Baby Daddy (2012–2017): Season 5, Episode 8 - Room-Mating - full transcript
All right, Emma, let's see what
kind of adventure today brings.
(blender whirs)
Whoo, ha ha!
Looks like we won't have to go very far.
- What are you doing?
- Oh.
Just making some signature
cocktails for the bar. Yeah.
The Tucktini.
The Tuckarita.
And the Long Island Iced Tuck.
You know, which also
happens to be my rap name.
Thank god I still have
my job bartending for you.
Yeah, about that.
It pains me to see you
give up on your dream job.
Yeah, well, I think I
need to get a new dream.
'Cause it's not like they're
just handing out terrific jobs.
Guess who just got a terrific job!
I just got poached by the best
real estate firm in the city.
Wow, great news!
Bad timing.
But I haven't even
told you the best part.
I get to hire an assistant.
Right now, I'm deciding between
a struggling underwear model,
and that hot Jesus impersonator
who roams Times Square.
Oh my god, what about Tucker?
Tucker would be an amazing assistant.
Mmm, I don't know.
It'd be weird to sexually harass Tucker.
But you'd get to yell at him,
so you'd be getting paid
to do something you love.
Well, as they say in
the real estate biz:
I guess so.
So, what do you say, Tuck?
You wanna be my assistant?
No thank you, all right?
And plus, I already
have a job at the bar
where I'm appreciated and respected.
Tucker, you're fired.
Great. When do I start?
(theme music plays)
♪ It's amazing how the unexpected ♪
♪ Can take your life
and change directions ♪
Hey, man, thanks again
for coming in this morning.
This is the third time Sam's been late.
I swear, if she wasn't so
hot, I'd be really pissed.
No worries.
Sorry I'm moving kinda
slow this morning.
Slept over at Riley's last
night, my neck's killing me.
Slept wrong?
Sure. Let's go with that.
You know, I've been spending
so much time over there lately,
I'm thinking maybe we
should move in together,
but I'm worried it might be
too soon. What do you think?
I think you're not thinking.
You asked her to marry you
before you had your first date,
and you saw how quickly
you regretted that.
Yeah, that was a bad day.
Thanks for the advice, man.
Sorry, sorry, sorry,
I know I am super late.
Oh, no, it's cool.
Oh, and one of
your buttons is...
it was perfect.
I've been commuting from
my parents' house in Jersey.
I could not spend one more
night with my roommate.
When the cat to person
ratio passes five-to-one,
I'm out.
But, if I don't find a new place soon,
I'm gonna have to quit and
find a job closer to home.
Quit?
No, no, no, you can't quit!
There's so much we haven't...
There's just so much we haven't.
Unless you know of an amazing
place for close to no money,
I'm afraid I'm out of here.
I'm out of here!
This is so crazy.
Danny was just telling me
he's moving in with Riley,
and he needs someone to take his room.
Looks like today is
my I... your lucky day!
(phone ringing)
Bonnie Wheeler's office,
Tucker Dobbs speaking.
How may I help you?
Mrs. Wheeler, knock it off!
Ha! I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I just love hearing you say
it. "Bonnie Wheeler's office."
Oh, it's time the world
finally hears about this woman.
Strong, smart, fearless.
(door opening)
Oh, god, it's my boss,
quick, look busy!
Move my 4:00 to 3:00,
Bonnie Wheeler's office, can
you hold for a little bit?
My 3:00 to 1:00, my 1:00 to
2:00, and my 2:00 to 3:00.
Can you hold?
I don't want any free time.
I just want to get out there
- and sell, sell, sell!
- Mmm, I love it, I love it, I love it!
Jumping right in like
the pro I knew you were.
Oh, Luis, I just want to thank
you so much for this opportunity.
No, thank you.
If you trust me, I guarantee
this will be the wildest
ride of your life.
Well, that's funny,
I'm usually the one that says that.
Walk with me, Bonnie.
Okay.
And we're here.
This is it. My baby.
We have the exclusive
rights to all 347 units.
Studios starting at one million dollars.
For a studio?
- Mm-hmm.
- That's insane...
if buyers aren't lining up.
That is why I have you.
All those contacts and famous names
you mentioned during your interview?
You should have no problem.
So many accomplishments,
and still just 32 years old.
Fantastico!
Wow. Ay, caramba!
You don't have any contacts, do you?
Of course I do.
Hey, Dolores, did you hear?
They're giving away free
doughnuts in the break room.
