Beverly Hills, 90210 (1990–2000): Season 5, Episode 15 - Christmas Comes This Time Each Year - full transcript

Well, the tree at the White
House is a little bigger,

but not much.

Damn.

What's wrong?

l left about
six inches clearance.

l'm losing my touch.

Mmm.

l don't think so.

No, hold it, hold it.

As long as we're getting
in the spirit here...

we might as well
do this right.



Huh.

l see you've done
this before, huh?

This time l mean it.

Oh!

This looks like

it's gonna be a
beautiful tree.

Oh. Excuse me.

l didn't mean to... intrude.

Mrs. Martin.

-Thank you, Ray.
-Uh...

l've got a, uh, l've got
a bigger stand out in my truck.

l'm gonna go grab it.

l'll be right back.

So...



You really like this boy.

Mom, if Ray asked me
to marry him right now,

l'd say yes.

l'm gonna go see
if he needs some help.

Well, you heard her.

A son-in-law who works
in a Christmas tree lot.

How charming.

Now, he's more
diverse than that.

He has a pumpkin patch.

l don't find this amusing.

l'd really like to avoid

having our daughter
do something

that we both know
she'll regret.

Felice, leave it alone.

You're only gonna push
them closer together

if you try to do anything.

l'm sorry, but l'm not about
to attend a prenuptial dinner

in a trailer park.

Would someone please tell me
where my damn passport went to?

lt was right here
with the tickets.

Dad, relax.

l got it right here.
Whoa, nice picture.

You look like a terrorist.

l don't think
they're gonna

-let you on the plane.
-Gimme that.

l think l've got everything.

You guys don't believe in
traveling lightly, do you?

You never know
what the weather's

gonna be like in London.

Sure you do. Cold,

wet, foggy, dank, dark, dismal.

That's just fine.
lt'll add to the ambience.

A Dickensian Christmas in London
with my thespian daughter.

Unfortunately with Brenda, you
never know if it's gonna be

the best of times
or the worst of times.

Just kidding, Mom.

Just water the plants,
would you?

Oh, and go to church
on Christmas Eve.

l'll make sure he goes.

Well, at least

we know someone that's gonna
have a white Christmas.

Oh, that's for sure.

l'm sure your friends'll
be very happy to see you.

Well, they'll have
to dig their way out.

lt's a balmy ten below
in Buffalo,

and guess what
the forecast says now?

-More snow.
-More snow.

Yeah.

-Every year.
-Hey, let's go upstairs

and make sure we haven't
forgotten anything.

l've already packed everything
that isn't bolted down.

Jim, come on.

You know, you can still go
with them if you want.

lt's not gonna be very much
fun staying here with me.

No.

l told you already, kiddo,

it's just gonna be you and me.

l won't be angry.

l mean, if l could go
somewhere right now, l would.

Would you stop already?

No such luck,
l'm not going anywhere.

Unless, of course, you don't
get off my back about going.

Okay, l won't
say another word.

You've been doing this
since you were how old?

l was ten or 1 1 . So what?

Actually, after
Hannah's turn

l might ask Santa
for an A

on my Legal
Ethics midterm. Huh?

Don't knock it. lt works.

lf you say so.

Well, do you think
Hannah's ready

for this? l
mean, he's so...

big and red...

Andrea, would you stop?

Look, it's a tradition.

You can't have
a family album

without a picture on
Santa's lap, huh?

Yeah!

Yeah, l'm gonna take a
picture. Okay, honey?

She's gonna enjoy this,
aren't you sweetie?

Yeah...

Hello, there, Santa.

This is my daughter, Hannah.

My, what a beautiful little
child you have here.

Ho, ho, ho.

Ho, ho, ho, ho.

Aw... lt's okay, Santa's
a nice man. Smile.

Oh, Hannah, it's okay.

Smile for Mama.

Come on, smile.

lt's o... honey, don't worry.

lt's o... Honey.

lt's okay.

Do you know what it is
about turkeys at Christmas?

At least they get to feel good

about having some
purpose to their lives.

