Big Time Rush (2009–2013): Season 4, Episode 1 - Big Time Invasion - full transcript
The latest British invasion (three new boy bands) puts the fear of obsolescence in Big Time Rush. Figuring new management is the answer, the boys divide over whom to follow, Kendall and Carlos one way versus Logan and James another. Meanwhile, Katie's hope for an influx of new girls at the Palm Woods is thwarted by Reginald's new business plan, and Jennifer finds dancing with abandon in the apartment more of a risky business than expected.
We've got to stop the invasion.
- It could wipe out
- everything we know.
- You know
- it's a spitball fight,
Not an alien invasion.
- Can I just play
- the way I want to?
- Fine.
- Now see if you can spot
- the enemy.
- They're in the lobby.
- This year's gonna be great.
We're recording our third album,
I have cooler hair,
- and we're about to announce
- our huge summer tour.
- Yup!
- As long as we all
- stick together,
Nothing can stop
big time rush.
Now let's destroy Carlos.
- Give me your straw.
- Gross!
- What are you gonna do with it?
- I'm gonna save
- this lost planet
- With an action-movie-cool
- slide move thing.
Stop! Stop! Stop!
- Both:
- Gustavo's gonna kill him!
- With one direction,
- the wanted,
- And three new boy bands crossing
- the Atlantic
With hot new albums
and huge U.S. summer tours.
It's a new British invasion
that will surely leave American
boy band big time rush
in the dust.
Or should I say big time who?
- ♪ Make it count,
- play it straight ♪
- ♪ don't look back,
- don't hesitate ♪
- ♪ what you want,
- what you feel ♪
- ♪ never quit
- and make it real ♪
♪ If you want it all,
lay it on the line ♪
♪ it's the only life you got
so you got to live it big time ♪
- ♪ Make it count,
play it straight ♪
♪ don't look back,
don't hesitate ♪
Why aren't you guys
at the studio?
- Both:
- We're being invaded!
- And nice dance sort of.
- I wasn't dancing.
I'm cleaning.
And now i'm... I'm cleaning
the back hallway.
- Enough with the spitballs.
- The British
- are not actually invading.
- Oh, really?
- Have you seen this month's
- pop tiger?
We're nowhere on the cover,
- and besides one "d"
- and the wanted,
Look who else is invading
our great land:
Hair 3,
colorful pants.
Don't forget Simon Cowell's
next boy band.
- Don't panic.
We are in here.
Here's Logan's adorable
"call me" poster.
- It's cute.
- And James,
who will work for hugs.
- I will!
- Okay, so that's 2 of ours
to 18 of theirs.
How did this happen?
- Simon Cowell.
He manages all of these bands
and has an army helping him.
- Gustavo, on the other hand,
- does everything himself.
For a man his size,
he's spread very thin.
- We need a new manager.
Katie, be our new manager.
- Can't.
Monthly leases ended yesterday,
and I am going downstairs to see
if any girls my age moved in.
I love you guys,
- but you're not girls
- who I can talk about boys with.
- Huh!
We can talk about boys.
- Yeah.
- And we do not need
- a new manager.
- But statistics do show
- new managers reinvigorate
- lagging companies.
- Smart talk.
- And it looks like
- you're outnumbered.
- Tell him where you stand,
- invasion buddy of mine.
- I'm on this side.
- Oh, you just made
- a big mistake.
Huh!
- Okay, I don't know
what we're doing here.
- We are going back
to rocque records
to see how Gustavo,
our manager,
plans on handling
this invasion.
- Hey.
- You guys want to go
- to the pool?
- Not a good time, ladies!
- Trying to stop
- an invasion here!
- As one "d" and the wanted
- launch their summer tours
In Boston and Atlanta,
we will launch ours in D.C.,
thus protecting the capitol.
- But the next night,
they advance to Richmond
and Baltimore.
- So we fall back
to Kansas City.
- But that's when hair 3,
colorful pants...
- And s.C.N.B.B. Start
their tours.
- Then all of the bands move
into the interior cities...
- Which means...
- You're surrounded.
- Are you here to help us
- or make us feel bad?
- Yes.
And the American-British
music rivalry is nothing new.
