Beverly Hills, 90210 (1990–2000): Season 4, Episode 22 - Change Partners - full transcript

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Hey!

That's not dog food.

Go on, get out of here!

Get out of here!

Great...

Kelly.

Got your mosquito
repellant all ready

for the big retreat weekend?



All set. Good.

What did Dylan say?

Well... about what?

Me being your trophy date?

I prefer the term "first lady."

Well, it's not his decision,

but we do have
his blessing. Good.

I assured him that
we'd be surrounded

by distinguished chaperones.

"Surrounded" is the right word.

The chancellor will be there.

Dean Trimble, leader types

from a dozen campuses. Mmm.

Wall-to-wall overachievers.



We'll fit right in.

What's that?

That is none of your business.

A little secret?

Yeah, a little
housewarming gift for Steve.

Oh, in that case, spare me.

Okay. I've got to go.

We're doing "Monogamy"

in Lucinda Nicholson's
class... Pro or con?

Well, I can't imagine
her having anything good

to say about it,
but I'll let you know.

See you tomorrow. Bye.

Ow!

Gentlemen,

I give to you the guardian angel

of single rooms everywhere.

Oh, Jane.

Mrs. Turner, huh?

Fierce. Mmm. Fierce.

You don't know how lucky
you are to have this place.

Oh, yes, I do.

It became very clear to me

that I was not going
to see much action

sharing a room
with three pledglings.

Wait a minute, guys.

I thought that KEG was
the ultimate love den.

Yeah,

if your girlfriend is into
sex as a spectator sport.

I'm sure Steve

would be happy
to loan his new digs

to a brother in need
of a little privacy.

Ooh, I'm sorry guys,

my deal here does not
include subletting this place

by the hour.

Artie, don't you ever
get sick of that song?

I'm trying to find out.

You've listened to
that 20 times in a row.

Is this some experiment to
see if you can drive me crazy?

I didn't know you were there.

Guys, this is, um, Kathy Fisher,

Andrea's resident advisor.

Hi. MUNTZ: Hi, Kathy.

Kathy, could you, uh,

move a little to
the left, please?

♪ No time to dwell
about the past... ♪

And, uh, could you hold this?

Ugh.

Look, I'm only two doors
away and I can hear everything

that goes on here. Kathy,

come on, we're
just... I'm warning you,

there's no way
this floor is turning

into the KEG house annex.

And you can tell Andrea that.

No, I'll call her myself.

♪ Why don't you let it go ♪

♪ Before it gets too late... ♪

Don't pretend you didn't
see the resemblance.

Artie, would it have killed you

to go 30 seconds
without pissing her off?

I'm trying to keep this place.

Yeah, everything's ruined.

Muntz...!

Listen, guys, this was my fault.

Next time, I'll bring you the
periodic table of the elements.

So, historically,

very few cultures have
saddled themselves

with this notion of
"till death do us part."

Instead, people tended

toward something Margaret
Mead called "serial monogamy,"

which is what?

Anyone?

It's the idea that we take

different partners for
different phases of our lives.

One for sex when we're young,

one to father our children,

and one for companionship
as we grow older.

Right.

And, unlike most academics,

Margaret Mead put her
money where her mouth is.

That's exactly what
she did in her own life.

Where's it end?

I mean, why not just have
someone new every year?

I've tried it.

I wouldn't recommend it.

Well, let me leave you
with one radical thought:

Monogamy is...

sleeping with one
person at a time.

Have a good weekend.

So, which one of
those partners am I?

Nat's your partner.

Ha, ha, ha.

Are you coming to the Peach Pit?

Yeah, I'll catch
up with you. Okay.

What are you doing here?

You weren't
supposed to hear that.

Well, then I'm glad I did.

That was quite
some finale, teach.

A little sensational, I
know, but whatever it takes

to bring them back next week.

Thank you for letting me
read your grant proposal.

And...

what'd you think?
Oh, I don't know,

I think it's a little
presumptuous of me

to pass judgment on
your doctoral thesis.

You didn't like it.

Quite the contrary.

I was pretty amazed.

I'd like to see
that film sometime.

Oh, I don't know if
that's such a great idea.

The, the film is
very unfinished.

Well, isn't that the point?

You need money to finish it.

You two have no
idea how weird this is...

I mean, hitting up an undergrad
for a grant to finish my thesis.

How's tomorrow?

Well, I'll be off
with the brain trust

for higher education,

but you guys go ahead.