Dude, will you lighten up?

No, l mean it.

lt's like the Steve
Sanders holiday curse.

l should just erase Christmas
from my calendar completely.

Come on, it can't be that bad.

Oh, yeah?

One year l ran away
to New Mexico

to find my birth mother.

lt turns out she's dead.

The next year l nearly
got expelled from school,

because l tried
to change my grades.

Then last year
l got busted

breaking into a
professor's office,

but this year,

this year, l thought
l was finally

gonna get rid of that curse

with that Peach Pit
After Dark thing.

What happens?

My father sells me out.

Well, Veteran's Day
is a holiday

a lot of people enjoy.

Thanks. Great.
Now l'm stuck

with a bunch of old people

doing community service
at an old folks' home.

-Ah, you'll live. -Well, that's
easy for you to say.

You're not gonna
be calling bingo numbers

for the next hundred years.

Quit complaining. When you
see some of the people

who come in here that
we're gonna feed tomorrow,

you'll change your
tune. Come on.

Grab the bird.
Let's go.

Ah, whatever.

David, l was just thinking...

We know as many people
as Steve does, don't we?

Yeah, l guess so.

And it's no big deal
to hire a DJ, right?

Clare,

don't even think
about us running...

Why? Why can't we keep the
Peach Pit After Dark going?

l mean, do we
really need Steve?

Clare, that's
not the point.

Where's your
entrepreneurial spirit?

Rush Sanders didn't pull
his money out of this.

All they need is someone
to run the place.

Oh, gee, no problem.

David, think
about it.

lf Steve's dad
thought this idea

was worth investing in,

l'm sure there's a way
we can make it work.

Yeah, l guess
it's worth a shot.

Now all you need
to do is convince Nat.

You will.

l will?

Mm-hmm.

l'm off to bed, you guys.

Gotta get up
early in the morning.

Good night. See you
in the morning, Mom.

Good night.

Oh, couldn't you just
stare at the tree forever?

Yeah, the tree's nice,
but if l had my choice,

l'd rather stare at you.

Oh...

Sorry.

lt's okay.

lsn't it getting to be time
to change that dressing?

l can do it for you.

You know what?
l think l'll

just go home and
let my mom do it.

Why won't you let me help you?

l'd just rather
my mom did it.

She knows how and...

And what?

l just don't want you
to see me like this.

Kelly... it's me.

You don't have to be perfect.

That's not why l love you.

l can handle it, okay?

So, you just show me
what to do, and...

we'll take it nice and easy.

l can't.

l'll just see you tomorrow

at the Peach Pit, okay?

Kelly, what's goin' on?

l'll see you later.

David, you're
getting it everywhere!

Well, isn't that part
of the tradition?

No, the tradition
is to wear it.

That's very funny. Oh!

Ohh...

Yeah, okay!

l'm sorry, did l
get some on you?

Whoa!

Well, l better
get going.

l'm taking Ray's mom
Christmas shopping.

Mmm. Have fun.

l don't know.

You know...

Ray said that his, his
mom has a rough time

around this time of year.

You know, super-emotional.

Drinking.

And the closer it
gets to Christmas,

l just...

l don't know. l don't
want it to get weird.

l'm sure she'll stay sober
for the couple of hours

you guys are
together, right?

l don't know.

That's not even what's
bothering me. lt's...

l've met his mom, and
the rest of his family.

-Okay. So?
-Clare, we're not

just from
different worlds,

we're from
different galaxies.

Donna, that
doesn't matter.

Okay? What matters is what
you have with Ray, right?

Yeah, you're right.

l guess l just needed to
hear that from someone.

Okay.

Thanks.

Good-bye, David.

Bye.

Bye.

Daddy! Hi.

What a surprise.

Well, now that you
have your own tree,

l thought you should have
this before Christmas.

Oh, all my ornaments?
Thank you!

lt wouldn't be
Christmas without them.

Thanks, Dad.

Uh, this is,
um, my friend.

David Silver.
This is my dad.

David.
Hi.

Nice to meet you,
Chancellor Arnold.

