Balls Deep (2016–…): Season 2, Episode 7 - Valley Goths - full transcript

Here is my crystal ball.

And now since
we're on the beach,

what I usually like to do...

is cleanse the stones.
- Oh, in the water?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Magic should be
my last resort of anything.

If I'm going on an
existential crisis in my life,

then I will use it.

But otherwise, like,
I'll just try to let --

Aah!

Oh, shit.
- You all right?



- Yeah.
- Stones cleansed.

Everything I know
about the Goth world,

I learned from being in it,
as a teenager,

and "The Everything
You Need to Know

About The Goth Scene" books

from "The Everything
You Need to Know About"

library series.

However, that was
many years ago.

And the interceding period.
Goth has grown and hybridized

with various other subcultures

into perhaps
a new animal unto itself.

Or maybe just the same refuge
for nerds and weirdos,

but slightly different dressed.

To find out what
Goths have been up to



since I was one myself,

I've come to the epicenter
of Gothdom -- suburbia.

Specifically, a suburb
in L.A. -- the Valley.

I brought you guys
some venom -- Venom Energy.

Oh, okay.
Well, let me --

Spider shit, so I figured...

Oh, thank you.
Babe.

You don't have to go
to Starbucks no more.

Okay.
We have these moments

where whenever we see something
that's super Goth,

like, "Hey, look, we gotta
get it." And I get it.

Well, does it bum you out,
like, that so many brands

have co-opted Goth culture
and now it's just like...

No, actually, to me, it's great.

There's more options for us.
- Okay.

So this was me.

This was in fifth grade.

And I was really into, like,

"Nightmare
Before Christmas."

This was when I was
already starting to be,

like, weird and stuff.

Oh, yeah.

I think the biggest
problem is always

when your mom first sees you

all dressed up and it's like,

"One day they woke me up
with an exorcism."

Huh.

- No, I heard my --
- Oh, they did that to me, too.

- Oh, my God.
- Oh, yeah.

- Really?
- Yeah, 'cause that --

That definitely
did not happen to me.

- No, I woke up and like...
- I think that might be, like,

a Catholic/Latino thing.

I will never forget this.
She said,

"Why do you wear black?"
And I was like,

"Oh, because I think black
is beautiful and I love it."

She said, "Well, God told me
that that's bad.

You know that's bad, right?

Because
that's the devil."

You think the devil wouldn't
wear such obvious clothes.

I think a lot of kids
just look at it and it's like,

"Oh, this is cool.
I want to do this."

But they don't understand.
It's like...

Some people,
it's not that it's just cool.

I mean, it is cool, but, like,

it's deeper than that,
you get me?

Daniel's artistic endeavors

seem to run the usual
Goth gamut adventures from...

- It's very Goth.
- Yeah.

...weird drawings
to attempts at music.

Unfortunately I don't have
coffin case for this one.

I'm sure it's actually
still in tune.

Mm.

Vanessa's primary
creative outlet seems

to be her fashion tutorials
on YouTube.

...business, bitches.

I got, like, my first dislike,

'cause that means, like,
people are watching us more.

- That's the scary part.
- Yeah.

It's scary to be, like, "Okay,
now everyone can see me.

Now the whole world
knows I'm here."

This stuff? Yes.

Oh, you have to --
It's one of those kinds of door.

Yes.

So we're going to start filming.

Yeah.
Do you need help with...

Um... okay.

- I like your bats.
- Oh, thank you.

How'd you start with
the makeup tutorials?

You know, I always
was involved into makeup.

I always liked it, but there
was this point in my life

that I felt like I wasn't
doing anything

or contributing to society,

especially my creativity,

so I just pretty much
want to make a show

where people can come to

and be into the Goth subculture.

- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.

Okay, help out
the next generation.

- Yeah. Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.

It's nice how there's,
like, actual --

You can actually go find stuff.

Remember you had to
really shop to find things.

It was before Hot Topic
hit the suburbs

or anything like that.

Yeah, I remember
how it would be,

like, a big distro
catalogues for bands.

They'd just be like,
"Joy Division shirt."

They'd never have
pictures of them either.

And they would -- It would
always be large and extra large.

Then you'll just be like,
"I guess I'll try a large.

See what shows up."

Oh, man.

Okay, so I like to film
me doing my makeup first

and then doing
the intro and outro.

- Okay.
- Mm-hmm.

That's how I like to do things.

There we go.
Just a little bit lower.

There you go.

A little bit higher.
Okay. In between.

There.
Good.

It's like wearing
kind of a mask.

Oh, yeah.
I believe makeup

was a freedom of expression.
- Mm-hmm.

It brought me
a lot of confidence.

What did your mom
think of the eyebrows?

