Beverly Hills, 90210 (1990–2000): Season 8, Episode 27 - Reunion - full transcript

Andrea Zuckerman arrives in town for a visit as the gang prepares to go to their five-year high school reunion at West Beverly High, where she tells Brandon about her troubled life and failed marriage. Meanwhile, Donna becomes jealous about a Rolling Stones magazine article detailing about Noah's single status, which prompts her to sneak away from the dance and to the Peach Pit After Dark to see if Noah will be true to her. Valerie creates a new persona for herself and David in order to fit in at the reunion. Also, Steve lets his macho image he built of himself take over when an old girlfriend, named Rhonda, drives him away from his date, Janet, and leads him into a prank. Elsewhere, Kelly also deals with her past over a former boyfriend, named Ross Webber, that is in attendance.

Why, Noah,

there's a corsage
in my cereal bowl.

It's guilt payment.

What, for not going
to my reunion?

You'd be bored.

Well, it can't be as
boring as working

on the committee with
that Michelle Ashley.

She's a friend.
Besides, I volunteered.

Well, she coerced
you a little bit. So?

She's up to her eyeballs at
Stanford Law. And you get stuck

with all the grunt work, huh?



What have we got here?

Class of '93.

"Where are they now?"

So, hey, hi.

I was wondering...
Did you call back

the fact checker
from Metro L.A.?

Biz kids article? Mm-hmm.

I gave them an
interview... That's enough.

And you're changing
the subject here.

Hmm.

Oh, that pamphlet is just filled

with a bunch of
inside dirt, that's all.

"Alumni: who are they dating,

and where are they now?"



Don't know. Didn't read it.

I remember someone
reading it all last night.

Give it to me. No, no, no, no.

Come on, give it to me.

This could be tasty.

Let's see what we got here.

Ah, we struck gold.

"Donna Martin, our
last vestal virgin."

Noah, come on.

Wait, wait, this is good.

"Most women
spontaneously combust

"if they don't have
sex by the age of 18.

Will Donna come
dressed as a cinder?"

That's good.

You got more here. No.

Really, it's, um, just...

it's kid's stuff.
It's-it's silly.

It's just... see, a
bunch of pages.

It's... oh, my, it's blue.

And it's gone.

Cinder?

That's good.

Ooh, boy.

Angry?

Val, yeah, you're
damn right I'm angry.

David, all I did
was tell the truth.

Val, I write jingles.

Okay, I'm not a rock
star. Well, you were

when I answered
the questionnaire.

I had one hit song, Val.

One, and then I walked away.

David, I didn't know you
were elected most talented.

Obviously not the most
accurate description.

Well, don't you want
them to still think you are?

Val, has it ever occurred to you

that I might find
my lack of success

the least bit humiliating?

Okay.

Say we go to the reunion.

Who would know?

I would, Val. I would.

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"Andrea Zuckerman.

Married, Yale Med."

"Andrea Zuckerman,
heard she had a kid."

"Andrea Zuckerman,
Andrea Zuckerman..."

And the winner is
Andrea Zuckerman.

In '93, you two
might have shared

most likely to succeed,
but in '98, forget it.

Your fellow alumni have
elected her grand pooh-bah.

Anything in there
regarding Kelly Taylor?

Joy... I still rate cutest.

This is a crime?

It doesn't exactly speak

of a future bright
with options. Uh-huh.

Is she in yet?

Uh, Flight 227, arrived early.

Ah. Typical Andrea...
beat us to the terminal.

Early marriage, early baby,

early admission to med school.

Is there anything our
Wonder Woman can't do?

It would appear not.

Jesse, will you
stop shouting at me!

Because I don't want
to be changing diapers

for the rest of my life, okay?

Hey, is it my fault

that you didn't make partner?

Hey. Hi.

Jesse just, uh... he
just made partner.

It's great, honey.

Hi, Hannah.

Yeah, give Mama a kiss.

I love you, too, baby.

Bye-bye.

Hi.

Hey.

It's a tough life,

but somebody's got to live it.

Hi. Whoo!

- You guys look terrific.
- Thanks.

Have you been crying?

Hey, I'm just happy
to see you. Come on.

Let's go.

Get that, babe.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Okay, caterers and booze: check.

Next: last minute ins and outs.

Anyone?

Out-of-towners.

Disaster looming.

Hotel De Lys overbooked.

