BH90210 (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 6 - The Long Wait - full transcript
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- I love you, David.
- Previously on "BH90210"...
Are you jealous? We dated for, like,
five minutes, 20 years ago.
When you were working together.
And now you're working together again.
- Jennie's bodyguard, right?
- Yes, he is.
I would like to introduce Zach, my son.
I haven't even told anybody yet.
- Told anybody what?
- She's gay.
I like hanging out with you.
I'm thinking about leaving Camille.
Don't think I can raise
another man's kid.
Camille, she's in an ambulance.
- Honey, I'll be right there.
- I had a private investigator
look into him, too.
That's weird. He said
that we had never met.
Hello, Steve.
Gone through a lot of
trouble to get here...
In fact, I've jumped through time...
To give you some very
important advice...
I know that's weird. I'm sorry.
But you got to cut that hair.
It's got to go. Having a mullet
is no way to go through life.
Two: belly shirts, midriff
shirts, anything like that...
Burn 'em. You find them in
your closet, get rid of them.
Never ever wear them again.
Three... perhaps the most
important thing of all...
The legacy key.
You never paid it forward.
Now's the time, Steve.
Do you understand what I'm
saying? Is this getting through?
I'm talking about your legacy.
- My legacy?
- Our legacy.
Party time.
Did you guys think we'd make it
- to the wrap party and still be...
- Alive? No.
I'm just really proud of us.
Oh, I can't wait to see
it all cut together.
Do you remember when we
filmed the original pilot?
Uh, no, but I remember the wrap party.
Oh, my God. That wrap party was epic.
It was at Chasen's.
I followed you into the
kitchen and held your hair
while you cry-barfed
into a pot of chili.
- Oh.
- Okay. It was not a pot of chili.
- It was a garbage can.
- It was a pot of chili.
Okay, can we stop talking about it?
- Sorry.
- Because I really want some food
- at the party tonight.
- Hey, everybody.
Somehow, we made it this far, you guys.
But that was the easy part.
Now we get to sit around
- and wait and see if we get picked up.
- Oh, that's a formality, right?
I mean, it's the reboot
of 90210. No brainer.
I don't know. That O.C.
reboot came in pretty great.
And we can't air every show we make.
What are you talking about?
The O.C. did a reboot?
O-Okay. Do any of you read any news
except Google Alerts about yourselves?
Come on, Christine. The O.C.
was a rip-off of 90210.
We were often imitated,
but never duplicated.
That may be, but Mischa
Barton is tweeting up a storm.
And... she comes back from the dead.
- Who's gonna believe that?
- Look, guys,
try and enjoy yourselves, okay?
And with any luck, in a few weeks,
we'll be in New York
celebrating the pickup.
Otherwise, I'll be in New York
with the cast of The O.C.,
and you guys will be here,
licking your wounds.
- Here's to season one.
- Cheers.
♪ I can hear them talking ♪
I can't believe us getting
picked up is even a question.
Well, you never know,
so you better not spend
all your pilot money.
Too late.
Wait, what did you just say?
Did you already spend all your money?
Not spend.
It got garnished for back taxes.
Oh, Tor. Again?
Remember when "garnish" was a fun word?
It was, like, that
little sprig of parsley
on your dinner plate?
It was really good for your breath.
- We should bring that back.
- Is Nate gonna get a job, or what?
Ugh, why do you always
have to talk about me?
- I...
- What's going on with Chris?
We're still trying to figure things out.
Well, I hope you guys
do. He's a great guy.
Yeah, he is. Look, I'm not gonna
throw away 30 years of marriage
for... you know, new discoveries.
- What?
- D... W-Wait.
- No.
- What is... She? What is happening?
- Christine Elise?
- No
- Yes.
- Oh, my God.
The consent waiver.
- Now it all makes sense.
- Everything.
Wait a second... does Jason know?
Yes, he knows, and I'm just trying to,
I don't know, let things happen
and not control everything.
- Not control?
- Oh, that's gonna be hard for you.
I had to get a new bite
guard from the dentist.
I already chewed through one.
- Hi.
- Stop looking at her.
- She looked at me.
- Thanks.
- Scotch on the rocks. Hey, man.
- Hey.
I-I feel so lucky to be here.
- Yeah? You do?
- You've been so cool to me, and...
I know it's-it's caused
some things with Shay.
No, it has not.
Then why isn't she here?
You think she's not here because of you?
I don't know. I mean, she-she
obviously doesn't like me.
- You know, or trust me.
- No, stop it.
Zach, don't take it so personally.
She's guarded because she has to be.
- Yeah, okay.
- This is my thing.
And she knows that if she comes here,
then it'll become her thing.
You mean, like, she sucks
the oxygen out of the room?
She here? That's exactly what I mean.
Yeah, totally...
I'll talk to you guys later.
- Hey, baby.
- Ugh, Mom.
- Would you not do that?
- Oh, come on.
We finished the pilot.
- Your first acting gig.
- Yeah, if my one line
- doesn't get cut.
- You know what?
It doesn't all come at once.
You got to be patient.
Yeah, but I didn't sign on
to this to be a day player.
Uh, you didn't really
"sign on" to this at all.
This is kind of something I did for you
to support you wanting to be an actress.
Right. Yeah, that makes
me feel so much better.
Thanks.
You're welcome.
Hey, Ian.
A Z with the criminal B.
- B.
- What's up, man?
Where's, uh, where's Anna?
She doesn't want to date.
She's only interested
- in the NSA thing.
- NSA.
No strings attached? That's awesome.
That's, like, the mother
lode of the dating world.
- Except you can't say "dating".
- I have so many strings
I'm like a frigging marionette.
I'm ready for some strings.
I'm ready for a family. I've been ready.
I thought it was happening, but...
I like Anna.
There's something about her.
I know it doesn't make sense
- on paper, but...
- Mm-mmm.
If she'd only give me a
chance to get to know her.
You know her.
Oh, shut up. I'm not talking about sex.
- I can have sex whenever I want.
- Please. Really? Still?
Look, your mom did the
best that she could
just getting you on the show.
She can't help how many lines you got.
It's just so aggravating, you know?
Sitting there for all those
hours, waiting for one line.
Yes, I did notice all the eye-rolling
and the side-eyes to your mom.
I did not.
Ky.
Listen, it's called paying your dues.
All right? I did it.
- Everybody's done it.
- Did my mom give side-eye?
I'm not telling you any
stories, but it's a nice try.
What do you mean, stories?
Speaking of stories, there was one...
Did she tell you about the
one with the red dress?
- She did not.
- She did not.
- What red dress?
- There was a photo shoot
and all the girls showed up wearing red.
- I don't remember. It sounds
- It was awesome. I-I'm sure
- you don't remember it,
- vaguely familiar,
- but I don't think so.
- But it was-it was amaz...
It was like World War III.
The-the blowback lasted
- for about two weeks on set.
- Oh, yeah,
that sounds vaguely familiar...
- Uh, what are you guys talking about?
- Talking about
the red dress story.
- Remember that?
- Mom, you've never told me
any of these stories.
Uh, probably because they didn't
happen, or I blocked them out.
Doesn't matter. You guys have fun.
Okay.
You remember this story, right?
- Hey.
- Hey. Where's Kyler?
Oh, she's over there hanging
out with her new BFF Shannen.
- Well, that's good, right?
- It would be,
if she ever actually spoke to me, too.
She is speaking to you, Jen.
Two words. Three at the
most, if she's criticizing me.
Eh, she's a 17-year-old
kid. She's doing her job.
She's really good at it.
- Good things to look forward to.
- Yeah. Right.
- You guys are in for it.
- Times six.
Should have never put her in the show.
If this thing gets picked up,
she's gonna turn into a monster.
Look what it did to us.
Speak for yourself.
I was.
When did babysitters get so expensive?
- What a day, huh?
- Yeah.
How about tonight?
Oh, wait, babe.
Let me check on the kids.
Babe?
- What's that?
- I think the power went out.
Wait. Sorry.
Did you pay the bill?
Yeah, I'm pretty sure.
Uh, you're pretty sure?
Yes, I did.
I think. I... Look, I-I don't know.
