Beverly Hills, 90210 (1990–2000): Season 5, Episode 16 - Sentenced to Life - full transcript
Steve begins community service at a retirement home and meets Saul Howard, an ex-entertainer with Alzheimer's disease, whom Steve confides in with his problems. Dylan asks Jesse for advice when he is told to appear in court over his car accident. Meanwhile, Valerie returns to Beverly Hills after spending a sunny Christmas vacation in the Caribbean, instead of visiting her mother in Buffalo, which prompts a cold response from Kelly who openly admits to everyone that she despises Valerie and doesn't trust her for a second. Ray declines a request by Donna to perform at the opening of the Peach Pit After Dark nightclub. While working at the hospital as a resident intern, Andrea has a run in with an attractive doctor named Peter Tucker.
Okay, Zuckerman,
how'd you know
l was into Bukowski, huh?
Come on.
The renegade poet of our times?
Please.
''There's a bluebird in my heart
''that wants to get out,
''but l pour whisky on him
and inhale cigarette smoke.
''All the whores and bartenders
and the grocery clerks
never know that he's in there.''
You think his friends ever tried
to put him in a rehab?
Well, if they didn't,
maybe they should have.
l don't know.
Do you really think that he
could write that kind of stuff
if he got rid
of all his demons?
Who knows?
William Blake.
Blake says,
''The road to excess leads
right to the gates
of the palace of wisdom.''
Excuse me.
Hi. Uh, Mr. McKay?
Yeah.
l've got some registered
mail here for you.
l'll need you to sign
here, please.
-Thanks.
-You're welcome.
Thank you.
What is it?
lt's from Municipal Court.
lt's a notice to appear.
lt's about my accident.
Your accident?
Yeah, l'm being charged:
driving under the influence.
Took 'em long enough.
Yeah, l was beginning to think
it might never come.
Pretty stupid, huh?
Time to face the music.
Hi, this is Donna Martin and
l'm standing here at L.A.'s
hottest new nightclub,
the Peach Pit After Dark.
Oh, and look who just walked in.
lt's the proud owner
and my personal friend,
Nat Bussichio!
Hi.
So, Nat, everything seems
to be coming along very nicely.
When's opening night?
Uh, next Saturday.
Wow, that's one week away.
Excited?
Uh, yeah, excited.
So, l hear you'll be having
live music playing here.
That's right.
So, you know what that means.
All you musicians out there,
send in your tapes.
That could be you,
here, opening night.
-And cut!
-That was great.
Can l go back to worrying now?
Yes, you can.
Why did l ever let you guys
talk me into this?
Look at this place!
You know, l think Ray would
be great here opening night.
Donna, Ray doesn't
even have a band.
He could get one.
His music isn't...
exactly... danceable.
How do you know?
He can do anything.
Haven't we heard
this song before?
Look, tease all you want,
but Ray is good.
And you're going to give him
a chance to prove it.
What do you think?
lt's not worth fighting about.
Donna can be relentless.
Mm-hmm. Thank you.
l'm out of here.
l have an English final
tomorrow morning
and l still don't know who
killed the damn mockingbird.
ltalian, see it?
See it in his eyes.
l wonder if anyone calls.
l mean, his daughter,
his daughter.
All right, folks, easy does it.
This way. Thank you.
Excuse me.
Boy, what some guys
won't do to get out of here.
Excuse me?
That was Corelli.
He dropped dead during dinner...
between the meatballs
and the Jell-O.
-l'm sorry to hear that.
-Oh...
-Excuse me.
-Yeah.
-That gentleman over there,
what's his name? -Huh?
Saul Howard.
Famous old actor.
Before your time.
Excuse me, Mr. Howard.
That's right.
My name is Steve Sanders.
You worked with my mother
on a sitcom
called The Hartley House.
Samantha Sanders.
Samantha Sanders is your mother?
Yeah. l used to hang out on
the set when l was a kid.
That's right. Now l remember.
You're Chuckie.
No, no, Chuckie was the name
of the kid on the show.
Oh...
My name is Steve.
l'm the real son.
Oh.
l knew you looked familiar the
second l walked in that door.
68 years in the business
and all anybody ever remembers
is Grandpa Hartley
from some lousy sitcom.
Well, it's good
to see you, Saul.
lt's great to be seen, Chuckie.
l gotta run; l got a meeting
with Mr. Warren.
Mr. Warren?
He's a barrel of laughs.
Come in.
Mr. Warren?
Yeah. What can l do for you?
l'm Steve Sanders.
l'm supposed to see you.
Yeah, is that so?
Yeah. l'm here
about my community service.
Oh, you're the pyromaniac.
Sit down.
l've been waiting to meet you.
Uh, just a second.
l didn't start that fire.
Tell it to the judge.
Well, l did.
And that's why l'm here.
Actually, l was told that
l could just sign something
and that you would
take care of it.
l would take care of it?
That's what l was told.
Don't worry.
The fix is in.
You know,
it never ceases to amaze me
how you rich kids
get your parents
to take care of stuff
like this.
Just tell me where l sign, okay?
-Right here.
-Great.
While you're at it,
why don't you sign them all?
Then l won't have to look
at your smug face again.
What was l supposed
to do here, anyway?
What you're supposed
to do is complete
a hundred hours of service
to the residents in this home.
Clean bedpans, mop floors,
bus meals,
wipe the drool
off of faces of people
who are too old
to help themselves.
Nothing that a nice boy
from Beverly Hills
wants to deal with.
You got that right.
Chuckie, Chuckie, come here.
Get in here. Get in.
Go in.
Here, here.
What is this?
Do me a favor, will ya, Chuckie?
Take this to the laundry for me.
What is it?
My sheets.
l pissed in my bed.
lf they find out,
they'll give me plastic sheets
and make me wear a diaper.
So get it washed, will ya?
And bring it back tonight?
Please do that? Please?
Yeah, sure.
Chuckie...
What?
No starch.
''Discuss the thematic use
of time
as a metaphor in the works
of Thomas Wolfe.''
Why did l take this course?
Tell you what.
l'll take your English final
for you
if you take my economics final
for me.
Yeah, it's a deal.
l know all about money.
There's never enough of it.
Anybody home?
Hey, Val, we're in here.
Hmm, she finally decided
to come home.
Hey, guys.
Happy New Year.
And a Happy New Year
to you, too.
We were expecting you
a couple of days ago.
Yeah, well my first final's
not until tomorrow,
so l decided l'd sneak in
a couple more days.
Hmm.
So, Buffalo was good?
l didn't exactly go to Buffalo.
So, where exactly did you go?
Exactly?
Negril.
Jamaica?
Yeah, it's a lot warmer
than Niagara Falls.
l bought some souvenirs
for everybody.
Well, thank you, but l thought
you were going to see your mom.
l was.
l just couldn't do it.
l couldn't face
going back home.
Not yet.
So l called my mom,
and she understood.
Well, it's good
to have you back.
Yeah, l'm gonna go unpack.
l can't believe her.
She's a compulsive liar.
Kelly, stop the bombing.
Brandon,
l've taken four semesters
of abnormal psychology.
l know what l'm talking about.
She's a textbook case.
l'm sorry, Dr. Taylor.
And when did you get your PhD?
Tell you what.
Why don't you call her mother?
Ask her, hmm?
