Big Time Rush (2009–2013): Season 1, Episode 12 - Big Time Blogger - full transcript
Gustavo thinks it's time to build some hype around Big Time Rush and sets up an important interview with famous blogger Deke. Deke has been known to make or break a career, so the guys must get this right.
Kelly!
What's with the cameras?
Gustavo wants you shoot some videos
for the future bit time rush website.
- Cool.
- Sweet.
So you future fans can get
to know the real you.
Now, get shooting, and get the
cameras back to me in the morning.
All right.
All right.
This is James from Big Time Rush.
Enjoy.
Hey, guys, what's up?
It's Carlos of Big Time Rush.
I'm gonna jump the pool
on my rocket skates.
Check it out.
Okay, here we go.
Three, two, one.
Auuuugh!
This is what I call
the hockey puck cam.
- # you want to be famous#
- # famous #
♪ you want to be the one
who's living the life♪
♪ you want to be famous♪
This is the lobby.
Oh, and those are the elevators.
You know.
- Hey, here are your videos.
- There you go.
Enjoy.
♪ ah, ah, ah-ah, oh ♪
Auuuugh!
♪ make it count, play it straight ♪
♪ don't look back, don't hesitate ♪
♪ when you go big time♪
♪ what you know, what you feel ♪
♪ never quitin', make it real ♪
♪ when you're going big time ♪
♪ oh-oh, oh-oh ♪
♪ hey, hey listen to your heart now ♪
♪ hey, hey don't you feel the rush ♪
- # oh-oh, oh-oh #
- # hey, hey #
♪ go and shake it up ♪
♪ whatcha gotta lose ♪
♪ go and make your luck ♪
♪ with the life you choose ♪
♪ if you want it all, lay it on the line ♪
♪ it's the only life you got
so you got to live it ♪
♪ big time ♪
Boys, our album comes
out in three months,
and given our recent web video disaster,
it's time for phase two
of my get Big Time Rush on the web
so people will know about you and
buy your album in three months.
Is that phase two under the sheet?
Guys, get ready, because today
Big Time Rush is spending...
... A day with Dek.
Hollywood's number one
entertainment music blogger.
Guys, Dak Zon was a nobody,
until he spent the day
ice fishing with Deke.
Then he became...
... "The reel deal."
And today it's Big Time Rush
at the famous Palmwoods pool.
Oh, nice.
Cool, so we just have to hang out
with this guy and be the real us.
No.
I don't want him
anywhere near the real you.
You'll just knock him into the pool
or slice off his arm
with a hockey stick.
'Cause that's bad, right?
Yes, because if you
have a bad day with Deke,
your careers could end up
like Tanyon Lavell's.
Who's Tanyon Lavell?
Exactly.
And now, I present to you
my day with Deke big time
dog training preparation team.
Change them.
Ahhhhhh!
Hogging our free Internet again?
I'm trying to create a blog.
Should I go political pundit,
or should I just post pictures
of small animals with big heads?
Don't care.
Ugh, look at those geniuses.
- She'll never make it to the door.
- She'll make it further than him.
Care to make a friendly bet?
Hah! You lose.
That doesn't mean
you're better than me.
Yeah, it does.
Boys, we've not only re created
the Palmwoods pool setting
for your day with Deke.
We've also re created Deke.
He's so tiny.
Please don't say that when you see him,
because it is very important
what he thinks of you.
- Got it?
- Got it.
Now, good luck with your training,
my young padawans.
It begins... now.
Boys, we've analyzed every
one of Deke's celebrity blogs
and have the questions
he's most likely to ask.
So let's get started.
Kendall, how would you
describe BTR's music?
Oh, um, I'd say it's
got some rock and...
Too long.
Deke wants juicy sound bites
he can sink his blog into.
Say, "Big Time Rush is a fun mix
of rock, pop, with a dash of R&B."
Logan, if you weren't in a band,
what would you be doing right now?
Studying to be a doctor.
Wrong.
Deke is gonna think you're geeky.
Say you'd rather be snowboarding.
- Snowboarding?
- Snowboarding.
Okay.
My lucky comb.
Yes.
No.
Maybe.
Antidisestablishmentarianism.
Apatosaurus?
Golden shoes.
Cheese sticks.
I'm getting a little frustrated here!