Now, Clare, please remember,

l'm expecting you
at the faculty Christmas party.

Naturally, l hope you'll
bring Brandon along,

but please make sure

that you invite Kelly
and Donna, okay?

Yeah. Absolutely.

We wouldn't miss
it for the world.

Good, good.

-Okay, l'm off.
-Okay.

Busy day.

-Good-bye, darling.
-Thanks.

Uh... David.

A pleasure.

Bye, Dad.

Thanks.

Well, here we go again.

Why didn't you tell
your dad about us?

Because he was preoccupied.

l want to tell him when he can
really listen to me, you know?

Are you ashamed of me?

David, l promise.

The next time
l see my father,

l'll tell him, okay?

l promise.

You want to see
my ornaments?

Sure.

Well, l guess
l asked the right person

to come shopping with me.

Well, l've had a
little bit of experience.

Okay. Well, then,
help me figure out

something else
to get for Ray.

l already
got him ''The Club''.

l know he's going to
love that for his truck.

Most definitely. Yeah.

But don't you think

he would look great
in one of those suits?

You might have a problem there,
sweetheart.

But he's changing.

Maybe he might
like something like that.

Not that l could afford it,
mind you.

Well, come on.
We can... we can think about it.

Oh, now there's
my idea of heaven.

Hop on the Love Boat
and go 'round the world.

Sitting eating my shrimp

with a glass of champagne
every night.

Well, a girl
can dream, can't she?

Well, maybe if you go
sit on Santa's knee

and tell him, he'll
make it come true.

Honey, l got a better chance
of winning the lottery.

Oh, don't get me wrong.

When Santa brings me

my bottle of eau de cologne
every year, l thank him.

You take what you can get.

That's the way it is.

All right. Thanks a lot.

You have a Merry Christmas,
okay?

Ray.

Mrs. Martin.

Something wrong
with the tree?

Oh, no, no. Not at all.

l just, uh... thought
we might have a little chat.

Sure. What's up?

What would you like
for Christmas, Ray?

l should say,
if you could have anything,

anything you ever dreamed of
for Christmas,

what would that be?

You're an interesting woman.
You know that, Mrs. Martin?

Well, l'm very serious.
Please tell me.

Anything, huh?
Okay. Uh...

l'd love to make
my own album.

That's an expensive dream.

That's why they're
called dreams.

What would you say if l told you
l could make that happen?

l don't believe this.
Are you trying to, uh...?

You are, aren't you?

l think that should make you
very happy this Christmas.

Don't you?

All right. You're all set.

Hi, hon.

Hey.

Something wrong?

You look like you've seen
the Ghost of Christmas.

Nah. l'm all right.

lt's just been busy.

Aren't you supposed
to be helping Donna

serve Christmas dinner
to the homeless?

Like l said, we had a rush.

Ray, l've seen you
drop everything

when it comes
to being with Donna.

Are you going
to tell me what's wrong?

Nothing.

Look, uh, this lady called, l
got a flock of six-footers, so

l better
get on it.

You do that.

But just you make sure
you bring that sweet girl over

to the house tomorrow
for Christmas dinner.

Bet she's never tasted anything
like my Charlotte Russe.

Done deal, Mom.

FBl.

Yes. l'll transfer you.

Yes?

Hi. l'd like to see
Christine Pettit, please.

l'm afraid there's no one here
at the Bureau by that name.

Come on, we don't
gotta play that game.

l know she's here.

l'm sorry, sir.

There's no one here
by that name.

Fine. So why don't you let me
speak to someone

who is in charge, then?

l'm afraid that's
impossible.

He's extremely busy,

and he doesn't see anyone
without an appointment.

lt's Bureau policy.

Bureau policy?
Okay, listen.

You tell the J. Edgar Hoover
boys back there,

take the party dresses off.

My name is Dylan McKay.
l'd like to see somebody.

lf that doesn't ring any bells,

you tell them
l'm Jack McKay's son.

Excuse me, sir.

There's a gentleman
out here to see you.

His name is Dylan McKay.

Yes, sir. Right away.

