B Positive (2020–…): Season 2, Episode 12 - Dagobah, a Room and a Chimney Sweep - full transcript

Previously onB Positive...Meredith.

Oh, my God.

Is everything okay?

Call 911.

How is she?

She's gone.

Sorry you had to
cut your trip short.

Oh, it's okay.

Things weren't going that great.

Oh, why not?

Well, I met a woman.



We got drunk and, uh...

you know.

No, I don't know.

Come on. You know.

I don't know. Tell me.

We had intimate relations.

Which I was led to believe
were mutually satisfying.

However, upon my awakening,
I discovered she had robbed me.

Oh, no.

Look at us.

Out on the open road,

seeing the beautiful sights

of this great land of ours.Yeah.

That's a lovely Costco.



You need to take I-90.Uh, no.

Actually, we're gonna
take the I-95 South

to the Florida Keys.

Yeah, I've always wanted
to see Hemingway's house

and eat an authentic Cubano.

BT-dubs,
that's a ham sandwich...

I know what it is....with cheese and pickles.

Then we'll
head up the Gulf Coast,

and make our way west
to the Grand Tetons.

What you're about to see is
the future of Valley Hills.

Isn't this the room where
Knudsen croaked on the crapper?

Yeah, that's why we are
focusing on the future.Wait.

Someone died in that room?NORMA: Oh, please.

Show me a room in this place
where someone hasn't died.

Forget about the dead people.

Well, remember them
in your hearts, always.

Okay, now...

Bette?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God,
this is beautiful.

Anyone would be lucky
to die here.

I can see myself
lying there,

getting CPR as
I go towards the light.

Oh, and look at the view.

I'd love that to be
the last thing I see.

I'd love for you to be
the last thing I see.

That's fine, as long as
you're on the bottom.

Check this out.
Alexa, lights on.

Alexa, party lights on.

Oh, I feel like I'm
back at Studio 54

making out with
Liza Minnelli.

Alexa, normal lights.

And get that image
out of my head.

Alexa, tell the CIA agent
listening

I am a sovereign citizen.

And there's a steam shower
and a heated floor.

Oh, hey.

Bert, what are you doing?

Not living here,
that's for sure.

How exciting is this, huh?

We finally get to see
the Grand Tetons.

Which, in French,
means giant boobs. Ha!

Talk about a settler
with mommy issues.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, come on.
After thousands of miles,

we're almost there.

Yay.

Well, I know which one of us
wasn't a cheer captain.

Oh, scenic turnout,
35 miles.

Yay.

You were right, kid.
This is incredible.

Meh.

I heard you showed everyone
the new room.

Yeah, they loved it.

I bet they did.

Why are you laughing?You'll see.

Gabby, tell me.

If I do that it'll
spoil all the fun.

Gina, got a second?Yeah, sure. What's up?

That new room,
who's gonna get it?

And so it begins.

Well, I was planning on
showing it

to prospective residents.
You know,

sort of like a model home.

Oh, so you're giving it to
a total stranger?

Someone who's not like
a mother to you?

Sure, that's a better way
to go.

Well, Norma, what would
you suggest?

I'm just thinking out loud,
but what if I got it?

Yeah, I guess so.

I don't see any problem
with that.
Really?

No problems?

Don't you have
somewhere to go?

I'm actually done for the day.

I'm just sticking around
to watch the show.

You busy?

No. What's up?

Bette needs the key card
for the new room

so she can move in.

The heated floor will be perfect
for my hot yoga.

You should try that
with me, Althea.

Honey, what about me says yoga?

I am so sorry, but I already
promised that room to Norma.

But I'm at the top
of the list.What list?

There's a waiting list for
people who want to move rooms.

Nobody told me there's
a waiting list.

There's a waiting list.

Hello.

Hey, what you up to?

I'm looking at doormats
for my new room.

I like this one.
It says:

"Could this visit be a text?"

Yeah, about that.

Um, turns out there is
a waiting list

for people who want to
change rooms.

So it's supposed to
go to Bette.

I see.

And is Bette who you go to

when you have
a personal problem?

You don't. You go
to me, don't you?

Yeah. I do.Yeah.

I guess that doesn't matter

because of some list.

Okay, I-I will try
to figure this out.

Just remember,
whatever you decide,

I want you to know
I love you

as if you were
my own daughter.

Aww...

Get it now?

It's like the ice planet Hoth
out there.

You know, Star Wars.Hmm.

You made me watch
those stupid movies.

I'd like some credit
for using the terms, okay?

Sorry, I'm just a little bit
in my head.