Okay. I'll book a room.

I'll be there.

Why do I feel like
everything Lucinda says

is targeted right at me?

Everyone does.

She's trying to be
thought-provoking.

It's a good thing
Andrea was at the doctor,

because she would
have had a miscarriage.

Oh, come on, it's
interesting stuff.

The descent of women

to our present pathetic status.

Hey, if you had just
said "I do" to Stuart

you would be a queen now.

More like a paid mistress.

No, I definitely
called that one right.

No regrets?

Well...

maybe one.

After Stuart showed his
true colors last weekend,

and Dylan had to come
pick me up in Palm Springs,

somehow, on the way
home, I ended up telling Dylan

that I still had
a thing for him.

You did what?!

I know!

I can't believe it myself.
But what can I say?

It was a long ride home

and I guess I was
feeling sorry for myself.

You know, I... I think
we're being stalked.

I think you're right.

He looks hungry, doesn't he?

Oh, dogs always look hungry.

That's their job.

Hi. Come here,

I got something for
you in here. Yeah.

Look, look.

What's that?

There, that's right, come on.

Oh, see? He is hungry.

He would have to be
hungry to eat that stuff.

He's a pretty cool dog.

Think he belongs to anyone?

Afraid so.

That's a pretty
serious-looking collar.

But there's no tags.

Well, good-bye, Mr. Dog.

Uh, that's my seat.

Donna, what are you doing?

He wants to go for a ride.

You just can't take off
with someone else's dog.

Well, we'll bring him back.
Come on, get in, get in.

Donna... Okay, fine.

You tell him he can't go.

Come on, little fella.

Not today.

See? He's a genius.

Well, he understands the
meaning of the word no.

♪ Your kiss... ♪

Okay,

I will tell you exactly what
Kathy's message said.

"The KEG cancer is not
spreading through Marlow Hall."

Does the word "unbalanced"
come to mind, Andrea?

Steve, Kathy's
not the point here.

You and I made a
deal and you broke it.

I guess I did.

There's no guessing about it.

I said you could use
my room if you laid low,

and, instead, you
antagonize the resident

advisor. I'm sorry.

I hope so.

Because I'm not going to lose
my room on campus over this.

You can stay there,

but no more visitors from
KEG house, understand?

Okay... I promise.

Good.

Hey, Andrea, how did
it go at the doctor's?

Great.

I saw my first baby
picture. Want to see?

Yeah.

Here.

Oh, so that's

what an ultrasound
looks like. Mm-hmm.

Wow, it looks kind of blurry,

but it's incredible-looking.

Look, isn't it amazing?

See, that's the head.

Jesse and I saw him
on the monitor, moving.

So it's a boy?

I don't know what it is.

I don't know why
I called it a "him."

I think it's a boy.

Now, to me it looks like a girl.

Steve? Tiebreaker?

I think it looks
like a megaburger.

You're disgusting.

I could just be hungry.

Guess what, you guys?

I got the weekend job

at the campus
medical research lab.

Wow!

You're really on a roll.

Yeah. And the woman
I'm going to be working for

is supposed to be a
first-rate researcher.

Plus she has children,
so she understands.

Well, with the baby on the way,

I thought you'd want
to do less, not more.

Well, it is for the baby.

We have to save money
for our little friend here.

Hey, hey, stop that dog!

Stop that dog!

See, I told you he was a genius.

Donna, when'd you get a dog?

Just now. Hey, wait a second.

He might prefer
living at Casa Walsh.

Hey, you didn't
even want him before.

No, I didn't want to abduct him.

Well, you know what wise
old King Solomon would say?

Cut him in two.

Give each half.

That passed for wise?

Then.

Get the dog out, will you?

Aw...

Looks like the dog's
already chosen.

Aw, come on, Bren, please...

Okay, but I get visiting rights.

You know, babe,

you are backward
in your tube culture.

Yeah, well, for an
academic, I'm way ahead.

It's a miracle I've got cable.

Well, let's see, we've
done Home Shopping...

done Public Access...

Neither of us speak Korean.

Oh, look, we're just in time

for the week's five biggest
saves on the Hockey Channel.

Do you know what I miss
least about my ex-husband?

His devotion to sports.

Right.

So are you going to miss me
this weekend while I'm gone?

Well, luckily, I'll have
Dylan to fill my idle hours.

Brandon, I was kidding.