Mr. McKay, Special Agent
Cobb will see you now.

Through the double
doors, room 1 1 1 ,

down the hall.

FBl.

He's not in
right now.

Yes, after lunch.

Thank you.

Christine Pettit?

Nope. Only Pettit l knew
played for the St. Louis Hawks,

and l'm pretty sure
that was way before your time.

Stop it,
all right?!

Don't get cute
with me, man.

l don't got time for it.
So you put me

in touch with Agent Pettit

or l will get on the phone
to the Los Angeles Times

and l'll tell them all about
the Jack McKay operation,

how you blew it,
and how my dad got killed.

You got it?

Hello, Dylan.

Christine.

l'm sorry about the
security tangle.

lt's just that we've
got to be careful.

You want to
talk about Jack?

No.

But l do need your help.

Do l have a way
with kids or what?

Can l hire you?

l'm not cheap.

l'm effective,
but l'm not cheap.

Mm, how's my little
Christmas girl doing?

Oh, for Jesse's sake, l wish
she was a Christmas girl.

You want to tell
Uncle Steve about it?

l just don't know how to mix
Jesse's family traditions

with my own.

l don't want
to confuse Hannah.

l mean, the voice in my head
keeps saying,

''Andrea, you're Jewish,
you can't do this,''

but she deserves the best
of both traditions.

lt sounds
like she's getting that.

l don't know.

Tonight is going
to be a total disaster.

Jesse wants to go
to Midnight Mass.

Hannah's teething;

there is no way she's going
to make it through the service.

Oh, l don't know.

Oh, honey,
l just want to make this

a special Christmas
for them.

That's all.

Sanders!

We need another turkey
from the kitchen pronto.

Hang tough, Andrea, and
keep the faith, okay?

l'll work on it later.

-Yeah.
-Bye, baby.

Say good-bye.

There you go, one turkey
special with the works.

Young lady.

l don't want this.

l want a mega-burger.

Okay, l'll get you one.

With cheese.

l'll be right back.

Can't say l blame her.

Where's Donna?

l thought her and Ray
were supposed to be here.

Yeah, she called Ray.

He has to stay
at the Christmas tree lot

and she's expected
at her mom's.

Oh, excuses, excuses.

Look, l was talking with Clare
and, um, we were both thinking

that we could
probably keep

the Peach Pit
After Dark going,

well, with your help,
of course.

Uh, what, what do you think?

Well, what l think is

these people need
more gravy,

and we'll talk about it
after the first of the year.

Okay?

Boy, when you see
someone like that,

you thank God
for everything you got.

And wonders...

Here you go.

Of His love...

So presumably they have
contacts down in Brazil

helping them
launder the money.

Or they're having
one hell of a vacation.

Look,

Dylan, l...

l'd like to help you,
but there's a problem.

l don't want to hear that.

The Bureau is
understaffed.

lf l turn your case
over to them,

it'll just end up
in a pile of paperwork.

Then you tell me
what my other options are.

l might have another way
of handling this.

lf you just give me
a little time.

Time.

''Time is money.''

Whoever said it knew
what they were talking about.

Dylan.

You know how l felt
about your father.

l will do

everything l can.

l don't know when she
found time to bake these,

but one Cindy Walsh
pinwheel and you're hooked.

Thanks.

You were fine
when we got to the Peach Pit.

What happened?

All right,
we don't have to talk about it,

but if we don't...

Why were you staring

at that woman in the Peach Pit?

What woman?

lt wasn't just you;
everybody did it.

Everyone just looked at her

like she was something
out of a freak show.

l have no idea
what you're talking about.

The woman

in the corner booth.

Everyone who passed by her
had some morbid fascination

with watching her eat.

Maybe everybody
was just feeling her pain.

Kelly, when l look at you,

l see the most beautiful woman
l know.

l just don't know
if l'm that same person anymore.

All right, come on.

Where are
you going?

You promised my mom
you'd take me to church.

Remember?
Let's go.

l said that to appease her.

l didn't think
that you'd want to go.

