Benson (1979–1986): Season 1, Episode 15 - Chain of Command - full transcript

(BIRDS CHIRPING)

(DOG BARKING)

(HUMMING)

Uh, excuse me.

Would you get on that thing

and tell the Governor
that I'm still out here?

The Governor knows that.

You did tell him, the
Lieutenant Governor?

The Governor knows that, too.

Does he know that
I have lots to do?

Oh? Like what?



Well, like... Lots.

Well, does he always keep
important people waiting?

Never.

Excuse me, again.

I... I hope you don't
mind my saying this,

but there's something
about your eyes.

Oh, please.

No, no, really.
They're all wrong.

I beg your pardon?

You're using the wrong liner
for the shape of your face.

If that's supposed to be
some kind of an insult...

Oh, no, no, not at all.

If I was going to insult you,

I'd say something
about your clothes.



Mr. Sherman, why don't
you just have a seat?

Don't take it personally.

Really? Is there
someone else in the room?

I was just giving you
a professional opinion.

You see, I used to
be in ladies' cosmetics.

And I'll bet, you were stunning.

It was my business, Benson.

Hey, you wanna wear makeup,

it ain't nobody else's business.

Is the Governor feeling
better today? Not really.

Would you two like
me to leave the room?

(MUTTERING) What a nice idea.

Hey, hey, hold on
a second, Benson.

I can't. I've got to
see the Governor.

Yeah, but what about
me? I've seen you.

Come in.

Governor? Governor?

Governor, if you veto this
Highway Appropriation Bill,

you might as well
veto your career.

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

What's that knocking?
A woodpecker.

How are you, Benson? Fine, sir.

The question is, how are you?

Oh, I'm fine.

Is he really?

No, he is not really fine
and whatever's affecting him

is affecting more
than just his balance.

Governor.

Uh, Taylor, I am not going
to sign this highway bill.

This is a gross waste
of the taxpayers' money.

Uh, Governor,
hold it, just a minute.

It's... Well, it's...
Highway robbery?

Yes.

Let me call you a doctor. No.

Governor, you must remember

that politics is sometimes
a matter of give and take.

Yeah. We give and they take.

Governor, now I've seen
you the last few days.

You've been staggering
around the mansion

like a wino walking
on a waterbed.

Now you don't drink, so I know
it's gotta be something else.

I've just slipped
a little, that's all.

Lost my balance.

He won't let me call the doctor.

He insists he's
well enough to work.

I can't go to a doctor now.
I've got too much to do.

Well, let me get him over here.

A doctor here? Good luck.

Well, I'll tell him
it's for tennis.

He'll be here in 10 minutes.

I can't believe they tried
to slip this one in on me.

Governor, sir, highway
appropriation bills

are practically automatic.

They always pass.

In the past they've passed.

The past has passed.

Let me get the doctor over here.

Marcy, send for Dr. Phillips.

Governor, if you
don't sign this bill,

you're gonna lose
campaign money.

Without campaign
money, you don't go on TV.

Without TV, you're gonna
lose the next primary.

I don't care.

Hello, Governor.

Sorry, I'm late. Hope I
didn't keep you waiting.

Oh, no. Not at all.
As a matter of fact...

Good. Good. We'll be
with you in a moment.

Right. Right.

Now, where was I?

I don't care. You don't?

No, that's what you
were saying, "I don't care."

Oh, yeah. I don't care.

About the consequences.

Now, this state needs highways.

Absolutely right!

But... But...

But what?

Oh, that's all right, sir.
You go right on ahead.

I was going to say that the state needs
highways, but this bill is scandalous.

Just what I was gonna say.

What a coincidence.

Governor, the highway interests

are going to back someone else.

Well, let them. I'm
not gonna sign this bill.

I can't tell you how glad I am

to hear you say that, sir.

Then you agree with me, Ed?

Well, sir, I think everyone
knows how I lean.

Whichever way the wind blows.

All right. Then as
far as I'm concerned,

this matter is settled.

Now, let's move ahead.

Benson, what are you doing?

Holding you up.

Well, I think you should know
that I don't have any money on me.

You are concerned
about your father, ja?

No.

I know. I am, too.

I'm sure he's
gonna be all right.

But don't worry, I'm sure
he's going to be all right.

I just wish he'd
hurry up about it.

Hi, Katie.

Benson, did you
talk to the doctor?

Yeah, sure did. How is he?

Well, he seemed like
a nice enough guy.

I mean, the Governor.

Relax, sweetheart,
I'm getting to that.

Katie, what your father has
is nothing serious. Oh, good!

Well, what does he have?

Well, he's got some kind
of middle ear infection.

That's what's been
affecting his balance.

His ear? Yes.