We've got 50 RSVPs

we hadn't counted
on. Already into it.

Hotel Dauphin said they'd
discount us on 25 rooms.

Well, that still leaves
25 alumni bedless.

Unless they book
at the Benjamin.

Cheaper rate,
breakfast included.

Donna, you negotiated this?

Mm-hmm. At Stanford,

you'd make law review.

First, I'd have to get in.

That's right... They
only sacrifice virgins.

They don't actually accept them.

Oh...

Rumors of my chastity have
been greatly exaggerated.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

Uh, Ned, on my cue

tomorrow night, not before then.

¿Comprende?

Doofus.

Okay, uh,

the Skips fell out,

but Donna lined
up the Azure Blue.

But the alumni are
expecting a name act.

I, uh, took the liberty
of placing a call

- to David Silver.
- Your boyfriend.

So, did you give it up when
his song hit number one?

Well, his...

new girlfriend, Valerie,

assured me he'd be happy to
make an appearance to help us out.

Score two for Donna.

So, that leaves us

with, what, the big speech?

Ken Fox is out.

Family tragedy. Well,

how about Andrea Zuckerman?

Not my fave, but the

"where are we now" stuff

is overflowing with
mushy positives.

All in favor?

Yeah. Sure. Sold.

Okay, now for the serious stuff.

Dates and dish.

Who's coming with what?

Half the good alumni are taken.

Leaving us the unwashed half.

Gee. Um,

has anyone seen L.A.'s

most eligible bachelors '98?

Here's a stud... 23,

millionaire club owner,

Noah Hunter.

- That's my boyfriend.
- Hmm.

That's weird.

Says here he's
single and fancy-free.

Lies.

Unmitigated lies.

My own alumni.

Well, they're just speculating

on what kind of bimbo
you're going to show up with.

"Huge or humongous breasts?"

What kind of
portraiture is that?

Spell portraiture.

Shut up, Janet.

No, all these girls are wrong.

For who? Why don't
you stop worrying

about what everyone else thinks
and just do what you want to do?

Because I want to
prove them wrong.

By pretending that you're
someone you're not?

I'm not a womanizer.

I'm caring.

I'm sensitive.

I'm deep.

You are?

Andrea!

Oh, I was counting
on a sexy hug.

Give me some pictures.

I want to see Jesse,
I want to see Hannah.

Where are the
pictures? Oh, well,

you don't need to really
ask 'cause here they are.

Here's Hannah in
the pumpkin patch.

Wait, go to the next
one. Oh, she's so big.

Isn't she big?

And here she is in the snow.

The rest are self-explanatory.
She's beautiful.

Thank you.

Wow, this looks
like The Front Page.

You guys really
built a newspaper.

It would appear we
found a few readers.

Oh, hand-delivered
every issue, did we?

We have covered some
very serious topics here.

Brandon got an offer
from the Chronicle.

Sweatshops,

gay adoption, teen prostitution.

It's not exactly
cutting-edge medicine

like you're studying at Yale,

but... We've done our part

for mankind.

Well, it looks like
you guys got it all.

We both do.

Oh, except the,
uh, little black book.

Glad to see not
everything has changed.

Ah. ANDREA: Hmm.

Why is my number in
there? This... this is, uh...

this is... I was just
going to chuck this out.

What, you mean the pamphlet

wasn't correct?

You're not coming bimbette
in hand to the reunion?

Andrea, don't insult me.

I'm taking... Me.

I am?

He is?

You are? I am.

I'm... taking Janet.

Janet is our resident
genius and do-gooder.

Uh, Janet, this is Andrea.

Andrea, this is Janet.

Hi. Nice to meet you. Hi.

Nice to meet you.

So, it looks like a, uh, romance
is blooming in the office.

What's up?

You're L.A.'s most
eligible bachelor.

You tell me.

Come again? Don't play innocent.

It's all right there, page 72.

This was supposed
to be an article

on young entrepreneurs.
What is this?

Right, and, uh, the writer
didn't ask you anything

about your social
life. Yeah, I talked

about my social
life. I own a club.

Yet no reference
to your girlfriend.

How convenient.
I talked about us.

Why would I leave you out?

You know what?

This was obviously
voted on in secret.

Beside the point.

It's not beside the point.

Okay, they don't
inform the candidates

ahead of time.

Why are you upset? Because...

it says right here,

"Noah Hunter: single
and free for dating."

