Ballers (2015–…): Season 1, Episode 6 - Everything Is Everything - full transcript

(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

Kane is in the building, nigga

Now tell me how you love it
You know you at the top

When only heaven's right above it, we on

'Cause we on

Who else is really trying to fuck
with Hollywood Cole?

I'm with Marley G, bro

Flying Holly Grove chicks
to my Hollywood shows

And I wanna tell you
something that you probably should know

This that
Slumdog Millionaire Bollywood flow

And...



My real friends never hearing from me

Fake friends write the wrong
answers on the mirror for me

That's why I pick and choose
I don't get shit confused

Don't like my women single
I like my chicks in twos

And these days all the girls is down to roll

I hit the strip club
and all them bitches find the pole

Plus, I been sippin'
So this shit is movin' kinda slow

Just tell my girl
to tell her friend that it's time to go

(MEN SHOUTING)

(LAUGHS) Oh, sorry.

Ah, you gotta look it in. You gotta look it in.

-(LAUGHS)
-(CHUCKLES)

Let me see it again.

All right, go deep.
I got a cannon like Rodgers.



(WOMAN GASPS)

SPENCER: Nice hands! (LAUGHS)

Spike it.

All right, well, it's nice to see you
lightening up for a change.

Ah, I'm in a sunshine state of mind.

Mmm-hmm. I can see that.

It's probably because
you finally got that MRI like I asked you to.

I did. Feels great. Passed with flying colors.

So now you can stop
obsessing over Vernon and Ricky

and, gee, I don't know,
possibly having brain damage.

Oh, I know. No more obsessions. No.

It's a big step for you.

It's a huge step.

In a forward direction.

Like a triple jump. I feel like a new guy.

It's incredible.

You didn't get the MRI, did you?

Nah, I might not have.

Hey, if you don't give a shit, why should I?

I give a shit. I'm gonna reschedule today.

TRACY: Well, don't do me any favors, okay?

If you want to keep using everyone else's
problems to avoid your own,

go ahead.

I'm just gonna sit here and read this magazine

while you lose your damn mind.

I'm gonna get the MRI.

God damn, right in the back
of the fucking head.

You don't throw a goddamn ball
at somebody who has their back turned.

Fuck!

Way to keep it light, Strasmore.

- I'll get it.
- TRACY: Good idea.

I'll get it.

It's on me.

(FUNK MUSIC PLAYING)

(DOORBELL DINGS)

Oh!

Damn, nigga, you look like shit.

- I do?
- Mmm-hmm.

This is where you really want to be, Charles?

I always want to kick it at the Funhouse.

Y'all just never let me partake.

Yeah, out of respect for that ring
on your finger.

Get in here, man. Come on.

I'll give you a tour. Come on.

-(WOMAN GIGGLES)
- Here's the game room.

Full bar. Comes with the ladies.

Arcade.

Hey, what's up, guys?

Okay.

Whoa! Damn, man.

- Yup, yup-
- Nice pool.

- Well, this is the love pond.
-(CHUCKLES)

Oh, man. Warm, too.

Must have busted about a thousand nuts
in this bitch.

Ah!

Now this is the freak room.

- Huh?
- Mmm.

If you feel like you wanna make love

-I'll bet that's good for your back.
-lt's therapeutic.

This is my favorite spot in the entire house.

(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

Ain't a home till you got that foam.

(LAUGHS)

WOMAN: (ON TV) Hey, how's it going?

Good. Any emails today?

And this is the home theater.

(SNICKERS)

That's Stoops and that's TTD.
They look after the place.

- Hey, what's up, fellas?
- Have you seen the movie Her?

- No.
- Dude is in a sexual relationship

with his operating system.

(LAUGHS) That shit is imaginative.

Check that out sometime.

So you say Bella don't know
about this place, huh?

One of the only secrets
I've ever been able to keep from her.

Well, that and mixing it up
with Alonzo's mom.

Hell, I didn't even know about that.

Really appreciate you having rne, man.
I was getting lonely at the hotel.

I got you.
You trying to blow your shit up, Charles?

