Billy Dilley's Super-Duper Subterranean Summer (2017–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Lab Friends... Forever?/Surviving Billy - full transcript
Billy's science project goes horribly wrong, and he and his two friends find themselves stuck in a strange land. Billy, Zeke and Marsha must find their way back to the Cheeserator.
That's me, Billy Dilley.
These are my two lab friends,
Zeke and Marsha.
- Lab partners.
- Lab partners.
This is my pet rat, Anaximander.
Isn't he adorable?
And together, we are about to go
on the accidental adventure
of a lifetime.
It all started last Tuesday.
I mean, Wednesday.
I needed two brave candidates
for this year's science fair.
And I needed an article
for the school newspaper,
or Becky Bookerman, editor-in-chief,
wasn't going to invite me
to her slumber party.
And I needed a passing
grade in science class,
or I was looking at another year
of summer school.
So, there I was with the world's
two best lab friends ever.
- Lab partners.
- Lab partners.
Have you ever wondered
how holes get into cheese?
Well, I know we have. Right, guys?
- Yes!
- Um, I guess so.
I present to you, as our entry
into this year's Gumbert Johnson
Middle School Science Fair...
The Cheeserator!
Meet the world's first, and possibly only,
manned cheese aerator.
It's for really big cheese.
It was all going Gouda, until...
Do-doo-doo-do-do
Do-doo-doo-do-do
- Billy Dilley
- We're subterranean
- Billy Dilley
- You're such a brainy kid
- Billy Dilley
- It's fascinating how
- Billy Dilley
- It's complicated now
- Billy Dilley
- Situation critical
- Billy Dilley
- I hope it's fixable
- D...
- Billy Dilley
Billy Dilley
Something tells me
we're not in Cheddar anymore.
Fascinating.
It was theorized, but I never dreamed
it could be true.
- What's true?
- What's true?
Completely isolated from the surface.
- Isolated?
- Isolated?
A world inside the world.
Billy, what are you talking about?
Imagine, if you will, that this doughnut
is the Earth.
Well, if my calculations are correct,
we are somewhere near
the orange sprinkles.
Or possibly, the pink sprinkle.
You mean we're stuck in the center
of a doughnut?
- This is awful!
- This is fascinating!
Just think of all the species
that must exist here,
like the Sphinx-teritops,
the Terradonculous,
the ultra rare Wormosaurus Rex!
- The what?
- Did you guys know
they have a very distinctive
way of greeting their friends?
It went something like this.
Whee!
Hiya!
And then, they really
kick it up a notch.
Billy, what are you doing?
Come on, you guys. Join me.
Not even if I was the last
Worma-whatever-you-said on Earth.
In Earth.
What was that?
Fascinating.
An ancient subterranean species.
- Most likely of the...
- Now, see here, you!
There you are, Billy.
Hey, guys. Just, you know,
familiarizing myself with these...
Gorks. Everyone around these parts
knows the Gorks.
We, my good fellows,
are not from around these parts.
We hail from above.
- From the surface?
- Correctamundo.
Wait. What?
Don't care much for surface
dwellers much around here.
Hey, don't we get a phone call?
Well, at least they gave us
a room with a view.
Look on the bright side, Zeke.
We're seeing new worlds,
making new friends.
And not only that...
- Billy's pet rat is here with us, too.
- That's funny, Marsha.
I thought for sure you'd be more upset
about missing that slumber party
you mentioned.
Nice goin', dude.
You've really made a mess of things
this time, Billy Dilley.
Now, there's only
one thing left to do.
Run!
Now, that's what I call
freedom rock.
Guys. I'm stuck.
It just won't budge.
Go on, save yourselves.
I mean it.
I didn't really mean it.
There you are.
The great Gorkager awaits.
The great Gorka-who?
- Bring in the professional entertainer.
- Yes, O Great One. As you requested.
Now, are you going
to entertain me,
or am I going to have
to entertain myself?
Well, I'm not really a professional,
entertainer.
Hi. My name is Belly.
Belly Dilley.
Hi, Belly Dilley.
My name is Billy Dilley.
Hey, Billy Dilley.
I sure could use a drink of water.
Of course.
Gee, thanks, Billy Dilley.
You think this is easy?
Fascinating. If that tickles your fancy,
prepare for Mach Five
on the excitement highway.
