Black-ish (2014–…): Season 7, Episode 6 - Our Wedding Dre - full transcript

Dre: Black families have been
fighting to stay together

since the moment we landed
on these shores.

I'm luckier than most because
I'm surrounded by my family.

Three generations
spread over five bedrooms

and a guest house.

And now something is happening

that I never thought possible.

My parents
are getting remarried.

And they're about to have

the pandemic wedding
of their dreams.

Pops: Boy, move your big head!
You're blocking your mama.



How am I supposed to see
my beautiful, blushing bride

with your big head
in the way?

Where's the broom, Dre?

I told you I want to jump
the broom this time.

Ruby, are you sure
you should be

jumping over things
at this age?

Oh, baby.
I'm just saying.

- Here you go, Mama.
- We have your safety...

- Oh, baby.
- Hmm?

How about you
get me a broom

Diahann Carroll would have
jumped on "Dynasty"?

Ah.
[ Pops laughs ]

We gon' make sure
that we do all the traditions

we missed the first time.
Uh‐huh.



Including
keeping our vows.

That's right.

We gonna do
a money dance,

and I'm gonna stomp
on the glass

and get carried around
on a chair, like a Jewess.

Mm‐hmm.
Like a what?

And then
I'm gonna get everybody

to throw rice at us.

Actually,
they're using bird seed now

because, uh, the birds' stomachs
explode with rice.

You think they're gonna explode
at the wedding?

Well, I mean,
probably not.

Well, how about we not
[bleep] with tradition?

Make it long grain.
[ Laughs ]

Anything my baby wants!

Spare no expense, son.

Like everything else,

this wedding was going to
look different

than it would have
in the past.

Maybe we won't blow it out
quite the same way,

but that's okay,

because Pops and my mama will
have the most important people

standing there with them...

Hey ‐‐
...their family.

What's happening, Baby Dre?
[ Laughs ]

Norman!
What you doing here?

What kind of man
would I be

if I missed
my baby brother's wedding?

Someone who listens
to CDC recommendations

about traveling
during a pandemic.

Oh, man, please. You know I
don't listen to the government.

But I did get
a negative COVID test.

Well,
if that's the case...

come on in, brother.

You weren't invited.

But I'm here.

I'll have
the chicken breast.

You heard the man.

Put him down
for the chicken breast.

Chicken breast.
Yeah! He's family!

[ Laughs ]
Alright, baby.

Good to see you, Norm!
Oh, baby.

Oh, my goodness.

*BLACKISH*
Season 07 Episode 06

Episode Title: "Our Wedding Dre"

Pops may have been fine

with his brother showing up
out of the blue,

but I was still
having some trouble

wrapping my head around it.

Oh. Dre, you okay?

You got that mid‐'90s
"distracted O. J." face.

No.

My Uncle Norman
showed up to the wedding

that he wasn't invited to.

Ohhh. So you guys
have invitations, huh?

I thought you just posted
a neon flyer to a lightpole

telling people where
the party was at. What?

I'd be happy
if anybody in my family

surprised me with a visit
or a phone call or...

You know what?
Maybe just an e‐mail

letting me know
my Grammie had passed.

Okay, look, I don't need
an old man I barely know

showing up to my house
treating it like a hotel.

Just because
I put out fresh linens

doesn't mean
he gets to take advantage.

I don't understand, Dre.

I‐I thought Black people
were the ones

who claimed everybody
as their relatives.

You know,
w‐with your aunties

and your ‐‐ your play cousins
and whatnot.

First off,
you haven't earned the right

to use the term
"play cousins."

My bad. And secondly,
that's my problem.

My family is so big that
I don't need to pick up strays.

Plus, Pops' side of the family
is huge.

I start opening up to anyone
named Johnson, pretty soon,

I'll have Dwayne the Rock
staying at my guest house.

[ Chuckles ]
We are so on the same page.

None of my family's
welcome in my house,

extended or otherwise.

Okay,
I'm not saying never.

That's what happens
when you're rich.

We all hate each other,
and everyone is trying

to cut each other
out of the inheritance.

You should've
smothered your sister

when you had the chance,
Daddy.

I know, pumpkin.
I just ‐‐

I‐I didn't have the arm strength
when I was in nursery school.

