Balls Deep (2016–…): Season 2, Episode 5 - Frosh - full transcript

[ "Pomp and Circumstance"
plays ]

College -- the defining period
in most young people's lives,

or at least what movies and
high-school guidance counselors

have led us to believe
will be the defining moment

in most young people's lives.

But large education
is not constructed

in order to impart useful skills

necessarily
for the outside world,

but is rather a space apart
from that world

in which to try out
new ways of thinking,

challenge your identity,
and redefine ourselves.



I never really went to college
with the proper campus

and frat houses
and all the fixings.

So I'm accompanying
a young lady named Olivia

through her first week of school
here at Beloit College,

see how she adapts to her new
environs, makes friends,

and see what she does with
who she feels she is

and maybe redefine
my own identity

in terms of someone
a little more cool

than me I have been.

By the way, note to editors --
don't put anything tacky

like "Pomp and Circumstance"
under this, please.

It's too on the nose.

[ "Pomp and Circumstance"
continues ]

Do you wash your car regularly?



Or is this just a goin'
to college sort of thing?

It's kind of a, like,
I went out of town,

and it sat under a tree
for 2 weeks

and got really gross.

And I'm goin' to school
and all that.

Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry.

It's all right.

- All right.
- College-ready.

So, Olivia grew up here
in Grayslake, Illinois,

which is a --
not even quite a suburb.

It's, like, a fishing town
on the outskirts of Chicago.

You've done this before,
I'm assuming?

Mm-hmm.

Olivia's going to school
at Beloit College.

It's about an hour
and a half from here.

It's, you know, kind of,
like, tit-for-tat

the equivalent of the place
she's grown up in,

just a place where she can be,
like, further removed

from her support structure.

So it's, you know,
not the biggest leap

in the world into adulthood.

And hopefully it'll be
a little less boring

than, you know, Grayslake.

There's really not
a whole lot to do

when it comes to Grayslake.

What do -- what do you do?

I -- I read.

And I play a lot of music.

Here we have Shakespeare,
my violin,

and Hank, my ukulele...

Benny, my guitar.

And this is Lucy the Destroyer.

She's the newest addition.
- Acoustic bass?

- Yes.
- Nice.

What's comin' with you?

This guy, uh, Lucy, Shakespeare,
Hank, and Benny.

- The named ones.
- Yeah.

This is me.

Thomas: Good spot.

Oh, cool bunk bed.
- Thank you.

What's your space
like at school?

Have you seen it?

It is 12 by 15.
It is...

- Feet?
- Yes.

- That sounds pretty small.
- It is very small.

And I'm sharing it.
My best friend is Willow.

And she is also my roommate.
- Oh, awesome.

I don't know what I would
have done

if I didn't know my roommate.

I was in "The Vagina Monologues"
with Willow.

We sat on stools
with euphemisms for vagina

taped, uh, glued
to the front of them.

So I --
I sat on the "box" stool.

Which one did Willow get?

I think she got "pussy,"

which she is so psyched about.

Pretty sure she's gonna
hang it in our room,

make a really
distinctive first impression.

- Put those two together.
- Yes.

Your room
could be the pussy box.

The pussy box, and what
more could one ask for?

**

So, it seems in her
high school existence,

Olivia fulfilled the sort of
very archetypal

theater-girl sort of role.

This is, um,
just sort of a collection

of different playbills
from shows I was in.

And then I've got the mural
of Bernie Sanders

that I painted on my wall
a while back.

Like, right down to the hair

and the way her bedroom
is kind of painted

and her politics
and her outspokenness

and, like, the very even,
like, syntax and diction

reminds me of theater girls
I've known

since I was in high school

and then in varying classes
in between.

It's kind of uncanny.

Have you seen "Hamilton"? No.

So you haven't
listened to it or anything?

- No.
- It's incredible.

It's, like, the magnum opus
of magnum opuses.

It's just this brilliant work.

I mean, Lin-Manuel Miranda is --

He's the Mozart.
He's the Einstein.

He's the whatever
of our generation.

We'll see what happens

once she's immersed herself
in college.

We'll see if she
ends up being a --

even more of who she is
right now

or someone else completely.

Let's roll the college dice.

How long you think this room's
gonna stay like this?

I imagine my mom
will keep it as something

that resembles a shrine.

She's freaking out.

Tears are, like,
constantly brimming.

Just, like, everything
makes her... nostalgic.

And, uh, she just gets,
like, really,

you know, emotional about stuff.

Uh, but I'm her only child.

And, uh, my -- my dad --
my dad has two sons.

