Bewitched (1964–1972): Season 4, Episode 10 - That Was No Chick, That Was My Wife - full transcript
Samantha and Darrin's plans for a nice, relaxing weekend take a turn for the busy, as in business, when Larry makes a request - more a demand - that they both go to Chicago to meet with Mr. & Mrs. Springer, of Springer Pet Foods, to "grease the wheels" in preparation for Mr. Springer's trip to New York early next week to renew his contract. They ask Aunt Clara to babysit as she made an unexpected visit anyway. The luncheon with the Springers goes well, they who like the kind of family people Darrin and Samantha seem to be, and Mr. Springer tells Darrin of his intention to renew with McMann & Tate. Things are not going as well at home, as Aunt Clara is having problems with Tabatha. So Samantha makes a quick trip home to deal with Tabatha. Complications ensue when Louise sees Samantha at the house when she should be in Chicago. Louise passes the news to Larry who apologizes to Springer for Samantha not being able to make the trip to Chicago. Springer, in turn, believes the woman who Darrin brought to lunch was his mistress, and as such, decides to drop McMann & Tate unless Darrin is fired. Samantha and Darrin don't know how to handle the situation as they don't want to accuse Louise of being a liar, yet they can't prove to an incensed Springer that she really is Darrin's wife. They need a little luck to get them out of this situation without Darrin having to look for another job.
Here you are, sweetheart.
Thanks, honey.
You know what I'm
gonna do this weekend?
What?
Nothing.
Not a single,
solitary, blessed thing.
I'm not even gonna
answer the phone.
If that doorbell
rings, it can just ring.
Oh, just, uh... Hello there.
What if somebody
lands in our tree?
Oh, dear, I'm afraid I zigged
and I should have zagged.
Oh...
Oh, come here, Aunt
Clara. Let me help you.
Oh dear. My.
Oh, thank you, dear. Tha...
I'll get it.
I thought you weren't
gonna answer the doorbell.
We answered the tree.
Why not the doorbell?
Oh, oh, I hope
I'm not intruding.
No. Never. Oh.
We're always happy
to see you, Aunt Clara.
Oh, bless you, dear.
Darrin, am I lucky I
caught you at home.
Oh. Hi, Larry. Uh, come on in.
Honey, it's Larry.
Hi, Larry.
Hi, Sam.
You remember Aunt Clara?
Of course. How
are you, Aunt Clara?
Oh, hello.
Oh, have I got great news.
Great news, Darrin!
Sit down. Sit down.
Uh, you mind if I
stand? No, why?
Because whenever you say
"sit down, sit down" like that,
I always end up back
on my feet, yelling.
Ha-ha! Not this time you
won't, you lucky son of a gun.
How would you and Sam like
an all-expense-paid weekend
in Chicago?
Chicago?
Chicago?
Oh, I think that sounds
wonderfully exciting.
You know the Springer
Pet Food account
is coming up for renewal.
What I had in mind
is for you and Sam
to soften him up a little.
Smooth the road for us when
he comes to town next week.
So I arranged
this little luncheon
with Springer and his wife.
What do you say to that?
You mean, you don't want to go?
Actually, Sam and I have
plans for the weekend.
Oh, now, don't
you worry about me.
You two go and have a good time,
and I'll stay here and
take care of Tabatha.
Thanks, Aunt Clara.
Thanks, Aunt Clara.
Then it's all settled.
The plane reservations,
hotel reservations.
Plane leaves at 4, lunch
tomorrow at 1 at your hotel.
Well, I guess I have
to be running along.
I was going to suggest that.
Oh, I almost forgot.
You know, if we
land that renewal,
there's a big
bonus in it for you.
You son of a gun.
Oh, isn't that a nice man?
Aunt Clara, we're leaving.
I'll be right there.
Tickets, money, car keys.
I'm all set except
for one thing.
What's that?
My peace of mind.
Oh, Darrin. Will you
please stop carrying on?
Aunt Clara's perfectly capable
of taking care of Tabatha.
But who's gonna take
care of Aunt Clara?
Shh!
Everything's under control.
And our little
darling is fast asleep.
Good. Now, you have
that list I gave you?
Well, yes. It's here. It's
here. Everything's on it.
Nothing to worry about.
Now, you run along
and enjoy yourselves.
Well, thank you, dear. Goodbye.
Bye-bye, darling.
You be sure to read her a
story at bedtime, Aunt Clara.
Come on, come on. Goodbye.
If she cries during the night...
Goodbye, Aunt Clara. Uh-huh.
To me, Stephens,
the most important
ingredient in any product
is the pride of the
man who makes it.
And the man who sells it.
Exactly.
Of all the pet foods
we manufacture,
my favorite is our birdseed.