I was seven. I didn't
know what I was doing.
Would you stop it?
Violence.
Carlos, violence is never the answer.
The correct answer is seven.
Oh.
Okay, according to those answers,
we predict Deke will think
you're slightly more advanced
than cavemen who like corn dogs.
Ahh! We can do better.
Hey, we are way more
developed than cavemen,
cromagnon even.
And we like hot dogs too.
We're just four hockey
players who love singing,
and we cant' wait for people
to hear our first album.
Congratulations.
Deke now thinks big time
rush is four dedicated, smart,
and funloving guys who
share a passion for music.
And he's looking
forward to your album.
Yes!
Shouldn't we be helping the guys?
We are.
Welcome to phase three of
my big time Internet blitz.
I'm giving the guys
scuttlebutter accounts.
That way, they can text their fans what's
the haps, only they won't be posting.
It'll be me, because they are stupid.
Please don't do that.
It's easy.
I signed up too.
You just scuttbutt fun
facts about yourself.
"I hate brusselsprouts."
Done.
It's two words: Brussels sprouts.
All right, delete...
Delete, backspace,
and cut...
What just happened?
You just sent out a scuttbutt
saying you hate Brussels,
as in the capital of Belgium.
Ahhhh!
Who cares?
Phttthew!
Sacre bleu!
This record producer,
he says he hates Brussels.
And now for a true test of skill,
double or nothing.
It was a friendly bet.
It already is nothing, and
I'm trying to think up a blog here.
Follow the ball.
Follow the ball.
Where it goes, nobody knows.
Middle.
Wrong.
What?
Dude, you should get out... now.
Just walk away.
Seriously.
Boys, say hello to body
language expert to the stars,
Mr. Fong.
What's with the biscuits?
No pointing!
Deke will think you are accusing.
Offer a gentle smile instead.
Ow.
Deke thinks you are shallow
and only care about appearances.
Uh, is that bad?
Ouch!
Ow.
Never cross your arms!
Deke will think you are closed to him.
You want to be open.
Open, hehhehheh.
- Better.
- Ohhhh.
No slouching!
Ahhhh!
Show me.
Deke thinks you are... engaged.
He thinks you are... cool.
Eclectic!
Smoking hot!
Now you are ready for
your day with deke.
Oh, yes!
Ohhhh!
What? Fong is hungry.
Boys, this is a test you cannot fail.
You need to make this a day
deke will never forget.
What he thinks is what is.
And remember, our album
comes out in three months,
and the web is a powerful tool
that can take BTR right to the top,
and deke is a powerful man.
So you guys are Big Time Rush.
You're so tiny.
Yeah, we're Big Time Rush.
So how would you
describe BTR's music?
Big time rush is a fun mix of
rock, pop, with a dash of R&B.
What would you be doing
if you weren't in a pop band?
Um... snowboardin'.
It's kind of my thing.
Oh, yes.
You know, half pipe.
And who are you?
Me?
I'm James.
I love the web, web, web, web.
Right now the boys
are winning over deke,
and thanks to scuttlebutter,
I'm getting the big time word
out all over the world.
Why are you on TV?
Gustavo Rocque is back in the news
for sparking outrage in Belgium.
After posting on scuttlebutter
that he hates Brussels,
Belgian Americans in L.A.'s little Antwerp,
are burning his records and
boycotting his latest project:
Big time rush.
Ahhhhh!
Okay, done.
Wait, what?
That's it?
"Big time rush is just another band
"forcefed upon us
by the music industry.
"From the blogger that
only writes the truth,
"it's clear they are full
of rehearsed sound bites,
choreographed body language,
and no real substance."
Ahh!
"I suspect their words, hair, wardrobe,
"and singing is done for them.
Don't buy their album."
Bye.
Well, training didn't work.
It's time for plan b,
as in be ourselves.
Come on. Get him. Get him.
Wait, deke. Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.
We're sorry. That wasn't us out there.
Just give us a second chance.
And you can't leave yet.
It's "a day with deke."
Yeah, not "five minutes with deke."
My blog seeks the truth,
and the truth here is,
you're nothing but
overdressed corporate potbots.
Ahh!
Now, I am going back to
the coffee shop to proof this
and then post it to my blog
and tell everyone
that Big Time Rush
is a big waste of time.