Like Luke before he goes to
Dagobah to train with Yoda.

All right, maybe we should
pull over

and put chains on the tires.

I didn't buy chains.Why didn't you buy chains?

Well, the box was very heavy.

Plus, the guy said these were
all-weather tires,

and this is weather.All right.

Maybe we should find someplace
to wait this out.

We'll be fine.

If I start praying,
will it make you nervous?

Funny.

Whoa.

Our Father who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come,
thy will be done...

Yeah?

Hey, there's my MeToo hottie.

I don't think you're
using that term right,

but come on in, sit down.

Thanks.

I wanted to talk to you about
getting that new room.

Oh! Did Gabby send you?

What? No.

I've just been here longer
than anybody else.

Well, are you on the list?

I didn't know about the list.

Well, there is a list.Okay.

I get it.
Well, do what you can.

I just like the way that toilet
lights up in the dark.

Comes in handy when you gotta
whiz 14 times a night.

TMI.

No, I talked to a urologist.
It's my prostate.

Size of a grapefruit.

Not now, Gabby!

I love this quiet time.

Just the two of us sitting
and reading together.

Yeah, it's nice.

Could I ask you a favor?Of course.

Could you talk to Gina
and tell her that

I should get the new room?

Oh, wow, I literally
just told her that I wanted it.

You? Why would you want it?

What, I can't have nice things?

Well, judging from
your outfit, no.

Anyhow, I'm at the top
of the list.

Well, I have seniority.

But I'm your girlfriend.

You are?

Well, we hung out together

every night this week,

we held hands at movie night.

That means something.

Wow, I got a girlfriend.

And you want this to
continue, right?

Uh, yeah.

Then you'll talk to Gina
about me getting that room.

So you get what you want,

and I don't get
what I want...

Yeah, I got a girlfriend.

It's a mess out there.

So, do you want to play
rock, paper, scissors

to see who eats who?Mm.

What's with you, kid?

I'm sorry, I'm just
a bit tired.

Well, you know me.
I don't mind the quiet.

I feel so lost.

So we're not doing
the quiet thing.

Well, I thought seeing
the Grand Tetons

would be transformational,

but it turns out
they're just mountains.

Are you kidding?
You just saw

one of America's wonders;
it was gorgeous.

I guess.

Well, that's what
you set out to do.Yeah.

And I have done it,
and it was a huge letdown.

Damn it, it's
freezing in here.Yeah.

Oh, great,
it's blowing cold air.

Oh...

We don't have
hot water, either.

Great, we must be out
of propane.

Well, we can run the engine
and pull the heat off there.

We don't have enough gas
to last all night.

We're in a blizzard
in the middle of nowhere.

This is how I die.

A grizzly is gonna eat
Gina's kidney.Relax, relax.

It's not even grizz season.

My dad was right.
I never should have

quit Boy Scouts for gymnastics.

Okay, the way I see it,
we have two options.

We either freeze to death,

or we climb into a sleeping bag
and cuddle for warmth.

Looks like we're gonna die.

So, Jerry, you ever think
about dating again,

getting back on the horse?

Sure, I'd love to
meet somebody.

What would you say if I had
the perfect gal for you?

I'd say great, set it up.

I will. I just need
a little favor...

Done!

Come with me.

Hold on,
I unbuttoned my pants.

Spencer has something
to tell you.Oh.

Uh, okay.Yeah.

As a former police officer,

I know the importance of rules.

And therefore we should
respect the list

and give the new room
to Bette.

Otherwise we're no better
than North Korea, or California.

Well, I guess the list
is hard to argue with.

All the greats were
guided by lists.

Santa.

Schindler.

Craig.

I trust you'll do
the right thing.

FYI, I still want the room
for myself.

But you just said...

I know what I said.
Work with me.

Sorry to bother you, but

have you made a decision
about the room yet?

Oh, for God sakes,
not you, too!

Oh, no, not for me,
for Norma.

She sent you?

Excuse me, just getting
a cup of joe.

Hello? Anybody?

No one's here.
We have to break in.

What? No. I've never
broken the law in my life.

You've never frozen
to death before either.

Now, which new fun thing
would you like to try tonight?

Okay, but we leave it cleaner
than we found it.

You're doing a bad thing,
but you're not a bad person.

Look at this.
The key was under the mat.

Great.

Oh, no. Power's out.

Oh, hello, deer.

All right, you try
to start a fire,

I'll see if the stove
is working.Surely.

: Ooh, blimey!
This chimney's covered

in more soot than
a Liverpool pigeon.