I have a couple half-brothers.

And so he's sort of played
this game before.

Um, he's -- he's not
too worried about it.

John: Go ahead and have a
seat, if you'd like. Thank you.

She mentioned her mom's
getting emotional.

Do you feel
the empty-nest effect?

Yeah. It's --
it's quite emotional.

I mean, it's interesting,
the connection that you have

after all the time
you spend, you know?

How do you think
she's gonna like college?

Well, I think that's
a very good question

because I think that it's, um...

it's either gonna ring a bell

or it's -- it's gonna
make a thud.

She's going for music
and for theater.

Right.

That's the reason
she's going there.

But she likes protecting
the people who need protection.

And so...

It'll be interesting
to see what she ends up with.

Exactly right.
But I hope that she --

what she finds is
she finds something

that's challenging to her.

So -- and respond to that.

Olivia: I've just been
on the verge of tears

for the past like 36 hours.

I do not care for it.

That's a random bag.
It's got toothpaste,

your portable charger...
- Oh, thank you.

- Towels.
- How much is left to grab?

Um, we're in
the final stages here.

I've got a couple pillows.

Pillows are helpful.

Are you good?
You got it?

Fantastic.
- Be right there.

- Mom?
- Yes, sweet pea?

[ Both laugh ]

All right.

All right.
Let's do it.

I'm freakin' out.

You're gonna be fine.

Okay.

Okay. Um...

Car up.

Car up indeed.
What time is it?

Yep. We should, uh...

- Hit the trails.
- We should get goin'.

Okay.

Love you, Dad.

Let's do it.

[ Vocalizing ]

* What goes on here

* La, la, la, la

* At Beloit

We can probably
just take this, right?

Thomas:
I prefer the takin'.

Fantastic.
Thank you.

I love your hair.
- I love your hair.

Thank you.
Hi. Are you new?

Uh, yeah.

Me too. I'm Olivia.

- Hi.
- It's nice to meet you.

Nice to meet you, too.
Love your, like, everything.

Thank you.
Thanks.

Whoops.

Hi, cutie.

We're here!

[ Both laughing ]

How are you?

We'll go down this way.

And your name should be
on your door.

- All right. Cool.
- I found it.

Hi.
And I fell in love.

Ah. Hey.

I was their tour guide.
So I, like...

- She got in on the ground floor.
- I did this.

We can make the beds
go up really tall.

Yes. Good.
That is -- that is ideal.

They also can go
on top of each other.

But that's not happening.
- Not happening.

No, no. No. No, no.
All right.

So here we go.

- Things are happening.
- Things are indeed happening.

Move-in has finished.

So I think this is the official
beginning of college.

Parents are off.

Kids are on their own.

Now we'll see
who they really are.

And who I really am
or want to be.

You guys were super emotional.

I was, like,
when I went to college,

I was, like --
I was like "See ya."

I was very ready to get gone.

- We sort of --
- We feel fond of our people.

Yep. I've had
the same home base.

And I've never been
more than, like,

a couple dozen feet away
from either of my parents.

Yeah. What's the dining
hall like? What are the options?

- It's amazing.
- Oh, it's so great.

There's, like, a world option,

like, grilled option,
like, comfort food.

There was a salsa bar today.

Oh. Well, cool.

This is gonna be the time
of our lives, guys.

Right?

**

ID photos?

ID photos are gonna be upstairs

and in the southwest corridor.

Fantastic.

Excuse me. Oh, my gosh.
You are so beautiful.

Oh, thank you.

Did you bring
your Social Security card

or birth certificate?

- No, I don't --
- I didn't either.

Perfect.

Political science building,
science building,

and then Pearsons.

All right.
Let's do it.

Let's talk about
measuring creativity.

You can't measure love.

You can't measure beauty.

These things have
unchanging essence.

But it's not possible
to measure it.

Did you see
he was teaching barefoot?

Fantastic.

Dude, they've got
fuckin' SoBe on tap.

He's, like, already done
with the first glass.

He got up to get
another glass of the SoBe.

Do you live off of SoBe water?

No. It's always
like 4 bucks.

So having it, like,
yumberry pomegranate

available for free...

- I'm happy for you.
- It's, like...

Thomas:
Beloit is a small college,

which I think is
the reason Olivia picked it.

I didn't realize exactly
how small it is.

Campus is basically two
New York City blocks.

You can probably walk the whole
thing in about 10 minutes.

It's almost like
an amusement park.

Like, College Land or somethin',

which is good for, you know,
having an environment

where you can know everybody

and have one-on-one relationship

with all your teachers
and the people around you.

