Big Time Rush (2009–2013): Season 4, Episode 3 - Big Time Lies - full transcript

- All agents report.

I repeat, all agents report.

Over!

- No eyes on red falcon
- on the fourth floor.

Ksssh!

- She's not at the pool.

- Are you sunning by the pool,

- surrounded by girls
- in sunglasses?

- What?
- No.

- I'm going through a tunnel.
- Ksssh!

Reception... tunnel... shwshw!



- Logan, have you spotted the
- nest?

- I am unable to hack

into bitters' system,

and I'm a little freaked out

by his screen saver.

- What are you doing?

- Covert operations to find out

which apartment Lucy moved into

so I can avoid her at all costs.

- Honey, she lives here now,

- and you and Jo will
- just have to deal with this.

- Negatory.

Because I have a team

of special ops



that will make sure

Lucy never comes between us.

Over.

Kshh!

- Ready for our pool date?

- Yep!

And no one will come between us.

- Oh, hey guys.

Uh, you headed to the pool?

- ♪ Make it count,
- play it straight ♪

- ♪ don't look back,
- don't hesitate ♪

- ♪ what you want,
- what you feel ♪

- ♪ never quit
- and make it real ♪

♪ If you want it all,

lay it on the line ♪

♪ it's the only life you got

so you got to live it big time ♪

- This is so awkward.

- Mm-hmm.

- I can't imagine
- what Jo must be going through.

- I know.

It's like Kendall's

ex-girlfriend is literally

living in between them.

- Guys, we're right here.

- And anyway,

Lucy moving back to the

palm woods doesn't bother me.

See?

- Oh, quick!
- She's coming over here!

Act natural!

- Be cool! Be cool!

- Hey, guys.

- 'Sup?

You know, just actin' natural.

Why'd you move back in?

- Look, I didn't move back

to start any drama,

but my album's

all about being strong and doing

what makes you happy,

and the palm woods makes me

happy,

so I'm back.

- Okay.

Now that that's out of the way,

Carlos and I are

off to rocque records.

- Why don't you tag along, and you -
and I can... I don't know... make - Out.

- James.

I'd rather eat hair.

- You will be mine!

- Anyway.

- I don't want things
- to be awkward,

So I hope we can be friends.

- I'd like that.
- Me too.

- See you.

- Well, this is gonna end badly.

- Whoo!

- Nothing kills
- wait-for-Gustavo time

Like a little soda bowling.

- Okay, if I make this strike,

- that means Lucy
- totally likes me,

And we'll be dating very soon.

- Hey!

What are you doing?

- Soda bowling for love.

- Well, don't!

- Go put the sodas
- back in the pantry,

And warm up your voices.

- Yeah, we're gonna pick out
- some new microphones,

And I need my studio a-tidy

when I get a-back.

- Oh, they're gone!

- Go, go, go, go, go!

- This is for love!

- Don't worry.

- It's not a problem
- as long as the soda doesn't...

- According to this,

- George Washington's best friend
- was an eagle

And he lived in a pyramid.

Done.

- Are you looking at a dollar
- bill?

- Maybe.

- Try reading the book.

- Oh, sweetie,
- are you getting sick?

Nope.

- Are you about to tell a lie?

- Yep.

Hey.

- Hey, you.
- Ready to go to the play?

Four hours of experimental

shadow acting and water sounds!

- Oh, it sounds great, but...

- I think I'm getting
- a little sick.

- Oh, no.

That's terrible.

- Well, bye.

- The only place you're going

is to doc Hollywood

right now.

- What?
- Uh, no.

No, uh... help!

- See?

Lying gets you nowhere.

- You're right, mom.

I agree with you.

- Really?
- No.

I'm lying.

- That was big time rush's
- latest hit.

And now, here's Lucy stone.

- You're listening to all news,
- all the time,

- Except for Lucy stone's
- newest hit,

"you dumped me".

- Think I'm gonna go get

my mp3 player.

- Don't get in any elevators
- with anyone.

- That is funny because

Lucy living here is funny.

Whoa!

- I'm welding things.

- Hi, Kendall.

- This would be awkward

if we weren't just friends now.

Whoa.

- Yeah, about that.

- Uh, we should stop.

- You're right.

- That's not what I meant.

- Kendall,

we've done this before,

and I think you know

what comes next.

- This is me.

- That's not what comes next.

- Gustavo said not to soda bowl
- in the studio.

We did.

And we're dead.

- We can fix this.

Watch.

Huh?

- We got to tell 'em the truth.

Just come clean and accept

the consequences like men.

- You're right.

We got to tell 'em the truth.

Or...

- Tracks 2, 2, 4...

We were robbed!

- Come on.

Come on!

Come on!

Now do you want a sword

or a puppy?

- I want you to help Logan.

He's really sick.

Really sick.

- Sounds serious.

- Step into my exam room
- and we'll take a look.

- Okay, so why are you lying?

- What?
- How'd you know?

- Because I'm a doctor

and a man.