Now, I believe in birdseed.
Mrs. Springer
will tell you that.
Right, dear?
Oh, yes.
Tell them about the
sales convention.
Oh. Well, we had this one
wise-guy salesman and...
He claimed he wasn't
selling any birdseed,
because it wasn't
fit for animals.
So Alvin stood up, and he
ate a whole box of birdseed
and made a fool of him.
Hm.
Tell them about it, dear.
That's it. I ate the whole box.
Now, how many other birdseed
manufacturers would do that?
Not too many, I imagine.
Maybe none. Pardon?
I... I mean, that's certainly
a convincing demonstration
of faith.
Well, thank you, young lady.
May I tell you both something?
Now, we've only just
met, but in my opinion,
you two are real
pet-food people.
We are?
Thank you.
Monkey.
Um. Um. Uh, well, now, I...
Where did that come from?
Oh! Oh, oh.
Ha-ha. Uh...
Funny monkey.
There isn't a thing on that list
about what to feed the monkey.
Hello? Hi, Aunt Clara.
I was just calling to see
if everything's all right.
I'm glad you called.
I didn't know what
to feed the monkey.
Feed the what?
I said, I d... I don't know what
to feed, uh, Tabatha's monkey.
Y-you're not talking about
her stuffed monkey, are you?
No, no. This isn't
a stuffed monkey.
Oh, no, uh, if anything, uh...
Oh, I think he's hungry.
Don't do a thing, Aunt
Clara. I'll be right there.
That was your mommy,
and she's going...
to pop in.
Well, that's just as I thought.
Oh, Aunt Clara.
Tabatha turned her toy
monkey into a real one.
Oh, that's what you meant.
Oh. Isn't she wonderful?
Oh, she's coming
along, you know?
Tabatha, you turn
him back immediately.
Oh, she really is talented.
She is rather
amazing, isn't she?
But... Aunt Clara,
that is something we
do not want to encourage.
Well, why not,
for heaven's sake?
Aunt Clara...
remember, I'm not here.
You're not?
Oh! Ha-ha. Of course.
Hello, Aunt Clara. I'm
Louise Tate, remember?
Oh, yes. Uh, yes...
Uh, Samantha isn't here.
Of course. I know
that. She's in Chicago.
Oh?
You mean, she didn't
tell you where she went?
Oh, I know where she went,
but I don't know
where she's going.
Pardon?
Is there any message
in case I see her?
No. I'll, uh... I'll call
her tomorrow night.
I got rid of her.
Hm. Well you
almost got rid of me.
Now... let's go over that list.
Number one...
What did you mean,
if you see her? How...?
Samantha?
Hi, Louise.
I-I thought you were in Chicago.
Ahh. Well, yes.
Uh, well, uh, I... I was going,
but at the last minute, we
had to change our plans.
Our sitter got sick.
Well, I thought your
aunt was sitting for you.
Oh, I'm sorry. You
better take care of that.
Take care of what?
What a shame, Samantha.
I mean, Larry was
counting on your being there.
In fact, he suggested
that I stop by to make sure
that everything was all right.
Oh, how sweet of Larry.
Yes, he... is thoughtful.
Well, I'm sorry you have
to be rushing off, Louise.
I'd ask you to stay
for a cup of coffee.
Well, thanks anyway.
Some other time.
Bye. Bye.
Wait a second.
Who said I was in a rush?
That's very good.
Isn't that amusing?
Ah, no, no. Don't get up.
We were getting
worried about you.
We certainly were.
Well, I'm sorry,
but I had trouble getting
through to our sitter.
But you did. Oh,
yes. Everything's fine.
Good. For the most part.
Well, I'm delighted you
found your little love nest
in such good order.
Meanwhile, we have a
little surprise of our own.
Haven't we, Stephens?
Yes, honey. While
you were on the phone,
Mr. Springer agreed
to renew the account.
Oh, that is a happy surprise.
And I'm just about
to put a call through
to Larry Tate right now
and give him the good news.
Excuse me.
Larry Tate?
Alvin just can't
wait to tell him
how fond we are of both of you.
Oh, heh, that's nice.
Now, what's the matter, honey?
Nothing. Nothing at all, Darrin.
Hm.
Hello?
Speaking.
It's Springer.
Darrin's really fouled
things up this time.
Well, hello there, Mr. Springer.
Now, I know why you're calling.
I just found out myself
that Stephens couldn't
bring his wife along.
His wife couldn't make it, eh?
But I can assure you that
she was brokenhearted.
You may as well
know the worst, Tate.
Stephens had the colossal gall
to bring along some
blond he picked up.
And he introduced
her as his wife.
What?
Mr. Springer, I... I...
I can't believe that.