Hey. James.
What was that?
Plan c?
Ohohohohhh.
Okay, we disconnected
the Palmwoods' WiFi
so deke can't post his blog from here.
Ehhh.
We also disconnected
the cable TV, telephone,
airconditioning, and
all the garden hoses...
Just in case.
You can't stop the truth.
Look, if you just agree to spend the rest
of the day with us like you promised...
And let us prove we're not phonies...
We'll let you out.
Okay.
- I will.
- Huh.
Ahh.
Ahhhh!
As soon as I get Internet access,
you guys are big time finished!
Well, let's look on the bright side.
This is definitely a day
deke will never forget.
Yup.
The game: Air hockey.
The rules: First one to score wins...
Double or nothing.
Double of nothing is nothing,
and what do you think
about a travel blog,
like, "don't stay at the Palmwoods,
because the manager's nuts"?
WiFi is down.
Besides, sounds like somebody's scared.
Oh, just give me a paddle.
Sometime today.
Okay.
Ted Garcia outside of Rocque records,
where Belgian protesters
numbering in the double digits
are striking back against antibelgianism.
It was a typo!
Don't worry.
Belgians tend to get tired quickly,
then go home and make waffles.
They're a peace loving
and gentle people...
And now joining the protest
is very buff and violent
Hollywood action star
Jeanluc Varn Darn.
Except for that guy.
Gustavo, I am coming for you.
Argh!
Auuuugh!
Send.
Look, we just want a chance
to change the way you think about us.
Fine, I'll interview
you through the door.
Yes! Whoo!
What made you decide to come to L.A.?
Um, well, we didn't really plan on this,
but when amazing opportunities come,
you have to...
Could someone elaborate on that?
Sure, well, it was my
dream to be a pop star,
but my buds helped me
get to the audition...
Where do you see yourself in 20...
Oh, no! His battery died!
Wait, wait.
What? Wait, what?
He's in the ducts!
Auuugh!
All I have to do is find
a hardwired computer,
and expose the big time truth.
Yeah, well, the
truth is, we do so sing.
Observe.
All:# c, c, c, c#
not bad, but I will destroy you.
Go, go, go, go!
I feel so spiny, and,
man, it's hot in here.
Do you want some water?
Do you have sparkling?
One second.
He's coming.
Hey, catch.
Thanks.
Ahh, later, losers.
What? Wait.
Ohh, ahhhh!
Ow!
So, um, what are we looking at here?
False imprisonment,
involuntary manhunting.
I would say at least 100
hours' community service.
Ouch.
Is he going back up?
Ahhh.
That was kind of fun.
Whee!
- Which way did he slide?
- I don't know.
We can't lose him.
He thinks we're big time phonies.
Oh, he went that way.
That way. That way.
Where are you, Internet connection?
Jackpot.
Now I land in the chair, plug in,
and byebye, big time phonies.
Darn it!
Now, once they see a photo of you
enjoying Belgian waffles...
They'll forget everything,
and you'll be a national hero.
Wait, aren't Belgian waffles supposed
to be, you know, really thick?
Yeah...
And so are Belgians.
These aren't Belgian waffles.
These are frozen toaster waffles!
Get him!
I decided I hate the web.
Gustavo Rocque,
you have insulted Belgium
for the last time.
Wait!
I'll hold them off.
Run!
Get them!
Life's funny, you know?
One day you're hockey players.
Then you're a pop band.
Then blognappers.
Why does he think we're phonies, hmm?
He should like us.
Why would he like us?
Because I've got to be honest:
I don't like us right now.
Worse than that,
since when did we start caring
about what people think about us?
It's what we think about
ourselves that matters.
I think we might have let the
marketers put words in our mouths.
I think Mr. Fong's biscuits may
have caused temporary insanity.
Ho ho, finally a true statement.
And do you guys realize we never
even questioned these outfits?
I think... we look good.
It's a little overdone.
Quiet, you.
We are not four hockey players
from Minnesota anymore.
We are four Anakins who
went to the dark side.
Ow!
So what do we do?
You're letting me go?
Come on.
Watch it. Easy.
- You're good.
- Okay.
And the truth is, with
our album coming out soon,
there's a lot of pressure,
and it kind of got to us.
We hope you can forgive us.