Well...

maybe she was right.

lt is Christmas Eve,
after all.

Thank you.

Oh, Mom, l almost forgot--

l want to take some of Lucille's
ambrosia to Ray's tomorrow.

Oh, fine, honey.

l'll make sure she puts it
in some Waterford for you.

Cute, Mom.

Excuse me, l'll
be right down.

l forgot the car keys.

Sweetheart, l didn't want
to ruin our dinner earlier

by bringing this up, but...

there's just something
you've got to know about Ray.

Like what?

l think you've been terribly
misguided by his sensibilities.

Oh, please, Mother.

Donna, how much do you
really know about Ray?

Why are you asking me this?

Well, l guess you could say

l was confirming
an instinct of mine.

So for your sake,

l went to see just how real
his feelings are for you.

What did you do?

As a little test l offered
him a check for $10,000

if he would agree

to stop seeing you.

Oh, my God!

l don't believe this!

How could you even think...?

l think you should be more
concerned about the fact

that he took the money.

No, no, he didn't.

Yes, he did.

Sweetheart, he did.

l know he didn't.

Yes, he did, Donna, he did.

l'm telling you, it
broke my heart

to see how he just
snapped it right up.

And going on about
recording his music

or some such
ridiculous whim.

l love him. l...

Oh, sweetheart, l know you do.

But wouldn't you rather
find out the truth

about Ray now,
then after he left you?

lt's your birthday
tomorrow.

Daddy and l love you so much.

You're the best
Christmas present

we could ever have had.

Honey, don't let this ruin
it for you,

okay?

lt's all right.

l don't want to see him.

Okay, that's fine.

Why, though? What happened?

Nothing.

Come on, Donna,
what's going on?

lt's Ray.

He...

my mom tried...

Forget it.

Donna, you're not
making any sense.

Come on, your mom
tried to do what?

My mom,

she offered Ray $10,000

if he would stop seeing me.

And he took the money?

He's probably laughing all
the way to the bank, huh?

Sure got that Beverly Hills
bitch good.

Then what's he doing here?

Donna, you've gotta
talk to him.

-No.
-Donna?

Get out of here!

Get out.

You gonna let me
say something?

Look, l don't know

what you think happened,
but you're wrong.

l know exactly
what happened.

Yeah, okay, l took the check.

'Cause l knew you
wouldn't believe me

if l just told you what
your mother tried to do.

You'd call me a damn liar.

Go ahead and
think what you want.

But just hear me
out, all right?

l took the money and l kept it.

So that you'd know what your
mother tried to do, all right?

That's the God's honest truth.

When she told me,
l didn't know what to believe.

Look, l want you, Donna.

And l don't give a damn
about your mother's money.

l love you.

l love you, too.

l love you.

Sleep in heavenly peace--

that's pretty good advice, huh?

Very good.

l'm glad we went to church.

Yeah, me, too.

You know, it's funny.

Every year my first
impulse is to avoid going,

but then you go there and you
let it all sink in, you end up

feeling that everything is right
with the world.

Sounds like you had
a religious experience.

Mm-hmm. l think l'm ready
for another experience.

Ohh...

l missed you last night.

l missed you, too.

l fell asleep listening
to Chris Berman say

''He-could-go-all-the way!''

Well, with any luck, he could.

l'm ready.

l swear that isn't one of the
things l prayed for in church.

Yeah, right. l'm
just gonna go upstairs

and change my bandages.

Can l help you?

No, l can do it myself.

l'll meet you in bed.

Okay.

Come on, don't tell me
you called

just to wish me
a Merry Christmas.

That's exactly why l called.

Whoa, lris McKay in
the Christmas spirit.

Let me guess, your guru told you

that your karma
needed some tweaking.

My karma's fine.

lt's my son l worry about.

Yeah, well...

What can l tell you?

l'm here, with my
nonalcoholic eggnog

just ringing in the yuletide.

lt's no picnic, lris.

No, well, you're still battling
your old spirit.

lt takes a while.

Well, the old spirit's
pretty strong.

Sometimes l wonder if l still
have the strength to fight it.