Okay, I'm not smothering
my uncle, alright?

I just need
to put my foot down.

Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, Dre.

Trust me ‐‐ death by stomping
is a lot of clean‐up.

What?
Yeah, he's an expert.

Mm‐hmm.
I'd listen to him, Dre.

♪♪

Okay,
why would I ask you

to make me
a kente cloth wedding dress

without angel wings
sewn on the back?!

Right!
Exactly.

You trying to make me look
like a fool, Dionne?

Mm‐hmm. She is.
Don't let her play you, Grandma!

Rainbow:
What are you doing?

You know you're not supposed to
rile up your grandmother.

Stop.
But it's so easy.

I don't think Dionne made
those looks in "Black Is King,"

like she said she did.

This is the last thing
I need.

I have to drop off a check
at the photographer,

pick up the programs
from the printer.

I need to call the bakery to
confirm the cake for the wedding

and the erotic cake
for the honeymoon.

Ruby, why don't you let me

take some of this stuff
off your plate?

You listen to me, Rainbow.
I'm listening.

Earl put himself
back on the grid

so we could spend the rest
of our lives together.

So I'm gonna give that man
a wedding day

that is as perfect
as his bride.

Mm. So I need to control this

the way I need to control it,
alright?

Do you,
boo. And ‐‐ And you just be grateful

that you're
my baby's plus‐one.

Wha‐‐ Okay.

You can't be a plus‐one
if you're hosting!

I'm hosting...
the wedding.

I still had no desire

to have Uncle Wedding Crasher
on my couch,

but I decided I could deal
with one guest for Pops.

Hey, babe.
Hey, sweetie.

Hey, son, great news.
Hey.

Norman talked to Loretta
and some of the other cousins,

and it looks like they're all
coming out for the wedding, too.

Cousins?
Mm‐hmm.

How many of the cousins?

Well, you never know,
but... it's gonna be a party.

[ Chuckles ] Bow? Yeah?

Can I, uh ‐‐ Can I talk to you
upstairs for a second, babe?

More people?
Ohh.

What are we doing,
turning our house into Harpo's juke joint?

Okay.

Dre, I know
you're worried about the virus,

but we can have
the wedding outside.

We can put up screens,

and everyone can sit
at a comfortable distance,

and it'll be like
a megachurch overflow.

Okay, I'm not worried
about the virus.

First, it was Norman, then it
was cousins I don't know.

When does it end?

We only have enough glasses
for nine.

Dre, you can be
the bigger man

and handle
a very small imposition

for a couple of days!

Just a couple of days!

You're right.
It is his wedding.

Yeah.
It's a big house.

I probably won't even know
they're here.

Exactly.

[ Toilet flushes ]
What's that?

What is that?
What ‐‐

[ Gasps ]
[ Sighs ]

[ Gasps ]

Uh, y‐you're out of soap.

Oh, hell no!

You gotta
get out of my house.

Oh, come on, Dre.
A toilet's a toilet, man.

What you doing, son?

He's got to go, Pops.

Earl, talk some sense
to your son.

And tell Loretta and them
to turn they asses around,

'cause they not welcome here,
either.

Y‐You know what?

I'm just gonna wait out here
until you figure this out.

Do that.

What?

I knew I was right to kick
my uncle out of the house.

I gave him an inch,
and he took a mile...

of my toilet paper.

What the hell's
wrong with you, Dre?

Disrespecting your uncle
over a damn toilet?

I use that bathroom
all the time!

What? It's the nicest
one in the house.

You got all them lotions
and hand creams up in there.

Listen, Dre,
maybe Uncle Norman

did make himself
too comfortable,

but I can't just let you
kick him out.

Let me?

Man, are you forgetting
who keeps you

in those stolen lotions
and hand creams?

Look...

I didn't think any of my family
was coming to this wedding,

and now that they're here,
I see how much it means.

They're the keepers
of the family stories, son.

They connect me to my parents,
my grandparents,

hell, even my own story ‐‐
who I was when I was growing up,

who I've become.

Andre, I know they all feel
like strangers to you.

Hell, half of them
are strangers to me.

But I'm trying to make
a fresh start with your mother.

The least you could do is let me
have some of my people here with me.