And we hope you don't press charges.
Wow, you've really given me
something to think about...
Right after I post my blog about
how I was locked in a closet,
tackled, chased through ducts,
and trapped in a garbage can.
Bye.
Hey, you never know.
Maybe he'll get hit by a bus
on the way to his coffee shop.
Ohhh, so close!
Let's go, triple or nothing, anything.
I can't lose to a ten-year-old girl.
Fine, and this one's
for all the marbles,
marbles representing nothing, of course.
Got it.
Now, you stand in front of this bucket.
I bet that I can throw
these water balloons
into that bucket and
not get a drop on you.
Ha!
Impossible.
You're on.
Aha!
I win!
Whoohoohoo!
I win. I win. I win.
You lose.
You didn't even get one
balloon in the bucket.
I know, but this morning,
I bet a bunch of kids 20 bucks
that I could pelt you with balloons,
and you'd cheer.
I'm gonna use it to
finance my advice blog:
Smart.
Say, can you lend me $20
to get some dry cleaning?
Keep it.
Well, looks like Gustavo
had a good day too.
Boys, I have a feeling your album's
not gonna sell very well in Belgium.
Yeah, about the album...
Your day with deke!
Gustavo, before you read the blog...
Shh. Ahahah.
"The big time truth:
"After lies about snowboarding,
corporatewritten sound bites,
"and being locked in a supply closet,
"I knew within my first five minutes
that Big Time Rush
were big time phonies."
You locked him in a supply closet?
Yep.
"But", hey!
"The rest of my day was literally...
A Big Time Rush."
"And not just because of 20foothigh
heating duct slides, garbage can rides,
and sparkling water
delivered upon request..."
"But in discovering
that Big Time Rush
"are four dedicated, smart,
and funloving guys
who share a passion for music and life."
"My day with Big Time Rush
is one I'll never forget."
"And I'm looking forward
to hearing their new album."
Yeah! Yes! Whoohoo!
Okay, okay, now that my dogs
have crushed phase two
of our big time web attack,
let's go back to phase one
and make some web videos
for the Big Time Rush website.
And this time, try not
to break the cameras.
Got it.
Hey, what's up, guys?
Big time rush here.
Yeah, and this is what it's like
sliding down the Palmwoods air duct.
Check it.
Whooooa!
What's with the cameras?
Gustavo wants you shoot some videos
for the future bit time rush website.
- Cool.
- Sweet.
So you future fans can get
to know the real you.
Now, get shooting, and get the
cameras back to me in the morning.
All right.
All right.
This is James from Big Time Rush.
Enjoy.
Hey, guys, what's up?
It's Carlos of Big Time Rush.
I'm gonna jump the pool
on my rocket skates.
Check it out.
Okay, here we go.
Three, two, one.
Auuuugh!
This is what I call
the hockey puck cam.
- # you want to be famous#
- # famous #
♪ you want to be the one
who's living the life♪
♪ you want to be famous♪
This is the lobby.
Oh, and those are the elevators.
You know.
- Hey, here are your videos.
- There you go.
Enjoy.
♪ ah, ah, ah-ah, oh ♪
Auuuugh!
♪ make it count, play it straight ♪
♪ don't look back, don't hesitate ♪
♪ when you go big time♪
♪ what you know, what you feel ♪
♪ never quitin', make it real ♪
♪ when you're going big time ♪
♪ oh-oh, oh-oh ♪
♪ hey, hey listen to your heart now ♪
♪ hey, hey don't you feel the rush ♪
- # oh-oh, oh-oh #
- # hey, hey #
♪ go and shake it up ♪
♪ whatcha gotta lose ♪
♪ go and make your luck ♪
♪ with the life you choose ♪
♪ if you want it all, lay it on the line ♪
♪ it's the only life you got
so you got to live it ♪
♪ big time ♪
Boys, our album comes
out in three months,
and given our recent web video disaster,
it's time for phase two
of my get Big Time Rush on the web
so people will know about you and
buy your album in three months.
Is that phase two under the sheet?
Guys, get ready, because today
Big Time Rush is spending...
... A day with Dek.
Hollywood's number one
entertainment music blogger.
Guys, Dak Zon was a nobody,
until he spent the day
ice fishing with Deke.
Then he became...
... "The reel deal."