So you won't be seeing Dylan?

Is this for real?

I'll be seeing him to try to
get him to finance my movie.

I'll show him the
film, make him a meal,

and hope he's impressed.

Let me guess: something
spicy and Guatemalan.

Oh, God, you really think
the world of me, don't you?

Look, I'm sorry, okay?

It's not you.

It just seems like lately, every
time I get something I want,

along comes Dylan
with his money and...

Brandon, I'm not
some trading card.

And I really don't
like this petty jealousy.

Well, what do you expect?

We spend most
of our time together

pretending we're not together.

Well, it's the same for
me, but I don't turn green

because you slip
out of town with Kelly.

Well, maybe you
should, it might be nice.

I think it's time I left.

Brandon...

If you're going to
be away all weekend,

don't you want to stay now?

No.

Yeah.

No, I don't. Yeah, you do.

No, I... Yes, you... you do.

All right, I do.

No.

You know when they say

a dog's mouth is
cleaner than a human's?

I don't think this is
what they had in mind.

Here, come here.

I'll get you something good.

No.

Here.

What?

Well, I guess he's a
Rachmaninoff fan, too.

So, that's what we'll call him.

Sergey Rachmaninoff?

Rocky.

You guys,

I don't mean to
rain on your parade,

but don't you think we
should find his owner

before we all get
too attached to him?

Well, I'm putting
the posters up today.

They're over there on the table.

Donna...

it looks more like you lost
a dog than found a dog,

and it doesn't
really look like him.

Well, I did the best I could.

What are you looking at?

This shaved spot on
his chest, what is this?

Yeah, there's one
right there, too.

Well, maybe it's nothing.

Yeah.

So... how goes
the fight to get more

teaching hours out
of the senior faculty?

Could be a major
victory this weekend.

The dean's already on our side

and I think the chancellor's
ready to cave in.

Hey, that was fast.

Well, Kelly and I worked
him like a tag team

at the Regents'
Reception last week.

I didn't know Kelly
was on the task force.

She's not, she just came
with me... as my date.

Your date?

Brandon, we're here!

Dad, explain the date concept
to your wife for me, will you?

Parts of this may
shock you, Mom.

Kelly is going with you

on the retreat?

That's that date concept again.

Oh, this must be the genius
dog Brenda was talking about.

Hey, buddy.

Yes, we named him Rocky.

Oh, as in Rambo?!

As in Rachmaninoff.

He is a musical genius.

I'm sure he is.

So, Kelly, you're going off

to this retreat with Brandon?

Yep. It's getting so
he can't leave home

without me.

Mrs. Walsh, will you look

at this, please?

Here.

Good Rocky.

That is strange.

Jim, look at that.

Do you think he was abused?

No, but...

it looks like he
was operated on.

Or abducted by aliens for
some heinous experiment.

Ow.

I'm serious.

Do you think he's okay?

Well, he looks just fine,

but a visit to the vet
might be a good idea.

When will Brenda be back?

She should be back
in about ten minutes.

Well, you guys will have
to say good-bye for us.

We got to get out of here.

Bye.

Bye! Have fun.

Yo, later, Rock-o.

Bye.

Want some orange juice?

Great, thanks.

Come on, up... up.

Up.

Muntz. Studying?

Actually, I'm reeling.

Would you believe

the male produces
100 million sperm a day?

It kind of explains
everything, doesn't it?

Whoa-ho-ho-ho.

Come on, the
commandant down the hall

doesn't like me
making noise in here.

All right?

I got to keep it quiet.

Well, hang tough,
man, this is a palace.

Yeah, some mood lighting,

maybe a couple dancing girls,
this place would be all right.

It's definitely a lot better
than the KEG House.

That's what I wanted
to talk to you about.

You met my
girlfriend Sherry, right?

Yeah.

Well, she's finally
starting to get amorous.

All right.

Uh, look,

I'd love to help you
out, but, uh, I'm sorry,

Andrea made me promise...
No KEG scene here.

Oh, man, we've been
going out for two years

and I'm finally in
position to score.

Two years? You've been
going out for two years

and you still haven't
slept with this girl?

Muntz... are you a virgin?

And I'm always gonna be
unless I get a little private time.

Come on, man,
it's a noble cause.

Please.

Okay, we'll be very quiet.

I doubt that.

Boy, when they
said "relaxed setting,"

they weren't kidding.

Yeah, I'm having flashbacks
to my summer camp days.