There's so much going
on around the house,
and you're never here.
Wait, i-is this somehow my fault?
I'm just saying that
I could use some help.
Oh...
Yeah, I could use some help, too.
I'm gonna check on the kids. Ow. Ow.
_
Oh, my God, maybe it's
the network calling.
Ooh, great.
Hello?
Have you considered debt consolidation?
No, I don't want to consolidate
my debt, but thank you.
You know you can block them, right?
- You can do that?
- Mm-hmm.
It's so frustrating, waiting.
I just wish they would tell us.
- Why?
- Tori, it's only been three weeks.
You have to sit down.
You are stressing me out.
What days are you working
- the Peach Pit pop-up?
- Oh, no.
Mm-mmm. I'm all Peach Pitted out.
Really? Do you think that's
what Mischa Barton said
when they asked her to
do the Bait Shop pop-up?
- No.
- I follow her.
She has been there for 48
hours straight, grilling tilapia.
Ooh. She's not gonna be able to
get that smell out of her hair.
- Mm.
- You know what, we did a pilot...
Maybe that's enough.
Can you imagine doing a
whole series of that show?
- Mm-hmm.
- Having Jason direct us all the time.
Oh, please. I love when you
pretend to be put off by Jason.
- Okay. Don't do that.
- Hm?
Don't try to see something
that's not really there.
- Uh-huh.
- Wyatt and I are fine.
- Perfect.
- Ooh. You're annoying me now.
Oh, thank God you're back.
Aunt Tori, your kid is cute and all,
but she did not want to go to sleep.
And I had to change her dirty diapers,
which, I'm sorry, is just kind of gross.
You know how many dirty
diapers I changed of yours?
Yeah, I get it, Mom. I'm deadweight.
Ky, thank you so much.
You are a lifesaver.
Of course. How did the appointment
go with the plastic surgeon?
- We call it "dermatologist".
- Mm.
Well, maybe one day, society
will stop idolizing youth
and embrace a more
plural form of beauty.
Where did that come from?
- Shannen's Instagram.
- Oh.
- Positive affirmations?
- Whatever, Mom.
See you at home.
Hey.
Hey.
So there's something I
need to talk to you about,
and I need you to hear me,
and I need you to know
that this is coming from
a place of loving you
and protecting you.
Sounds really serious.
Uh, I'm all ears.
It's about Zach, Brian.
He's not your son.
I had my investigator do a DNA test.
I am so sorry.
So you collected evidence?
Brian, I had my suspicions all along.
You went behind my back
and you collected evidence?
I don't even know who the
hell are you right now.
I'm your wife, Brian. And
Zach's been lying to you.
- He's been to us this entire time.
- You just couldn't
leave well enough alone.
This is about protecting
our family, Bri.
You couldn't let me have this
because you couldn't control this.
That is really unfair.
And this is really fair?
Bri.
Hi, Christine. It's Tori.
I'm just checking in.
Have you seen the lines
at the Peach Pit pop-up?
We are sold out.
Impressive stunt, Spelling,
but The O.C.'s Bait Shop
pop-up is off the hook, too.
Yeah, yeah. Good for them.
You know we were first.
Well, there are at least four
slots on the fall schedule, so...
- Do we get one?
- I can't say.
We're still getting all
the audience testing in.
How do you do your testing?
The same way all consumer
products are tested:
we give 40 randos 50 bucks apiece
for their expert non-expert opinion.
It's an inexact science.
Actually, it's total crap, but at least
we don't have to rely on our own taste.
- Mm, so how are we doing?
- Not bad, actually.
Seems audiences really like
you high-maintenance twits
for some reason.
Well, I would love to see
those testing reports.
- Are you high?
- I have a right to.
I'm a producer on this show.
You're also in the show,
and there are comments
and evaluations in this thing
about you and your friends that
none of you should ever see.
Okay. Well, if there's anything I can do
to change your mind, I...
- Thanks for lunch.
- You're welcome.
- See you tonight?
- Yes.
Ooh, no, actually, I can't do tonight.
Tomorrow would be much
better, maybe a little early,
like 6:45-ish?
No, sorry, I have SpeedCycle.
You know, as fascinated
as I am by your schedule,
there is something else
I'd like to talk about.
Okay.
This whole "no strings
attached" thing...
I don't know what it is, maybe
I'm old-fashioned, it's just...
My friends think I'm crazy, but...
Wait, you talk about this
with your guy friends?
Yeah. Don't you talk about
this with your girl friends?
Talk about what?
Okay, Ian...
this is all I can do right now, okay?
And don't take this the wrong way,
but if I was actually
looking to date someone,
I don't think it could be an actor.
Oh, the compliments keep coming.
My mom is an actor, and so I...
I have so much baggage about that.
But that's not your problem.
Look, Ian, I really like you.
I just don't know that I
can give you what you want.
I appreciate your honesty.
That doesn't mean I still
don't want to get together.
Nate? Babe,
can you help me with the groceries?
Guys, no running in the
house, you know that.
Oh, my God.
Caleb, Emma, come here
and get your dishes, please.
And the crayons.
Okay. Don't worry, I got it.
No help.
_
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
_
Are you seeing the e-mail
I'm seeing right now?
The test results. How'd
you get her to send them?
She didn't. So I asked her
assistant, who didn't know not to.
Mm, so now she's gonna get fired.
- We'll hire her on our show.
- Forward it to Jason.
He's in the Caribbean with Camille.
Okay, I'm on my way over.
- Bring rosé.
- Uh,
I think we're gonna need
something stronger than rosé.
Hurry.
Oh, my God.
"Tori Spelling
"is polarizing, but as Donna Martin,
"she's completely endearing,
especially when she
is with David Silver".
Ugh. Polarizing?
"Audiences related to
Kelly Taylor's struggle
as a middle-aged woman, but
found her storyline depressing".
Middle-aged? Depressing?
"Steve Sanders' macho
swagger feels old school,
like being in a time capsule".
Time capsule?
"Andrea Zuckerman being
gay or bi is pretty funny".
Funny?
What's funny?
"Audiences think David Silver
is now improbably sexy".
Improbably? Really?
"Audiences loved seeing Brandon Walsh
"and Kelly Taylor together,
but were confused by the
sexual chemistry between..."
Are you kidding me?
"Confused by the sexual
chemistry between Brandon Walsh
and Brenda Walsh"?
Oh, well, that's just wrong.
"And they would like to see Brenda
be more of a troublemaker".
Ugh! My God, good luck with that.
Brenda wasn't a troublemaker, Kelly was.
Kelly was a slut.
I can't believe that the audience thinks
that my character's
the funniest character.
- What's wrong with that?
- I wasn't trying to be funny.
Well, at least you're not relatable
for being a big sad mess.
Or the poster child
for toxic masculinity.
Or completely polarizing.
What does that even mean?
I don't know, but it's not good.
The only time the audience
liked me is when I
was in bed with Brian.
- Mm...
- David. When-when
Donna was in bed with David.
That's where I do some of my best work.
You know what? I don't
care what people think,
I prefer to continue living in oblivion.
Oh, good, you're all spiraling.
It was a nice play, Spelling,
tricking my assistant.
You guys having fun?
- No!
- Told you. And testing's not
what you should be worried
about right now anyway.
So what should we be worrying about?
Creating buzz.
So your show gets picked up.
People like noisy stuff that
cuts through the clutter.
Take photos, post.
I know Jason's on an island somewhere,
but where the hell's Shannen?
Okay, everybody, let's go.
Okay. Hi. Here!
- Showtime.
- Oh!
♪ Just living on a Sunday morning ♪
♪ Got my toast and tea
and I'm warm and... ♪
Jennie, over here.
I'm gonna go talk to Kyler. Excuse me.
Hey.
You don't have to do this
if you don't want to.
Yeah, I know, no one
really cares about anyone
who wasn't in the original cast.
I just wanted to see Shannen.
- Where is she?
- Uh, she's late.
It's kind of her thing.
Do you want to go sign some
autographs, maybe practice a little?
No, I'm good.
I downloaded this meditation app,
trying to learn to be more chill.
Oh. Well, maybe that'll be
beneficial for both of us.
