Ballers (2015–…): Season 2, Episode 3 - Elidee - full transcript

♪ Kane is in the building, nigga... ♪

(MUSIC PLAYING)

♪ Now tell me how you love it,
you know you at the top ♪

♪ When only heaven's
right above it, we on ♪

♪ 'Cause we on ♪

♪ Who else is really trying to
fuck with Hollywood Cole? ♪

♪ I'm with Marley G, bro ♪

♪ Flying Hollygrove chicks
to my Hollywood shows ♪

♪ And I wanna tell you something
that you probably should know ♪

♪ This that "Slumdog
Millionaire" Bollywood flow ♪

♪ And, uh ♪



♪ My real friends never
hearing from me ♪

♪ Fake friends write the wrong
answers on the mirror for me ♪

♪ That's why I pick and choose,
I don't get shit confused ♪

♪ Don't like my women single,
I like my chicks in twos ♪

♪ And these days all the
girls is down to roll ♪

♪ I hit the strip club and all
them bitches find the pole ♪

♪ Plus, I been sippin', so this
shit is movin' kinda slow ♪

♪ Just tell my girl to tell her
friend that it's time to go. ♪

(BUZZING)

(GROANS)

It better be your bony ass dialing me.

Spence, see, we got a...
we got a serious problem.

Yeah, you're calling me at 5:00 A.M.

Vern fucked up his leg.



He look like a fucking horror show.

(CAMERA CLICKS)

Ah!

Damn it. Can he put any weight on it?

Yesterday, yeah, but not now.

He was working out really hard

and... and heard a pop.

Like he'd been shot?

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Uh, shot?

No, that's crazy talk.

No, I'm talking about the sound, Reggie.

He might have popped his Achilles.

Meet me at the Sports Med Center.

I'm gonna call Dr. Russ.
He did Manning's neck

and both of my shoulders.
I will meet you there.

And no dicking around, do you hear me?

Yeah. We on the way.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

♪ It's bad, you know ♪

♪ When you're out on the curb... ♪

Raheem!

What's up, man? You need
a lift to the facility?

We're driving now, man?

Come on, man, Ricky
Jerret hit the open market,

they send the most charismatic
and influential man in town.

And the man responsible for
designing your new contract.

You sound as confident as ever.

Hey, come on, man, New Orleans
is the greatest city in America.

Hey, look, folks here,
man, they will embrace you

and make you one of their own, Rick.

And when they do, you will feel a warmth

that you've never felt in your life.

Well, I hope that warmth
comes with a big-ass offer.

Hey, trust me, we pulled
out all the stops.

And stop one is getting you to Cafe
Du Monde to get you a beignet.

- To get me a what?
- A beignet.

That's what I thought I heard. Let's go.

(ENGINE ROARING)

(MUSIC THUMPING)

Hey, brother, how you feeling?

Oh, you stopped for tacos.

It's a chalupa. I bought you one.

No, no, no. I'm good. I'm good.

We're gonna get you inside.

He was hungry. What I'm supposed to say?

I'm just parking.

It'd be best if I park the car.
Let me just do that.

I don't want to get cut on.

It's all right. I got you
the best doc in the biz.

I've had seven surgeries with him

and every single time
it's like taking a nap

in the arms of a beautiful lady.

I got to be straight up, Spence.

I wasn't training. I
was playing paintball.

Okay, well, don't worry
about that, all right?

- We're gonna get you better.
- Cool.

I guess this answers the question

how much training can one man do?

Doc, thanks for getting here so quick.

Lucky for you, I can literally
do these in my sleep.

- Grab a chair.
- Yep.

- On your knees, kid.
- Thompson test.

It's all right. It's how
we check your Achilles.

It's cool, Vern. They just here to help.

Please, please, heavenly Jesus.

Don't fuck with my Achilles.

Afraid he isn't listening.
Prep the OR, please.

Reggie: Hey, listen, Vern, man,
it's gonna be all right, man.

There you go.

Doc, a CT scan just to make sure?

Absolutely, but I'm pretty sure the holy
one won't come through there either.

- I need to get him ready.
- Hey, man, you gonna be all right, Vern.

You're gonna come back better than ever.
Don't worry about it.

You can climb Mt.
Kilimanjaro if you want to.

Stay strong, brother.

I got to call Hal, update the team.

What the fuck for?

Because Vernon could
miss half the season.

- What kind of training was he doing?
- Paintball.

- Hey...
- Please, stop.