- When the Beatles invaded
- in the '60s,
They wiped out Elvis
and the American rock scene.
So we retaliated
with the dance sounds of disco.
- Then they launched
- a new wave offensive
- That washed away
- our dance rebellion
And rendered
all my white suits useless.
But grunge brought america back.
- And although their angst-filled
- lyrics made me sad,
It made me money.
- Right, so you want us
- to fight off the invasion
With everything we've got.
- Close.
I want you to surrender.
- It's time to ditch
- the boy bands
And find music's next big thing.
We can't surrender.
- Sure you can.
Just wave these.
- From now on, this studio
- and its resources
Will be used solely to find
the next wave of music.
Sorry, boys.
It's over.
It's been fun,
but it's over.
- We're not waving these!
- You are!
- I can fix this.
I'm a mega songwriter,
producer, and manager.
I'm a triple threat!
- Or maybe you're spread
- too thin.
- What?
- Maybe we need a new manager...
With fresh ideas that
invigorates things and stuff.
- Oh, okay, yeah.
You know what?
You guys go out
and find a new manager
- that'll bring some fresh ideas
- to the band
- To help defeat
- the British invasion.
- You don't have a problem
- with that?
- I have a big problem
with that!
Enjoy your new manager,
because I quit!
- Okay...
- Oh...
- Guys!
- He did say to go out
and find a new manager.
- Not the way
- you're thinking it!
- Hey, Katie, I got to take out
a wasps' nest.
Do you want to shoot off a can?
- This stuff sprays, like,
- 30 feet.
- No, thanks.
I'm about to meet my future bff.
- And no offense,
- but it's time for me
- To start hanging out with girls
- and talk about boys,
Not wasps.
- Oh.
Well, okay.
- I'll see you later,
- I guess.
- Check-in time.
Bring on the bffs.
[Indistinct chatter
[and cell phones ringing]
Who are all these guys
and where are my potential bffs?
- These are businessmen,
- because I am turning
- the palm woods
Into a business residence.
No more pool parties,
t.p.'d palm trees,
and no more headaches.
Here's your free Wi-Fi password,
your complimentary
continental breakfast,
and hot water is
in the bathroom.
Have a palm woods day.
- I just do not think
- we need a new manager.
- Alan sharp was the force
- behind america's
- greatest boy bands,
From new kids
to backstreet to 'nsync.
- We don't need help.
I am prepared to fight
this invasion on my own.
- Is that a ten straw?
- Try 12.
- Okay, we will meet with him.
But remember,
this is not a real invasion.
- Gentlemen,
this is an invasion,
and it is real.
These British boy bands are
like a hot boy bomb,
and they're coming
to blow you off the map
- unless you got
- a more powerful weapon like me,
Alan sharp.
Would you like a tiny water?
- Little sparkly,
- not too hard on the tummy.
- Oh, it's just that Gustavo's
the only manager
that we've ever known.
- Yeah, and we're reluctant
to rush into anything.
- You sign with me today,
I will unleash a barrage:
TV appearances,
viral videos,
moon advertising
that'll rocket big time rush
back to the top.
- I'm ready to fight
- for you, fellas.
Question is,
are you ready to fight
- for the life
- of the American boy band?
[Indistinct chatter
[and cell phones ringing]
- Come on, come on, come on.
I need your help.
- Ohh.
- I thought you didn't want
- to hang out anymore,
'cause I can't talk about boys,
which I totally can.
- This is not the time for that,
- 'cause the palm woods
- has been invaded.
Invaded?
- What is it?
- Wasps?
Rodents?
Businessmen.
- No!
- No ax.
- Okay, so all we have to do
is sign right here
and big time rush has
a new manager.
- Not so sure.
- I don't know.
- What?
Getting a new manager
was your idea.
- The water was very tiny.
- You said sharp was the best
- in the business,
And look around you.
- I don't see anybody else
- riding up on a white horse
Trying to save us
from the invasion.
- Did you say "horse"
or "horsche"?
- Well, well.
If it isn't big time rush,
American boy band about
to be destroyed by the brits.
Let me guess:
- You just met with
- a past-his-prime manager
Whose only solutions for you
were TV spots
and moon advertising?
- He was a bit vague.
