Big City Greens (2018–…): Season 2, Episode 12 - Time Crisis/Gramma Driver - full transcript

When Remy finds himself unprepared for an important violin recital, he begins to worry about his future. The Greens get their first smartphones and Gramma signs up to be a ride-sharing driver, only to get pulled into a crime spree.

Well, family, I've been mulling

it over for 15 years now,

and I've decided
today is the day,

the Greens are
getting smartphones!

- Whoa-ho!
- What?!

Does this mean we're rich?

We are rich in... love.

And also there's a sale.

That's right!
Big Tech's new Fun Fons

are perfect for families.

These phones are
practically indestructible!

Lookin' at you, kid.

- [thunk]
- Ha!

Wowee! A phone for Tilly!

[female voice]
Hello, Tyler. I am Agatha.

How are you doing today?

Well, I'm doing just fine.

But I'm more worried
about you, Agatha.

How do you fit
in such a tiny device?

[gasps] Your essence is
imprisoned within this phone.

The temperature
outside is 72 degrees.

Don't worry, Agatha.

I promise I will free you!

Now what can old Cricket
get up to with this?

Ha ha! I know!

- [phone rings]
- Hello?

Hello! My name is Bill Green,

uh... Burgshire!
Heh heh, yeah.

And I would like
to order 91 lattes

delivered to 123 Stinky Street.

Wait a minute, is this Cricket?

Okay, thank you, goodbye!

Ha ha! Got her good.

[Bill] Wow, look
at all these li'l buttons.

- [ringing]
- Ooh, my first phone call!

- [beep]
- Hello?

[on speakerphone]
Hey, Mr. Green?

This is Jerry down
at the autobody.

Heh, speakerphone.

I'm just callin' to let
you know your car's ready.

You know,
the one your mom crashed?

What's this now?

Yeah, it's actually
been ready for a while.

This is like the tenth time
I've called you.

Okay, yes!
Have a lovely day, bye!

Heh heh, spam calls, right?

Bill Green, how could you?!

I went to all that trouble
to get my license back,

and now I find out you've
been keeping my car from me?

It's just... I still don't
know if I'm comfortable
with you driving.

Fool's words!
I'm an excellent driver!

Oh! Well,
if that's true,

you should drive for Swyft!

- Swyft? Whazzat?
- It's this!

Swyft is a smartphone app
where you can make money

by driving folks around,
and if you do well,

they'll leave you
a five-star rating!

I will do exactly that!

Get ready to eat
your words, Billy boy.

I'm off to prove
that I am an excellent driver.

- Uh, wait, hey!
- Jerry here!

Just letting you know you never
actually hung up the phone.

'Kay, thank you, Jerry!

[engine starts]

Ahhh... good
to have you back.

Now just gotta
sign up for Swyft.

- Hey, look at that.
- [chime]

Five stars, here I come.

Uh-huh, yeah.
Okay, my ride just got here.

Yeah, be there soon.

Oh. Actually, my driver's
this little old lady.

I'm gonna be late.

We'll see about that.

I, uh... Aaah!

Aah! Ohh! Aaah!

You need a mint or anything?

I got, uh,
wintergreen or cinnamon.

- Aaaah!
- What's wrong?

Did I miss a turn?

Yeah, these guys
think they own the road.

- [whimpering]
- So how long you
been in Big City?

- [screaming]
- Heh heh, yeah, I hear that.

- Aah! [panting]
- Have a good day!

And don't forget
to gimme five stars!


- [tires screech]
- Waaah!

- Whoa ho ho ho!
- [chimes]

- Wow.
- [screaming]

Heh, all in a day's work.

[whistling] Hm?


Hey, Gloria, get
any wacky orders today?

Oh, Cricket! Yeah,
a Mr. Greenburgshire called

and asked
for 91 piping hot lattes!

Can you believe it?

Wow, such a big order!

But I gotta go
on my mandatory break now,

so you have to fill it.

Ha! What?!
No, no, that's not what I--

They better be done
when I come back!

91 lattes. Huh.

Not a bad first day.

Now let's see all
those five-star ratings.

What?! One star?!

Was... Was Bill right?

Am I a bad driver?

Rats. Guess it's time
to play by the rules.

- [alarm ringing]
- [both laughing]

Coast is clear.

We can take off these disguises.

Nice crime back there, Bella.

The only thing I love
more than crime is you.

And the only thing
I love more than you, is us.

- [smooching]
- [getaway driver] C'mon, guys!

I'm sick and tired
of being your third wheel,

and literal wheels!
I'm out!

Our getaway got away!

Don't worry, babe,
I called a Swyft.

Ugh, I love your mind.

[Gramma] Pick up
for Bella and Bash?

[Bash] Yeah-huh.

Don't worry, folks,

I'll getcha where ya need to go.

Nice and slow.

- [police sirens]
- Listen, we don't care
how you do it.

- Just get us outta here!
- Drive, lady!

Wha-- Really?
Now you're talkin'!

[Bella and Bash] Whoa!

- Aah!
- Whoo hoo hoo!

- [Bella] This is fun!
- [Bash] Yeah!

- [Bella] Whoo!
- [horns honking]

Ha ha! Yeah!

- Oof!
- Oof!

Huh, not bad, old lady.

You just earned yourself
a five-star rating.

Wow! Thanks!

I knew I was a good driver!

You know, we actually
have a few more errands to run

and plenty of stars to give.

More stars?
Let's get started!

Still in there, Agatha?

[Agatha] I'm sorry,
Tammy, I didn't get that.

Now, I don't know
how your soul got
trapped in this phone.

But I will break you out!

[inhales deeply]


Sorry, Tulip, I couldn't
find anything for "Aaaaah."