Just tell me that this is some
new shit at Jay Glazer's gym.

No, it's not. They were literally
running around the woods

playing fucking pretend soldier.

Oh, good, look. There's a defibrillator.

Hey, man, it wasn't my idea.
Laser tag is more my game.

I mean, it got air
conditioning in there.

They got a snack bar. The
snacks are delicious.

Dallas could void Vernon's contract.

Fucking NFls.

What are we gonna tell him?

Reggie: Uh, look, if it's
gonna mess with Vern's money,

then don't tell him shit.

I mean, Vern's got a
right to have a life.

God damn it, no.

What? What?

I fucking agree with Reggie.

What?

Just a matter of time.

All right, I got to
take the minivan today.

I'm gonna pick up a big plant
for Kiki's room after work.

Help boost the oxygen levels.

Hmm, ever wonder why keys
are so popular with babies?

They got nowhere to be.

You okay?

Yeah, I'm good.

Just been up all night thinking about
this whole right tackle thing.

It's a tough switch, but you never
shied away from a challenge.

Pssh, blocking Chandler
Jones is a challenge.

This is like asking a lefty
to throw righty, huh?

Huh? It's like when
you play left tackle,

your dominant side

- is your right arm and your right leg.
- Mm-hmm.

But when you're on the right tackle,

it's the whole other way around.

You got different hand placement.

We got different footwork.

You got to get out in front of the run.

It's a lot more hitting.

I'm sorry, baby. I promise
you I'm listening,

but you look so damn cute right
now and I'm late for work.

Whoop, wrong ones.

Spencer Strasmore, number 92.

- (PHONE CHIMES)
- Sorry, buddy, I've got to get this.

- Quick selfie?
- Get in there.

- Yeah.
- (CLICKS)

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

(CHUCKLES) Hey, Joe.

Joe: Hey, where the fuck are you?

Well, Vernon blew out his
Achilles, so I'm at the hospital.

- Man, is he okay?
- He's scared shitless and he should be.

Oh, my God. Well, I'll have
Virginia send flowers or something.

But, hey, meantime, your old buddy
Andre's banging on our clients.

- Who's he trying to take?
- All of them.

Everyone except for Vern and Ricky.

- What the fuck?
- Yeah, that's right.

Victor Cruz, LaMarr Woodley,
Jared Odrick, Spice Adams.

- They all got calls.
- Spice is retired.

Yeah, well, he's carpet bombing, man.

I told Victor we'd get
him a dance studio.

Jared wants a fashion line and
Lamar's starting a record label.

His cousin's demo's
actually not that bad.

All right, Joe, don't make any
promises we can't keep, okay?

Hey, I'm just trying to hold down the
fort here, okay, pal? We're under siege.

Any of those guys in town?

Yeah, Spice. He's in town
scouting locations for his hotel.

He wants to build a fucking hotel?

His pitch was very heartwarming.
He started to cry.

Joe, we have to get ahead of this.

Let's set up an appointment with Spice,

take him for a steak
dinner while he's in town.

And, Joe, stop approving shit.

Okay. Don't ever tell
me what to do. Bye.

(SIGHS)

Tell her multiple
times a day I miss her.

All right, baby.

- I love you, baby.
- (MUSIC BLARING)

Every day with this punk. Hey!

Hey, slow your ass down!

Damn it.

Hey, Spence, you was right.
It wasn't that bad after all.

Glad to hear that. Now,
you want to tell us

why the fuck you were playing paintball?

Just trying to keep it loose.

Vernon, you can't play
paintball, basketball, baseball,

anything with a fucking ball in it in
the off-season for this exact reason.

Technically, it's more like a pellet.

Vernon, you have an entire organization,
teammates that depend on you.

You can't keep taking risks with your
career for shits and giggles like this.

What's the point of working so
hard if you can't have any fun?

You don't get paid if you don't play.

They have to pay him. The
contract's guaranteed.

Not if they find out it's
a non-football injury.

So then they won't find out.
I mean, nobody saw us.

Jason already told them
that Vern was working out.

Look, you were in the backyard doing
agility drills with Marcus, all right?

- Three cone L drills.
- I don't like to lie.

Vernon, Dallas can never
find out how this happened.

Hey, man, you're not property, Vern.

You don't owe them nothing.

Three cone L drill it is, I guess.

You know, I still show my guys clips
from that game you had as a rookie.

They had a meaningless
week 16 game versus Denver

and you put up 217 yards
mostly on little slants.