- Allow me to give you
- some specifics.
One sold-out summer tour,
- two sports cars
- for each of you
In case one gets dirty,
$3 million advance
for your next cd,
and four guys whose dreams
all came true because of me,
Mitchell gold.
Here's my card.
Call me if you need me.
And you do.
- Can you believe that guy?
Both: You mean our new manager?
- What?
- No, he's not.
Both: Yes, he is.
- Both:
- We're going with sharp.
- Oh, well, we're going
- with big-water guy.
- Well, I don't like
- the big bottle...
- I'm so tired of this...
- We want to get
- to the top, okay?
- You've got to stop doing that!
- Uh, walking into the apartment
while you dance weirdly?
- I'm cleaning.
- And why are you
- all standing there like that
Separated
with your arms folded?
Are you fighting?
- We are fighting
a British invasion,
and they're doing it wrong.
- No, we're doing it right.
- Yeah.
Oh, our new manager
just got us
- on the daily show
- With Jon Stewart.
- Ah!
- I want to be on that show.
He would love me.
- Well, you can't,
and he wouldn't.
- Ohh, look at that.
- Our new manager just landed us
- featured vocals
On a new Gavin degraw single.
Ha!
- We are going to be singing
- the national anthem
At Dodgers stadium.
- Saturday top 40.
- Pop tiger cover shoot.
- Are those 12 straws?
Both: 16.
- Don't!
- You guys know you can't fight
- a British invasion
If you're having a civil war.
- Hey.
- Can you guys hit the pool now?
- Not a good time, ladies.
- Fighting a civil war here.
- Ugh!
- Don't follow us.
- You don't follow us.
- [Indistinct chatter
- and cell phones ringing]
- I figure each businessman
- we get rid of
Equals one potential bff
I can talk about boys to.
I can talk about boys.
- Stop it.
- Now, if there's one thing
- businessmen hate,
It's annoying kids.
So I'm gonna play
a little dodgeball in the hall.
- But look at 'em.
- They travel in large packs.
- [Indistinct chatter
- and cell phones ringing]
They might not even notice.
- Keep quiet.
- I've got to get closer.
Darn it!
- This is the daily show
with Jon Stewart.
- Welcome to the daily show.
- My name is Jon Stewart.
Tonight, big show
with a big-time visit
from big time rush.
About an hour or so ago...
- Hey, guys, I got here
- as fast as I could.
- Good.
- Now get them off the show.
- I can't do that.
- They're not my clients.
- Well, then, sue them,
- 'cause this makes us look bad.
And I never look bad.
- Don't worry.
- You're going to sound great
- featured on that hot new single,
So come on, let's go.
- Not yet.
- From big time rush,
please welcome Kendall
and Carlos.
- Uh...
Big time rush, everybody.
We'll be right back.
- Thanks, Gavin.
- I think this song
- is gonna be huge.
- Quiet, Mitch.
- Right.
Quieting down.
- Okay, guys, when you sing,
- I want you to imagine
A cool breeze, okay,
just blowing in your face.
One, two.
One, two, three.
- Ah!
- Not the face!
- I will have revenge!
- That was terrible.
Somebody call colorful pants.
- And now singing
our national anthem,
from big time rush,
Kendall and Carlos.
Both:
- I hate you!
- Hey, everyone, it's Logan
- and James from big time rush,
And we are guest-hosting
Saturday top 40.
Coming up next is
a brand-new hit from... oh, no.
- He started it!
- Put them on the floor!
- He started it!
- Okay, all right,
that is enough!
- We booked so many great jobs
- for you guys...
- And you ruined them all.
- Yeah, well, I'm not so sure
- you're managing us very well.
- Managing you?
I want to destroy you.
- Okay, we're sorry.
- No, no, no.
- You are not sorry.
You are an idiot.
- You forgot to say "pretty".
He's a pretty idiot.
- Thank you.
- Look at yourselves.
- You're has-beens
- before you're even 20.
- Okay.
That's a little harsh.
- Your careers are over.
Well...
In that case...
You're fired.
- You've got a lot of nerve!
- Heard you on the radio
this morning.
And it was really bad.
- Before you say anything,
we just fired our managers.
- I'm surprised
- they lasted this long.
