Becker (1998–2004): Season 4, Episode 1 - Psycho Therapy - full transcript

Last time on becker:

Vinny deluca's
suing me for malpractice.

So keep your answers
short and to the point.

And remember,
if you lose your temper,

You lose this trial.

All right, all right.

Oh, you know,
the hell with this!

If you want to find me guilty,
then just do it.

But remember,
whether or not I'm a nice guy

Is not on trial here.

Whether or not
I'm a good doctor is,



And if this court
can't tell the difference,

Then to hell with this court!

Dr. Becker, you're out of order.

No, you know something?
You're out of order!

This whole system's
out of order!

Hey, you know...

Tell that judge
to get her ass down here!

Let... Let's see
how brave she is

When she's not hiding
behind that bench!

You know,
it's true what they say--

Black is slimming.

Of course, I mean
your robes, obviously,

And not the fact
that you yourself...

You're not getting out
until you say you're sorry.



Oh, come on, you just let out
two burglars and a pimp!

They said they were sorry.
Oh, come on.

That case was ridiculous--
you know it!

Now, uh...
Wait, wait, uh...

I-I'll admit that my behavior
in court was... Disrespectful.

And?

And...

I'm sorry.

Okay, I'm going to let you out.

But you're going to have
to see a therapist

To work on your problem
with authority.

A therapist?

Oh, come on,
you can't make me do that.

Oh, but I can.

And if you don't
have this form

Signed by a therapist
within the next three months,

You're going to find yourself
right back down here.

Now, look, actually,
you know, judge, I think...

I'm sorry, judge, uh...?

Reinhold.

Judge reinhold?

(laughing)

You're kidding.
That's the silliest...

And by silly, I obviously...
I don't mean, you know...

You know something,
you are a very handsome woman.

Well, margaret, you can take
down the yellow ribbons.

Your boy's home.

Boy, I tell you, after
spending all that time

Rotting in that
stinking cell,

It's nice to be back
to civilization.

Hey, papillon,
it's just been two hours.

You've taken longer lunches.

Hey, you know, I-I did my time.

And then the judge recognized
she made a mistake,

Said she was sorry
and she let me leave.

Liar.

Your court-
appointed

Psychologist called.

First session, 4:00 tomorrow.

Dr. Becker, welcome back!

Oh, thank you.

Gosh, you know
something?

I do owe you thanks,
both of you,

For standing by me

Throughout this whole ordeal.

Well, of course
we'd stand by you.

We're like a family here.

I was always behind you 100%.

Ah.
Liar.

Linda, you have a message.

Something about a job

You applied for.

Me? Job? No.

That was a

Telephone survey.

They were calling people
who were happy at their jobs.

And, apparently,

I'm on that list.

And why wouldn't I be?

I mean, I'm working with people
that I care about

At a job that I treasure...

I love you guys.

I had better friends
in the joint.

Hello. You must
be dr. Becker.

Yeah, yeah.

You must be
"doctor" simmons.

I'm a ph.D.,
but, you know,

The "doctor" part is
merely a formality.

Yes, I know, that's
why I did "this."

I'm sorry
to keep you waiting.

I'm moving a little slowly
these days.

Some lady accidentally
pushed me down on the subway.

Actually, it's kind of

An interesting story,
you know...

Which you can tell me

When you're paying
80 bucks an hour.

Fair enough.
Hey, you know,

Let's not waste
each other's time.

I'm sure you got

A waiting room full of
nuts to crack out there.

Just sign this form
for the judge,

And I'll be on my way,
all right?

I understand
that you're impatient.

Impatient?

Yeah, I once sat through

A six-hour
timeshare presentation

Just to get a free clock radio.

I'm not impatient.

I'm just telling you
that this is a waste of time.

Well, the judge seems to think

That you have a problem
with authority.

Now, if you would just
open yourself up,

I think we may be able to get
some very good work done here.

I don't need work.

Society needs work.

Unless you're one of those
"don't worry, be happy" people.

I might have been ten years ago
when that song was popular.

But, you see,
instead of getting angry,

I try to meet the world halfway.

For instance, I've been trying
to get my phone fixed.

Now, the repairman keeps coming
when I'm with a patient.

Did I scream?

Did I yell?

Did you get your phone fixed?

That's not my point.

