Beverly Hills, 90210 (1990–2000): Season 8, Episode 26 - All That Glitters - full transcript

Okay, so I'm a little nervous.

I don't see why. Why?

Kel, this guy's one of

the hottest journalists
in the country.

No, you are the hottest
journalist in the country.

I'm serious.

Will you relax!

Shoot! You know more about
this stadium than the guys

who are building it.

Proposing to build it.

Right. Sorry.



You told me a hundred times.

I'm sorry... Peter
Raitt is coming out here

specifically to talk to me.

He's read my stories;
he thinks I'm an expert.

Well, you are... and
after listening to you,

so am I. I've been
talking about it that much?

Only obsessively.

Excuse me for taking
my job seriously.

And what's that
supposed to mean? I don't?

My job's not as
important as yours?

Kel, not now, please.

I've got to go look
over my notes.

Don't let me stop you.

Oh...



Last night was one for
the record books. Mmm.

I don't want to
hear about it, Steve.

Guess how many rounds.

Four.

Four? Four full rounds!

In a 12-hour
period, I might add.

You know, Steve,
she was supposed

to stay for a night;
she's been here a week.

I know.

Can you blame her?

Yeah.

Morning, Brandon.

Steven. Mm. Mm.

Mm-hmm.

You're not gonna eat that?

I'm not?

No. I'm making
you a real breakfast.

Ooh.

Is she great or what?

What.

Jealous.

Can I get your keys?

Your car's blocking mine.

Oh, yeah, I'll
move it. I'll move it.

I know how
valuable your time is.

You just have to do
this today, don't you?

Keys. Fine, if you want

to be pissed, be pissed.

I'm not having this
argument with you.

God forbid... you have
more important things to do.

Have a nice day. Oh, you, too.

I hope your meeting is glorious.

How could it not be,
with support like that?

You want support that'll
never let you down?

Buy a jock.

Copy that.

Have you seen my black pumps?

Why don't you try under here.

Well, I would love to,

but I have a meeting
downtown in 20 minutes.

Try this on.

Ooh. Wow.

Oh, my God, Noah.

It's beautiful.

Why don't you move in with me.

What?

I mean, it's crazy the way we
go back and forth all the time.

That's a really
sweet offer, seriously,

but I can't do it.

Okay, why?

Done it before, the
whole moving-in thing.

Never works out.

Yeah, with David, not with me.

Yeah, but...

I kind of made a
promise to myself:

Next time I move in with
someone, it'll be forever.

Here you go.

I didn't ask for it back.

I just figured...

Look, I understand if you
don't want to move in with me.

I don't agree with
it, but I understand.

This bracelet, it's...

it's so beautiful.

It's so extravagant.

Well, it's yours.

I don't want any
arguments here, okay?

Thank you.

I love it.

I love you.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ You call me ♪

♪ I call you ♪

♪ I see you ♪

♪ Every day at school ♪

♪ I'm hoping ♪

♪ That you get this clear ♪

♪ 'Cause while you're whining ♪

♪ All I hear is ♪

♪ Yada, yada, yada ♪

♪ Yada, yada, yada ♪

♪ Yada, yada, yada ♪

♪ Wah, wah, wah ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh... ♪

That's beautiful.

Mm, glad you like it...
I'm writing it for you.

Well, that's sweet.

You know, it's funny, I just
got another royalty check

from the song I did
for Jasper's Law,

I'm writing my own music, and...

basically, I'm doing
whatever I want to do,

and for the first time,

in a long time, I...

I-I feel like I'm headed in
the right direction, you know?

David, I'm happy for you.

I'm happy for us.

Even though I'm the one
who's doing your taxes.

Hey, hey, you
offered... Don't forget.

I know.

Oh, listen, guess
who I met today?

Who? Kyle Scott.

Who's he?

He's the one who won all
those film festivals last year.

He's, like, one of the hottest
new filmmakers right now.

And he wants to meet you.

Really? Why?

Because he's a big
fan... He loves your music,

and he wants to work with you.

And I kind of slipped
him your tape,

and you have a
meeting with him today.

Wait a second.

First you get me a record deal,

then you do my taxes,

and now you set me
up to score a movie?

You know, I really
might have to think of

some way of saying thank you.

Well, you already have.

Hmm.

Kelly, Kelly, talk to my mom,

tell her I can stay.

Please tell her I can stay.

What's going on, Chris?

My schedule's been changed.

