Based on a True Story (2023–…): Season 1, Episode 7 - National Geographic - full transcript

- You gotta be kidding me.

"Removed from major platforms."

"Cancelled."

Fuck.

Oh. Hey.

- Hi.

- Uh, Ava's out with Tory.

- Oh, that's okay.
I'm here to see you.

- Come on in.

Is everything okay?

Can I get you
something to drink?



- I know about the podcast.

- About the podcast?
What podcast?

- You're "Based
on a True Story,"

and you made a deal with
the Westside Ripper.

- Um, well...
- Mm-mm.

I saw the texts.

- Look, we were cancelled.

Okay? We're
cancelled. It's over.

There's... there's
nothing to talk about.

- I know how to save it.

- You know how to
save the podcast?

- Can we sit?

- Uh, yeah. Sure.

Um...



have a seat.

- So here's what I'm thinking.

Your brand is
you're these rebels,

right, these rulebreakers?

So fuck the system.

Fuck Apple. You can
make your own platform.

There's no ads, no sponsors.

You just charge fans to join up.

- Like a subscription.
- Exactly like a subscription.

Ten bucks a month,
you'll be raking it in,

and, best of all,

you won't have to
answer to anybody.

- And what do you get?

- Uh, just a small,
little piece.

I stay quiet, we all make money.

Easy.
- What are you doing?

Don't... I don't
think you should...

- Just put me in, Coach.

Just put it in, Coach.

- Uh, you... you should leave.

- Okay. I'll leave.

- Oh, fuck.

Go.

Go. Go away.

Go away.
- What?

- Oh, nothing. The
dog's watching.

- What dog?

- Nothing. McEnroe.

Oh, God.

Get
outta here. Go.

Go.
Don't lick me.

- Why?
- No, I mean the dog.

- What are you doing?

- Uh, nothing.

- What are you doing?

- I know how to
save the podcast.

- So...

it's like Substack for podcasts?

Totally subscription-based?

- Exactly.

- I fucking love it.

Yeah. Yeah. It's
totally on-brand.

Fuck the woke police.
We don't need 'em.

- Don't need 'em.
- It's genius.

- Thank you. Thank you, Matt.

- Yeah.

- You just came up with
all of this in a dream?

- Crazy, right?

- Hey, Nate, you
wanna throw tonight?

- Oh, tonight.

Tonight, like, I... jeez.

Tonight. Do we have
a thing tonight?

- No. I mean, yes.

- Yeah. Yeah.
- You do?

Hey, hey, uh...

do you remember that
crazy Simon guy,

how he was gonna... what was he?

He was gonna blow your
fucking brains out

and I saved your ass?
- Yes.

Yes, and I really appreciate it.

I do. I just...

I can't throw
tonight. I'm sorry.

- Yeah. Okay.

Yeah, fine.

That's fine. That is fine.

It is.

Oh, guys, you know what?

If we're gonna do
this new model,

we should have, like,
a premium level.

You know, like, uh,
"Ripper Superfans."

You know? We give
them an early heads-up

on upcoming content.

I think they'd really love that.

- What?

- I just really miss
murdering people.

- Hmm?

- Look, it's who I
am. It's what I do.

- Oh, I wouldn't say that.
- But guys. Guys.

I've actually already
chosen someone.

- What?

- And, spoiler.

You're gonna love it.

- What does that mean?
- So I'm gonna do my thing,

we'll regroup, touch base...

- What do you mean, you're
gonna do your thing?

- See how you feel.
- No.

- Let's just call
a time-out here.

- Maybe we touch base now.

- I can't. I'm
busy. I'm sorry.

Okay.
- Can we...

- Matt?

- What are we gonna do?

He won't stop talking
about his "new content."

- He's gonna announce
it on the podcast.

So it takes weeks.
We got time.

- A-and Ruby? What are
we gonna do about her?

- We gotta cut her in.

We got no choice. We
"Godfather" it, okay?

We bring her in close,
keep an eye on her.

- No. You know what happens
when you bring Ruby in close?

Someone ends up with
a fantastic blow job,

and that someone
is not gonna be me.