No wonder you didn't
want to go to my reunion.

Bobby Mindello, please.

Look, Bobby probably

had her own agenda going, okay?

What? Ex-excuse
me... Her own agenda?

Oh, I didn't know the
writer was a woman.

Uh, yeah, could you hold
on, please? Thank you.

Look, I didn't think it was
worth mentioning, okay?

Yeah, apparently, neither was I.

David.

Ooh, hey, listen, um...

okay, so I-I was thinking.

We should really
go to the reunion.

How about a nice root canal?

No, I mean, the...

the thought of being
anonymous, you know?

♪ Don't buy condoms ♪

♪ Buy Condex ♪

♪ There's a big difference ♪

I mean, I-I...

I could be somebody else.

♪ You'll always get your way ♪

♪ When you're happy to say ♪

♪ Don't buy condoms ♪

♪ Buy Condex. ♪

Well,

what do you think, huh?

It's my, uh, newest jingle.

Actually, I-I was really
talking about the reunion.

This stinks.

You're right... this sucks.

I...

♪ Olé Jose's ♪

♪ Is just for me... ♪
David!

David, David, listen.

What?

I want to go to the reunion.

I really do.

I mean,

the thought of being
somebody else for a change,

and, and now with Donna's call.

Donna's call?

Yeah, the reunion
band fell through

and they hired a backup one,

but they really want
a name act, so...

So? So I,

I volunteered you.

Isn't that great?

I have another one, wait.

Danny Arkadian.

Oh, my God, he was a nimrod.

Wait a minute, who was

Danny Arkadian?

He got his thing stuck in the...

Oh, right, when the
water overflowed.

That guy?

Oh, God, oh, God, look at this.

Janus Kelp.

Uh-huh.

Oh, Andrea, I forgot
to tell you the, uh,

the committee called.

You're making the speech now.

I can't.

I can't do that.

No, Kenny Fox
fell out, you're in.

Come on, you're
the only one qualified.

Andrea, you're a great speaker.

What's wrong? I'm not doing it.

Please, Brandon.

Please.

What's the matter?

I lied.

I'm getting divorced.

You gonna eat those eggs

or just shove 'em
around your plate?

Guess my appetite's
not what it used to be.

So what's up?

Last night you didn't
show up, you didn't call.

I was at the gym.

I had reunion stuff to do.

No.

You're not hungry, remember?

Nat.

You rang, my dear?

Can I have my check, please?

Sure.

Listen to me.

I told the journalist about us.

I did.

What was her name?

Oh, oh, Bobby.

Right?

Look, I didn't even know
they were putting me up

for most eligible
anything, all right?

Take me to the reunion.

Excuse me?

I need a date.

Well, since you
asked me so delicately.

You're kidding me, right?

I mean, it's cool for
me not to go before,

but now I'm supposed to go
because I won some award?

Are you gonna take me or not?

You're asking me for
all the wrong reasons.

Is there a right reason?

No, not if you don't trust me.

Should I?

This is great.

Look, you don't
want to go with me.

You want to go with some
magazine article on your arm.

What about couples therapy?

Tried it, didn't take.

Well, why don't you try again?

Brandon, I went into counseling

a month after I got married.

Okay?

How about a trial separation?

Did that, got back
together, and it failed.

So try again.

Brandon, do you actually think

that I entered into
this divorce lightly?

I'm just thinking about
Hannah, that's all.

Oh, what do you think
I'm thinking about... me?

Look, I dropped
out of medical school

because I'm trying
to keep my daughter

and my marriage together.

It is not working.

I want you to keep this
between you and Kelly.

I can't believe you
dropped out of school.

I'm not getting into this.

Fine, I understand.

Oh, do you?

Since when were you
pregnant and married by 18?

You know, Andrea,
I'm just saying

maybe if you'd focus
on the positives...

Oh, my God, Brandon,

will you just stop with this
New Age Pollyanna stuff?

I mean, what do you
even know about diapers,

money worries, or
erythromycin at 4:00 a.m.?

You've got your
whole life ahead of you.

So do you... you're 22.

Going on 42.

Andrea, I'm just trying
to be your friend on this.

Then stop trying to
second-guess me.

Look, I don't do
school pranks anymore.

Okay, I've changed.

Screwdriver.

Phillips or regular? Phillips.

How?

Well, I go to the ballet now

and I, I read literature.

Have you ever heard
of Call of the Wild?

