Bewitched (1964–1972): Season 4, Episode 17 - Samantha's Da Vinci Dilemma - full transcript

Aunt Clara.

Aunt Clara?

- Aunt... Hi.
- Oh, hello, Samantha.

- Oh, dear.
- Oh, my goodness.

Well, your landings are getting
smoother all the time.

Yes, it was rather successful.

But your chef's hat
could use a little fluffing up.

Chef's hat? What chef's hat?

- Oh, my chef's hat.
- Yes.

That's why I'm here.

I've come from
the Annual Witches Cookout.



How exciting.

I made my favourite recipe...

saut?ed pussy willow amandine.

- I'm partial to nuts.
- That sounds divine. Did you win?

No. As a matter of fact,
I was disqualified.

Taste this, dear.

Well, now, Aunt Clara,
winning isn't everything.

Well, no wonder you
were disqualified. This is fudge.

Fudge?

Oh, I really must straighten out
my recipe book.

Yes, you'd better do that.
Now, you just relax.

- We can chat while I paint the house.
- Yes.

- Paint the house?
- Oh, well, I'm just touching up the trim.

- By yourself?
- Why not?



Wouldn't it be simpler
just to wave on a coat or two?

I'm enjoying myself.

The other way
isn't nearly as much fun.

Samantha...

you know, I think you're almost
as confused as I am.

- Excuse me, Aunt Clara. I'll get it.
- Of course.

Oh, my.

She does need help.

Colours harsh and colours mellow

Kumquat orange and lemon yellow

Turpentine and a brush of sable

Send to me a painter able

That was faster
than the yellow pages.

What is the meaning of this?

I was in the middle
of painting a portrait.

Oh, Samantha. Samantha.

The painter's here.

It was only a magazine salesman...

Aunt Clara.

I'm almost afraid to ask...

but who is this?

I am Leonardo da Vinci, naturally.

Naturally.

Aunt Clara, we have
Leonardo da Vinci in our kitchen.

Now, you have to send him back
before Darrin finds out.

Certainly, dear,
as soon as he paints the house.

- Aunt Clara.
- Very well. If you insist.

I do.

Colours harsh and colours mellow

Rhubarb red, eggplant purple

No. No, that's not it.

Zucchini green?

Well, don't ask me, Aunt Clara.
It's not my spell.

Help. Help.

Help.

Come on.

I'm being attacked.

Help. Help. Let go. Let go. Let go.

Leonardo, are you all right?

- This is a man-eating contraption.
- No.

This is probably the work
of some jealous artist.

Aunt Clara, I think Leonardo's
gonna be here for quite a while.

I ought to get him one of Darrin's suits
so he doesn't look so conspicuous.

Yes, of course.

Oh, Samantha...

always does it the hard way.

Now, let me see.

Skin of a lizard

Fur of varmint

Put da Vinci in Darrin's garment

Yes, Larry?

Darrin, Mr. Pritchfield and I
will be right in...

to discuss the
Mintbrite Toothpaste campaign.

- Oh, no, don't.
- What?

Well, I'm not ready yet, Larry.

Well, we'll take a look
at what you've got.

No. Larry?

Larry? Larry?

- Right this way, J.P.
- Thank you. Thank you.

Well, let's see what our
young genius has come up with.

- Yes.
- Darrin?

Darrin.

Darrin.

Well...

That certainly is a colourful outfit.

Headed for a love-in?

Actually, Larry, I'd like to explain
what this is all about.

Oh, we'd like you to.

- What I had in mind...
- Now, wait.

Stop the music. Hold it.
Before you tell me...

- let me tell you. Okay?
- Okay.

- Shall I tell him, Stephens?
- Sure, let's not make him guess.

Alrighty. Now, then, the outfit.
Renaissance painter, right?

Right.

So far. But who?

Leonardo da Vinci, right?

Right. You have a remarkable
depth of perception, Mr. Pritchfield.