- So what do we do now?
- I don't know!
I'm scared!
- This is bad.
- I posted online that the rooms
- would be available at 1:00,
- But the businessmen
- are still here.
- Well, haunting their rooms
- didn't work,
- And neither does
- the wasp spray.
- Then there's only one thing
- left to do.
- Hey, I thought you said
- no axes.
- I'm not gonna use it
- on them.
You're going to use it to kill
the palm woods' free Internet.
- That might actually work.
- Oh, no.
The Internet is down.
It can't be down!
No!
Please, calm down, everyone.
- We'll have the Internet
- back up shortly.
Don't leave me!
I hate teens!
1:00 P.M.
Check-in time.
Wait.
Where are all the girls?
- Well, there are no girls,
but that kid's kind of a looker.
- Nah.
- Too much hair.
What about backpack boy?
- Well, it's really beat up,
so he's either really smart
or very clumsy.
Both: Clumsy.
- Sorry for blowing
- you off earlier.
- I guess you can talk
- about boys.
- You got that right,
- girlfriend.
- ♪ Make it count,
play it straight ♪
- Well, that was horrifying.
- I actually thought
- she was getting better.
- Ehh.
- Ehh.
- I don't care
- what you guys think,
Because I am having fun.
And when the last time
any of you guys had fun?
- How are we supposed
- to have fun
- When a foreign army
- of boy bands
- Is about to invade
- our great land
And capture all our fans?
- Well, that is not
gonna happen,
because, uh,
this is america,
- and we invented
- the boy band!
- Right!
From the platters
to the Jackson 5
to new kids to backstreet
to you guys.
- Okay.
So what do we do?
- Well, I will tell you
what we're gonna do.
What are we gonna do?
- What are we...
- What do we do?
You... you... you... you do it
like nobody's around.
You dance and you sing
like no one is watching,
because that's what's
in your hearts.
- Keep going.
- You write songs because
that's what you love doing,
- not because you're trying
- to top Simon Cowell.
And you guys,
stop worrying
about cd and ticket sales
and remember why
you got into this:
To be together and to do
something you'll never forget.
- What about Griffin?
- I'll take care of Griffin.
- Huh.
- Well, I guess we didn't need
- a new manager.
- We just needed a momager.
- Ooh, looks like I walked
into a music video moment.
All: Yup!
- ♪ 'Cause you're laughing
- so hard tonight ♪
♪ Playing air guitar,
all right ♪
♪ At the top
of your lungs about ♪
♪ all our favorite songs
so loud ♪
♪ Get a little bit
rock 'n' roll ♪
- ♪ so throw your hands
- in the air ♪
- ♪ come on
- and make this count ♪
♪ Whoa, so put your hands
in the air ♪
- ♪ come on
- and waste no time ♪
♪ It doesn't really matter
if it's wrong or right ♪
♪ we can do it
like nobody's around ♪
♪ Get a little bit
rock 'n' roll ♪
- ♪ so throw your hands
- in the air ♪
- ♪ come on
- and make this count ♪
♪ Whoa, so put your hands
in the air ♪
- ♪ come on
- and waste no time ♪
- ♪ it doesn't really matter
- if it's wrong or right ♪
♪ We can do it
like nobody's around ♪
- Okay, you've convinced me.
- I don't want big time rush
- to surrender,
And I like the song.
- ♪ We can do it
- like nobody's around ♪
- ♪ we can do it
like nobody's around ♪
- ♪ we can do it
like nobody's around ♪
- All right,
that was Gustavo saying
we just added dates
in Portland, Phoenix,
- and an extra night
- in New York.
- All right!
- Perfect.
- Okay, now,
what about him?
- No, guys.
I'm fine.
- Yeah, well,
so is blondie Jones.
- Huh.
- Guys, we don't need
to talk about boys.
- We know, but who better
- to talk about them than boys?
- Ah, ah!
- You're right.
- Okay, okay, all right.
What about blue shirt boy?
- Looks like your type.
- Hey, there's one!
- Look at... come here!
- Come here!
You in the ugly shorts!
- Yo, ugly shorts!
- Over here!
- Ugly shorts!