Run, run, run, run, run.
Quick. Copy all the contacts off this,
and then wipe it for fingerprints.
- Hold the elevator.
- Oh.
- Hey.
- Hey. Sorry, Riles.
It's hard for me to move
fast when I've got Emma.
Hey, speaking of moving,
when are you and Danny
planning on moving in together?
Actually, never mind.
He's probably not ready
to give up his room yet.
It's important to have an escape plan.
I'm sorry, an escape what?
Hey, I don't want to get
in the middle of anything,
but you can't really blame him
since you turned down his proposal.
You're obviously not super committed.
Uh, I'm committed, I'm so
committed. How am I not committed?
Oh, okay, so you do
want to move in together?
What? No.
I mean, I haven't even thought about it.
But if I did think
about it, I'd think...
I'd think it was okay.
I think.
Okay, if you don't want to lock it
down with him, that's so your business.
- (elevator dings)
- I'm staying out of it.
Oh, here we are.
See you later, Riles.
I mean, I feel like I'm
pretty committed to this rela...
Oh, god!
And now for my second trick,
I'll be making Danny disappear.
Hey, bro, so I've been
thinking about our conversation,
and you gotta stop worrying about it.
I'm sure Riley's not
having any second thoughts.
Second thoughts. Who said
anything about second thoughts?
Well, you just did, for one.
But hey, it's none of my business.
Though, is it just me,
or is it wrong that she always
demands you stay at her place,
but she's not willing to
let you officially move in?
Nah, I'm sure it's just me.
(elevator dings)
Oh, I think I just heard the elevator.
I wonder if that's her?
I'll be right back.
And to think,
just five seconds ago, I
thought everything was fine.
Pay attention, Emma.
In a couple years you'll be
able to manipulate Danny, too.
Danny: What do you mean
you're having second thoughts?
Riley: I didn't say that!
Now what could that be?
Why don't you want to live with me?
I don't know, maybe we should try it.
- I'd love that!
- So would I!
- So we're gonna live together?
- I guess we are!
- Great!
- Fantastic!
- Should we kiss?
- I think so.
Okay, so here's how it goes,
Sam moves into Danny's room,
Sam falls in love with me,
Sam moves into my room,
you move into Danny's room.
- You got it?
- Yeah.
Yeah, high five. Pound
it. Woogity woogity.
I am exhausted.
600 attempts, and 600 rejections.
It's like my junior high years
before I got these babies.
You know, this is a lot
harder than I thought.
I've only manged to get like, 10 offers.
I'm sorry.
- Did you say...
- 10 units!
♪ 10 units in only one day! ♪
Bonnie Wheeler has just sold 10 units!
That's unbelievable!
The rest of you are all fired.
No, you're not. I love you.
But you could be!
How did you do it?
W... Well,
I... I...
Yeah, I'll tell you how she did it,
she hired an amazing assistant...
who pumped her full of coffee,
so she could sell, sell, sell.
(laughing)
Exactly what he said.
Brilliant. Keep up the good work.
You. You actually are fired.
Oh my god, thank you, Tucker,
for selling and not selling me out.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I need to go into my office,
and figure out how to sell some condos.
Sorry, Dolores.
Doughnuts are for closers.
Sam: I love it. It's perfect.
Are you sure this isn't gonna be weird?
No, not weird at all.
In fact, it allows me to prove
that I'm past the crazy idea that
there was something between us.
There was never anything between us.
Perfect. Then we're on the same page.
Now, I don't know about you,
but this is the time of
night when I like to unwind
- with a glass of wine,
- (Knocking)
and then
maybe I'll...
- Hey, babe!
- Hey, babe.
Hi.
Babe?
Blake, this is my
roomie, Ben. Ben, Blake.
Hey, bro.
You guys are gonna be
seeing a lot of each other.
You have to see my room.
(screaming)
Blake. Bye bye, Sam.
Danny's moving back home.
- Hey.
- Oh, hey, you're home.
Yeah. Yeah, you wanna
know how you find that out?
If you knocked or called
or rang the doorbell.
Really, there are so many choices.
Sorry. Is Danny home?
He left this at our place.
Oh, he's at the gym.
He'll be home any minute.
And you can keep that.
It won't fit here.
It's too, um...
It won't fit here.
Oh, okay.
Okay, so that's what
Danny was talking about.
Uh, I'm sorry, what
was Danny talking about?
Oh, nothing, nothing. No big deal.
