Oh, my god.

♪♪

What the hell are you doing?

This sweating is
killing me, ruby!

[ Sighs ]

I'm trying to manage
this perimenopause.

I'm so over it. I'm over it-uh.

You know what?

If you repeat a word I'm
about to say, I'll deny it.

Okay. You hear me?

Yeah.

[ Whispering ] I've
gone through menopause.

Yeah, I-I-I know. Mm-hmm.

Well, menopause sucks. Yes.

Your body spends decades
growing and taking care of life,

and then mother
nature thanks you

with hot flashes
and mood swings.

Oh, let me tell you
something, ruby.

I ran for three miles after
an ice cream truck today,

and then I punched a
dent into the side of it

because they told me that they
didn't have any more tutti frutti.

[ laughs ]

It was not one of
my finest moments.

Oh, honey. That's nothing.

One time I had a hot
flash sitting there,

waiting to get a bank loan. Hmm.

I started tearing my clothes
off like a vegas showgirl.

[ Both laugh ] oh, god.

Hey, but it's not all bad. Mm.

Because now, all of
this is yours again.

Think, when was the last time

your breasts belonged
to you and you alone?

Ooh, it's been a minute.

Mm-hmm. Yep.

And you can finally
ask yourself,

"what does rainbow
johnson want to do?"

Huh. It's your time now.

Oh, I really like
the sound of that.

It's my time.

You know, rainbow, I
made a conscious decision

to spend my time here watching
my grandbabies grow up.

And it's been the best
seven years of my life.

Mm.

Thank you for blessing
me with that opportunity.

[ Sniffles ] oh,
ruby, of course.

Of course. Hmm.

Thank you for what
you just said. Mm.

It was really helpful.

And thank you for always
being here for us.

But I am gonna
miss you, rainbow.

I'm gonna miss all of you.

Aww, ruby.

[ Hums ] [ crying ]

I'm gonna miss you, too.

It's okay if the idea of
change makes you a little sad,

but there are good things
that can come from it.

Hey, hey, hey.

I got you a little
going-away something.

Mm. Okay.

Uh... Mittens.

Homemade mittens.

I stayed up all
night making these

because I wanted to make sure

you have something
to remember me by.

Yeah, totally. These
will be great reminders

of how salty you've
been to us all week.

Yeah. Alright, alright.

I admit,

I haven't been my normal
cheery self lately,

but it was just a defense

because I realized how
much I'm gonna miss you.

I'm gonna miss
diane's smart mouth.

I'm gonna miss
jack's smart nothing.

Is this more pushing us away?

I'm even gonna miss
junior getting angry

when I ask him to
print out my e-mails.

It defeats the purpose
of electronic mail.

[ Both chuckling ]

Well, if you're gonna
miss all those things,

you don't have to go.

We do, baby.

It's time for your
grandfather and I

to start our new chapter.

Now, that doesn't
mean we haven't loved

our life here, okay?

I-I can't even remember a time

when you didn't live with us.

[ Sighs ] hey.

Watching you all grow up

has been the greatest
joy of my life.

♪♪

I wouldn't trade a
single second of it.

Us, either.

♪♪

Come here. Come on.

Come here. Come to grandma.

♪♪

[ chuckles ] come here.

Aww! Yes! [ Laughs ]

Okay, okay. Hold on, now.

I got something for you, too.

Oh, earl.

Junior. Thank you.

There you go, diane.

Okay.

20 bucks?

Well, I didn't plan this, but
your grandma's being so nice,

I couldn't just stand
there like a jerk.

[ Chuckles ] oh, whoa, whoa.

Mine's only a 10.

Let me see that. Yeah.

Yep. Now it's nothing.

What? See, I'm not
gonna miss this.

That's on you.

That's what you get. Mm.

Maybe my change
wasn't going to be

as dramatic as
bow's or my folks',

and maybe pops was right
about what I had to do...

Keep my head down
and gut it out.

Hey.

I'm not feeling so great. I'm
gonna need to take the day.

Thanks.

The only problem was,
I couldn't do it.

Jack, I feel terrible
that I was here to mark

diane's transition
into womanhood,

but I wasn't able to do the same

when you hit puberty.

You know, I can honestly say
that I didn't think about it.

You weren't here to
mark mine, either.

Yes, but you became quite
the man on your own.

[ Exhales ]

[ Grunts ]

She noticed the gains.

Now let us mark the transition.

Jack...

Are you ready to step through
the door of childish things

and claim the fullness
of your adulthood?

Uh, sure. Let me blow the horn.

You know, I started
running a bath

I don't know how long ago, so...

Oh, no, young man.

The path to adulthood
is marked with blood.

♪♪

You know what? I...
I can definitely hear

that tub overflowing right now.

Um...

♪♪

Give me the knife. I'll
get you that blood.