Ballmastrz 9009 (2018–2020): Season 1, Episode 10 - Strength Through Song; Brotherhood Through Blood; Redemption Through Rage. Sing, Fallen Angel! - full transcript
The Leptons participate in the final game of the season, against none other than Gaz's former teammates.
]
We still have
studio time, guys.
Are you sure you don’t want
to lay down a smoking hot verse?
Yeah, give me a sec.
[ Farts ]
Put that in our stupid
team song.
Call me when you need
my other voice --
for a commercial
or something.
I’d love for you to be
the first woman
on my "Leto Talks to Women"
holocast.
After 196 episodes,
it would really mean
the world to me.
Come on, Gaz!
Our next game is against
the Boom Boom Boys!
You know
how they wow the crowd.
Don’t you want to wow
the crowd, too?
Wow them with song?
Ugh! Ech!
The Boom Boom Boys. Grr!
You know, those hippie-dippy
ravetoids didn’t do squat
when Krayzar kicked me
to the curb.
Jerk-hole Gaz Digzy playing her
former number-one-ranked team
on her last game
of the season?
Yeah, they’re just trying
to humiliate me
even more than
they already have.
[ Bell dings]
It’s ready! Crank this mother!
]
My name is Ace,
♪
But when I scrape my knee,
♪
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Why is your part first?
I ordered us alphabetically
to be fair.
We’re all equals
on this team.
Gaz: Stop!
[ All gasp ]
You think this crappy song
can compete
with the Boom Boom Boys?
Let’s just get this stupid game
over with and call it a season.
We haven’t won
a single game,
and no matter how hard
we try, we will lose,
because
that’s what losers do.
Now excuse me.
I have a liver to kill.
[ Gulping ]
But, Gaz, it’s always
darkest before dawn.
Shove the dawn up your ass!
She’s right!
We’re losers!
[ Groaning ]
Settle down, woman!
I see no losers here!
I ate lentils out
of a dumpster last night.
Gaz, we need you.
I don’t care
what anyone says.
You’re the greatest player
of the game ever!
And maybe we can all be
great someday, too!
We just need you
to show us how!
Kid, you guys suck.
So just accept it.
Pbbt! She only cares
about herself.
She’s just a washed-up,
dumpy diva.
Aaaah!
[ All gasp ]
Hold on.
[ Gulping ]
All: Oh!
Aah-ugh!
[ All scream ]
There!
Hey, this is the master,
right, Tubs?
All right, now,
let’s not do anything crazy.
That’s the only copy
of the song we have!
Since when have
I ever been crazy?
Ah! Keepaway, guys!
Flip, heads up.
Ha ha ha!
Ow.
Ugh! Whoa!
When ya got it,
ya got it!
And you got a date with
a garbage disposal, bitch!
[ Laughs ]
She gives us sass
and mangles
my musical masterpiece?!
Well, I ain’t helping her look
good in front of her old team!
I’d rather go down in flames
just to drag her down with me!
She doesn’t mean it.
She’s just nervous
and needs us to believe
in her more than ever.
We can’t fall apart in our
last game of the season.
♪
[ All growling and snarling ]
Hey.
Hey, now,
you can let go now.
Aaaah!
Ohh!
♪
[ Crowd shouting ]
Please, lady, stop!
You won!
Shut up! I need this!
Aaaaah!
You want to go do sex?
Kind of,
but I’m scared of you.
Give me another everything
and, uh, make it
a double everything.
For real, though,
I know this bar’s
a little boosty,
but let’s see what’s
populatin’ with the locals.
Am I tripping bass,
or is that Digzy
looking nast?
I haven’t seen that
huddle-butt in a minute!
Come on!
These guys, seriously?
What are you
candy-stompering dorks doing
slumming it up at my local?
What, dance floor’s full
at Club La Queef?
We were just
passing through
and wanted to take a pre-game
back and bootie show, girl!