Well, frankly, that's not
the sort of man I want
to represent Springer
Pet Food to the public.
And I shouldn't think
it's the kind of man
you'd want in your employ.
Right, Mr. Springer,
on both counts.
But I hope it's not going
to affect our relationship.
Not at all. Oh, thank you.
Because as of this moment,
our relationship has ended.
Mr. Springer. Uh,
wait. Just... Just let...
Hello?
Ah, did you reach Mr. Tate?
I did.
I bet he flipped
when you told him.
Oh, he flipped all right.
Mrs. Stephens,
you haven't told us
anything about your home life.
I'm sure Mrs. Springer
would be interested.
Well, what would
you like to know?
Uh, we have one child,
a girl. A very nice house.
That keeps me
busy most of the time.
Does it?
Young lady, you're one
of the coolest numbers
I've ever run into.
I beg your pardon?
It's a little late for that now.
My dear, at the risk of
offending your delicate ears,
with the height of
gross indecency...
this lady is not Mrs. Stephens.
Oh!
What do you mean?
What's he talking about?
Uh, n-now, now, Darrin.
And don't deny it.
Tate just told me.
Huh?
The nerve!
Come along, my dear.
I'm sure you want to
go home and lie down.
Oh, yes, dear.
I feel one of my
migraines coming on.
Goodbye, Mr. Stephens.
Goodbye, Miss Whoever-You-Are.
What'd he mean?
What's he talking about?
Well, sweetheart.
I think I know.
Remember when it was
your idea that I call the house?
Mm-hm.
W-well, while I was checking,
Louise dropped by.
Louise?
Dropped by?
Out there in the phone booth?
No. In there. In our front hall.
You mean, you... Oh.
And Louise told Larry,
and Larry told Springer.
Oh, Sam, why didn't
you use the phone?
Well...
Oh, no. The phone.
Oh, the phone.
The phone.
Oh. Well, hello.
Well, aren't you
home a little early?
We're home a lot early.
There was a slight
change in plans.
So slight it's too
horrible to mention.
Hello, sweetheart.
Aunt Clara, Darrin
may lose his job.
Oh, I think that's splendid.
Then you'll be able to
spend more time at home.
Oh, I'm happy for you.
And if I have
helped in any way...
Aunt Clara...
I think maybe you'd better
take Tabatha upstairs.
Oh, yes. Ha-ha.
Come along, dear.
Oh, I just knew this was
going to be a lucky weekend
for both of you.
Sweetheart... she meant well.
Yeah.
You know, this may
be the best thing
that's ever happened to me.
It's time I made a change.
Darrin, when you talked
to Larry on the phone,
he didn't come right
out and fire you, did he?
No. He's waiting
till I call him back,
then he's going to fire me.
Now, Darrin, I know Larry.
Now, I bet he's sitting
at home right this minute,
just feeling terrible
about the whole thing.
You really think so?
Of course, he does need me.
As a matter of fact,
I'm indispensable.
In the advertising business,
men of my caliber
are very hard to find.
He can't afford to fire me.
Hello?
Oh, hi, Larry. How are you?
Did I tell you?
How's everything, Lar?
Fine, Darrin, just fine.
Now that I've got the
Springer account back.
You got the account
back. That's terrific, Lar.
How'd you do it?
Oh, it was easy.
I just promised Springer
you'd never set foot
in our office again.
Uh, w... Uh, wait a minute.
Wait... Wait a minute, Larry...
So first thing tomorrow, come
in and clear out your desk,
before Springer
arrives from Chicago.
Now he wants me to come
in and clear out my desk
first thing tomorrow.
Oh, dear.
And I'm glad.
Glad?
At least we don't have to come
up with a logical explanation
of what happened in Chicago.
That's true.
Um, sweetheart...
could I go with you tomorrow?
What for?
W-well, I have to take, uh,
Tabatha shopping and so, uh...
Do you mind?
Okay.
Anyway, it's nice having
your loved ones with you
when you're
walking the last mile.
Oh.
Martini?
Two. Oh.
Yes, sir. I'll tell
him, Mr. Tate.
Mr. Springer...
Mr. Tate says he'll
be down momentarily.
Huh. About time.
Well, Mr. Stephens, how are you?
How are you, Mrs. Stephens?
Fine, Charlie.
And look who's here.
My, but you're
getting to be a big girl.
You know, Mrs. Stephens,
the way she's growing up
is enough to scare you.
And what a doll.
Yeah, she's the
spitting image of you.
Thank you, Charlie.
Well, I got to get back to work.
Mr. Stephens... Mrs. Stephens.
Goodbye. Good day.
Stephens! Hold it
a minute, will you?
Mr. Springer.
Then I did hear
right. This is your wife.
Believe it or not.
But I don't understand.