Well, thank you.

- Tate, are you with it yet?
- No.

But you two are having such
a good time, I'll just watch for a while.

- Oh, now, don't tell me.
- Don't worry.

Leonardo da Vinci painted
the Mona Lisa, right?

Right.

So we use Mona Lisa's smile
with Mintbrite Toothpaste, right?

Wrong.

- Stephens, I like it.
- Stephens, he likes it.

But, Larry, I have some other ideas
I'd like to mention.

Darrin, we don't wanna hear
any other ideas, you son of a gun.

Well, J.P., now that you've got the
message, how about a little huddle...

- with the Art Department, huh?
- Well, great. Great.

Good work, Darrin.
You're a million surprises.

At least.

Now that you made your point...

I suppose you'll want to change
back into the old grey flannel.

Sure thing, Lar.

We'll meet you here
after we've worked out...

- an approach at the Art Department.
- Yes, yes.

- Mr. Stephens?
- Yes.

The doors don't seem to close.
Could you pull your cape in a little?

Sure.

Sam!

Samantha!

What are you doing home so early?

And why are you wearing
that ridiculous...?

Don't you know? It's my hobby.

- Dressing like famous men.
- Oh, dear. Well, I can fix that.

Do you want to tell me...

or do I guess?

Aunt Clara?

Endora? Uncle Arthur?

Well, sweetheart,
Aunt Clara did drop in.

She was only trying to help.

- It's kind of hard to explain.
- Try.

Well, she wanted to get someone
to help me paint the house.

Well, she just made one
teeny little mistake...

voil?, Leonardo da Vinci.

You're not gonna tell me that
Leonardo da Vinci is here in our house?

- Okay, I won't.
- But he is.

- Well...
- Isn't he?

Tell me.

Now, Darrin, make up your mind.
Do you wanna know or don't you?

I can't believe it.

It is kind of hard, isn't it?

Where is he?

He's in the living room
with Aunt Clara.

- But she's gonna send him right back.
- Good.

Soon as she remembers how.

Great.

That brings us to the P's.

With the P's,
I invented the parachute...

the pump, the power saw
and prefabricated houses.

Before you leave the P's,
let's discuss painting the house.

Sam, if it was so easy
to get me out of his clothes...

why can't you get him
out of here?

Well, sweetheart,
switching your clothes is one thing...

but to return Leonardo
to another century...

well, that's a much bigger thing.

That's impossible.

And Aunt Clara did it, and she's
the only one who can undo it.

Right.

Oh, you do understand,
don't you, sweetheart?

Yes, I think I do understand.
That's what worries me.

Come on and meet Leonardo,
sweetheart.

Wait till you hear
all the things he's invented.

Aunt Clara.

- Aunt Clara.
- Yes.

Where's Leonardo?

- What?
- Leonardo. Where's Leonardo?

Well...

Oh, it was...

Oh, my stars.

Sweetheart, you check out back.

- No luck?
- No luck?

Oh, honey. Now, don't worry.
We'll find him.

Did he invent the straitjacket?
I think I'm gonna need one.

Oh, sweetheart.

But of course.

I'm beginning to forget
my own inventions.

There's one thing
we all have to agree on.

If the police pick him up,
we never heard of him.

No matter what he says,
we never heard of him.

They'll think he's crazy, lock him up.
That'll be the end of it.

Why, Darrin,
we can't do that to Leonardo.

- Darrin?
- Yeah, I guess not.

- Sweetheart, I'm sure we can find him.
- Please hurry.

Larry expects me back
for a meeting with Mr. Pritchfield.

Oh, no.
Aunt Clara, you check the park.

The park?

Oh, the park. Of course, yes.
It's so lovely this time of year.

Sweetheart,
I'll check all the museums.

Now, don't worry. We'll find him.

- Okay. You ready?
- Yeah.

Hang on. Hang on.

And now, if you'll be so kind
as to follow me...

we shall have a view
of the finest of modern sculpture.

