Better Call Saul (2015–…): Season 4, Episode 5 - Quite a Ride - full transcript

Jimmy identifies a new market for his talents; Mike vets a potential partnership; Kim drives a hard bargain.

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[SHREDDER WHIRRING]

[JIMMY GRUNTING]

[BANGING]

JIMMY:
Damn it.

Come on. Unh!

This is the one.

Jackpot.

It's all here.
FRANCESCA: Meaning what, exactly?

Meaning, you know, field mice...

...and you got your nest-building squirrel,
you got your whatever.

Three cheers for morality. Heh.



- Hey, where's the, uh...?
- What?

You know, the...

- Use your words.
- Aha.

[PANTING]

[GRUNTS]

Did you shred the files
under your desk?

- Yes.
- Okay.

- What about your Rolodex?
- Yes. And everything in the cabinets...

- ...the safe...
- Stuff in the bathroom?

- You did that yourself, remember?
- Right, right.

- All right. That's it. I'm going.
- Do me a favor.

Take those, drop them off
at least five miles from here.

In separate dumpsters.

Huh?



Oh, right. Um...

Fine.

Okay, when the cops come talk to you,
what are you gonna tell them?

- Talk to my attorney.
- Yeah.

Tell them, uh, that Jimmy sent you.

Okay? Where you gonna be
November 12th at 3 p.m.?

- I'll be there. If it doesn't ring at 3, I'm gone.
- Don't worry, it's gonna ring.

Well...

...I guess, uh...

...that's it. Heh.

Quite a ride, huh?

[SCOFFS]

[SIGHS]

Yup.

[♪♪♪]

[KEYPAD BEEPING]

[BEEPS]

I need a new dust filter...

...for my Hoover Max Extract
Pressure Pro, model 60.

Can you help me with that?

Pickup.

How hot? Red-hot.

I know where that is. I'll be there.

[♪♪♪]

[SOFT ROCK PLAYING
ON SPEAKERS]

♪ Now that we're here together ♪

♪ Even the nights are better ♪♪

♪... roses to remember where she's... ♪♪

♪... to end ♪♪

♪... something that I found ♪

♪ I don't mind
As long as you're with me ♪

♪ I don't mind ♪

♪ If the ones we love ♪

♪ Life ain'tjust for sailin' seas ♪

♪ There are times we'll find
The going might get tough ♪

♪ I don't mind
As long as you're with me ♪♪

Yep, ahem, maximum privacy.

It's the best money can buy.

[DOOR OPENS]

Ten? No, can't do it.

Everyone wants these things.

Six? Um...

Yeah. I can do six. Okay, see you later.

Welcome to CC Mobile.

Sorry to keep you waiting,
what can I do for you?

So privacy sold here?

Yup. This is the place.

Privacy from who?

Come on. You know.

Like the government?

Could be.

Like the IRS?

Bingo.

- So?
- So, uh...

...say you got a cash-based business.

Like a contracting business?

Contracting? Could be. Could be.

Maybe you don't report every
single penny. I mean, who does, right?

How are you doing business?
On the phone.

How are you scheduling appointments?

On the phone.
How are you arranging payments?

On the phone. And who's listening?

That's right.
They know every lick and tittle.

So you're living your life free and easy,
and then one day...

...at the time of their choosing, bam.

They bring the hammer down
to Chinatown.

Jesus.

Jesus is right.

I'm telling you,
these guys don't fool around.

And they will clean your bones
faster than a school of piranhas.

I'll tell you what I'd do.

I'd practice something
we call "information hygiene."

Can't be traced. Can't be tracked.

That'll keep you clean as a whistle.

What they don't know can't hurt you.

Especially if you use it only once per.

That's kind of key.

Once per?

Once per what?

Once per week,
once per day, once per call.

Depends on the nature of your situation.

[SCOFFS]

How much are they?

Cheaper than an audit. Guaranteed.

Unfortunately...

What?

Well, this one's spoken for.

My supply is very short.

Now, people are gobbling these up
like Tic Tacs.

[CASH REGISTER WHIRRING]

Thanks again.

Tell your friends.