You see, I simply rescheduled.

You know, doctor, um...

May I call you john?

No.

Can you hear how hostile
you are?

Can you hear
what a doormat you are?

I-I have two ex-wives
and three ex-phone companies,

And believe me, there's only
one way to treat people

Who are hell-bent
on screwing you.

As a matter of fact,

I once got into this thing
with my landlord.

I tell you, that son of a...

So I told him, "hey, my taxes
pay your damn salaries.

As far as I'm concerned,
you work for me."

And this was the department
of motor vehicles?

What? No, sanitation.

Try to keep up,
will you?

And that is why we
don't need canada.

Well, I'm afraid that...

Oh, yeah, here it comes,
here it comes.

I'm afraid
the world isn't perfect.

You all need to relax,
take a pill,

You know, get with the program.

No, what I meant was
I'm afraid our time is up.

Our session is over.

Do you need validation?

Certainly not from you.

I meant your parking.

Oh. Yeah, that'd be great.

Linda, don't turn down
that other job.

You can use it as leverage.

You can run becker and
margaret through the ringer.

You can screw them
into the ground.

They're your
friends, right?

But I don't really
want to leave.

Although it is a new
and exciting opportunity.

Wow, what kind of job is it?

An assistant
in a doctor's office.

Uh, linda...
How is that different

From the job you already have?

Well, for starters,
they think I can type.

Hey, jake.

Hey, morning,
linda.

Hey, jake, what's up?
Hey, jake.

Wait till you guys
hear this.

Last night,

I had the most incredible sex
I've ever had.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
There's a lady present.

Ma'am, you might want
to go sit over there.

All right, she's gone, jake--
spill it.

Yeah, so what did this girl do?

It was a girl, right?

Well, because
I'm blind,

She was describing
everything she was doing

In great, vivid, nasty detail.

She didn't
even touch me

For the first hour.

I've been there.

You add a thick piece of
glass and some quarters,

And bob knows exactly what
you're talking about.

Hey, guys.

Well, well, well...

If it isn't the centerfold
for psychology today.

Have you cried
about your mommy yet?

You know, john,
why don't you lie down

And tell us all about it?

Is there anything margaret
doesn't tell you people?

Yes. Her business.

I tell you, this whole therapy
thing's a big waste of time.

I talked, she listened.

That was it.

I mean, how's that
going to change me?

Don't you get what she's doing?

She's treating you.

Oh, please.

It's a very common
practice in psychology.

She's letting you
talk to open you up.

She's making you
emotionally available.

You couldn't be more wrong, reg.

Think about
it, becker.

When was the last time a woman

Was actually interested
in what you had to say?

That bitch.

Well, dr. Becker,

You have managed to sit
through almost an entire session

Without saying a word.

It's not the record,
but it's close.

Why, what's the record?

Oh, shoot!

Well, now that you're talking,
let's continue.

Come on, just sign this
and let me go home, will you?

(knocking)

Oh, excuse me.

Uh, come in?

Yeah, I'm here
to fix the phone again.

Oh, I'm sorry,
and I'm working again.

Then you're going to have
to reschedule. Again.

Here, call this number.

Uh, one minute.

Uh, I know this must be
very frustrating for you, too,

But would it be at all possible

For you to come back tomorrow
during lunch?

I promise.

Just so you know, he's
never coming back.

You're so quick to criticize.

Did you ever consider

That maybe this was
the only time he had available?

Oh, yeah, and maybe
he had a lousy childhood

Or a crappy marriage,
or his shorts were riding up.

If we as individuals
don't even try

To see the other person's
point of view,

How will the world
ever become a better place?

No, the world
will never become a better place

Until morons like that
are held up to a higher standard

By candy-ass pushovers like you!

Look, you loud-mouthed blowhard,

I don't have
to sit here

And listen to your insults!

I am so... I'm so sorry.

No, no, that's great.

Now, see, you're just as angry
as I am.

Yeah, you just hide it
behind that cardigan sweater

And that saccharin smile.

I am not as angry as you are.

Yes, you are. Yes, you are.
I am not. I am not.

Yes, you are.
I am not. I am...

I am not as angry as you are!

And if I am, it is only

Because of your smug, cocky,
self-involved attitude.

I run into people

Like you all the time.