Yeah, you think?
♪ Parody of yourself in color ♪
♪ Giving it to everybody
but your mother ♪
♪ And you've got much... ♪
Hey. Taking a break?
- No.
- No?
Hmm, maybe. A little one.
This waiting game is so stressful.
Hey, at least David and Donna
were the sweethearts
of audience testing.
Are you shocked?
David and Donna were
always great together.
- They must be onto something.
- Yeah.
20 years of marriage,
and they're still happy together.
I would kill for that.
You know, I don't mind
staying home with the girls,
but I feel like Shay doesn't
appreciate me enough.
I feel the same way. I feel like...
Nate hardly appreciates me.
Wow, Tori.
That's terrible. You
deserve to be appreciated.
- You deserve to be appreciated, too.
- So, then...
Right? I appreciate you.
I appreciate you.
Problem solved.
Break over. How you like that?
Ooh!
- Oh!
- Hey.
- Look who showed up.
- God. Okay, hi. Hi. Hi.
I'm so sorry that I'm late, okay?
- There was an accident and...
- Oh, my God!
Shannen, are you okay?
You're covered in blood.
- What happened?
- Hit and run.
Do you want me to take
you to the hospital?
Oh, no, no, n... Oh.
No. This is not my blood.
Okay, so... Ooh.
I was on my way here, and
this car just came and...
hit this possum and just left it, right,
in the middle of the road, just...
The thing was just twisted in pain.
- Oh.
- So you saved a possum?
Yeah. I mean, he was so sweet.
Granted, he did take, like, a
few chunks out of my finger,
but I'm up to date on my shots,
so I should be okay, I think.
But why?
Possums eat an average
of 4,000 ticks a week.
Wow, you know a lot about possums.
Huh. They're super ugly.
Jennie...
all animals deserve rescuing, right?
Not just the cute, fluffy ones.
Shannen, you're so amazing.
Thanks.
Mom...
Can't b...
She is amazing. You're right.
- Thanks.
- Thanks.
Hey.
Hey. Uh, I'm sorry to just
show up like this, but, uh...
you're not replying to my...
any of my texts or my calls
- or anything.
- You lied to me.
What?
You lied to me.
- What?
- You're not my son.
What?
Zach, stop it. Shay had your DNA tested.
No. No, my-my mom
was on the show with you.
So what are you saying?
You didn't know anything about this?
No, I... Sh-She was
in the picture with...
Zach, I know. I saw this.
I saw this picture. I remember your mom.
I-I understand why
she thought it was me,
but the DNA results don't lie.
It's what she told me.
T.
Bye. Sorry.
- Hi, babe.
- Hey.
You came.
Yeah. It's a pretty good turnout.
I'm so happy.
Do you want a milkshake? They're free.
No. I brought Declan, though.
I'm gonna leave him here
with you. Is that cool?
Got that dinner with Kevin.
- Remember?
- Uh, nope.
I didn't remember. I...
- Well...
- You-you could've reminded me...
- Oh, it's my fault?
- No, I just...
I was excited to see you. I
thought you came to see me,
but you came to drop our son off.
- Why do you do that?
- What?
That makes me sound selfish. I'm just...
Kevin's trying to help
me with a book deal.
Declan didn't want to
be with the sitter,
so I brought him here
to have some milkshakes
and see his mom. What is the big deal?
The big deal is I just wish you
would have figured it out. I...
I'm trying to figure it all
out. I got six kids at home.
I mean, I'm doing a lot.
Yeah. I do a lot, too.
- I know you do.
- We're both making sacrifices here.
- You know what? I have to work.
- Okay.
Have a good dinner.
Thanks.
Oh. How many pictures do
you think we took today?
- Too many to Facetune.
- Mm.
I appreciate the effort today, guys.
And whatever happens,
I want you all to know
how much I enjoyed working with you.
Why did you say it like
that? "Whatever happens"?
Fox picked up three
shows this afternoon.
Which means there's just
one slot left to be filled,
between 90210 and The O.C.
Which we're hearing
tested higher than us.
Are you saying we're done?
When do we find out?
End of the day tomorrow.
But I don't want to sugarcoat things.
It's not looking good.
So that's it?
It's the last time we're all gonna
be together in the Peach Pit?
There must be something we can do.
What if we reshoot the
pilot or recast some parts?
Yeah, good luck finding someone
else to play David Silver.
No, not your part, Bri.
No, look. Nobody quit just yet.
- There's still a chance.
- Yeah. I mean, you know,
whatever happens, guys,
at least it was cathartic and healing.
- Right?
- It was cathartic.
And whatever happens, I hope
we stay in each other's lives.
Mm. I can't believe they're
dragging this out another day.
This is making me sad.
I feel like we're not all
gonna be together again.
Why don't we have a barbecue
at my house tomorrow?
We can wait there and chill.
If by "chill", you mean
"emotional eating and alcohol"?
- That's exactly what I mean.
- Yes.
Sounds good, Bri.
Can you just put that over
there, please? Thank you.
Yes, ma'am.
It's looking like a really cool
picnic barbecue vibe right, babe?
Yeah, it is. It's fine.
Can we make peace, please?
I was just trying to
protect you and our family,
and I'm sorry if it hurt you.
You just can't back off on
anything, can you, Shay?
If you thought somebody
was trying to play me,
you wouldn't want to try
and find out the truth?
- I don't know. Maybe.
- Well, I do know.
And I would want you to look out for me.
You know what?
Actually, I'm tired of this.
Bed rest has been good for you.
There you go, honey.
Hollandaise sauce on the
side, just the way you...
What's wrong?
Do you want something else?
Are you having
strange pregnancy cravings?
Jay, I...
I think I just need to say it.
Say what?
You've tried so hard.
So very hard.
Yeah. I am.
You don't need to.
W-What are you saying?
I think it was a mistake to come here.
It wasn't a mistake.
We both needed a little R and R.
- It's a beautiful island.
- Us, Jason.
We've tried.
It's not gonna work, is it?
You're never gonna get over the fact
that this kid isn't yours.
And I don't blame you.
I've always believed
that I can do anything I put my mind to.
I know.
It's one of the many
things I love about you.
We've drifted
back and forth, up and down
our whole marriage.
Maybe we...
maybe we shouldn't have to anymore.
You sure about this?
I love you so much for trying.
Thank you.
I still want to be your
friend and I want to be...
My publicist?
Yes.
But I guess I got to
start charging you, huh?
Single mom. Got to pay the bills.
♪ Come get it if you real enough ♪
♪ I got bigger dreams
with a killer team ♪
♪ Coming out on top
in a den of thieves ♪
♪ Uh, Chef Curry when I'm cooking ♪
♪ B.I.G... ♪
Hmm. Shay seems really upset.
- Is it still the whole Zach thing?
- Yeah.
I'm just really pissed at her.
I'm sure it's a little
bit of that, like,
shooting the messenger
thing, but I just...
I don't know. I don't-I don't
know how to feel.
I don't know what to do.
Well, when you don't know
what to do, just do nothing.
I just feel bad for the
kid, like he's my own.
You know, I'm just having a hard time
wrapping my head around
the fact that he's not.
I just... I feel bad, you
know? He deserves a father.
So be one.
Biology doesn't matter.
It does to my wife.
Bri, baby, you got to
just follow your heart.
- You want some?
- No, I don't.
- Why not?
- Because you're down to the skin.
- But look, I made you smile.
- It doesn't even taste good.
It made you smile.
You think everyone likes
the beer that I brought?
It's got such a great, malty backbone.
It's all anyone's talking about.
You get snarky when you're stressed.
And when you're happy, or sad,
or angry or embarrassed, indifferent.
- Isn't it exciting getting to know me?
- Mm.
So exciting, in fact, that...
I have something I want to show you.
What?
What is that?
It's the letters J.G.
Wh... What does that stand for?
- Are you joking?
- No.
- Those are my initials?
- Yeah!
- You like it?
- I...
Is that j... temporary, or did...
Y-You got that at, like,
a kid's party, right?
I don't know any kids.
Hmm.
I'll be, uh, right back.
Here, this one.
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.