I can't drive Chris to
work at night anymore.

I don't care.

I have to have my own job.

If I don't, I won't be able

to get my own apartment.

And if I can't do
that, I'll be mad!

Okay, you can't come

to the night shift anymore...
What about the day shift?

Can you drive
Chris during the day?

I really can't discuss
this right now.

I'm late for work.
Come on, honey.

Let's go.

You know, I could call

the director and see
if there is a day job.

Chris,

do you want me to get fired,
and we both lose our jobs?

I'm not leaving.

Okay, why don't I just call
and see if the director's in?

I know you're trying
to help, Ms. Taylor,

but you aren't.

So, please, if you don't mind...

Okay.

Don't worry, everything's
gonna be okay.

You promise?

I promise.

Kelly will make it all right.

Yes?

David! Hey.

Hey, what's happening,
man? How's it going man?

Good to meet you.
Good to meet you, too.

I've got to tell you, man,
I love that song of yours.

Got some serious airplay.

Yeah, yeah, I got my
15 minutes of fame.

Believe me, I know
what that's like.

So, man, they must
be throwing deals

at you left and right, huh?

Yeah, well, there's
been a couple.

But to be honest with you,

I'm really trying to make
my own thing, you know?

You know what, I feel you...

I've been thinking
the exact same thing.

Except for this film thing...
I mean, that sounds cool.

Film?

Yeah, Valerie told me.

It's a commercial, not a film.

A commercial? Yeah.

Dry & Happy Deodorant...
A national spot.

We're talking about
some serious cash flow.

Um... I'm sorry, I-I thought...

Visuals are already shot.

Why don't you take a
look, see what you think.

All right, thanks.

Hey, David.

Yeah?

Everybody's got to eat.

Yeah.

Thanks.

Ooh, you weren't kidding.

This is the most
beautiful bracelet

I've ever seen.

Ooh, ladies' lunch?

I didn't get my invitation.

Wow! Is that from Noah?

No, I just ran out
and bought it myself.

Can I see it?

Wow, it's beautiful.

Looks like an antique.

I'd say they're worth,
mm, ten, twenty grand.

Ten, twenty thousand?

Well, give or take a little...
But we are talking about Noah.

Well, I don't really
care what it costs.

Well, the value of a diamond is

the perfect indication
of a man's affection.

That is absurd... what if your
man can't afford diamonds?

That's something only you
should worry about, Kelly.

Ooh, I think someone's
a little jealous.

No, unlike you,
I'm just curious.

Anyway, I think that you should

have it appraised,
get some insurance.

I mean, this is L.A.

I don't know, that
seems so shallow.

I know a jeweler.

I'll set it up for you.

Well, ladies...

I got to go back to work.

Her pimp must've paged her.

You're younger than
I thought, Brandon.

Well, so are you, to be honest.

With all the awards
you've won...

You thought I was gonna
be some gray-haired old man.

Yeah, sort of.

Well, I got an early start.

I started working at The
Times when I was 19.

No kidding, you started
working at The Times

when you were 19, huh? Mm-hmm.

Of course, you know the drill,

I had to do all
the local stories,

the human-interest
pieces, nothing important.

I know what you're saying.

I've been at the same weekly
paper for some time now.

What keeps you there?

So, about the stadium.

I'm all for bringing
professional football

back to Los Angeles, but
I don't think the taxpayers

should have to pay for it.

That's pretty clear
from your articles.

Which are
first-rate, by the way.

As you can see, I did
do quite a bit of research.

You mind if I borrow this?

In exchange for a
shared byline, of course.

You and me? Shared byline?

News Today?

What do you say?

It depends.

Whose name comes first?

Mine.

Okay, twist my
arm, you got a deal.

Hi, Kelly. Hi.

You want to see my collection?

I've got all the
Kings... I even got

the Zamboni card. Oh, wow,

very impressive.

Hi.

I have great news.

Not only is there
a day job open,

but Chris can start tomorrow.

Uh, don't you think

you should have talked
to me about this first?

Well, that's what I'm doing.

Working the night
shift is one thing.

Working the day shift,
with all the added pressures

of being in a crowded clinic,

it's an entirely
different matter.

I know, but...
No, no, you don't.

Chris is the kindest,
sweetest person on the planet,

and he'd run over
hot coals for you.

But he's slow.

He needs extra help.

That's why he had
a job coach before.