- Okay. So what's your idea?

- We keep her the
fuck out, okay?

And if she comes at us, then
we'll deal with it then.

- Wouldn't have this problem
if you didn't drop the burner.

- Are you serious? Is
that what this is about?

The burner?

I wanted to get the
dog out of there,

and you knew it. I
told you five times.

- Okay. So this is my fault.

- I asked you to
take the dog out.

You kept saying no. So
whose fault is that?

I'm outta here.

- Hey.

Don't do this! Please, come on!

Oh.

Oh.

- Oh, my God.

Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God! Ahh!

- My eyes! Oh, my God!

I can't see!

- Get away! What
are you doing?

- My eyes!
- What is wrong with you?

- What is wrong with you?

Don't you have, like,
a job or something?

How do you have time to do that?

- Oh, my God.

- That was, like, something
out of "National Geographic."

- What are you
even doing in here?

This is a jerk-off zone.
Everyone knows that.

- Well, my jerk-off
zone is broken.

This house is falling apart.
- God.

- How did you even get
your hand down there?

- I'm pregnant.
I'm not paralyzed.

- Yeah, no, you're
definitely not paralyzed.

There's a lot of fast,
record-breaking action

going on down there.
- Okay, you know what?

I'm not gonna be
pregnant-shamed by you.

I'm normal. Everything
I did was normal.

- Oh, really?
- Yeah.

- Okay. What's the hot new
trends in pregnancy sex?

Please enlighten me.

- Oh, wow. A lot of
things, actually.

A lot of hot, sexy,
exciting things.

You wouldn't be
able to handle it.

- Well, I guess it is
like an instant threesome.

- You're disgusting!

- You were getting pretty
into it down there,

you and the fetus.

Who's the third party?
- Okay.

Yeah, I'm gonna
tell you. Sure.

- Wait, so it's, like...
Like, a secret fantasy?

So not the husband.

- Be quiet.
- Who's in the rotation?

- I'm not telling you.
- Tell me.

Tell me. Tell me. Tell me.
- Okay, whatever.

Whatever. Fine.

He's a... he's a buyer
that I'm working with.

I'm actually seeing
him later today again.

- You're seeing him again?
- I'm not seeing him.

I show him houses, okay?

So I've been seeing more of him.

But, no. It's nothing.

He just happens to be hot
and young and very rich

and, you know, whatever.

So when I enter
my jerk-off zone,

he pops into my head.

It's not a big deal.

- Can I give you some
really good advice?

- No.

- You keep meeting up with
this secret fantasy guy

in these big, sexy houses,

you're gonna end
up having sex...

Like, weird sex...

For real.

- Hey, what's up, Coach?

- Hey.
- How you doing?

- Finally fixing the crack.

- Yeah, man. The
pickleball guys complained.

I mean, they get shit done.

- Wait, what? The
pickleballers?

- Yeah.

- I've been trying to get
this crack fixed for weeks.

- They're pouring
cement tomorrow, man.

I mean, this whole fucking court

is gonna be
exclusively pickleball.

- This is court number
one. They can't do that.

- It's like tennis but smaller.

- Fucking pickleballers.

- Nathan.

Nathan.

- Michelle, court one can't
be used for pickleball.

- It doesn't matter. Listen.

Um, do you remember vouching
for your friend Matt?

You said he was good people.

- I never said that.
- Was that bro code

for he's a fucking asshole?

Because he's a douche. Yeah.

He ditched me for
no fucking reason,

and he kept telling me
that I was a "dead end."

- A dead end?
- Yeah.

One minute we're having a great
time watching "FBoy Island,"

and the next minute he had
this ice-cold look in his eyes

like a total psycho,

and then he said, "It's
over. You're a dead end,"

over and over again. What
the fuck does that mean?

- I have no idea.

He's going after Michelle.
She's the new content.

She's the fucking
one. What do we do?

Should we warn her? Call
me when you get this.

Okay.

- Help! Help!

- Shut the fuck up.

I will fucking kill you.

- What the fuck is this?