Darrin, how dare you
confront Mr. Springer.
I'm sorry, sir. I told him...
It's all right,
Tate. It's all right.
I'm just trying to clear
up a little confusion.
Oh, boy. You mean, it's,
uh, all out in the open, huh?
I'm sorry, Sam. I... I
tried to keep it from you.
What?
Tate, I think you're
the one who's confused.
This is the Mrs. Stephens
who was in Chicago.
The real Mrs. Stephens.
Huh? But Loui...
Louise said... I
don't understand.
Will somebody please tell
me what's going on here?
Mr. Springer...
we enjoy socializing
with my husband's clients,
not because we feel
we're obligated to,
but because we want to.
Now, my husband feels
very strongly about that.
Don't you, dear?
Uh, yes! Of course.
So when we created
that little misunderstanding
about who he was with,
he thought that your
attitude was out of line,
and you didn't
deserve an explanation.
Is that a fair
statement, sweetheart?
Yes. I would say
that was very fair.
I think.
We purposely made you think
that Samantha wasn't my wife,
just to see how you'd react.
Right, Lar?
He's crazy. They're
both crazy. My wife...
Shut up, Tate. I'd
like to hear more.
Oh, yes. Ha-ha. So would I.
Uh, go on Stephens,
by all means.
Uh, McMann and Tate
is, uh, one of the busiest
advertising firms
in the country.
They're in demand.
And we just... They
just don't have time, uh...
fooling around with people
who are more interested
in prying into their
employees' lives,
than in the job
they do for them.
Are you saying you
don't want my account?
Uh, he didn't say that.
You didn't say that.
Did you, Darrin?
No, I'm saying we
want your account,
but we don't need it.
And that represents
your point of view too?
Oh, no. I should say not.
Too bad.
Because I think it's a
kind of a unique attitude.
Takes guts.
That's it. Guts. Guts
and imagination.
You might say that's the
hallmark of our entire backbone.
So to speak.
All I'm really saying is,
if we deliver the goods...
And I believe we have.
What else matters?
I like his style. Put
him back on the payroll.
He was never really off. Ha-ha.
Oh, I was just trying to throw
a little scare into him. Ha-ha.
Thanks, old buddy.
Well, his kind
doesn't scare easily.
And I wouldn't want to have
him on the opposing side.
Mm. Well... it's nice
to have you two back
in the Springer Pet Food family.
And you too, sweetheart.
Hi.
Well, I guess that cancels
our luncheon appointment date.
I've got to take Mrs.
Springer shopping.
Now, why don't we all
meet tonight at my hotel,
and we'll finalize the deal.
Great.
Bye-bye.
See you tonight, Mr. Springer.
All right, Tate. Thank you.
Bye-bye.
Darrin, forgive me.
I-I must be going
out of my mind.
No, I take it back.
It's Louise who's
going out of her mind.
Oh, now, Larry.
Don't you go blame it on Louise.
Why not? No question
about it, she's crazy.
How could she be crazy?
She married you, didn't she?
That's true.
Well, uh, we're going to
take Tabatha shopping.
Uh, wait a minute, Darrin.
Why didn't you
tell me the truth?
I was testing you.
Oh!
Oh, good morning,
Aunt Clara. Sleep well?
Oh, not particularly.
I've been so worried
about that poor Mrs. Tate.
Is she any better?
Well, I'm expecting
her over any minute.
And I think I can
straighten her out.
With a little help.
Excuse me.
I hate to impose, Serena,
but you do owe
me a favor or three.
Well, well, well.
What happened to
all your mortal values?
I thought it wasn't nice to lie.
Well, this is just
a little white lie.
And for a good purpose.
Oh, I see.
In your mortal world, all you
need is a good reason to lie.
Yes. N-no. I mean,
uh... Oh! There she is.
N-now, Serena, please cooperate.
Oh, very well. But
this settles our account.
Oh, uh... I have to
make a few changes.
Mm.
Yuck!
Aunt Clara, if that's Louise,
I want to talk to
her alone, okay?
Hi, Louise. Come on in.
Can't stay long. Have to
be at the psychiatrist at 9.
Well, you have time
for a cup of coffee.
Good morning, Aunt Clara.
Hi.
Aunt Clara, I think I
heard the baby cry.
You did? Well, I didn't
hear the baby cry.
Aunt Clara...
Oh! Oh, I think I
hear the baby crying.
Louise, I thought if you
dropped by here first,
you might not have to
go to the psychiatrist.
Oh, I certainly
do. Larry insists.
And frankly, after what
happened, I don't blame him.
Oh, Samantha, I just
can't apologize enough
for all the trouble
I've caused you.
Louise, I'd like you
to meet somebody.
Come on in!
Is she...?