But didn’t expect to peep
our home-sizzle baby-boo!
Ah, whatever.
You know, you douche balls
are just here to gloat.
Go ahead! Don’t matter.
Buy me a round.
Give us a round
of whatever she’s sweatin’.
Why so salty, D?
You’ll always have peace,
love, unity, and respect
from the Boom Boom Boys!
Hundo p!
Insult me all you want.
Like it even bothers me.
Hey, you’re the best,
I’m the worst.
I get it.
Oh, we’re
trill-blissed out, bae!
It’s so good to see you,
kiddie!
No, it’s not!
My life is a toilet.
All my peeps in one
roly-poly room!
Life is a officially
off the hizzy!
Still looking forward
to our game, cheesy quaver?
Yeah, don’t.
We forfeit.
We quit or we forfeit,
and I’m gonna be stuck here.
[ Gulps ] Hey, excuse me while I
either barf or screw someone --
or both!
[ Groans ]
♪
What manner of candy
booms can this be?
Time for this song to become one
with its fellow
toxic garbage, huh?
[ Gasps, groans ]
[ Belches ]
Maybe I’m stuck on stupid,
but I had no idea
Gaz was making beats.
She was always
an okey-momo.
♪
♪
♪
♪
If you disagree,
I’ll rip off your pee-pee ♪
♪
It’s, uh --
I mean, I mean, it’s not --
it’s not completely flat.
For real, though,
let’s give it a sec.
I bet it’s about to blow up!
I’m Flip Champion,
♪
My umbilicus impresses in
♪
♪
Poor Digs.
She must know it’s nast.
Not good at all!
No wonder she was getting
ate up on her own.
Poor Digs.
We gotta do something.
Maybe it’s local --
like the New New!
We gotta boost it
[Echoing] Boom Boom style!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Still no word from Gaz?
I mean, it’s the last game
of the year.
Screw her!
That sass-talking bar rag
ain’t getting
no sympathy out of me!
Baby Ball, we need to stick
together now more than ever.
With or without her,
we’re gonna give it our best!
No, thank you.
And, for the record,
I have still not forgot you
for trying to make me the second
singer on our team song --
even if it is melting
in an incinerator somewhere.
Hopefully, Gaz fell
in there with it.
Sorry, Ball. Not dead yet.
Give it a few hours.
Gaz! I knew you’d come back
when we needed you most!
Plug it, kid.
I’m only here for
three reasons --
clean my locker and to say
goodbye to the sport
that once meant
everything to me.
What’s the third reason?
Shit. I-I’m too wasted
to remember that one.
You know, hell, let’s go out
there and lose, all right?
1, 2, 3! Quit!
All: Quit.
[ Whimpers ]
And now the reunion that
everybody’s talking about --
trash bag Gaz Digzy squares off
against former teammates
the Boom Boom Boys!
Fans can’t wait to see
this...show!
Mmm!
This is for you, Gaz.
We’re the Leptons,
♪
We’re here to say
♪
If you doubt our skills,
♪
With Gaz on our side,
we’ll blow you away! ♪
What?!
You kept the tape?
You knew they had more
powerful speakers than us
and convinced them to play
our song as a sign of respect!
I am impressed, Digzy.
I’m confused.
Is this what happiness
feels like?
Ace:
You can’t fool us anymore.
You’ve been helping us
the whole time,
but you didn’t want us to know.
You knew it was
the only way to show us
how to find the winning
attitude inside ourselves.
I ain’t the person
to lick the bubble,
but I did not give
those twinkle-toed turds
our crappy song.
You knew it would boost
our confidence
and eliminate our doubt
so that we could finally
play together
the way we were
always meant to --
with the burning spirit
of teamwork in our hearts.
[ Laughing ] Wow!
♪
Yeah. I did it for us.
Now get angry, like I am.
Get furious!
Let’s squash those dancing
dead cans together!