You know what,
if it'll get you off my back
and off of her case,
l might just do that.
-Good.
-Good.
-Fine.
-Fine.
Saul.
Chuckie!
Come on in.
Remote control.
Greatest invention
of the 20th century.
Well, have you got it?
No starch.
l always knew
you were a good boy, Chuckie.
lt's Steve.
l know who you are.
You're Rush and Samantha
Sanders' son.
l always liked your mother.
Your father l couldn't stand.
That's why l quit the show.
Your father told everybody
l couldn't remember my lines.
You know what it was
l couldn't remember?
To kiss your father's ass.
l have a little trouble
with that myself sometimes.
Wow... Mm!
You got kids, huh?
l did.
l had a daughter.
l lost her.
A long time ago.
Car accident.
My birth parents died
in a car accident.
Your birth parents?
Yeah, l'm adopted.
Then Rush isn't
your real father.
That explains why
you're such a good kid.
What are you doing here,
Sanders?
My job.
l beg your pardon?
l'm going to fulfill the terms
of my community service.
l'm going to work here
the full 100 hours.
That's very admirable.
But l think you better
be prepared.
This is not a country club.
l'm not going to make
things easy for you.
Fine.
l'm not looking for
the easy way out this time.
Uh, Mr. Warren...
l saw the doctor today.
How nice.
He says l have Jewish
Alzheimer's.
Jewish Alzheimer's?
Yeah.
That's when you forget
everything but the guilt.
Can l see you for a moment,
Mr. Sanders?
Bastard has no sense of humor.
l noticed.
Look, l've seen this before.
What?
lf you think you can
waltz in here,
do your 100 hours and change
these people's lives, forget it.
Leave Saul Howard alone.
Why? So he can just
shrivel up and die?
That's why he's here, Steve.
Don't make it any harder
on him than it has to be.
Hey, hon.
Hi. Sorry l'm late.
l had to stop at the library
and get some books.
No problem.
Guess who
l talked to this morning?
Valerie's mom?
Correct as usual.
And yes, she did know
about Valerie's little jaunt
to Jamaica.
What she couldn't figure out,
is why l was calling her
to ask her if she knew.
Oh, well.
''Oh, well''?
That's all you have to say.
-''Oh, well''?
-What do you want me to say?
l don't know, how about,
''You were right Brandon.
l was wrong about Valerie.''
No, l was wrong about Jamaica.
l still don't trust Valerie.
What has she ever done to you?
She doesn't have to do anything.
Can we just study now?
-Fine. Fine.
-Fine. Fine.
Good.
Hey, Kel.
l thought l heard the doorbell.
Hi.
Listen, l'm glad you're here.
lt saves me a phone call.
-l need to ask you a favor.
-Oh?
Can l borrow your abnormal
psych notes?
l thought you dropped
that course.
Only in spirit.
But you haven't shown up
all semester.
Sure l have.
l only missed a couple classes.
Look, it'll really help me out.
Look, Valerie, l work
my butt off in that class.
Why should l go out of my way
to help someone
who can't even bother
to show up?
l didn't think it was
-that big of a deal.
-Well, it is.
Kel...
Look, l'm sorry
l asked.
You know what? You really go out
of your way to be mean to her.
l can't believe you.
She uses people and you know it.
Come on, Kelly.
lf Donna asked, you'd help her.
Or me,
you'd let me share your notes.
-You guys go to classes--
-So does she.
Brandon, Valerie is a liar
and a user,
and the sooner you wise up,
the better off we'll all be.
lt's open.
Put down the books, guys.
Chow time.
Oh, thank you.
l'm starving.
Good. l got enough for an army.
l wish l had some champagne.
l have the best news.
What?
l talked to Clare and David--
guess who's the headliner
for the opening night of the
Peach Pit After Dark?
l don't know,
uh, Counting Crows?
Nope. You.
-What?
-Yeah, it's all set.
You don't even have to audition.
Look, uh, forget it.
What do you mean?
l'm sorry if you went
to a bunch of trouble,
l'm just not interested.
Why not?
l mean l...
l thought you'd be happy.
Look Donna, l'm a songwriter,
l sing a little bit.
But l'm not
a one-man dance band.
l can't do a show like that--
no way.
Of course you can.
You don't have to do
all your own songs.
-You can do some covers.
-No.
Wait, you want a music career,
but you don't want to perform?
Look,
l'm sorry to disappoint you,
and l really appreciate
what you did,
but l'm not interested.
Fine.
l just don't get it.
Friend named Max
calls me on the phone.
He's 92 years old.
And he tells me,
he's getting married.
l said, ''ls she a good cook?''
He says, ''Well...''
l said,
''ls she good in bed?''
He said, ''She's the worst.''
So l said, ''Well, why
are you marrying her?''
He said,
''Because she drives at night.''
Chuckie...?
Will you come here
a minute, please?
Sit down here, will ya?
Come on, sit down.
l want to show you
a card trick that l learned,
uh, when l was in vaudeville.
l want you to take any card
that you want in the deck
and don't let me force one
on you, okay?
All right...
Okay, look at it, remember it,
Now do as l tell you to do.
Take the card
and tear it in half.
Do it fast, tear it in quarters,
tear it in eighths,
tear it in sixteenths,
tear it in twenty-fours,
Now, you got the little
pieces of the card,
put them in the palm
of your hand.
Your left hand.
Close the palm of
your hand, okay?
Now when l count three,
you throw those pieces
over your head.
-Are you ready?
-Yeah.
One, two, three.
Happy New Year!
Steve, what do you
think you're doing?
Get back to work.
This is a nursing home,
it's not a nightclub.
Yeah, how you doing?
Are you gonna help me fold?
Oh, okay, you just sit there
like the princess you are, okay?
l'll just fold the shirts.
Oh, no, no, just don't
get up; that's okay.
So, they meet again
by the spin cycle.
He, with his tiny packets
of fabric softener,
She, folding the clothes
that make the woman.
And, hey, what a folder she is.
Peter, hi, how are you?
l would have been
better if you'd called.
l know, l know, you're
the dedicated babysitter,
the dedicated premed student.
No rest for the wicked.
But, you know, you really
should get out more.
l mean, Laundromats are great,
but not what l'd call
a social life.
Then again, they're not bad
for picking up girls.
You do that often?
Wash clothes? About once
every couple months.
Pick up girls.
Often as l can.
Which isn't that often.
And that's why l have to admit
l was very disappointed
you threw away my number.
How do you know l threw
away your number?
Well, in case you misplaced it,
l could probably be persuaded
to give it to you again,
for old times' sake,
l mean, if you really wanted it.
Oh, it's okay, it's okay.
Sorry about before, kid.
l didn't mean to get you into
trouble with Warren at lunch.
l didn't...
lt's no sweat.
l'm a prisoner here, anyway.
l'm a prisoner, too.
You get to serve your time
and leave.
l'm sentenced to life.
Hey, Saul...
Yeah, Chuckie?
Tell you what--
What are you doing tomorrow?
Tomorrow?
l'll have to consult
my appointment calendar.
l'll tell you what--
how about l spring you
from this joint?
l don't think
that's a good idea.
Why not?
You got any better offers?
l'm an old man.
l can't walk far.
Walk? Who said anything
about walking?
l'll drive you door to door.