(SIGHS) I don't know, man.

It's like the walls were closing in at home.
I couldn't breathe.

Julie tripping 'cause she ain't pregnant yet.

I feel shitty for giving out your number.

For real, man.
I mean, you got a special thing with your wife.

A thing I'm far too selfish and immature
to have for myself.

You need to go home. The Funhouse
is no place for a married man, Charles.

You know what?

What if I want to be selfish
and immature for a change?

You think about that?

I don't know, man.

Mmm, Ricky Jerret on TV again.

Reliable sources have reported

that a fight between Miami Dolphins'
wide receiver Ricky Jerret and Alonzo Cooley

may have been ignited by Jerret's relationship

with his teammate's family member.

Who would have saw this coming?
Ricky Jerret in trouble again.

Think I should lose the beard?

I think you should call Mr. Siefert.

That man took a chance on you.

Both me and Spence vouched.

Man, that's all tabloid bullshit.

Me and Larry, we cool, all right? Cat loves me.

- Okay. Yeah.
- Yeah.

-(PHONE RINGING)
- Shit, this is him right now.

Loves me. Hello, Mr. Siefert, how are you?

Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Twenty minutes, I'll...

Hello? Hello?

Shit, I gotta bounce. Enjoy yourself.

(SEAGULLS SCREECHING)

Five minutes early, Mr. Siefert.

Punctuality is your strong suit, Ricky.

- Keeping it in your pants is not.
-(LAUGHS)

The organization is not so amused.
You should have come clean.

- I didn't want to drag you into it.
- Sleeping with your teammate's mother.

Scandalous business.

I know it and I'm ashamed.

Bullshit. A man like you has no shame.

You're an entertainer.

But do you see me wearing
tails and a top hat?

No, sir.

'Cause this isn't the circus
and I'm not a ringleader.

I didn't sign you to create a sideshow, Ricky,

become Miami's Ocho or TO.

Alonzo's mom is already talking to TMZ
and PR's not about to touch it.

So you better go out there
and kiss some babies.

Yes, sir.

Just do me a favor and don't have sex
with their mothers.

I thought I was pretty clear on the phone
explaining the situation

but I guess not, so what's up, fellas?

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

Everything is everything.

Wow, that's heavy, man.

(SPENCER LAUGHS)

So you called this meeting
at my house at 10:00 at night

to tell us that everything is everything?

It's a nice-ass house, Spence. It's cozy.

- Thank you, Vern.
- You welcome.

REGGIE: I came here for some clarity.

You said Miss Angela Lee
took the photos of Vernon.

And photos of you.

SPENCER: Yeah, there's a great shot of you

just blowing a huge rail of coke
right off a pair of tits.

Which I guess makes it hard to see

that someone's pointing
a fucking camera at you.

You can't because your head's down

and there's areolas
and it fucks up your periph.

Yeah, yeah, you have a fucking blind spot.

Like a Hyundai that is fueled by cocaine.

Do you have any idea why?
Why Angie would do this?

Give it a shot for a second. Why do you think?
Maybe the fucking money?

There's that.

But word on the street is, you know Angela.

What street is that, Reg? Stupid Street?

You a real funny motherfucker, ain't you?

- It just comes to you.
- Yeah.

Wait, wait, wait,
you saying you know Angela?

No, Vernon, they're acquaintances, that's all.

- That's fucked up.
- SPENCER: Vernon, listen.

Just because I know her, it has nothing
to do with her coming after you.

- Are you sure about that?
-l'm positive.

I gathered us all here to make sure
everybody's on the same level.

You better be straight up with us from now on

or we might have to make a change.

The fact that I know Angie doesn't mean shit.

You're the one doing coke.
Don't try and pin this bullshit on me, Reg.

Why not?
You said Jason handles the contracts.

Joe handles the money,
and you handle everything else in between.

Now, I'm no Dr. Phil, but this kind of feels like

an everything-else situation.

- So you best handle it, bro.
- We're handling it, bro, okay?

He's gonna go see Maximo tomorrow

and he's gonna get the number down.

Good.