It's my cousin, Serena.
Do you mean, when I dropped
by here the other day that she...
That's right.
Well, why didn't you
tell me who you were?
You didn't ask me.
Uh, Louise...
I'm afraid Serena
was playing games.
When we were children,
we used to love to fool people.
And... well, Serena
would like to apologize.
Wouldn't you?
If you say so.
What a relief. I'm going
right home and tell Larry.
Well, I'm glad
it's all cleared up.
I'll walk you to your car.
Good morning, sweetheart.
Good morning. Who was that?
Louise.
Were you able to
straighten her out?
Yes, I think she'll be okay now.
Where's my good-morning kiss?
Right here.
Hey!
And don't ever try
that again, Serena.
Thanks, honey.
You know what I'm
gonna do this weekend?
What?
Nothing.
Not a single,
solitary, blessed thing.
I'm not even gonna
answer the phone.
If that doorbell
rings, it can just ring.
Oh, just, uh... Hello there.
What if somebody
lands in our tree?
Oh, dear, I'm afraid I zigged
and I should have zagged.
Oh...
Oh, come here, Aunt
Clara. Let me help you.
Oh dear. My.
Oh, thank you, dear. Tha...
I'll get it.
I thought you weren't
gonna answer the doorbell.
We answered the tree.
Why not the doorbell?
Oh, oh, I hope
I'm not intruding.
No. Never. Oh.
We're always happy
to see you, Aunt Clara.
Oh, bless you, dear.
Darrin, am I lucky I
caught you at home.
Oh. Hi, Larry. Uh, come on in.
Honey, it's Larry.
Hi, Larry.
Hi, Sam.
You remember Aunt Clara?
Of course. How
are you, Aunt Clara?
Oh, hello.
Oh, have I got great news.
Great news, Darrin!
Sit down. Sit down.
Uh, you mind if I
stand? No, why?
Because whenever you say
"sit down, sit down" like that,
I always end up back
on my feet, yelling.
Ha-ha! Not this time you
won't, you lucky son of a gun.
How would you and Sam like
an all-expense-paid weekend
in Chicago?
Chicago?
Chicago?
Oh, I think that sounds
wonderfully exciting.
You know the Springer
Pet Food account
is coming up for renewal.
What I had in mind
is for you and Sam
to soften him up a little.
Smooth the road for us when
he comes to town next week.
So I arranged
this little luncheon
with Springer and his wife.
What do you say to that?
You mean, you don't want to go?
Actually, Sam and I have
plans for the weekend.
Oh, now, don't
you worry about me.
You two go and have a good time,
and I'll stay here and
take care of Tabatha.
Thanks, Aunt Clara.
Thanks, Aunt Clara.
Then it's all settled.
The plane reservations,
hotel reservations.
Plane leaves at 4, lunch
tomorrow at 1 at your hotel.
Well, I guess I have
to be running along.
I was going to suggest that.
Oh, I almost forgot.
You know, if we
land that renewal,
there's a big
bonus in it for you.
You son of a gun.
Oh, isn't that a nice man?
Aunt Clara, we're leaving.
I'll be right there.
Tickets, money, car keys.
I'm all set except
for one thing.
What's that?
My peace of mind.
Oh, Darrin. Will you
please stop carrying on?
Aunt Clara's perfectly capable
of taking care of Tabatha.
But who's gonna take
care of Aunt Clara?
Shh!
Everything's under control.
And our little
darling is fast asleep.
Good. Now, you have
that list I gave you?
Well, yes. It's here. It's
here. Everything's on it.
Nothing to worry about.
Now, you run along
and enjoy yourselves.
Well, thank you, dear. Goodbye.
Bye-bye, darling.
You be sure to read her a
story at bedtime, Aunt Clara.
Come on, come on. Goodbye.
If she cries during the night...
Goodbye, Aunt Clara. Uh-huh.
To me, Stephens,
the most important
ingredient in any product
is the pride of the
man who makes it.
And the man who sells it.
Exactly.
Of all the pet foods
we manufacture,
my favorite is our birdseed.
Now, I believe in birdseed.
Mrs. Springer
will tell you that.
Right, dear?
Oh, yes.
Tell them about the
sales convention.
Oh. Well, we had this one
wise-guy salesman and...
He claimed he wasn't
selling any birdseed,
because it wasn't
fit for animals.
So Alvin stood up, and he
ate a whole box of birdseed
and made a fool of him.
Hm.
Tell them about it, dear.
That's it. I ate the whole box.
Now, how many other birdseed
manufacturers would do that?
Not too many, I imagine.
Maybe none. Pardon?
I... I mean, that's certainly
a convincing demonstration
of faith.
Well, thank you, young lady.
May I tell you both something?