- Hey, Nate.
- Get a medium rare?
These are vegetable protein,
so medium rare might taste like, uh...
- Half-cooked salad.
- Half-cooked salad.
I'm gonna need more beer.
Z, if this show gets picked
up, then, uh, you know,
- I'm not gonna have time to do this.
- Bri, Bri.
It's not "if", it's "when".
- I admire your optimism, man.
- Come on.
- ...perspective, buddy.
- I just... I'm not counting on it.
Tori is. It's all she talks about.
It's all she thinks about. Lives for.
You know, she's been working really hard
- to make this happen.
- Yeah, I know.
I was there.
Kind of laughed in her face
when she pitched it to us.
But she was relentless
in her low-key Tori way.
That's my wife.
Little Tori's all grown-up
and making it happen.
You guys have great wives.
- You're so lucky.
- Ah, Z.
- Gonna get that beer.
- Does that one even...
- look done?
- It's half-cooked.
- Hey, Jen.
- Hey.
You okay? You look like
you've seen a ghost.
Mm. No, just a tattoo.
What?
- Wyatt got my initials tattooed.
- No.
- Too much too soon?
- Yes.
- End it?
- Now.
Thanks, Gab.
- You're kidding.
- Oh, my... Oh, my God!
Oh, we did it!
We got picked up!
- Oh, my God, look at this!
- Oh!
We're going to the Fox upfronts!
- I hope Jason makes it.
- That's crazy.
- He wouldn't miss it, trust me.
- So exciting.
- The O.C. is toast.
- I know.
God, I may have to go meditate.
You believed in this
when nobody else did.
You did, too, somewhere deep down.
- Don't give me that face.
- That's just my face.
That's true. I love this face.
- Well said.
- Okay.
- A toast, you guys.
- Yeah, way to go, Tor.
- To New York.
- To us.
Cheers!
♪ The city never sleeps... ♪
London is like another lifetime.
I'm just sick of the acting.
I'm sick of the pretending.
What's the point?
What's the point of what, Brenda?
Of pretending, Brandon.
Oh. Mm-mmm.
Mm... Mm, no.
Okay.
Welcome.
I know.
Hmm.
Relax, Shannen.
It's just a TV show.
It's one plane ride to New York.
Focus.
Why are the upfronts always in New York?
Oh, my God. I need to
lie down for three days.
Flight wasn't that bad.
God, Aunt Tori, so much
drama around flying.
It's her thing.
- Let her have it.
- You all have so many things.
That's why we're actors.
I'm gonna check in.
Hi.
Hi.
- Christine, this is my husband...
- Chris.
Nice to meet you.
We are so happy to have your
lovely wife back at Fox.
Thank you.
Am I gonna see you at
the kickoff party later?
- We'll be there.
- All right.
See you there.
Um, you know what, honey,
why don't you go upstairs,
and I will, uh, I'll-I'll meet you.
I'll see you up there.
Okay.
Come here.
What just happened?
That was awkward.
You know, I just didn't want to
get into any of this with Chris.
- Good move.
- Mm.
Says the queen of avoidance.
All right, uh...
We better get ready
for the kickoff party.
Okay. No more clapping, okay?
Okay. Sorry.
See you.
We're back.
You boys never disappeared.
Yes, I did.
I got married.
I'll grab one of these, please.
Denise.
Ian.
Hey, it's really nice to see you.
Well, it's nice to see you again, too.
- Congrats on the show.
- Oh, thanks.
- I'm very excited to watch.
- I'm excited
- to see yours, too.
- Well, thank you.
- Hey, let's catch up.
- Sounds good.
Oh, there's Zach.
I wish you hadn't invited him.
I invited him before you
dropped the bomb on us.
What, was I supposed to uninvite him
because you decided to go
rogue and invade his privacy?
So you're trying to punish me.
No, I'm not. I just wish
that you were okay with it.
I'm just not as trusting as you are.
But I'm not gonna spoil anything.
It's a celebration.
Cheers.
Fair enough.
Shannen brought Zach?
Oh, yeah. Brian asked her to.
You know, the whole Shay
drama and everything.
Interesting.
Why does Shannen irritate you so much?
She doesn't irritate me.
It's because I like her?
Not true.
Mom, it's really kind of
annoying at this point.
Okay, I'm sorry if, uh,
I annoy you with my irritation.
See? You admit it.
I admit nothing. What...
what is going on with you?
Why are you being so impossible?
Shannen and I are fine.
I mean, are you being
competitive about me?
No. I have no reason to
be competitive over you.
You're my daughter.
I feel like whatever
I say or do is wrong.
That's not true.
You're right sometimes.
Wow.
Sometimes.
That's huge.
I'll take it.
So, Zach, listen, I want to
talk to you about this whole,
like, test results thing.
'Cause it doesn't...
it doesn't really matter to me.
You don't have to have
this conversation.
Stop. Just... Yes, just humor me. Okay?
All right. Yeah.
You have a real father out there,
and you're gonna find him.
There's no question, in my
mind you're gonna find him.
But I just want you to know
that, until that happens,
I am totally on deck for you.
All right?
Thanks.
You...
You did it. I'm so proud of you.
You are?
Oh, you got that face.
I deserve it, right?
I know I don't say it enough.
I'm jealous.
I mean, you're on this great
new career adventure, and...
I don't know.
You don't know what?
What?
I mean, I was a hockey player.
I am a hockey player.
And then, with you, I was
a reality star. Okay.
And it's just you, you, you.
- Stop. What...
- But now you're on to this.
So what am I...
- What do I do?
- Uh, it's not supposed
to be "you" or "I".
- I want it to be "we".
- I'm trying.
Yeah.
I just wish you didn't have to try.
Hey, buddy.
- Hey, man.
- Hey, I heard about Zach.
Yeah.
- How'd you get those wires crossed?
- Yeah, I have no idea.
You recognize her, right?
- Yeah.
- Right?
Yeah, I think I do remember her.
Mind you, those seasons
were a bit of a blur.
Yes, they were.
Aw.
Ooh.
Is this the legacy key?
It's not a legacy key.
You know, Steve Sanders never
did pay this thing forward.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
You know, one of my
first jobs was on 90210.
Do you remember?
- Yeah.
- You don't remember, do you?
I played Kelly's cousin,
- and you were hitting on me.
- I was?
Yeah, but I rebuffed you.
No, you rebuffed Steve.
- That's true.
- Not Ian.
Mm. Clearly, the part
was poorly written.
Babe, I need to tell you something.
Are you aware how many twists and
turns have occurred in our marriage
whenever you need to tell me something?
Stop. Just listen, okay? I...
You know that, um...
the woman I introduced
you to today, Christine?
The one you slept with.
You knew.
I suspected.
It's funny. I wasn't that jealous.
I'm not-I'm not even sure why.
- 'Cause she's not a guy?
- Well...
That's not something I
need to worry about, is it?
I don't want you to worry
about anything. I'm...
I'm sorry.
You have to stop apologizing, Gab.
I'm sor... I'm sorry.
Yeah, I... I'm just...
You know, I'm just confused. And I...
I don't know.
I don't know how long "I
don't know" is gonna be okay.
I know.
You...
are my best friend.
♪ Will be... ♪
Hey. I made it.
I thought you were sitting this
one out to be with Camille.
Yeah, I was.
And now I'm... not.
Oh.
Everything okay?
Is she all right?
She's all right.
And I'll be all right.
Eventually.
It was never gonna work.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, me too.
Where's Bodyguard?
Oh, that was never gonna work either.
He adored you.
If only that were enough.
You are a lot of work.
Yes, I am.
But I'm worth the effort.
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ Finally ♪
♪ I'm where I wanted to be... ♪
Hello, Legacy.
Hey. Great getting reacquainted.
Yeah, I am so happy that
it worked out for us
this time around.
We should get together back in L.A.
I would love that.
Anna.
Hey. I'm so glad I was invited.
Denise, this is Anna.
None of this would've happened
if it hadn't been for her.
- She never gave up.
- Aw.
Well, of course she didn't.
She's my daughter.
Wow.
Hey.
That is a beautiful dress.
Thank you.
- You look handsome.