His ear? There's something
wrong with his ear?

That's what I said. Is there
something wrong with yours?

But it's gonna be
all right? Oh, sure.

He just has to get some
rest and take his medicine

and he'll be well
before we know it.

Great. See you.
Where are you going?

To make Daddy a get-well
card before he gets well.

Taylor, the Governor
cannot function.

Yes, he can.

From a sickbed?

Taylor, this state cannot get
along without strong leadership.

We've done all right so far.

Taylor, I'm taking over.

Look, the Constitution
is very clear on this point.

This is a crisis situation.

It will be, if you take over.

Forget it, Sherman,
you can't try to take over

every time the Governor sneezes.

It is a simple infection.

Gentlemen, why are
you fighting me on this?

Have you read the latest poll?

No.

Well, you just happened
to have one handy.

Yeah.

Look, the people of this state

actually prefer me to Governor
Gatling by 11 percentage points.

If you can believe the polls.

I hate to put it
this way, fellas,

but the people want me.

And if the Governor's
popularity keeps going down

while mine keeps going up,

well, I could be
the next governor.

And, I'll remember
who helped me out.

I'd be happy to show you out.

BENSON: What are you doing up?

What am I doing up?

Governor, you're
supposed to be in bed.

How are you feeling, sir?

Oh, well, swell.

Well and swell, what the hell.

This is functioning?

It's the medication. He
gets a little lightheaded.

(WHISPERING) How
long does this last?

(WHISPERING) Every four hours.

Nothing to worry about.

Yeah, see?

Does the Governor look worried?

Hey!

Gentlemen, I'm afraid that I'm going
to have to invoke emergency powers.

Governor.

Governor? Where? Where?

I made you look!

We better get him to
bed before he floats away.

Okay, who wants
to go skinny-dipping?

Come on. Raise your
hands. Get 'em up. Get 'em up.

Obviously, this man
is not fit to serve.

Oh, is it my serve?

What's the score?

This is only temporary.

So, I'll only take
over temporarily.

Governor, come on. Let's get you
out of here. You're in kind of bad shape.

Who? Me? No,
I'm solid as a rock.

You'll find out later when
we go skinny-dipping.

(CLEARING THROAT)

Phil? Ed Sherman, Jr.

Listen, Phil, how
would you feel about

backing me against the
Governor in the next primary?

All right, well, how would
you feel if I told you that

the Governor was planning
to kill the Highway Bill?

But that I think I can
get it through for you?

Yeah. Yeah, I thought that
might change your mind.

Right. Right.

Well, it was wonderful
talking to you, too, Mother.

Bye-bye.

My mom. Been with
me every step of the way.

Defrosting your desk?

I work for the Governor,
not Ed Sherman.

While the Governor is sick,
Sherman is acting governor.

Then he is acting very badly.

Do you know that he gave
his own secretary time off,

but he's running me ragged?

Well, I'm not gonna
take it anymore.

Oh, I just keep this
handy for emergencies.

In case you have
to sleep in your desk.

What is Sherman
doing here anyway?

Why isn't he at the
capitol where he belongs?

Oh, they're
redecorating his office.

Adding more mirrors?

Yes, well, I'll
certainly look into that.

SHERMAN: Sooner
the better, Taylor.

(RAZZING)

That's telling him.

That man is a complete moron.

The only qualifications
he has for political office

is straight teeth.

They're probably caps.

That's what's wrong
with politics today.

The amateurs are
ruining the business.

Well, I have had
it. I'm leaving.

Well, get in line.

Now, wait a minute, you two.

Sherman's only gonna
be here a couple of days.

If you leave, who's gonna
keep an eye on him?

We've got to hang in
there and make sure

he doesn't use this time to hurt the
Governor's chances for re-election.

Mmm, interesting.

Enjoy it, Taylor.

It's as close as
you're ever gonna get.

Will you two knock it off?

We've got to pitch in
and do the best we can

while this obnoxious
person is in the mansion.

KRAUS: (SHOUTING) I hear you!

If you're going to
say those things,

why don't you say
them to my face?

Okay, you're obnoxious.

But in this case, we were
talking about Ed Sherman.

Are you a bad
judge of character!

He's a nice, young man

who remembers
to call his mother.

How do you know
that, Miss Kraus?

I heard him in the kitchen.

He promised her he'd get
the highway bill through.

He didn't!

Ja, he did.

Maybe she's a
teamster or something.

What else did he say, Kraus?

Benson, please. What do you think
I am? Some kind of listening Tom?

He can't sign that bill!

I thought you wanted it signed.

Yes, but by the Governor.

If anybody's gonna get financial
backing for the next campaign,

I want it to be Governor
Gatling, not Ed Sherman.