Why would I want to
put him in a situation

where he might get overwhelmed?

I would never let
anything like that happen.

No, not intentionally.

Honey,

Kelly has gotten you

a day job at the clinic.

What do you think about that?

Really?

Can I? Can I, please?

I can do it.

I can do that.

Don't worry.

Everything will be
great, I promise.

I redecorated a bit.

You don't mind?

No.

Huh.

Wow.

I can change it back.

This stuff is all returnable.

Nah.

It's great. It's...

Where'd my Shaq poster go?

The basketball poster?

You want me to put that back up?

You didn't throw it away, right?

I mean, that was a signed piece.

It's in your closet, silly.

I would never throw
anything of yours away.

Now make love to me, Steven,

on our new satin sheets.

Satin?

Uh-huh.

I can't believe I let
you talk me into this.

Oh, come on, you
know you want to know.

For insurance purposes only.

Right. Why else?

So how much do you
think they're worth?

Oh, roughly 20, maybe 25.

Thousand, right?

No, these are paste.

Not even cubic zirconia.

I'm, I'm really sorry

to disappoint you.

Either your boyfriend
was seriously misled or...

Or he doesn't love you as
much as you think he did.

Look, I know

how Noah feels about me.

It doesn't matter whether
this thing is real or not.

Thank you.

I'll be right back.

You know, I almost believe you.

Hey. Hey, how'd it go?

Uh, it wasn't a film.

It was a commercial.

A deodorant commercial.

Who do you think

I am, Valerie, huh?
Some hack musician

that's willing to do
anything for a buck?

David, I'm sorry. I didn't know,

I swear.

But what's wrong with
doing a commercial?

I don't do armpit music.

That's what's wrong.

Do me a favor, okay?

Don't do me any more favors.

The white form goes

in the blue file.

Mm-hmm.

The yellow form
goes in the red file.

And the carbon
goes in the trash.

Very good.

Think you can
handle another job?

Lay it on me.

Okay.

You see that file
cabinet over there?

Top copy goes in the top drawer,

the bottom copy goes
in the bottom drawer.

Top in the top and
bottom in the bottom.

You're the best.

Here you go.

Your Zamboni card.

This is your favorite.

I want you to have it.

Thank you.

I'll take good care of it.

Thank you.

For everything.

She stuck Shaq in the closet?

Oh, yeah. But that
thing is autographed.

Tell me about it.

And the sex... ah!

Right in the middle
of a good bounce,

she stops to relight a
candle that blew out.

I think she's more in love with

the idea of being
in love than with me.

Steve, you suffer, I suffer.

Thanks. Why don't
you say something?

I-I'm going to.

I'd start with the
"Steven" thing.

She calls you Steven?

I already spoke
to her about that.

Steven? Mm.

Hi. Hey.

Mmm.

I have a surprise
for you. What's that?

I got us tickets to the opera.

Madame Butterfly!

You haven't seen it. Me?

Not yet.

You do like opera?

Because I don't
want to force you.

Oh, yes, I love opera.

Good.

Oh, Steven's a big fan.

Hey.

Look, um, I know it
wasn't your fault, okay?

And I'm sorry.

David, if I would have known...

Forget about it.

I want to take you to lunch.

I just got another royalty
check from Jasper's Law.

Well, I-I hope it's
a really big one.

Uh-oh.

Uh, those wouldn't be my taxes?

Yeah.

You know when you sold your
half of the After Dark to Noah?

Well, you never paid taxes

on the money you
loaned yourself as salary.

So?

But he assumed all debt

when he bought me out.

And when he did,

the loans became debt
forgiveness income.

Okay, how much?

About $8,300.

That's impossible.

There's got to be...

David, I've been
over this and over this.

Well, Val, I can't
afford this much.

Well, how much was
your royalty check for?

$975.42.

One step forward
and two steps back.

Brandon, it's nice of
you to include me, but...

Oh, wait, here he is.

Hey, Peter, how
you doing? Brandon.

This is, uh, Kelly Taylor. Hi.

Kelly, good to meet you.

Nice to meet you.

So you're never gonna
guess where I just came from.

Where? Tom Rosen's house.

I've been trying to get a
meeting with Tom for weeks.

How'd you swing that?
Turns out, the guy's

a fan of my work, I guess.

No accounting for taste.

Uh, Tom's one of the wealthiest

developers in the country.

He owns a hockey
team, basketball team.

Right, the guy who's
building the stadium.