Dylan, through hard times

the secret is in just accepting
who you are, and where you are.

That's where the freedom
comes from.

lt gets better.

Yeah, something tells me it
wouldn't take much

to convince me that the view's
still better where you are.

Well, then get it together
and come visit.

Yeah, watch out.
l just might do that.

Listen, Mom,
l'm glad you called.

And, if it's not too formal

l would like to take this
opportunity

to wish you and yours
a Merry Christmas.

Right back at you, kiddo.

Make them good holidays.

l love you.

l love you, Mom.

Hey, look out, make way.

Christmas tree express is
coming through,

express train, whoo!

Oh, would you look at

the size of that monster!

ls it big enough for you?

Do you like that?

l'll tell you what, l got
a car full of presents,

l got lights, l got decorations,

l got flashing candy canes!

And for the grand finale

l got three tickets
to Disneyland.

l didn't think l was
ever going to see you again.

Are you kidding?

l never had a sister before.

Hey, hey, what's the matter?

l can't do it by myself.

l need help.

You'll have to help me

take this off.

Yeah.

And this, too.

All right.

lt's still really sensitive.

Okay, hold on.

l don't want this
to hurt you.

Oh, man.

Oh, l'm sorry, Kel,
l had no idea.

lt's grotesque--
you can say it.

No, no, no, that's
not what l meant.

l keep thinking l must have
done something horrible

to deserve this.

You didn't do anything.

Then why did it
happen to me?

Sometimes things happen
for no reason.

You've just gotta believe
that somehow something good's

gonna come out of it.

Do l put the ointment on now?

Yeah.

l think about the fire

and Alison every minute.

l can't make it go away.

And now l have this...

a permanent reminder.

This doesn't change
who you are, Kel.

Not to me.

How's that?

Good.

Thanks for staying.

l love you.

You might not say that
after you get my bill.

Mother...

Ah, there you are.

l've been waiting
for you.

Happy Birthday,
sweetheart.

Merry Christmas.

l'll go get Daddy,

and you can open up some
of your presents, okay?

ls something wrong?

Yeah, very wrong.

Sweetheart, l know
that last night

was very upsetting for you.

But it's your birthday.

Ray gave me the money back.

He told me everything.

l-l don't understand.

Yes, you do.

And since you
were so generous,

l found a way to make someone's
Christmas very happy...

Mom.

Would you care to tell me
what that was all about?

You know, l felt like l
was back in catechism again

the way Sister Mary lgnatius
kept staring at us like that.

Jesse, she kept
spitting out her pacifier.

She wouldn't take the bottle!

What did you
expect me to do?!

You know, you were looking

for an excuse to leave anyway,
weren't you? Yeah!

No, l was not.

But most people don't expect
a teething, six-month-old baby

to behave at Midnight Mass!

Look, l'm sorry about
last night, okay?

Let's just try
to work through it, okay?

Look, it's Christmas.

Don't you want
to open up presents?

Yeah.

Yeah, sure.

That's better.

Come on, Hannah.

Let's see what Santa
brought you.

What did Santa bring you?

Oh, look it! Oh!

Look it!

Look! Jingle bells,
jingle bells

Jingle bells,
jingle all the way

Oh, what fun it...

lt's okay. Oh!

Oh, look,

what did Santa bring you?

lt's a teddy bear Santa!

Look, Hannah,
here's Santa!

Looky! Oh, hello, Hannah.

Oh, honey, it's okay.

l can't take this
anymore!

Jesse...

You know what, you know what?

Why don't we just forget
about Christmas altogether?!

'Cause you know what?

That's exactly what you want.
lsn't it? lsn't it?

Jesse, that is not what l want!

Hold on!

Hey, l'm coming. Hold on!

Merry...

Merry Christmas.

l'm a little tapped out, man.

You'll have to come back
next year.

Hey, did you hear
what l said?

My name is J.J. Jones.

And l'm a friend
of Christine Pettit.

That name ring a bell?

-Yeah, maybe. What can l do
you for? -Well, l think it's

the other way around.
l'm here to help you, pal.