- This was part of
the deal, remember?

We still throw.

And, to be honest, Nate,

you look like you need
some time with a buddy.

You're still blue, right?

- No.

No fucking way.

First we need to talk
about this new content.

- First we're gonna throw.

See?

Fun, right?

You know, Nate,

I gotta tell ya,

when you guys first
came to me with this,

I thought one of us
would be dead in a week.

I mean...

Probably you
if I'm honest, right?

But I gotta say, this podcast...

It is the best thing
that ever happened to me.

I've got thousands
of fans reaching out,

and I can just be the real
me for the first time,

and that is all...

All thanks to you.

- I-I don't think
it's thanks to me.

- No, no, no. No, it is.

Totally.

Nate...

you have given me the
life I always wanted,

and so I wanna help you out.

Now, I know you're going
through some stuff...

- What the fuck are
you talking about?

- You wanna know
what I discovered

when I followed my passion?

Sacrifices... They
have to be made.

And I lost a few
people that I love.

And you...

I know you loved that dog.

- Don't talk about my dog.

- No, no, but you
can't blame yourself.

That's just the world
throwing shit at you,

and that's what it does when

you're on the top
of the mountain,

and that's where you are, buddy.

You're on the top, all right?

It's gonna test you,
it's gonna tempt you,

but you and Ava... You
just gotta stay tight.

- My marriage is none of
your fucking business.

Do you understand me?

- Yeah. I got it.

- I know about Michelle.

- What?

- You're gonna kill her.

- Okay, but look.

Really, it benefits all of us.

- Please.
- Hey.

- Please no.
- Listen to me.

It's gonna really help
with the spin-offs.

- No fucking spin-offs.
There's no new content.

- As a friend, you've
gotta listen to me, okay?

It's not your fault, all right?
- What are you talking about?

- Look, you didn't know
what that guy was gonna do.

- What guy?
- Okay, sure.

You put the dog in the room.

- There it is.

There it is.

There's the guy
that beat Federer.

You feel that?

That killer instinct?

It's back.

- All right, and here we
have your sauna, of course,

and this beautiful
cascading waterfall

into your private Jacuzzi,

and a gorgeous
ten-person shower.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

- Whew.

- Yeah.

Oh.

- Uh, it's a whole
lot of shower.

- Uh-huh.

- Okay, okay. I'm sorry.

We just... I gotta...

We gotta get this
out in the open.

We gotta talk. We
gotta talk right now,

because I can't take it anymore,

and I think we both know
what's going on here.

We are both clearly
very hot for each other,

and if we keep meeting in these
big, sexy, beautiful homes,

you and I are gonna end up
in one of these big showers,

tearing each
other's clothes off,

having amazing sex, and
coming, like, ten times.

And I can't do
that. I am married.

I love my husband, even though
that would be incredibly hot

and sexy and sweaty

and all the things
that you want it to be.

But it's not gonna happen.

And I'm sorry,
sir, but that is...

It's... that's just what it is.

Ugh!

Glad we got that
off our chests, huh?

- Uh, yeah.

I-I have no idea what
you're talking about at all.

- What?

- So I just thought
you'd be a good agent.

I don't... I don't need
to come... Ten times?

Was that it? I just
need a house. That's...

- You're fucking kidding, right?

- No.
- You haven't had the...

You haven't thought
the things that I'm...

That I thought? You haven't...

- Not even once.

- Oh.

- You're pretty, though.
- Oh, my fucking God.

- Hey.

- Sure I can't get you a drink?

- I'm good, thank you.

- So what's this about?

- I know Ava told you.

That I know about the podcast.

- I think you should
come back when Ava's here

and we can all talk about it.

- Yeah. Yeah, no,

I already tried
that at the party.

She wasn't interested.

- Well, then that's it.
If Ava's out, I'm out.

- Well, just hear me out.

You guys have put me in
a really bad spot here.

- We have?
- Yeah.

- We're the only three
people on the planet

who know who the Westside
Ripper is, right?

And the only reason that you
guys aren't going to the police

is because of the
podcast, but, see,

I don't have the podcast.