And today it's Big Time Rush
at the famous Palmwoods pool.
Oh, nice.
Cool, so we just have to hang out
with this guy and be the real us.
No.
I don't want him
anywhere near the real you.
You'll just knock him into the pool
or slice off his arm
with a hockey stick.
'Cause that's bad, right?
Yes, because if you
have a bad day with Deke,
your careers could end up
like Tanyon Lavell's.
Who's Tanyon Lavell?
Exactly.
And now, I present to you
my day with Deke big time
dog training preparation team.
Change them.
Ahhhhhh!
Hogging our free Internet again?
I'm trying to create a blog.
Should I go political pundit,
or should I just post pictures
of small animals with big heads?
Don't care.
Ugh, look at those geniuses.
- She'll never make it to the door.
- She'll make it further than him.
Care to make a friendly bet?
Hah! You lose.
That doesn't mean
you're better than me.
Yeah, it does.
Boys, we've not only re created
the Palmwoods pool setting
for your day with Deke.
We've also re created Deke.
He's so tiny.
Please don't say that when you see him,
because it is very important
what he thinks of you.
- Got it?
- Got it.
Now, good luck with your training,
my young padawans.
It begins... now.
Boys, we've analyzed every
one of Deke's celebrity blogs
and have the questions
he's most likely to ask.
So let's get started.
Kendall, how would you
describe BTR's music?
Oh, um, I'd say it's
got some rock and...
Too long.
Deke wants juicy sound bites
he can sink his blog into.
Say, "Big Time Rush is a fun mix
of rock, pop, with a dash of R&B."
Logan, if you weren't in a band,
what would you be doing right now?
Studying to be a doctor.
Wrong.
Deke is gonna think you're geeky.
Say you'd rather be snowboarding.
- Snowboarding?
- Snowboarding.
Okay.
My lucky comb.
Yes.
No.
Maybe.
Antidisestablishmentarianism.
Apatosaurus?
Golden shoes.
Cheese sticks.
I'm getting a little frustrated here!
I was seven. I didn't
know what I was doing.
Would you stop it?
Violence.
Carlos, violence is never the answer.
The correct answer is seven.
Oh.
Okay, according to those answers,
we predict Deke will think
you're slightly more advanced
than cavemen who like corn dogs.
Ahh! We can do better.
Hey, we are way more
developed than cavemen,
cromagnon even.
And we like hot dogs too.
We're just four hockey
players who love singing,
and we cant' wait for people
to hear our first album.
Congratulations.
Deke now thinks big time
rush is four dedicated, smart,
and funloving guys who
share a passion for music.
And he's looking
forward to your album.
Yes!
Shouldn't we be helping the guys?
We are.
Welcome to phase three of
my big time Internet blitz.
I'm giving the guys
scuttlebutter accounts.
That way, they can text their fans what's
the haps, only they won't be posting.
It'll be me, because they are stupid.
Please don't do that.
It's easy.
I signed up too.
You just scuttbutt fun
facts about yourself.
"I hate brusselsprouts."
Done.
It's two words: Brussels sprouts.
All right, delete...
Delete, backspace,
and cut...
What just happened?
You just sent out a scuttbutt
saying you hate Brussels,
as in the capital of Belgium.
Ahhhh!
Who cares?
Phttthew!
Sacre bleu!
This record producer,
he says he hates Brussels.
And now for a true test of skill,
double or nothing.
It was a friendly bet.
It already is nothing, and
I'm trying to think up a blog here.
Follow the ball.
Follow the ball.
Where it goes, nobody knows.
Middle.
Wrong.
What?
Dude, you should get out... now.
Just walk away.
Seriously.
Boys, say hello to body
language expert to the stars,
Mr. Fong.
What's with the biscuits?
No pointing!
Deke will think you are accusing.
Offer a gentle smile instead.
Ow.
Deke thinks you are shallow
and only care about appearances.
Uh, is that bad?
Ouch!
Ow.
Never cross your arms!
Deke will think you are closed to him.
You want to be open.
Open, hehhehheh.
- Better.
- Ohhhh.
No slouching!
Ahhhh!
Show me.
Deke thinks you are... engaged.
He thinks you are... cool.
Eclectic!
Smoking hot!
Now you are ready for
your day with deke.
Oh, yes!