Well, you must feel
right at home then.

Actually, I don't understand

what it is I'm
supposed to do here.

Do what you do best, dear...

Wow the chancellor,
charm the dean.

Hmm, that's not what I do best.

Well, looks like
seminar's till 5:00

and then fun and games.

Oh, it really is summer camp.

Look, girls' and boys' cabins.

It's all right, dear,

we'll only be
separated for one night.

Oh, no.

They're having a square dance.

Brandon, Kelly.

Dean, Chancellor.

Good to see you guys.

Glad we found you.

Likewise.

Brandon. Isn't this
place beautiful?

Yeah, I'm just waiting

for someone to start
singing "Kumbaya."

Exactly.

This is my daughter Clare.

Clare, this is Kelly Taylor
and Brandon Walsh.

Hi.

You guys are totally opposite

of what I expected.

How so?

Well, my dad said
you were very cool,

so, naturally, I
expected the worst.

Kelly, I asked them to put you
and Clare in the same cabin.

I hope that's all right.

It's fine by me.

I think he's counting on you

to be my chaperone.

And I'll be counting
on you to be hers.

I warned you, it's
just raw footage.

Why the parade?

It's a kind of wedding march.

See, the entire community
checks out the house

that the bride and
groom built together.

It's a symbol of
their commitment.

So, if it doesn't pass muster,

the wedding doesn't take place.

How are they making out?

All systems go.

There's the happy couple.

Look at them.

They're beautiful.

That's all anyone really
wants, is to be happy.

We drive ourselves crazy.

I think happiness is overrated.

And I think it's all
we've got to go by.

Sometimes I walk around
campus and I see people

and I ask myself,
"Why are they smiling?"

Yeah, but then you meet someone

that's found something in life,
or at least they're searching,

and you think, "I want this,

"what this person has. I want

to be fully alive."

Sorry, that was
a little out there.

What are you thinking about?

I'm wondering...

Have you ever had
a feast prepared

in the spicy tapizca style

of the Istu Paca
tribe of Guatemala?

No.

You're in for a real treat.

Hello.

I'm the new camper.

Brandon Walsh,
California University.

No kidding?

That's where I go.

Josh, what are you doing here?

You're not on the task force.

I'm just covering the
event for the Condor.

So I was hoping we could talk.

I've got a few questions.

So I hear.

My friends tell me you've been
badgering them for dirt on me.

Come on, you were a newspaperman

before you became
our fearless leader.

You know, I'm just doing my job.

Right. Anyway, I'm
through with your friends.

All I need now is maybe
half an hour with you.

Do your worst.

Okay.

Your pal, Steve
Sanders, was caught

breaking into Cory
Randall's office.

What did you have on Randall
to get him to drop the charges?

Is this what you've been
bothering my friends with, Josh?

I didn't have
anything on Randall.

I tutored

his favorite jock, so,
when my best friend got

in a little trouble
with a fraternity prank,

Randall cut him some slack.

It's hardly a conspiracy.

Are you friends with
Randall's ex-wife?

Listen, I don't mind questions,

as long as they have
something to do with me.

So you wouldn't know what or
who caused her to get a divorce.

Why are you doing this?

Honestly?

'Cause I don't like you.

Yeah, well...

the feeling's mutual.

You sure you don't
need some help in there?

Why? Are you getting bored?

No, I'm not getting bored.

I'm getting paranoid

with all these eyes
staring at me, you know?

So this is the
authentic harvest feast?

Yes and no.

To me, a feast is as much
the ceremony as the food.

So, what, are you
gonna sacrifice

a virgin goat or something?

We need an attitude adjustment.

Plus some candles.

As our ancestors
did in remembrance

of the first harvest
the earth gave up,

we give thanks
to the four corners.

Earth...

water...

animals...

and the universe...

which is man.

The light of the candles
is the light of the sun,

warm and generous
and full of life.

Anyway, something like that.

Do you believe it?

I don't know what
I believe anymore.

Earth, water, animals... I get.

But man is still
a mystery to me.

I'm glad Kelly introduced us.

You know she's my girlfriend.

I also know you wouldn't
be here right now,

if you didn't want to be.

Did you hear me say I
don't want to be here?

Well...

Sex doesn't get any safer

than when your
girlfriend's out of town.

Brandon, try to relax.

We're supposed to be
communing with nature here.

Aw, I just never should have let

Richland get to me.