- Oh, they hate it.
- Yeah.

Oh, they hate it.

But they don't care anymore,

but I haven't had eyebrows
since I was 16.

And now it's just like
with a regular pencil

and I can just draw them on.
I don't know.

Do you guys think
it looks the same?

Uh, there's a little
higher arch on your --

- On this one -- On this one.
- That one.

- Right?
- Yeah.

It's not terribly off, but...

What about now?

Uh, it's still
a little bit high.

Like a lot closer, yeah.

Now?
Or did I mess up?

- No.
- It's fine.

You can just tell me.

It's a smidgen higher,
but I can't tell

if that's like...

As long as they look
like sisters, not, uh -- twins.

Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Did you go to high school
near here?

Yeah.
I didn't like it.

A lot of people
would bully me a lot,

and I was just very, like,

anti-social and to myself
in high school.

- Yeah.
- And people started calling me,

like, "Sharpy Eyebrows"
and things like that.

But it was more funny
than anything.

- Okay, yeah.
- Mm-hmm.

So I think I'm pretty much done.

With the -- So I should
start with my intro?

- Looks good. Yeah, do it.
- Hi, everyone.

This is Victoria Fashion.
Welcome back to my channel.

So this video, I'm going
to be doing a chola Goth look.

Keep watching more, uh --
Please keep on watching more.

Now let's go do
the fucking makeup tutorial.

And then...

And then end.
- Sounded good.

Okay.
Thank you.

It is another scorching day
out at North Hollywood.

Daniel and Vanessa
are spending the day indoors

avoiding the life-giving
nourishment of our sun.

I would not think of
a Southern California suburbs

as an easy place to be Goth,

but, um, it's in close
approximately to L.A.,

which was an epicenter

of the death-rock scene
in the '80s.

A lot of bands, like, 45 Grave
and Christian Death, obviously.

The Rozz Williams
Christian Death,

not the **** later
version with Valor.

Could also do something,
you know,

sort of natural
kind of environment

for such an ornate and weirdly,

you know, aesthetic
kind of mindset

and anaesthetic as Gothdom,

but you can't pick
where you're born.

There's also something
about the, you know,

the decaying sprawl
that's kind of regulent

with a sense of, like,
American isolation,

which really befits
sort of the mindset

that made you to dress up,

and, you know,
corsets and top hats

despite that crushing boredom

that's just duplicated
on every block out here.

Jesus, listen to me.
Two days.

I'm already back to my old...

my old diction.

Hola.

Eh.
Es bueno.

Es, uh...

Uh, um...
How do you say "kitchen"?

They're inside.

'Sup? Yeah.
Hey, Art, how you doing?

- Hey, what's up, Thomas?
- How you doing, man?

- Good, how are you?
- Good.

It is a very full house here.

Vanessa lives with her mom
and dad and grandpa.

One sister, two brothers,
one being a brother-in-law --

that was Art who just left --

and a group of dogs who's
number I haven't quite placed.

There's more than 3
of them, though, I'm sure.

Maybe a little window into,

you know, her own quest
for semi-individuality

via the Goth subculture,
you know.

Compelling her to stand out.

Tables, right?

- Whatever you got.
- Yeah.

Where's the other side?

Gracias, papa.

Yeah.

What is it, is it pork or beef?

Her family rolls deep.

- Yeah.
- They travel in big-ass packs.

My family isn't very big.
I'm not used to big families.

When I moved in with her, like,

getting used to her family,
it was different.

Is there normally a Goth table
at your family functions?

- A Goth table?
- Yeah.

No.

Pretty much this spell
is more for, like,

having more of my life
where I want it to go.

Where are you going to do it?
Are you going to do it in the...

- I'm just going to do it here.
- Okay.

Mm-hmm. This is part of,
like, a mixture of...

Mm-hmm.

Do you watch it
the whole time or...?

Some - I always check up on it.

If the candle wick

starts, like,
um, moving out of nowhere,

like, going really fast

and there's something wrong

or it's catching negativity.

Would you like to
do a card reading?

Yeah. You want to do it
in here or...?

Yeah, we can do it here.

What I want you
to do is shuffle.

Shuffle the card
to how I was doing it.

- Mm-hmm.
- And visualize your question.

Think about your question,
and then you're going

to spread the cards by three.

Which stack do you
feel the most...

This one came out
and held in my hand, so...

Okay.

Studious and mischievous.

I think it's talking
about certain projects.

All the projects
you've been wanting to do.

Your vision and everything
is starting to revive.

And it's finally happening.

I think this is all, like,
your emotions right now,

and this is gonna
be the outcome.

- A windfall of money.
- Mm-hmm.

I like that.

I see a female here.

Yeah, there's some form
of attachment with you

and this person.
- Uh-huh.