That's my chimney sweep
character.

Stove's not working,

but I found us some provisions.

Oh, hot cocoa?

Whiskey.

Aww.

Attention! Hello, everybody.

I have made a decision
about the new room.

Sorry, loser.

I put your names
in this hat,

and whoever is picked
gets the room.

You've rigged it so
you can pick your favorite.

Damn right she has.
When do I move in?

Bert is gonna do it,
and he can't cheat,

because he doesn't know
any of your names.

What's my name?

You're dressing on the side.

Just pick a name.

There's no mousetrap
in there, right?

I should get the room.

I just had major surgery.

We've all had major surgery.

Vaginal rejuvenation
doesn't count.

The democratic thing
would be to vote.

I agree.Me, too.

That's not what
we're gonna do.

I vote for myself.What?!

Give the room to Norma.

I haven't touched a woman

in over four years.

I've been here
the longest.

We all want it.I'm next on the list.

Over my dead body.I can wait a week.

I'm so lonely.

Shut up! Shut up, shut up,
shut up, shut up, shut up!

You're all acting like
spoiled brats, so,

so no one gets the room!

Gina.What?!

Have a great night.

Mmm.

This is some decent hooch.

I prefer a hard seltzer,
but yes.

Listen, thanks for letting me
hijack your trip.

Are you kidding me?
It was my pleasure.

Thanks to you I now know that
premium gasoline is

nothing but a scam.

Thanks to you I found out that
Sudafed is effective,

but Zyrtec lasts longer.

Oh, well, on the way home
I will give you the scoop

on Prilosec versus Pepcid AC.

You, sir, will be blown away.

Seriously,
if it wasn't for you,

I'd be sitting at home
thinking about Meredith.

Oh, well, I'm happy
I could be there for you.

Tell me,

what was going on with you
back there at the Tetons, hmm?

Oh, it was nothing.

Let's just drink.Eh. Aw,
come on. I...

I actually want to talk.

You should take advantage
of that. Come on.

I guess this trip

hasn't changed me
the way I hoped it would.

It absolutely has changed you.

No, it hasn't.

Come on. Really?

In the last month,

you sold your house

to buy a camper van

and travel the country.

You learned how to--
how to fix an engine.

You drove through a blizzard

and broke into a cabin.

Yeah, I did, didn't I?

And what happened to you
the-the first night on the road?

I met a woman and got robbed.

Of your virginity.

No, I believe
that was to your mama.

Ooh.

Sorry. Schoolyard reflex.

Kid, I bet you've done
more living in the last month

than you have
in the last ten years.

Well, maybe you're right.

Maybe I have changed.

And you're just getting started.

Do you realize
how many people

would kill
to trade places with you?

50 years old, with
your whole life ahead of you.

I'm 35.

Really?

Sheesh.

Sign here.

And here.

Initial here.

Uh, sign.

Sign.

That one, too.

Uh, and initial.

I'm afraid to ask
what I'm signing.

That's what
I'm counting on.

Can we talk?

Oh, God. The room again?

No, I don'twant it.Neither do I.

I'm good where I am.

You were right.

We were being selfish.

We all talked
about it, and...

there's really only one person
who deserves the room

and that's Harry.

Ooh. Plot twist.

Why Harry?

We know how hard it
is to lose a spouse.

Yeah, we can't
let him go back

to the room he shared
with Meredith.

Too many memories.GIDEON:
Oh.

Plot twist with
a tear in my eye.

That is...

so...

so nice of you guys.

I feel like a proud mom

with four kids
who are somehow older than me.

And once you renovate Harry's
room, we can consult the list.

Or you give it to
your closest friend.

Or you give it to me.

Ooh. Or Bette.
Just give it to Bette.

I'm so sorry.

I want to have
this conversation,

but, um, I just need
a moment.

She's not coming
back, is she?

Doesn't look like it.GIDEON:Yeah,

she's getting in her car.

Hey, party peeps.
You miss us?

Oh, my God!Harry!

Hey!

How you doing?
How are ya?Harry!

I missed you!

Oh, thank you.

Oh, did you, uh...

did you meet
any new van chicks?

Funny how that's
your first question.

It's not funny.Oh, it's funny.

Now that you're here, we
have a surprise for you.Oh.

What is this?

It's your new room.

We knew it would be

too hard for you
to go back to your old room.

We thought you might enjoy
a change of scenery.

Well, I...

I-I don't know what to say.

Try "thank you."

Thank you.

All of you.
This-this...

means a lot to me.

It's too bright.