- ♪ Step it up,
- get in gear ♪
- ♪ go for broke,
- make it clear ♪
- ♪ make it work,
- get it right ♪
♪ Go and make your luck
with the life you choose ♪
♪ if you want it all,
lay it on the line ♪
♪ it's the only life you got
so you got to live it big time ♪
- It could wipe out
- everything we know.
- You know
- it's a spitball fight,
Not an alien invasion.
- Can I just play
- the way I want to?
- Fine.
- Now see if you can spot
- the enemy.
- They're in the lobby.
- This year's gonna be great.
We're recording our third album,
I have cooler hair,
- and we're about to announce
- our huge summer tour.
- Yup!
- As long as we all
- stick together,
Nothing can stop
big time rush.
Now let's destroy Carlos.
- Give me your straw.
- Gross!
- What are you gonna do with it?
- I'm gonna save
- this lost planet
- With an action-movie-cool
- slide move thing.
Stop! Stop! Stop!
- Both:
- Gustavo's gonna kill him!
- With one direction,
- the wanted,
- And three new boy bands crossing
- the Atlantic
With hot new albums
and huge U.S. summer tours.
It's a new British invasion
that will surely leave American
boy band big time rush
in the dust.
Or should I say big time who?
- ♪ Make it count,
- play it straight ♪
- ♪ don't look back,
- don't hesitate ♪
- ♪ what you want,
- what you feel ♪
- ♪ never quit
- and make it real ♪
♪ If you want it all,
lay it on the line ♪
♪ it's the only life you got
so you got to live it big time ♪
- ♪ Make it count,
play it straight ♪
♪ don't look back,
don't hesitate ♪
Why aren't you guys
at the studio?
- Both:
- We're being invaded!
- And nice dance sort of.
- I wasn't dancing.
I'm cleaning.
And now i'm... I'm cleaning
the back hallway.
- Enough with the spitballs.
- The British
- are not actually invading.
- Oh, really?
- Have you seen this month's
- pop tiger?
We're nowhere on the cover,
- and besides one "d"
- and the wanted,
Look who else is invading
our great land:
Hair 3,
colorful pants.
Don't forget Simon Cowell's
next boy band.
- Don't panic.
We are in here.
Here's Logan's adorable
"call me" poster.
- It's cute.
- And James,
who will work for hugs.
- I will!
- Okay, so that's 2 of ours
to 18 of theirs.
How did this happen?
- Simon Cowell.
He manages all of these bands
and has an army helping him.
- Gustavo, on the other hand,
- does everything himself.
For a man his size,
he's spread very thin.
- We need a new manager.
Katie, be our new manager.
- Can't.
Monthly leases ended yesterday,
and I am going downstairs to see
if any girls my age moved in.
I love you guys,
- but you're not girls
- who I can talk about boys with.
- Huh!
We can talk about boys.
- Yeah.
- And we do not need
- a new manager.
- But statistics do show
- new managers reinvigorate
- lagging companies.
- Smart talk.
- And it looks like
- you're outnumbered.
- Tell him where you stand,
- invasion buddy of mine.
- I'm on this side.
- Oh, you just made
- a big mistake.
Huh!
- Okay, I don't know
what we're doing here.
- We are going back
to rocque records
to see how Gustavo,
our manager,
plans on handling
this invasion.
- Hey.
- You guys want to go
- to the pool?
- Not a good time, ladies!
- Trying to stop
- an invasion here!
- As one "d" and the wanted
- launch their summer tours
In Boston and Atlanta,
we will launch ours in D.C.,
thus protecting the capitol.
- But the next night,
they advance to Richmond
and Baltimore.
- So we fall back
to Kansas City.
- But that's when hair 3,
colorful pants...
- And s.C.N.B.B. Start
their tours.
- Then all of the bands move
into the interior cities...
- Which means...
- You're surrounded.
- Are you here to help us
- or make us feel bad?
- Yes.
And the American-British
music rivalry is nothing new.
- When the Beatles invaded
- in the '60s,
They wiped out Elvis
and the American rock scene.
So we retaliated
with the dance sounds of disco.
- Then they launched
- a new wave offensive
- That washed away
- our dance rebellion
And rendered
all my white suits useless.
But grunge brought america back.