- Thank you.
So are things any better with Shay?
Marriage is... i-is tricky, you know?
Sometimes it's, uh... it's really good.
And then there are times where
you wake up next to somebody
and you think,
"Who the hell are you?"
Been there.
I am there.
You ever second-guess
yourself and think,
"Maybe I should've married
someone that, uh...
that's a better fit"?
Honestly?
Mm-hmm.
Sometimes I do.
So do I.
Tor. What are you wearing?
Oh, my God.
You said you were gonna wear blue.
You said you were wearing
green, so I thought it was safe.
I'm sick of green.
- You said you were gonna wear blue.
- I'm sick of blue!
Cue the popcorn.
Show's about to start.
Don't fuel the fire.
Incoming.
- Shan.
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Okay, my shaman told me that
nobody was gonna be wearing red.
Like, no one.
90210 cast, we're ready for you.
- Back off.
- Give me a minute.
Okay. So, um, which
of us is gonna change?
I changed last time.
- That's why I'm wearing white.
- Yeah.
Aw. That's so sweet.
Really brings me back.
But, listen, ladies, we
have way bigger problems
than your prom dresses.
There is going to be a
ton of press after this,
so there's things you guys need to know.
- Now? Really? I mean...
- First of all,
we are going to entirely
reshoot the pilot.
So, there's that.
We are going to replace Anna,
because, let's face it, she
was in way over her head.
An entirely new guest
cast. I'm sorry, Jennie.
Maybe we can find
something else for Kyler.
And the network has no money,
so we're gonna be shooting in Canada.
- Canada?
- I don't want to live in Canada.
- What about my kids?
- I don't like maple syrup.
- Beverly Hills, 90210.
- Can't shoot the show in Canada.
Guys, now is not the time to
get precious about zip codes.
Okay? And...
We can't afford to bring
all seven of you back.
But that's a conversation
for a different day, right?
So, suck it up, get
your asses out there,
and sparkle.
What does that mean?
90210 cast,
- we're ready for you.
- Oh, you got to wait.
Beverly Hills, 90210
launched our network,
and now they're back.
♪ Beverly Hills ♪
♪ That's where I want to be ♪
♪ Gimme gimme, gimme gimme ♪
♪ Living in Beverly Hills ♪
♪ Beverly Hills ♪
♪ Yeah, Beverly Hills ♪
- ♪ Beverly Hills ♪
- ♪ Gimme gimme, gimme gimme ♪
♪ Living in Beverly Hills ♪
---
- I love you, David.
- Previously on "BH90210"...
Are you jealous? We dated for, like,
five minutes, 20 years ago.
When you were working together.
And now you're working together again.
- Jennie's bodyguard, right?
- Yes, he is.
I would like to introduce Zach, my son.
I haven't even told anybody yet.
- Told anybody what?
- She's gay.
I like hanging out with you.
I'm thinking about leaving Camille.
Don't think I can raise
another man's kid.
Camille, she's in an ambulance.
- Honey, I'll be right there.
- I had a private investigator
look into him, too.
That's weird. He said
that we had never met.
Hello, Steve.
Gone through a lot of
trouble to get here...
In fact, I've jumped through time...
To give you some very
important advice...
I know that's weird. I'm sorry.
But you got to cut that hair.
It's got to go. Having a mullet
is no way to go through life.
Two: belly shirts, midriff
shirts, anything like that...
Burn 'em. You find them in
your closet, get rid of them.
Never ever wear them again.
Three... perhaps the most
important thing of all...
The legacy key.
You never paid it forward.
Now's the time, Steve.
Do you understand what I'm
saying? Is this getting through?
I'm talking about your legacy.
- My legacy?
- Our legacy.
Party time.
Did you guys think we'd make it
- to the wrap party and still be...
- Alive? No.
I'm just really proud of us.
Oh, I can't wait to see
it all cut together.
Do you remember when we
filmed the original pilot?
Uh, no, but I remember the wrap party.
Oh, my God. That wrap party was epic.
It was at Chasen's.
I followed you into the
kitchen and held your hair
while you cry-barfed
into a pot of chili.
- Oh.
- Okay. It was not a pot of chili.
- It was a garbage can.
- It was a pot of chili.
Okay, can we stop talking about it?
- Sorry.
- Because I really want some food
- at the party tonight.
- Hey, everybody.
Somehow, we made it this far, you guys.
But that was the easy part.
Now we get to sit around
- and wait and see if we get picked up.
- Oh, that's a formality, right?
I mean, it's the reboot
of 90210. No brainer.
I don't know. That O.C.
reboot came in pretty great.
And we can't air every show we make.
What are you talking about?
The O.C. did a reboot?
O-Okay. Do any of you read any news
except Google Alerts about yourselves?
Come on, Christine. The O.C.
was a rip-off of 90210.
We were often imitated,
but never duplicated.
That may be, but Mischa
Barton is tweeting up a storm.
And... she comes back from the dead.
- Who's gonna believe that?
- Look, guys,
try and enjoy yourselves, okay?
And with any luck, in a few weeks,
we'll be in New York
celebrating the pickup.
Otherwise, I'll be in New York
with the cast of The O.C.,
and you guys will be here,
licking your wounds.
- Here's to season one.
- Cheers.
♪ I can hear them talking ♪
I can't believe us getting
picked up is even a question.
Well, you never know,
so you better not spend
all your pilot money.
Too late.
Wait, what did you just say?
Did you already spend all your money?
Not spend.
It got garnished for back taxes.
Oh, Tor. Again?
Remember when "garnish" was a fun word?
It was, like, that
little sprig of parsley
on your dinner plate?
It was really good for your breath.
- We should bring that back.
- Is Nate gonna get a job, or what?
Ugh, why do you always
have to talk about me?
- I...
- What's going on with Chris?
We're still trying to figure things out.
Well, I hope you guys
do. He's a great guy.
Yeah, he is. Look, I'm not gonna
throw away 30 years of marriage
for... you know, new discoveries.
- What?
- D... W-Wait.
- No.
- What is... She? What is happening?
- Christine Elise?
- No
- Yes.
- Oh, my God.
The consent waiver.
- Now it all makes sense.
- Everything.
Wait a second... does Jason know?
Yes, he knows, and I'm just trying to,
I don't know, let things happen
and not control everything.
- Not control?
- Oh, that's gonna be hard for you.
I had to get a new bite
guard from the dentist.
I already chewed through one.
- Hi.
- Stop looking at her.
- She looked at me.
- Thanks.
- Scotch on the rocks. Hey, man.
- Hey.
I-I feel so lucky to be here.
- Yeah? You do?
- You've been so cool to me, and...
I know it's-it's caused
some things with Shay.
No, it has not.
Then why isn't she here?
You think she's not here because of you?
I don't know. I mean, she-she
obviously doesn't like me.
- You know, or trust me.
- No, stop it.
Zach, don't take it so personally.
She's guarded because she has to be.
- Yeah, okay.
- This is my thing.
And she knows that if she comes here,
then it'll become her thing.
You mean, like, she sucks
the oxygen out of the room?
She here? That's exactly what I mean.
Yeah, totally...
I'll talk to you guys later.
- Hey, baby.
- Ugh, Mom.
- Would you not do that?
- Oh, come on.
We finished the pilot.
- Your first acting gig.
- Yeah, if my one line
- doesn't get cut.
- You know what?
It doesn't all come at once.
You got to be patient.
Yeah, but I didn't sign on
to this to be a day player.
Uh, you didn't really
"sign on" to this at all.
This is kind of something I did for you
to support you wanting to be an actress.
Right. Yeah, that makes
me feel so much better.
Thanks.
You're welcome.
Hey, Ian.
A Z with the criminal B.
- B.
- What's up, man?
Where's, uh, where's Anna?
She doesn't want to date.
She's only interested
- in the NSA thing.
- NSA.
No strings attached? That's awesome.
That's, like, the mother
lode of the dating world.
- Except you can't say "dating".
- I have so many strings
I'm like a frigging marionette.
I'm ready for some strings.
I'm ready for a family. I've been ready.
I thought it was happening, but...
I like Anna.
There's something about her.