Does that scream entertainment or what?
Hey, sorry. I'm... I'm late.
Anyway, I'm ready to start entertaining,
Should I set up on stage?
So, if you're the entertainer,
who's this guy?
That's the surface dweller we captured,
Your Greatness.
Yeah, we tried to tell you earlier,
but you weren't listening.
Surface dweller?
- What?
- Plop, pleep.
Pleep, ploop, pleep, ploop.
- Pleep, ploop, pleep, ploop.
- Could it possibly be?
Zeke, Marsha.
Pleep, ploop,
pleep, ploop. Pleep, ploop.
Pleep, ploop...
You simpletons.
These aren't surface dwellers at all.
They're the ultra rare Wormosaurus Rex.
These could be the last ones
left on Earth.
- You mean, in Earth.
- Off with you then.
You're free to writhe and squirm
in the wild like nature intended.
And we'll check in periodically
to make sure you're doing okay.
And to double check
that you're not surface dwellers.
Pleep, ploop,
pleep, ploop, pleep, ploop.
So, how long do you think it's gonna take
to fix the Cheeserator, anyway, Billy?
Well, it took the whole semester
to build it the first time,
- so, my guess is about three months.
- But that's all summer.
You mean an entire summer break
of no summer school,
no teachers, no parents or rules?
I think I can deal with that.
Sorry you didn't make it
to your slumber party, lab partner.
Actually, I... I kinda did, lab friend.
Marsha, you... you mean it?
Think fast!
It's like that, is it?
Little did you know, you're dealing
with the undisputed pillow fighting champ
of eighth grade three years running.
You're forgetting
the most important component
of any successful pillow...
...Billy Dilley. Wait up, guys.
Not now, Mittens.
It's not breakfast time yet.
- I just had the weirdest dream.
- Let me guess.
You were stuck in a strange land
somewhere near the Earth's core,
and you got there in something
called the Cheeserator,
that was invented by a guy
in science class named Billy Dilley.
Zeke, how did you know?
Yeah.
- Speaking of whom.
- Comin' in hot.
- Fascinating.
- Billy?
I was just returning
from a morning dip.
There's a small, hospitable lagoon
just on the other side of that thicket.
Actually, it's more of a bog.
The lagoon, I mean, not the thicket.
That's just a thicket.
- I'm sure glad I remembered my swim suit.
- Wait, that's your swim suit?
No, these are my regular clothes.
- This is my swim suit.
- They look exactly the same.
From the front.
- Okay.
- Why?
Well, all this small talk's got me
in the mood for another swim.
Say, why don't you two join me?
Anaximander's coming.
Aren't you, buddy?
Don't forget your sunscreen. Well, guys?
Last one in is a rotten...
A... a rotten what?
Maybe what she means is...
No, I didn't quite...
Duck!
No, Marsha, it's a pterosaur.
Ducks didn't evolve until approximately...
Something tells me we won't be served
any snacks on this flight.
I'm afraid you're right, Zeke.
The first-class seats are in the back
near the tail section.
Just great.
Guys, look. It's the Cheeserator.
How's the Cheeserator gonna help us?
For starters, there's an emergency
survival pack on-board
that has everything we need
to last us the entire summer.
Perfect. Now all we have to do
is travel down off this spire,
traverse thousands of miles
of hazardous terrain,
and we're home free.
Easier said than done, Zeke.
Without a real plan of action,
we're likely to be stuck up here...
...forever.
Forever? No.
You got us into this mess,
you're getting us out.
- Take it easy on him, Zeke.
- He didn't know that...
Billy, you got us into this mess,
and you're gonna get us out!
Those guys are right.
I... I don't know what I should do.
What. That's it.
- We'll ask Mr. Whatzit!
- Whoo! Wait. Who?
Here we go.
It's Mr. Whatzit, the most incredible
science and learning-based
cable access TV show host
in the entire metropolitan region.
- Do you ever wonder What's it?
- Mr. Whatzit does!
Magic! Science! Art!
Body Health.
- And friendship!
- Friendship!
Mr. Whatzit?
That's right, and if anyone can get us
back to the Cheeserator, he can.
Tickle, tickle, tickle.
- Billy, it's a doll.
- Zeke, it's like a good luck charm.
I used to have this cute little lucky egg
that I would carry
around with me everywhere.
