Batman (1966–1968): Season 1, Episode 16 - He Meets His Match, the Grisly Ghoul - full transcript
A power failure prevents Batman and Robin from being electrocuted. Meanwhile, a recording Batman made confirms that cheerleader Susie is one of the Joker's confederates. Robin, in his Dick Grayson identity, attempts to infiltrate the gang. Meanwhile, the Joker's main plot is finally revealed. Members of the high school basketball team receive answers to final exams from the rigged vending machines. The Joker appears, claiming to be a concerned citizen. The team's starters will be suspended as the Joker bets big money on the team's next opponent. Batman, however, has other ideas.
We have previously
seen a day at school...
a glass of milk.
Not milk, but money.
Holy cow juice.
It's easy living.
Sounds like the Joker.
Watch out, kids, the
Joker's back of this.
How true.
What's he up to?
An innocent jukebox?
Oh, yeah?
Plunder by remote control.
And in the Joker's workshop...
Cheerleader Susie...
a secret member of the gang?
But what's the Joker's plan?
And that night at school...
Watch out!
Ouch!
Knockout gas.
And inside this
van, a ghastly game.
Three lemons win 5 0,000 volts.
One lemon.
Two lemons.
- Hey, boss, look.
- What, what, what?
- The whole town, dark.
- Street lights, everything.
Oh, curses and criminy,
what confounded luck.
Gotham City is having a
power failure, just like New York.
The cops.
I don't like the twist this joke is taking.
Let us away. Cheese it, everyone.
Let's go. Let's go.
Strange, an abandoned truck.
Let's have a look inside.
Holy smoke.
Quick, cut us out of here
before the power comes on.
Or that's what we will
be, just holy smokes.
A mobile slot-machine
torture van.
Being in possession of such a
vehicle violates 17 separate statutes.
And not a shred of evidence
tying it to the devilish Joker.
No fingerprints,
stolen license plates.
You overlooked
this, Chief O'Hara.
A reel of tape?
Right, the tape from
our anti-crime recorder.
Before setting out, I equipped my utility
belt with a microphone and transmitter.
Every word those criminals said
was recorded in the Batmobile.
But what good will
that do, Boy Wonder?
I thought you told us they spoke to
you through a trick, uh, voice distorter.
Tricky, commissioner.
Tricky but vain.
They didn't realize that every human
voice has its own private wave pattern.
- Private as a fingerprint.
- Astounding.
Is it evidence? Can it be
used by the district attorney?
True. The court
won't accept it as yet.
However, I'll take this
tape to the Batcave...
run it through the anti-crime voice
analyzer, check it against the voice file.
We'll be able to learn the
identity of the Joker's henchmen.
We might be able to follow one
of them to the Joker's hideout.
Robin's right.
It's our only card.
Let's hope it's a trump.
I'm afraid the Joker may still
hold the winning hand, Batman.
Will the anti-crime voice
analyzer operate without power?
Fortunately, the Batcave is equipped
with an anti-crime auxiliary generator...
which automatically
compensates for any power failure.
Saints be praised.
And the Caped Crusader's
advanced technology.
To the Batcave.
Morning. Hallelujah.
The mighty power grid serving
Gotham City is back in action.
And in the Batcave, deep
below stately Wayne Manor...
Master scope circuit, A-okay.
- Let's check the beginning of the tape.
- Right.
That'll be Susie when
we ran into her in the hall.
- Wow, am I ever glad to see you two.
- Perfect.
- What'll I do? Jump the tape ahead?
- Roger.
Pick it up at 12.7.
That'll be when we were tied
inside that grisly torture van.
Twelve point
seven, here it goes.
Oh, what a ball.
- The same voice.
- I don't believe it. Susie?
Quick, both tapes. Let's
run them again, back to back.
Wow, am I ever
glad to see you two.
Oh, what a ball.
Holy Benedict Arnold.
Susie, our chief cheerleader, a
member of the Joker's criminal gang.
Is it possible, Batman?
Steady, Robin. Steady, old chum.
But how can it be?
It's an old story I'm afraid,
old as Eve and the apple.