You like hamburgers?
l like a chicken sandwich
on white toast,
with Dijon mustard, and a couple
of dill pickles on the side.
All right,
chicken sandwich it is.
l know the best place in town.
Look, man, you wanted
my advice, here it is.
Get yourself a good attorney
and throw yourself
at the mercy of the court.
Hey, l don't beg for mercy.
Come on, Dylan, you were drunk.
They found traces of heroin and
cocaine in your bloodstream.
You drove a car off a cliff.
Look, the only thing you got
going for you right now
is the fact
you didn't hurt anybody
and they didn't find any
evidence in your car.
Yeah, well, obviously, they
didn't look very hard.
What's wrong with you?
What are you trying
to prove here, huh?
l'm not trying to prove
anything, man.
lf l'm guilty, l'm guilty.
l don't need
a lawyer telling me that.
Let them throw the book at me.
Oh, that's very honorable
of you, Dylan.
And very, very stupid.
lf you can manage--
just listen--
lf you can manage to swallow
a little bit of pride here,
you'll get a fine,
probation and they'll take
your driver's license away
for a couple of months.
l don't think so.
All right, listen, you
don't want to believe me...
give this guy a call.
He's good.
Expensive, but good.
Call him.
Hey, what's up?
Saul, baby, up and at 'em!
lt's game day, man!
Come on.
What are you watching TV for?
l thought we were going
to get out of here for a change.
Who are you?
What do you mean, who am l?
What are you doing here
in my room?
l don't know you.
Come on. l'm Steve. Chuckie?
l don't have any money.
Leave me alone.
Who needs money?
l got lots of money.
lt's my treat. Come on.
l told you
l don't have any money!
l don't have anything.
Now, get the hell out of here!
Are you joking with me?
Come on.
What are you talking about?
l'm not doing anything wrong.
l'm going to call a nurse.
That's what l'm going to do.
Nurse! Nurse!
-Help me! l'm being robbed!
-Saul, what are you...?
Robbed?!
l'm not robbing you.
You know what l'm talking about!
He's stealing my Emmy.
Don't let him steal my Emmy.
Oh, no.
Everything's all right.
Don't let him do it.
No one's stealing anything,
Mr. Howard.
He was about to get
up there and steal it.
-l would never do that, Saul.
-Look, here, Mr. Howard.
-Here it is.
-You're in... Oh.
Safe and sound. See?
l want you to take it easy.
Nurse, l didn't do anything.
l know. l know.
Maybe you better wait
in the hall.
Now, l just want you to rest
and take it easy, all right?
Just rest.
l don't want you worrying.
All right...
What's wrong with him?
How come he doesn't remember me?
Mr. Howard has Alzheimer's.
He doesn't remember you.
He's confused, and he's scared.
How long is that going to last?
Who knows?
lt comes and goes.
Maybe a few days,
maybe a few minutes.
And eventually,
for the rest of his life.
Where you been, Chuckie?
l've been waiting here
for two hours.
l thought we were going out.
Are you okay?
No. l'm hot.
l got my overcoat on.
Come on. Let's go, huh?
Maybe it's not such a good idea.
What are you talking about?
You sold me on a chicken
sandwich on white toast.
With Dijon mustard.
And pickles, too.
Okay. Come on.
-Yeah.
-Let's get out of here.
That's better.
Boy, what a car!
lt's a Corvette.
l'm old, not blind.
You know, l had a Corvette once.
A '59.
Yeah. Maroon and cream.
-Oh!
-Beautiful color.
Oh, yeah.
-l'll drive.
-Yeah, right.
l'll show you my license.
Look, don't give me a hard time.
l'm lucky l got you out
of the home.
Well, who's going to know
if l'm going to drive?
Come on, l'll do the driving.
Eh...
Come on, Chuckie.
Let me drive, please.
No.
lt's like riding a bicycle.
You never forget.
Saul, you're not driving.
l got a driver's license.
l'll show it to you.
But don't look at the date.
Oh, come on.
l said you're not driving.
Let me tell you something.
When you get to be my age,
and it's your last chance
to drive a snazzy car like this,
you'll always remember
what l just said.
Don't forget that.
This is it.
-Oh...
-This is the Peach Pit.
Peach Pit, huh?
Saul Howard.
l'd know that face anywhere.
You're not a cop, are you?
Come on.
Hey, guys.
Thanks for coming.
This is Andrea
and her baby Hannah.
-Hi.
-Cute baby.
And that's David.
-Hello, David.
-How you doing?
Clare. Donna.
-Hello, Donna.
-Hello.
-My friend Brandon.
-How you doing, Saul?
And, last but not
least, that's Kelly.
-Hi.
-Kelly, huh?
Boy, if l only had my health.
Steve says you do some
great card tricks, Mr. Howard.
Just so happens that
l have a deck of cards
right here in my pocket.
Hey, you want to know something?
l'm one of the only
eight guys in the world
who can do this trick
that l'm going to show you.
l'll do it with you, blondie,
'cause you wanted it done.
Now, here's 52 cards, right?
52 cards--
you don't want to count them.
Let me shuffle them up for you.
You want to cut them?
-Oops!
-Oh, l'm sorry.
l just did that
so l could touch your knee.
All right, now...
l'm going to fan
the deck to you.
52 cards-- l want you to look
at any card in the deck
and remember it--
and after you remember it,
l want you to tell it
to this young man
sitting here--
whisper it in his ear.
Don't let anybody
else hear it, okay?
Okay.
All right. You ready?
Uh-huh.
-Do you see the card?
-Uh-huh.
Tell the card
to this gentleman here.
You remember the card?
ls it red or black?
-Black.
-Black.
Three of spades.
The Buchanans of Broadway
was my all-time favorite movie.
Was l in that?
Yeah, l think so.
Steve said that you won an Emmy.
What was it for?
Um...
l can't remember.
Playhouse 90.
Oh... Oh, that's right.
lt was Playhouse 90.
What's Playhouse 90?
l think it was on cable.
Hey, you want to...
you want to see a great trick?
A good card trick?
There's only eight people
in the world that can
do this trick and l'm...
l'm one of the eight
that can do this trick.
Now, what l want
to do... l want to...
There's 52 ca--
l'll do it with you, blondie.
Saul, you know what?
l think we've had enough
card tricks for one day.
How about some lunch?
What are you talking about?!
l'm right in the middle
of a trick right here.
Saul...
Oh, don't give me that ''Saul...''
And don't step on my lines!
What's the matter?
Didn't your mother ever teach
you anything about timing?
Here we go.
Chicken sandwich just
the way you like it.
Nat, you know what?
Maybe you should
wrap this up, take it home.
Um... Saul's tired.
Tired?!
l am not tired!
Come on. Let's get out of here.
Let's go home.
You're running out of jokes,
Saul.
The day that l run out of jokes,
that'll be the day
Henny Youngman tells a new one.
Who's Henny Youngman?
Youngman... he's the king
of the one-liners,
'cause the dummy
can't remember two.
Jesse, it's not coming down.
lt's still over 103.
She's burning up.
lt's still over 103.
She's been that way
for a couple of hours.
Uh-huh... Okay, great.
Jesse, what'd they say?
Well, it's not uncommon
for an infant
to run a high fever like that,
but we need to take her
in anyway.
lt's better safe than sorry.
lt's all right, sweetheart.
-lt's okay, it's okay.