Please.

Fine.

But they got to stay
at a hotel.

Okay.

Norman: Yes!
I'm glad you got this settled.

Now can you let me in?

There's a neighbor
that's clearly calling the cops.

So, the family
all came to L. A.,

and they all came
to the rehearsal dinner.

[ Indistinct conversations,
laughter ]

Hey, hey, Unc.
There you go.

Ooh, look at this
giant square ice cube.

Earl, you come a long way.

[ Both laugh ]

You remember when Grandma
had that party

and she sent us to buy a block
of ice from the ice man,

and we had to carry it back
two miles?

It was so hot out there,
by the time we got it home,

Grandma was the only one
to get an ice cube.

[ Both laugh ]

Uncle Earl, you know
who this one looks like, right?

Who? Norman: Yeah,
you're right, John John.

Right? Loretta,
you got the family albums?

Now, you know I do.
You brought Mama's albums?

Look at this. Yeah,
there he is right there.

Look at him.

Hell, Pops,
who is that?

That's my father's brother,
Dre.

That's Ironhead Johnson.

Ah.
Ironhead, huh?

He must have been
one hell of a boxer.

No. It's one of those
ironic nicknames.

He was known all over Tennessee
for his weak chin.

[ Laughs ]
Ah.

Matter of fact,
one time,

he broke his jaw
putting on a turtleneck.

[ Laughter ]

Hearing these stories

and getting a taste
of our history,

I was starting to come around
to Pops' way of seeing things.

Plus, it was making
everybody so happy

to see my mom and Pops
so happy.

Your grandparents
are just so cute.

I'm still shocked that they can
be in the same room together

with sharp objects.

You know, when they met,
they weren't much older than us.

It's good
to see love last.

I hope that's me someday.

Me too.

[ Chuckles ]

Oh, look.

Old folks
trying to take selfies.

I'mma go help. They don't need
any more pictures of the sky.

Get in there.
Yeah.

Grandma,
turn the phone around.

Was that your girlfriend
you were just with?

Mm‐hmm.

You two make
such a beautiful couple.

Thank you, Auntie.

You know, the secret
is minimal sun exposure

and nightly
skincare routines, yeah.

Looks like we'll be coming back
for another wedding soon.

No. [ Chuckling ] No.
Come on.

See?
Hey!

Oh!

Junior Lockhart‐Johnson Jr.

As Junior was seeing Olivia
in a new light,

I was seeing my family
in a new light, too.

I just wanted to let you know
everybody's talking about

how you sprang for
those fancy porta‐potties.

[ Both laugh ]
Yeah.

You know how much I like
a nice bathroom.

Yeah, unfortunately,
I do, Unc.

Mm. Yeah.

You been doing well for yourself,
huh? I'm trying.

Well, you know,
my boy Ryon

just graduated from college
with a marketing degree.

Really?
Yeah.

Everybody loves him.

If he just has a chance...

Okay... then he ‐‐ he
could take it and run with it.

Alright, well, if he doesn't
mind starting from the bottom,

you know, I can see what we have
available at Stevens & Lido.

[ Chuckling ] You mean
you gonna get my baby boy a job?

Hey, hey, hey.
No promises, Unc, alright?

I don't even know
if we have anything available,

but I could put in
a good word for him.

After all,
we are family, right?

Yeah.

Thank you, Dre, man.

Oh.
I really appreciate it.

Oh, you got it,
Unc. You got it. Really. Really.

[ Earth, Wind & Fire's "Fantasy"
plays ]

Hey, right.
Oh.

Okay.
This is my music, man.

Shoot, man, I'm gonna do
my Philip Bailey imitation.

Let me hear it.

[ Falsetto ]
♪ Every man ♪

♪ Ow! ♪
Oh, okay!

[ Laughs ]
Okay, Unc.

♪ In his heart,
there's a space ♪

♪ And the world can't erase
his fantasies ♪

♪ Take a ride... ♪

Hey, Pops.

Hey, son.

This whole wedding
wouldn't even be happening

if it wasn't for you.

And having my family here
with me like this, it's like...

it's like icing
on my second wedding cake.

It is pretty great,
right, Pops?

Mm‐hmm.