We lost 42-14.

- But who got those 14?
- I did.

- (LAUGHING)
- Damn right, you did.

Listen, Miami, they didn't
utilize your speed like we will.

And you still stuffed the stat sheet.

Yeah, we're totally open if you have
any plays you want to bring with you.

No, I'm all about the
present and the future.

That's good to hear. You
got any questions for us?

Yeah.

Where's the love?

Moms worked hard saving up dough,

so every summer when it got
a little hot in the hood,

she would take us kids to a
little motel on the beach in AC.

Place was a rathole, but I had
the best times of my life there.

Yeah, fond memories. You know, it's
sentimental. It gets you right there.

Yeah, my hotel is gonna
be elegant and cool,

but affordable so anybody can come.

I'm gonna name it after my moms.

Elidee.

- Elidee.
- Elidee?

- It means honorable.
- Wow, nice.

Oh, my God, doesn't that just
melt your heart or what?

Yeah.

Man, I hope someday some
kid will come to Elidee

and feel the exact same way that I did

minus the bedbugs and bloodstains.

(LAUGHS) Bloodstains.

Well, hotels are hot right now,

- especially in Miami.
- Mm-hmm.

That's what Andre said.

Yeah.

Look, Spice, it's a boom or bust town.

- How much you putting in?
- Four million.

Four million. It's no
chump change, brother.

Well, hey, look, if the location's
right, we should explore it.

- I got a primo spot in Key Largo.
- Nice.

So let me go unleash hell real
quick, and we'll talk more about it.

All right. All right.

What the fuck are you doing?

Oh, my God, will you just
hold on to your principles

for a few days and do whatever
the man says, please?

$4 million is way too
much of a risk for him.

He wants to honor his dead mom.

I've already got Vernon lying
to Dallas about his injury.

I'm in no mood to
bullshit anybody anymore.

Don't be so quick to judge, okay?

Let's go see the property.
Give it a chance.

No fucking way. I've
been up since 5:00 A.M.

I'm about ready to pass out now.

- Oh, whaa, whaa.
- Listen to you.

Take a nap.

Touch your heart again when
he's telling you a story.

I was actually touched by that.

What is this? We didn't order dessert.

It's compliments of Miami
Wealth Management.

Andre also picked up your tab.
He's such a mensch.

He's the best.

So, you guys want to go check
this property out with your boy?

- It's a brilliant idea, Spice.
- Yeah.

- Let's do it.
- Let's do it.

You're not gonna leave
this here, are you?

No way. We'll box that up.

- We already got the tab.
- That's what I'm talking about.

Hut.

Bad news about the minivan, babe.

Started making this little
click, click, click noise,

so I had to bring it into the shop.

Okay. Damn!

I mean, it's all good. I can
pick it up in the morning.

Oh, no, no, no. It's not you.

I'm trying to play with the right tackle

and I don't know if I'm
gonna be able to do this.

I mean, I guess if this is what the
Dolphins want, I got no choice.

It's not like teams are lining
up for a 35-year-old tackle.

Hey, you're not just any tackle, baby.

- You the Black Swan.
- Oh, mmm.

Okay, baby, I just... I
got to make me one block.

You just did.

Hey.

♪ Let me tell you about
a little situation ♪

♪ That's been testing my patience ♪

♪ Man, she was keeping
me up all night... ♪

(KNOCKS)

♪ We were off to the races ♪

♪ And I thought to myself... ♪

Jay, Hal. Sorry to keep bugging you.

Where the fuck is our player?!

Call me, you son of a bitch.

Hey, Reg, man, let me know when he gone.

I got to pee like a bitch.

Looks great if you picture it
without the garbage, you know?

Wow, I'm shocked no one's
pounced on this place.

Yeah. Yeah, you know, I
think with a little work,

this place could be the
Shangri-La of the Keys.

(PHONE CHIMES)

Guys, I've got to take this.
What's up, Jay?

Vernon's gone AWOL again.
He's not taking my calls.

Hal even flew in from Dallas
and said that he wasn't home.

- You try the hospital?
- Yeah, he was released after surgery.

Look, you know, I got company.

I'm gonna shut it down for the day.
I need to unwind.

All right, no problem.
I'm gonna find him.

All right, maybe you'll find him
zip-lining over a lake of fire

or fucking skiing off-piste
in the Swiss Alps.

I've got bad news, boys.

- What's up?
- Those are red mangrove.

Yeah, they're beautiful, right?

They're also blocking the view.