-Honey, it's okay.
Lookie, lookie, look!
Look, sweetie;
all right, sweetie.
lt's all right, baby.
You're all right.
David, wake up!
You're supposed to be studying.
l'm taking the information
in through osmosis.
l tried that in high school.
lt didn't work.
-Hey, Ray.
-Hey.
Hey, Donna said you
finally broke down
and agreed to do the show, huh?
What?
We're holding a slot open
for you opening night.
Really.
Donna, can l, uh, see you
for a minute... alone?
-Ray.
-Now.
Sure.
Do l have to spell it out
for you?
l do not want
to play at this club.
How many times do l have
to tell you the same thing?
l just don't get it,
what's the big deal?
lt's a great gig.
Yeah, and l don't want it, okay?
You know, l don't understand.
Everyone is bending over
backwards for you,
and you don't even care.
All you want to do
is show me off,
so you can tell your mother
what a big star l am.
Leave my mother out of this.
Oh, did l hit a nerve?
You know, my mother
has nothing to do with this.
l was trying to help you.
Donna,
l didn't ask for your help,
and l don't want it,
so mind your own business
and stop meddling
in my life, okay?
lt's going to be okay,
honey, don't worry.
Hannah Zuckerman-Vasquez?
Here.
Peter?
Andrea.
You two guys know each other?
Uh, well, we met
in the Laundromat.
Uh, Peter, this is my husband,
Jesse Vasquez, and...
and, well, you remember
our daughter Hannah?
Yes, uh, certainly.
Uh, what seems to be the...
the problem?
Well, she's been running
a high fever for a few hours.
lt doesn't seem
to want to come down.
Well, let's have a look,
shall we?
Okay.
Here's your water.
Did you let it run?
Yes, l let it run.
lt's cold.
You're a good kid, Chuckie.
No matter what else Rush did,
he raised a good boy.
Look, do me a favor, okay?
Don't mention his name.
l'm not talking to
my father right now.
Don't say that.
Please.
The most important thing
is family.
Yeah.
Tell that to my old man.
l don't even think he knows
what the word means.
What are you bitching about?
You got it so bad?
Look at you. You got your
whole life ahead of you.
Why don't you
stop complaining?
l hate my father.
He makes my life miserable.
My daughter hated me, too.
She said l worked too hard.
She was right.
l was always on the road,
and when l was around,
l fought with that kid
night and day,
till we finally stopped talking.
Months went by.
Then, one day,
l call her on the phone,
and l said, ''l just
want you to know, honey...
''no matter what happened
between us,
darling, l love you
and l'll always love you.''
Two weeks later...
l lost her.
But l thank God every day
l made that phone call.
Chuckie.
Listen to me.
Do the right thing.
Don't let too much time go by
before you make up
with your father.
Otherwise,
you'll regret it
for the rest of your life.
Good night, Saul.
Chuckie?
Yeah.
l know l'm losing my mind.
No, you're not.
You're gonna be fine.
Nah.
Today was just a good day.
So, if l do anything strange,
please... please don't
let it bother you, huh?
Don't worry, Saul.
Thanks, kid.
l spoke to your pediatrician.
She feels there's really
no reason to keep Hannah here.
Her fever's down, and...
these things just happen
with infants occasionally.
Well, at least
she's finally asleep.
Would you step
outside for a minute?
Sure.
Hannah spent the first
four months of her life
in this hospital.
l hated bringing her here.
Why didn't you tell me
Hannah was your baby?
You didn't ask.
Oh, come on.
Thanks.
l guess when you thought l was
the babysitter, l have
to admit, for that one
brief moment, l wanted
to see what it was like
not being a mom or a wife
with too much laundry.
At least now l know
why you didn't call.
l thought l was losing my touch.
You can rest easy.
Mrs. O'Brien, telephone please.
Mrs. O'Brien.
Listen, Andrea,
you're not the only one
who left out some relevant data.
Guilty.
Are you married?
My wife likes to think so.
l can't believe it.
lt's funny how neither of us
bothered to look for those
little telltale rings
till now, isn't it?
lf you're married,
what were you doing
flirting with a babysitter
in the Laundromat?
Do you really have
to ask that question...
Ms. Fluff 'n' Fold?
Or should l say missus?
Hey, l've never done anything
like that before in my life.
And you assume l have?
Miss Aaron, telephone please.
l don't know what to think.
About any of this.
Look, the short version
of the story is,
l got married way too young...
for all the wrong reasons.
and now l'm paying
the price, same as you.
-lt's not the same as me at all.
-lsn't it?
When did you decide
to get married,
before or after you flunked
the home pregnancy test?
That's none of your business.
Mrs. Hernandez,
front desk, please.
Mrs. Hernandez.
Hello?
Kelly? Listen, it's Valerie.
Did you oversleep or something?
Our psych final's
in about five minutes.
Oh, my God. l did.
l-l overslept.
Well, hurry up, and l'll
just tell the proctor
you're on your way, okay?
Okay, l appreciate it, Valerie.
Hey, Sanders.
You're becoming a regular
fixture around here.
Well, don't get used to it.
Well, listen,
you've been a great help.
Thanks.
Sure.
Hi.
Big fella!
That's nice.
Saul?
Come on, Picasso.
You can do it.
Come on.
l guess it's time to rest, huh?
That's okay.
That's okay.
You've already painted
your masterpiece.
Give me a second.
Boy, it took a little longer
than l expected in there.
How'd it go, man?
Well, not so good.
What do you mean?
What do l mean?
l mean, that's
some pretty crummy
advice you gave me.
l can't believe l ever
even listened to you.
Wait, wait, what happened?
l'll tell you what happened.
l got probation
for about a year.
They just took my license
for a couple of months.
You bum. That's great, man!
Yeah, man. Thanks.
You know,
you've got a really lousy
sense of humor.
You know that.
Yeah, but l got you, didn't l?
What, for maybe, oh,
l don't know, one second?
Yeah, maybe two seconds.
Hey, you need a lift?
No, thanks.
l think l better get used
to taking
the public transportation
for a while, anyway,
you know what l mean?
-Have a safe ride.
-All right.
-Kiss the wife for me.
-Will do.
Oh, guys, relax.
We'll get it.
-Are you sure?
-Yeah.
Thanks.
Go on.
-Okay, we're going. We're going.
-Going. Going.
Okay.
Brandon,
would you take the
trash out or something?
ls that a cue
for me to leave?
-Mm-hmm.
-Mmm. Don't kill each other
while l'm gone.
Valerie...
l just wanted to thank you
for what you
did this morning.
No biggie.
You would've done
the same for me, right?
So, how'd you do on the test?
You mean, did l pull through
without the benefit
of your notes?
Yeah.
You can stop
feeling guilty now.
Look, l'm trying
to say l'm sorry.
l've been... a bitch.
l owe you one.
Yeah. You do.
But one of these days,
l'll collect.
Saul!
Saul, it's me.
Nat sent over some fresh
peach pie for you.
That's okay, it'll keep.
lt's a beautiful day outside.
Do you want to take
a walk or something?
Maybe go down to the rec room,
do some card tricks?
l know what you want to do.
Steve.
Where have you been?
l've been looking all over
the place for you.
You called me ''Steve,''
not ''Chuckie.''
Course l did.
What do you think l am, senile?
You've known my name all along.