Baby Ball: She might be
a flaming piece of donkey shit,
but she’s our flaming
piece of donkey shit!
Ballmastrz!
♪
♪ Ballmastrz ♪
Ballmastrz!
Y’all must be hippie-flippy
if you think we’re
just gonna let you win
’cause we’re still players.
Sorry, girl.
You’re getting sniped!
Ballmastrz!
[ Groans, growls ]
Whoa-ah!
♪ Ballmastrz ♪
♪ Trying to win ♪
♪ Each and every day ♪
♪
[ Growls ]
♪ The ancient key ♪
♪ To victory is ours ♪
♪ Ballmastrz ♪
♪ Come on, Ballmastrz ♪
♪ It’s time to grab
your balls ♪
♪
Ballmastrz!
[ All screaming ]
♪
♪ Ballmastrz ♪
♪ Ballmastrz, go ♪
Ohhhh!
My boom boom box!
♪ Ballmastrz ♪
♪ Ballmastrz, Ballmastrz ♪
♪ Ballmastrz ♪
Ballmastrz!
♪ Ballmastrz ♪
[ Laughs evilly ]
♪ My name is Gaz,
and I’m often blasted ♪
♪ You disco dorks
are about to get molested ♪
[ Grunts ]
♪
Ballmastrz!
Ace:
[ Laughing ] Wow!
Ballmastrz
heavy artillery formation
of vengeance cannon fire!
♪
Yeah!
This is impossible, folks --
literally impossible!
I’m wondering if my eyeballs
are defective.
Leptons win!
Leptons win!
Leptons win!
[ All cheer ]
♪
You did it, Gaz!
This team is more
united than ever --
a feat more impressive than
guiding them to victory.
Duh. I’m awesome.
And they, uh, well,
they’re getting there.
I hate to say it, Gaz,
but you fulfilled
your end of the bargain.
I can now place you on
any team in the game
that your heart desires.
Ace: Gaz!
♪
[ Laughing ]
Come, now, Digzy.
What is it that you want?
[ Sighs ]
I want a beer.
Ballmastrz!
♪
Ball...mastrz.
Ballmastrz!
Ballmast--
We still have
studio time, guys.
Are you sure you don’t want
to lay down a smoking hot verse?
Yeah, give me a sec.
[ Farts ]
Put that in our stupid
team song.
Call me when you need
my other voice --
for a commercial
or something.
I’d love for you to be
the first woman
on my "Leto Talks to Women"
holocast.
After 196 episodes,
it would really mean
the world to me.
Come on, Gaz!
Our next game is against
the Boom Boom Boys!
You know
how they wow the crowd.
Don’t you want to wow
the crowd, too?
Wow them with song?
Ugh! Ech!
The Boom Boom Boys. Grr!
You know, those hippie-dippy
ravetoids didn’t do squat
when Krayzar kicked me
to the curb.
Jerk-hole Gaz Digzy playing her
former number-one-ranked team
on her last game
of the season?
Yeah, they’re just trying
to humiliate me
even more than
they already have.
[ Bell dings]
It’s ready! Crank this mother!
]
My name is Ace,
♪
But when I scrape my knee,
♪
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Why is your part first?
I ordered us alphabetically
to be fair.
We’re all equals
on this team.
Gaz: Stop!
[ All gasp ]
You think this crappy song
can compete
with the Boom Boom Boys?
Let’s just get this stupid game
over with and call it a season.
We haven’t won
a single game,
and no matter how hard
we try, we will lose,
because
that’s what losers do.
Now excuse me.
I have a liver to kill.
[ Gulping ]
But, Gaz, it’s always
darkest before dawn.
Shove the dawn up your ass!
She’s right!
We’re losers!
[ Groaning ]
Settle down, woman!
I see no losers here!
I ate lentils out
of a dumpster last night.
Gaz, we need you.
I don’t care
what anyone says.
You’re the greatest player
of the game ever!
And maybe we can all be
great someday, too!