Do your thing and let us know how it goes.
And, Spence, no more keeping shit from me.

- I'll call you tomorrow, Vern.
- VERNON: Come on, man.

(CHUCKLES)

Everything is everything.

(PHONE RINGS)

- Hey.
- SPENCER: Hey. Good morning.

Just wanted you to know
that I rescheduled my CT exam

the day after tomorrow, first thing, 8:00 a.m.

- Glad to hear that.
- SPENCER: Trace, I'm really sorry.

I've gotten so damn used to lying to myself

that doing it to others has become a habit.

- Well, you know, I hate being a nag.
- SPENCER: I'm glad you got after me.

A boot in my ass from you
is exactly what I need.

Just remember,
I'm not a life coach, Spencer, okay?

- You've got to pull it together.
- SPENCER: I will.

I'm just really worried that all the hits
I shelled out over the years

has knocked something loose upstairs.

All the headaches, the nightmares that I have,

the little outbursts...

The truth is, this whole thing
really scares the shit out of me.

(SIGHS)

Too much information?

(PHONE BUZZING)

Hello, Trace.

I'm literally right next to a fucking cell tower.

You would think I could hold a signal.

Oh, did you hear Ricky's MILF is talking
to TMZ?

(SIGHS) No. What's up?

TRACY: She is spilling it all.
Says he likes to be spanked

'cause he's such a bad boy.

Come on. This shit's ridiculous.

(PHONE BUZZES)

You know what, that's him on the other line.
Let me call you back.

Let rne know if there's anything I can do.
Outside of paddling Ricky's ass.

Oh, that's me.

Hey, Rick.

I do not like to be spanked, Spence.

SPENCER: I know.

I never had a woman spank me other than
my mother and I deserved that shit.

Okay, I want you to calm down.

Kara's just trying to soak up
her 15 minutes of fame.

See, now I got Siefert and Bella
up my ass, man.

And you got Kara whaling on it.

RICKY: This is no time for jokes, dude.

The whole fucking world is crumbling.

I want you to calm down, okay?
You're gonna be fine.

I know exactly the man to call for this.

Yeah? What, you gonna call Mr. Ross?

SPENCER: I got another idea.

In the meantime, I want you to go home,

put on your Kevlar vest
just in case Bella's around,

and don't talk to anybody.

Just try and relax, you hear me?

- All good?
-(EXHALES)

All right. All right. All good.

All right.

I'll talk to you later, Spanky.

-(CROWD CHEERING)
- ANNOUNCER: Around the final turn

they come,
Father's Moustache tiring, followed by...

- Come on!
- Go, Machete Charge!

ANNOUNCER: ...and Machete Charge!

Stretch, baby! Stretch it!

Run, you four-legged fuck! Do your job!

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

(CROWD CONTINUES CHEERING)

ANNOUNCER: Machete Charge!

Oh! What?

-That's my pony, baby.
-Wow!

Max, I gotta say, man, you are way more fun
outside the office.

This place is fucking amazing.

I can't believe you've never
even been to the track.

Yeah, no, I know, I know. I can't either.

Somehow gambling didn't make it
onto my list of vices.

I come for the sheer beauty

of watching these beautiful creatures
just run on the track.

Here are your mojitos, Maximo.

Thank you, Amanda.

You are looking stunning today.

Thanks.

Thanks.

Plus I've been trying to have sex
with that waitress

for nearly a year now. I'm so close.

Just give her an internship.
Yeah, it works every time.

You're much better company than Spencer.

That dude needs some
anger management skills.

Well, to be honest, Max,
he's got a right to be pissed.

I mean, unless you have a picture of Vernon
eating a baby,

half a million's a ridiculous ask.

Come on, Joe. Vernon and his entire crew,

they make it rain wherever they go.

All they gotta do is
send some of that green weather our way.

Vern's neck-deep in debt

and his first contract's already paid out.

Well, I guess Angela's just gonna
have to sell the pictures elsewhere.

Hmm.

Max, you sure you want to be known
as an ambulance chaser?

Is that the kind of rep you're trying to build?