You've been calling me Chuckie
to drive me nuts, huh?
Did it work?
Come on,
let's go for a ride.
Sure. Sure.
Only under one condition.
What's that?
That l drive.
You're not driving.
Don't tell me
l'm not driving.
Please, come on,
let me drive.
l got a license.
Forget it.
You're not driving.
l'm older than you are.
Well, so?
Let me have the keys.
Come on, Saul.
how'd you know
l was into Bukowski, huh?
Come on.
The renegade poet of our times?
Please.
''There's a bluebird in my heart
''that wants to get out,
''but l pour whisky on him
and inhale cigarette smoke.
''All the whores and bartenders
and the grocery clerks
never know that he's in there.''
You think his friends ever tried
to put him in a rehab?
Well, if they didn't,
maybe they should have.
l don't know.
Do you really think that he
could write that kind of stuff
if he got rid
of all his demons?
Who knows?
William Blake.
Blake says,
''The road to excess leads
right to the gates
of the palace of wisdom.''
Excuse me.
Hi. Uh, Mr. McKay?
Yeah.
l've got some registered
mail here for you.
l'll need you to sign
here, please.
-Thanks.
-You're welcome.
Thank you.
What is it?
lt's from Municipal Court.
lt's a notice to appear.
lt's about my accident.
Your accident?
Yeah, l'm being charged:
driving under the influence.
Took 'em long enough.
Yeah, l was beginning to think
it might never come.
Pretty stupid, huh?
Time to face the music.
Hi, this is Donna Martin and
l'm standing here at L.A.'s
hottest new nightclub,
the Peach Pit After Dark.
Oh, and look who just walked in.
lt's the proud owner
and my personal friend,
Nat Bussichio!
Hi.
So, Nat, everything seems
to be coming along very nicely.
When's opening night?
Uh, next Saturday.
Wow, that's one week away.
Excited?
Uh, yeah, excited.
So, l hear you'll be having
live music playing here.
That's right.
So, you know what that means.
All you musicians out there,
send in your tapes.
That could be you,
here, opening night.
-And cut!
-That was great.
Can l go back to worrying now?
Yes, you can.
Why did l ever let you guys
talk me into this?
Look at this place!
You know, l think Ray would
be great here opening night.
Donna, Ray doesn't
even have a band.
He could get one.
His music isn't...
exactly... danceable.
How do you know?
He can do anything.
Haven't we heard
this song before?
Look, tease all you want,
but Ray is good.
And you're going to give him
a chance to prove it.
What do you think?
lt's not worth fighting about.
Donna can be relentless.
Mm-hmm. Thank you.
l'm out of here.
l have an English final
tomorrow morning
and l still don't know who
killed the damn mockingbird.
ltalian, see it?
See it in his eyes.
l wonder if anyone calls.
l mean, his daughter,
his daughter.
All right, folks, easy does it.
This way. Thank you.
Excuse me.
Boy, what some guys
won't do to get out of here.
Excuse me?
That was Corelli.
He dropped dead during dinner...
between the meatballs
and the Jell-O.
-l'm sorry to hear that.
-Oh...
-Excuse me.
-Yeah.
-That gentleman over there,
what's his name? -Huh?
Saul Howard.
Famous old actor.
Before your time.
Excuse me, Mr. Howard.
That's right.
My name is Steve Sanders.
You worked with my mother
on a sitcom
called The Hartley House.
Samantha Sanders.
Samantha Sanders is your mother?
Yeah. l used to hang out on
the set when l was a kid.
That's right. Now l remember.
You're Chuckie.
No, no, Chuckie was the name
of the kid on the show.
Oh...
My name is Steve.
l'm the real son.
Oh.
l knew you looked familiar the
second l walked in that door.
68 years in the business
and all anybody ever remembers
is Grandpa Hartley
from some lousy sitcom.
Well, it's good
to see you, Saul.
lt's great to be seen, Chuckie.
l gotta run; l got a meeting
with Mr. Warren.
Mr. Warren?
He's a barrel of laughs.
Come in.
Mr. Warren?
Yeah. What can l do for you?
l'm Steve Sanders.
l'm supposed to see you.
Yeah, is that so?
Yeah. l'm here
about my community service.
Oh, you're the pyromaniac.
Sit down.
l've been waiting to meet you.
Uh, just a second.
l didn't start that fire.
Tell it to the judge.
Well, l did.
And that's why l'm here.
Actually, l was told that
l could just sign something
and that you would
take care of it.
l would take care of it?
That's what l was told.
Don't worry.
The fix is in.
You know,
it never ceases to amaze me
how you rich kids
get your parents
to take care of stuff
like this.
Just tell me where l sign, okay?
-Right here.
-Great.
While you're at it,
why don't you sign them all?
Then l won't have to look
at your smug face again.
What was l supposed
to do here, anyway?
What you're supposed
to do is complete
a hundred hours of service
to the residents in this home.
Clean bedpans, mop floors,
bus meals,
wipe the drool
off of faces of people
who are too old
to help themselves.
Nothing that a nice boy
from Beverly Hills
wants to deal with.
You got that right.
Chuckie, Chuckie, come here.
Get in here. Get in.
Go in.
Here, here.
What is this?
Do me a favor, will ya, Chuckie?
Take this to the laundry for me.
What is it?
My sheets.
l pissed in my bed.
lf they find out,
they'll give me plastic sheets
and make me wear a diaper.
So get it washed, will ya?
And bring it back tonight?
Please do that? Please?
Yeah, sure.
Chuckie...
What?
No starch.
''Discuss the thematic use
of time
as a metaphor in the works
of Thomas Wolfe.''
Why did l take this course?
Tell you what.
l'll take your English final
for you
if you take my economics final
for me.
Yeah, it's a deal.
l know all about money.
There's never enough of it.
Anybody home?
Hey, Val, we're in here.
Hmm, she finally decided
to come home.
Hey, guys.
Happy New Year.
And a Happy New Year
to you, too.
We were expecting you
a couple of days ago.
Yeah, well my first final's
not until tomorrow,
so l decided l'd sneak in
a couple more days.
Hmm.
So, Buffalo was good?
l didn't exactly go to Buffalo.
So, where exactly did you go?
Exactly?
Negril.
Jamaica?
Yeah, it's a lot warmer
than Niagara Falls.
l bought some souvenirs
for everybody.
Well, thank you, but l thought
you were going to see your mom.
l was.
l just couldn't do it.
l couldn't face
going back home.
Not yet.
So l called my mom,
and she understood.
Well, it's good
to have you back.
Yeah, l'm gonna go unpack.
l can't believe her.
She's a compulsive liar.
Kelly, stop the bombing.
Brandon,
l've taken four semesters
of abnormal psychology.
l know what l'm talking about.
She's a textbook case.
l'm sorry, Dr. Taylor.
And when did you get your PhD?
Tell you what.
Why don't you call her mother?
Ask her, hmm?
You know what,
if it'll get you off my back
and off of her case,
l might just do that.
-Good.
-Good.
-Fine.
-Fine.
Saul.
Chuckie!
Come on in.
Remote control.
Greatest invention
of the 20th century.
Well, have you got it?
No starch.
l always knew
you were a good boy, Chuckie.
lt's Steve.
l know who you are.
You're Rush and Samantha
Sanders' son.
l always liked your mother.