Yeah. Did you pin him down on

what his proposed enterprise
zone is gonna cost the city?

I'm working on it.

He's taking me up in the
Gulfstream this afternoon.

So how about you?
Did you get that info?

Yeah.

Comparisons from
the last five years,

every new stadium built in
a major metropolitan area.

Numbers don't look pretty.

Excellent.

Excellent!

It's going to be a hell
of a story, Brandon.

Could be the cover.

Cover of News Today.

But remember,

my name comes first.

So, I think I have a
good idea for a story.

She's a gold mine.

There's this guy
at work... Chris.

He's developmentally
disabled, but he works full-time.

He does a great job.

He's thinking of moving
into his own place...

This supportive living apartment

with a team to help
him and everything.

It's really amazing.

Does sound like a good story.

Little soft for my taste.

But you're right.

I mean, it's, it's interesting,

it's heartfelt.

For a human interest piece.

What do you think?

You want to meet him?

I'm sure he'd love to.

He's a hockey fan, like you.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

I'll, uh, I-I'll see him
sometime next week.

Okay.

Um, Peter, it was
nice meeting you.

I have to get
back to the clinic.

Excuse me.

Kel, why are you
leaving so soon?

Don't patronize me, Brandon.

So the guy's a little arrogant.

He's won two Pulitzers.

He didn't want to talk to me.

That is not what was happening.

No, you were just too
busy sucking up to notice.

Okay, okay, that's it.

Was that okay?

Was I allowed to do that?

Oh, it was fine.

Oh, good.

'Cause I was worried.

No, don't worry.

You're great with kids.

Chris, did you file these?

Because I found these
in the patients' folders.

I asked you a question, Chris.

I thought you said
I was doing good.

No, you are.

We just need to know if you...

Made a mistake, right?

Don't you make mistakes?

Yes.

Nobody's blaming you, Chris.

The drawer was full.

There wasn't any room.

I didn't know what to do.

Then you ask somebody.

It was my fault.

I didn't explain.

My mom was right.

This job's too complicated.

Just fire me.

No, no, nobody
is gonna fire you.

Leave me alone! Chris.

Just leave me alone!

Chris.

Chris, come back.
This wasn't your fault.

It wasn't his
fault, it was mine.

No, no, don't-don't
take it off yet.

Why?

Because...

Go on, open it.

They're a set.

Oh, Noah.

Let me help you with it.

I don't know much about jewelry,

but they really look
beautiful on you.

You shouldn't have.

I mean it, you
really shouldn't have.

You don't like them?

No, I love them.

But you don't need
to buy me jewelry

to show how you feel about me.

But I think it's a
perfect reflection

of how I do feel about you.

You do?

Yeah.

That's why I gave them to you.

You know?

The voices were
incredible. Heavenly.

Hey. How was Madame Butterfly?

Ah, staggering.

I never wanted to see it end.

Yeah, it was
great. You hated it.

Oh, what are you talking about?

Okay, if you liked it that much,

I have the CD upstairs.

Oh.

Hey, where you been?

I've been calling you.

Out looking for Chris.

Who's Chris?

The guy I told
you about at lunch.

Oh.

I gave him too much to do.

He had a meltdown,
he went running off.

Did you find him? Yeah, finally.

At the restaurant where
his mom waitresses.

But I just looked at
them through the window.

I didn't have the
guts to face her.

Why?

Because I blew it.

I promised her that nothing
would go wrong, and it did.

You were just trying to help.

Yeah.

I don't know.

It's more than
that, it's everything.

It's us.

I just feel like...

we're headed in
different directions.

Different directions?

I have eyes, Brandon.

I can see how badly you
want a career like Peter's.

And I don't want
to hold you back.

I feel like I already did

when I got shot, and you turned
down that job in San Diego.

I know that that
was because of me.

I have no regrets
about that decision.

I love you, Kelly.

I know that you love me,

but I also know that
you love your work.

Is there something
wrong with that?

No, no.

It's just painful knowing
that you're not happy here

with what you're doing.

I never said I was unhappy.

You don't have to, Brandon.

It's written all over your face.

Yes, the line will
definitely be ready.

Can you hang on
a second? Thanks.

Hey! Where's Kelly?

Well, she's where she
is everyday: at work.

I'm on the phone here.

Well, will you give
her this? I found it

in my laundry.

She must have left
it over at Brandon's.

You came all the way over
here just to return a sweater?