Well, like you've never cooked the books?

Don't get high and mighty.
We're bonding here.

All right, okay. You're right. You're right.

But if she wants the money fast,
she's gotta bring the price down.

- What could Vernon afford?
-50 grand.

Why don't you shit in my shrimp cocktail
while you're at it?

You're gonna have to do better than that.

- Seventy-five.
- Three hundred.

- One hundred.
- One-fifty.

Two...

Wait. Just like that, 150?

- That was easy.
-l'll bring the offer to my client.

In the meantime, how about we order
another round and double-fist this baby?

- Let's get three.
- Let's do it.

BOTH: Amanda!

(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)

-(GRUNTING)
- MAN: Come on. Come on.

That's 10.

- Fucking A, man.
- SPENCER: Yeah. Thank you, T.

Spencer, you kidding me, man?

Cut a deal with Father Time or something?

I knew I'd find you here.

Hey, by the way, real quick, my bad.

I didn't show up to your big shindig
the other night.

- You didn't miss a thing.
- That's not what I hear.

- Ah, man, I got something for you, though.
- What do you got?

Are you interested in an exclusive?

Always. On you?

No, no, no. I got something way more juicy.

What could possibly be juicy...

Come on, man, you're not actually
gonna try and sell me

Ricky the motherfucker, are you?

Ricky the football player, Jay.

Ricky the motherfucking football player.

Come on, Spence.
Why would I possibly do this?

Why? Because if there's a man alive
to tell the real story, it's you.

Listen, Ricky's made some mistakes,
but he has heart.

Okay? And plus,
I've got some inside shit for you

that's gonna make this a must-see.
I'm out here to raise your ratings.

Yeah, thank you, Mr. Nielsen. I appreciate it.

If I do this, no publicist,

no PR guys, he doesn't get lawyered up,
nothing of that.

I want the real Ricky.

His career's on the line

and the only card that he has left to play
is the truth.

And you're gonna get the truth.

- You got it. Done.
- My man.

Hey, what's happening
with Littlefield's contract?

One exclusive at a time, Jay.

- Don't hold me back. Come on.
- Can't give you everything.

Okay, listen, the moment that comes in,
you got the story.

Holding you to that.
And right now I need a little work in the gym.

What do you say, a couple rounds with me?
You good?

You ain't ready for Spencie again.

I'm a little 5'7" Jewish guy.

- Come on, let's go.
- All right, all right.

Glove him up. Let's go.

Fuck.

THERESA: Only two texts in two days.

He just needs to get his head straight.

I don't want him coming back home still
thinking there's something better out there.

Letting him leave was the worst thing
you could've done.

Ball players don't need freedom.

They need structure, discipline.

You need to have they junk in your hand

ready to squeeze like you about
to open up a lemonade stand

and they nuts providing the juice.

(LAUGHS) Charles isn't like that.

All those years on the road,

all those groupies and temptation,

he never stepped out on me.

- You sure about that?
- Trust me.

He is on Spencer's couch right now crying
about how much he misses me,

hoping I'll let his ass come home.

(BONG BUBBLING)

WOMAN: (ON TV) Hey, I'm curious.

Did you and Amy ever go out?

(COUGHING)

You see, in trying to teach her how to love...

Why, are you jealous?

...Theo learns about his own self.

How to forgive and move on.

How to heal.

That shit's complex.

(BUBBLING)

And don't even get me started on ScarJo.

That is one talented lady.

Bitch should have been nominated.

Yo.

You hit too much of this Loud?

Dude, if you ain't careful,
this Loud shit can be crazy.

I think my shoes are wet.

(TTD LAUGHS)

Your shoes wet?

Dude, we gotta get you some air.

- Man, let's get you some air.
-(BOTH LAUGHING)

My shoes are wet! (LAUGHING)

We gotta get you some air.

Come on. Let's go.

JASON: That's disgusting.

All right, gentlemen, time's up.

Where's your boy?

Uh, let me go get him.

He's putting on his game face.
He's ready to roll.

-(KNOCK ON DOOR)
- Rick, you all right in there?