Your father l couldn't stand.
That's why l quit the show.
Your father told everybody
l couldn't remember my lines.
You know what it was
l couldn't remember?
To kiss your father's ass.
l have a little trouble
with that myself sometimes.
Wow... Mm!
You got kids, huh?
l did.
l had a daughter.
l lost her.
A long time ago.
Car accident.
My birth parents died
in a car accident.
Your birth parents?
Yeah, l'm adopted.
Then Rush isn't
your real father.
That explains why
you're such a good kid.
What are you doing here,
Sanders?
My job.
l beg your pardon?
l'm going to fulfill the terms
of my community service.
l'm going to work here
the full 100 hours.
That's very admirable.
But l think you better
be prepared.
This is not a country club.
l'm not going to make
things easy for you.
Fine.
l'm not looking for
the easy way out this time.
Uh, Mr. Warren...
l saw the doctor today.
How nice.
He says l have Jewish
Alzheimer's.
Jewish Alzheimer's?
Yeah.
That's when you forget
everything but the guilt.
Can l see you for a moment,
Mr. Sanders?
Bastard has no sense of humor.
l noticed.
Look, l've seen this before.
What?
lf you think you can
waltz in here,
do your 100 hours and change
these people's lives, forget it.
Leave Saul Howard alone.
Why? So he can just
shrivel up and die?
That's why he's here, Steve.
Don't make it any harder
on him than it has to be.
Hey, hon.
Hi. Sorry l'm late.
l had to stop at the library
and get some books.
No problem.
Guess who
l talked to this morning?
Valerie's mom?
Correct as usual.
And yes, she did know
about Valerie's little jaunt
to Jamaica.
What she couldn't figure out,
is why l was calling her
to ask her if she knew.
Oh, well.
''Oh, well''?
That's all you have to say.
-''Oh, well''?
-What do you want me to say?
l don't know, how about,
''You were right Brandon.
l was wrong about Valerie.''
No, l was wrong about Jamaica.
l still don't trust Valerie.
What has she ever done to you?
She doesn't have to do anything.
Can we just study now?
-Fine. Fine.
-Fine. Fine.
Good.
Hey, Kel.
l thought l heard the doorbell.
Hi.
Listen, l'm glad you're here.
lt saves me a phone call.
-l need to ask you a favor.
-Oh?
Can l borrow your abnormal
psych notes?
l thought you dropped
that course.
Only in spirit.
But you haven't shown up
all semester.
Sure l have.
l only missed a couple classes.
Look, it'll really help me out.
Look, Valerie, l work
my butt off in that class.
Why should l go out of my way
to help someone
who can't even bother
to show up?
l didn't think it was
-that big of a deal.
-Well, it is.
Kel...
Look, l'm sorry
l asked.
You know what? You really go out
of your way to be mean to her.
l can't believe you.
She uses people and you know it.
Come on, Kelly.
lf Donna asked, you'd help her.
Or me,
you'd let me share your notes.
-You guys go to classes--
-So does she.
Brandon, Valerie is a liar
and a user,
and the sooner you wise up,
the better off we'll all be.
lt's open.
Put down the books, guys.
Chow time.
Oh, thank you.
l'm starving.
Good. l got enough for an army.
l wish l had some champagne.
l have the best news.
What?
l talked to Clare and David--
guess who's the headliner
for the opening night of the
Peach Pit After Dark?
l don't know,
uh, Counting Crows?
Nope. You.
-What?
-Yeah, it's all set.
You don't even have to audition.
Look, uh, forget it.
What do you mean?
l'm sorry if you went
to a bunch of trouble,
l'm just not interested.
Why not?
l mean l...
l thought you'd be happy.
Look Donna, l'm a songwriter,
l sing a little bit.
But l'm not
a one-man dance band.
l can't do a show like that--
no way.
Of course you can.
You don't have to do
all your own songs.
-You can do some covers.
-No.
Wait, you want a music career,
but you don't want to perform?
Look,
l'm sorry to disappoint you,
and l really appreciate
what you did,
but l'm not interested.
Fine.
l just don't get it.
Friend named Max
calls me on the phone.
He's 92 years old.
And he tells me,
he's getting married.
l said, ''ls she a good cook?''
He says, ''Well...''
l said,
''ls she good in bed?''
He said, ''She's the worst.''
So l said, ''Well, why
are you marrying her?''
He said,
''Because she drives at night.''
Chuckie...?
Will you come here
a minute, please?
Sit down here, will ya?
Come on, sit down.
l want to show you
a card trick that l learned,
uh, when l was in vaudeville.
l want you to take any card
that you want in the deck
and don't let me force one
on you, okay?
All right...
Okay, look at it, remember it,
Now do as l tell you to do.
Take the card
and tear it in half.
Do it fast, tear it in quarters,
tear it in eighths,
tear it in sixteenths,
tear it in twenty-fours,
Now, you got the little
pieces of the card,
put them in the palm
of your hand.
Your left hand.
Close the palm of
your hand, okay?
Now when l count three,
you throw those pieces
over your head.
-Are you ready?
-Yeah.
One, two, three.
Happy New Year!
Steve, what do you
think you're doing?
Get back to work.
This is a nursing home,
it's not a nightclub.
Yeah, how you doing?
Are you gonna help me fold?
Oh, okay, you just sit there
like the princess you are, okay?
l'll just fold the shirts.
Oh, no, no, just don't
get up; that's okay.
So, they meet again
by the spin cycle.
He, with his tiny packets
of fabric softener,
She, folding the clothes
that make the woman.
And, hey, what a folder she is.
Peter, hi, how are you?
l would have been
better if you'd called.
l know, l know, you're
the dedicated babysitter,
the dedicated premed student.
No rest for the wicked.
But, you know, you really
should get out more.
l mean, Laundromats are great,
but not what l'd call
a social life.
Then again, they're not bad
for picking up girls.
You do that often?
Wash clothes? About once
every couple months.
Pick up girls.
Often as l can.
Which isn't that often.
And that's why l have to admit
l was very disappointed
you threw away my number.
How do you know l threw
away your number?
Well, in case you misplaced it,
l could probably be persuaded
to give it to you again,
for old times' sake,
l mean, if you really wanted it.
Oh, it's okay, it's okay.
Sorry about before, kid.
l didn't mean to get you into
trouble with Warren at lunch.
l didn't...
lt's no sweat.
l'm a prisoner here, anyway.
l'm a prisoner, too.
You get to serve your time
and leave.
l'm sentenced to life.
Hey, Saul...
Yeah, Chuckie?
Tell you what--
What are you doing tomorrow?
Tomorrow?
l'll have to consult
my appointment calendar.
l'll tell you what--
how about l spring you
from this joint?
l don't think
that's a good idea.
Why not?
You got any better offers?
l'm an old man.
l can't walk far.
Walk? Who said anything
about walking?
l'll drive you door to door.
You like hamburgers?
l like a chicken sandwich
on white toast,
with Dijon mustard, and a couple
of dill pickles on the side.
All right,
chicken sandwich it is.
l know the best place in town.
Look, man, you wanted
my advice, here it is.
Get yourself a good attorney
and throw yourself
at the mercy of the court.
Hey, l don't beg for mercy.
Come on, Dylan, you were drunk.
They found traces of heroin and
cocaine in your bloodstream.