Hey, uh, I just want
to say I'm sorry

for overreacting
to Uncle Norman.

Did you know his youngest son
is interested in advertising?

How you know that? Well,
he told me he just graduated

and he's looking for a job,
so I told him

I'd see what I could do
at Stevens & Lido.

He did, huh?
Mm‐hmm.

Hold my drink for me.
Yeah, okay.

♪ Our voices will... ♪

♪ ...live together! ♪

♪ Till the twelfth
of never ♪

Hey ‐‐ Hey! Norman.

♪ As ‐‐ ♪

Did you tell Ryon to, uh,
hit Dre up about a job?

Oh, yeah, man.
Yeah.

It's good
that Dre can help, man.

Job market is rough
out there, man.

It is, but you didn't need
to hit my son up about it.

Man, that's family, man.
That's what family does.

It is. Dre is your family,
but he is my son.

I need you to take your hand
out his pocket.

My hand out of
his pocket?! Yeah!

We didn't come here
for a handout.

Exactly.
Yeah.

Although it would have been nice
for Dre to at least negotiate

a family rate at the hotel
he's forcing us to stay at.

You know,
the one without a swimming pool. Mm‐hmm.

Unlike the one here,
which he refuses to heat.

Okay, look, I'm not gonna
have y'all descend on my son

like a bunch
of damn locusts.

Hey, hey, hey, Earl, Earl,
Earl, Earl ‐‐ Y'all need to go!

No, you ain't
got to go home,

but you got to get
the hell out of here.

[ Gasps ] Get. Go on. Everybody.

B‐But, Earl ‐‐
Get!

Earl!
Go on!

Everybody!
Well, screw you!

Everyone leave!

[ Indistinct talking ]

Is he talking
to me?

Yes.

What ‐‐

♪♪

You ready to tell me
what happened?

I mean, you were so excited
to have your people here.

I don't know, son.

I just got mad
at the thought

of Norman showing up here
to use you.

Family has a way
of feeling

like they're entitled
to your success,

and I wouldn't be
doing my job as a father

if I didn't protect you.

They're my problem,
not yours.

Pops, you don't
have to protect me.

Yes, I do.

You've worked so damn hard
for everything you have,

and I'm proud of that.

I'm not gonna let anyone,

not even my brother,
mess with that.

You're proud of me.

'Course I'm proud of you,
dummy.

I don't want people
asking you for a job or rent

or a college fund.

It's best to keep
these things separate.

Okay, Pops, you've never really
said you were proud of me.

I tell you all the time.
Not really.

Dre, I just broke ties
with my brother.

Can we please
let this go?

Sorry.

Yeah, I just feel bad
that you're getting married

and you don't have
your family here.

Nah, you were right.

My family's right here.

As long as the people that live
in this house are at the wedding,

I'm straight.

Oh.
Hmm?

And, uh, that "hand
in your pocket" thing?

Yeah.
That don't apply to me.

Huh?
I gave you life.

I'mma stay here
till I die.

My parents' big day
had finally arrived,

and it was going to be hard
for any of our guests

not to get caught up
in the magic,

especially
the hopeless romantics.

Mmm!
You smell that?

Love is in the air.

No,
that's the wildfires.

Okay, how can you guys
be so cynical?

Today is
all about love.

Mm. Pops is walking around
feeling like a million bucks.

Olivia is gonna look perfect
in her wedding dress.

Sorry ‐‐
did you say "Olivia"?

No! No. No, no.

No.
Oh, God.

You have that dumb look on your face,
like when you found out

that weird guy from "Girls"
was in the new "Star Wars."

Yeah.
What?!

Everyone fantasizes
about what it would be like

when they marry Olivia
when they come to these things.

How are you
still like this?

Bro,
this is coming from me.

Don't do anything stupid.

I am just super happy
for Pops and Grandma.

Jack: Okay.
Diane: Okay, cool.

Oh, my God.

She's here.

Diane: Okay.

Oh, God.

He already lost.

Well, there is no point
in me meeting her now.

It's a shame.
They were a cute couple.

But as lovely
as everything was,

no wedding, no matter
how meticulously planned,

ever goes off without a hitch.

Miss me
with that nonsense!

Ruby, who was that?

