Black-ish (2014–…): Season 7, Episode 9 - black-out - full transcript

Los Angeles is
a beautiful place to live.

We don't need a vacation
to go to the beach,

and it almost never rains.

Unfortunately, the Johnsons
live in the Valley.

So when it gets hot out here...

- Ugh!
- ...it really gets hot.

Oh, God!

I didn't think I was gonna
make it home from the jog.

It was so hot,
I had to drink hose water.

I told you not to go out there.

Baby, we are not outside people.



Then why did we put in a pool?

- I like to stunt.
- Okay. Whatever.

Listen, I got to cool off.

Alright. Well, luckily,

I have a cool indoor activity
planned for the family.

Johnson Family on Ice.

Please say Johnson Family on Ice.

Yes, Johnson Family on Ice,

where we kick up the A/C
to beat the heat

- and have an Ice Cube movie marathon.
- Whoo!

I'm finally old enough to watch
the whole "Friday" trilogy.

I know it's Friday
and he ain't got no job,

but what happens next?

Well, son, you're in for a treat.



Plus, I have a surprise
for this very special occasion.

Oh, my God! Is Ice Cube here?!

Ohh.

Yay-yay!

Old-timey popcorn machine?!

This is why I defend you when
people say you are a bad father.

Ahh!

Let the hot, buttery fun begin!

Trois, deux...

Oh, God.

- Oh, no.
- Oh.

I think the A/C is out.

- No.
- What?

It's supposed to be 110 degrees today.

Uh, is it gonna be okay?
I feel like it's not gonna be okay.

- It's gonna be...
- No! N-N-N-N-N-N-No!

Nobody panic. We have
a ton of fans in the garage.

Okay, Bow, those fans need electricity.

What kind of doctor are you?

I'm sorry. I'm just so hot!

Is there anyone else
having trouble breathing?

- No.
- Oh, God. You know what?

I think we should alternate

so that we don't use up all the oxygen.

As I watched my family fall apart,

I realized today was not a good day.

Yay-yayyyy.

Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com

All the white people's power is out,
too, so it's not just us.

Mama, I paid my bill.

Baby, listen. I just said
what everybody's thinking.

You didn't need to run
all up and down the street, Dre.

The neighbors are already
talking about it on Nextdoor.

Okay. What are they saying?

Well, one person says
that it's gonna be out all week.

Now they're saying it's just
a rolling blackout.

And then... Oh, look at that.

Janine has hijacked the thread.

She's saying the fireworks
are scaring her punk-ass dog.

Okay. You know what?

There's no guarantee
that it's coming back soon.

This could be the beginning
of a "Mad Max" situation.

A what?

I've got to get to the store

and buy all the pasta before
some idiot starts a panic buy.

- No!
- Well, listen, make sure you get some Lysol,

- any kind of flat meat...
- Mm-hmm.

...and fill your trunk up
with those dried beans.

- Take the spare tire out if you have to.
- Yes, Mama.

- Listen.
- Mm.

You're making too big of a deal of this.

You tell that to the dinosaurs.

I'm going to clean my gun.

Okay, you are overreacting!

The power's only been out
for five minutes.

Okay. You know what, baby?

The way this year's gone,

with the fires, the earthquakes,
and the pandemic,

there is no such thing
as an overreaction anymore.

Really? Dre, we haven't been
able to park in the garage

since the spring.

Will you just admit
that you bought too much?

No.

I didn't buy enough.

I can't put my feet up.

Mm-hmm.

Bow, it is my job

to make sure
that the Johnsons are prepared.

Dre, it is just
a little power outage, okay?

If we run out of anything,

we'll just borrow it
from someone on the block.

So you want to rely on strangers?

- They're not strangers!
- What?

They're our neighbors!

And, anyway, everybody's already

looking out for each other on the app.

- Mm-hmm.
- And it's...

- Ooh.
- What is it?

Well, there's a, um... possible looter.

- What?
- Yeah.

It says he's wearing a...

loud polo shirt...