But, um, also raises the stakes.

Uh, you know,

first impressions count
for a lot.

And if you screw up
with class of,

you know, 200 to 300 people,

then you're gonna
forever be remembered

by those first
couple weeks' missteps.

How's you guys' hall situation,
really? Cool folks on it?

Our next-door
neighbors are really cool.

We like them a lot.
They are both gender neutral.

But one of them was born female.
And one of them was born male.

And the school has a policy
about, like, different halls.

You know, guys and girls
can live together

regardless
of gender and whatever.

So they were like,
"Let's test that theory."

And they applied.
And the school was like,

"Yeah. Go for it."

- What's goin' on?
- Hi. What's up?

We were wondering
if you would take us to Walmart

at some point tomorrow?
- Absolutely.

- Thank you.
- No. Not a problem.

You are the best.
I love your dress also.

Thank you so much.
Willow's mom gave it to me.

- Oh, neat.
- Very cool.

Take care.
Thank you.

Welcome. Hello.
This is Julia and Laura.

Hi.
Nice to meet you guys.

ASM and stage manager.

Can I audition for both shows?
Or is there a limitation?

Yes. You definitely can.

- As anybody?
- Yes.

Thomas: So, Olivia's auditioning
for a role

in this Christopher Durang play,
"Baby with the Bathwater."

Is there an actual baby in that?
Or is it like a stage prop?

- Stage prop.
- Stage prop. Okay.

Christopher Durang is, uh,

not well known outside the world
of theater kids.

He's very much, like,
a theater kid's wet dream

of a comedy playwright.

So what you're going to do
is gonna tell the story

of your morning,
your morning ritual,

anything that comes to mind.

You don't have
to make anything up.

Just share as it is.

Well, I woke up
at 7:45 because...

I -- I don't actually know
why it was set to --

I set my alarm to 7:45
for some reason.

And I don't know why, but I
didn't have to get up till 9:00.

I'm staring at my phone.

And I don't know why
suddenly I have to be awake.

My class isn't until 11:00.
And my roommate woke up.

And she started yelling too

because she didn't have
to be up until 11:15 either.

So we walked over to what
is called the Java Joint.

And I got the world's
worst sandwich.

It was just --
it was just lettuce.

And it was lettuce and turkey.

I wanna make a good first
impression because I'm new here.

And I think it's important
to make a good first impression

when you're new in a place.

And, uh, that was my morning.

Very nice.
Kind of fun, huh? Yeah.

Turn a little knob and see
where it goes. All right?

All right.
Thank you so much.

Thank you so much.
Great.

- Appreciate it.
- Absolutely.

All right. Fantastic.
And did you wanna audition?

Oh, no. I don't wanna take up
your time too much.

- I think you should do it.
- Huh?

It is fun.
It looks fun.

Yeah. So come on up,
if you don't mind.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Same spot?

If I ask you to describe
your childhood home,

would you have a place
that you could journey through

in your mind that would take you
through -- or not?

Sure. Yeah, yeah.

Okay. That's -- that's --

I think so. Okay.

So my family moved to a --

it was, like, a little blue,
kind of standard suburban home,

uh, kind of on
the outskirts of Atlanta

when I was, mm, like,
maybe 2 or so.

Sandwiched between
two cul-de-sacs.

Across the street
from another set of houses,

and then a creek over there.

And the thing with the creek
is you could go over there

and see all these kids
on the other side,

like, riding on dirt --
not dirt bikes --

uh, ATVs, like,
those little four-wheelers.

And we'd go.
And we'd just sit with them,

our friends on this
side of the creek

and just watch and imagine
what was over there.

And there was one kid

who had just this mask
that he would wear.

And we saw him coming down
one night, like,

crossing the creek
on the other side.

What we didn't realize
was there was one

who had something
that he'd conceal

and kind of, like, sheath.

Like, and I saw it
come out once.

And it was.
It was a machete.

And this kid would --
would see us.

And we'd have to run all --

all the way back behind
the Hendersons' house.

And one time he came
all the way across.

And he was, like, he had it out.
He had the machete out.

And, like, he was wearing
this crazy fucking mask.

And it's ridiculous
that they, like,

the parents were all looking
and seeing this, like,

lunatic teenager running around
with this knife.

And we're sitting there
terrified in their bushes.

And no one's fucking
doing anything about it.

Like, and that was just, like,

that was the kind of
neighborhood you lived in.

Everybody has, like, this,
pretty facade on it.

Like, everybody talks
to their neighbors.

But nobody actually gives a shit

about what's happening
to the kids there.