Do you want me to plug her in?

Yeah, she's perfect.

No.

You'll see.

Look, I'll talk to you later.

Good-bye.

All right.

Whole wheat or nutrition-less?

Think I'll have to go
with the whole wheat.

Okay. Hey, Janet,

thanks for bailing me
out with Andrea today.

Oh,

come on, your
high school reunion?

I can't wait.

I am freaking out, though,
over which dress to wear.

Oh, for appearance sake.

That's important.

Yeah, and I'll be meeting

all your friends.

A girl has to look her best,

you know.

Uh, Janet, we're going
to the reunion together,

but it's not like we're
really going together, right?

Oh, oh, you mean
it's not a real date?

No, no, it-it's a real date.

It's just...

It's just...?

It's a real date.

Toast.

Oh.

David, come on.

Nobody showers for three hours.

Your skin's going to fall off.

David.

David.

Come on, the reunion's not
going to be that bad, I promise.

It'll be the same
as doing jingles.

You could be a rock star again.

Look, Val,

if you want to pretend to
be someone else, that's fine.

Okay, just don't try and drag me

down with you. It
doesn't intrigue you

just a little bit? Yeah,

about as much as Spam.

Look, no one's going
to know the truth, okay?

I mean, I won't be known

as the high school slut anymore.

I mean, I'll be seen
as, as somebody

who's decent maybe,
maybe even lovable.

You know?

I already see you that way.

But no one else does.

But they would

if, if you would just take me.

It really means
that much to you?

Yes.

Okay.

But, uh, you owe me.

What did you have in mind?

Hmm, I'll think of something.

No, not the tub, David.

David.

I saw Janet this afternoon.

She's very excited
about tonight.

Don't blame her.

High times at West Bev.

It's going to be a gas. Mm-hmm.

She's not talking
about the reunion.

What then?

Oh, me?

Yeah, right.

I don't think so. Mm-hmm.

We've already
discussed that. Oh, really?

Michelle, just put
the gravlax on ice.

Thanks.

Nightmare. Limo's here.

Oh, great, all right.

I'm gonna go pick Janet
up at her mom's house

and then I'll come back
for the rest of the posse.

Cool. See you.

Later, brother.

Brandon, I need
help with my zipper.

On my way.

Oops.

Ooh, Donna, you look
great, dressed to kill.

Can you help me
with my pearls? Sure.

So, I see the jewelry,
but I don't see the man.

Well, if you're referring to
Noah, he's not joining us.

Did you have a little tiff?

You know, last week

it was all about the
value of Noah's gifts.

Now you want personal dirt.

When is it enough for you?

Well, I guess if I was
named Most Hunkly Stud,

I'd be out looking
for other women, too.

Oops, saved by the bell.

♪ Buy some nice flowers ♪

♪ Don't be a schlub ♪

♪ With super fresh, super fine ♪

♪ Flowers by Stubb. ♪

Oh... thank you.

You're welcome.

Excuse me, this isn't the
Walsh house by any chance,

is it? Andrea.

Hi. Hey.

How you doing?
Good. How are you?

Oh, you look great. So do you.

I can't believe it's
the reunion. Yeah.

Come on, the last
thing I wanted to do

was piss off Andrea.

So you second-guessed
her to death.

We talked, she disagreed.

Why is it that you always
think you can save the world?

Not the world,
just her marriage.

I see, till death do us part.

It's a vow; I didn't invent it.

Ow! Sorry.

Careful.

Wow! Aw...

Wow. Thanks.

You look... nice.

Thanks.

Um, I was a little late
getting to the flower shop

and they were out
of corsages, so...

Well, here, these are for you.

Oh, uh, carnations.

Thanks, they're,
they're, they're lovely.

Yeah, what are
friends for, right?

Oh, come on, we're
going to be late.

Uh... sorry.

This one is

Hannah in the pumpkin patch.

Aw...

Oh, and this is her first snow.

Isn't she cute? Oh...
She's so adorable.

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah.

Baby's so cute.

Man, again with the pictures.

Brandon, she's proud.

Proud of a failed marriage?

I don't think so; I
think she's afraid.

Did you ever consider
that it might take Andrea

more strength to leave
than it would to stay?

You don't agree?

I never said we live
in a perfect world.

But your ideals exist there.

Don't put me up on a pedestal.

I'm not.

It's usually those
with lofty ideals

that are the first
to sell them out.