Hey...

...navy shorts, and a... giant necklace.

See? It's every man for himself.

Like I want to steal
some of their garbage.

What are you guys doing?

Pssh! Nothing.

Nothing at all. Yeah.

We're gonna have to grab
his PlayStation later.

- Yeah.
- Okay.

Were you guys trying to
loot my room while I'm in here?

- No!
- No!

We were just gonna check up on you.

- Mm-hmm.
- Hmm.

Fine. It's hotter
than a tram at the zoo,

so we were sure
that you fainted up here.

Well, since you're here,

you can help me find
my portable charger.

My phone is dead,
and I need to call Olivia.

Your phone is always dead.

Seriously, dude, you have to
learn how to charge your phone.

I know.

Olivia is always saying

I'm gonna regret not having it
charged in an emergency.

I cannot let her be right.

But she is right.

Only if she knows she's right.

You sound like Dad.

Hurtful.

Okay, guys, this is not a drill.

We've gone from Johnsons on Ice

to "Survivor: Johnsons Island," alright?

We've got to get to the store
because sometimes,

they limit the items
per customer in a crisis.

This is how we triple up.

Let's go. Come on! Come on!

Hey! Not you, alright?

We need room in the car for groceries.

Fine!

Good luck getting stuff
off the high shelves!

If there's one thing you can
count on during a crisis,

it's that people are gonna act stupid.

Okay, you know what?
I'm glad I grabbed you two,

because these shelves are gonna
be stripped bare real soon.

Yeah, because of us.

We don't need all this bread.

What?! Bread is the duct tape of food!

Breakfast, you have toast.

Lunch, a sandwich.

Dinner, croutons.

Dessert, bread pudding.

That's a whole day in one loaf.

What? You don't know my situation.

Look at all these kids.

Alright? And this is
not even my whole family.

Look, we go through
three chickens at every meal,

so don't worry about
how many bagels we need.

You're the only one who eats bagels.

You don't need to be
talking about our business

in front of people.

I'm just sayin'...

Eyes on your own cart, Karen.

See? Your mama?

She wants to depend
on judgmental people like her.

But my motto is, if you stay ready,

you don't have to get ready.

But you weren't ready.

You know what?

You don't get dinner tonight.

- What?!
- More toast for me.

What? I...

You see? This is why
we had to jump into action.

Blackout is starting to spread.

I'm sorry, ma'am.
The card reader is down.

But we can take cash.

I don't have any on me.

Oh. Well, looky here.

You were so busy minding my business

that you forgot to lock yours up.

Me?

I always carry cash.

In fact...

I will be paying for her groceries.

Thank you!

For myself.

And you said I wasn't ready.

Ooh! That's it.

Oh, my God!

- Mm.
- This is insane!

Dre, why aren't you putting
this stuff in the kitchen?

- No room.
- Oh, m...

Yeah, I got us supplies
to last us five days.

You're welcome.

You got steaks?

I'm not gonna let a blackout
rob me of my lifestyle.

Dre, do you know the story
of the farmer and the river?

- You know I don't, Bow.
- Okay.

Well, there was a drought, Dre,

but the farmer lived by a river,

so he was fine with his crops

and he was safe and he could eat.

But when the drought ended,
he walked down into the town,

and he discovered

that everyone else had died of hunger.

So the River Man became
the mayor of his own town,

and the idiots died.

Natural selection, Bow.

So you're telling me
that you would prefer to live

in a society that has no community

so you can get yours.

Okay, the key word is "live," Bow.

It's not my job
to look out for the community.

It's my job to look out for me and mine.

- Who are you?
- If it were up to you,

we would probably live
with our doors unlocked

and you would have
all of our money outside.

- Why would I put money outside?
- I am a wartime general, Bow.

- Wartime?
- Yes, warti...

On the floor, Bow!

Down! Down! Incoming!

Okay, you are embarrassing yourself.

- Oh, hi, friend!
- Hi!

I hate to ask this,
but do you have any extra TP?