I know it doesn't make sense
- on paper, but...
- Mm-mmm.
If she'd only give me a
chance to get to know her.
You know her.
Oh, shut up. I'm not talking about sex.
- I can have sex whenever I want.
- Please. Really? Still?
Look, your mom did the
best that she could
just getting you on the show.
She can't help how many lines you got.
It's just so aggravating, you know?
Sitting there for all those
hours, waiting for one line.
Yes, I did notice all the eye-rolling
and the side-eyes to your mom.
I did not.
Ky.
Listen, it's called paying your dues.
All right? I did it.
- Everybody's done it.
- Did my mom give side-eye?
I'm not telling you any
stories, but it's a nice try.
What do you mean, stories?
Speaking of stories, there was one...
Did she tell you about the
one with the red dress?
- She did not.
- She did not.
- What red dress?
- There was a photo shoot
and all the girls showed up wearing red.
- I don't remember. It sounds
- It was awesome. I-I'm sure
- you don't remember it,
- vaguely familiar,
- but I don't think so.
- But it was-it was amaz...
It was like World War III.
The-the blowback lasted
- for about two weeks on set.
- Oh, yeah,
that sounds vaguely familiar...
- Uh, what are you guys talking about?
- Talking about
the red dress story.
- Remember that?
- Mom, you've never told me
any of these stories.
Uh, probably because they didn't
happen, or I blocked them out.
Doesn't matter. You guys have fun.
Okay.
You remember this story, right?
- Hey.
- Hey. Where's Kyler?
Oh, she's over there hanging
out with her new BFF Shannen.
- Well, that's good, right?
- It would be,
if she ever actually spoke to me, too.
She is speaking to you, Jen.
Two words. Three at the
most, if she's criticizing me.
Eh, she's a 17-year-old
kid. She's doing her job.
She's really good at it.
- Good things to look forward to.
- Yeah. Right.
- You guys are in for it.
- Times six.
Should have never put her in the show.
If this thing gets picked up,
she's gonna turn into a monster.
Look what it did to us.
Speak for yourself.
I was.
When did babysitters get so expensive?
- What a day, huh?
- Yeah.
How about tonight?
Oh, wait, babe.
Let me check on the kids.
Babe?
- What's that?
- I think the power went out.
Wait. Sorry.
Did you pay the bill?
Yeah, I'm pretty sure.
Uh, you're pretty sure?
Yes, I did.
I think. I... Look, I-I don't know.
There's so much going
on around the house,
and you're never here.
Wait, i-is this somehow my fault?
I'm just saying that
I could use some help.
Oh...
Yeah, I could use some help, too.
I'm gonna check on the kids. Ow. Ow.
_
Oh, my God, maybe it's
the network calling.
Ooh, great.
Hello?
Have you considered debt consolidation?
No, I don't want to consolidate
my debt, but thank you.
You know you can block them, right?
- You can do that?
- Mm-hmm.
It's so frustrating, waiting.
I just wish they would tell us.
- Why?
- Tori, it's only been three weeks.
You have to sit down.
You are stressing me out.
What days are you working
- the Peach Pit pop-up?
- Oh, no.
Mm-mmm. I'm all Peach Pitted out.
Really? Do you think that's
what Mischa Barton said
when they asked her to
do the Bait Shop pop-up?
- No.
- I follow her.
She has been there for 48
hours straight, grilling tilapia.
Ooh. She's not gonna be able to
get that smell out of her hair.
- Mm.
- You know what, we did a pilot...
Maybe that's enough.
Can you imagine doing a
whole series of that show?
- Mm-hmm.
- Having Jason direct us all the time.
Oh, please. I love when you
pretend to be put off by Jason.
- Okay. Don't do that.
- Hm?
Don't try to see something
that's not really there.
- Uh-huh.
- Wyatt and I are fine.
- Perfect.
- Ooh. You're annoying me now.
Oh, thank God you're back.
Aunt Tori, your kid is cute and all,
but she did not want to go to sleep.
And I had to change her dirty diapers,
which, I'm sorry, is just kind of gross.
You know how many dirty
diapers I changed of yours?
Yeah, I get it, Mom. I'm deadweight.
Ky, thank you so much.
You are a lifesaver.
Of course. How did the appointment
go with the plastic surgeon?
- We call it "dermatologist".
- Mm.
Well, maybe one day, society
will stop idolizing youth
and embrace a more
plural form of beauty.
Where did that come from?
- Shannen's Instagram.
- Oh.
- Positive affirmations?
- Whatever, Mom.
See you at home.
Hey.
Hey.
So there's something I
need to talk to you about,
and I need you to hear me,
and I need you to know
that this is coming from
a place of loving you
and protecting you.
Sounds really serious.
Uh, I'm all ears.
It's about Zach, Brian.
He's not your son.
I had my investigator do a DNA test.
I am so sorry.
So you collected evidence?
Brian, I had my suspicions all along.
You went behind my back
and you collected evidence?
I don't even know who the
hell are you right now.
I'm your wife, Brian. And
Zach's been lying to you.
- He's been to us this entire time.
- You just couldn't
leave well enough alone.
This is about protecting
our family, Bri.
You couldn't let me have this
because you couldn't control this.
That is really unfair.
And this is really fair?
Bri.
Hi, Christine. It's Tori.
I'm just checking in.
Have you seen the lines
at the Peach Pit pop-up?
We are sold out.
Impressive stunt, Spelling,
but The O.C.'s Bait Shop
pop-up is off the hook, too.
Yeah, yeah. Good for them.
You know we were first.
Well, there are at least four
slots on the fall schedule, so...
- Do we get one?
- I can't say.
We're still getting all
the audience testing in.
How do you do your testing?
The same way all consumer
products are tested:
we give 40 randos 50 bucks apiece
for their expert non-expert opinion.
It's an inexact science.
Actually, it's total crap, but at least
we don't have to rely on our own taste.
- Mm, so how are we doing?
- Not bad, actually.
Seems audiences really like
you high-maintenance twits
for some reason.
Well, I would love to see
those testing reports.
- Are you high?
- I have a right to.
I'm a producer on this show.
You're also in the show,
and there are comments
and evaluations in this thing
about you and your friends that
none of you should ever see.
Okay. Well, if there's anything I can do
to change your mind, I...
- Thanks for lunch.
- You're welcome.
- See you tonight?
- Yes.
Ooh, no, actually, I can't do tonight.
Tomorrow would be much
better, maybe a little early,
like 6:45-ish?
No, sorry, I have SpeedCycle.
You know, as fascinated
as I am by your schedule,
there is something else
I'd like to talk about.
Okay.
This whole "no strings
attached" thing...
I don't know what it is, maybe
I'm old-fashioned, it's just...
My friends think I'm crazy, but...
Wait, you talk about this
with your guy friends?
Yeah. Don't you talk about
this with your girl friends?
Talk about what?
Okay, Ian...
this is all I can do right now, okay?
And don't take this the wrong way,
but if I was actually
looking to date someone,
I don't think it could be an actor.
Oh, the compliments keep coming.
My mom is an actor, and so I...
I have so much baggage about that.
But that's not your problem.
Look, Ian, I really like you.
I just don't know that I
can give you what you want.
I appreciate your honesty.
That doesn't mean I still
don't want to get together.
Nate? Babe,
can you help me with the groceries?
Guys, no running in the
house, you know that.
Oh, my God.
Caleb, Emma, come here
and get your dishes, please.
And the crayons.
Okay. Don't worry, I got it.
No help.
_
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
_
Are you seeing the e-mail
I'm seeing right now?
The test results. How'd
you get her to send them?
She didn't. So I asked her
assistant, who didn't know not to.
Mm, so now she's gonna get fired.
- We'll hire her on our show.
- Forward it to Jason.
He's in the Caribbean with Camille.
Okay, I'm on my way over.
- Bring rosé.
- Uh,
I think we're gonna need
something stronger than rosé.
Hurry.
Oh, my God.
"Tori Spelling
"is polarizing, but as Donna Martin,
"she's completely endearing,
especially when she
is with David Silver".
Ugh. Polarizing?