You drove a car off a cliff.
Look, the only thing you got
going for you right now
is the fact
you didn't hurt anybody
and they didn't find any
evidence in your car.
Yeah, well, obviously, they
didn't look very hard.
What's wrong with you?
What are you trying
to prove here, huh?
l'm not trying to prove
anything, man.
lf l'm guilty, l'm guilty.
l don't need
a lawyer telling me that.
Let them throw the book at me.
Oh, that's very honorable
of you, Dylan.
And very, very stupid.
lf you can manage--
just listen--
lf you can manage to swallow
a little bit of pride here,
you'll get a fine,
probation and they'll take
your driver's license away
for a couple of months.
l don't think so.
All right, listen, you
don't want to believe me...
give this guy a call.
He's good.
Expensive, but good.
Call him.
Hey, what's up?
Saul, baby, up and at 'em!
lt's game day, man!
Come on.
What are you watching TV for?
l thought we were going
to get out of here for a change.
Who are you?
What do you mean, who am l?
What are you doing here
in my room?
l don't know you.
Come on. l'm Steve. Chuckie?
l don't have any money.
Leave me alone.
Who needs money?
l got lots of money.
lt's my treat. Come on.
l told you
l don't have any money!
l don't have anything.
Now, get the hell out of here!
Are you joking with me?
Come on.
What are you talking about?
l'm not doing anything wrong.
l'm going to call a nurse.
That's what l'm going to do.
Nurse! Nurse!
-Help me! l'm being robbed!
-Saul, what are you...?
Robbed?!
l'm not robbing you.
You know what l'm talking about!
He's stealing my Emmy.
Don't let him steal my Emmy.
Oh, no.
Everything's all right.
Don't let him do it.
No one's stealing anything,
Mr. Howard.
He was about to get
up there and steal it.
-l would never do that, Saul.
-Look, here, Mr. Howard.
-Here it is.
-You're in... Oh.
Safe and sound. See?
l want you to take it easy.
Nurse, l didn't do anything.
l know. l know.
Maybe you better wait
in the hall.
Now, l just want you to rest
and take it easy, all right?
Just rest.
l don't want you worrying.
All right...
What's wrong with him?
How come he doesn't remember me?
Mr. Howard has Alzheimer's.
He doesn't remember you.
He's confused, and he's scared.
How long is that going to last?
Who knows?
lt comes and goes.
Maybe a few days,
maybe a few minutes.
And eventually,
for the rest of his life.
Where you been, Chuckie?
l've been waiting here
for two hours.
l thought we were going out.
Are you okay?
No. l'm hot.
l got my overcoat on.
Come on. Let's go, huh?
Maybe it's not such a good idea.
What are you talking about?
You sold me on a chicken
sandwich on white toast.
With Dijon mustard.
And pickles, too.
Okay. Come on.
-Yeah.
-Let's get out of here.
That's better.
Boy, what a car!
lt's a Corvette.
l'm old, not blind.
You know, l had a Corvette once.
A '59.
Yeah. Maroon and cream.
-Oh!
-Beautiful color.
Oh, yeah.
-l'll drive.
-Yeah, right.
l'll show you my license.
Look, don't give me a hard time.
l'm lucky l got you out
of the home.
Well, who's going to know
if l'm going to drive?
Come on, l'll do the driving.
Eh...
Come on, Chuckie.
Let me drive, please.
No.
lt's like riding a bicycle.
You never forget.
Saul, you're not driving.
l got a driver's license.
l'll show it to you.
But don't look at the date.
Oh, come on.
l said you're not driving.
Let me tell you something.
When you get to be my age,
and it's your last chance
to drive a snazzy car like this,
you'll always remember
what l just said.
Don't forget that.
This is it.
-Oh...
-This is the Peach Pit.
Peach Pit, huh?
Saul Howard.
l'd know that face anywhere.
You're not a cop, are you?
Come on.
Hey, guys.
Thanks for coming.
This is Andrea
and her baby Hannah.
-Hi.
-Cute baby.
And that's David.
-Hello, David.
-How you doing?
Clare. Donna.
-Hello, Donna.
-Hello.
-My friend Brandon.
-How you doing, Saul?
And, last but not
least, that's Kelly.
-Hi.
-Kelly, huh?
Boy, if l only had my health.
Steve says you do some
great card tricks, Mr. Howard.
Just so happens that
l have a deck of cards
right here in my pocket.
Hey, you want to know something?
l'm one of the only
eight guys in the world
who can do this trick
that l'm going to show you.
l'll do it with you, blondie,
'cause you wanted it done.
Now, here's 52 cards, right?
52 cards--
you don't want to count them.
Let me shuffle them up for you.
You want to cut them?
-Oops!
-Oh, l'm sorry.
l just did that
so l could touch your knee.
All right, now...
l'm going to fan
the deck to you.
52 cards-- l want you to look
at any card in the deck
and remember it--
and after you remember it,
l want you to tell it
to this young man
sitting here--
whisper it in his ear.
Don't let anybody
else hear it, okay?
Okay.
All right. You ready?
Uh-huh.
-Do you see the card?
-Uh-huh.
Tell the card
to this gentleman here.
You remember the card?
ls it red or black?
-Black.
-Black.
Three of spades.
The Buchanans of Broadway
was my all-time favorite movie.
Was l in that?
Yeah, l think so.
Steve said that you won an Emmy.
What was it for?
Um...
l can't remember.
Playhouse 90.
Oh... Oh, that's right.
lt was Playhouse 90.
What's Playhouse 90?
l think it was on cable.
Hey, you want to...
you want to see a great trick?
A good card trick?
There's only eight people
in the world that can
do this trick and l'm...
l'm one of the eight
that can do this trick.
Now, what l want
to do... l want to...
There's 52 ca--
l'll do it with you, blondie.
Saul, you know what?
l think we've had enough
card tricks for one day.
How about some lunch?
What are you talking about?!
l'm right in the middle
of a trick right here.
Saul...
Oh, don't give me that ''Saul...''
And don't step on my lines!
What's the matter?
Didn't your mother ever teach
you anything about timing?
Here we go.
Chicken sandwich just
the way you like it.
Nat, you know what?
Maybe you should
wrap this up, take it home.
Um... Saul's tired.
Tired?!
l am not tired!
Come on. Let's get out of here.
Let's go home.
You're running out of jokes,
Saul.
The day that l run out of jokes,
that'll be the day
Henny Youngman tells a new one.
Who's Henny Youngman?
Youngman... he's the king
of the one-liners,
'cause the dummy
can't remember two.
Jesse, it's not coming down.
lt's still over 103.
She's burning up.
lt's still over 103.
She's been that way
for a couple of hours.
Uh-huh... Okay, great.
Jesse, what'd they say?
Well, it's not uncommon
for an infant
to run a high fever like that,
but we need to take her
in anyway.
lt's better safe than sorry.
lt's all right, sweetheart.
-lt's okay, it's okay.
-Honey, it's okay.
Lookie, lookie, look!
Look, sweetie;
all right, sweetie.
lt's all right, baby.
You're all right.
David, wake up!
You're supposed to be studying.
l'm taking the information
in through osmosis.
l tried that in high school.
lt didn't work.
-Hey, Ray.
-Hey.
Hey, Donna said you
finally broke down
and agreed to do the show, huh?
What?