A pastor...
Oh.

...who didn't realize
you're asking for trouble

if you order
take‐out sea bass!

This is just what I feared,
Rainbow.

The whole day
is falling apart!

Ohh.
Who's gonna marry us now?!

Ruby, I can marry
you and Pops.

You're ordained?

Well...

By Jesus?

By...

an online church
that charges $45.

Good enough.
Yes!

Okay.

Got this!

Yeah, there was a lot going on,

but no one forgot what the day
was truly about ‐‐

Pops and Mama were getting
their second chance at love,

and I couldn't have been
more happy for them.

♪ I'm so in love with you ♪

♪ Whatever you want to do ♪

♪ Is alright with me ♪

♪ 'Cause you make me feel
so brand‐new ♪

[ Whispering ]
Take care of my mama.

I cannot tell you
how wonderful it is

for us to be here today,

for ‐‐ Oh.

♪♪

...for all of us
to be here today

to witness
two very special people

reunite in matrimony.

And as an expression
of the unique way

in which these two
love each other,

Earl and Rubilene have elected
to write their own vows.

Well, as you all know,

I've never been one
for the spotlight.

[ Laughter ]

So I'll keep this short.

I love this man
with all my heart and soul.

And I am blessed
to be able

to spend the rest of my life
with him.

Pops.

Rubilene Johnson.

Woman, I can't believe
I have lived long enough

to find my way back
into your arms again.

You have made me
the man I am today.

I never knew
I could be this happy.

[ Gasps ]

I'm truly,
truly grateful.

Thank you, Black Jesus.
Amen.

[ Laughter ]

By the power vested in me
by the Internet,

I now pronounce you
husband and wife.

Again.

I told y'all
he couldn't quit me.

[ Laughs ]

[ Laughter and applause ]

[ Laughs ]

[ Luther Vandross'
"Never Too Much" plays ]

Thank you, girl!
Hey!

Rainbow!
Hey.

Thank you!
You saved the day!

You know, I'm glad it was you
that married us.

Aww. Ruby!
[ Laughs ]

It was 100% my honor.

And let me tell you
something.

You are not
such a bad mother‐in‐law.

I love you, too.

[ Both laugh ]

There you go!

Hey! $20?!
[ Laughs ]

What am I,
your work friend?

[ Both laugh ]

Come on, everybody!
Let's dance!

- Hey!
- Come on, Earl!

♪ ...hustle for
another dollar? ♪

♪ I'd rather be with you
'cause you... ♪

Olivia Denise Lockhart,

these last six months have been
the best of my life.

No, stupid.
You can't say that.

2020's been a horrible year.

Okay.

Olivia Denise Lockhart, I'm
so glad I've lived long enough

to find my way
back into your arms.

No.
Those are Pops' vows.

Junior...

you're not ready.

What are you
talking about?

That look in your eye ‐‐

I had that same look
with your mother

when I took her to a wedding
three months into dating her.

Really?

Mm‐hmm.
I get it, son.

But if you take anything
from your grandparents' story,

it's that you don't
have to rush love.

Oh, thank God.
Mm.

'Cause I'm in way over
my head. Mm‐hmm.

There's not even a ring
in this box.

I know.
I had to buy you that suit.

♪ And I just don't wanna stop ♪

Family is messy.

Family is complicated.

But family is still family.

After seeing as many ups and
downs as my parents have had,

I should have known that
by now.

In the end, it was a wedding
for the ages.

And that's a good thing,

because I'm never
gonna do this again.

Olivia, come on over here.
I want you in the picture.

Come on.
Rainbow: Aww!

I want you in the picture, too,
but there's no pressure.

Junior, I never pass up an
opportunity to get my picture taken.

Okay.
[ Chuckles ]

[ Camera shutter clicking ]
Oh. Mm‐hmm.

Smile, baby.
Got it.

Alright,
get a couple without her.

Oh.

Never know if it's gonna last,
you know?

Uh ‐‐
[ Clears throat ]

Oh.

No, no.
No, no.

She's talking
about me.

She did the same thing
at my wedding.

Go ahead.
Squish in.

I'll meet you
at the bar, babe.

Uh‐huh.
Mm‐hmm.

[ Camera shutter clicking ]