It would get me out
of any sticky situation.
- What happened to it?
- It hatched.
There were spiders everywhere.
Take flight.
Science is out of sight.
- Flight. That's it.
- It is?
We'll use this stuff to make a whirligig
to take us back to the Cheeserator.
- Why didn't I think of that?
- Because, Zeke, you're not Mr. Whatzit.
There we go.
- Good work, Zeke.
- Thanks.
Well, Marsha, the flowers are
a nice touch.
They're not flowers, Billy.
They're a magnified view
of the chicken pox
- I contracted in the fourth grade.
- Fascinating.
Guys.
Let's push it to the edge.
Woo-hoo! It worked!
- Yeah, I think we just forgot one thing.
- What's that, Zeke?
Whirligig to the rescue.
I think I sprained my spleen.
Hey.
Quiet, Zeke. I think these prehistoric
thorn plants respond to smell.
- You mean sound.
- Yeah, sound.
Don't worry. Mr. Whatzit can help us.
Let your curiosity run wild.
That's it. Run!
My shoe is untied.
That's terribly unsafe.
Now, we're never gonna find
our way back to the Cheeserator.
Don't worry, Marsha.
Mr. Whatzit has what we need
to help us find the way.
- A pocket compass.
- Pocket compass?
Yes, Zeke, the man has
a pocket compass.
Isn't it beautiful?
Hand-carved from the finest balsa wood.
Gold trim, leather inset,
hand-painted needle,
and a certificate of authenticity.
As long as it works.
No, it's not a working compass,
but you have to admire the craftsmanship.
- Give me that thing!
- Careful, Zeke. That's a collector's item.
Billy, we gotta find our way back
to that Cheeserator.
Get your head in the game, man!
- Billy, what do we do?
- Ask Mr. Whatzit what he thinks.
Give us the doll, Billy.
I'm not convinced
that's entirely necessary.
That's it!
It's time to have a word with Mr. Whatzit.
What word might that be?
Good-bye!
Mr. Whatzit!
I guess we better see if he's okay.
Of course.
He jumps off the cliff
in the opposite direction
of the Cheeserat or...
Hey, Marsha, what has twelve eyes,
eight legs, and hasn't used
- mouthwash in millions of years?
- I don't know, but it sure looks grouchy.
- Don't let life pass you by.
- Mr. Whatzit?
- I'm coming, Mr. Whatzit.
- Billy!
Hold on. That's funny.
For a second, I thought I heard Zeke
and Marsha calling my name.
Probably just the love song
of the three-toe orangutanasuar.
- No, Billy, it's us! Zeke and Marsha.
- No, Billy, it's us! Zeke and Marsha.
What a remarkable coincidence.
Orangutanasaurs named Zeke and Marsha.
- No, Zeke and Marsha, your friends!
- No, Zeke and Marsha, your friends!
We're Zeke and Marsha,
the orangutanasaurs.
Zeke and Marsha. Mr. Whatzit.
Almost.
Gotcha.
- Billy! It's a huge spider!
- Billy! It's a huge spider!
Hairy, too.
Big fangs.
- Billy, we need you!
- Billy, we need you!
Your friends need you.
Sorry, Mr. Whatzit. Can't talk now.
My friends need me.
I never thought I would end up
as lunch for a giant tarantula.
I did. It was in my horoscope
in Teen Person Monthly.
Are you a Pisces, too?
- Billy, you came back.
- That's right, Zeke.
And now, I...
Fascinating.
Hey, look. It's the Cheeserator.
And to celebrate...
...the emergency survival pack.
- Billy, is that what I think it is?
- That's right, Zeke.
For emergency use only.
Billy, we can't survive
on this stuff, man.
I'm talking about barbecued frosted
pickle bursters.
Blammo bars. Cherry crud cola.
Those things are all in the other
emergency survival pack, Zeke.
The other emergency survival pack?
Cherry crud cola.
Now, this is what I call surviving.
Now we can look forward to three
whole months of days just like today.
Who knew we could build an entire shelter
out of a few non-essential scraps
from the Cheeserator?
- I guess this is home sweet home.
- For the summer anyway.
It's just too bad Mr. Whatzit
isn't here to celebrate.
Mr. Whatzit!