Something about walking on egg shells.
The word "intense" may or may
not have been thrown around.
I really can't remember.
But it would be weird not
to have second thoughts
after jumping into something so huge
without really thinking it through.
Ah! I wouldn't worry about it.
Hey, man, early morning workout.
Great idea. Perfect way to
relieve some of that stress.
What stress? There's no stress.
Whoa, calm down, man!
It's okay, I'm your brother.
So what if this move
is too much, too soon.
Too much, too soon? Who said that?
Well, you just did, for one.
Oh, never mind.
I'm sure you won't regret
it for the rest of your life.
Oh, here's your snowboard.
(murmuring frantically)
Oh, hey, Tucker, there you are.
Hey, do I seem jittery to you?
I think I invented something this
morning called "super coffee."
It's a combination of regular coffee and
some pills I found in Dolores's desk.
What is wrong with you?
Wait, have you been here all night?
Yeah. Yeah, I have.
Hey, did you know that people don't
like to be cold-called at 3:00 a.m.?
Yeah, definitely burned some bridges.
But I started calling Japan,
where it's 10:00 a.m. Konichiwa.
And it worked.
And I sold two units.
I mean, I know it's not
your 10, but it's a start.
- It's a start. It's a start.
- Actually it's 11.
I sold another one on the way in.
(phone beeps)
Ooh, make that 12.
Oh, my god.
Of course you did.
Because you are perfect and talented,
and I am just a total nothing
with nowhere to go but down!
Oh my god, don't even look at me!
Oh, god.
(sobbing)
Well, you know...
Mrs. Wheeler, maybe real
estate just isn't your thing?
- Shut up!
- Oh, my god!
Ah, I see what's going on now, huh.
- What?
- This is all a big plan.
Play the mild-mannered
assistant. You know,
"Bonnie Wheeler's office,
how may I steal your business
and destroy your career?"
- Get out!
- I am so gone!
Oh my god, you can't leave me!
I am nothing without you!
Okay, okay!
Okay, okay, we have really got to work on
getting these mood swings under control.
I know. I know. I know, I
know, I know, you're right.
You know, I don't know
what's wrong with me.
Just, last night I just
kept having these visions
of you marching into Luis's office
and telling him that you
sold all those listings
and I'm a complete fraud.
I would never tell him that.
But you just did.
Walk with me, Bonnie.
- Come on.
- I don't wanna.
It's okay.
Well, this just got a little harder.
Hey, roomie.
Um, Sam, I have some bad news.
Things aren't going so
well with Danny and Riley,
and Danny needs his room back.
Really?
Oh, that sucks.
Just got the bathroom
clean enough to use it.
Well, hey, maybe you can stay
at your boyfriend Blake's place?
Though, you are still
welcome to do your yoga here.
Blake's not my boyfriend,
but he would probably
love to be your boyfriend.
I'm not...
Oh, my god.
Gay best friend.
Totally got it. Can you
excuse me for just two seconds?
- Oh, hey, Ben.
- That way, that way, that way!
Hey, what's Sam doing in our place?
Things I've only dreamed of.
What are you doing with all your stuff?
Oh, Riley helped me realize that
we shouldn't move in together yet.
Thank god I still have an old room.
Oh, my god, dude,
do you know anything about women?
She was just testing you to
see if you're really committed.
But I'm totally committed.
Says the guy walking out the door.
Now you get back in there, and you show
her how committed you can be, all right?
Get back in there, tiger.
Okay.
Okay. False alarm.
I think those two crazy
lovebirds are gonna be just fine.
Am I the only one who sees the
wet, naked man in the living room?
This is Ludo.
Now, he is my boyfriend.
'Sup, little guy?
Excuse me for two seconds.
Danny: Well, maybe if you weren't always
testing me like I'm some kind of lab rat,
we could work this out!
We're done!
Oh, oh, we are not done
until I say we're done!
We're done.
You're done?
What have I done?
Danny, wait!
Well that's the fastest
I've ever been fired.
And that includes the job
I got and forgot to go to.
You know what the worst part is?
You don't even care about real
estate, and you're good at it.
I care and I fail.
But this isn't even what
I want to do with my life.
Okay? You know, I still want to
become an entertainment reporter.
Yeah, well, a good time to mention that
might have been when
Luis gave you my job.
Yeah, I might have got
caught up in the moment.
I just wish there was some way
I could get a second chance.