Now he'll never let up.

Well, he is the
world's biggest jerk.

Yes, he is.

You know, I'll bet you he
finessed our rooming setup

just in case I talk in my sleep.

So what?

It's not like you
have anything to hide.

I wouldn't say that.

Oh, right. Our
masquerade, I forgot.

Big deal.

It's a little more
than that, Kel.

What is it?

Lucinda Nicholson...

Your teacher... she's my...

well, "girlfriend" isn't
exactly the right word.

Oh, my God.

I had no idea.

So that's why you suddenly
needed me as a decoy.

Yes.

I didn't want to
drag you into this.

I hope you're not insulted.

No, I'm...

I'm surprised.

And I'm impressed.

Well, nobody else would be,

so keep it to yourself. Mm.

They'd fire Lucinda

and they'd kick me
off the task force.

Oh, we have company.

Everyone's favorite couple.

We were just leaving.

Oh, too bad. I was
hoping I could get

a few pithy quotes
from both of you.

Why don't you just make
something up, Joshie.

That's what you're going
to do anyway, isn't it?

No private life for a
public figure, Walsh.

You better get used to it.

You want something pithy?

Pith off!

So, he was tortured?

Well, getting
shaved is unpleasant,

but I hardly call it torture.

These are just places
where they attach electrodes

for an
electrocardiograph... EKG.

Does he have a heart problem?

Well, he seems fine.

You say you found
him on campus, right?

Here's your answer.

See this tattoo?

He's from the
university medical lab.

So he's an escapee
from an experiment?

Animals don't just escape
from research facilities.

Usually, they're freed by
some worker who doesn't like

what's going on in the lab,
and can't risk losing their job.

They want you to find him.

But I thought you
said he was fine.

Well, he seems to be,

but there's no telling what
experiment he's been in.

He could be sick, or contagious.

So, how do we find out?

Well, I hate to tell you this,

but we have to notify the lab.

But that's where
he ran away from.

I know. Believe me, I don't
like this any better than you do.

Bren?

Look, Andrea's working
at the medical lab.

Maybe she'll know
what's going on.

Okay, we'll give her a call.

Andrea wouldn't let anything
bad happen to Rocky.

♪ Promenade, go
round the track ♪

♪ Take a little walk
and don't look back ♪

♪ On we go with a
swing and a whirl ♪

♪ Round and around
with a pretty little girl ♪

♪ Hey, then double-do
a right or left spin ♪

♪ Turn 'em on a
dime like I always do ♪

♪ Do a right or left
back in the usual way ♪

♪ Turn the girl sideways ♪

♪ Double-do a
right or left through ♪

♪ Turn 'em on around
like we always do ♪

♪ Hi, there, on we go ♪

♪ Swing and whirl
with a pretty little girl ♪

♪ Round and around,
and here we go ♪

♪ Side couple do a
right or left swing turn ♪

♪ Come on around
like I always do ♪

♪ Hey, stepper, step across

♪ And swing the gal sideways ♪

♪ Couples do a right
or left through... ♪

Thank God, I'm not the one

who has to dance with Richland.

No, but you have

to dance with somebody
who's gonna ask you

a lot more questions
about yourself.

She's in high school.

Yeah.

So, you're in high school.

Yeah, only four
months left, thank God.

Oh! I don't suppose
we could call a truce?

Who said there was a war?

He's still out for blood,

and he's a bad square dancer.

Well, Clare's a
pretty good dancer,

but I think she
tried to grope me.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, wait.

I think he called
for a grand left.

I've always had a
problem with authority.

Uh-huh. Are you sure
you're only in high school?

Hey... Wait, wait, wait.

Oh, God, I'm sorry, excuse me.

A younger woman, Brandon?

Lucinda would be jealous.

Lucinda doesn't get jealous.

Oh, right.

I guess she's never
had a reason to.

Who could compete?

Wow, you know,
I just figured out

how this weekend
promotes higher education.

Want to see something strange?

Yeah, it's gonna be
hard to be intimidated

by those guys ever again.

What's even stranger
is seeing you dance.

Hey, this is not dancing.

This is following instructions,

just like making a box
of macaroni and cheese.

You know, the last
time I really danced

was with you,
almost two years ago,

at the Spring Dance.

Ew.

Was I that bad?

You know what I'm thinking of?

When I made a move on you.

I thought I made a move on you.

No, no, no. I made
a move on you.