Now, here we have...

What do we have here?

Here we have the work
of Jackson Pride.

One of the finest
of our living sculptors.

It's called Man in Motion.

- It was commissioned last year.
- When does the work begin?

Begin? It's finished.

My friend, this is nothing
but a block of stone, like your head.

Sir, this is a finished work of art.
And it is priceless.

Now, would you follow me, please?

I will show these frauds
what a man in motion really is.

Excuse me.

Do you have permission
from the curator to work here?

He wouldn't.

Can't you see
this is an errand of mercy?

I am breathing life into this stone.

I don't care if you're giving it
mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

He did.

All right, I've dealt
with you hippies before.

- Excuse me.
- Me, a hippie?

How dare you call me that.

Samantha, you have arrived
just in time. I have been insulted.

He called me a hippie.

What is a hippie?

Lady, are you responsible
for this dodo?

What did the dodo do?

- I mean, what did he do?
- Do? He ruined this statue.

Don't you think you ought to
do something about this crowd?

Oh, yeah. All right, everybody.
Let's move along. All right.

Move along.

Leonardo.

Leonardo.

Hebus, herbus, lightning storm

Restore this stone to original form

All right, we're all going to
the curator's office...

The statue.

I don't understand it.

Well, that's modern art for you.

Come on, Leonardo. Darrin's gonna
be wondering where we are.

So this is the way they travel
in the 20th century. It's delightful.

Of course,
it makes my aeroplane obsolete...

but I should have thought of this
sooner or later.

Good. You found him.
Get rid of him.

Darrin. This is Leonardo da Vinci.

Delighted to meet you.

It's a great honour to meet you,
Mr. da Vinci.

Thank you.

How's Michelangelo?

Michelangelo? That charlatan?

He painted over the cracks
on an old ceiling. Big deal.

Fascinating, isn't he?

Honey, don't you think
we ought to try and find Aunt Clara.

Oh, dear, she's still in the park.

- In the park?
- Yes.

You'd better find her, and fast.

Larry and Mr. Pritchfield
are on their way here.

- I couldn't stop them.
- Well, all right, sweetheart. I'll hurry.

It's them.

This looks interesting.

Sweetheart, I'll answer the door
while you pull yourself together.

- Oh, hi, Sam.
- Hi, Larry.

- J.P. Pritchfield. Samantha Stephens.
- Well, how do you do, Mrs. Stephens?

- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

- Where's the genius?
- Yeah.

- Genius?
- Here he is.

- Hello, Stephens.
- Mr. Pritchfield.

Darrin, wait till you see what
we've done with your Mona Lisa.

- Darrin's Mona Lisa?
- J.P. really deserves all the credit.

Well, sometimes you have
a feel for these things.

Oh, Larry, can I fix you
and Mr. Pritchfield a drink?

No, thanks, Sam.

We're anxious to show Darrin
the artwork.

Oh, I'm sorry we don't have
a drum roll but...

- There we go.
- Here it goes.

Well, what do you think
of our little lady, Mrs. Stephens?

Why, it's terrible.

Ly clever and inspired.

I mean...

what an idea.

And what do you think of my little
improvement on the smile, Stephens?

Well...

I think maybe it's the teeth
that bother me.

We are trying to sell toothpaste.

Yes, but you don't tamper
with a great work of art.

It's in bad taste. Now, people don't go
around distorting great works of art.

Be the first, start a fashion.

Stephens, I like it.

Well, I don't.

- Using the Mona Lisa was my idea.
- Oh, that's good.

Yes, you bet it's good.

And I have every intention
of going ahead with it as is.

With one little change.

- Yes, sir, what's that?
- Without McMann & Tate!

You've lost a million-dollar contract.
J.P.?

When one member
of the team stumbles...

- you don't fire the coach.
- In my league, we do.

Sam, what are you doing?