[DOOR CHIMES]

[HORN HONKS]

[RINGING]

[BEEPS]

Hello?
MIKE: Welcome to the U.S.A.

Use the prepaid parking ticket
in the cup holder to exit the lot.

Make a right, follow the signs
for I-70 West. Got it?

Seventy headed west, yes.

Keep the phone close by
and I'll call you in about 20 minutes...

- ...and talk you through the rest. Okay?
- I understand, yes.

[PHONE RINGS]

Yes. I'm here.

Mark 238.

But there's nobody here.

MIKE:
You need to relieve yourself?

No.

- Where are you?
- You sure?

Because if you do,
I suggest you do it now.

You're not going to have
another chance for a while.

- As I said, I'm fine.
- Suit yourself.

Pop the trunk.
Inside, you'll see a hood.

Take it out, close the trunk,
place your luggage next to you...

...and put the hood on.

That clear?

You want me to stand here
with a hood on my head?

Those are the rules.

[LINE DISCONNECTS]

[HORN HONKS]

[SIGHS]

[VEHICLE APPROACHING]

[DOOR OPENS]

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

MIKE:
Step forward.

We're gonna hit some rough road.

There's a strap for you to hold on to
if you reach out to your left.

You want some water?

No, thanks.

[CARS PASSING]

[TRAIN HORN BLOWS]

[HORNS HONKING]

[BRAKES SQUEAK]

MIKE:
Step down, then walk.

There are stairs.

Step up.

Forward.

That's good. Right there.

[EXHALES]

Hi.

Where, exactly?

The entrance will be back there.

You need to stay within
the footprint of the building.

[DEVICE BEEPS]

[BEEPS]

[MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY]

All right.

You can do it?

Absolutely.

How long will it take?

Kind of wanna say seven months,
but I think I could do it in six.

Even with blasting?

Well, the geologist report
was very thorough.

With the right equipment,
modern methods...

...blasting will be quite unnecessary.

Assuming your employer
is willing to meet my price.

Price isn't an issue.

[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]

So.

Fifty-six feet down, with no blasting,
working nights only...

...you're saying seven months max.

[IN ENGLISH] My men and I dug a tunnel
under the border into Downtown El Paso...

...three-quarters of a kilometer long.

Undetected.

That took us 17 weeks.

If I can do that, I can certainly do this.

[PHONE RINGING]

Yeah?

Mm-hm.

Yeah.

That's what I thought.

Thank you for your time.

Pardon?

[GROANS]

[KIM SIGHS]

Pull the short end.

- Ow. It's too tight.
- Live with it.

Where do you look
when the judge talks?

- In the eyes.
- And what do you call the judge?

- Sir?
- Ma'am.

Or, better still, Your Honor.

[ELEVATOR DINGS]

Sit over there.

And leave that alone.

Not guilty?

You can't be serious.
What planet would you take this to trial?

You should work with me on this one.

Kid threw a cinder block through
a store window. I have a witness.

Frankly, I'm being generous.

I want six months probation,
time served, no jail.

And I wanna win the lottery.

- And breed labradoodles.
- Nice try, Bill.

- You won't get away with it.
- Away with what?

Come on. You're not gonna play dumb,
are you?

Please, enlighten me.

The officers took the first part of my guy's
statement before he was mirandized.

They collected evidence
based on that interview...

- ...and you knew all about it.
- That's irrelevant.

How would you...?
Why would you even...?

Your guy did it.

Bill, you don't want me
to bring this up with the judge.

Not only will your case be DOA,
but she will rip you a new one.

On the record.

- Judge is not buying any of that.
- I think she will.

It's all right here.

Listen, I... Ugh.

Okay.

- Ten months jail.
- Six months probation.

Time served.

This kid needs a chance
to turn his life around...

...not rot in prison and join a gang.

Are you joking?
We started at 18 months jail.

Up to you.

Eight months jail.

Four months probation.

- But what happened to six?
- You're annoying me.

You can't play chicken with me.
I invented chicken.

Wow.

Okay.

[OAKLEY SIGHING]

Fine.

Six months jail time,
one year probation.

I can't make four months fly.