By any chance are you
in a relationship?

- Uh, no.
- No?

- Ish.
- Kind of?

- Yeah.
- Okay. Um...

- Why?
- Because I see right here

that there's someone here,

like a female
that you care about,

but somehow I think her sort of,

like, your lifestyle,
it kind of bothers her a lot

that you're not always around.

Okay, yeah.
Well, that's the truth.

- Okay, guys.
- Okay, there you are.

How's the editing coming?

Um, as much as I like

the makeup tutorials,
whenever she says,

like, "I want to do a makeup
tutorial," I'm like, "Fuck."

It's just the editing
that gets to me,

because look how long it is.

It's 1 hour and 21?
So then...

It's longer because we --

I did foundation
and concealed my face.

- It's a full-on tutorial.
- Yeah, it's a full-on.

Yeah.
- What's in the notebook?

Or whose notebook?
- This is my planner.

- For the YouTube stuff?
- Yeah.

Yeah, and these are all
where I write my ideas,

like, for future series.

- Alt Disney characters.
- I'm thinking of doing, like...

That's why I'm glad...

Punk Belle, and, like,
a pastel Cinderella,

'cause that's -- light blue
is a very pastel color.

There's two new
trends right now.

New Goth and pastel Goth.
- Okay.

This is new Goth
and it's very witchy.

- It's like a...
- Yeah, and then pastel Goth.

It could be cute and colorful
but still be creepy.

Lot of girls have been

very into the
Wednesday Addams look.

- Mm-hmm.
- I think it's just an easier --

I'm more into Morticia.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

What do you hope this is
going to lead to, like...

- All this?
- Yeah.

So, the YouTube channel,

all this we're creating
is basically

to reinforce her brand,

just to get her brand stronger.

Like maybe one day...
- Product.

Yeah, like, maybe one day

you have a Victoria Fashion bag.

- No.
- It's like a...

Lately I've been getting
into pumpkins, so...

Okay.
You guys ever worry with, like,

the dreaded realm of,
like, selling out?

It's just a stupid
term people toss around.

Like people that say "sell outs"
are usually people

who don't understand
what a real sell out is.

How are you selling out
if you're doing what you want?

- Yeah.
- Hi, everyone.

This is Victoria Fashion.
Welcome back to my channel.

So, this is...

You want to see?

I feel like every time

I'm with a woman
in Southern California,

I ends up in a stone shop.
- In a what?

- In a crystal shop.
- Oh, really?

- Yeah.
- This is pretty much

my local crystal Wiccan store.

This is really cool, yeah.

Whenever I choose a stone,

it either feels heavy

or it just feels like,
"Okay, get this one."

Something's different.
It calls out to you.

The main stone that I feel
the most in tune with

is clear quartz.

Mm-hmm.

How'd you grow up?
Did you grow up Catholic?

Yeah, I grew up Catholic.

I used to go to church
every Sunday with my dad.

And my mother's Christian,

so there was always
a somewhat of a clash.

- Yeah.
- But for some reason,

being Christian
or being Catholic,

I never felt right at all.

Right.

What do you identify with now?

More like Pagan,
and I follow more --

I still do witchcraft at times.

I mainly follow more

of the feminine aspect of Wicca.

Uh-huh.

You don't have any anks, do you?

Ank.

Um, I think that's it.

- All right.
- All right.

- Thank you so much.
- You're welcome.

- All right. Bye.
- Enjoy your day.

- Have a good one.
- Bye.

Thank you.

Every time I go up
to the beach...

Yeah.
...I go and I just have, like,

a quick prayer
and look at the moon

and just tell the goddess,

like, you know,
"Thank you."

I always ask the universe,

especially to the goddess,

"Show me.
Show me the way."

So first, I like to do --
I like to just smudge myself.

I visualize that
when I breathe in

and while I'm smudging myself,

I breathe in light,

and then whenever I breathe out,

I take away all the darkness,
all the negativity.

Okay.
- Okay.

He won't do it.

- I'll do it.
- No.

You want to do it?

He's -- He's, like --
He's Atheist, that's why.

- Ah.
- But I still, like,

respect her, like, traditions.

Yeah.

Okay, now my turn.

One went off.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I don't think it's going
to work like that then.

Mm.

Beach is nice.

Mm-hmm.

I'm starting to get kind of

a shut-in feeling
from being in the house.

The only times we've left
are to do are kind of, like,

very specific errands
or adventures in town.

Otherwise it's just been here.

The indoor nature
of Gothic kingdom

is ironically a breeding ground
for the exact kind of boredom

that the whole Gothic lifestyle
is supposed to help evade.

They do go clubbing,
so hopefully --

so hopefully tonight
we can hit the town.

