Bang Baaja Baaraat (2015–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Episode #1.1 - full transcript
Pawan and Shahana have planned a romantic destination wedding for themselves and have invited their parents for blessings. When the two families meet each other for the first time, sparks fly.. in all the wrong directions! Will their dream wedding get f#@ked up?
ENJOY!!!! Do not
miss this tomorrow!
'Sanskrit chants.'
The bride and groom please stand
up for the nuptial rounds.
The bride and groom please stand
up for the nuptial rounds.
'Sanskrit chants.'
Fuck you. - Fuck you.
Punnu.
Did he go to the loo?
d Bang Baaja Baaraat d
Season 01 Episode 01 Ori
Promise me...
You will always brush your
teeth before sleeping.
Promise me...
you will always be
honest with me.
You will never ask
how the tea is.
Promise me...
Promise me... you will stop
snoring in your sleep.
I don't do that.
Do I?
Sometimes.
Fine... you can eat
the way you want.
But promise me...
we're going to have a great
time at our wedding.
Promise.
Our parents are going to meet each
other for the first time today.
We'll be meeting them
for the first time too.
We have to be on the same page.
Yes!
It's us against them.
Mom.
Hello... mom!
You've arrived.
I'm almost there,
get yourself coolie
See... I'm waving to you
from platform no. 8.
Hello, aunty.
Hello, uncle. - Bless you.
Hello. - Bless you, dear.
Hello, aunty.
Let me introduce everyone.
This is my father, Mr. Ranjeet.
Hello. - Hello.
This is my mother, Mrs. Sushmita.
- Hello.
And this is Pawan's father,
Mr. Murli Prasad. - Hello.
And Pawan's mother, Roli.
Aunty, is Roli your petname
or is there something more.
You see, dear... we...
I can't do this. - Listen...
I told you we shouldn't go.
I had no intentions of coming
here, but you didn't listen.
I only came here...
to give her our
ancestral jewellery.
Son, get some water.
Get some water for your mother.
I just came to give you these bangles.
- Have water.
You see she's tired, it was a long journey.
- Here have water.
It's cow-pee... for
the veneration.
Curses... disgusting!
Sorry... Sorry.
Sir, I think it's gone.
Not gone, Go.
This is not the way.
You don't invite your parents for
your wedding like the other guests.
We're not your enemies.
All the relatives
have been asking.
"Where did you fix
his marriage?"
I said I don't know.
We've been invited to the
wedding like guests.
What could we have done?
I know you two are independent.
You know what's right
or wrong for you.
But there are few things which
the elders should handle.
There are thousands
of things to be done.
First match the horoscope.
Hold on. Hold on.
Mom. Uncle.
There's no...
then we would've
gotten married by now.
Long back.
Pawan wanted... - We both do.
Yes, we both want... to involve
our parents in our wedding.
Just so that you can know your
future daughter-in-law...
and future son-in-law better,
we've devised a plan.
So where did you guys meet?
We met at a common
friend's place.
Well... we met at a
photo exhibition.
Oh...
Pawan.
Pawan?
Hi.
Shall we?
Like... you don't want to...
talk or something?
Talk? - Yeah.
Why talk?
We can...
That was that.
I mean you don't want
to talk, so that's out.
I just broke up
with my boyfriend.
Oh?
Oh!
So this was...
You are a... cook!
Uncle, I am a gourmet chef.
Dear, can you cook?
Cook?
- You think he lets her cook.
He's the cook here himself.
The tea will get cold, drink.
How much you make? - Ranjeet.
Aunty, it's okay. Uncle's
question is justified.
4, 5, 600,000.
Monthly? - Annually, son.
Annually, I think
around 45-50 lakhs
I'm part owner of
the restaurant.
I am running it along
with my friend.
He invested... - Have a cookie!
Son, if you two go
out and work...
then who will look
after the house?
Take care of the house?
I see.
What?
Oh... the hotel people made
this one, didn't they?
But it's still nice.
Hi!
Sushi, looking as sexy as ever.
How are you?
They are enjoying.
You must be Pawan's dad.
You look so pretty. - So cute.
You want to join us at the pool?
Let's go... Let's go.
Pool party, guys. Come on.
Come on.
Punnu, listen.