You are the guy in traffic
who honks his horn

The second
the light turns green.

You are that lady
who's in such a rush

To get to her stupid bingo game

That she pushes me
down the steps of the subway

And breaks my foot!

Ooh, I know you...!

You...

You are
that inconsiderate bastard

Who watches me
run for the elevator

And lets the doors close
right before I get there!

I didn't think you saw me.

Okay, now's your chance.

Go make your demands.
Ask for what you want.

What do I want?

What everyone wants:
Money, power, women.

That's what you want, bob.

Fine, fine, throw in

A little something
for yourself, but just go.

Margaret...

I think I've made
no secret of the fact

That I've been offered
another job.

Oh, you've made
it a secret.

You just didn't
keep it very well.

Well, I hate to say this,

But if the office can't come up
with more money,

I'm going to have to leave.

I'm sorry, linda, there
just isn't any more money.

It's impossible.

See, that's the difference
between us.

You look at something
and say, "why not?"

I look at something
and say... "why not?"

That doesn't make any sense.

Why not?

(groans)

Hi, jake.
Hi.

Hi, jake.

I'm holding the door open
for two ladies.

Mm-hmm, yes,
margaret and linda.

Okay, now I'm holding
the door open for you,

And I'm walking
to the step.

Oh, here it is.

Uh-huh, I remember.

You know, I come
here everyday.

(chuckling):
Oh.

A strange little man

Just waved and is looking
at me in a dirty way.

Hi, bob.

How'd you know?

Well, that's
what bob does.

I'm nothing if not consistent.

Well, okay, jake,
I'm going to work now.

I'm walking to the door.

Now I'm opening it,

And now I am blowing you
a kiss...

And waving bye-bye.

Bye, kayla.

That woman is driving me
out of my mind.

Was that the talker?

Oh, what was
your first clue?

The fact that she
never shut up?

She describes every single
moment of every single day.

But I thought
you liked that.

Yeah, it's great when
we're having sex.

She just spent the
past half hour

Describing everyone
on the subway.

You're kidding!

Not seeing those freaks
on the a train

Is one of the perks
of being blind.

Hey, reg, reg,
get out here!

All right. Stop yelling.

What's it mean

When your shrink starts ranting
and raving like a lunatic?

She's spending too much time
with you?

Shut up, bob.

Becker, don't you see
what she's doing?

She's not yelling at you.

She's holding up a mirror
to your psyche

To show you exactly
what your anger looks like.

Oh, what a load of crap.

Careful, here, jake, I'm right
behind you with hot coffee.

Yeah, I know
you're behind me!

You don't have to tell
me what you're doing!

I mean, why does
everyone think

They have to explain
everything to me?

I knew you were behind me

'cause I heard you
clopping around

In your big, ugly shoes.

Why would you say
my shoes are ugly?

Kayla told me.

Margaret:
John?

Oh!

Stop sneaking up on me,
will you?

What do you want?

You just got another
strange message

From your therapist.

Something about
"finding the woman

"who pushed her down

The subway steps" and
then something else

About "payback time."

What?

Oh, oh, no,
th-that's-that's not real.

That's just a psychological
trick to show me

What my anger looks like.

Why didn't she just ask me?

Heads up.

Linda's coming in
to demand a raise

Or else she's
going to leave.

I'll miss her.

John, look,

I know there's no money,

But I don't think
she really wants to go,

So just give her something.

How about I throw her
a ball of yarn under that chair

To distract her?

I wouldn't count on that working
a second time.

Dr. Becker?

Yeah...

I've been offered
another job.

If you want me to stay,

You're going to have
to give me more money.

Here's what I
was thinking.

And here's
what I was thinking.

But that's less
than what I make now.

Fewer hours?

No.

Better
benefits?
Uh-uh.

More vacation?

No.

Well, come on,

You have to give
me something.

How about that pen?

This?
This is my favorite pen.

Oh, come on, you got it free
from a drug company.

All right,
I got a pen!

Did you give
her my pen?

Hi, becker.

(yelps, stammers)

You never returned
any of my calls.

What the hell
are you doing here?!

You know, when I first met you,

I thought you were the one
with the problem,

But the more I thought
about what you said,

The more I saw, you might be
the sanest person I've ever met.

And you got in here how?