That snake, the Joker must have
promised her some baubles, led her astray.
But what are we
gonna do, Batman?
It's bitter, but it's a break,
the first one we've had.
- We'll have to use it.
- You're right. Only how?
Let's see. Today is a
school holiday, isn't it?
Where is that cute little
trickster apt to be hanging out?
I know. The Easy
Living candy store.
It's on East 3rd, two
blocks from school.
Get set, Robin. Get
set for an ugly job.
- No, correction.
- What?
Not Robin, Dick. Dick
Grayson, undercover agent.
His job is to get
inside that gang.
Dog George to Batman,
do you read me?
- Do you read me, Batman?
- Loud and clear, over.
I'm about to go in. How's
that micro TV camera working?
- Push button for test pattern.
- Roger.
Batscope, A-okay, Dog George.
Rendezvous in Batcave at end of mission.
Good luck, over and out.
Good gravy. It's Dick Grayson,
president of the student council.
A goodnik like that
coming in here?
Hi, Sue baby.
How's tricks?
I must be seeing things. I thought
you spent all your spare time studying.
Ah, sure. I used to, maybe,
but, uh, who needs it anymore.
You're looking at a guy
who's seen the light, Sue baby.
- Who's the boyfriend?
- Oh, my friends call me Nick.
No kidding? What do
your enemies call you?
My enemies ain't in no
condition to call nobody nothing.
Heh, some joker, isn't he?
Uh...
You looking for
something, Dicky boy?
Heh, same as
everyone else, Sue baby.
Some way of making
an easy buck, that's all.
You, the ward of that rich
millionaire, Bruce Wayne?
What a skinflint. If I didn't swipe dimes from
the butler, I wouldn't have cigarette money.
Well, here. Have
one on me, buster.
- Oh, thanks, pal.
- Right.
I better pass this round. I
already had two packs today.
So how's the easy buck
setup? Got any leads?
You know, he might be able to help
us, Nick. He's a real super athlete.
- Oh, is that so?
- You ought to see him climb and stuff.
- Maybe I should introduce him to...
- Zip your lip, baby.
Introduce me to who, Susie?
- Hey, you want a tip, buster?
- Yeah.
Oh, there was a cocktail lounge stuck up
recently. These guys used a trick jukebox.
- Yeah. I heard about that, some cute caper.
- Yeah.
Well, here's my tip. You go down to
that same joint at exactly 3 p.m. today.
You might pick yourself
up some nickels and dimes.
- Thanks, pal.
- That's my tip.
- I'll see you around, huh?
- Oh, yeah. You'll see me around.
So long, Sue baby.
Gee, Nick. What's the idea?
Why, you gorgeous dumb hunk
of cheerleader, couldn't you see?
- That guy is strictly a phony.
- What do you mean?
Already had two packs today,
huh? My blind grandmother could see.
That guy never had a
weed in his hand in his life.
Good gravy.
How'd I do, Batman?
Good show, Robin.
Darn good show.
It's 20 minutes to 3.
We'd better hurry up if
we're gonna trap them.
Right you are. Let's go.
A trap indeed, but
who's the mouse?
For in the lurid lair of that
criminal cat, the Joker...
My favorite kind of joke,
one which ends with a bang.
- Ha-ha-ha.
- Right. And what about, uh, Susie?
Has she, uh, filled the
milk machine again?
She's just getting ready.
Uh, Susie, sweetie...
a special extra bonus...
a half-pint bottle of the most
exquisite imported Canadian perfume.
Wow, Canadian perfume.
It's called Un Nuit Sans
Fin, one endless night.
Gee, that's like poetry.
No, Susie, no.
Do not open until after you've loaded
the milk machine, do you understand?
Oh, sure, Joker,
anything you say.
You're just the best
boss any crook ever had.
Oh, thank you.
- Ha, ha.
- Hey, Joker. It's 3:00.
Batman's zero hour.
Watch for the green light.
Back. Everybody,
back of the bar.
We gotta have room to throw our Batarangs
when the crooks come in for the loot.