RICKY: I ain't doing it! Nope!

(CLEARS THROAT) We already discussed
this. Can't wait another day.

You know what? I changed my mind.

I ain't doing this Oprah shit.

- No fucking way. I'm gonna get crushed.
- Calm down. Listen. Look at me.

You're already getting fucking crushed.

We gotta do this, brother. We gotta do it.

No, no, no. No fucking... I can't do it, man.

Fuck, Miami can cut me.
I'm gonna go work for Charles, man.

- No. No. No.
- Okay, all right.

- No, no. Sit the fuck down.
- No, no, I can't. No!

- Sit the fuck down.
- Wait, wait, wait.

- Fuck this. Fuck this.
- No, no, no. Sit the fuck down.

Sit the fuck down.

Are you fucking kidding me right now?

First, I burn a personal favor with Siefert

to bring you in to play for the Dolphins

because you knocked out
some asshole in the club.

Now I got Jay Glazer out here, who's ready
to do a live exclusive

to repair the damage
that you've already done to your image

after you decided to nail
your teammate's mom.

- No. That was an accident. You know that.
- No, no, no.

But it doesn't matter. lt doesn't matter.

I'm breaking my fucking back for you, Rick.

- This has to happen.
-l'm scared.

What are you scared of?

The end.

You know the end.

Okay. Okay.

(SIGHS)

This ain't the end.

And this interview isn't just about
saving your career.

I'm pissed that the world doesn't know
who the real Ricky Jerret is.

The one who eats huevos rancheros

at El Pub four days a week.

The one who takes his mom
to church on Sundays.

The one who put a complete stranger
through college.

The Ricky Jerret who read
every single Harry Potter book.

- They're underrated.
-(BOTH LAUGH)

- They are.
- They're under-fucking-rated, okay?

The guy who cracks me up all the time.

Why? Because he is who he is at all times.

No bullshit.

No fucking filter.

Just Ricky Jerret.

I want you to go out there, own that shit,

show the world who the real Ricky Jerret is.

(CLUB MUSIC PLAYING)

(CHARLES SINGING ALONG)

Security called.

Your wife blew through the front gate.
She's coming in the house.

What?

(TIRES SQUEAL)

(TIRES SCREECH)

(JULIE CALLING OUT)

Gotta get the fuck up out of here.

JULIE: Charles!

I know your ass is here.

Charles!

Charles!

Charles!

Charles!

What the fuck are you doing?

Hey.

I'm sorry, baby.

I just want to come home. This ain't me.

I swear to God,
I don't even know who you are anymore.

Neither do I.

They got some people in there
smoking weed all day.

- Weed?
- They got this nasty freak room.

- Girls playing with themselves and...
- What?

Yeah. I just want to come home, baby.

Can I come home, please?

This nasty.

- Please?
- Yes. Baby, come on.

- Yeah?
- JULIE: Yes. Come down.

- Yeah?
- JULIE: Come to Mama, baby.

I'll take care of you, baby. Come on.

Oh, baby, I love you. Mmm.

Mmm, I love you.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Damn right your ass is sorry.

It's about time you get back
to who you really are.

Oh, my God!

I'm in the love pond.

Oh, shit! Oh, it got in my mouth.

JAY: All right, Ricky, we have a new season.
With that, you have a new team.

Just finished up OTAs,
so it's really the first time

you've had a chance
to fully be with your new teammates.

- How'd you fit in?
- Like a glove, man.

It's beautiful out there. A lot of love.

- All good, man.
- A lot of love?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay, if it's all love, I'm gonna ask you this...

Excuse me, Jay, but I need to
get something off my chest.

- The floor is yours.
- Thank you, sir.

If we had snipers on the roof,
now would be a good time to take the shot.

I want to sincerely apologize for the trouble

this very brief encounter with, uh,
Miss Cooley caused the fans.

I want to apologize to Mr. Ross,
the entire organization,

you know, uh, my teammates,
and most importantly Alonzo.

I had no idea she was...

- You know, they were family.
- Ah, ah.