It's déjà vu

all over again.

Hey, folks, right here.

It'll only take a second.

Come on, right here.

Yeah, that's it.

Here we go, yes, looking good.

Yes, it's showtime.

Kelly Taylor?

I don't believe it.

April, hi.

You remember Brandon, right?

Yeah, hey, good to see you. Hi.

I'm living up in
Pismo Beach now.

Guess what?

I'm married.

You, Miss Play the Field?

Kel, you'll never guess who.

We literally collided
roller-skating.

Ross?

Ross,

honey, come here a sec.

You married Ross Webber.

Hey, Ross. Brandon Walsh.

We never met.

I got to West Beverly the
year after you graduated,

but as sports editor,

I was certainly aware
of your accomplishments.

Brandon, hey, nice
to meet you. Kel,

still cute as ever, I see.

April, did you tell
these guys how we met?

Yeah. Ross,

what's going on?

Don't forget our drink later on.

All right, count on two, bro.

So, uh, April
mentioned you, Brandon.

You got yourself a
newspaper, right?

Yeah, yeah, actually,
me and my friend S...

Ross Webber.

Excuse me.

You got married?

Yeah, sure did.

Hey.

What's going on?
Why'd you take off?

Uh, I just needed
a little breather.

Look, if this is about Andrea...

No, no, I'm not mad at you.

Okay. BERNIE: Brandon.

Glad to see you,
man. Hey, Bernie.

Hey, how you doing?

You remember Kelly Taylor. Hi.

What've you been doing, man?

Hi!

Hey.

Becky, keep your
entrance ticket.

Your number could win
you a trip to Paris. Mmm.

It's got a nine in it.

It's unlucky.

Oh, you can have mine.

Hi, I'm Valerie Malone,

Disaster Relief LA. Thanks.

Yeah.

So, Donna,

where's this Noah Hunter,

LA's Most Pictoral?

Oh, didn't you hear?

Sir Noah's holding court at
his Beverly Hills hideaway,

The After Dark. He stood you up?

But you'd better
hurry, because every

gold digger in town'll be
lining up to kiss his ring.

Val, you're exaggerating.

Am I?

In my right hand, we have

every airhead in heat
west of Doheny or,

in my left hand, we have
the West Beverly Hills

High School Reunion. Hmm.

Nah,

you know what? He'd
never cheat on you.

Look at the jewelry
he bought you.

Just like her to leave
me with all the loose ends.

Hi. I'm Valerie Malone.

I work with the poor.

Oh.

Hold on, only take a second.

Squeeze closer.

Come on, get a little closer.

Steve, come on man,

put your arm around her.

There you go.

Steve Sanders,

is that you?

Rhonda Mogley?

Mr. Seidel's Chem
Lab, 11th and 12th?

Rhonda?

You look, uh...

you look terrific.

Well, actually,

uh, David and I met at the
"Save The Children Tokyo."

So, David's into it, too? Val.

Hey, I've been
looking for you. Yeah?

Oh, David, tell me. How did all

your rock 'n' roll work
leave time for Save

The Children?

I'm sorry...

I-I was telling Michelle

that, um,

we met while you were
appearing in Tokyo.

Remember?

Tokyo?

David?

Japan?

Yeah, after your Beck concert.

Tokyo.

Right? Remember?

Actually, um,

Valerie's lying.

I-I wasn't

in Japan until after all

my success at
Lollapalooza, not Beck.

I forgot, I forgot,

right. And

how did you find Japan?

Uh... the sushi was fresh.

Yeah.

Biology remember?

The frog thing.

You know you had to take
me to the nurses station.

The frog thing?

Anyway...

So, I, um, heard
about Jay's little prank.

And I've got one of my own.

Oh? You game?

I don't know.

We could, um,

make up for some lost time.

Hmm.

I might like that.

Good.

We'll have some fun.

Toodles.

People, we paid good money

for this band. Let's dance.

Oh, no, no. Dance.

Not me. Okay.

Uh, I don't dance in public.

I always feel like a baboon.

Thanks for the intro to Rhonda.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Come on, let's dance.

Come on.

♪ She can't know ♪

♪ Your desperations
with enough ♪

♪ In line ♪

♪ She holds the power ♪

♪ And the plow... ♪

Big sense of humor?

Jesse? Yeah.

Since when?

Since my daughter
brought him out.

Just like Val brought you out.