What you did was tell me

that we could never be a couple

because I was
like a sister to you.

Ooh.

It's got to be the
most awful thing

any guy has ever said to me.

Okay, I apologize.

It's too late.

But you did do one
thing good that night.

You told me that if we
were perfect strangers,

you would be in love with me.

I did say that, didn't I?

The Virginia Reel... here we go.

Tell me something.

Do you remember everything
everyone ever says to you?

Not everyone.

Right-hand style

And a left-hand style...

Come on, this one's fun.

♪ Do a no-sign and
reel... all the way around ♪

♪ Right-hands up... ♪

Oh, this way!

♪ Right-arm turn,
all the way around ♪

♪ Come back to the side
to the left-arm turn... ♪

Hey.

Andrea?

Who's Andrea?!

Ahn-drea.

Who-Who are you?

She's pregnant.

No kidding.

Andrea? Are you all right?

I-I'm a friend of Steve's.

Uh...

Hi, Kathy. I'm fine.

You'll let me know if
you need anything?

Absolutely.

Thank you.

Help her.

Don't you dare.

I'll be, I'll be
outside, waiting.

Steve... Steve!

Look, Andrea, before
you say anything...

Muntz was the one who stood
up for me when John Sears

was trying to get me
kicked out of the KEG House,

and I owed him one.

Steve, I'm touched.

But I can't deal
with you anymore.

Andrea, I'll be homeless.

Better than both of us.

I want you out by
tomorrow morning.

By tomorrow morning.

So, tell me, how did you
and Lucinda get together?

Very normally, actually,

and then I found
out she was married.

Oh... So much for
serial monogamy.

What's that?

One of her many theories.

Ah.

I cannot believe
that you of all people

are sleeping with
a married woman.

I wasn't.

Things got intense
after she got divorced.

Intense is good.

Intense is romantic.

It was romantic.

But, after a while, it...

just kind of feels
like sneaking around.

So I guess our little deceit is

the last thing you
need right now?

To tell you the truth,
for the last few hours,

I've been thinking
how much nicer it is

to be square-dancing with you

than to be hiding
out with Lucinda.

If that's a line, then you
know how to pick 'em.

It's not a line.

Could you just tell me
that I'm like a sister again?

'Cause that would
make things a lot easier.

You know, we have
two people at home

who trust us.

I know.

I think I better walk myself

the rest of the way.

Yeah.

A megaburger, please.

I'll get you a waitress.

Nadine.

I came here to talk to you.

At your service.

You know what?

I'll handle this myself. Okay.

I was hoping for a
friendlier reception.

Yeah? Call the Welcome Wagon.

What is wrong with you?

Why'd you leave so
suddenly yesterday?

I shouldn't have been
there in the first place.

Well, I thought we were
getting along pretty well

until you jumped up and ran out.

I just don't get it.

It's not that
complicated, is it?

You sleep with me,
I finance your film.

Is that what you
think's going on here?

I wasn't trying
to sleep with you

to get you to finance my film.

Dylan, it's a
man-woman thing, see?

I mean, I'm honestly
attracted to you.

Well, I don't doubt that.

See, when you have
millions of dollars, suddenly

you look good
to a lot of people.

Is that how you
think people see you?

In this case?

Absolutely.

Well, that's really sad.

Because you're so wrong.

Beat it!

Wait a second. Wait a second.

Andrea. Steve, you are
supposed to be gone.

Could you come back later? No.

I'm going to throw you out
before Kathy Fisher does.

Andrea, this isn't a
good time! Steve, you lie,

you apologize, you
lie, you apologize.

Steve, I'm not going to
lose my room over this!

Kathy.

Andrea...

I was just, uh...

Yeah, I, uh...

think I got the picture.

I was going to get
my nose pierced.

And I thought,

you know, how all these
people that look cool now,

are gonna end up middle-aged,

regular jobs and kids

and holes in their noses.

Oh, look, here they come.

Your boyfriend is so cool.

I'll tell him you think so.

So what's he like in bed?

Excuse me?

Well, we're off.

Task force meetings
are gonna seem

a little tame after this.

It will be nice to
get back to normal.

Yes, it will.

Clare, it was a pleasure.

Well, it was nice
to meet both of you.

Kelly, you were a
model roommate.

And Brandon...

A bientôt.

A demain.

We lived in France three years.

She picked up the kissing thing.

Well, we can just
shake hands, Chancellor.