- I'm gonna stop you right there.
- Okay.

You've been in this league long
enough to know

that there's only a couple of things that are
truly taboo inside a locker room, right?

- Yeah.
- Okay, that one right there,

that one tops the list.

Well, yeah, I... Listen, I love my mom,

I love my moms.

And if I ever found myself
in Alonzo's position,

I'd have a big problem with it, too.

(LAUGHS) Believe me.

But Alonzo, to his credit, he stood up.

So Alonzo had to step up?

Approached me like a man and
we were able to work it out.

We worked it out like grown-ups.

How are you guys now?

Outstanding. Great.

Brothers-in-arms, man.

You tried to buy Alonzo's number,

the number 18, from him, right? Why?

Well, you know, I wore it in high school
and that was my number in college as well.

JAY: Nobody offers somebody $40,000

just for a number that
you wore in high school and college.

- What's the story?
- I don't know. It's just a number.

That's more than most people
make in a year in this country, right?

What does that number mean to you?

- You want to cut to the chase?
-lt is the only reason I am here.

Well, let's cut to the chase, Jay.

All right, well, this ain't about the number 18.

This about the number 81.

Number 81? How are we on 81?

My father played pro ball.

- He did for about nine years.
- Wait, wait, wait.

All this time you've played,
we've covered you,

this is the first time we're ever hearing
you had a dad who played in the league?

He took off on me and my mom
before I was born.

Doesn't make me a special case, though.

Most guys I know, shoot,
they come from single-parent homes.

But I used to watch him every Sunday on TV.

And emulate his style,
I wanted to be like my father.

Until I got old enough to understand
what he had done, and then I got angry.

Have you ever tried to reach out to him?

Reach out?

(SCOFFS) Did many a times.

He never once accepted a call,

a letter, an email.

Nothing.

(SCOFFS) He chose not to know me.

He chose not to know me
when I won a state title.

He chose not to know me
when I won a national title.

He chose not to know me when I got drafted.

He wanted nothing to do with me
after all of that.

He wanted nothing to do with me.

So this number...

You see it?

This number.

This number represents the man I am
on and off the field.

My dad wore 81.

So I took the number 18 to flip the script.

I swore a long time ago

I'd never take the field wearing a jersey
that didn't say anything

but, "Fuck you, Dad", on the front and back.

We are nothing alike.

Ricky motherfucking Jerret.

JAY: You good?
RICKY: I'm great.

- Was I fair?
- You were and I killed it, so you...

You guys know about the dad?

That I wasn't expecting.

Outstanding. You looked like a movie star.

- So proud of you.
- Just me being me, baby.

Up next, Live with Kelly and Ricky. Come on.

Watch your back, Michael Strahan.

I wouldn't go that far. Let's slow it down.

JASON: I'm gonna call Siefert
and tell him to set his DVR.

- So proud of you.
- RICKY: Thank you. Good idea. Do that.

Bella.

Bella. Bella!

Bella!

Bella. Bella. Bella, it's gonna be different now.

- It's gonna be different now.
-l'm happy for you, Ricky. I really am.

You apologized to everyone but me,
and now I gotta go.

But are you...

I promise it's gonna be different now.

- I gotta go. I gotta go.
- Babe, don't do that.

- I gotta go.
-(TIRES SQUEAL)

-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
-(TIRES SQUEAL)

Shit!

Yeah, I'm not gonna fit in this thing.

Just relax, Mr. Strasmore.

I was sparring with Jay Glazer the other day

and he punched me in the head hard
at least five or ten times.

That's probably gonna
impact the result of this thing.

- We should reschedule.
-lt won't. Just lie down.

Think about nice things.

It'll all be over soon.

What the fuck kind of thing
is that to say to somebody?

I mean the test.

It's funny you mentioned Jay Glazer.

You see the interview
with Ricky Jerret yesterday?

Whew. God damn.

Was it that bad?

TECHNICIAN: lt was that good.

That brother's some boulders on him.

I love that motherfucker. (CHUCKLES)

(SIGHS) Well, what's not to love?

(EXHALES)

(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)