Now details.

- Camille wants me to go to a...

Shadow acting water play,

but I don't want to go,

so I said I was sick,

and now I need you

to back me up.

- You want me to lie?

- But I could lose
- my medical license.

Again.

- Uh, did I mention the play
- is four hours long?

- Camille, you might as well go
- to your play

- Because I'm gonna be very busy
- running tests on Logan.

- It's very serious.

- Really?
- Mm.

- If it's serious,

then I'm not going anywhere.

Tell him I'm right here

for him if he needs me.

- Cool.

- Why did you say
- it was serious?

- Cause it sounded medical.

- What am I gonna do?

- If Jo finds out
- that I ran into Lucy,

- Things are gonna get weird
- and awkward.

- You owe it to Jo

to tell her the truth.

And remember what George

Washington said.

You should never tell a lie.

- Or just wait it out.

- Lucy'll eventually get
- that you're not interested,

Back off, and nobody gets hurt.

- Nobody gets hurt.

That's good, and I like good.

- Not telling Jo is lying.

And remember what else

George Washington said.

Liar, liar, pants on fire.

- He didn't say that.
- Yes, he did.

- Um, okay.

Thank you both

for your confusing advice,

- but I'm gonna go
- back down to the pool

And pray I don't run into Lucy.

Darn it!

- Hi, Kendall.

Now where were we?

- Uh, yeah.

Just about there.

Um, look, you're, uh...

Lucy, I just want to go see Jo,

who's at the pool

because I don't want things

to get, like, weird and awkward.

Oh.

- Hey, Jo.

- Got the music.

- Did something happen in there?

- Um...

- Tell her the truth.

Remember, liar, liar,

pants on fire.

- No, lie.

That way nobody gets hurt.

- Truth!

- Lie to her.
- Truth!

- Lie.
- Truth.

- Lie.

- Truth!

- Oh, in there?

Nope.

Absolutely nothing happened

in there.

Do you smell something burning?

- Yup.

Your pants are on fire.

- Oh!

Pants on fire!

- Hey.

- Stop!

- Did you lie?

- Yep.

Lucy wants me back,

Jo wants the truth,

you two keep appearing

on my shoulders,

and I don't know what to do.

- First, stop lying,

and second, it's laundry day,

- and you only have
- one other pair of pants.

- Or just never leave Jo's side.

- Lucy won't flirt with you
- in front of Jo.

Eventually, she'll stop trying,

and problem solved.

- Problem not solved.

You, zip it,

and finish your project.

You, tell Jo the truth,

- or I am gonna be
- very disappointed.

- You know what, mom?

You're right.

You're going to be

very disappointed.

- My "world's angriest

producer" award,

my "everything's bigger

in Texas" mug...

You have to find this guy!

- Which is why we need to know

what did this robber look like?

What did he look like?

- Cowboy.
- Pirate.

- A cowboy pirate?

- Uh-huh.
- Yep.

- Put out an a.P.B. On a...

Cowboy pirate.

And you two, I need to see a

list of all the items destroyed.

- I feel so guilty lying.

- Shh.

Don't worry about it, all right?

- This case is
- gonna remain unsolved,

- And we're gonna remain
- UN in trouble

- Because they're never gonna find
- a cowboy pirate.

- Okay, so which one is it?

- Is it cowboy pirate

number two?

- Or is it the one
- with the parrot?

- Or is it all some big lie?

- Okay.

Look, the truth is...

- it was number two!

- Logan, just tell Camille
- the truth

And go to her awful play.

- Admit I lied?

That's worse than lying.

- Now print me up a bunch
- of terrible symptoms

That she'll believe.

Okay, Camille, according

to these real test results,

Logan is suffering

from low hair pressure,

painful rashes,

and skin failure.

So I'm prescribing him to stay

for however long

this play thing is

and for you to go.

- Well, you just described

mabongo fever.

And since you've been

in an enclosed room with him

for the past half hour,

you're infected, too,

and you both need to be

quarantined.

Either that or the two of you

are lying.

- You guys are pathetic.

- But we're not lying.

- Yeah!

'Scuse me.

- Why are you walking

so close to me?

- Because we're close.

- You're not gonna follow me
- in the bathroom, are you?

- No.

But you should hold it!

Because I read in a book

that it is good for you.

Holdin' it right now.

Feels good.

- Okay, did something happen
- in the elevator?

'Cause you're acting weird.

- Nothing happened

in the elevator.

- Then wait here.

- Been brainstorming
- some new song titles.

- Uh, um...

- What do you think?

Escape is futile,

you will be mine,

and Kendall dumped Jo because

he realized he still likes me.

- What's going on?

- Think it's locked.

How about the song title,

- please go away
- so I can stop lying?

- How about blow you a kiss?

- Did I hear Lucy?

- No.

- Are you lying to me?

Remember...

- Not now!

Am I lying to you, or ever?

So why don't we just get on out

of here?

You smell something burning?

- Yeah, your pants

are on fire again.