Ohhhh!
What? Fong is hungry.
Boys, this is a test you cannot fail.
You need to make this a day
deke will never forget.
What he thinks is what is.
And remember, our album
comes out in three months,
and the web is a powerful tool
that can take BTR right to the top,
and deke is a powerful man.
So you guys are Big Time Rush.
You're so tiny.
Yeah, we're Big Time Rush.
So how would you
describe BTR's music?
Big time rush is a fun mix of
rock, pop, with a dash of R&B.
What would you be doing
if you weren't in a pop band?
Um... snowboardin'.
It's kind of my thing.
Oh, yes.
You know, half pipe.
And who are you?
Me?
I'm James.
I love the web, web, web, web.
Right now the boys
are winning over deke,
and thanks to scuttlebutter,
I'm getting the big time word
out all over the world.
Why are you on TV?
Gustavo Rocque is back in the news
for sparking outrage in Belgium.
After posting on scuttlebutter
that he hates Brussels,
Belgian Americans in L.A.'s little Antwerp,
are burning his records and
boycotting his latest project:
Big time rush.
Ahhhhh!
Okay, done.
Wait, what?
That's it?
"Big time rush is just another band
"forcefed upon us
by the music industry.
"From the blogger that
only writes the truth,
"it's clear they are full
of rehearsed sound bites,
choreographed body language,
and no real substance."
Ahh!
"I suspect their words, hair, wardrobe,
"and singing is done for them.
Don't buy their album."
Bye.
Well, training didn't work.
It's time for plan b,
as in be ourselves.
Come on. Get him. Get him.
Wait, deke. Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait.
We're sorry. That wasn't us out there.
Just give us a second chance.
And you can't leave yet.
It's "a day with deke."
Yeah, not "five minutes with deke."
My blog seeks the truth,
and the truth here is,
you're nothing but
overdressed corporate potbots.
Ahh!
Now, I am going back to
the coffee shop to proof this
and then post it to my blog
and tell everyone
that Big Time Rush
is a big waste of time.
Hey. James.
What was that?
Plan c?
Ohohohohhh.
Okay, we disconnected
the Palmwoods' WiFi
so deke can't post his blog from here.
Ehhh.
We also disconnected
the cable TV, telephone,
airconditioning, and
all the garden hoses...
Just in case.
You can't stop the truth.
Look, if you just agree to spend the rest
of the day with us like you promised...
And let us prove we're not phonies...
We'll let you out.
Okay.
- I will.
- Huh.
Ahh.
Ahhhh!
As soon as I get Internet access,
you guys are big time finished!
Well, let's look on the bright side.
This is definitely a day
deke will never forget.
Yup.
The game: Air hockey.
The rules: First one to score wins...
Double or nothing.
Double of nothing is nothing,
and what do you think
about a travel blog,
like, "don't stay at the Palmwoods,
because the manager's nuts"?
WiFi is down.
Besides, sounds like somebody's scared.
Oh, just give me a paddle.
Sometime today.
Okay.
Ted Garcia outside of Rocque records,
where Belgian protesters
numbering in the double digits
are striking back against antibelgianism.
It was a typo!
Don't worry.
Belgians tend to get tired quickly,
then go home and make waffles.
They're a peace loving
and gentle people...
And now joining the protest
is very buff and violent
Hollywood action star
Jeanluc Varn Darn.
Except for that guy.
Gustavo, I am coming for you.
Argh!
Auuuugh!
Send.
Look, we just want a chance
to change the way you think about us.
Fine, I'll interview
you through the door.
Yes! Whoo!
What made you decide to come to L.A.?
Um, well, we didn't really plan on this,
but when amazing opportunities come,
you have to...
Could someone elaborate on that?
Sure, well, it was my
dream to be a pop star,
but my buds helped me
get to the audition...
Where do you see yourself in 20...
Oh, no! His battery died!
Wait, wait.
What? Wait, what?
He's in the ducts!
Auuugh!
All I have to do is find
a hardwired computer,
and expose the big time truth.
Yeah, well, the
truth is, we do so sing.
Observe.
All:# c, c, c, c#
not bad, but I will destroy you.
Go, go, go, go!
I feel so spiny, and,
man, it's hot in here.
Do you want some water?
Do you have sparkling?
One second.