Oh, Val

brought me out of my shell?

When you were
headlining in Tokyo.

You know, when you
got that animated film

and Val got you to score it.

Well, David's really

shy about the whole thing.

See, when I was in Tokyo
working with the poor...

Wait, hold on, I'm sorry.

You were working

with the poor in...

In Tokyo?

Yeah.

Really, were you?

It was, uh...

It was one of the outer islands.

Um, after-after the earthquake.

Kobe is not an outer island.

I...

Kelly,

did you, uh...

Did you know about this?

No, no.

Well, actually, it was, um,

a different earthquake.

It was, uh...

Kashawahrwa... Island.

Kashawahrwa?

Island? Wa, yeah.

I never heard of it.

Andrea, you mind

if we look at these pictures
of your daughter again?

Did you see these?

This one... Yeah.

I need another drink.

Thank you. Hi.

See this key? Yeah.

One of two that unlocks
the boys locker room.

Hmm?

Planning a late night
workout, are you?

Planning a, uh,
late night shower.

With you.

A little fantasy enactment.

Make sure the
water's nice and hot.

Mmm. Be back in 15.

Oh. Toodles.

Good God!

I'm sorry, I got hung up

at the, uh, punch stand.

You said this was a real date.

It is a real date, Janet.

It's just not a real, real date.

Oh, Janet...

Janet!

What're you doing out here?

Trying to learn
this stupid speech.

Mmm.

Most useful thing I
learned in high school.

How to run in circles.

Pretty sad, huh?

Not as sad as all that
lying going on in there.

What, you mean, uh,
Steve using Janet?

And Bernie Torgov
and his wheat futures.

Rebecca Delgado
and her film career.

Val and her charities.

All garbage.

And David?

Same poker as Val.

And, uh, me?

I don't understand why you
just can't tell people the truth.

Brandon,

the truth is not that simple.

Those people aren't your
friends? Yeah, they are.

But I thought I
had one true friend.

And when I needed him most,
he made me second-guess myself.

I was only trying to help.

That's right.

You're perfect, you
never make mistakes.

If you don't include
lust, envy, greed, sloth.

I cheated on Kelly.

And you, uh...

You put that in the
paper, you made it public?

Of course not.

Then why should I?

♪ ♪

Fay, the man's got
more money than God.

Just introduce yourself.

No.

The Metro LA piece
said Noah Hunter's

into skydiving, right?

Tell him I'm at the bar,

I sprained my ankle in a jump.

And you reinjured it
crossing the dance floor.

Better.

One look at my stilettos,

plus the skydiving, I'm in.

But you've never
even been skydiving.

No, but I read about it.

No, but I read about it.

I just want to say

it's been peachy
being you tonight.

Thank you.

What kind of crack
is that, Valerie?

Well, I've been playing Miss

Goody Two-shoes all night.

It's been wonderful.

Thank you.

Ooh, "Kelly is a slut."

Must be a different
Kelly, right?

I wish.

Snow White has a past?

Oh, do tell.

You find that amusing, do you?

Ironic.

You of all people ought to know

how something
like that could stick.

How people come
back to haunt you.

Any people in particular?

Ross Webber.

Mr. Congeniality?

Couldn't have missed him.

A couple years
older than everybody.

The just-married guy?

Yeah.

He did this?

He started it.

He was a senior.

I was a freshman.

And one night after a ballgame,
we went up to Mulholland.

And he took me in the bushes.

Tell me it wasn't
your first time.

Over in a minute.

Ross left me in the dirt.

Never talked to me again.

And afterwards, uh, the
whole school knew, huh?

I kinda got a rep
for being easy.

I tried avoiding him.

In the hallways.

And at school events.

After a year or so,
it just sort of faded.

And tonight?

Bastard tried to shake my hand.

♪ ♪

So, let me get this right.

You sprained it jumping
out at Del Monte, huh?

That's right.

And the stiletto heels?

My other shoes hurt too much.

Right, so that'd make 'em
what, six, seven inches high?

Just so you know, Del Monte...
They can pineapples in Hawaii.

The drop zone
you're talking about

is called El Monte.

That's the one. Yeah, well,

they paved it over in 1953.

Nice try.

Thank you.

My cheapest gin.

Goes great with your
see-through blouse.

Jake, my tab,
whatever they want,

then throw them out.

You, too.

Hey.

We've got a two
drink minimum here.