Ready with the coin, Robin?
Ready.
Zero hour.
- Put it in the slot.
- Roger.
Batman's funeral dirge
begins. I'll give him five seconds.
Now.
The jokes on you, my cheery
booze hounds. It's a stickup.
Hands up, you cowards.
Surprise, Batman.
- Quick, Robin, down behind the Batshield.
- Surprise and good night.
Holy hail storm. You knew
this was gonna happen.
Or something like it.
You see, Robin, you betrayed
yourself in that candy store.
- How?
- Despite your boast...
it was painfully evident
you're not a smoker.
Nick must have seen that you
were working with the police.
- Gee, Batman. I'm sorry.
- Don't be silly.
It's to your credit that
that charade failed.
The thing now is to save Susie.
- Save Susie?
- Work it out.
Why would an undercover
agent try to pump her?
- Because I knew she was one of the gang.
- Right.
And once they
know that we know...
that young lady's life
isn't worth a plug lollipop.
Holy murder. We
gotta find her quick.
- Where? Back at the store?
- School.
- On Saturday?
- She'll be in the gym practicing cheers.
Of course. Tonight there's a big game,
Woodrow Roosevelt against Disko Tech.
Let's hurry, Batman.
Bartender, a bit of advice.
Always inspect a jukebox carefully.
These machines can be deadly.
Hello. Yeah. Right. Yeah,
just a sec. He's right here.
Joker. Joker, it's for
you. It's Las Vegas...
- Pete The Swede.
- Ah!
Hello, Pete The Swede. What's
the line on the big game tonight?
The odds are 20-to-1? On
Woodrow Roosevelt High?
Oh, what a killing.
Take a whimsical wager.
Fifty thousand
dollars on Disko Tech.
Yes, Pete The Swede,
you heard me, Disko Tech.
Fifty times 20, 1 million bucks.
Oh, how delicious. Ha-ha-ha!
What? Bet against these champs?
The Clown Prince of Crime
must have slipped a cog.
But wait.
One...
Disko Tech, hey!
Disko Tech, hey!
Fight them, Woodrow Roosevelt
Beat them, Woodrow Roosevelt
Woodrow Roosevelt,
Woodrow Roosevelt
- Fight!
- Fight!
Fight!
Okay, kids. Let's
take a break, huh?
Gee, too bad that magic
milk machine is out of order.
Susie, stop. Give yourself up.
Your life is danger, Susie. The
Joker knows we're on to you.
He'll discard you without
mercy like an old shoe.
Have you guys
stripped your gears?
Quick, catch her.
So long, Dynamic Duo.
Poisoned.
Dead.
Are you sure?
Yeah, I saw them loading her on a
meat wagon from the city morgue.
The Boy Wonder was
bawling his head off.
Oh, well.
Well, it had to be
done, my Bad Pennies.
What's the death of
a greedy little dupe?
This life at best is one
long impractical joke.
Have a memorial cigar.
Why, thank you, Joker.
The brief shadow is lifted. I'm
my own humorous self again.
- What's the hour?
- 5:22.
Quick. Cameras. Disguises.
It's time for my greatest strike.
Okay...
One more.
Okay, fellas, let's knock
it off before we go stale.
Right you are, cap.
We'll quit while we still
got our razor-sharp edge.
We'll beat them by 50 points
tonight. We'll do it for Susie, right?
- Right.
- Come on.
The out of order sign's
gone off the milk machine.
Oh, boy. It must be fixed.
- Hey, who's got a dime?
- Oh, here, I got one.
- What the heck?
- This machine's been fixed all right.
Good gosh!
These are next week's nationwide
pre-college exam papers.
Complete with the
answers written in.
Dear me, how disillusioning.
The champs are cheats.
Caught red-handed with the answers
to the nationwide pre-college exams.
- The Joker.
- At the moment, merely an honest citizen.
We was passing by to inspect
this, uh, here school property...
which we support with our taxes.
- And imagine our surprise.
- Hey, we're not cheats.
Oh, it's a typical
filthy Joker's trick.
Well, it hardly matters,
boys, now, does it?