-Me?
-Yeah, you.

Well, come on in, Jonesy.

You're welcome here.

Don't mind if l do.

Good to see you.

Ah, sorry about that.

That's all right.

Donuts...

You think it'd be all right

if l grabbed one
of these little donuts?

'Cause, uh...

l got myself
on this grapefruit, uh...

juice diet and, uh...

l got acids.
They're killing me.

Yeah, before they do,

you wanna tell me
what's going on here?

Well, we haven't gotten there
yet, have we, huh?

Oh, my.

What?

-Parades.
-What?

You like parades?
l love parades.

Here. Well, let me tell
you what the deal is.

l'm sorry
l didn't come in ribbons,

but, uh,

l'm your Christmas present
from Christine.

Well, then l know she read
the wish list wrong, so...

No, no,
l don't think so.

Not after she told me
about your little fiasco,

what happened to you.

Now l want you to
look at me, look at me.

l want you to look at me
as a salvage expert.

Okay, l go after
your dough

and maybe l find it.
lf l do, then l get half.

What? Half?
What, are we married?

Plus expenses.

Now if you're interested,
all l need is a handshake.

Right. Let me get this straight.

Now what you're telling me
is that you...

-Me.
-You?

Come on! come on!
Come on, spit it out!

Look, l could be unwrapping
presents

with my pet snake right now.

Besides,

this eight million dollars
that's, uh, down in Rio,

all of a sudden,
it gets my attention.

And l'm sure you've been
losing a few winks

over it, too, huh?

From now on,

l want you to call me
Jonesy, okay?

ls Jones your real name?

ls Jones anybody's
real name, hmm?

Okay, so, uh, when
do we go, Jones?

l don't think
it's a ''we'' thing, sir.

What?

lt's a me. You stay here,
you stay put right here

and if l find something,
l'll let you know.

ls it a deal,
laddy buck?

Yeah.

Merry Christmas, everyone!
Merry Christmas!

Mm, l wait
all year for this.

Well, it looks incredible.

As my sister Dutch

says, ''The fun starts

when you're lickin'
those ladyfingers.''

Here, dig in.

Hold on a second, Mom.

Luanne, Ray and l have
a present for you.

Having Christmas dinner with you
two is my present.

No, it's just a little
something, Mom.

lt's no big deal.

Ray, l'm gonna be embarrassed

if this is that negligee
l asked you for.

You gotta be kiddin' me!

First-class ticket for

a two-week cruise
in the Caribbean.

You don't have to dream anymore.

My legs are shaking.

lt was all
Donna's idea, Mom.

l told her she could've
just got you a box of candy,

but, uh, there was
no stopping her.

Well, all l can say is

it's a lot better

than a bottle
of eau de cologne.

Come here, you two.

Oh, thank you,
thank you, thank you.

Oh, Ray.

This is the first good Christmas

l've had in a very long time.

l still haven't given you
your present yet, Donna.

l've already got it.

Jesse, can l make you
a sandwich or something?

Huh?

Oh no, no, thank you.
l'm not hungry.

Maybe, uh, maybe we'll go
on a walk or something later.

Ho-ho!

Ho-ho-ho!

Ho-ho-ho!

Why are you here, Steve?

Santa Claus...

Steve, man,
thanks, but you know...

No, no, no, l didn't come down
here from the North Pole

to hear that, bucko.

l came down here to make sure
my favorite little girl has

a very special Christmas.

Right, Santa Clones?

Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!

Ooh, she's eating
Santa's beard.

Watch out...

Look who it is.
The more the merrier.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

The elves, we couldn't get

through the cold winters
without them.

Oh, yes, aren't they gorgeous?

Oh, look how
happy she is.

How quiet she is.

l've got the magic touch.

Aw...

Merry Christmas,
everybody!

Feliz Navidad.

Oh, here you go, honey.

Here you go.

Oh, l'll get it, hold it up.

Dylan?

l thought it was about time
l saw that baby of yours.

Come on in.

Just a second.

Poochie-poochie.