I said you've got the wrong number
For the right guy
I'll do the job for you
Just pay the price
Run, run, run away
Baby, stick to the plan
- Whoo, whoo!
- Run, run, run away
Catch me if you can
These are my two lab friends,
Zeke and Marsha.
- Lab partners.
- Lab partners.
This is my pet rat, Anaximander.
Isn't he adorable?
And together, we are about to go
on the accidental adventure
of a lifetime.
It all started last Tuesday.
I mean, Wednesday.
I needed two brave candidates
for this year's science fair.
And I needed an article
for the school newspaper,
or Becky Bookerman, editor-in-chief,
wasn't going to invite me
to her slumber party.
And I needed a passing
grade in science class,
or I was looking at another year
of summer school.
So, there I was with the world's
two best lab friends ever.
- Lab partners.
- Lab partners.
Have you ever wondered
how holes get into cheese?
Well, I know we have. Right, guys?
- Yes!
- Um, I guess so.
I present to you, as our entry
into this year's Gumbert Johnson
Middle School Science Fair...
The Cheeserator!
Meet the world's first, and possibly only,
manned cheese aerator.
It's for really big cheese.
It was all going Gouda, until...
Do-doo-doo-do-do
Do-doo-doo-do-do
- Billy Dilley
- We're subterranean
- Billy Dilley
- You're such a brainy kid
- Billy Dilley
- It's fascinating how
- Billy Dilley
- It's complicated now
- Billy Dilley
- Situation critical
- Billy Dilley
- I hope it's fixable
- D...
- Billy Dilley
Billy Dilley
Something tells me
we're not in Cheddar anymore.
Fascinating.
It was theorized, but I never dreamed
it could be true.
- What's true?
- What's true?
Completely isolated from the surface.
- Isolated?
- Isolated?
A world inside the world.
Billy, what are you talking about?
Imagine, if you will, that this doughnut
is the Earth.
Well, if my calculations are correct,
we are somewhere near
the orange sprinkles.
Or possibly, the pink sprinkle.
You mean we're stuck in the center
of a doughnut?
- This is awful!
- This is fascinating!
Just think of all the species
that must exist here,
like the Sphinx-teritops,
the Terradonculous,
the ultra rare Wormosaurus Rex!
- The what?
- Did you guys know
they have a very distinctive
way of greeting their friends?
It went something like this.
Whee!
Hiya!
And then, they really
kick it up a notch.
Billy, what are you doing?
Come on, you guys. Join me.
Not even if I was the last
Worma-whatever-you-said on Earth.
In Earth.
What was that?
Fascinating.
An ancient subterranean species.
- Most likely of the...
- Now, see here, you!
There you are, Billy.
Hey, guys. Just, you know,
familiarizing myself with these...
Gorks. Everyone around these parts
knows the Gorks.
We, my good fellows,
are not from around these parts.
We hail from above.
- From the surface?
- Correctamundo.
Wait. What?
Don't care much for surface
dwellers much around here.
Hey, don't we get a phone call?
Well, at least they gave us
a room with a view.
Look on the bright side, Zeke.
We're seeing new worlds,
making new friends.
And not only that...
- Billy's pet rat is here with us, too.
- That's funny, Marsha.
I thought for sure you'd be more upset
about missing that slumber party
you mentioned.
Nice goin', dude.
You've really made a mess of things
this time, Billy Dilley.
Now, there's only
one thing left to do.
Run!
Now, that's what I call
freedom rock.
Guys. I'm stuck.
It just won't budge.
Go on, save yourselves.
I mean it.
I didn't really mean it.
There you are.
The great Gorkager awaits.
The great Gorka-who?
- Bring in the professional entertainer.
- Yes, O Great One. As you requested.
Now, are you going
to entertain me,
or am I going to have
to entertain myself?
Well, I'm not really a professional,
entertainer.
Hi. My name is Belly.
Belly Dilley.
Hi, Belly Dilley.
My name is Billy Dilley.
Hey, Billy Dilley.
I sure could use a drink of water.
Of course.
Gee, thanks, Billy Dilley.
You think this is easy?
Fascinating. If that tickles your fancy,
prepare for Mach Five
on the excitement highway.
Does that scream entertainment or what?
Hey, sorry. I'm... I'm late.
Anyway, I'm ready to start entertaining,
Should I set up on stage?