We just need you
to show us how!
Kid, you guys suck.
So just accept it.
Pbbt! She only cares
about herself.
She’s just a washed-up,
dumpy diva.
Aaaah!
[ All gasp ]
Hold on.
[ Gulping ]
All: Oh!
Aah-ugh!
[ All scream ]
There!
Hey, this is the master,
right, Tubs?
All right, now,
let’s not do anything crazy.
That’s the only copy
of the song we have!
Since when have
I ever been crazy?
Ah! Keepaway, guys!
Flip, heads up.
Ha ha ha!
Ow.
Ugh! Whoa!
When ya got it,
ya got it!
And you got a date with
a garbage disposal, bitch!
[ Laughs ]
She gives us sass
and mangles
my musical masterpiece?!
Well, I ain’t helping her look
good in front of her old team!
I’d rather go down in flames
just to drag her down with me!
She doesn’t mean it.
She’s just nervous
and needs us to believe
in her more than ever.
We can’t fall apart in our
last game of the season.
♪
[ All growling and snarling ]
Hey.
Hey, now,
you can let go now.
Aaaah!
Ohh!
♪
[ Crowd shouting ]
Please, lady, stop!
You won!
Shut up! I need this!
Aaaaah!
You want to go do sex?
Kind of,
but I’m scared of you.
Give me another everything
and, uh, make it
a double everything.
For real, though,
I know this bar’s
a little boosty,
but let’s see what’s
populatin’ with the locals.
Am I tripping bass,
or is that Digzy
looking nast?
I haven’t seen that
huddle-butt in a minute!
Come on!
These guys, seriously?
What are you
candy-stompering dorks doing
slumming it up at my local?
What, dance floor’s full
at Club La Queef?
We were just
passing through
and wanted to take a pre-game
back and bootie show, girl!
But didn’t expect to peep
our home-sizzle baby-boo!
Ah, whatever.
You know, you douche balls
are just here to gloat.
Go ahead! Don’t matter.
Buy me a round.
Give us a round
of whatever she’s sweatin’.
Why so salty, D?
You’ll always have peace,
love, unity, and respect
from the Boom Boom Boys!
Hundo p!
Insult me all you want.
Like it even bothers me.
Hey, you’re the best,
I’m the worst.
I get it.
Oh, we’re
trill-blissed out, bae!
It’s so good to see you,
kiddie!
No, it’s not!
My life is a toilet.
All my peeps in one
roly-poly room!
Life is a officially
off the hizzy!
Still looking forward
to our game, cheesy quaver?
Yeah, don’t.
We forfeit.
We quit or we forfeit,
and I’m gonna be stuck here.
[ Gulps ] Hey, excuse me while I
either barf or screw someone --
or both!
[ Groans ]
♪
What manner of candy
booms can this be?
Time for this song to become one
with its fellow
toxic garbage, huh?
[ Gasps, groans ]
[ Belches ]
Maybe I’m stuck on stupid,
but I had no idea
Gaz was making beats.
She was always
an okey-momo.
♪
♪
♪
♪
If you disagree,
I’ll rip off your pee-pee ♪
♪
It’s, uh --
I mean, I mean, it’s not --
it’s not completely flat.
For real, though,
let’s give it a sec.
I bet it’s about to blow up!
I’m Flip Champion,
♪
My umbilicus impresses in
♪
♪
Poor Digs.
She must know it’s nast.
Not good at all!
No wonder she was getting
ate up on her own.
Poor Digs.
We gotta do something.
Maybe it’s local --
like the New New!
We gotta boost it
[Echoing] Boom Boom style!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Still no word from Gaz?
I mean, it’s the last game
of the year.
Screw her!
That sass-talking bar rag
ain’t getting
no sympathy out of me!
Baby Ball, we need to stick
together now more than ever.
With or without her,
we’re gonna give it our best!
No, thank you.