Now, we've only just
met, but in my opinion,
you two are real
pet-food people.
We are?
Thank you.
Monkey.
Um. Um. Uh, well, now, I...
Where did that come from?
Oh! Oh, oh.
Ha-ha. Uh...
Funny monkey.
There isn't a thing on that list
about what to feed the monkey.
Hello? Hi, Aunt Clara.
I was just calling to see
if everything's all right.
I'm glad you called.
I didn't know what
to feed the monkey.
Feed the what?
I said, I d... I don't know what
to feed, uh, Tabatha's monkey.
Y-you're not talking about
her stuffed monkey, are you?
No, no. This isn't
a stuffed monkey.
Oh, no, uh, if anything, uh...
Oh, I think he's hungry.
Don't do a thing, Aunt
Clara. I'll be right there.
That was your mommy,
and she's going...
to pop in.
Well, that's just as I thought.
Oh, Aunt Clara.
Tabatha turned her toy
monkey into a real one.
Oh, that's what you meant.
Oh. Isn't she wonderful?
Oh, she's coming
along, you know?
Tabatha, you turn
him back immediately.
Oh, she really is talented.
She is rather
amazing, isn't she?
But... Aunt Clara,
that is something we
do not want to encourage.
Well, why not,
for heaven's sake?
Aunt Clara...
remember, I'm not here.
You're not?
Oh! Ha-ha. Of course.
Hello, Aunt Clara. I'm
Louise Tate, remember?
Oh, yes. Uh, yes...
Uh, Samantha isn't here.
Of course. I know
that. She's in Chicago.
Oh?
You mean, she didn't
tell you where she went?
Oh, I know where she went,
but I don't know
where she's going.
Pardon?
Is there any message
in case I see her?
No. I'll, uh... I'll call
her tomorrow night.
I got rid of her.
Hm. Well you
almost got rid of me.
Now... let's go over that list.
Number one...
What did you mean,
if you see her? How...?
Samantha?
Hi, Louise.
I-I thought you were in Chicago.
Ahh. Well, yes.
Uh, well, uh, I... I was going,
but at the last minute, we
had to change our plans.
Our sitter got sick.
Well, I thought your
aunt was sitting for you.
Oh, I'm sorry. You
better take care of that.
Take care of what?
What a shame, Samantha.
I mean, Larry was
counting on your being there.
In fact, he suggested
that I stop by to make sure
that everything was all right.
Oh, how sweet of Larry.
Yes, he... is thoughtful.
Well, I'm sorry you have
to be rushing off, Louise.
I'd ask you to stay
for a cup of coffee.
Well, thanks anyway.
Some other time.
Bye. Bye.
Wait a second.
Who said I was in a rush?
That's very good.
Isn't that amusing?
Ah, no, no. Don't get up.
We were getting
worried about you.
We certainly were.
Well, I'm sorry,
but I had trouble getting
through to our sitter.
But you did. Oh,
yes. Everything's fine.
Good. For the most part.
Well, I'm delighted you
found your little love nest
in such good order.
Meanwhile, we have a
little surprise of our own.
Haven't we, Stephens?
Yes, honey. While
you were on the phone,
Mr. Springer agreed
to renew the account.
Oh, that is a happy surprise.
And I'm just about
to put a call through
to Larry Tate right now
and give him the good news.
Excuse me.
Larry Tate?
Alvin just can't
wait to tell him
how fond we are of both of you.
Oh, heh, that's nice.
Now, what's the matter, honey?
Nothing. Nothing at all, Darrin.
Hm.
Hello?
Speaking.
It's Springer.
Darrin's really fouled
things up this time.
Well, hello there, Mr. Springer.
Now, I know why you're calling.
I just found out myself
that Stephens couldn't
bring his wife along.
His wife couldn't make it, eh?
But I can assure you that
she was brokenhearted.
You may as well
know the worst, Tate.
Stephens had the colossal gall
to bring along some
blond he picked up.
And he introduced
her as his wife.
What?
Mr. Springer, I... I...
I can't believe that.
Well, frankly, that's not
the sort of man I want
to represent Springer
Pet Food to the public.
And I shouldn't think
it's the kind of man
you'd want in your employ.
Right, Mr. Springer,
on both counts.
But I hope it's not going
to affect our relationship.
Not at all. Oh, thank you.
Because as of this moment,
our relationship has ended.
Mr. Springer. Uh,
wait. Just... Just let...
Hello?
Ah, did you reach Mr. Tate?
I did.
I bet he flipped
when you told him.
Oh, he flipped all right.
Mrs. Stephens,
you haven't told us
anything about your home life.
I'm sure Mrs. Springer
would be interested.
Well, what would
you like to know?
Uh, we have one child,
a girl. A very nice house.