(elevator dings)
Oh, so you're saying you're sorry
you wasted all these months dating me?
No, I'm saying I wasted the last
20 years being in love with you!
Okay, guys, I don't know who put
these crazy thoughts in your head,
but this has to stop.
Danny, come on!
Yeah, just walk away, Wheeler!
I mean, that's what you do best!
Oh, hey, guys, what's up?
Oh, my god, Riley, what happened?
Did you and Danny break up?
Because I have got a
lot on my plate today,
and I cannot be here
to pick up the pieces.
No, we're fine.
Okay, Ben tricked Danny and
me into moving in together
so he could move Sam into your place.
So, we're just teaching
him a little lesson.
Wait, Ben got Sam to move in?
Oh, god, he makes me so proud sometimes.
Okay, I'll see you guys later.
Oh. You're dead to me, Danny Wheeler!
Wait, I think I know
how to get my job back.
Luis overheard us telling the truth.
What if he overheard us again,
only this time, the truth is a lie?
That's dishonest,
disrespectful, and despicable.
- So you're in?
- I thought that was clear.
See, the lights are on.
I told you he works late.
You ready?
What are you doing here, Bonnie Wheeler?
I'm trying to get my job back, remember?
Oh, we're doing it now.
I know what you did, Tucker Dobbs!
You lied about all those sales
just to get my job!
Yes, but Luis will never find out!
I'll destroy him like I destroyed you!
I don't hear anything.
These walls must be really thick.
Maybe we should make
more of a commotion?
Oh. Oh, I can make a commotion.
(grunting)
Allow me.
What are you doing here, Tucker?
I just found out
that you were the
one who... Oh, dammit!
He's not even here.
I should have known
this would never work.
Thank you for trying to help me.
But you know, I think I want to
get my job back the right way.
I just need to tell Luis the truth.
Bonnie, Tucker?
What are you doing here?
Tucker lied about everything!
I tried to stop him!
That works too.
Is this true?
Yup. Yeah, I'm a horrible person.
Tucker, you're fired.
Bonnie, how can I make it up to you?
Walk with me, Luis.
First of all, you really
should fire that Dolores.
She's a bit of a pill-popper.
So, do you think we should
let him off the hook?
I think he's suffered enough.
Oh, that's so sweet that
you want to go easy on him.
Okay, but I want blood.
Just follow my lead.
Lead? What lead?
There you are. Thank you
guys so much for coming.
Why did you call us here?
If he's here, I don't want to be here.
Yeah, if
he's here...
wait, if she's here, I
don't want to be here.
Okay, okay, okay, everyone just needs
to take a deep breath, all right?
You guys cannot break up
over something so silly.
I mean, who even
remember who started it?
I know I don't.
You know, it doesn't
matter how it started.
The point is that it's ended.
Yeah, it's ended.
Or has it?
(guitar music plays)
Danny and Riley, this is your love.
You met on a crisp fall morning
at the kindergarten bus stop.
You were inseparable
during your young years,
your teen years, and
even your awkward years.
Coincidentally, those were all the same.
And plus, if you guys
don't stay together,
these angels will never be born.
Oh, they're so cute.
Kids? Why would I want
to have kids with him?
He is the laziest man
that has ever lived.
Just yesterday,
I asked him to paint the apartment.
But did he?
I'll do it! I'll do it! I love painting!
Yeah. Yeah, well,
what... what about the
fact that he never stops
your family from just
barging in any time?
I mean, does anybody not
have a key to my apartment?
Here's mine! Here's mine.
And I'll get everyone else's, I promise.
Well...
what am I supposed to do about
the issue of his bar schedule?
When he's not playing
hockey, he's working.
I'll cover all of his shifts.
Anything else, please,
guys, just don't break up.
And you're sure you're cool with
living with Sam and her boyfriend?
Oh, my god, the coolest.
Sort of.
So, what do you guys say?
- I mean, sure, that sounds great.
- Okay.
Ready to go home, babe?
- Sounds good to me.
- Okay.
(sighs)
Yes.
Hey, how'd you guys know about Sam?
Damn it!
Who else was in on this?
Hey, wanna join me?
Ah, no, I'm good.
Wouldn't want to get in
the way of you and Ludo.
Actually, Ludo and I just broke up.
I'm so sorry to hear
that. What happened?
He was jealous that I was
living with a cute guy.
But it's okay. He wasn't the one.
So, the one is still
out there somewhere?
We'll see.
(knocking)
That must be my date.