When the board of education sees this picture
with you holding the answer to those exams...
Good gosh, we'll be suspended.
We won't be allowed to
play Disko Tech tonight.
Ah! Well, ha-ha-ha! I'm sure
the scrubs will do their best.
The scrubs? They'll be creamed.
Oh, so sad, so sad. Tsk-tsk-tsk.
And after Batman's lectures
to you about honesty. Ah!
What on earth will the
Caped Crusader say?
Ball players. Run for cover.
Don't worry about having seen
those exam papers. They're a fake.
We planted them and the Joker's
picture doesn't mean a thing.
We saved Susie's life by using the universal
antidote pills in our utility belts.
She repaid us by revealing
the whole criminal scheme.
Okay, Batman. Let's
deliver the punch line.
- Tough luck, Bad Pennies.
- You're out of circulation.
They'll melt you down in a pan.
Holy New Year's Eve. He's got
me in his famous trick streamers.
Have a sneeze on me, Batman.
No use, Joker.
I knew you'd employ your sneezing
powder. So I took an anti-allergy pill.
Instead of a sneeze,
I've caught you cold.
That's what easy living gets
you, kids. Stick to your books.
And good luck
against Disko Tech.
Well, I guess it's
goodbye, Susie.
Goodbye, Dick.
I give you my word. I'll mail you all the
new cheers as soon as they're made up.
You can practice
them while you're away.
Gosh.
What's the matter?
You've all been so nice
to me. I can hardly bear it.
Heck, Susie, it
wasn't all your fault.
I mean, with your unhappy childhood
and a broken home and everything.
No wonder you fell for
that crook's phony promises.
It's time, Susie. The
chauffeur is waiting.
Gee, imagine being
taken to jail by a chauffeur.
The Wayne Foundation for
delinquent girls is hardly a jail.
Heck, no. There are teams
and clubs and everything.
I don't know what
to say to you both.
I just...
- Thanks, Dick.
- You're welcome, Susie.
I'll have nightmares
all my life, Mr. Wayne.
If it hadn't been for that power
failure, where would Robin be?
And where would Batman be?
- Where would Dick Grayson be?
- Huh?
Don't think about
it, young people.
Just be thankful that life is filled
with unanswered questions. That's all.
- Goodbye, Susie.
- Goodbye.
Next week, Batman
battles False Face.
seen a day at school...
a glass of milk.
Not milk, but money.
Holy cow juice.
It's easy living.
Sounds like the Joker.
Watch out, kids, the
Joker's back of this.
How true.
What's he up to?
An innocent jukebox?
Oh, yeah?
Plunder by remote control.
And in the Joker's workshop...
Cheerleader Susie...
a secret member of the gang?
But what's the Joker's plan?
And that night at school...
Watch out!
Ouch!
Knockout gas.
And inside this
van, a ghastly game.
Three lemons win 5 0,000 volts.
One lemon.
Two lemons.
- Hey, boss, look.
- What, what, what?
- The whole town, dark.
- Street lights, everything.
Oh, curses and criminy,
what confounded luck.
Gotham City is having a
power failure, just like New York.
The cops.
I don't like the twist this joke is taking.
Let us away. Cheese it, everyone.
Let's go. Let's go.
Strange, an abandoned truck.
Let's have a look inside.
Holy smoke.
Quick, cut us out of here
before the power comes on.
Or that's what we will
be, just holy smokes.
A mobile slot-machine
torture van.
Being in possession of such a
vehicle violates 17 separate statutes.
And not a shred of evidence
tying it to the devilish Joker.
No fingerprints,
stolen license plates.
You overlooked
this, Chief O'Hara.
A reel of tape?
Right, the tape from
our anti-crime recorder.
Before setting out, I equipped my utility
belt with a microphone and transmitter.
Every word those criminals said
was recorded in the Batmobile.
But what good will
that do, Boy Wonder?
I thought you told us they spoke to
you through a trick, uh, voice distorter.
Tricky, commissioner.
Tricky but vain.
They didn't realize that every human
voice has its own private wave pattern.