So we just hack them out.

It's against the law to
cut these down, Spice.

These look like they got
a lot of growing to do.

Well, that will help with
shoreline erosion, right?

And not everybody likes
looking at the water.

- That's right.
- Yeah.

Yeah, well, those people don't come
to the Florida fucking Keys, guys.

- Come on, look at this.
- So you're not into it?

Of course he's into it.
We're both into it.

It's just gonna take a little
vision, right, Spence?

It's gonna take a little vision,
but maybe we can make it work.

- See, huh?
- There we go.

- Elidee.
- Elidee, yeah.

Elidee.

We need a vet like you
in our receiver room.

Someone who can show these young
guys what it takes to be a real pro

and a reliable third down
guy for crunch time.

We need a leader.

You can finish your career
here in New Orleans.

Yeah, Steve Smith played till he was 36.

And here's proof that we believe

you have that kind of longevity.

And it's a great offer.

♪ Take me to a West Side party, girl ♪

♪ The West Side party gonna rock ♪

♪ I'm going to the East Side... ♪

(PHONE CHIMES)

Rick, how's the Big Easy, brother?
Talk to me.

- I'm ready to get the fuck out of here.
- They lowballing you already?

No, the offer's solid, actually,

but for a city full of
soul, I ain't feeling it.

No Coach Payton, no Drew Brees.

They want to get into
Ricky Jerret's pants,

they better bring their A game.

Okay, no, no, no. I hear you.

But listen, Payton and Brees
are probably not there

because they're probably on vacation with
their families or something like that.

Hell, I could use a vacay. Shit, I planned
on going to Jerusalem this summer.

Instead, I'm flying my ass around all
over the country trying to get a new job.

Okay, well, let's just be smart,
keep a calm head, all right?

Shit, you didn't when you were here.

No, that's right, I didn't.

Instead of riding off into the sunset,

I drove right into a fucking brick wall.
Thank you, honey.

Listen, turn the phone off tonight
and get some sleep, okay?

Sounds like you should
do the same, Spence.

No rest for the weary, brother.

- You know that.
- I feel you.

Oh, some dude named Andre Alan called

about an investment opportunity.

What'd you tell him?

Told him he can kiss my ass.

I got the best moneyman in the business.

(LAUGHS) My man. My man.

All right, get some rest and
I'll call you tomorrow.

Where's Spice?

Oh, he's pissing in the mangroves.

To the honorable Elidee.

You know this property is no good.

- It's not that terrible.
- It's a piece of shit.

Just please quit being so pessimistic.

Stop being so soft. Without
trust we got nothing.

What the fuck are we
supposed to do, then,

with fuckface Andre trying
to steal all our clients?

Just tell Spice it's shit

and let him run into the
arms of the competition?

Joe, we're his advisors, okay?

And stringing him along just to
save our asses, that's not right.

Hey, sometimes you got to paint
outside the lines, okay?

Everybody does it.

Where you think you're going?

I got to puke up the last
four rounds just real quick.

(PHONE CHIMING)

My man Spence. I think I'm
ready for another round.

(LAUGHS)

This hotel thing isn't
gonna happen here, Spice.

What? What you mean?

I mean you don't have the
money, the location sucks,

EPA is gonna be up your ass, Coastal
Commission is gonna be up your ass.

It's not a good deal.

I'm bored out of my
fucking mind, Spencer.

- I need this.
- And we're gonna get it for you, okay?

I promise you that. We did it for Suh.

We're doing it for our other clients

and eventually we're
gonna do it for you.

But you got to take my word for this.

This is not the place, okay?

And listen, going broke on this deal

just to honor your dead mother is
not the way to do it, brother.

Who said she was dead?

I'm really sorry. I... wow, I'm
really fucked up right now.

I just thought the way
you were present...

you know what I'm saying, right?

Okay. I see what you're saying, Spence.

But I ain't giving up on it.

I ain't gonna let you give up on it.

Why don't you come to
the office on Monday?

Let's sit down, let's
find a prime location.

Let's build a beautiful hotel

and we're gonna honor your
mother who's still alive.

- Appreciate it.
- All right, I appreciate you.

- Thank you for trusting me.
- Yes, sir.

You lovebirds ready to do some shots?

- (GROANS)
- Huh?

Whoo.

(ENGINE REVVING)

I'm gonna kill this punk.

(MUSIC BLARING)

Julie?

- Hey.
- I thought you went to work.

First I had to pick up
my baby daddy's whip.