So Sherman's going
behind the Governor's back.

Well, with the shape
the Governor's in,

he could go right
under his nose.

SHERMAN: Taylor!

Yes?

Didn't the Governor leave
some bills to be signed?

Such as what?

Oh, I don't know.
There were several.

I was thinking of the Highway
Appropriations Bill in particular.

Last time I recall they
were on the Governor's desk.

Taylor, I just came from the
Governor's desk. They're not there.

Then what'd you do with them,
man? Those are important bills.

I didn't do anything with
them. I'm looking for them.

You better find it. The
Governor's just gonna be furious.

Listen, Benson... Nope.

How do you even know
what I'm gonna ask you?

It doesn't matter.
Answer's still the same.

I see.

Never mind. I have a meeting at
the capitol tomorrow morning at 11:00.

I'll sign the Highway Bill then.

Uh... Just a word to the wise.

I don't know whether
you're aware of this,

but the polls indicate I could
very well be the next governor.

Thanks for the warning.

Where is it?

Don't worry. I took care of it.

But he's gonna sign it
when he goes to the capitol.

How can we stop him?

We can't. Can't!

This country wasn't built by
people who said can't, Taylor.

What do you suggest?
Beats the hell out of me!

Well, that's a lot of help.

But I do know, Sherman is a
guy who makes his decisions

based on whatever
the opinion polls say.

So?

So, maybe we can find a poll
that would change his mind.

I know a Pole that
could change his mind.

Leo Wasnyak.

He weighs 250 and
can bite a pipe in half.

Taylor.

Well, we have no time to
get an opinion poll taken.

Why not? We've got until
11:00 tomorrow morning.

Oh, sure, Benson, we'll
just go out in the street

and ask people what they
think of the Highway Bill?

There's a thought.

What, just the three of us?

Four. You're forgetting Kraus.

Well, that's a good
idea, but we need her.

Come on, Benson,
to have any credibility,

we'll have to poll at
least 1000 people.

That's only 250 people apiece.

There must be
something else we can do.

Yes. We can kiss the
Governor's second term goodbye.

All right. We
better get started.

Okay. I'll start
with my friends.

Marcy, you start
with your friends.

Taylor, you start with...

Whomever you can find.

521, 522, 523,
524, 525... Benson.

(SHUSHING)

521, 522, 523, 524...
Here are my last 75.

575, 576... 521, 522, 523...

And here are Marcy's 35, too.

535, 536, 5... Kraus, come on!

Those are Marcy's.

I could tell.
They're in English.

Who is Officer Thorpe?

He was the arresting officer.

Who got arrested? Me.

For approaching men on
the street after midnight.

Don't worry.

I cleared it all up

und I got the entire
precinct to sign the poll.

Well, who are
DeeDee and Lorraine?

I met them in the paddy wagon.

Nice girls. But
terrible dressers.

Ah, Benson. Here you are.

What happened to you?

It was late. I wasn't thinking.

I saw a truck stop,

so I figured a cup of
coffee, a piece of pie,

a few more signatures
and I'm done for the night.

Well, you should have known
better than to tell a bunch of truckers

that highways are
a waste of money.

I realized that when
I had to keep striking

one of them
repeatedly in the knee

with my face until
he calmed down.

So, how'd you get out of there?

As a gesture of goodwill,
I allowed one of them

to back his 18-wheel
truck over my moped.

You had a pretty bad time, huh?

They even ate my pie.

And made me watch.

Well, here, you take
the keys to my car,

wash up, and go out and
get the rest of your quota.

You're still 40 short.

Come on, Benson. I've
got over 200 of them.

I can't get anymore.

We did. Benson.

It is very late. I've
got a headache.

I am very tired.

My feet are getting sore.

I'm whining and I'm going.

Hello, Governor.
You feeling better?

Oh, yes, much better. Thank you.

You wanna sit down? Yeah.

Watch out for the table.

Well, it's right over there.

Can I get you anything?

No, thank you.

It's nice just to sit here
and watch the room go by.

I think you could
use some more rest.

521, 522...

Don't let me interrupt
what you're doing.

541... What are you doing?

Oh, I'm working
on an opinion poll.

Oh.

You're gonna ask my opinion?

No, I already know your
opinion. That's why I'm doing this.

I see.

No, I really don't.
I don't follow.

It's probably best.

Oh, I see.

You want me to help
you back to your room?

Thanks anyway. It's more
of an adventure by myself.

Good night, Benson. Good night.

Psst!

Shouldn't we synchronize
our watches, or something?

Mine's in the shop.

Remind me never to
blow up a bridge with you.

(WHISTLING)

Good morning. MARCY: Morning.

Uh, Marcy? Is the Governor in?

Yes, I am.