- And although their angst-filled
- lyrics made me sad,
It made me money.
- Right, so you want us
- to fight off the invasion
With everything we've got.
- Close.
I want you to surrender.
- It's time to ditch
- the boy bands
And find music's next big thing.
We can't surrender.
- Sure you can.
Just wave these.
- From now on, this studio
- and its resources
Will be used solely to find
the next wave of music.
Sorry, boys.
It's over.
It's been fun,
but it's over.
- We're not waving these!
- You are!
- I can fix this.
I'm a mega songwriter,
producer, and manager.
I'm a triple threat!
- Or maybe you're spread
- too thin.
- What?
- Maybe we need a new manager...
With fresh ideas that
invigorates things and stuff.
- Oh, okay, yeah.
You know what?
You guys go out
and find a new manager
- that'll bring some fresh ideas
- to the band
- To help defeat
- the British invasion.
- You don't have a problem
- with that?
- I have a big problem
with that!
Enjoy your new manager,
because I quit!
- Okay...
- Oh...
- Guys!
- He did say to go out
and find a new manager.
- Not the way
- you're thinking it!
- Hey, Katie, I got to take out
a wasps' nest.
Do you want to shoot off a can?
- This stuff sprays, like,
- 30 feet.
- No, thanks.
I'm about to meet my future bff.
- And no offense,
- but it's time for me
- To start hanging out with girls
- and talk about boys,
Not wasps.
- Oh.
Well, okay.
- I'll see you later,
- I guess.
- Check-in time.
Bring on the bffs.
[Indistinct chatter
[and cell phones ringing]
Who are all these guys
and where are my potential bffs?
- These are businessmen,
- because I am turning
- the palm woods
Into a business residence.
No more pool parties,
t.p.'d palm trees,
and no more headaches.
Here's your free Wi-Fi password,
your complimentary
continental breakfast,
and hot water is
in the bathroom.
Have a palm woods day.
- I just do not think
- we need a new manager.
- Alan sharp was the force
- behind america's
- greatest boy bands,
From new kids
to backstreet to 'nsync.
- We don't need help.
I am prepared to fight
this invasion on my own.
- Is that a ten straw?
- Try 12.
- Okay, we will meet with him.
But remember,
this is not a real invasion.
- Gentlemen,
this is an invasion,
and it is real.
These British boy bands are
like a hot boy bomb,
and they're coming
to blow you off the map
- unless you got
- a more powerful weapon like me,
Alan sharp.
Would you like a tiny water?
- Little sparkly,
- not too hard on the tummy.
- Oh, it's just that Gustavo's
the only manager
that we've ever known.
- Yeah, and we're reluctant
to rush into anything.
- You sign with me today,
I will unleash a barrage:
TV appearances,
viral videos,
moon advertising
that'll rocket big time rush
back to the top.
- I'm ready to fight
- for you, fellas.
Question is,
are you ready to fight
- for the life
- of the American boy band?
[Indistinct chatter
[and cell phones ringing]
- Come on, come on, come on.
I need your help.
- Ohh.
- I thought you didn't want
- to hang out anymore,
'cause I can't talk about boys,
which I totally can.
- This is not the time for that,
- 'cause the palm woods
- has been invaded.
Invaded?
- What is it?
- Wasps?
Rodents?
Businessmen.
- No!
- No ax.
- Okay, so all we have to do
is sign right here
and big time rush has
a new manager.
- Not so sure.
- I don't know.
- What?
Getting a new manager
was your idea.
- The water was very tiny.
- You said sharp was the best
- in the business,
And look around you.
- I don't see anybody else
- riding up on a white horse
Trying to save us
from the invasion.
- Did you say "horse"
or "horsche"?
- Well, well.
If it isn't big time rush,
American boy band about
to be destroyed by the brits.
Let me guess:
- You just met with
- a past-his-prime manager
Whose only solutions for you
were TV spots
and moon advertising?
- He was a bit vague.
- Allow me to give you
- some specifics.
One sold-out summer tour,
- two sports cars
- for each of you
In case one gets dirty,
$3 million advance
for your next cd,
and four guys whose dreams
all came true because of me,
Mitchell gold.
Here's my card.
Call me if you need me.