"Audiences related to
Kelly Taylor's struggle
as a middle-aged woman, but
found her storyline depressing".
Middle-aged? Depressing?
"Steve Sanders' macho
swagger feels old school,
like being in a time capsule".
Time capsule?
"Andrea Zuckerman being
gay or bi is pretty funny".
Funny?
What's funny?
"Audiences think David Silver
is now improbably sexy".
Improbably? Really?
"Audiences loved seeing Brandon Walsh
"and Kelly Taylor together,
but were confused by the
sexual chemistry between..."
Are you kidding me?
"Confused by the sexual
chemistry between Brandon Walsh
and Brenda Walsh"?
Oh, well, that's just wrong.
"And they would like to see Brenda
be more of a troublemaker".
Ugh! My God, good luck with that.
Brenda wasn't a troublemaker, Kelly was.
Kelly was a slut.
I can't believe that the audience thinks
that my character's
the funniest character.
- What's wrong with that?
- I wasn't trying to be funny.
Well, at least you're not relatable
for being a big sad mess.
Or the poster child
for toxic masculinity.
Or completely polarizing.
What does that even mean?
I don't know, but it's not good.
The only time the audience
liked me is when I
was in bed with Brian.
- Mm...
- David. When-when
Donna was in bed with David.
That's where I do some of my best work.
You know what? I don't
care what people think,
I prefer to continue living in oblivion.
Oh, good, you're all spiraling.
It was a nice play, Spelling,
tricking my assistant.
You guys having fun?
- No!
- Told you. And testing's not
what you should be worried
about right now anyway.
So what should we be worrying about?
Creating buzz.
So your show gets picked up.
People like noisy stuff that
cuts through the clutter.
Take photos, post.
I know Jason's on an island somewhere,
but where the hell's Shannen?
Okay, everybody, let's go.
Okay. Hi. Here!
- Showtime.
- Oh!
♪ Just living on a Sunday morning ♪
♪ Got my toast and tea
and I'm warm and... ♪
Jennie, over here.
I'm gonna go talk to Kyler. Excuse me.
Hey.
You don't have to do this
if you don't want to.
Yeah, I know, no one
really cares about anyone
who wasn't in the original cast.
I just wanted to see Shannen.
- Where is she?
- Uh, she's late.
It's kind of her thing.
Do you want to go sign some
autographs, maybe practice a little?
No, I'm good.
I downloaded this meditation app,
trying to learn to be more chill.
Oh. Well, maybe that'll be
beneficial for both of us.
Yeah, you think?
♪ Parody of yourself in color ♪
♪ Giving it to everybody
but your mother ♪
♪ And you've got much... ♪
Hey. Taking a break?
- No.
- No?
Hmm, maybe. A little one.
This waiting game is so stressful.
Hey, at least David and Donna
were the sweethearts
of audience testing.
Are you shocked?
David and Donna were
always great together.
- They must be onto something.
- Yeah.
20 years of marriage,
and they're still happy together.
I would kill for that.
You know, I don't mind
staying home with the girls,
but I feel like Shay doesn't
appreciate me enough.
I feel the same way. I feel like...
Nate hardly appreciates me.
Wow, Tori.
That's terrible. You
deserve to be appreciated.
- You deserve to be appreciated, too.
- So, then...
Right? I appreciate you.
I appreciate you.
Problem solved.
Break over. How you like that?
Ooh!
- Oh!
- Hey.
- Look who showed up.
- God. Okay, hi. Hi. Hi.
I'm so sorry that I'm late, okay?
- There was an accident and...
- Oh, my God!
Shannen, are you okay?
You're covered in blood.
- What happened?
- Hit and run.
Do you want me to take
you to the hospital?
Oh, no, no, n... Oh.
No. This is not my blood.
Okay, so... Ooh.
I was on my way here, and
this car just came and...
hit this possum and just left it, right,
in the middle of the road, just...
The thing was just twisted in pain.
- Oh.
- So you saved a possum?
Yeah. I mean, he was so sweet.
Granted, he did take, like, a
few chunks out of my finger,
but I'm up to date on my shots,
so I should be okay, I think.
But why?
Possums eat an average
of 4,000 ticks a week.
Wow, you know a lot about possums.
Huh. They're super ugly.
Jennie...
all animals deserve rescuing, right?
Not just the cute, fluffy ones.
Shannen, you're so amazing.
Thanks.
Mom...
Can't b...
She is amazing. You're right.
- Thanks.
- Thanks.
Hey.
Hey. Uh, I'm sorry to just
show up like this, but, uh...
you're not replying to my...
any of my texts or my calls
- or anything.
- You lied to me.
What?
You lied to me.
- What?
- You're not my son.
What?
Zach, stop it. Shay had your DNA tested.
No. No, my-my mom
was on the show with you.
So what are you saying?
You didn't know anything about this?
No, I... Sh-She was
in the picture with...
Zach, I know. I saw this.
I saw this picture. I remember your mom.
I-I understand why
she thought it was me,
but the DNA results don't lie.
It's what she told me.
T.
Bye. Sorry.
- Hi, babe.
- Hey.
You came.
Yeah. It's a pretty good turnout.
I'm so happy.
Do you want a milkshake? They're free.
No. I brought Declan, though.
I'm gonna leave him here
with you. Is that cool?
Got that dinner with Kevin.
- Remember?
- Uh, nope.
I didn't remember. I...
- Well...
- You-you could've reminded me...
- Oh, it's my fault?
- No, I just...
I was excited to see you. I
thought you came to see me,
but you came to drop our son off.
- Why do you do that?
- What?
That makes me sound selfish. I'm just...
Kevin's trying to help
me with a book deal.
Declan didn't want to
be with the sitter,
so I brought him here
to have some milkshakes
and see his mom. What is the big deal?
The big deal is I just wish you
would have figured it out. I...
I'm trying to figure it all
out. I got six kids at home.
I mean, I'm doing a lot.
Yeah. I do a lot, too.
- I know you do.
- We're both making sacrifices here.
- You know what? I have to work.
- Okay.
Have a good dinner.
Thanks.
Oh. How many pictures do
you think we took today?
- Too many to Facetune.
- Mm.
I appreciate the effort today, guys.
And whatever happens,
I want you all to know
how much I enjoyed working with you.
Why did you say it like
that? "Whatever happens"?
Fox picked up three
shows this afternoon.
Which means there's just
one slot left to be filled,
between 90210 and The O.C.
Which we're hearing
tested higher than us.
Are you saying we're done?
When do we find out?
End of the day tomorrow.
But I don't want to sugarcoat things.
It's not looking good.
So that's it?
It's the last time we're all gonna
be together in the Peach Pit?
There must be something we can do.
What if we reshoot the
pilot or recast some parts?
Yeah, good luck finding someone
else to play David Silver.
No, not your part, Bri.
No, look. Nobody quit just yet.
- There's still a chance.
- Yeah. I mean, you know,
whatever happens, guys,
at least it was cathartic and healing.
- Right?
- It was cathartic.
And whatever happens, I hope
we stay in each other's lives.
Mm. I can't believe they're
dragging this out another day.
This is making me sad.
I feel like we're not all
gonna be together again.
Why don't we have a barbecue
at my house tomorrow?
We can wait there and chill.
If by "chill", you mean
"emotional eating and alcohol"?
- That's exactly what I mean.
- Yes.
Sounds good, Bri.
Can you just put that over
there, please? Thank you.
Yes, ma'am.
It's looking like a really cool
picnic barbecue vibe right, babe?
Yeah, it is. It's fine.
Can we make peace, please?
I was just trying to
protect you and our family,
and I'm sorry if it hurt you.
You just can't back off on
anything, can you, Shay?
If you thought somebody
was trying to play me,
you wouldn't want to try
and find out the truth?
- I don't know. Maybe.
- Well, I do know.
And I would want you to look out for me.
You know what?
Actually, I'm tired of this.
Bed rest has been good for you.
There you go, honey.
Hollandaise sauce on the
side, just the way you...
What's wrong?
Do you want something else?
Are you having
strange pregnancy cravings?
Jay, I...
I think I just need to say it.
Say what?
You've tried so hard.
So very hard.
Yeah. I am.