Just a little delaying tactic
to try and figure out a way...

to keep your integrity
and the Pritchfield account.

- I don't want the account. Let them go.
- But, Darrin, that's not fair.

Witchcraft got you into this mess.
Now, maybe it can help get you out.

- Wait.
- Yes.

- A brilliant idea.
- Yes?

That's what we need,
a brilliant idea.

I think I've got it.

In our den is one of the greatest
minds the world has ever known.

Leonardo.

Leonardo.

What do you think of this?

My Mona Lisa.

What have these barbarians
done to my Mona Lisa?

This could only be the work
of Michelangelo.

Well, no. Leonardo, actually
it's rather a complicated story.

You see, Darrin's client,
Mr. Pritchfield...

intends to use your painting
to sell toothpaste.

And you approve of this?

Of course we don't.

In fact, we want to get you
to help us stop him.

I am ready.

Leonardo, all you have to do...

is come up with a brilliant idea
for selling toothpaste.

That will save my Mona Lisa?

Well, certainly. Mr. Pritchfield
would forget all about her.

Then Leonardo
will come to the rescue.

Now, Samantha, just a few drams
of butterscotch, and it is finished.

Oh, Leonardo, the children
are just gonna love this.

- Making any progress?
- It's almost finished.

Oh, wait a minute. Please.
Mr. Pritchfield. Larry.

I think Darrin ought to have a chance
to tell you his real idea.

Well, where is Stephens?

Oh, he'll be right back.

One more day
with your outfit, Tate...

and I'll be ready
for the laughing academy.

Now, sweetheart,
don't be stubborn.

Darrin has an idea for a new
toothpaste especially for children.

It's something that'll make it fun
for children to brush their teeth.

Darrin, you've done enough.

- I don't think you...
- Quiet, Tate.

I'm always ready
to look at a new idea.

Go ahead, dear, tell him.

To tell the truth, when you
came into the office today...

I was about to announce
a new product.

Tooth paint.

- Tooth paint?
- Yes.

A chemist friend helped to develop it.
It's for the kids.

All they do is paint the different
colours on their teeth, then rinse.

The biggest problem is getting
the little tykes to brush.

Now, each colour
is a different flavour.

There's cherry and lime and lemon
and blueberry and grape.

- And butterscotch.
- That's the plaid one.

I'm sorry, Sam, Darrin...

but J.P. is pretty much sold
on this Mona Lisa thing.

Will you be quiet, Tate?
I'd like to hear more.

Of course. So would I.

J.P., there comes a time
in your business...

when you have to make
a fresh start.

We've been selling Mintbrite
Toothpaste for over three years...

and we've exhausted
the originality.

But with this new product,
we open up the kids market.

- It's a whole new breakthrough.
- I'm sold.

- And then the parents will follow.
- Okay, I'm sold.

- Larry?
- Of course. If J.P.'s happy, I'm happy.

Well, good. Then it's all settled.

You've got quite a husband here,
Mrs. Stephens.

Well, I must agree with you,
Mr. Pritchfield.

Yes. Yes.
Well, I've gotta be getting on.

We'll meet on this tomorrow.
Stephens. Mrs. Stephens.

Mr. Pritchfield.

Well, see you tomorrow,
you son of a gun. So long, Sam.

Bye, Larry.

Leonardo.

Leonardo, it worked.

Of course it worked.
Leonardo da Vinci is a genius.

I just talked to the contractor.

He'll be here a week from Tuesday
to paint the house.

- I've got some good news for you too.
- I could use some of that.

Aunt Clara remembered the spell, and
she's gonna send Leonardo back...

in a little while.

What do you mean,
"in a little while"?

Come on, I'll show you.

Aunt Clara made a deal
with Leonardo.

Because he didn't paint the house,
he has to paint her.

You possess an enigmatic smile.

Oh, really?

Can't you hurry him up?

Sweetheart, you can't rush
a masterpiece like the Mona Clara.

Sorry.