And you do.
- Can you believe that guy?
Both: You mean our new manager?
- What?
- No, he's not.
Both: Yes, he is.
- Both:
- We're going with sharp.
- Oh, well, we're going
- with big-water guy.
- Well, I don't like
- the big bottle...
- I'm so tired of this...
- We want to get
- to the top, okay?
- You've got to stop doing that!
- Uh, walking into the apartment
while you dance weirdly?
- I'm cleaning.
- And why are you
- all standing there like that
Separated
with your arms folded?
Are you fighting?
- We are fighting
a British invasion,
and they're doing it wrong.
- No, we're doing it right.
- Yeah.
Oh, our new manager
just got us
- on the daily show
- With Jon Stewart.
- Ah!
- I want to be on that show.
He would love me.
- Well, you can't,
and he wouldn't.
- Ohh, look at that.
- Our new manager just landed us
- featured vocals
On a new Gavin degraw single.
Ha!
- We are going to be singing
- the national anthem
At Dodgers stadium.
- Saturday top 40.
- Pop tiger cover shoot.
- Are those 12 straws?
Both: 16.
- Don't!
- You guys know you can't fight
- a British invasion
If you're having a civil war.
- Hey.
- Can you guys hit the pool now?
- Not a good time, ladies.
- Fighting a civil war here.
- Ugh!
- Don't follow us.
- You don't follow us.
- [Indistinct chatter
- and cell phones ringing]
- I figure each businessman
- we get rid of
Equals one potential bff
I can talk about boys to.
I can talk about boys.
- Stop it.
- Now, if there's one thing
- businessmen hate,
It's annoying kids.
So I'm gonna play
a little dodgeball in the hall.
- But look at 'em.
- They travel in large packs.
- [Indistinct chatter
- and cell phones ringing]
They might not even notice.
- Keep quiet.
- I've got to get closer.
Darn it!
- This is the daily show
with Jon Stewart.
- Welcome to the daily show.
- My name is Jon Stewart.
Tonight, big show
with a big-time visit
from big time rush.
About an hour or so ago...
- Hey, guys, I got here
- as fast as I could.
- Good.
- Now get them off the show.
- I can't do that.
- They're not my clients.
- Well, then, sue them,
- 'cause this makes us look bad.
And I never look bad.
- Don't worry.
- You're going to sound great
- featured on that hot new single,
So come on, let's go.
- Not yet.
- From big time rush,
please welcome Kendall
and Carlos.
- Uh...
Big time rush, everybody.
We'll be right back.
- Thanks, Gavin.
- I think this song
- is gonna be huge.
- Quiet, Mitch.
- Right.
Quieting down.
- Okay, guys, when you sing,
- I want you to imagine
A cool breeze, okay,
just blowing in your face.
One, two.
One, two, three.
- Ah!
- Not the face!
- I will have revenge!
- That was terrible.
Somebody call colorful pants.
- And now singing
our national anthem,
from big time rush,
Kendall and Carlos.
Both:
- I hate you!
- Hey, everyone, it's Logan
- and James from big time rush,
And we are guest-hosting
Saturday top 40.
Coming up next is
a brand-new hit from... oh, no.
- He started it!
- Put them on the floor!
- He started it!
- Okay, all right,
that is enough!
- We booked so many great jobs
- for you guys...
- And you ruined them all.
- Yeah, well, I'm not so sure
- you're managing us very well.
- Managing you?
I want to destroy you.
- Okay, we're sorry.
- No, no, no.
- You are not sorry.
You are an idiot.
- You forgot to say "pretty".
He's a pretty idiot.
- Thank you.
- Look at yourselves.
- You're has-beens
- before you're even 20.
- Okay.
That's a little harsh.
- Your careers are over.
Well...
In that case...
You're fired.
- You've got a lot of nerve!
- Heard you on the radio
this morning.
And it was really bad.
- Before you say anything,
we just fired our managers.
- I'm surprised
- they lasted this long.
- So what do we do now?
- I don't know!
I'm scared!
- This is bad.
- I posted online that the rooms
- would be available at 1:00,
- But the businessmen
- are still here.
- Well, haunting their rooms
- didn't work,
- And neither does
- the wasp spray.