We're holding a slot open
for you opening night.
Really.
Donna, can l, uh, see you
for a minute... alone?
-Ray.
-Now.
Sure.
Do l have to spell it out
for you?
l do not want
to play at this club.
How many times do l have
to tell you the same thing?
l just don't get it,
what's the big deal?
lt's a great gig.
Yeah, and l don't want it, okay?
You know, l don't understand.
Everyone is bending over
backwards for you,
and you don't even care.
All you want to do
is show me off,
so you can tell your mother
what a big star l am.
Leave my mother out of this.
Oh, did l hit a nerve?
You know, my mother
has nothing to do with this.
l was trying to help you.
Donna,
l didn't ask for your help,
and l don't want it,
so mind your own business
and stop meddling
in my life, okay?
lt's going to be okay,
honey, don't worry.
Hannah Zuckerman-Vasquez?
Here.
Peter?
Andrea.
You two guys know each other?
Uh, well, we met
in the Laundromat.
Uh, Peter, this is my husband,
Jesse Vasquez, and...
and, well, you remember
our daughter Hannah?
Yes, uh, certainly.
Uh, what seems to be the...
the problem?
Well, she's been running
a high fever for a few hours.
lt doesn't seem
to want to come down.
Well, let's have a look,
shall we?
Okay.
Here's your water.
Did you let it run?
Yes, l let it run.
lt's cold.
You're a good kid, Chuckie.
No matter what else Rush did,
he raised a good boy.
Look, do me a favor, okay?
Don't mention his name.
l'm not talking to
my father right now.
Don't say that.
Please.
The most important thing
is family.
Yeah.
Tell that to my old man.
l don't even think he knows
what the word means.
What are you bitching about?
You got it so bad?
Look at you. You got your
whole life ahead of you.
Why don't you
stop complaining?
l hate my father.
He makes my life miserable.
My daughter hated me, too.
She said l worked too hard.
She was right.
l was always on the road,
and when l was around,
l fought with that kid
night and day,
till we finally stopped talking.
Months went by.
Then, one day,
l call her on the phone,
and l said, ''l just
want you to know, honey...
''no matter what happened
between us,
darling, l love you
and l'll always love you.''
Two weeks later...
l lost her.
But l thank God every day
l made that phone call.
Chuckie.
Listen to me.
Do the right thing.
Don't let too much time go by
before you make up
with your father.
Otherwise,
you'll regret it
for the rest of your life.
Good night, Saul.
Chuckie?
Yeah.
l know l'm losing my mind.
No, you're not.
You're gonna be fine.
Nah.
Today was just a good day.
So, if l do anything strange,
please... please don't
let it bother you, huh?
Don't worry, Saul.
Thanks, kid.
l spoke to your pediatrician.
She feels there's really
no reason to keep Hannah here.
Her fever's down, and...
these things just happen
with infants occasionally.
Well, at least
she's finally asleep.
Would you step
outside for a minute?
Sure.
Hannah spent the first
four months of her life
in this hospital.
l hated bringing her here.
Why didn't you tell me
Hannah was your baby?
You didn't ask.
Oh, come on.
Thanks.
l guess when you thought l was
the babysitter, l have
to admit, for that one
brief moment, l wanted
to see what it was like
not being a mom or a wife
with too much laundry.
At least now l know
why you didn't call.
l thought l was losing my touch.
You can rest easy.
Mrs. O'Brien, telephone please.
Mrs. O'Brien.
Listen, Andrea,
you're not the only one
who left out some relevant data.
Guilty.
Are you married?
My wife likes to think so.
l can't believe it.
lt's funny how neither of us
bothered to look for those
little telltale rings
till now, isn't it?
lf you're married,
what were you doing
flirting with a babysitter
in the Laundromat?
Do you really have
to ask that question...
Ms. Fluff 'n' Fold?
Or should l say missus?
Hey, l've never done anything
like that before in my life.
And you assume l have?
Miss Aaron, telephone please.
l don't know what to think.
About any of this.
Look, the short version
of the story is,
l got married way too young...
for all the wrong reasons.
and now l'm paying
the price, same as you.
-lt's not the same as me at all.
-lsn't it?
When did you decide
to get married,
before or after you flunked
the home pregnancy test?
That's none of your business.
Mrs. Hernandez,
front desk, please.
Mrs. Hernandez.
Hello?
Kelly? Listen, it's Valerie.
Did you oversleep or something?
Our psych final's
in about five minutes.
Oh, my God. l did.
l-l overslept.
Well, hurry up, and l'll
just tell the proctor
you're on your way, okay?
Okay, l appreciate it, Valerie.
Hey, Sanders.
You're becoming a regular
fixture around here.
Well, don't get used to it.
Well, listen,
you've been a great help.
Thanks.
Sure.
Hi.
Big fella!
That's nice.
Saul?
Come on, Picasso.
You can do it.
Come on.
l guess it's time to rest, huh?
That's okay.
That's okay.
You've already painted
your masterpiece.
Give me a second.
Boy, it took a little longer
than l expected in there.
How'd it go, man?
Well, not so good.
What do you mean?
What do l mean?
l mean, that's
some pretty crummy
advice you gave me.
l can't believe l ever
even listened to you.
Wait, wait, what happened?
l'll tell you what happened.
l got probation
for about a year.
They just took my license
for a couple of months.
You bum. That's great, man!
Yeah, man. Thanks.
You know,
you've got a really lousy
sense of humor.
You know that.
Yeah, but l got you, didn't l?
What, for maybe, oh,
l don't know, one second?
Yeah, maybe two seconds.
Hey, you need a lift?
No, thanks.
l think l better get used
to taking
the public transportation
for a while, anyway,
you know what l mean?
-Have a safe ride.
-All right.
-Kiss the wife for me.
-Will do.
Oh, guys, relax.
We'll get it.
-Are you sure?
-Yeah.
Thanks.
Go on.
-Okay, we're going. We're going.
-Going. Going.
Okay.
Brandon,
would you take the
trash out or something?
ls that a cue
for me to leave?
-Mm-hmm.
-Mmm. Don't kill each other
while l'm gone.
Valerie...
l just wanted to thank you
for what you
did this morning.
No biggie.
You would've done
the same for me, right?
So, how'd you do on the test?
You mean, did l pull through
without the benefit
of your notes?
Yeah.
You can stop
feeling guilty now.
Look, l'm trying
to say l'm sorry.
l've been... a bitch.
l owe you one.
Yeah. You do.
But one of these days,
l'll collect.
Saul!
Saul, it's me.
Nat sent over some fresh
peach pie for you.
That's okay, it'll keep.
lt's a beautiful day outside.
Do you want to take
a walk or something?
Maybe go down to the rec room,
do some card tricks?
l know what you want to do.
Steve.
Where have you been?
l've been looking all over
the place for you.
You called me ''Steve,''
not ''Chuckie.''
Course l did.
What do you think l am, senile?
You've known my name all along.
You've been calling me Chuckie
to drive me nuts, huh?
Did it work?
Come on,
let's go for a ride.
Sure. Sure.
Only under one condition.
What's that?
That l drive.
You're not driving.
Don't tell me
l'm not driving.
Please, come on,
let me drive.
l got a license.
Forget it.
You're not driving.
l'm older than you are.
Well, so?
Let me have the keys.
Come on, Saul.