See ya.
(door opens)
(door closes)
(screaming)
kind of adventure today brings.
(blender whirs)
Whoo, ha ha!
Looks like we won't have to go very far.
- What are you doing?
- Oh.
Just making some signature
cocktails for the bar. Yeah.
The Tucktini.
The Tuckarita.
And the Long Island Iced Tuck.
You know, which also
happens to be my rap name.
Thank god I still have
my job bartending for you.
Yeah, about that.
It pains me to see you
give up on your dream job.
Yeah, well, I think I
need to get a new dream.
'Cause it's not like they're
just handing out terrific jobs.
Guess who just got a terrific job!
I just got poached by the best
real estate firm in the city.
Wow, great news!
Bad timing.
But I haven't even
told you the best part.
I get to hire an assistant.
Right now, I'm deciding between
a struggling underwear model,
and that hot Jesus impersonator
who roams Times Square.
Oh my god, what about Tucker?
Tucker would be an amazing assistant.
Mmm, I don't know.
It'd be weird to sexually harass Tucker.
But you'd get to yell at him,
so you'd be getting paid
to do something you love.
Well, as they say in
the real estate biz:
I guess so.
So, what do you say, Tuck?
You wanna be my assistant?
No thank you, all right?
And plus, I already
have a job at the bar
where I'm appreciated and respected.
Tucker, you're fired.
Great. When do I start?
(theme music plays)
♪ It's amazing how the unexpected ♪
♪ Can take your life
and change directions ♪
Hey, man, thanks again
for coming in this morning.
This is the third time Sam's been late.
I swear, if she wasn't so
hot, I'd be really pissed.
No worries.
Sorry I'm moving kinda
slow this morning.
Slept over at Riley's last
night, my neck's killing me.
Slept wrong?
Sure. Let's go with that.
You know, I've been spending
so much time over there lately,
I'm thinking maybe we
should move in together,
but I'm worried it might be
too soon. What do you think?
I think you're not thinking.
You asked her to marry you
before you had your first date,
and you saw how quickly
you regretted that.
Yeah, that was a bad day.
Thanks for the advice, man.
Sorry, sorry, sorry,
I know I am super late.
Oh, no, it's cool.
Oh, and one of
your buttons is...
it was perfect.
I've been commuting from
my parents' house in Jersey.
I could not spend one more
night with my roommate.
When the cat to person
ratio passes five-to-one,
I'm out.
But, if I don't find a new place soon,
I'm gonna have to quit and
find a job closer to home.
Quit?
No, no, no, you can't quit!
There's so much we haven't...
There's just so much we haven't.
Unless you know of an amazing
place for close to no money,
I'm afraid I'm out of here.
I'm out of here!
This is so crazy.
Danny was just telling me
he's moving in with Riley,
and he needs someone to take his room.
Looks like today is
my I... your lucky day!
(phone ringing)
Bonnie Wheeler's office,
Tucker Dobbs speaking.
How may I help you?
Mrs. Wheeler, knock it off!
Ha! I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I just love hearing you say
it. "Bonnie Wheeler's office."
Oh, it's time the world
finally hears about this woman.
Strong, smart, fearless.
(door opening)
Oh, god, it's my boss,
quick, look busy!
Move my 4:00 to 3:00,
Bonnie Wheeler's office, can
you hold for a little bit?
My 3:00 to 1:00, my 1:00 to
2:00, and my 2:00 to 3:00.
Can you hold?
I don't want any free time.
I just want to get out there
- and sell, sell, sell!
- Mmm, I love it, I love it, I love it!
Jumping right in like
the pro I knew you were.
Oh, Luis, I just want to thank
you so much for this opportunity.
No, thank you.
If you trust me, I guarantee
this will be the wildest
ride of your life.
Well, that's funny,
I'm usually the one that says that.
Walk with me, Bonnie.
Okay.
And we're here.
This is it. My baby.
We have the exclusive
rights to all 347 units.
Studios starting at one million dollars.
For a studio?
- Mm-hmm.
- That's insane...
if buyers aren't lining up.
That is why I have you.
All those contacts and famous names
you mentioned during your interview?
You should have no problem.
So many accomplishments,
and still just 32 years old.
Fantastico!
Wow. Ay, caramba!
You don't have any contacts, do you?
Of course I do.
Hey, Dolores, did you hear?
They're giving away free
doughnuts in the break room.
Run, run, run, run, run.