2 bogies filled with guests are coming
from Kanpur on the Kushinagar Express.
So... treat them well.
2 bogies?
You said we don't have
to invite any guests!
But they have an entire
battalion coming...
Mother, I said it's just us.
2 bogies.
It is just us, son. We
have to invite the family.
Or else they will feel offended.
No drinks.
No drinks allow.
This is a Brahmin wedding.
No drinks allowed.
We Punjabis can't have a wedding
without kebabs and alcohol.
Forget the guests,
I'll feel offended.
See... now he'll be mingling with the
alcohol and non-veg eating crowd...
Look, Roliji, we cannot do
everything according to you.
We didn't come here to sit idle.
Look, dear. If you
want we'll leave.
Dad, one second.
Pawan, do...
- One minute, Shahana.
There's a bigger thing.
Mother, you're just...
I am sorry. - What?
Look, this was bound to happen.
This is a failed exercise.
I don't think you two
should get married.
You're right. You're
absolutely right.
You two love each other, right?
So why do you want our approval?
Right?
Just move in together.
And live happily.
For as long as you can.
You don't need us.
Our own marriage
broke-up in four years.
You two got divorced? - Yes.
He even has a second
wife and kids.
Punnu!
Whatever you say...
they do get along.
They're fighting just
like husband and wife.
I am not trying to hide
anything, Shahana.
And not everything together.
Pawan, how can you hide such an
important thing from your parents?
My mother is going crazy...
regarding this marriage...
regarding the preparations.
I didn't want to tell her
everything together.
I just thought I'll tell
her everything gradually.
This is not done, Pawan.
Do you know how embarrassing
it is for me, for my parents?
I am not doing it
intentionally, Shahana.
I understand.
- You don't understand, Pawan.
We're not on the same page.
Stop fighting you guys.
Parents are fucked up people.
Come on. It's party time. Shahana
are you ready, let's go.
Oh, God!
He threw daughter-in-law
in the water.
I don't understand anything.
I am going to take a bath.
Punnu, is there a bathroom
where we can freshen up.
Or do we need to take a
dip in this pond too?
Daddyji!
Today evening we're having a bikini
themed bachelorette. - Oh my, God.
Cheers bitches... meaning dogs.
ENJOY!!!! Do not
miss this tomorrow!
miss this tomorrow!
'Sanskrit chants.'
The bride and groom please stand
up for the nuptial rounds.
The bride and groom please stand
up for the nuptial rounds.
'Sanskrit chants.'
Fuck you. - Fuck you.
Punnu.
Did he go to the loo?
d Bang Baaja Baaraat d
Season 01 Episode 01 Ori
Promise me...
You will always brush your
teeth before sleeping.
Promise me...
you will always be
honest with me.
You will never ask
how the tea is.
Promise me...
Promise me... you will stop
snoring in your sleep.
I don't do that.
Do I?
Sometimes.
Fine... you can eat
the way you want.
But promise me...
we're going to have a great
time at our wedding.
Promise.
Our parents are going to meet each
other for the first time today.
We'll be meeting them
for the first time too.
We have to be on the same page.
Yes!
It's us against them.
Mom.
Hello... mom!
You've arrived.
I'm almost there,
get yourself coolie
See... I'm waving to you
from platform no. 8.
Hello, aunty.
Hello, uncle. - Bless you.
Hello. - Bless you, dear.
Hello, aunty.
Let me introduce everyone.
This is my father, Mr. Ranjeet.
Hello. - Hello.
This is my mother, Mrs. Sushmita.
- Hello.
And this is Pawan's father,
Mr. Murli Prasad. - Hello.
And Pawan's mother, Roli.
Aunty, is Roli your petname
or is there something more.
You see, dear... we...
I can't do this. - Listen...
I told you we shouldn't go.
I had no intentions of coming
here, but you didn't listen.
I only came here...
to give her our
ancestral jewellery.
Son, get some water.
Get some water for your mother.
I just came to give you these bangles.
- Have water.
You see she's tired, it was a long journey.
- Here have water.
It's cow-pee... for
the veneration.
Curses... disgusting!
Sorry... Sorry.
Sir, I think it's gone.
Not gone, Go.
This is not the way.
You don't invite your parents for
your wedding like the other guests.