The stores are all out.

- Actu...
- Uh, we do not.

Uh... actually...

we do.

I will leave you, Bow.

Excuse me. Do you mind if we just...

I'm... Just give us one second.

What are you doing?

Dre, we have enough toilet paper.

We can give it to her. Okay?

We have an obligation to provide it.

She has a front yard
full of leaves, Bow.

She'll be fine.

And what about her children?

- It's not my fault she's a bad mother.
- Dre...

Maybe you ought to move
a little farther into the house

- to have this conversation.
- Sorry about that.

- That hurt when he...
- You hear... Yeah. Okay.

- You were supposed to hear it.
- Okay.

She is asking for something
that we can provide.

We can help...

so we are gonna help.

Here you go.

Oh. Thank you so much.

You are literally saving my life...

and my good napkins.

I am so sorry about my husband.

He does not seem to understand

that when you live in a neighborhood...

- Yeah.
- ...it's about helping each other.

You know what? I've got a generator.

You want to come over and cool off?

- Yes!
- You. You.

Yes, of course.
Of course, of course, of course.

I would love to.
And I will be right over.

I'm gonna go chill some toothpicks.

- Alright, great!
- Oh, my God. Toothpicks?

I hope you like sausage.

And there it was.

In our moment of crisis,

Bow had chosen a stranger
over her own family.

River Man would have never
survived had he had a wife!

While I was providing for my family,

Bow was putting everyone
and their mamas before us.

I always knew that one day,
you would betray me.

Of course, I thought
it would be with Prince,

- at an after show.
- Oh, my God. Alright.

You know, really,
after all, it is Prince.

I wouldn't be able to blame you.

But never in my wildest dreams
did I see this coming.

Are you done?

- I'm never done.
- Wow.

And now you're taking her wine?

- Yes.
- Why don't you give her one of the kids?

I mean, we have a surplus of those, too.

You're starting something
you can't stop.

Dre, you don't think that the pandemic

has made people realize
that we're all in this together?

I did something for Janine,

and now she's opening up
her house to us.

But no!

You would rather die in this heat

than admit that
your glorious wife is right.

My people are from Africa, Bow.

I ain't scared of a little heat.

Well, I am.

Yeah, you would be.

Plus, Janine has power,
and I need to charge my phone.

Well, I'm sure that she will let you,

because you are
a part of this community.

Come on, guys. Let's go get in some A/C.

No. You can take Junior.

He can go over there
and dip his celery in mayonnaise

- with Janine, but...
- What?

...my two real kids?

They're gonna stay here with me.

- Right, kids?
- Huddle.

We're staying at the Johnson house.

But mostly for the doomsday steaks.

Okay, that's fine.

But if you change your mind,

just know that everyone is welcome.

Well...

not everyone.

Come on, Junior. Let's go.

Deuces.

Let's go fire up this grill.

Alright!

As payment for your loyalty,

you two get first choice
when those come off the grill.

Not gonna lie... so far,
you're winning this battle.

Thank you, Jack.

And I like how you turned survival

into a fun family competition.

Baby girl, life is a competition.

That's why we always have to
be there for each other.

And I'm prepared enough for all of us.

- Amen.
- Mm-hmm.

That's why I always carry cash on me

and I never let my gas dip
below a quarter of a tank.

I never want to let you guys down.

Mm.

Let's get this started right here.

Uh, you know, sometimes,
you got to hit both of them.

Wait a minute.

Uh, do you have a different
gas tank rule for propane?

Uh, maybe it just ran out.

That's okay. Let's just go buy some.

If I'm being honest,

I may have, uh,
jeopardized our cash reserves

while trying to teach that lady
a lesson at the store.

But you know what?

You guys can put those steaks on ice,

and I will come back
with some propane, okay?

Just give me an hour, and I will
have that grill up and running.

It's cool. Let me know how that goes.

I'll be at Janine's.

- What?
- Yep. I'm out.

You really think that this steak

is worth the pit stains
in this fresh tee?