- Then there's only one thing
- left to do.
- Hey, I thought you said
- no axes.
- I'm not gonna use it
- on them.
You're going to use it to kill
the palm woods' free Internet.
- That might actually work.
- Oh, no.
The Internet is down.
It can't be down!
No!
Please, calm down, everyone.
- We'll have the Internet
- back up shortly.
Don't leave me!
I hate teens!
1:00 P.M.
Check-in time.
Wait.
Where are all the girls?
- Well, there are no girls,
but that kid's kind of a looker.
- Nah.
- Too much hair.
What about backpack boy?
- Well, it's really beat up,
so he's either really smart
or very clumsy.
Both: Clumsy.
- Sorry for blowing
- you off earlier.
- I guess you can talk
- about boys.
- You got that right,
- girlfriend.
- ♪ Make it count,
play it straight ♪
- Well, that was horrifying.
- I actually thought
- she was getting better.
- Ehh.
- Ehh.
- I don't care
- what you guys think,
Because I am having fun.
And when the last time
any of you guys had fun?
- How are we supposed
- to have fun
- When a foreign army
- of boy bands
- Is about to invade
- our great land
And capture all our fans?
- Well, that is not
gonna happen,
because, uh,
this is america,
- and we invented
- the boy band!
- Right!
From the platters
to the Jackson 5
to new kids to backstreet
to you guys.
- Okay.
So what do we do?
- Well, I will tell you
what we're gonna do.
What are we gonna do?
- What are we...
- What do we do?
You... you... you... you do it
like nobody's around.
You dance and you sing
like no one is watching,
because that's what's
in your hearts.
- Keep going.
- You write songs because
that's what you love doing,
- not because you're trying
- to top Simon Cowell.
And you guys,
stop worrying
about cd and ticket sales
and remember why
you got into this:
To be together and to do
something you'll never forget.
- What about Griffin?
- I'll take care of Griffin.
- Huh.
- Well, I guess we didn't need
- a new manager.
- We just needed a momager.
- Ooh, looks like I walked
into a music video moment.
All: Yup!
- ♪ 'Cause you're laughing
- so hard tonight ♪
♪ Playing air guitar,
all right ♪
♪ At the top
of your lungs about ♪
♪ all our favorite songs
so loud ♪
♪ Get a little bit
rock 'n' roll ♪
- ♪ so throw your hands
- in the air ♪
- ♪ come on
- and make this count ♪
♪ Whoa, so put your hands
in the air ♪
- ♪ come on
- and waste no time ♪
♪ It doesn't really matter
if it's wrong or right ♪
♪ we can do it
like nobody's around ♪
♪ Get a little bit
rock 'n' roll ♪
- ♪ so throw your hands
- in the air ♪
- ♪ come on
- and make this count ♪
♪ Whoa, so put your hands
in the air ♪
- ♪ come on
- and waste no time ♪
- ♪ it doesn't really matter
- if it's wrong or right ♪
♪ We can do it
like nobody's around ♪
- Okay, you've convinced me.
- I don't want big time rush
- to surrender,
And I like the song.
- ♪ We can do it
- like nobody's around ♪
- ♪ we can do it
like nobody's around ♪
- ♪ we can do it
like nobody's around ♪
- All right,
that was Gustavo saying
we just added dates
in Portland, Phoenix,
- and an extra night
- in New York.
- All right!
- Perfect.
- Okay, now,
what about him?
- No, guys.
I'm fine.
- Yeah, well,
so is blondie Jones.
- Huh.
- Guys, we don't need
to talk about boys.
- We know, but who better
- to talk about them than boys?
- Ah, ah!
- You're right.
- Okay, okay, all right.
What about blue shirt boy?
- Looks like your type.
- Hey, there's one!
- Look at... come here!
- Come here!
You in the ugly shorts!
- Yo, ugly shorts!
- Over here!
- Ugly shorts!
- ♪ Step it up,
- get in gear ♪
- ♪ go for broke,
- make it clear ♪
- ♪ make it work,
- get it right ♪
♪ Go and make your luck
with the life you choose ♪
♪ if you want it all,
lay it on the line ♪
♪ it's the only life you got
so you got to live it big time ♪