Quick. Copy all the contacts off this,
and then wipe it for fingerprints.
- Hold the elevator.
- Oh.
- Hey.
- Hey. Sorry, Riles.
It's hard for me to move
fast when I've got Emma.
Hey, speaking of moving,
when are you and Danny
planning on moving in together?
Actually, never mind.
He's probably not ready
to give up his room yet.
It's important to have an escape plan.
I'm sorry, an escape what?
Hey, I don't want to get
in the middle of anything,
but you can't really blame him
since you turned down his proposal.
You're obviously not super committed.
Uh, I'm committed, I'm so
committed. How am I not committed?
Oh, okay, so you do
want to move in together?
What? No.
I mean, I haven't even thought about it.
But if I did think
about it, I'd think...
I'd think it was okay.
I think.
Okay, if you don't want to lock it
down with him, that's so your business.
- (elevator dings)
- I'm staying out of it.
Oh, here we are.
See you later, Riles.
I mean, I feel like I'm
pretty committed to this rela...
Oh, god!
And now for my second trick,
I'll be making Danny disappear.
Hey, bro, so I've been
thinking about our conversation,
and you gotta stop worrying about it.
I'm sure Riley's not
having any second thoughts.
Second thoughts. Who said
anything about second thoughts?
Well, you just did, for one.
But hey, it's none of my business.
Though, is it just me,
or is it wrong that she always
demands you stay at her place,
but she's not willing to
let you officially move in?
Nah, I'm sure it's just me.
(elevator dings)
Oh, I think I just heard the elevator.
I wonder if that's her?
I'll be right back.
And to think,
just five seconds ago, I
thought everything was fine.
Pay attention, Emma.
In a couple years you'll be
able to manipulate Danny, too.
Danny: What do you mean
you're having second thoughts?
Riley: I didn't say that!
Now what could that be?
Why don't you want to live with me?
I don't know, maybe we should try it.
- I'd love that!
- So would I!
- So we're gonna live together?
- I guess we are!
- Great!
- Fantastic!
- Should we kiss?
- I think so.
Okay, so here's how it goes,
Sam moves into Danny's room,
Sam falls in love with me,
Sam moves into my room,
you move into Danny's room.
- You got it?
- Yeah.
Yeah, high five. Pound
it. Woogity woogity.
I am exhausted.
600 attempts, and 600 rejections.
It's like my junior high years
before I got these babies.
You know, this is a lot
harder than I thought.
I've only manged to get like, 10 offers.
I'm sorry.
- Did you say...
- 10 units!
♪ 10 units in only one day! ♪
Bonnie Wheeler has just sold 10 units!
That's unbelievable!
The rest of you are all fired.
No, you're not. I love you.
But you could be!
How did you do it?
W... Well,
I... I...
Yeah, I'll tell you how she did it,
she hired an amazing assistant...
who pumped her full of coffee,
so she could sell, sell, sell.
(laughing)
Exactly what he said.
Brilliant. Keep up the good work.
You. You actually are fired.
Oh my god, thank you, Tucker,
for selling and not selling me out.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I need to go into my office,
and figure out how to sell some condos.
Sorry, Dolores.
Doughnuts are for closers.
Sam: I love it. It's perfect.
Are you sure this isn't gonna be weird?
No, not weird at all.
In fact, it allows me to prove
that I'm past the crazy idea that
there was something between us.
There was never anything between us.
Perfect. Then we're on the same page.
Now, I don't know about you,
but this is the time of
night when I like to unwind
- with a glass of wine,
- (Knocking)
and then
maybe I'll...
- Hey, babe!
- Hey, babe.
Hi.
Babe?
Blake, this is my
roomie, Ben. Ben, Blake.
Hey, bro.
You guys are gonna be
seeing a lot of each other.
You have to see my room.
(screaming)
Blake. Bye bye, Sam.
Danny's moving back home.
- Hey.
- Oh, hey, you're home.
Yeah. Yeah, you wanna
know how you find that out?
If you knocked or called
or rang the doorbell.
Really, there are so many choices.
Sorry. Is Danny home?
He left this at our place.
Oh, he's at the gym.
He'll be home any minute.
And you can keep that.
It won't fit here.
It's too, um...
It won't fit here.
Oh, okay.
Okay, so that's what
Danny was talking about.
Uh, I'm sorry, what
was Danny talking about?
Oh, nothing, nothing. No big deal.
Something about walking on egg shells.