Curse you, Big Tech!

Don't worry, Agatha.
I am not giving up on you.


You're looking at
a five-star driver, Billy boy!

Ma! Knock! I don't
have my socks on!

I'm indecent!

How's it feel to be wrong, huh?

It's eating you up
inside, isn't it?

I'm just surprised
you found someone

who puts up
with your crazy driving.

I'll have you know
that my riders

don't just put up
with my driving,

they love it.

- [phone chimes]
- Hm?

Ah, there they are now.

Hey, you should tag along.

Then you can see for yourself

just how good a driver I am.

Fine, maybe I will!

Just let me put
my socks on first.

I don't know how I'm gonna
get you outta there, Agatha.

I've tried everything!

I found six results
for trees in your area.

Don't worry,
I'll figure something out.


Hey, uh, yeah, I'm
tired of using this crane.

Too tired to even
turn off the crane.

Don't touch the crane, 'kay?

Hm. That'll do.

Almost there. 91!

Finally... done.

Ahhh, what a good break.
How's it going?

Oh, my gosh,
you actually did it.

I mean, time to deliver them!

123 Stinky Street
is 20 blocks away.

What? That's not true!

That's not even a real address!

Oh, it's not?
But how would you know that?

Unless this order
is some sort of prank.

123 Stinky Street, huh?

Great! See you
when it's done!


[alarm ringing]

Got a little dirty,
but we made out clean.

Clean or dirty,
I love you either way.

- Oh, yeah?
- You know I do.

- I know you love dirt.
- I know you know I do.

[both] Ride's here!

All, right, Alice,
let's... go.

Who is this?

Where are my manners?
Bill, Bella, Bash.

Bella, Bash, Bill.
Bash, Bill, Bella.

Ohp! Hey, just
getting a news alert
on my smartphone.

Not sure how to, uh...
Oh, it's playing.

We're getting reports
of two passionate criminals

robbing banks across Big City!

If you see
this double trouble duo,

alert authorities immediately!

Sheesh. Better keep
an eye out for-- [gasps]

Ma, all this time,
you've been driving
around criminals!

Is this true?

[grunts] Hey!

Thanks for the ride!

[grunt] I can't get
the other one out!

We've got no time!

Hey! That's my car!
And my son!

Ahhh, what a beautiful day!

And the perfect place
for a lean.

- [crunch]
- Wow! That's no good!

Officer Keys! You gotta
go after those criminals!

They have my son!

Well, gosh I'd love to,
but my driving foot
has a flat!

Then I'll drive.


Hey, babe, can I drive?

Sure thing, babe,
take the wheel.

Wow, babe, your hair smells
so nice today.

I'm so uncomfortable!

[police siren]

Ugh, they're gaining on us!

How could I be so dumb?!

I put my son in danger

all because I wanted
a five-star rating!

Look, we've all done
crazy things for stars.

I mean, that's
the only reason I'm a cop!

- Huh?
- Unh!

What a shame.
All out of water bottles.

Maybe we should just pull over.

[both] Shut up!

Come on, old lady,

don't you have anything
besides expired mints?!


[laughs] Yah!

- Yaah!
- Aah!

What are you doing?
We're gonna lose 'em!

And you're
headed right toward
the Big City Ramp Museum!

[Officer Keys] Whoa!


[wild scream]

[Officer Keys] Whoa!

Time to punch it, babe.
You ready?

[both] Footsie!

[police siren]

Okay, Agatha, just stay calm.

You'll soon be free
of your phone prison!

I'm sorry, Toolbox,
I didn't quite get that.

Just let me do this for you!

[grunting and gasping]

I can't believe that yet again

my actions
have had consequences!

- [phone ringing]
- Hmm?

Uh-- Uh-- Whoa!

Uh... h-hello?

[Gloria with British accent]
Hello, this is
Mrs. Greenburgshire.

I'm just letting you know

we won't be needing
those lattes anymore

because Mr. Greenburgshire
just got...

dunked on, boiiiiiii!

[Cricket] G-- Gloria?
How long have you known?


The whole time.


[police siren]

They won't stop!
What are we gonna do?!

- Watch this!
- Whoa!

- Yeah!
- [all screaming]

Welp, today can't get any worse.

Never mind. It can.


- Agatha, be free!
- Aaah!

Woo-hoo! Oh, my.

Oof! Freedom!

Come on, babe!
Let's get outta here!

- Huh?!
- Huh?!

Oh, hey, there.
Need a lift?

Bella! Please,
baby, don't leave me!

Bash! We've never been
this far apart!

Remember me!


O-kay! I think
it's about time
you two got a room...

in prison.

Oh, hey, Mrs. Green!

Great driving back there!

See, Bill?
A fan of my driving
who's not a criminal!

Actually, make that
two non-criminals.

Aww, really?

Your driving style's
not for everyone.

But it sure saved
my bacon back there.

Excuse me. Does this
extremely wet boy belong to you?

Oh, yep, I'll take that.

Well, whaddya say we head home--

Oh! Tilly, you're here.

Can't talk.
Checking something.

[gasps] Agatha!

Thank you, Tilly.

You're the only one
who cared about meeee...

Fly on, you crazy angel.

You're free!

That phone cost me $200.

♪ I've got sweat in my eyes ♪

♪ Lost a bet and got
bit by 100 flies ♪

♪ I fell out a big ol' tree ♪

♪ Hit every branch and
scraped up both my knees ♪

♪ I got chased by a dog ♪

♪ Licked by a frog ♪

♪ Got a rash on my legs ♪

♪ Dropped a dozen eggs ♪

♪ I got splinters
in seven and ten ♪

♪ And tomorrow
I'll do it all again ♪♪