Oh, I think you misunderstood.
I meant the Governor.

I'm the acting governor.
What did you want?

The real governor. Benson.

Oh, it's nothing. I just
signed for something

that came special
delivery for the Governor,

and I thought it
might be important.

But never mind.

Wait just a minute, Benson.

That might be official business.

I'll take it. And I'd
like to let you have it.

But it's marked "personal."

If you'd like, I'll see to it
that the Governor gets it.

Would you? I'd appreciate it.

I'd like that envelope, please.

Well, it's just some
sort of opinion poll.

A what?

I'm sure it can keep.

Yeah, the last thing we need
around here is another opinion.

No, it will not keep.
Now, I'll take that.

Oh, all right. The Governor's
been waiting for this.

I'll just take it up to him.
Let me take it, Taylor.

Oh, no, Benson. This is
my responsibility. Let me.

No, let me. Let me.

Let me. Hold it!

Stop right there. Hand it over.

No, this is not
official business.

The Governor paid for this
poll out of his own pocket.

Don't give me technicalities.

Do you know what you're doing?

You're tampering with the mail.

For the good of
the people, Taylor.

You people don't seem to realize

how important it is that I
be informed of everything.

From now on, I wanna be...

God!

You're after his job, too?

Have you seen this?

Seen it? You wouldn't
even let me hold it.

What is it?

It's a survey of the public's attitudes
towards the new Highway Bill.

Oh, yeah? Yeah.

According to this survey,

90% of the public is against it.

Really?

We had it figured around 87%.

I gotta get over to the
capitol and veto that thing.

I think I can save you a trip.

I found it. Here it is.

Good.

Aren't you afraid
you'll hurt yourself

with the special
interest groups?

Of course I am.

But how can I turn my
back on 90% of the people?

Let's hope they never
turn their backs on you.

That's my laundry list. You
just vetoed my bathrobe.

Just testing my
pen. Where's the bill?

Very good. I'll just take that
over to the capitol for you.

(CHUCKLING) Oh, no.

I'll take this one myself.

But I do appreciate
all your help.

Oh, don't thank us.
You did it all yourself.

No, no. I really mean it.

So do I.

So how does it feel to
be back on your feet, sir?

I'm sitting down, Taylor.

And you're doing it very well.

I appreciate your
support, Benson.

Especially on the stairs.

SHERMAN: Marcy!

Taylor!

Governor! Hello, Ed.

What are you doing here?

It's his office.

Yes, of course.

But I thought you were supposed
to be in bed for another week.

The doctor said he was well
enough to come back to work.

Oh, good. Glad to hear it.

Then why aren't you smiling?

Thanks for keeping the
chair warm for me, Ed.

How'd it go?

Fine. Fine, sir.

Do you know we
were absolutely correct

on that Highway
Appropriations Bill?

The public is
overwhelmingly against it.

According to this
survey I received.

What survey is that?

Well, it's a sort of
unofficial random sampling

of all the people we
could find last night.

At a rather strange hour.

And in some rather
strange places.

You took that poll?

With a little help
from my friends.

Well, then it's worthless!

So's the Highway Bill.

You deliberately
gave me a phony poll

to keep me from
signing that bill?

You stole that poll.

Hey, I told you it
was for the Governor.

Do you hear this?

I thought you were against
the Highway Bill, Ed?

Oh, well, yes, I am.

And I was, right
from the very first.

But, sir, are you aware
of the sort of thing

that your so-called
staff has been doing?

What my staff does,

they do out of loyalty to me,

and I don't think it's
because of my smile,

or whatever.

It's because he's honest.

That's a word you can
look up when you get home.

Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have some work to do.

In case you forgot,
here's the door.

Governor.

Uh...

Just a little piece
of advice, amigo.

Don't ever try to make
a fool of me again.

Don't have to.

You're doing a great
job all by yourself.

Hi, sugar. Hi, Benson.

Want to taste my
special breakfast?

What's so special about it?

My dad said just having my breakfast
every morning made him well in a hurry.

Do you wanna try it?

Yeah.

Do you like it?

Yeah, well, I could see how this would
get your father out of bed in a hurry.

Did it make you feel better?

Well, just one sip of this
and you're glad to be alive!

What's in it, sweetheart?

Two raw eggs, Pepsi,
mayonnaise, grape jelly,

chocolate milk
and alfalfa sprouts.

Ah, Kraus.

Would you like to try
Katie's special drink here?

Cured her father.

Sure.

Thank you, Liebling.

That was wonderful.

Well, I'll see you
later, Benson.

I've got to get to school.

What the hell do I know?

KRAUS: Benson! Huh?

Could you help me to my feet?

NARRATOR: Benson is videotaped

before a studio audience.