It's impossible. Completely impossible.

You don't have time for this.

Bill, I only have one other client,
and it's a bank.

I have all the time in the world.

BAILIFF:
All rise for the honorable Judge Lipitz.

CLERK: CR2003114721...
- Fine. Four months.

- Four months probation.
- ...State v. David Estrada.

- Yes.
- Good morning.

Please be seated.

If I may, Your Honor.

LIPITZ:
Yes, Ms. Wexler.

I'm happy to say the defense and
prosecution have reached an agreement.

Hey, wait, no. Stand still.
This is mine, remember?

Um, I don't mean to rush you,
but the meeting's in 15, and the traffic's...

Okay. Got it. Thanks.

I'm gonna have a probation officer
on my ass for four months?

David, listen to me.
Here's what you're gonna do:

After you leave here,
go to your grandfather's restaurant...

...and you beg him for a job.

Any job. If he tells you
to scrub the grill, scrub the grill.

He tells you to clean the toilet,
you clean the toilet.

You will show up on time.

You will smile.
You will say "please" and "thank you."

You will keep your nose clean,
you understand?

Because if you don't, you will go to jail.

Grown-up jail, with grown-up bad guys.
Picture that, David.

Really picture it.

And know this, I'm not gonna do
a damn thing about it next time.

You got it?

Okay.

JIMMY:
Nope. No.

Uh... No. Nope.

Wait, wait. Hey, look.

Doctor Zhivago is about to start.

Lots of attractive men in the snow.

That's your favorite genre.

Mm... I'm sorry, I can't. I have tons
of Mesa Verde to catch up on.

- Isn't that why you have a paralegal?
- Well, I have to review her work. Heh.

You watch.

Thanks.

Can you work with the TV on?

I have tremendous powers
of concentration.

Go ahead, it's fine.

[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING ON TV]

[TV TURNS OFF]

It wasn't bothering me.

Yeah, I know. I just, uh, realized
there's something I need to do at work.

At 9:00 at night?

Well, it's my first week.

Wanna make a good impression.
Getting the hang of the system, so...

Okay. I'll just go in the bedroom.

Absolutely not. You have work,
I have work. It's okay.

- Okay.
- It's all good. Don't wait up.

[CASH REGISTER BEEPING]

[RECEIPT PRINTING]

Hey, how's it going?

How are you guys set for phones?

We got phones.

Private phones.

Beat it, narc.

Oh, come on. Would a narc drive
this piece of shit?

Take it back to impound, narc.

[BOYS LAUGHING]

Loser.

[♪♪♪]

♪ I play the street life ♪

♪ Because there's no place I can go ♪

♪ Street life
It's the only life I know ♪

♪ Street life
And there's a thousand parts to play ♪

♪ Street life
Until you play your life away ♪

♪ You let the people see
Just who you wanna be ♪

♪ And every night you shine
Just like a superstar ♪

♪ That's how the life is played
A 10-cent masquerade ♪

♪ You dress, you walk, you talk
You're who you think you are ♪

♪ Street life
You can run away from time ♪

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

♪ Street life
For a nickel or a dime ♪

♪ Street life
But you better not get old ♪

♪ Street life ♪

[HORN HONKS]

♪ Or you're gonna feel the cold
Oh! ♪

♪ Street life ♪

♪ Street life ♪

♪ Street life ♪

♪ Street life ♪♪

[CHATTERING]

[MOTORCYCLES REVVING]

[♪♪♪]

[SIGHS]

[MEN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

JIMMY:
Hi, how are you? Ahem.

That's a beautiful ride.

Hey, how's it going?

You get, uh...?

You get that ink in Los Lunas?

Las Cruces.

Off by one.

And you've been inside?

No, I haven't had the honor,
but I used to be a lawyer.

Emphasis on "used to be."

And I helped a lot of gentlemen
such as yourself, and your friends here.

One thing I learned from working
with my clients...

...in the New Mexico corrections system
is that private conversations...

...are few and far between.
The man is always listening...

...on those landlines, so...

Word to the wise, uh, if you wanna talk
to your friends on the inside...

...there is a simple solution.