Pants on fire!

Pants on fire!

Splash!

- I can't enjoy snacks.

Because of us, cowboy pirate

number two is in jail.

- We can fix this.

All we have to do is prove that

the studio bandit wasn't him.

- Okay,
- but that means confessing

That we broke

all of Gustavo's stuff.

- Or...

- We really have to do...

We were robbed again!

- Mm-Kay.
- I think she's asleep.

- Well, of course she's asleep.

- She's reading boring
- medical journals.

That's why I never read them.

- What?

Okay, let's get a second opinion

- and get out
- of this stupid bubble.

- Ahem.

Just admit you're lying,

and I won't break up with you

or report you for malpractice.

- Lying?

How dare you, madame?

Wait.

We have fevers!

We are sick!

- We aren't lying.

We have colds!

- Whoo!

- Fine.
- You are sick.

- But if you didn't want
- to go to the play,

You should have just said so.

- I cannot be seen wearing my

mom's pants.

- Should have thought of that
- before you lied

And burned all your pants.

- You sure you don't want us - to
stay in case something goes - Wrong?

- Oh, don't worry.

You'll appear on my shoulders.

Unbelievable!

- Oh, relax, hot pants.

I was just working

on my next hit song.

It's about me...

In a slide with...

My guitar,

and I'm playing a song,

when, all of a sudden...

- that's Jo.

Quick, hide in the slide.

- I just like that rhyme.

- Just hide!

Hide, hide!

Hide, hide, hide!

Hi!

- Hi. Listen, I wanted

to talk to you about...

Those pants.

- Uh, yeah, see,

what happened was...

- is that Lucy's guitar?

- Uh, I mean, no, it is Logan's.

- Then why does it say
- Lucy on it?

- That means guitar in

Icelandic.

It is actually "Lou-ki."

- It's just all day long,

I've had this feeling like

Lucy's coming between us,

and it's just so frustrating.

- Hi, Jo.

- Uh...

Uh!

Jo, wait!

I know, lying is bad.

- Okay, I guess this means

that cowboy pirate numeral dos

is innocent.

- And can be set free.

Hey, great work, commissioner.

- I'm not so sure.

It's starting

to look like an inside job.

Gustavo rocque,

you're under arrest.

- What?
- What?

What?

- Your fingerprints are all over
- both crime scenes.

- He works here, genius.

- Uh, yeah.
- Why would I Rob my own studio?

- Zip it, punk.

Don't worry, boys.

He's going away

for a very long time.

Get him out of here.

- Wait, it was us!

- We did it!

- We were soda bowling for love,

and a bottle broke.

- It exploded,
- and broke everything.

- And then we made up that story

- because we didn't want to get in
- trouble.

And we're sorry.

Just take us.

- And that's how

you get a confession.

- What?
- Huh?

- Whoa.
- Wait, wait, wait.

- You knew it was these two
- the entire time?

- Yeah.

- Just wanted to see how far
- they would take it.

And you two did not disappoint.

- Wait, wait.

You had nothing better to do

- but fake this whole
- investigation?

- To teach us a lesson

about lying?

- Well, it was a slow week.

- Jo!

Please wait!

I cannot run in these pants.

- You lied to me.

- Yes.

I lied.

- Lucy tried to kiss me
- in the elevator,

And I didn't tell you because...

I thought you might get upset.

- I was afraid
- we might break up again.

- Well, I lied too.

I did care that Lucy was back.

I mean, she's so pretty

and talented and...

- I was afraid
- that I might lose you too.

- That will never happen.

And I promise to never lie

again.

- Me too.

- Me too.

- Ugh!

- She is really good at that.

- And I am so sorry.

I don't want Kendall back.

I was just trying

to create drama

- to help me write some new songs
- for my album.

When Kendall picked you over me,

- I wrote some of the best songs
- of my life.

But now that I'm over it,

- I can't write a good song
- to save my life.

- Well, he is good

for inspiration.

- Like, the next time
- I have to laugh on set,

I'm gonna think of those pants.

- Huh?

- Maybe I can write
- a song about that.

- Yeah.

- What rhymes with "mom pants?"

- How about "so wrong pants?"

- You guys should stop
- being friends now.

- Let's write so many.

- Well, I guess we sure

learned our lesson.

- Yup.

Honesty is the best policy.

- Oh, not you guys too.

- Huh.

What's his problem?

- I don't know.

Probably those pants.

- You guys were right.

This is awful.

- Are you kidding me?

This is actually really good.

- It's amazing.

And there's three hours left.

I think I'm getting sick.

Let's go.

- Well, feel better, okay?

- Let me know how it ends.

- How do they do that?

- And look
- at the heart bouncing.

- ♪ Step it up,
- get in gear ♪

- ♪ go for broke,
- make it clear ♪

- ♪ make it work,

get it right ♪

♪ Go and make your luck

with the life you choose ♪

♪ if you want it all,

lay it on the line ♪

♪ it's the only life you got

so you got to live it big time ♪