He's coming.
Hey, catch.
Thanks.
Ahh, later, losers.
What? Wait.
Ohh, ahhhh!
Ow!
So, um, what are we looking at here?
False imprisonment,
involuntary manhunting.
I would say at least 100
hours' community service.
Ouch.
Is he going back up?
Ahhh.
That was kind of fun.
Whee!
- Which way did he slide?
- I don't know.
We can't lose him.
He thinks we're big time phonies.
Oh, he went that way.
That way. That way.
Where are you, Internet connection?
Jackpot.
Now I land in the chair, plug in,
and byebye, big time phonies.
Darn it!
Now, once they see a photo of you
enjoying Belgian waffles...
They'll forget everything,
and you'll be a national hero.
Wait, aren't Belgian waffles supposed
to be, you know, really thick?
Yeah...
And so are Belgians.
These aren't Belgian waffles.
These are frozen toaster waffles!
Get him!
I decided I hate the web.
Gustavo Rocque,
you have insulted Belgium
for the last time.
Wait!
I'll hold them off.
Run!
Get them!
Life's funny, you know?
One day you're hockey players.
Then you're a pop band.
Then blognappers.
Why does he think we're phonies, hmm?
He should like us.
Why would he like us?
Because I've got to be honest:
I don't like us right now.
Worse than that,
since when did we start caring
about what people think about us?
It's what we think about
ourselves that matters.
I think we might have let the
marketers put words in our mouths.
I think Mr. Fong's biscuits may
have caused temporary insanity.
Ho ho, finally a true statement.
And do you guys realize we never
even questioned these outfits?
I think... we look good.
It's a little overdone.
Quiet, you.
We are not four hockey players
from Minnesota anymore.
We are four Anakins who
went to the dark side.
Ow!
So what do we do?
You're letting me go?
Come on.
Watch it. Easy.
- You're good.
- Okay.
And the truth is, with
our album coming out soon,
there's a lot of pressure,
and it kind of got to us.
We hope you can forgive us.
And we hope you don't press charges.
Wow, you've really given me
something to think about...
Right after I post my blog about
how I was locked in a closet,
tackled, chased through ducts,
and trapped in a garbage can.
Bye.
Hey, you never know.
Maybe he'll get hit by a bus
on the way to his coffee shop.
Ohhh, so close!
Let's go, triple or nothing, anything.
I can't lose to a ten-year-old girl.
Fine, and this one's
for all the marbles,
marbles representing nothing, of course.
Got it.
Now, you stand in front of this bucket.
I bet that I can throw
these water balloons
into that bucket and
not get a drop on you.
Ha!
Impossible.
You're on.
Aha!
I win!
Whoohoohoo!
I win. I win. I win.
You lose.
You didn't even get one
balloon in the bucket.
I know, but this morning,
I bet a bunch of kids 20 bucks
that I could pelt you with balloons,
and you'd cheer.
I'm gonna use it to
finance my advice blog:
Smart.
Say, can you lend me $20
to get some dry cleaning?
Keep it.
Well, looks like Gustavo
had a good day too.
Boys, I have a feeling your album's
not gonna sell very well in Belgium.
Yeah, about the album...
Your day with deke!
Gustavo, before you read the blog...
Shh. Ahahah.
"The big time truth:
"After lies about snowboarding,
corporatewritten sound bites,
"and being locked in a supply closet,
"I knew within my first five minutes
that Big Time Rush
were big time phonies."
You locked him in a supply closet?
Yep.
"But", hey!
"The rest of my day was literally...
A Big Time Rush."
"And not just because of 20foothigh
heating duct slides, garbage can rides,
and sparkling water
delivered upon request..."
"But in discovering
that Big Time Rush
"are four dedicated, smart,
and funloving guys
who share a passion for music and life."
"My day with Big Time Rush
is one I'll never forget."
"And I'm looking forward
to hearing their new album."
Yeah! Yes! Whoohoo!
Okay, okay, now that my dogs
have crushed phase two
of our big time web attack,
let's go back to phase one
and make some web videos
for the Big Time Rush website.
And this time, try not
to break the cameras.
Got it.
Hey, what's up, guys?
Big time rush here.
Yeah, and this is what it's like
sliding down the Palmwoods air duct.
Check it.
Whooooa!