Yeah?

What's that?

This little baby.

It's the most compact model
on the market...

...it can be hidden
in any number of places.

And if you buy it from me, with cash,
it's completely untraceable.

How much?

Keep the rubber side down.

Sorry, guys, you had your chance.
I'm all sold out.

Give me your money.

I'm a narc, remember?

We saw you got cash.

- Hand it over.
- Nice try.

Look, Pee Wee, Scooter, Skippy,
it was very good to meet you boys.

Good luck
with the junior achievement project.

I gotta go.

Hey, hey.

[GRUNTING]

Get it. Go, go, go.

Come on, man.

[PANTING]

[WATER RUNNING]

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you.

It's okay.

What happened?

I got mugged.

Jesus, that's cold.

So? Keep it on there.

You sure you don't wanna go to the ER?

I'm fine. Really.

What are you doing?

Checking that your pupils
are the same size.

I'm okay. I swear.

- Aah.
- Sorry.

[CHUCKLES]

Look at us.
We're like a Mathew Brady photo.

Yeah, I think you'd need
a cannon to really sell that. Heh.

So this happened at the Dog House?

Yeah.

At 1:30 in the morning?

- Um... I lost track of time.
- Mm.

And, um, parked too far away, so...

Tsk. I was just dumb.

- Did you call the police?
- No. What's the point?

Anyway, I don't feel like spending
the rest of the night downtown...

...looking at mug shots
of kids with stringy hair.

The hell's the matter with me?

It sounds like you were just
in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Back in the day, I would've spotted
those low-rent little skeeves a mile away.

And they would've known
not to roll me.

Yeah? How would they have known that?

I don't know.

[STAMMERS]

Because back then, uh...

...I guess I was one of them.

Well, those days are over.

Yeah.

But, uh...

[SIGHS]

What?

You know what? Um, I think tomorrow...

...I might, uh, call...

...that shrink.

Couldn't hurt, right?

Couldn't hurt.

[SOFT ROCK PLAYING
ON SPEAKERS]

♪... hold my... ♪♪

♪ I don't mind... ♪♪

Denise.

It's Kim Wexler.

[DOOR OPENS]

Denise.

Why are you still here?

You were supposed to meet me
in court an hour ago.

DENISE: So I missed it, right?
- Not yet.

I got the clerk to push your hearing,
but we've gotta go now.

I can't.

I'm freaking out.

I'm sorry, Ms. Wexler...

...but I can't go to jail.

[KIM EXHALES]

I can't promise you no jail time.

But what I do know is that if you don't
come with me right now to court...

...the judge is gonna issue
a bench warrant.

And then jail is a done deal.

[PHONE BUZZES]

[PHONE BEEPS]

Denise, you can do this.

It's your first offense.

It was under 2 ounces.

Trust me, I'm good at this.

Why don't you change
into something nice?

We'll do this together.

[PHONE BUZZES]

- Hi, Paige.
- Kim. We've got a huge problem.

There's a major error in the branch
paperwork that went out...

...to Denver and Flagstaff.
It has to be fixed, ASAP.

Unfortunately, I'm right in the middle
of something. I can be there at 4.

- I need you now.
- I'm sorry, I can't.

I don't know what to tell you, Paige.
I just... Not right now.

- But, Kim, this is a...
- I'm sorry.

Denise, it's time.

Come on. We gotta go.

- You look great.
- Thanks.

All right. Let's go get them.

Paige. I'm so sorry.

- Let's get this fixed right now.
- It's fixed.

I had to pull everyone to retype
and proof the submission...

...because we didn't have the files. Your
paralegal didn't know where they were.

I'd really like to apologize to Kevin
if he's available.

He's not.

Let me be very clear...

...the mistake is not the issue here.
Everyone makes mistakes.

But I need to know your head is in this.

You made a promise
that Mesa Verde would be your sole focus.

When we need you, we need you.

We're not a client you hang up on.

I'm really sorry, Paige.

It'll never happen again.

I hope not.

[MAN GROANING]

[SPEAKING IN GERMAN]

Speak English, please.

[IN ENGLISH]
I'm going to throw up. Urgh.