Why else?

Huh. You're pathetic.

Well, speaking
of pathetic, uh...

What did Noah say
when you told him

his rocks were worthless, huh?

I didn't. Now, I'm on the phone.

Afraid of what he might say?

Look, I'm sorry to disappoint
you, Val. Noah loves me.

In fact, he asked me
to move in with him.

Well, why buy the cow when
you can get the milk for free?

Hello? Hi.

I am so sorry. Yeah.

Can you just hang on
a few more moments?

Yeah, the termite
inspector is here.

Mm-hmm. Thanks.

What's this?

Ooh. More paste, huh?

One, hands off.

Two, how do you
know they're fake?

Well, why don't we get
it appraised and find out?

Why don't you, I don't
know, get the hell out of here?

Aren't you sensitive?

Look, I'm just
trying to help out.

You don't want to fool
yourself into thinking

that Noah cares about you
more than he really does.

Right. Well, Val, thank
you so much for dropping by.

Oh, don't forget your
broom on the way out.

See you later. Mm-hmm.

Hi, I'm so... Hello?

Hello?

So I'm going with Rosen to
watch the Kings work out tomorrow.

See if I can get him to
open up a little bit more.

You should come. Man
said we could get on the ice.

Skate with the Kings? I
might just take you up on that.

Do. And you wouldn't be opposed
to me mentioning your name

to some of my editor friends
back in New York, would you?

Opposed? No, I don't think so.

Good.

See you later. See you.

That was Peter Raitt.

Yeah, gracing our humble rag.

Mm-hmm. What an honor.

Is something wrong, Steven?

Yeah, something's
wrong, Brandon.

I've got to break up with Jill.

She wants to take
me to the ballet.

The ballet? Not good.

So, why don't you
just break up with her?

Well it's not as
easy as that, Janet.

There's feelings involved.

She's crazy about me.

Oh, I think you're missing
the big picture here, Steven.

Oh?

You see, you actually

have the opportunity

to break up with a woman
before she breaks up with you.

This could change your life.

You've never broken
up with someone?

Of course I have. And if you
call me Steven one more time...

Then name one, Stevie.

Mm...

I'm not going to submit to
this kind of pressure tactic.

Well, I actually think

it's very sweet.

Sweet, maybe.
Pathetic, definitely.

I've got to break
up with this woman.

The only question is, how?

I'm so sorry for what
happened, Mrs. Meyers.

You have to know it
was my fault, not Chris'.

No, it wasn't all your fault.

I let you talk me into it.

Is there any chance that he'll
be coming back to the clinic?

Well, it's, uh...
really up to Chris.

ANNOUNCER: What a shot. Goal!

How did he get to be
such a big hockey fan?

His brother played hockey...

Used to take him to
the ice rink all the time...

But he lives in Boston now.

Chris misses him a lot.

Unfortunately, there are
no teams for guys like Chris.

You know, Miss
Taylor, my son has had

his fair share of
disappointments,

and I really don't want
him to have any more.

I'm sorry.

Listen, Jill.

I've been doing
a lot of thinking.

And I care about you deeply.

But I'm in a stage in my life

where I just can't
commit to one woman.

No. Don't go there.

You need to keep
it focused on her.

Okay. Okay.

Um...

Look, I care about
you an awful lot,

but we can't be
together any longer.

I'm sorry we have to break up.

But Steven, you
can't. I love you.

I know.

I know it-it's gonna be hard.

Probably the hardest
thing you'll ever have to do,

but I want you to
forget about me.

The hardest thing
you'll ever have to do?

Mm... Too much?

Yeah. You want
to keep it simple.

Okay? Just straightforward.

Hmm.

Listen, Jill...

I've been doing
a lot of thinking.

This sounds serious.

It is.

And...

Uh...

I don't want to go
to the ballet tonight.

Okay. Can I ask why?

Because...

I feel terrible about this.

You forgot, didn't you?

It's okay.

You are present enough.

Happy one-month anniversary.

One-month anniversary?

You remembered?

Open it.

Do you like it?

Do I like it?

I love it.

Ugh. What now?

Well, I have something
else to return.

I had it appraised for you.

You stole my necklace?

It's fake, just
like the bracelet.

I should have you arrested.

Don't displace your anger on
me. It's Noah who's taking you

for a fool. Get out of here.

You're going to thank
me one day. Out!

Tomorrow is going to
be so great, Brandon.