Everybody there is just,
like, consumed

with their own fuckin' --
just their own lives.

Yeah. Continue with the story.
Savage beast.

We could have had
our throats slit

right behind
Mrs. Henderson.

And she wouldn't care
about that.

It was -- it was bullshit.

But, like, that's where
everybody grows up, isn't it?

Like, you know, like,
there's, uh,

everybody kind of has
their own things goin'.

So they're not really
worried too much

about what's happening.

Very nice.
Nice work.

Horrible.

- No, yeah. I figured.
- I'm just kidding.

Thank you.
I am so excited.

It's a comedy?

Yeah.
It's, like, an absurd --

It's an absurdist work
by Christopher Durang.

I'm really looking
forward to it.

We always go to see
the theater productions.

We'll make a special
point of going.

Yay. Thank you.

All right. Onward.
Have a good day.

Music House is havin'
somethin' tonight at like 8:00.

- Yeah?
- Oh, yeah?

How's that? Do you sing?
Do you play instruments?

What do you play?

Cool.

How do you do that with
whatever length of wood that is?

You just have
to carry it places.

Okay. What does that
teach you again?

Oh.

Wood.

Well, no.
Not necessarily.

That you take up?
Okay.

What's your name?

- Kendra.
- All right. Let's do this.

Hi. Nice to meet you.
I'm Olivia.

- Cool ring.
- This is Thomas. Thank you.

Hi.Thomas.
How are you doin'?

Theater.

Yeah. Anyway, I'll let you
do what you were doin'.

Come by tonight.
It'll be fun.

What time is that?

- It's at 9:00.
- 9:00, okay.

Yeah. We got two bands
comin' through.

Fantastic.
Okay. Cool. Great.

Good to meet you.
- Good to meet you.

I really like her.
I wanna be friends with her.

It was a good starting spot.

I talk to strangers a lot.
- Good at that. Yeah.

Puttin' yourself forward.

That was something
I never really mastered.

- No?
- No.

First week of school is over.

Kind of surprised by how focused
the kids are on their work.

But I guess at least
the first week of school,

you do kind of
pay close attention

to what classes are,
if you're a decent student.

And that's obviously mostly
the point of college.

Oh, the other side
is socializing.

And I haven't seen much of that,
which is worrisome,

especially for a school
kind of this small

where you'd hope
they would make up

for their lack of numbers
by, uh, quality.

Quality over quantity.

But supposedly there's
some parties tonight.

I don't know what
that really entails.

I'm so excited.

Like, so many
of my favorite people

are coming to the party
tomorrow night.

Oh, awesome.
You're plannin' on leavin'.

When are you gonna go?
- I don't know.

After the party maybe?

That's not too late to
embark on an hour drive?

No.

**

Thomas: So, despite it being
the first real weekend of school

and presumably the weekend
you'd wanna be there

for parties
and to meet everybody...

Olivia: Hey.

...Olivia has chosen to come
back to Grayslake,

where she grew up.

She is holding a party
of her own,

kind of a belated
going away party.

- Hi.
- It seems a little funny,

especially from somebody
who seems already so, like,

independent and ready
to kind of branch out

on their own that, um,
rather than leaving for college

and being there and not
wanting to turn back,

she's kind of kept her feet

firmly in, you know,
sort of both puddles.

Even choosing Beloit
was kind of, I think,

largely predicated on the fact
that it was close enough to home

that she could be here
every so often.

How often do you think
you'll come back?

I'd say fairly often.

But between this play
and my classes,

I don't even know
if it's a matter of, like,

how often I'll wanna be back

versus a matter of, like, how
often I can afford to be back.

But I know that it's gonna
be harder for me

to adjust to school

if I'm coming back
here constantly.

You know, a lot of kids
are so cordoned down

in their teenhood
that the chance to go to college

and be completely cut off
from your parents is considered,

you know, as a joy
and as something

you've been waiting for
your entire teenage life.

Whereas for Olivia,

who's been given
a pretty wide leash

in her teens, maybe it's not
quite so exciting.

And since she's had a taste
of, uh, what's to come,

maybe it's a little more,
uh, terrifying.

I do wonder what we're
missing back on campus.

It was prime time
for findin' parties.

You're getting a spatula.
He's getting fried eggs.

There's a certain performative
quality of being in college

where you are,
like, I am being in college.

Like, this is too much theory.

But I guess
that's what college is.

Just college.
Just a bunch of college.

That's the problem
when I don't drink for a while.

I get pretty fuckin' drunk.

Thank you guys.

- Good to meet you.
- Yeah.