- Private as a fingerprint.
- Astounding.
Is it evidence? Can it be
used by the district attorney?
True. The court
won't accept it as yet.
However, I'll take this
tape to the Batcave...
run it through the anti-crime voice
analyzer, check it against the voice file.
We'll be able to learn the
identity of the Joker's henchmen.
We might be able to follow one
of them to the Joker's hideout.
Robin's right.
It's our only card.
Let's hope it's a trump.
I'm afraid the Joker may still
hold the winning hand, Batman.
Will the anti-crime voice
analyzer operate without power?
Fortunately, the Batcave is equipped
with an anti-crime auxiliary generator...
which automatically
compensates for any power failure.
Saints be praised.
And the Caped Crusader's
advanced technology.
To the Batcave.
Morning. Hallelujah.
The mighty power grid serving
Gotham City is back in action.
And in the Batcave, deep
below stately Wayne Manor...
Master scope circuit, A-okay.
- Let's check the beginning of the tape.
- Right.
That'll be Susie when
we ran into her in the hall.
- Wow, am I ever glad to see you two.
- Perfect.
- What'll I do? Jump the tape ahead?
- Roger.
Pick it up at 12.7.
That'll be when we were tied
inside that grisly torture van.
Twelve point
seven, here it goes.
Oh, what a ball.
- The same voice.
- I don't believe it. Susie?
Quick, both tapes. Let's
run them again, back to back.
Wow, am I ever
glad to see you two.
Oh, what a ball.
Holy Benedict Arnold.
Susie, our chief cheerleader, a
member of the Joker's criminal gang.
Is it possible, Batman?
Steady, Robin. Steady, old chum.
But how can it be?
It's an old story I'm afraid,
old as Eve and the apple.
That snake, the Joker must have
promised her some baubles, led her astray.
But what are we
gonna do, Batman?
It's bitter, but it's a break,
the first one we've had.
- We'll have to use it.
- You're right. Only how?
Let's see. Today is a
school holiday, isn't it?
Where is that cute little
trickster apt to be hanging out?
I know. The Easy
Living candy store.
It's on East 3rd, two
blocks from school.
Get set, Robin. Get
set for an ugly job.
- No, correction.
- What?
Not Robin, Dick. Dick
Grayson, undercover agent.
His job is to get
inside that gang.
Dog George to Batman,
do you read me?
- Do you read me, Batman?
- Loud and clear, over.
I'm about to go in. How's
that micro TV camera working?
- Push button for test pattern.
- Roger.
Batscope, A-okay, Dog George.
Rendezvous in Batcave at end of mission.
Good luck, over and out.
Good gravy. It's Dick Grayson,
president of the student council.
A goodnik like that
coming in here?
Hi, Sue baby.
How's tricks?
I must be seeing things. I thought
you spent all your spare time studying.
Ah, sure. I used to, maybe,
but, uh, who needs it anymore.
You're looking at a guy
who's seen the light, Sue baby.
- Who's the boyfriend?
- Oh, my friends call me Nick.
No kidding? What do
your enemies call you?
My enemies ain't in no
condition to call nobody nothing.
Heh, some joker, isn't he?
Uh...
You looking for
something, Dicky boy?
Heh, same as
everyone else, Sue baby.
Some way of making
an easy buck, that's all.
You, the ward of that rich
millionaire, Bruce Wayne?
What a skinflint. If I didn't swipe dimes from
the butler, I wouldn't have cigarette money.
Well, here. Have
one on me, buster.
- Oh, thanks, pal.
- Right.
I better pass this round. I
already had two packs today.
So how's the easy buck
setup? Got any leads?
You know, he might be able to help
us, Nick. He's a real super athlete.
- Oh, is that so?
- You ought to see him climb and stuff.
- Maybe I should introduce him to...
- Zip your lip, baby.
Introduce me to who, Susie?
- Hey, you want a tip, buster?
- Yeah.
Oh, there was a cocktail lounge stuck up
recently. These guys used a trick jukebox.
- Yeah. I heard about that, some cute caper.
- Yeah.