You should have heard
how excited Chris was

when I called him.

How about his mother?
Well, she's skeptical.

But she knows how
much it would mean to him

to get on the ice
with the Kings.

You sure it's okay?

Yeah. I checked with
Peter this afternoon.

He said it was fine.
The more the merrier.

I just don't understand
where he is.

I mean, he said to meet
him here an hour ago.

He had something
important to tell me.

Oh, here he is.

Hey, Peter. What's going on?

Brandon. Kelly. How are you? Hi.

Uh, sorry to keep you waiting,

but you're never going to
believe what just happened.

A source close to the President

is going to resign, and he's
going to reveal his reasons

to me, and only me.

All right? I mean this is
way too juicy to pass up,

so I got to catch a
plane for D.C. I'll call you.

Peter?

Taxi.

Hey, Peter.

What about our story?

I'm going to have to put this
one on the back burner, Brandon.

It was good working
with you, though.

And, uh, sorry about
the skating thing.

But we already told
Chris that he could go.

Yeah. What can I say?

I owe you one.

Peter, you can't
do this to the kid.

You want me to give up
the biggest scoop of the year

so your retarded
friend can go skating?

I think that would be
the right thing to do, yeah.

Well, I misjudged you, Brandon.

I thought you were
a real journalist.

I thought you knew
about priorities.

Don't say it.

I told you so.

Is that Beethoven or Mozart?

No, it's armpit music, actually.

Oh.

You are doing the
commercial, huh?

Do I have a choice?

Well, considering that
it's almost April 15th,

and the IRS can severely
screw up your life...

No, not really.

Well, then, it's
armpit music for me.

I call this little ditty, "Don't
Cry, Just Keep Me Dry."

Very catchy.

Oh, there's more
where that came from.

Look, David, there's no
shame in making a living.

Everybody compromises.

Val, I'm playing "Ode
To An Aerosol" here.

If there was another way...

Well, there isn't, is there?

Noah, I've been trying really
hard to think of a tactful way

to say what I'm about to say.

And I can't, so I'm just
going to come out and say it.

I had the jewelry appraised.

For insurance purposes only.

They're fake. Did you know that?

The diamonds aren't real, but
they're not fake, I assure you.

So, you knew?

Of course I knew.

You think I got ripped off?

But you...

You said that the jewelry
was a perfect reflection

of the way you feel about me.

They're fake.

I'm starting to think
it's more of a reflection

of how you feel about me.

Did you ask me to move in
with you out of convenience?

Don't accuse me of
undervaluing this relationship.

You're the one that's
sitting here trashing it.

What are you talking about?

I'm not the one that gave
you something worthless

and then passed
it off as valuable.

Tell you something.

My grandmother on my
mom's side was dirt poor.

That's the only
jewelry she ever owned.

It was the only
thing she gave to me.

She didn't think
it was worthless.

Neither do I.

I can't believe I'm going
to disappoint him again.

Could he be any more excited?

Hi.

Hi.

Chris woke up at 5:30, bounded
into my room, ready to skate.

He made breakfast
to go for all of us.

Chris, I'm afraid I
have some bad news.

We're not going to be able
to go skating with the Kings.

No skating?

I'm so sorry.

But you promised me.

You promised.

Come on. Go back inside. We'll
find something fun to do, okay?

I want to go skating.
I know, I know.

Hey, guys!

Guys! Who said anything
about not skating?

I happen to know the owner of
one of the least used ice rinks

in Los Angeles. You do?

Yes, I do.

And he told me that he
would clear the ice for me

any time I wanted.
You know what?

I kind of feel like
going skating.

So what do you say

you and I go skate on
our own private rink, huh?

Can we, Mom, please?

Hey, Jill! Hey.

What?

I've tried.

But I can't fool
myself any longer.

What are you talking about?

We don't like the same things.

That's not true.

I love what you did to my room.

Except the Shaq poster; it's
got to come out of the closet.

And the opera?

And the ballet? Well... oh...

I'm infinitely more culturally
enriched because of you.

Please. You're
ambivalent at best.

I am not ambivalent.
I'm just not sure, that's all.

Mm-hmm.

But you know what?
When you call me Steven...

See, don't make this any
harder than it already is.

I will always treasure you.

Oh, Jill, you can't break
up with me over this.

Do you believe this?

Well, you didn't want
to be with her anyway.

That's not the point. It's...

Aw, gosh! I'm like...