The thing is, becker,
you set me free!

Yeah, I'm going
to set you free again.

Here's the door.

The other day, when I started
yelling at you, I felt alive.

I couldn't stop.

I mean, you were right
about what you said

About not letting other people
walk all over me.

(door slams)

The things you said--

Man, they empowered me!

Yeah. Not my intention.

Oh, and you were right
about that phone guy.

He never showed up.

I thought to myself,

"now, what would becker do?"

So I went out
and got a pair of wire cutters,

Went to his house and...

Oh, my god, you didn't cut
his phone lines, did you?

No! His brake line.

On his car?

I mean, what happens
when he tries to stop?

Nothing.

Then I was really
on a roll.

I did my
accountant's car,

My landlord's,
my ex-husband's...

I'm telling you, becker,

Once I started following
your philosophy,

My entire life fell into place.

No, no,

I-I don't have a philosophy.

I mean, sure,
I talk a good game,

But that-that's all it is,
just talk.

Th-there's a big difference
between a letter to the editor

And... And a molotov cocktail.

Molotov cocktail, right!

That fits in perfectly
with my plans for tomorrow.

Th-that's just crazy!

You can't...

Oh. Oh... Oh!

Oh, my god! Whoa!

(both laughing)

I see what you're doing.

You're good.

You're very good.

You didn't do any of that stuff.

You're just holding a mirror up

So I can see
what my anger looks like.

Where'd you get
that load of crap?

Oh, my god.

You really are crazy,
aren't you?

Look, uh...

Doctor, I'm a...
I'm a real doctor,

And th-th-this is some
really good medical advice.

I-I want you to just, uh,
you know, take a minute here,

Try to relax, you know,
take a deep breath...

And sign my form.

If I were you--

And I'll be damned
if I don't feel like I am--

I would just tear this thing
right up.

Oh, no, no, no.
Show the judge

That you are
not going to be

A slave to
the system.

That's what you taught me,
becker,

And I will never,
ever forget it.

Yeah, look, uh,
I wish

You wouldn't go around
giving me credit for that stuff.

I-I'd hate to see my name
come up during a...

An arraignment or something.

Hi, jake!
It's me, kayla.

Oh, hi, kayla.

Kiss.

By the way, I'm wearing
black slacks, a red top

And my hair is up.

Mm-hmm.

So, why'd you want to see me?

Listen, let's
sit down, kayla.

Okay. I'm taking you
by the arm,

And we are taking
two steps forward.

One, two.
Kayla...

And now I'm letting go,
so that...

Would you please
stop doing that?

I don't need anyone
to describe

Every single detail
of the world to me.

It's condescending.

I mean, the sex
was good, but...

Don't take this personally,

The sound of your voice
makes my skin crawl.

Jake, I have a total look
of surprise right now.

Kayla,

You're a nice person...

Kayla...

Kayla?

You still there?

Yeah, she's here,

But she looks
really pissed.

Now she's going
to the door.

No? Something
caught her eye.

Uh-oh.

It's a large pitcher
of ice tea.

Now she's walking
back to you.

Wh-what's she doing now?

I'm sorry, jake,
I-I just remembered

You don't like people
describing things to you.

Ah, it's just too good
to keep to myself.

She poured it in your lap!

Thanks for walking me
to the bank, becker.

I always get
nervous when I have

A whole week's
worth of receipts.

Well, don't be
too grateful.

I'm not going to be a hero
over 40 bucks.

Simmons:
Hey, hey, you!

Slow down!
Speed limit's 25!

Uh...

W-wait here
for a minute, will you?

Hey, you! You're jaywalking!

Becker!

What are you
doing out here?

Exactly what
you taught me to do:

I'm fighting a good fight!

Yes, yes, I, uh...
I see that.

As a matter of fact,

You've-you've become
quite a hero of mine.

Say, I wonder, do you
think you could give me

Your, uh...
Your autograph?

You just want me to sign
your form, don't you?

I'll give you five bucks.

Deal.

You know, becker,

You and I have been
on quite a journey together.

In fact, I...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Good luck with that.

Come on, let's go.

See, becker,
therapy did change you.

Before you started,

You would have never given money
to a homeless person.

Well, you know me.

I like to meet the
world halfway.

Not a chance.
Get a job, spokes.