Beavis and Butt-Head (2022–…): Season 1, Episode 11 - Refuse Service/Downward Dumbass - full transcript

Ugh, damn it.

How the hell are we supposed
to sleep with all this noise?

Eh.

What's it say, Butt-Head?

Uh,

"We re-serve
the rig-hut to re-fussy..."

It says, "We reserve the right

to refuse service to anyone."

Uh...

It means employees
can refuse service

to a customer
who violates our policies.



- Uh...
- Huh?

Like, if a customer creates

an unsafe
or a hostile work environment.

Whoa, that would be cool.

Yeah, unsafe kicks ass.

Uh, wait a second.

So we can, like, refuse service
to anyone we want?

No, only if they
violate our policies

or create an unsafe
or hostile work environment,

Cool.

Maybe work wouldn't suck so much

if it was unsafe and hostile.

Yeah, motivation is cool.

These cheerleaders don't
seem all that great, you know?



Yeah, really.

The cheerleaders at our school
are better than this,

and half of 'em are pregnant.

Yeah, that's cool.

The coach is like,
"Olivia Rodrigo,

"I've been noticing you've been
half-assing it at practice.

"You're supposed to be

"cheering
for the Fighting Dolphins,

not yelling
about your boyfriend."

"When you wear this uniform,
you rep the school.

"Now, if you wanna go burn down

"Your boyfriend's house,

you do it
in your street clothes."

"This is not gonna help us
beat the Wildcats."

Uh, what is that word,
"sociopath"?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I wonder what it means.

That school psychiatrist
said I was one of those.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

But it didn't matter, 'cause
I don't care about her at all.

Or anyone else, really.

I don't care about others.

You know, I would love

to have a girl be this mad at me

because that means
that I scored with her before,

you know?

Yeah, no girl will ever be

this pissed off
about you, Beavis.

Yeah, yeah.

No one's ever gonna
burn down my house.

I guess I'll just have
to do it myself.

You'll die alone.

Shut up, Butt-Head.

Hi, I want a bacon cheeseburger

with lettuce and tomato,
but extra tomato,

and a vanilla shake,

and a large half-fries,
half-onion rings.

Uh, I refuse.

What?
Why?

You're, like,
creating a work environment.

But you work here.

Isn't this your job?

You just did it again, dumbass.

I'm sorry, sir.

I'm gonna have
to ask you to leave.

Yeah, we'll have
three regular hamburgers.

- Uh-huh.
- No ketchup on one of them.

Ketchup sucks.

And we'll take
two orders of fries.

Would you like to try
our new Macho Hot Fries

for $1 more?

Sounds good.

You got all that?

No.

What do you mean, "No"?

I refuse.

I'm not gonna make it,

'cause you're, like,
violating our policies.

How exactly am I
violating your policies?

Um, what's the policy again?

Would you just give us our food?

I think it's, like, you're
being a butthole or something.

And, like, you suck.

Thank you.
Drive through.

We won't be
needing this anymore.

Can we have
two junior burger meals

with the apple slices?

And I'll have a salad.

- Uh, no, you cannot.
- We know our rights, ma'am.

We sure do.

They're on that sign
full of words.

Um, Butt-Head,

that's the sign that shows you
how to choke somebody.

Okay, I wanna see
the manager right now.

I refuse.

Ugh.

Yeah, and don't come back!

Thank you
for choosing Burger World.

Hey, guys, we're here, and
today, we've got some new items

to the studio, and I'm super,
super excited about it.

I'm not quite sure
what's in here.

Oh, this is that video where
he unboxes real human skulls.

Yeah, that's messed up.

If you're unboxing
real human skulls,

you shouldn't start out with,

"Hey, guys,
I'm super, super excited."

Yeah, really.

Your start out like...

Like that Crypt Keeper dude,
you know?

Like, how he's always
making puns, you know?

"Welcome, boils and ghouls."

"If you are watching,
you just might get a head."

"Oh, what have we here?

This is to remind you
to stay in skull."

Wait a minute.

Wait,
where do they get these skulls?

Uh, from dead people.

Wait a minute,
so he... so he's, like,

a serial killer or something?

Yeah.

Police have just arrested a man

known as
the dumbass-who-shows-off-

his-skulls-on-YouTube killer."

"Neighbors said he seems
like a serial killer,

and he's got a bunch of skulls
in his apartment."

"Neighbors said he would
show off his skulls

"and say,
'Meet my new tomb-mate.'"

Yeah.

"Would you like to come
into my apartment

and take a whiz
in the bath-tomb?"

He's like...

"These skulls give me
a bone-r."

You know, yeah, 'cause the bone
is, like, you know...

Skull is, like, a bone,
you know.

Uh, yes, I get it, Beavis.

Don't run it into the ground.

But I'm getting grave reviews.

I'm going to kick your ass.

Now shut up.

You know, yeah, wait a second.

I don't think I get that one.

This was an old,
old preparation...

That guy, who the skull
belong to, is like,

"You know, I lived a good life.

"I raised a family, and now
this dumbass is playing

with my skull on YouTube."

Man, this is really
messed up, Butt-Head.

Think maybe
we should call the police?

Uh, nah.

It's not my problem.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, it's not my skull.

I hope you guys enjoy it.
Ciao.

"Ciao.

I'm gonna go chow down
on some human flesh."

Uh, can I get a double
cheeseburger, large fries,

and a root beer?

Yes, you can,

but not here.

I refuse.

Butt-Head, Butt-Head.

There's a hot chick in line.
Check her out.

Should I refuse her?

Whoa, she's creating
a hostile environment

in my pants.

Hey, yeah, really.

It's getting unsafe in there.

Let me handle this, Beavis.

Um, I guess
I could let you handle it.

But I was kind of hoping
the hot chick would...

I thought you meant...

Ahh!

Stop it.
Don't you ever...

Ah-ah-oh!

Get out there.

What's this about you guys
refusing to serve people?

Nothing could be further
from the truth, ma'am.

I'll have Beavis
bring you everything

from our entire menu.

I am servicing
the right to reserve you.

Uh, and allow me to provide
you a little entertainment.

Check this out.

Uh, you, and, uh,
you over there,

we reserve the right
to refuse you service,

unless you fight.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Fight.

Winner gets to eat, yeah.

And the loser shall be refused.

That is our right,
and we reserve it.

This is bullshit.

I'm not gonna hurt this guy
for a lousy cheeseburger.

Yeah, except, you know,
you wouldn't hurt me.

Ooh!

He just said
he can kick your ass.

You'll be on the floor
in about five seconds.

- Yeah, fight, fight!
- You wanna go?

You wanna go?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Kick his ass.

Worldstar.

Hey!

Well, we did it, Beavis.

This place is an unsafe
and hostile work environment.

Yeah, manager's gonna be
really proud of us, you know?

It's a good thing
he put up that sign.

I guess it's not up anymore.

Oh, there it is.

Butt-Head, the sign broke.

Eh, damn it.

Now we have
to serve people again.

Yeah, this job sucks.