Pssh!

But I thought you believed in me, son.

Mm... I think I believed in
the idea of you.

If you think that I can't eat

11 pounds of bone-in rib-eye steak,

you're just as crazy as your mother!

Ha!

Ahh!

Ahhhhhh!

I cannot tell you
how wonderful it feels in here.

Mm!

Yeah, I like to keep it at 66,

so if you get a little chilly,
there's electric blankets.

Oh! It is so nice that my kids
get to see what it...

what it feels like

when community actually comes together.

I love that we are
looking out for each other.

Which... leads me to this.

Don't you wish you knew a way

to make a little extra cash
in your spare time?

What?

Allow me to take you
on a trip into the future.

Unh! Please tell me this is
the start of a magic trick.

It's no trick.

It's your ticket...

to financial freedom

and the glorious world of GloGenics!

The Ponzi scheme?

Oh! Mnh-mnh-mnh. The lifestyle brand.

Gosh, I've been wanting to get
you on the team for a while now.

I pretty much tapped out my community,

but I thought you could tap into
a new market at your...

What? Like, uh, your church or your...

- Oh, wow.
- ...salon...

or with your sister girls.

You know, a market
that I don't have access to.

Uh-huh.

I can't believe this is happening.

Believe it.

Okay, let's take a look

at how GloGenics can unlock
your full economic potential.

Alright, alright, alright!

I got my gun and my road wine.

Reminds me of when
we went to buy diapers

after the Raiders' championship in '83.

- Okay, Mama?
- Mm?

If you got a concealed weapons permit,

you're not allowed to drink.

Who said I got a permit?

Is everything alright over there?

Yeah, man. Hey, we good.

This is my house.

Oh. Sorry if I startled you.
I know it's your house, Dre.

You just have a lot
of propane tanks in your trunk.

I thought I'd help you out.

How do you know my name?

Baby, you're the only Black man
on the street.

Everybody knows your name.

Well, yeah.

Well, also because I've been
your neighbor for eight years.

What?

Wayne?

From down the block?

- Yes!
- Yes.

Yes!

Wayne in the yellow house
with the wife, Vicki.

Blue house, husband, Steve.

- Right, right, right. Right, yeah.
- Uh-huh.

Okay. I mean, everything's good, man.

- You know, we just...
- Yeah.

...just ran out of propane. That's all.

Well, I got an extra tank in my garage.
I'll go grab it for you.

Okay. Well, you know, can I at
least give you some money for it?

Absolutely not.

We're neighbors.

You'd do the same for me, right?

- Be right back.
- E...

Looking at this stranger
willing to help me out

for absolutely nothing in return

made me realize that I was
wrong about everything.

- Listen, baby.
- Hmm?

When he comes back,

just let me know if you need me
to stand my ground.

- Mama.
- I'll wait till he's on our property.

Bow was right.

People can come together
in times of need.

I knew it was time to admit
that I was wrong.

What are you doing back so soon?

Yes.

And why do you smell like lavender?

It was a parting gift from Janine.

She is trying to break into
the urban market, Dre.

- Eh?
- People are the worst.

The only people you can count on
are ourselves.

I was wrong.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Or... maybe I'll let her
tell me I was right

for a little bit longer
before I apologize.

Turns out it was a trap.

I thought Janine wanted
to help us, but no.

She just wanted a captive audience.

Hmm.

And after you put your faith
in other people.

- I know.
- Uh-huh.

But at least I was able to
get us out of there gracefully.

I can't believe that you think

that as a medical professional,

I would sell this [bleep] to anybody!

This is overpriced snake oil!

I will admit that our proprietary blends

are a little bit pricy,
but you can tell your homegirls

- that we have financing and...
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

...no credit checks.

Kids! We are leaving!

But my phone's not charged yet!

Now, Junior!

Oh. Looks like somebody could
use a little eucalyptus!

So you were right.

Yes!

Because no one came to check on us,

and the only person that came by
was actually using us

for toilet paper and a pyramid scheme.