The word "intense" may or may
not have been thrown around.
I really can't remember.
But it would be weird not
to have second thoughts
after jumping into something so huge
without really thinking it through.
Ah! I wouldn't worry about it.
Hey, man, early morning workout.
Great idea. Perfect way to
relieve some of that stress.
What stress? There's no stress.
Whoa, calm down, man!
It's okay, I'm your brother.
So what if this move
is too much, too soon.
Too much, too soon? Who said that?
Well, you just did, for one.
Oh, never mind.
I'm sure you won't regret
it for the rest of your life.
Oh, here's your snowboard.
(murmuring frantically)
Oh, hey, Tucker, there you are.
Hey, do I seem jittery to you?
I think I invented something this
morning called "super coffee."
It's a combination of regular coffee and
some pills I found in Dolores's desk.
What is wrong with you?
Wait, have you been here all night?
Yeah. Yeah, I have.
Hey, did you know that people don't
like to be cold-called at 3:00 a.m.?
Yeah, definitely burned some bridges.
But I started calling Japan,
where it's 10:00 a.m. Konichiwa.
And it worked.
And I sold two units.
I mean, I know it's not
your 10, but it's a start.
- It's a start. It's a start.
- Actually it's 11.
I sold another one on the way in.
(phone beeps)
Ooh, make that 12.
Oh, my god.
Of course you did.
Because you are perfect and talented,
and I am just a total nothing
with nowhere to go but down!
Oh my god, don't even look at me!
Oh, god.
(sobbing)
Well, you know...
Mrs. Wheeler, maybe real
estate just isn't your thing?
- Shut up!
- Oh, my god!
Ah, I see what's going on now, huh.
- What?
- This is all a big plan.
Play the mild-mannered
assistant. You know,
"Bonnie Wheeler's office,
how may I steal your business
and destroy your career?"
- Get out!
- I am so gone!
Oh my god, you can't leave me!
I am nothing without you!
Okay, okay!
Okay, okay, we have really got to work on
getting these mood swings under control.
I know. I know. I know, I
know, I know, you're right.
You know, I don't know
what's wrong with me.
Just, last night I just
kept having these visions
of you marching into Luis's office
and telling him that you
sold all those listings
and I'm a complete fraud.
I would never tell him that.
But you just did.
Walk with me, Bonnie.
- Come on.
- I don't wanna.
It's okay.
Well, this just got a little harder.
Hey, roomie.
Um, Sam, I have some bad news.
Things aren't going so
well with Danny and Riley,
and Danny needs his room back.
Really?
Oh, that sucks.
Just got the bathroom
clean enough to use it.
Well, hey, maybe you can stay
at your boyfriend Blake's place?
Though, you are still
welcome to do your yoga here.
Blake's not my boyfriend,
but he would probably
love to be your boyfriend.
I'm not...
Oh, my god.
Gay best friend.
Totally got it. Can you
excuse me for just two seconds?
- Oh, hey, Ben.
- That way, that way, that way!
Hey, what's Sam doing in our place?
Things I've only dreamed of.
What are you doing with all your stuff?
Oh, Riley helped me realize that
we shouldn't move in together yet.
Thank god I still have an old room.
Oh, my god, dude,
do you know anything about women?
She was just testing you to
see if you're really committed.
But I'm totally committed.
Says the guy walking out the door.
Now you get back in there, and you show
her how committed you can be, all right?
Get back in there, tiger.
Okay.
Okay. False alarm.
I think those two crazy
lovebirds are gonna be just fine.
Am I the only one who sees the
wet, naked man in the living room?
This is Ludo.
Now, he is my boyfriend.
'Sup, little guy?
Excuse me for two seconds.
Danny: Well, maybe if you weren't always
testing me like I'm some kind of lab rat,
we could work this out!
We're done!
Oh, oh, we are not done
until I say we're done!
We're done.
You're done?
What have I done?
Danny, wait!
Well that's the fastest
I've ever been fired.
And that includes the job
I got and forgot to go to.
You know what the worst part is?
You don't even care about real
estate, and you're good at it.
I care and I fail.
But this isn't even what
I want to do with my life.
Okay? You know, I still want to
become an entertainment reporter.
Yeah, well, a good time to mention that
might have been when
Luis gave you my job.
Yeah, I might have got
caught up in the moment.
I just wish there was some way
I could get a second chance.
(elevator dings)
Oh, so you're saying you're sorry
you wasted all these months dating me?