So I'm thinking I should
just turn this guy in,

otherwise I'm just
letting him kill

more innocent people, right?

- He's not killing anyone.

- Are you sure about that?

- Okay, Ruby, let's...
Let's... come on.

Let's work together on this.

What if... what if
we gave you, um...

50,000 per episode?

Do you think I came here
to ask you for money?

No, I don't need money.

I want a front-row seat
to the Westside Ripper

becoming the biggest celebrity
on this fucking planet.

- That's what you want?

- I mean,

isn't that why you did it?

- Ava's gonna be
back any minute.

- Nate, do you remember
what you told me in Vegas

on the dance floor?

I would love it if the three
of us could do this together.

And I was thinking that...

Maybe you could talk
to Ava about it?

Wouldn't that be fun?

- Hey.
- Oh, my God.

Hi. I got your message.

- It's all good.
Michelle's safe.

I talked to Matt.

- Oh, okay. What happened?

- Close your eyes.
- Why?

- I'm gonna... Hey, I'm
gonna blindfold you.

- You're not putting that on me.

- Well, I gotta... I'm gonna...
- No.

- Okay, I gotta put
it on in the car.

I gotta...
- I'm not putting that on.

- I... just trust me.

I got a surprise for you.
- I don't think so.

- Just... just trust me.
Just put it on in the car.

- All right. Can't see.
- We're almost there.

- You know I'm pregnant, right?
- I got you.

- All right. But where are we?

- Okay.

- All right. Come on.

Where are we?
- Okay.

- Happy anniversary.

- What?
- Our Malibu dream house.

I've been tracking
it for a while.

I just pulled the trigger.

It's a lease with
an option to buy

in case you don't love it.

- Well, I... of
course I love it,

but I think we... can we
talk about this for a second?

- Look at this view.
Look at this killer view.

Gonna swim with the
dolphins out here.

Look at this spot.
- Yeah.

- It's amazing, right?
- Yeah.

I...

- Gonna have the best
summer of our lives here.

Do you like it?

- This is beautiful,
babe, but, like,

what... what are...
What are we doing?

- What do you mean
what are we doing?

We're... it's our dream house.

That's what we're doing.

- We have been
struggling big time.

I think you know that, right?

And a marriage can only stretch
so far before it breaks,

and I don't want us to break.

- Don't worry. We're
not gonna break.

No one's breaking here.

- I think this whole
fucking situation

has put way more pressure on us

than we actually thought
it would, so I...

- Yes. Yeah.

The world is coming at
us. That's what it does.

It tests you. It tempts you.

- What does that mean?

- It means that we
gotta stay tight.

That's why I got
us the house. Oh.

- Okay. Babe, it's
not about the house.

The house is amazing, but
it's not about the house.

It's about us. I
want us to be happy.

We haven't been
connecting at all.

We were fighting about
everything... the burner,

Ruby, the dog... Doesn't
that bother you at all?

- What bothers me is that I
just made our dreams come true

and, for whatever reason,

you wanna focus on
busting my balls.

That's what's bothering me.
- Oh, my...

Why do you have to do this?
- It's never enough.

- That's not true.
- It is true.

It's been true for 12 years.

- Don't "12 years" me!

- Yeah, you're so
busy comparing us

to all your rich friends...
The house is too small.

The yard's too
small. The car sucks.

- Is that the kind of
person you think I am?

You think I am that shallow?

- Does it really matter I
didn't make the top ten?

- Oh, my God.

- I'm sorry I didn't
make Federer money.

Does it really matter?
I'm still the same person.

Let me ask you...
I'm just curious.

Where's the cutoff to
stop loving somebody?

Is it a top ten? The
top 20? What is it?

- I have never cared
about the money.

I care that you gave up!

- I gave up on tennis?

Are you serious?

I tore my fucking ACL!

- You gave up on life!

You gave up on us!

- Where are you going?

You're leaving?
- Yep.

Doesn't feel good, does it?

- Come on. Don't
do that. Please.

- Oh, my Go... ahh!

Oh!

kids: Nice shot, Dad.