I'm like "0 and a lot."

Aw, this is... It's pathetic!
This is really pathetic!

Y-You know what I think?

No. What? I think that

under that thick hide of yours,

you are a very warm and
compassionate person.

Is that what you think?

Mm-hmm.

You just need to
find the right woman.

Someone who appreciates
you for who you are.

Someone that you
could be friends with first.

And-and then lovers.

Yes, that's exactly what I need.

Where am I ever going
to find a woman like that?

I don't know.

Maybe you're just not
looking hard enough.

I'm sorry about everything.

Here.

I didn't ask for them back.

And I can't take them,
not after what I did.

Here.

I just want you to know

that I never wanted to know
how much they were worth.

They just got appraised
on their own, huh?

No.

I told you, I had the
bracelet appraised

for insurance purposes only.

And the necklace... Valerie,

she took that in all by herself.

Valerie?

Yeah.

She wanted to stir the pot.

She succeeded.

Why didn't you tell me

that your grandmother gave them
to you when you gave them to me?

I wanted to, but you didn't
want to move in with me,

so I didn't want
to scare you off

by telling you how
much they meant to me.

My grandma gave
them to me, and she said,

"Give these to
someone you truly love."

That's what I did.

And now I've ruined everything.

Noah...

I need you to believe me.

I didn't care that
they were fake.

I didn't care. I'm sorry.

Hey.

I believe you.

You do?

Come here.

They're more beautiful than
any real diamonds could ever be.

Thank you.

The rink is all
yours, my friend.

I'm even having it
iced down for you.

The Zamboni!

Don't ask me why, but
he loves that machine.

You know, the Zamboni is
possibly the greatest invention

of the 20th century.

I've always wanted
to ride on one myself.

That could be arranged

for another six
months free advertising.

What do you say? You
want to go for a drive?

Yeah.

No, no, no. It's too '70s.

No, no. It's too pop.

No, no. It's too street.

Do you have anything,
uh... more atmospheric,

No, no. Romantic
that type of thing?

I...

I didn't realize this
was going to be so hard.

What made you think
it was going to be easy?

Okay, you know what?

There is one more thing
I've been working on.

Let's hear it.

Hey, that's not bad.

Okay, now here's the problem.

You see...

I didn't write this song
for the commercial.

This is something I
wrote for my girlfriend.

It's kind of personal.
That's why it's good.

Listen all we have to do
is speed up the tempo,

add in a little bass line,

and I think we might
just have something here.

I don't know.

What is there to know?

Nothing. Nothing at all.

I'm excited.

Me, too. Cool.

You know, uh...

a lot of people haven't come
through for Chris, but you have.

And I can't tell you
what that means to him.

And me. Thank you.

Don't thank me.
Look at my boyfriend.

I can't tell who's
having more fun.

What's that?

What, you don't recognize it?

No. Should I?

Wait. That's my song.

Not anymore.

Kyle heard it and
wanted to use it,

and now it's the theme to the
Dry & Happy Deodorant Campaign.

You're meaning to tell me
that the song you wrote me

you're using to sell deodorant?

Val, like you said,

I didn't have a choice.
I needed the money.

But don't you know how
much this song means to me?

It means the same to me.

I'll write you another one.

And what? Sell it to...

I don't know a hemorrhoid
cream company or something?

Well, if it pays enough.

David.

Promise me that you'll never
sell one of my songs again,

no matter how
much they offer you.

What if it's a lot?

David, promise.

Okay, I promise.

Okay.

Thank you. Mm-hmm.

Well, it's official.

The Ice Dome has
hired a new manager

in charge of skate
retrieval and dispensation.

You mean, Chris is going
to be handing out skates

behind the counter? Mm-hmm.

And employees don't
have to pay for ice time.

Wow, you sound a little jealous.

Yeah, free ice
time, Zamboni rides.

Working with kids.
Could be a lot worse.

Now, maybe with this new job,

he'll get to move
into his apartment

sooner than he thought.

Maybe.

Thank you.

No, I think I should
be thanking you.

I was, uh...

I was really down on The
Beat for a minute there.

And you're better now?

Spending a few
days with Peter Raitt

kind of gave me
a new perspective

on what's really important.

Brandon, I know
you have big dreams.

And I think that's great.

I just want to be
a part of them.

If you could just come up with
a couple of good story ideas...

Ow!

Now that one is
going to leave a mark.

Ow.