Brandon, we'll see
you two back in town.

Bye. Bye.

Brandon, I can't play
this dating game anymore.

I was afraid you
were gonna say that.

I think maybe last night

might have been my fault.

In a way, I guess I've
always wanted it to happen.

Yeah, me, too.

I mean, I'm glad about it,

but it can't happen again.

Well, maybe, if you
just made yourself

a little less
irresistible next time.

You always know
just what to say.

Come on.

I'm starting to get a really
bad feeling about this.

Look, calm down.

Andrea said she'll take
really good care of him.

I know, but it still
gives me the creeps.

All right! A couple
of dog lovers.

Can we get you to sign? Hey!

Um, sign what?

This petition. It's
for animal rights.

Oh, my God.

That's what we're
trying to stop.

They call it research, right?

But what they're doing
is burning animals,

electrocuting them,
microwaving them,

blinding them... I
don't want to hear this.

No, I know... Nobody does.

But that's what's being
done in the name of science.

That's right... But
mostly, all it does

is confirm what we already know.

I mean, why force
cigarette smoke

into more dogs'
lungs just to show,

yet again, that smoking

is bad for you?

I read about this.

Don't they cut holes in
dogs' throats or something?

Yeah, that's right. Once
people know the facts,

they want it stopped.

I'm Allan.

Hi. This is Jonathan and Janet.

Hi. Hi, I'm Brenda.

This is Donna and Rocky. Hi.

Hi. Listen, there's
a vote next week

by the board of
regents to forbid

animal testing on this campus,

so, would you please
sign this petition?

Sure. Yeah.

Hi, you guys.

Hi, Rocky, how you doing?

I don't suppose you'd
sign our petition?

You're right. I wouldn't.

Shall we?

Come on.

Wait-wait-wait, wait, wait!

Stop, you can't

do this!

You're taking him in?

We have to. He
escaped from the lab.

They'll destroy him.

Look, I know you guys
have the right to stand here

and spread your
lies, all right...

It's not a lie. Yes, it is.

Do you know what we do?

Research to save lives.

You research unnecessarily.

Look, you guys, we have
already gone through this.

You know why it's
important for us to return him.

You know maybe this
isn't such a good idea.

Bren...

Don't do it.

Bye, Rachmaninoff.

Donna, who are
you going to believe?

Bye-bye, Rocky.

Andrea's gonna take
care of you now, okay?

Come on, Rocky.

Come on.

Good boy.

I mean, it's not
like animal rights

is a new thing.

I mean, listen to this.

"Leonardo da Vinci,

"Albert Einstein,
Charles Darwin,

William Wordsworth..."

Hey, wait a minute, we
talked about Wordsworth

in poetry class; you
said he was deranged.

Come on.

Animals deserve to have
someone speak up for them.

What about that gorilla lady

who was teaching them to
speak up for themselves?

Guys, I'm going to personally go

and buy you a new
dog, just so I don't have

to listen to this anymore.

Sorry. I guess we have
been kind of going on.

Yeah. Yeah.

Rocky!

What are you doing here?

I missed you so much.

Hey, pup, I thought
I'd never see you again.

Hey, looks like you've got to be

a dog to get any
attention around here.

Oh, hi, Jesse. Hey, Brenda.

Oh, you guys, how
can you turn your back

on a face like this?

It kind of makes you
want to grow fur, doesn't it?

No.

So Andrea, what happened?

Well, they said since he got
outside of the control group,

he was worthless to them,
clinically speaking that is, so,

if you want him, he's yours.

I'd say they do.

So Brandon, I understand

you had a wild weekend.

Excuse me?

75 policy wonks at a hoedown?

- Whoo-ha!
- Ah, the retreat.

Yes, Kelly and I went

and we're kind
of a big item now.

Isn't that right, Kel?

Yeah, Bran, thanks

for the, uh, return
of my girlfriend.

Thanks for the loan, brother.

Ah, what are friends for?
You know, Brandon and I

told you about our
weekend in paradise.

Mm-hmm. What about you?

Did Lucinda hit the jackpot?

Not exactly.

Looks like I'm going to
have to do a little persuading.

Well, I'm out of here, guys.

Where are you sneaking off to?

This is not sneaking, Brenda.

This is commonly
referred to as walking.

See ya, Brandon.

See you, guys. Good to see you.

Take care. Adios.

Did you miss me?

You first.

I thought about you
all weekend long.