Hi.

I know how this looks.

Yeah, you were jealous, right?

Yeah, it's the article.

I can't believe you were
spying on me in my own club.

That's as chintzy as
that girl's sprained ankle.

And now, straight from

his coast-to-coast
tour of Japan,

West Bev High's
very own rock star,

David Silver.

♪ Na, na, na, na ♪

♪ Baby, it's you, girl ♪

♪ We got it together ♪

Rhonda, is that you?

Damn.

Whatever she's having.

Ross Webber.

Valerie Malone, right?

You work with the poor.

Where did you hear that?

I know people.

Were you talking about me,

or were you purposely asking?

I'm married.

So you did ask.

Tell me... how does
someone like you

come to work in
the charity world?

Well, my coworkers say it
comes from some deep hurt,

usually in your teenage years.

Ah.

You had an experience.

Yeah, in the ninth grade.

Some guy took me into the
bushes and never spoke to me again.

A guy who probably

thinks I forgot.

A guy who blabbed
it to all the other guys.

A guy with a big mouth
and a weak handshake.

An insecure guy,
a lying type of guy.

A guy who's too
stupid to realize

that people are onto him.

Even now.

Maybe even from a
corner in this room.

Rhonda?

Is that you?

Baby, you all lathered up?

Sure am.

Where are you? By the door.

I've been waiting
for this for years.

Does the name

"Gomer" ring a bell?

Gomer?

Uh, no, I... I don't
recall any Gomer.

I never did get over how
you used to call me that.

See, I was a geek.

I had no chest.

But I grew up, didn't I?

I think you're
confusing me with...

With some other
incredibly insensitive jerk?

I don't think so.

But now it's time for revenge.

See, now you can
see how it feels.

Toodles.

My clothes.

Hello, everybody. Quiet down.

The time has come
for tonight's speech.

I give you our valedictorian,
Andrea Zuckerman.

Not up for the big
rah-rah speech, huh?

I've told enough lies as it is.

Well, I'll go public
if you go public.

Blaze me a trail
of imperfection.

Okay.

I know this is, uh...
this is kind of ironic,

me, uh, filling in for Andrea.

'Cause, for most of
my high school career,

I... I wanted to be
Andrea Zuckerman.

Oh, yeah, it's true.

I mean, she was...
she was the brightest,

she was the wittiest,
she got the best grades.

I wanted to live in her shoes.

Unfortunately, they were
about six sizes too small.

You know, listening to all
you guys here tonight, I...

I realize that half of you
want to be someone else, too.

I mean, the lies that
you've all been telling.

Come on.

We've been out of
school for five years.

So we haven't taken
over the world yet.

It's okay.

It's okay to be who we are.

I wish I could agree.

Because...

as much as we try, as much
as we want to control events,

we can't control them all.

But what can we do?

We can stand by our friends.

Not for what they might become,

but for who they are now.

To the truth.

Truth!

Excuse me.

Hi.

Um... you know what, I've...

I've-I've got a
confession to make.

I know you all think

I've had a pretty, uh,
well, meteoric career,

you know, with a hit
song and everything.

This new piece...

is a little more in
tune with... who I am.

♪ Don't buy condoms ♪

♪ Buy Condex ♪

♪ There's a big difference ♪

♪ You'll always get your way ♪

♪ When you're happy to say ♪

♪ Don't buy condoms ♪

♪ Buy Condex. ♪

Yeah.

Oh, say, aren't you Noah Hunter?

Excuse me, miss.

You ever been
skydiving in Del Monte?

Hey.

I haven't seen you all night.

How has the party been for you?

Enlightening.

Uh, listen, Kel, um...

you know, I've been
thinking about my, um...

lofty ideals, and...

you're right.

I haven't...

Like you said,

it's okay to be who we are.

Andrea?

Would you like to dance?

Bernie.

I'd, uh... I'd love to.

Um, how have you been?

The truth?

I just got divorced.

Continued good luck
with the poor, Valerie.

Thank you.

Hi, Janet.

I got you a corsage.

You know, to get a corsage

at... at 3:00 in
the morning, a...

a guy's got to go way, way
downtown to the Flower Mart.

You've really

got to care about someone
a lot to do something like that.

You really...

have got to have screwed up.

I'm sorry.

I'd like to go out
with you again.

Um, I don't think that's
such a good idea, Steve.

But I will see you
at work on Monday.