That keeps me
busy most of the time.
Does it?
Young lady, you're one
of the coolest numbers
I've ever run into.
I beg your pardon?
It's a little late for that now.
My dear, at the risk of
offending your delicate ears,
with the height of
gross indecency...
this lady is not Mrs. Stephens.
Oh!
What do you mean?
What's he talking about?
Uh, n-now, now, Darrin.
And don't deny it.
Tate just told me.
Huh?
The nerve!
Come along, my dear.
I'm sure you want to
go home and lie down.
Oh, yes, dear.
I feel one of my
migraines coming on.
Goodbye, Mr. Stephens.
Goodbye, Miss Whoever-You-Are.
What'd he mean?
What's he talking about?
Well, sweetheart.
I think I know.
Remember when it was
your idea that I call the house?
Mm-hm.
W-well, while I was checking,
Louise dropped by.
Louise?
Dropped by?
Out there in the phone booth?
No. In there. In our front hall.
You mean, you... Oh.
And Louise told Larry,
and Larry told Springer.
Oh, Sam, why didn't
you use the phone?
Well...
Oh, no. The phone.
Oh, the phone.
The phone.
Oh. Well, hello.
Well, aren't you
home a little early?
We're home a lot early.
There was a slight
change in plans.
So slight it's too
horrible to mention.
Hello, sweetheart.
Aunt Clara, Darrin
may lose his job.
Oh, I think that's splendid.
Then you'll be able to
spend more time at home.
Oh, I'm happy for you.
And if I have
helped in any way...
Aunt Clara...
I think maybe you'd better
take Tabatha upstairs.
Oh, yes. Ha-ha.
Come along, dear.
Oh, I just knew this was
going to be a lucky weekend
for both of you.
Sweetheart... she meant well.
Yeah.
You know, this may
be the best thing
that's ever happened to me.
It's time I made a change.
Darrin, when you talked
to Larry on the phone,
he didn't come right
out and fire you, did he?
No. He's waiting
till I call him back,
then he's going to fire me.
Now, Darrin, I know Larry.
Now, I bet he's sitting
at home right this minute,
just feeling terrible
about the whole thing.
You really think so?
Of course, he does need me.
As a matter of fact,
I'm indispensable.
In the advertising business,
men of my caliber
are very hard to find.
He can't afford to fire me.
Hello?
Oh, hi, Larry. How are you?
Did I tell you?
How's everything, Lar?
Fine, Darrin, just fine.
Now that I've got the
Springer account back.
You got the account
back. That's terrific, Lar.
How'd you do it?
Oh, it was easy.
I just promised Springer
you'd never set foot
in our office again.
Uh, w... Uh, wait a minute.
Wait... Wait a minute, Larry...
So first thing tomorrow, come
in and clear out your desk,
before Springer
arrives from Chicago.
Now he wants me to come
in and clear out my desk
first thing tomorrow.
Oh, dear.
And I'm glad.
Glad?
At least we don't have to come
up with a logical explanation
of what happened in Chicago.
That's true.
Um, sweetheart...
could I go with you tomorrow?
What for?
W-well, I have to take, uh,
Tabatha shopping and so, uh...
Do you mind?
Okay.
Anyway, it's nice having
your loved ones with you
when you're
walking the last mile.
Oh.
Martini?
Two. Oh.
Yes, sir. I'll tell
him, Mr. Tate.
Mr. Springer...
Mr. Tate says he'll
be down momentarily.
Huh. About time.
Well, Mr. Stephens, how are you?
How are you, Mrs. Stephens?
Fine, Charlie.
And look who's here.
My, but you're
getting to be a big girl.
You know, Mrs. Stephens,
the way she's growing up
is enough to scare you.
And what a doll.
Yeah, she's the
spitting image of you.
Thank you, Charlie.
Well, I got to get back to work.
Mr. Stephens... Mrs. Stephens.
Goodbye. Good day.
Stephens! Hold it
a minute, will you?
Mr. Springer.
Then I did hear
right. This is your wife.
Believe it or not.
But I don't understand.
Darrin, how dare you
confront Mr. Springer.
I'm sorry, sir. I told him...
It's all right,
Tate. It's all right.
I'm just trying to clear
up a little confusion.
Oh, boy. You mean, it's,
uh, all out in the open, huh?
I'm sorry, Sam. I... I
tried to keep it from you.
What?
Tate, I think you're
the one who's confused.
This is the Mrs. Stephens
who was in Chicago.
The real Mrs. Stephens.
Huh? But Loui...
Louise said... I
don't understand.
Will somebody please tell
me what's going on here?
Mr. Springer...
we enjoy socializing
with my husband's clients,
not because we feel
we're obligated to,
but because we want to.
Now, my husband feels
very strongly about that.