So, if you're the entertainer,
who's this guy?
That's the surface dweller we captured,
Your Greatness.
Yeah, we tried to tell you earlier,
but you weren't listening.
Surface dweller?
- What?
- Plop, pleep.
Pleep, ploop, pleep, ploop.
- Pleep, ploop, pleep, ploop.
- Could it possibly be?
Zeke, Marsha.
Pleep, ploop,
pleep, ploop. Pleep, ploop.
Pleep, ploop...
You simpletons.
These aren't surface dwellers at all.
They're the ultra rare Wormosaurus Rex.
These could be the last ones
left on Earth.
- You mean, in Earth.
- Off with you then.
You're free to writhe and squirm
in the wild like nature intended.
And we'll check in periodically
to make sure you're doing okay.
And to double check
that you're not surface dwellers.
Pleep, ploop,
pleep, ploop, pleep, ploop.
So, how long do you think it's gonna take
to fix the Cheeserator, anyway, Billy?
Well, it took the whole semester
to build it the first time,
- so, my guess is about three months.
- But that's all summer.
You mean an entire summer break
of no summer school,
no teachers, no parents or rules?
I think I can deal with that.
Sorry you didn't make it
to your slumber party, lab partner.
Actually, I... I kinda did, lab friend.
Marsha, you... you mean it?
Think fast!
It's like that, is it?
Little did you know, you're dealing
with the undisputed pillow fighting champ
of eighth grade three years running.
You're forgetting
the most important component
of any successful pillow...
...Billy Dilley. Wait up, guys.
Not now, Mittens.
It's not breakfast time yet.
- I just had the weirdest dream.
- Let me guess.
You were stuck in a strange land
somewhere near the Earth's core,
and you got there in something
called the Cheeserator,
that was invented by a guy
in science class named Billy Dilley.
Zeke, how did you know?
Yeah.
- Speaking of whom.
- Comin' in hot.
- Fascinating.
- Billy?
I was just returning
from a morning dip.
There's a small, hospitable lagoon
just on the other side of that thicket.
Actually, it's more of a bog.
The lagoon, I mean, not the thicket.
That's just a thicket.
- I'm sure glad I remembered my swim suit.
- Wait, that's your swim suit?
No, these are my regular clothes.
- This is my swim suit.
- They look exactly the same.
From the front.
- Okay.
- Why?
Well, all this small talk's got me
in the mood for another swim.
Say, why don't you two join me?
Anaximander's coming.
Aren't you, buddy?
Don't forget your sunscreen. Well, guys?
Last one in is a rotten...
A... a rotten what?
Maybe what she means is...
No, I didn't quite...
Duck!
No, Marsha, it's a pterosaur.
Ducks didn't evolve until approximately...
Something tells me we won't be served
any snacks on this flight.
I'm afraid you're right, Zeke.
The first-class seats are in the back
near the tail section.
Just great.
Guys, look. It's the Cheeserator.
How's the Cheeserator gonna help us?
For starters, there's an emergency
survival pack on-board
that has everything we need
to last us the entire summer.
Perfect. Now all we have to do
is travel down off this spire,
traverse thousands of miles
of hazardous terrain,
and we're home free.
Easier said than done, Zeke.
Without a real plan of action,
we're likely to be stuck up here...
...forever.
Forever? No.
You got us into this mess,
you're getting us out.
- Take it easy on him, Zeke.
- He didn't know that...
Billy, you got us into this mess,
and you're gonna get us out!
Those guys are right.
I... I don't know what I should do.
What. That's it.
- We'll ask Mr. Whatzit!
- Whoo! Wait. Who?
Here we go.
It's Mr. Whatzit, the most incredible
science and learning-based
cable access TV show host
in the entire metropolitan region.
- Do you ever wonder What's it?
- Mr. Whatzit does!
Magic! Science! Art!
Body Health.
- And friendship!
- Friendship!
Mr. Whatzit?
That's right, and if anyone can get us
back to the Cheeserator, he can.
Tickle, tickle, tickle.
- Billy, it's a doll.
- Zeke, it's like a good luck charm.
I used to have this cute little lucky egg
that I would carry
around with me everywhere.
It would get me out
of any sticky situation.
- What happened to it?
- It hatched.
There were spiders everywhere.
Take flight.