Well, here's my tip. You go down to
that same joint at exactly 3 p.m. today.
You might pick yourself
up some nickels and dimes.
- Thanks, pal.
- That's my tip.
- I'll see you around, huh?
- Oh, yeah. You'll see me around.
So long, Sue baby.
Gee, Nick. What's the idea?
Why, you gorgeous dumb hunk
of cheerleader, couldn't you see?
- That guy is strictly a phony.
- What do you mean?
Already had two packs today,
huh? My blind grandmother could see.
That guy never had a
weed in his hand in his life.
Good gravy.
How'd I do, Batman?
Good show, Robin.
Darn good show.
It's 20 minutes to 3.
We'd better hurry up if
we're gonna trap them.
Right you are. Let's go.
A trap indeed, but
who's the mouse?
For in the lurid lair of that
criminal cat, the Joker...
My favorite kind of joke,
one which ends with a bang.
- Ha-ha-ha.
- Right. And what about, uh, Susie?
Has she, uh, filled the
milk machine again?
She's just getting ready.
Uh, Susie, sweetie...
a special extra bonus...
a half-pint bottle of the most
exquisite imported Canadian perfume.
Wow, Canadian perfume.
It's called Un Nuit Sans
Fin, one endless night.
Gee, that's like poetry.
No, Susie, no.
Do not open until after you've loaded
the milk machine, do you understand?
Oh, sure, Joker,
anything you say.
You're just the best
boss any crook ever had.
Oh, thank you.
- Ha, ha.
- Hey, Joker. It's 3:00.
Batman's zero hour.
Watch for the green light.
Back. Everybody,
back of the bar.
We gotta have room to throw our Batarangs
when the crooks come in for the loot.
Ready with the coin, Robin?
Ready.
Zero hour.
- Put it in the slot.
- Roger.
Batman's funeral dirge
begins. I'll give him five seconds.
Now.
The jokes on you, my cheery
booze hounds. It's a stickup.
Hands up, you cowards.
Surprise, Batman.
- Quick, Robin, down behind the Batshield.
- Surprise and good night.
Holy hail storm. You knew
this was gonna happen.
Or something like it.
You see, Robin, you betrayed
yourself in that candy store.
- How?
- Despite your boast...
it was painfully evident
you're not a smoker.
Nick must have seen that you
were working with the police.
- Gee, Batman. I'm sorry.
- Don't be silly.
It's to your credit that
that charade failed.
The thing now is to save Susie.
- Save Susie?
- Work it out.
Why would an undercover
agent try to pump her?
- Because I knew she was one of the gang.
- Right.
And once they
know that we know...
that young lady's life
isn't worth a plug lollipop.
Holy murder. We
gotta find her quick.
- Where? Back at the store?
- School.
- On Saturday?
- She'll be in the gym practicing cheers.
Of course. Tonight there's a big game,
Woodrow Roosevelt against Disko Tech.
Let's hurry, Batman.
Bartender, a bit of advice.
Always inspect a jukebox carefully.
These machines can be deadly.
Hello. Yeah. Right. Yeah,
just a sec. He's right here.
Joker. Joker, it's for
you. It's Las Vegas...
- Pete The Swede.
- Ah!
Hello, Pete The Swede. What's
the line on the big game tonight?
The odds are 20-to-1? On
Woodrow Roosevelt High?
Oh, what a killing.
Take a whimsical wager.
Fifty thousand
dollars on Disko Tech.
Yes, Pete The Swede,
you heard me, Disko Tech.
Fifty times 20, 1 million bucks.
Oh, how delicious. Ha-ha-ha!
What? Bet against these champs?
The Clown Prince of Crime
must have slipped a cog.
But wait.
One...
Disko Tech, hey!
Disko Tech, hey!
Fight them, Woodrow Roosevelt
Beat them, Woodrow Roosevelt
Woodrow Roosevelt,
Woodrow Roosevelt
- Fight!
- Fight!
Fight!
Okay, kids. Let's
take a break, huh?
Gee, too bad that magic
milk machine is out of order.