And, for the record,
I have still not forgot you
for trying to make me the second
singer on our team song --
even if it is melting
in an incinerator somewhere.
Hopefully, Gaz fell
in there with it.
Sorry, Ball. Not dead yet.
Give it a few hours.
Gaz! I knew you’d come back
when we needed you most!
Plug it, kid.
I’m only here for
three reasons --
clean my locker and to say
goodbye to the sport
that once meant
everything to me.
What’s the third reason?
Shit. I-I’m too wasted
to remember that one.
You know, hell, let’s go out
there and lose, all right?
1, 2, 3! Quit!
All: Quit.
[ Whimpers ]
And now the reunion that
everybody’s talking about --
trash bag Gaz Digzy squares off
against former teammates
the Boom Boom Boys!
Fans can’t wait to see
this...show!
Mmm!
This is for you, Gaz.
We’re the Leptons,
♪
We’re here to say
♪
If you doubt our skills,
♪
With Gaz on our side,
we’ll blow you away! ♪
What?!
You kept the tape?
You knew they had more
powerful speakers than us
and convinced them to play
our song as a sign of respect!
I am impressed, Digzy.
I’m confused.
Is this what happiness
feels like?
Ace:
You can’t fool us anymore.
You’ve been helping us
the whole time,
but you didn’t want us to know.
You knew it was
the only way to show us
how to find the winning
attitude inside ourselves.
I ain’t the person
to lick the bubble,
but I did not give
those twinkle-toed turds
our crappy song.
You knew it would boost
our confidence
and eliminate our doubt
so that we could finally
play together
the way we were
always meant to --
with the burning spirit
of teamwork in our hearts.
[ Laughing ] Wow!
♪
Yeah. I did it for us.
Now get angry, like I am.
Get furious!
Let’s squash those dancing
dead cans together!
Baby Ball: She might be
a flaming piece of donkey shit,
but she’s our flaming
piece of donkey shit!
Ballmastrz!
♪
♪ Ballmastrz ♪
Ballmastrz!
Y’all must be hippie-flippy
if you think we’re
just gonna let you win
’cause we’re still players.
Sorry, girl.
You’re getting sniped!
Ballmastrz!
[ Groans, growls ]
Whoa-ah!
♪ Ballmastrz ♪
♪ Trying to win ♪
♪ Each and every day ♪
♪
[ Growls ]
♪ The ancient key ♪
♪ To victory is ours ♪
♪ Ballmastrz ♪
♪ Come on, Ballmastrz ♪
♪ It’s time to grab
your balls ♪
♪
Ballmastrz!
[ All screaming ]
♪
♪ Ballmastrz ♪
♪ Ballmastrz, go ♪
Ohhhh!
My boom boom box!
♪ Ballmastrz ♪
♪ Ballmastrz, Ballmastrz ♪
♪ Ballmastrz ♪
Ballmastrz!
♪ Ballmastrz ♪
[ Laughs evilly ]
♪ My name is Gaz,
and I’m often blasted ♪
♪ You disco dorks
are about to get molested ♪
[ Grunts ]
♪
Ballmastrz!
Ace:
[ Laughing ] Wow!
Ballmastrz
heavy artillery formation
of vengeance cannon fire!
♪
Yeah!
This is impossible, folks --
literally impossible!
I’m wondering if my eyeballs
are defective.
Leptons win!
Leptons win!
Leptons win!
[ All cheer ]
♪
You did it, Gaz!
This team is more
united than ever --
a feat more impressive than
guiding them to victory.
Duh. I’m awesome.
And they, uh, well,
they’re getting there.
I hate to say it, Gaz,
but you fulfilled
your end of the bargain.
I can now place you on
any team in the game
that your heart desires.
Ace: Gaz!
♪
[ Laughing ]
Come, now, Digzy.
What is it that you want?
[ Sighs ]
I want a beer.
Ballmastrz!
♪
Ball...mastrz.
Ballmastrz!
Ballmast--