We're not your enemies.
All the relatives
have been asking.
"Where did you fix
his marriage?"
I said I don't know.
We've been invited to the
wedding like guests.
What could we have done?
I know you two are independent.
You know what's right
or wrong for you.
But there are few things which
the elders should handle.
There are thousands
of things to be done.
First match the horoscope.
Hold on. Hold on.
Mom. Uncle.
There's no...
then we would've
gotten married by now.
Long back.
Pawan wanted... - We both do.
Yes, we both want... to involve
our parents in our wedding.
Just so that you can know your
future daughter-in-law...
and future son-in-law better,
we've devised a plan.
So where did you guys meet?
We met at a common
friend's place.
Well... we met at a
photo exhibition.
Oh...
Pawan.
Pawan?
Hi.
Shall we?
Like... you don't want to...
talk or something?
Talk? - Yeah.
Why talk?
We can...
That was that.
I mean you don't want
to talk, so that's out.
I just broke up
with my boyfriend.
Oh?
Oh!
So this was...
You are a... cook!
Uncle, I am a gourmet chef.
Dear, can you cook?
Cook?
- You think he lets her cook.
He's the cook here himself.
The tea will get cold, drink.
How much you make? - Ranjeet.
Aunty, it's okay. Uncle's
question is justified.
4, 5, 600,000.
Monthly? - Annually, son.
Annually, I think
around 45-50 lakhs
I'm part owner of
the restaurant.
I am running it along
with my friend.
He invested... - Have a cookie!
Son, if you two go
out and work...
then who will look
after the house?
Take care of the house?
I see.
What?
Oh... the hotel people made
this one, didn't they?
But it's still nice.
Hi!
Sushi, looking as sexy as ever.
How are you?
They are enjoying.
You must be Pawan's dad.
You look so pretty. - So cute.
You want to join us at the pool?
Let's go... Let's go.
Pool party, guys. Come on.
Come on.
Punnu, listen.
2 bogies filled with guests are coming
from Kanpur on the Kushinagar Express.
So... treat them well.
2 bogies?
You said we don't have
to invite any guests!
But they have an entire
battalion coming...
Mother, I said it's just us.
2 bogies.
It is just us, son. We
have to invite the family.
Or else they will feel offended.
No drinks.
No drinks allow.
This is a Brahmin wedding.
No drinks allowed.
We Punjabis can't have a wedding
without kebabs and alcohol.
Forget the guests,
I'll feel offended.
See... now he'll be mingling with the
alcohol and non-veg eating crowd...
Look, Roliji, we cannot do
everything according to you.
We didn't come here to sit idle.
Look, dear. If you
want we'll leave.
Dad, one second.
Pawan, do...
- One minute, Shahana.
There's a bigger thing.
Mother, you're just...
I am sorry. - What?
Look, this was bound to happen.
This is a failed exercise.
I don't think you two
should get married.
You're right. You're
absolutely right.
You two love each other, right?
So why do you want our approval?
Right?
Just move in together.
And live happily.
For as long as you can.
You don't need us.
Our own marriage
broke-up in four years.
You two got divorced? - Yes.
He even has a second
wife and kids.
Punnu!
Whatever you say...
they do get along.
They're fighting just
like husband and wife.
I am not trying to hide
anything, Shahana.
And not everything together.
Pawan, how can you hide such an
important thing from your parents?
My mother is going crazy...
regarding this marriage...
regarding the preparations.
I didn't want to tell her
everything together.
I just thought I'll tell
her everything gradually.
This is not done, Pawan.
Do you know how embarrassing
it is for me, for my parents?
I am not doing it
intentionally, Shahana.
I understand.
- You don't understand, Pawan.
We're not on the same page.
Stop fighting you guys.
Parents are fucked up people.
Come on. It's party time. Shahana
are you ready, let's go.
Oh, God!
He threw daughter-in-law
in the water.
I don't understand anything.
I am going to take a bath.
Punnu, is there a bathroom
where we can freshen up.
Or do we need to take a
dip in this pond too?
Daddyji!
Today evening we're having a bikini
themed bachelorette. - Oh my, God.
Cheers bitches... meaning dogs.
ENJOY!!!! Do not
miss this tomorrow!