Science is out of sight.
- Flight. That's it.
- It is?
We'll use this stuff to make a whirligig
to take us back to the Cheeserator.
- Why didn't I think of that?
- Because, Zeke, you're not Mr. Whatzit.
There we go.
- Good work, Zeke.
- Thanks.
Well, Marsha, the flowers are
a nice touch.
They're not flowers, Billy.
They're a magnified view
of the chicken pox
- I contracted in the fourth grade.
- Fascinating.
Guys.
Let's push it to the edge.
Woo-hoo! It worked!
- Yeah, I think we just forgot one thing.
- What's that, Zeke?
Whirligig to the rescue.
I think I sprained my spleen.
Hey.
Quiet, Zeke. I think these prehistoric
thorn plants respond to smell.
- You mean sound.
- Yeah, sound.
Don't worry. Mr. Whatzit can help us.
Let your curiosity run wild.
That's it. Run!
My shoe is untied.
That's terribly unsafe.
Now, we're never gonna find
our way back to the Cheeserator.
Don't worry, Marsha.
Mr. Whatzit has what we need
to help us find the way.
- A pocket compass.
- Pocket compass?
Yes, Zeke, the man has
a pocket compass.
Isn't it beautiful?
Hand-carved from the finest balsa wood.
Gold trim, leather inset,
hand-painted needle,
and a certificate of authenticity.
As long as it works.
No, it's not a working compass,
but you have to admire the craftsmanship.
- Give me that thing!
- Careful, Zeke. That's a collector's item.
Billy, we gotta find our way back
to that Cheeserator.
Get your head in the game, man!
- Billy, what do we do?
- Ask Mr. Whatzit what he thinks.
Give us the doll, Billy.
I'm not convinced
that's entirely necessary.
That's it!
It's time to have a word with Mr. Whatzit.
What word might that be?
Good-bye!
Mr. Whatzit!
I guess we better see if he's okay.
Of course.
He jumps off the cliff
in the opposite direction
of the Cheeserat or...
Hey, Marsha, what has twelve eyes,
eight legs, and hasn't used
- mouthwash in millions of years?
- I don't know, but it sure looks grouchy.
- Don't let life pass you by.
- Mr. Whatzit?
- I'm coming, Mr. Whatzit.
- Billy!
Hold on. That's funny.
For a second, I thought I heard Zeke
and Marsha calling my name.
Probably just the love song
of the three-toe orangutanasuar.
- No, Billy, it's us! Zeke and Marsha.
- No, Billy, it's us! Zeke and Marsha.
What a remarkable coincidence.
Orangutanasaurs named Zeke and Marsha.
- No, Zeke and Marsha, your friends!
- No, Zeke and Marsha, your friends!
We're Zeke and Marsha,
the orangutanasaurs.
Zeke and Marsha. Mr. Whatzit.
Almost.
Gotcha.
- Billy! It's a huge spider!
- Billy! It's a huge spider!
Hairy, too.
Big fangs.
- Billy, we need you!
- Billy, we need you!
Your friends need you.
Sorry, Mr. Whatzit. Can't talk now.
My friends need me.
I never thought I would end up
as lunch for a giant tarantula.
I did. It was in my horoscope
in Teen Person Monthly.
Are you a Pisces, too?
- Billy, you came back.
- That's right, Zeke.
And now, I...
Fascinating.
Hey, look. It's the Cheeserator.
And to celebrate...
...the emergency survival pack.
- Billy, is that what I think it is?
- That's right, Zeke.
For emergency use only.
Billy, we can't survive
on this stuff, man.
I'm talking about barbecued frosted
pickle bursters.
Blammo bars. Cherry crud cola.
Those things are all in the other
emergency survival pack, Zeke.
The other emergency survival pack?
Cherry crud cola.
Now, this is what I call surviving.
Now we can look forward to three
whole months of days just like today.
Who knew we could build an entire shelter
out of a few non-essential scraps
from the Cheeserator?
- I guess this is home sweet home.
- For the summer anyway.
It's just too bad Mr. Whatzit
isn't here to celebrate.
Mr. Whatzit!
I said you've got the wrong number
For the right guy
I'll do the job for you
Just pay the price
Run, run, run away
Baby, stick to the plan
- Whoo, whoo!
- Run, run, run away
Catch me if you can