Susie, stop. Give yourself up.
Your life is danger, Susie. The
Joker knows we're on to you.
He'll discard you without
mercy like an old shoe.
Have you guys
stripped your gears?
Quick, catch her.
So long, Dynamic Duo.
Poisoned.
Dead.
Are you sure?
Yeah, I saw them loading her on a
meat wagon from the city morgue.
The Boy Wonder was
bawling his head off.
Oh, well.
Well, it had to be
done, my Bad Pennies.
What's the death of
a greedy little dupe?
This life at best is one
long impractical joke.
Have a memorial cigar.
Why, thank you, Joker.
The brief shadow is lifted. I'm
my own humorous self again.
- What's the hour?
- 5:22.
Quick. Cameras. Disguises.
It's time for my greatest strike.
Okay...
One more.
Okay, fellas, let's knock
it off before we go stale.
Right you are, cap.
We'll quit while we still
got our razor-sharp edge.
We'll beat them by 50 points
tonight. We'll do it for Susie, right?
- Right.
- Come on.
The out of order sign's
gone off the milk machine.
Oh, boy. It must be fixed.
- Hey, who's got a dime?
- Oh, here, I got one.
- What the heck?
- This machine's been fixed all right.
Good gosh!
These are next week's nationwide
pre-college exam papers.
Complete with the
answers written in.
Dear me, how disillusioning.
The champs are cheats.
Caught red-handed with the answers
to the nationwide pre-college exams.
- The Joker.
- At the moment, merely an honest citizen.
We was passing by to inspect
this, uh, here school property...
which we support with our taxes.
- And imagine our surprise.
- Hey, we're not cheats.
Oh, it's a typical
filthy Joker's trick.
Well, it hardly matters,
boys, now, does it?
When the board of education sees this picture
with you holding the answer to those exams...
Good gosh, we'll be suspended.
We won't be allowed to
play Disko Tech tonight.
Ah! Well, ha-ha-ha! I'm sure
the scrubs will do their best.
The scrubs? They'll be creamed.
Oh, so sad, so sad. Tsk-tsk-tsk.
And after Batman's lectures
to you about honesty. Ah!
What on earth will the
Caped Crusader say?
Ball players. Run for cover.
Don't worry about having seen
those exam papers. They're a fake.
We planted them and the Joker's
picture doesn't mean a thing.
We saved Susie's life by using the universal
antidote pills in our utility belts.
She repaid us by revealing
the whole criminal scheme.
Okay, Batman. Let's
deliver the punch line.
- Tough luck, Bad Pennies.
- You're out of circulation.
They'll melt you down in a pan.
Holy New Year's Eve. He's got
me in his famous trick streamers.
Have a sneeze on me, Batman.
No use, Joker.
I knew you'd employ your sneezing
powder. So I took an anti-allergy pill.
Instead of a sneeze,
I've caught you cold.
That's what easy living gets
you, kids. Stick to your books.
And good luck
against Disko Tech.
Well, I guess it's
goodbye, Susie.
Goodbye, Dick.
I give you my word. I'll mail you all the
new cheers as soon as they're made up.
You can practice
them while you're away.
Gosh.
What's the matter?
You've all been so nice
to me. I can hardly bear it.
Heck, Susie, it
wasn't all your fault.
I mean, with your unhappy childhood
and a broken home and everything.
No wonder you fell for
that crook's phony promises.
It's time, Susie. The
chauffeur is waiting.
Gee, imagine being
taken to jail by a chauffeur.
The Wayne Foundation for
delinquent girls is hardly a jail.
Heck, no. There are teams
and clubs and everything.
I don't know what
to say to you both.
I just...
- Thanks, Dick.
- You're welcome, Susie.
I'll have nightmares
all my life, Mr. Wayne.
If it hadn't been for that power
failure, where would Robin be?
And where would Batman be?
- Where would Dick Grayson be?
- Huh?
Don't think about
it, young people.
Just be thankful that life is filled
with unanswered questions. That's all.
- Goodbye, Susie.
- Goodbye.
Next week, Batman
battles False Face.