Mm-hmm.

We are the outsiders.

See, I've been trying to tell you, Bow,

these people don't give a damn about us.

Look, they wouldn't even
spit on us if we were on fire.

Hey, Dre.

- Hey.
- Thought I'd save you the trouble,

just drop this off out back.

Huh.

- Hello, Wayne.
- Hey.

What are you... doing here?

Oh. Well, Dre needed propane,
so I hooked him up.

Shh. Shh, shh.

Huh. You did, huh?

Damn, Wayne. You couldn't
leave that out front?

Let me know if there's anything
else I can help out with...

neighbor.

- Of course!
- Alright. Bye, Bow.

Oh, my God. So neighborly.

Wouldn't spit on us
if we were on fire, huh?

Okay, it was just
a figure of speech, Bow.

- Was it?
- Alright, you know what?

I've got to go get these steaks
and put them on the grill.

You know, they've been at room
temperature for the last six hours.

Yeah. That's why I thought it was
strange when you bought 'em.

I'm sorry I let my phone die again.

Honestly, I'm just glad you're okay.

When I didn't hear from you all day,

I started to get really worried.

It's 100 degrees out,
and I know how delicate you are.

Well, you know I come from
a long line of delicate men.

Yeah. What happened?

I didn't charge my phone,

and it came back to bite me,
like you said it would.

Ohh.

I just don't want you to think of me

as some sort of helpless idiot
that you always have to fix.

Everyone has their blind spots.

You are the most responsible
person I know.

You taught Jack to read

when Diane taught him
to read wrong on purpose.

I guess I shouldn't be
so hard on myself.

No.

I just want to look
dependable and strong.

You don't have to be
anything but yourself for me.

Well, that is a relief,

because I am not great in a crisis.

I don't know how to grow plants.

I'm scared of guns,
so I wouldn't be able to hunt.

- So?
- I don't know how to fix things.

I feel like I'd just be some
sort of modern-day court jester.

That is if I didn't die
during the first...

Okay. Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.

Maybe not totally yourself.

Right, right. Just pull back.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Alright.

I might not be able to tell
which one is raw and well done,

so I guess we're gonna have to
bite into them to find out.

So, are we just gonna pretend

that Propane Wayne didn't save the day?

- He did.
- Uh-huh.

But, you know,
when he came over to help,

I still felt like he was going to

accuse me of something
in my own driveway.

Mm.

Babe, you're right.

Maybe it's not us against the world.

But it is weird.

Hmm?

Being the only Black family around.

I'm not gonna lie, Dre.
I feel isolated, too.

Yeah.

It was so easy to believe in community

when all of my neighbors were Black.

But here, I feel like
I have to keep my guard up.

Yeah, well, if you hadn't
let your guard down,

then you would not be
about to grill them steaks.

I need to learn not to let
the fear of one thing going bad

make me miss out on the 99
things that are going well.

- Yeah.
- Ye...

Oh.

Look at Black Jesus.

Thank God!

Okay, I am gonna run the A/C
so cold that we get sick.

And we have time to watch
at least two of the "Fridays."

Alright, that sounds great, baby.

And for dessert, we can eat
one of the five pies I bought.

You bought five pies?

Actually, I bought six.

I ate one of them
when the kids deserted me.

Which one did you eat?

Sweet potato!

Hey-hey!

The lights are up. The stage is set.
It's Glo time!

Alright, cut to the chase.

How many friends and family
do I have to rope into this

- before I turn a profit?
- Mm.

35.

And I honestly don't think
I'm gonna get there.

This isn't about you.

I'd like to follow up
with some of the things

that you said in the Rewards section.

- Mm-hmm.
- Let's talk about this trip to Hawaii.

Mm. Technically, it's Guam,

but I think you two are above
the legal drinking age there.

You think you'd get more
for moving 20,000 units.

I'm out.

What? No, no.

They won't stop sending me oils!

Guys, please!

I went down to their headquarters.

It's just an abandoned warehouse
with chickens!