Don't you, dear?
Uh, yes! Of course.
So when we created
that little misunderstanding
about who he was with,
he thought that your
attitude was out of line,
and you didn't
deserve an explanation.
Is that a fair
statement, sweetheart?
Yes. I would say
that was very fair.
I think.
We purposely made you think
that Samantha wasn't my wife,
just to see how you'd react.
Right, Lar?
He's crazy. They're
both crazy. My wife...
Shut up, Tate. I'd
like to hear more.
Oh, yes. Ha-ha. So would I.
Uh, go on Stephens,
by all means.
Uh, McMann and Tate
is, uh, one of the busiest
advertising firms
in the country.
They're in demand.
And we just... They
just don't have time, uh...
fooling around with people
who are more interested
in prying into their
employees' lives,
than in the job
they do for them.
Are you saying you
don't want my account?
Uh, he didn't say that.
You didn't say that.
Did you, Darrin?
No, I'm saying we
want your account,
but we don't need it.
And that represents
your point of view too?
Oh, no. I should say not.
Too bad.
Because I think it's a
kind of a unique attitude.
Takes guts.
That's it. Guts. Guts
and imagination.
You might say that's the
hallmark of our entire backbone.
So to speak.
All I'm really saying is,
if we deliver the goods...
And I believe we have.
What else matters?
I like his style. Put
him back on the payroll.
He was never really off. Ha-ha.
Oh, I was just trying to throw
a little scare into him. Ha-ha.
Thanks, old buddy.
Well, his kind
doesn't scare easily.
And I wouldn't want to have
him on the opposing side.
Mm. Well... it's nice
to have you two back
in the Springer Pet Food family.
And you too, sweetheart.
Hi.
Well, I guess that cancels
our luncheon appointment date.
I've got to take Mrs.
Springer shopping.
Now, why don't we all
meet tonight at my hotel,
and we'll finalize the deal.
Great.
Bye-bye.
See you tonight, Mr. Springer.
All right, Tate. Thank you.
Bye-bye.
Darrin, forgive me.
I-I must be going
out of my mind.
No, I take it back.
It's Louise who's
going out of her mind.
Oh, now, Larry.
Don't you go blame it on Louise.
Why not? No question
about it, she's crazy.
How could she be crazy?
She married you, didn't she?
That's true.
Well, uh, we're going to
take Tabatha shopping.
Uh, wait a minute, Darrin.
Why didn't you
tell me the truth?
I was testing you.
Oh!
Oh, good morning,
Aunt Clara. Sleep well?
Oh, not particularly.
I've been so worried
about that poor Mrs. Tate.
Is she any better?
Well, I'm expecting
her over any minute.
And I think I can
straighten her out.
With a little help.
Excuse me.
I hate to impose, Serena,
but you do owe
me a favor or three.
Well, well, well.
What happened to
all your mortal values?
I thought it wasn't nice to lie.
Well, this is just
a little white lie.
And for a good purpose.
Oh, I see.
In your mortal world, all you
need is a good reason to lie.
Yes. N-no. I mean,
uh... Oh! There she is.
N-now, Serena, please cooperate.
Oh, very well. But
this settles our account.
Oh, uh... I have to
make a few changes.
Mm.
Yuck!
Aunt Clara, if that's Louise,
I want to talk to
her alone, okay?
Hi, Louise. Come on in.
Can't stay long. Have to
be at the psychiatrist at 9.
Well, you have time
for a cup of coffee.
Good morning, Aunt Clara.
Hi.
Aunt Clara, I think I
heard the baby cry.
You did? Well, I didn't
hear the baby cry.
Aunt Clara...
Oh! Oh, I think I
hear the baby crying.
Louise, I thought if you
dropped by here first,
you might not have to
go to the psychiatrist.
Oh, I certainly
do. Larry insists.
And frankly, after what
happened, I don't blame him.
Oh, Samantha, I just
can't apologize enough
for all the trouble
I've caused you.
Louise, I'd like you
to meet somebody.
Come on in!
Is she...?
It's my cousin, Serena.
Do you mean, when I dropped
by here the other day that she...
That's right.
Well, why didn't you
tell me who you were?
You didn't ask me.
Uh, Louise...
I'm afraid Serena
was playing games.
When we were children,
we used to love to fool people.
And... well, Serena
would like to apologize.
Wouldn't you?
If you say so.
What a relief. I'm going
right home and tell Larry.
Well, I'm glad
it's all cleared up.
I'll walk you to your car.
Good morning, sweetheart.
Good morning. Who was that?
Louise.
Were you able to
straighten her out?
Yes, I think she'll be okay now.
Where's my good-morning kiss?
Right here.
Hey!
And don't ever try
that again, Serena.