Where is it?

- Oh, it's right here.
- Okay.

That's one of the problems
of owning so many

black things...
- Yeah.

- ...that we lose things.
- All the time.

I couldn't find things...

- Yeah.
- Yeah, it's fun at first,

then you realize,
"I can't find shit."

- It's just all looks the same.
- It looks the same.

That's the downside
of Gothin' out.

- Do you have a comb?
- Yeah.

A comb or a brush?

A comb.
I'm just going to tease it up.

Where do you put the combs,
'cause your stuff...

- I...
- Oh, I see one.

Oh, wait, here's my Belle one.

- Can I use this? That okay?
- Yeah, go for it.

I'm lice free.

It's funny, all the primping.

Nah, this isn't happening.

My hair's too short
right now to get the full tease.

I'm going to try to do like
a Anna Mccalla thing

just in the back.

I don't know what the fuck
I'm doing now.

When I was in high school,
there really wasn't, like --

There was the Internet,
but it wasn't as full of,

like, easy to access information

about, like, hair-care stuff.

I'm just pulling out hairs.
Sorry.

There was all kinds
of stuff back in the day.

We try to figure this shit out.

This is always my problem
with wavy hair.

There's just nothing you
can fucking do with it.

- Well, I had that problem.
- Can't grow it,

can't grow it long,
can't keep it short.

Just looks like it looks.

I miss sort of like
the high-barrier entry

there used to be.

- Yeah, that is also true.
- Right.

And now, like,
you just YouTube it.

You have someone pop out.
She'll pop out.

Wow.
This takes me back.

Yeah, right?

Um, how did I do that?

You hold it down
to do the top, right?

Okay.

You can use a hair --
the hairs down or...

So that --

I haven't put on eyeliner
in probably 15 years.

But it's like riding a bicycle.

It came right back.

Used to --
I was really big into,

like, Robert Smith
when I was in, like, 9th grade.

So I'd take, like,
blue eye shadow.

Usually not even
blue eye shadow,

but something blue
just in general.

Smear it on my face.

I looked like a fucking clown.

There you go.

I'm really -- Yeah.

I'm in Depeche Mode territory,
aren't I?

No, that's good.

Almost Flock of
Seagulls territory.

Yikes.

Nothing wrong
with the classic look.

Here's the real question --
Can I wear my glasses or not?

Yeah.

It's there.

Hi.
Oh, tell me when to go, babe.

Go ahead.

Hi, everyone!
Guess where I'm at?

I'm in the Son
of Monsterpalooza.

I am so excited,

because the actor who plays
Nosferatu is going to be there.

Let's go check it out, shall we?

Wow, it's cool.

Ooh.

Let's go over there.

Thank you.

Oh, hell yeah.
Aliens.

Vasquez, man.

That's one of my
all-time favorites.

Let me get --
I got to get a shot.

This used to be more
of a sci-fi horror con,

but nevertheless,

Dan and Vanessa
are really in their elements.

It's funny you feel, like,
alienated where you grew up,

and so you adopt
the uniform of a subculture

that makes you feel
not more of yourself,

more of who you want to be.

Then you go somewhere
where people are dressed up

as Vasquez from "Aliens" and...

that's your scene.

Okay.

- You look so cute.
- Oh, you look adorable.

**

* Suffering as a child

* Nothing...

The scene here
in downtown L.A.

actually looks like Tokyo Rose
in Charlottesville

circa 2000,

or probably even
The Masque here in L.A.

circa many, many years ago.

It's kind of weird to see,

you know, kids from the city

glom on to such
a ready-made identity.

But then again, Goth was always
a ready-made identify

for anybody who kind of wanted
to step into it.

It was a, you know, loosely
prefabricated set of rules

and vestural scriptures
that you could adapt

as maybe a stepping stone
into identifying

who you really were
and a human being.

It's fucked up the dancing

hasn't gotten any better,
though.

It's kind of weird

how little Goth
has changed over the years.

But I guess we have to kind
of draw a hardline

between original Goth, which
is a bunch of crazy artists

trying to live outside
mainstream rules,

and Goth of, you know,
the last 20 years,

which is kind of
a codified system of rules

in which to kind of join up,

find your clan,

and then maybe
eventually kind of pass

through it as a phase

and become a true
individual afterwards,

which, honestly, is kind of
like how I treated Goth.

Then again, given how
much mainstream acceptance

there's been of Goth things
and Goth people in general,

not so bad to become an aging
Goth chick anymore.

You're just not, you know,

Lydia Lunch or,
you know, a Vampira.

You're just kind of
the cool aunt

who has a niche sort of taste

that's catered to by
major brands everywhere.

Oh, vampire blood.
Cute.