I suggest you don't.

Hold on. We're almost there.

[PANTING]

Thank you.

You okay?

Better.

[GAGGING]

Pardon.

I take the Dramamine...

...but it doesn't help.

Okay.

Over there?

Over there.

He's not dusting it.

[MUMBLES IN GERMAN]

So?

WERNER:
Hmm?

[IN ENGLISH]
Before I can begin excavation...

...I must support the existing structure...

...to avoid a cave-in.

Normally, this would involve
a piling rig...

...working from above.

But there can be no activity
visible from the surface, hmm?

So I must construct secant walls...

...of CFA piles,
working completely underground.

[SPEAKS IN GERMAN]

[IN ENGLISH]
Um, difficult.

Next, I must somehow place I beams
across the top of the secant walls...

...to support the floor...

...and the machinery.

Excuse me.

Only now can I fully excavate.

I will need to move, perhaps,
1700 cubic meters of dirt.

That means trucking out
about 200 loads.

Going this deep,
we will surely hit rock...

...which means blasting.

[IMITATES EXPLOSION]

[SIGHS]

I will need schematics
of utility in the area.

You'll get those.

Once the space is fully cleared,
I can waterproof...

...then fabricate casts
for the retaining walls and pour concrete.

We would need, uh...

[CACKLES]

...about 150 cubic meters.

This is just the beginning.

And all this in complete secrecy.

Judging from the sounds I heard,
I assume we are not far from a town?

This also is not, mm, optimal.

A project like this...

...many, many things can go wrong.

[DOOR OPENS]

So it's impossible?

Dangerous. Difficult.

And very, very expensive.

Not quite impossible.

Gustavo Fring.

[IN GERMAN]
A pleasure to make your acquaintance.

[CHUCKLES]

Werner Ziegler.

[WAND CHIRPING]

You're good.

- See you, Marty.
- See you, Jimmy.

MAN: Ready for me?
- Okay, next.

Howard?

Everything okay?

Everything's fine.

And how are you doing?

I've been better.
I'm heading up to the DA's office...

...for my PPD check-in.
So, you know...

Yeah.

Anyway...

[HOWARD EXHALES SHARPLY]

You sure you're okay?

Supposed to be in court...

...in about 25 minutes.

- Big case?
- Not particularly.

So, what's up?

Nothing. Just... Heh.

You ever have insomnia?

Not really.

Wouldn't wish it on the worst enemy.

- Don't they have pills for that?
- Heh-heh.

I'm... I'm sorry, I gotta ask.

Uh, what's...? What's eating you?

Jimmy.

I think I've shared enough.

More than enough.

Let's leave it at that.

I get it.

You know what, Howard. You do yourself
a favor and you go see someone.

I actually have the number of a shrink.
I got it for a client.

He's supposed to be great.

I think, um...

Got it right here, actually.

Uh, thanks,
but I'm already seeing someone.

- Really?
- Twice a week.

Is he any good?

Yes.

[SIGHS]

- Good seeing you, Howard.
- You too.

[TOILET FLUSHES]

So where were we?

Community service.

Community service. Right.

- Looks like you completed your hours.
- Yep.

Your PPD fees are up-to-date.

And you've recently procured
lawful employment at...?

CC Mobile.

Address?

8351 Louisiana Boulevard.

8351 Louisiana.

How many hours a week?

This week, uh, 31. But I'll pick up more.

- Next month, bring pay stubs.
- Will do.

Are you associating
with any known criminals?

No.

All right.

Month two looks good.

Have you thought about what
you're gonna do once your PPD is up?

I have some plans.

Okay.

Such as?

Until then, I'll show up here
every second Monday of the month...

...like clockwork.

I'm gonna keep my job
at the cell phone store...

...and in nine months and 24 days,
I will get my law license back.

My partner and I, we'll get a new office.

It'll be like it was...

...but bigger and better.

Everything will be better.

I'm gonna have more clients,
I'm gonna win more cases.

I'm gonna be a damn good lawyer.

- And people are gonna know about it.
- Okay.

So lawyer.

Yeah.

Lawyer.

[♪♪♪]