No, I'm saying I wasted the last
20 years being in love with you!
Okay, guys, I don't know who put
these crazy thoughts in your head,
but this has to stop.
Danny, come on!
Yeah, just walk away, Wheeler!
I mean, that's what you do best!
Oh, hey, guys, what's up?
Oh, my god, Riley, what happened?
Did you and Danny break up?
Because I have got a
lot on my plate today,
and I cannot be here
to pick up the pieces.
No, we're fine.
Okay, Ben tricked Danny and
me into moving in together
so he could move Sam into your place.
So, we're just teaching
him a little lesson.
Wait, Ben got Sam to move in?
Oh, god, he makes me so proud sometimes.
Okay, I'll see you guys later.
Oh. You're dead to me, Danny Wheeler!
Wait, I think I know
how to get my job back.
Luis overheard us telling the truth.
What if he overheard us again,
only this time, the truth is a lie?
That's dishonest,
disrespectful, and despicable.
- So you're in?
- I thought that was clear.
See, the lights are on.
I told you he works late.
You ready?
What are you doing here, Bonnie Wheeler?
I'm trying to get my job back, remember?
Oh, we're doing it now.
I know what you did, Tucker Dobbs!
You lied about all those sales
just to get my job!
Yes, but Luis will never find out!
I'll destroy him like I destroyed you!
I don't hear anything.
These walls must be really thick.
Maybe we should make
more of a commotion?
Oh. Oh, I can make a commotion.
(grunting)
Allow me.
What are you doing here, Tucker?
I just found out
that you were the
one who... Oh, dammit!
He's not even here.
I should have known
this would never work.
Thank you for trying to help me.
But you know, I think I want to
get my job back the right way.
I just need to tell Luis the truth.
Bonnie, Tucker?
What are you doing here?
Tucker lied about everything!
I tried to stop him!
That works too.
Is this true?
Yup. Yeah, I'm a horrible person.
Tucker, you're fired.
Bonnie, how can I make it up to you?
Walk with me, Luis.
First of all, you really
should fire that Dolores.
She's a bit of a pill-popper.
So, do you think we should
let him off the hook?
I think he's suffered enough.
Oh, that's so sweet that
you want to go easy on him.
Okay, but I want blood.
Just follow my lead.
Lead? What lead?
There you are. Thank you
guys so much for coming.
Why did you call us here?
If he's here, I don't want to be here.
Yeah, if
he's here...
wait, if she's here, I
don't want to be here.
Okay, okay, okay, everyone just needs
to take a deep breath, all right?
You guys cannot break up
over something so silly.
I mean, who even
remember who started it?
I know I don't.
You know, it doesn't
matter how it started.
The point is that it's ended.
Yeah, it's ended.
Or has it?
(guitar music plays)
Danny and Riley, this is your love.
You met on a crisp fall morning
at the kindergarten bus stop.
You were inseparable
during your young years,
your teen years, and
even your awkward years.
Coincidentally, those were all the same.
And plus, if you guys
don't stay together,
these angels will never be born.
Oh, they're so cute.
Kids? Why would I want
to have kids with him?
He is the laziest man
that has ever lived.
Just yesterday,
I asked him to paint the apartment.
But did he?
I'll do it! I'll do it! I love painting!
Yeah. Yeah, well,
what... what about the
fact that he never stops
your family from just
barging in any time?
I mean, does anybody not
have a key to my apartment?
Here's mine! Here's mine.
And I'll get everyone else's, I promise.
Well...
what am I supposed to do about
the issue of his bar schedule?
When he's not playing
hockey, he's working.
I'll cover all of his shifts.
Anything else, please,
guys, just don't break up.
And you're sure you're cool with
living with Sam and her boyfriend?
Oh, my god, the coolest.
Sort of.
So, what do you guys say?
- I mean, sure, that sounds great.
- Okay.
Ready to go home, babe?
- Sounds good to me.
- Okay.
(sighs)
Yes.
Hey, how'd you guys know about Sam?
Damn it!
Who else was in on this?
Hey, wanna join me?
Ah, no, I'm good.
Wouldn't want to get in
the way of you and Ludo.
Actually, Ludo and I just broke up.
I'm so sorry to hear
that. What happened?
He was jealous that I was
living with a cute guy.
But it's okay. He wasn't the one.
So, the one is still
out there somewhere?
We'll see.
(knocking)
That must be my date.
See ya.
(door opens)
(door closes)
(screaming)