- Oh, really?
- (LAUGHS)

- You did this for me?
- I couldn't resist, baby.

You make being a dad look so easy,

hard to remember you
as a football player.

Oh, what you working with here?

- (TURNS UP MUSIC)
- Hey.

♪ Never disturb a baker when
he's mixing up the flour ♪

♪ Devour these criminals
stepping on my toes... ♪

How much time you got before work?

7:05. The clock is ticking.

- Two-minute drill?
- You better play to win, Charles.

I can't be going into overtime.

- Okay.
- Oh, yeah.

- Come on, baby.
- No, no, no.

- I got a different idea.
- (SQUEALS)

I got a different idea.

Break it in.

- Oh, you got the plant.
- Yeah.

God, I'm gonna tear you up, girl.

(JULIE GIGGLES)

Fucking Andre.

(KNOB RATTLES)

Vernon, open up. It's me.

Vernon, we don't got to
do this anymore. Open up.

Vernon, it's Spence.

Really?

Sorry, I was just doing
what Vern asked me to do.

Put a pot of coffee on, please.

Um, how do you take it?

Black, no sugar. And find
a better spot for this.

People have been trying
to reach you, man.

I turned off my ringer.

It's not a good way to play it, Vern.

Jay Glazer kept calling me.

I don't know how he got my number.

He probably just wants a quote.

Then the boss man kept hitting me.

So I shut the phone down.

Vernon, you always take the boss's
call even when you're scared.

Shit, I feel bad.

I let them all down.

Yeah, yeah. And now you got Hal

stalking through your bushes
like a fucking pedophile.

Vernon, these are the guys
that sign your checks.

I don't want to lie to them, Spence.

Then don't.

If your gut says tell the truth,

then that's exactly what you should do.

What if they decide to cut me loose?

Let me tell you something, Vern.

(GROANS)

I once did some shit that
I didn't want to face,

so I dropped my phone
in a glass of beer.

Not too long after that, I
was packing for New Orleans.

Brother, make the call.

You need Dallas just as
badly as they need you.

(SIGHS)

All right, Spence.

(RINGING)

Vernon, we've been worried about you.

- How are you?
- Been a whole lot better, sir.

But my agent says when I come back,

I'll be able to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro.

Well, maybe I'll join you.

I wanted to make sure the Plug
was taking care of himself.

Doing my best, sir.

If ignoring your calls
and hiding from Hal

is your best, son, it simply won't do.

I know, I know. I'm sorry.

Tell me what really happened.

Honestly, I lied to Jason.

I wasn't training when I got hurt.

I was playing paintball with my friends.

- Paintball?
- Yes, sir.

Paintball. Ever tried it?

Good-bye, Vernon.

Hello?

Raheem: Yo, Rick.

What, you ain't gonna let me leave?

I ain't afraid to fly commercial.

Come on, you don't think we'd actually
send off Ricky Jerret that way.

Who's we?

(BAND PLAYING)

(LAUGHS)

Oh, man.

(LAUGHS)

You feel the love now, Ricky?

Oh, uh, absolutely, Coach Payton.

I did not expect you.

Hey, it's good to see you.
Drew wanted to be here, too,

but he's with the family
down in New Zealand.

- It's good having you.
- I understand that.

It's good to be here.

(CHOIR SINGING)

♪ Can you feel the love? ♪

♪ Can you feel the love?
Can you feel the love? ♪

♪ Can you feel the love? ♪

♪ Can you feel the love? ♪

It's all about you. Go on, feel it.

We gonna win the championship.

♪ You know what I'm saying is true ♪

♪ I can feel the love,
can you feel it, too? ♪

♪ I can feel the love... ♪

- Beautiful. Beautiful.
- ♪ I can feel the love ♪

♪ You know what I'm saying is true ♪

- ♪ I can feel the love... ♪
- Ladies, wave those pom-poms.

♪ I can feel the love. ♪

(CHEERING)

Crowd: Who dat, Ricky Jerret?
Who dat? Who dat?

- Oh! Oh! Oh!
- Who dat, Ricky Jerret?

♪ You know what I'm saying is true ♪

♪ I can feel the love,
can you feel it, too? ♪

♪ I can feel it, oh ♪

♪ I can feel it, oh ♪

♪ You know what I'm saying is true ♪

♪ I can feel the love,
can you feel it, too? ♪

♪ I can feel it, oh ♪

♪ I can feel it, oh... ♪

(VOCALIZING)