You don't need to.
W-What are you saying?
I think it was a mistake to come here.
It wasn't a mistake.
We both needed a little R and R.
- It's a beautiful island.
- Us, Jason.
We've tried.
It's not gonna work, is it?
You're never gonna get over the fact
that this kid isn't yours.
And I don't blame you.
I've always believed
that I can do anything I put my mind to.
I know.
It's one of the many
things I love about you.
We've drifted
back and forth, up and down
our whole marriage.
Maybe we...
maybe we shouldn't have to anymore.
You sure about this?
I love you so much for trying.
Thank you.
I still want to be your
friend and I want to be...
My publicist?
Yes.
But I guess I got to
start charging you, huh?
Single mom. Got to pay the bills.
♪ Come get it if you real enough ♪
♪ I got bigger dreams
with a killer team ♪
♪ Coming out on top
in a den of thieves ♪
♪ Uh, Chef Curry when I'm cooking ♪
♪ B.I.G... ♪
Hmm. Shay seems really upset.
- Is it still the whole Zach thing?
- Yeah.
I'm just really pissed at her.
I'm sure it's a little
bit of that, like,
shooting the messenger
thing, but I just...
I don't know. I don't-I don't
know how to feel.
I don't know what to do.
Well, when you don't know
what to do, just do nothing.
I just feel bad for the
kid, like he's my own.
You know, I'm just having a hard time
wrapping my head around
the fact that he's not.
I just... I feel bad, you
know? He deserves a father.
So be one.
Biology doesn't matter.
It does to my wife.
Bri, baby, you got to
just follow your heart.
- You want some?
- No, I don't.
- Why not?
- Because you're down to the skin.
- But look, I made you smile.
- It doesn't even taste good.
It made you smile.
You think everyone likes
the beer that I brought?
It's got such a great, malty backbone.
It's all anyone's talking about.
You get snarky when you're stressed.
And when you're happy, or sad,
or angry or embarrassed, indifferent.
- Isn't it exciting getting to know me?
- Mm.
So exciting, in fact, that...
I have something I want to show you.
What?
What is that?
It's the letters J.G.
Wh... What does that stand for?
- Are you joking?
- No.
- Those are my initials?
- Yeah!
- You like it?
- I...
Is that j... temporary, or did...
Y-You got that at, like,
a kid's party, right?
I don't know any kids.
Hmm.
I'll be, uh, right back.
Here, this one.
- Hey, guys.
- Hey.
- Hey, Nate.
- Get a medium rare?
These are vegetable protein,
so medium rare might taste like, uh...
- Half-cooked salad.
- Half-cooked salad.
I'm gonna need more beer.
Z, if this show gets picked
up, then, uh, you know,
- I'm not gonna have time to do this.
- Bri, Bri.
It's not "if", it's "when".
- I admire your optimism, man.
- Come on.
- ...perspective, buddy.
- I just... I'm not counting on it.
Tori is. It's all she talks about.
It's all she thinks about. Lives for.
You know, she's been working really hard
- to make this happen.
- Yeah, I know.
I was there.
Kind of laughed in her face
when she pitched it to us.
But she was relentless
in her low-key Tori way.
That's my wife.
Little Tori's all grown-up
and making it happen.
You guys have great wives.
- You're so lucky.
- Ah, Z.
- Gonna get that beer.
- Does that one even...
- look done?
- It's half-cooked.
- Hey, Jen.
- Hey.
You okay? You look like
you've seen a ghost.
Mm. No, just a tattoo.
What?
- Wyatt got my initials tattooed.
- No.
- Too much too soon?
- Yes.
- End it?
- Now.
Thanks, Gab.
- You're kidding.
- Oh, my... Oh, my God!
Oh, we did it!
We got picked up!
- Oh, my God, look at this!
- Oh!
We're going to the Fox upfronts!
- I hope Jason makes it.
- That's crazy.
- He wouldn't miss it, trust me.
- So exciting.
- The O.C. is toast.
- I know.
God, I may have to go meditate.
You believed in this
when nobody else did.
You did, too, somewhere deep down.
- Don't give me that face.
- That's just my face.
That's true. I love this face.
- Well said.
- Okay.
- A toast, you guys.
- Yeah, way to go, Tor.
- To New York.
- To us.
Cheers!
♪ The city never sleeps... ♪
London is like another lifetime.
I'm just sick of the acting.
I'm sick of the pretending.
What's the point?
What's the point of what, Brenda?
Of pretending, Brandon.
Oh. Mm-mmm.
Mm... Mm, no.
Okay.
Welcome.
I know.
Hmm.
Relax, Shannen.
It's just a TV show.
It's one plane ride to New York.
Focus.
Why are the upfronts always in New York?
Oh, my God. I need to
lie down for three days.
Flight wasn't that bad.
God, Aunt Tori, so much
drama around flying.
It's her thing.
- Let her have it.
- You all have so many things.
That's why we're actors.
I'm gonna check in.
Hi.
Hi.
- Christine, this is my husband...
- Chris.
Nice to meet you.
We are so happy to have your
lovely wife back at Fox.
Thank you.
Am I gonna see you at
the kickoff party later?
- We'll be there.
- All right.
See you there.
Um, you know what, honey,
why don't you go upstairs,
and I will, uh, I'll-I'll meet you.
I'll see you up there.
Okay.
Come here.
What just happened?
That was awkward.
You know, I just didn't want to
get into any of this with Chris.
- Good move.
- Mm.
Says the queen of avoidance.
All right, uh...
We better get ready
for the kickoff party.
Okay. No more clapping, okay?
Okay. Sorry.
See you.
We're back.
You boys never disappeared.
Yes, I did.
I got married.
I'll grab one of these, please.
Denise.
Ian.
Hey, it's really nice to see you.
Well, it's nice to see you again, too.
- Congrats on the show.
- Oh, thanks.
- I'm very excited to watch.
- I'm excited
- to see yours, too.
- Well, thank you.
- Hey, let's catch up.
- Sounds good.
Oh, there's Zach.
I wish you hadn't invited him.
I invited him before you
dropped the bomb on us.
What, was I supposed to uninvite him
because you decided to go
rogue and invade his privacy?
So you're trying to punish me.
No, I'm not. I just wish
that you were okay with it.
I'm just not as trusting as you are.
But I'm not gonna spoil anything.
It's a celebration.
Cheers.
Fair enough.
Shannen brought Zach?
Oh, yeah. Brian asked her to.
You know, the whole Shay
drama and everything.
Interesting.
Why does Shannen irritate you so much?
She doesn't irritate me.
It's because I like her?
Not true.
Mom, it's really kind of
annoying at this point.
Okay, I'm sorry if, uh,
I annoy you with my irritation.
See? You admit it.
I admit nothing. What...
what is going on with you?
Why are you being so impossible?
Shannen and I are fine.
I mean, are you being
competitive about me?
No. I have no reason to
be competitive over you.
You're my daughter.
I feel like whatever
I say or do is wrong.
That's not true.
You're right sometimes.
Wow.
Sometimes.
That's huge.
I'll take it.
So, Zach, listen, I want to
talk to you about this whole,
like, test results thing.
'Cause it doesn't...
it doesn't really matter to me.
You don't have to have
this conversation.
Stop. Just... Yes, just humor me. Okay?
All right. Yeah.
You have a real father out there,
and you're gonna find him.
There's no question, in my
mind you're gonna find him.
But I just want you to know
that, until that happens,
I am totally on deck for you.
All right?
Thanks.
You...
You did it. I'm so proud of you.
You are?
Oh, you got that face.
I deserve it, right?
I know I don't say it enough.
I'm jealous.
I mean, you're on this great
new career adventure, and...
I don't know.
You don't know what?
What?
I mean, I was a hockey player.
I am a hockey player.
And then, with you, I was
a reality star. Okay.
And it's just you, you, you.
- Stop. What...
- But now you're on to this.
So what am I...
- What do I do?
- Uh, it's not supposed
to be "you" or "I".
- I want it to be "we".
- I'm trying.
Yeah.
I just wish you didn't have to try.
Hey, buddy.
- Hey, man.
- Hey, I heard about Zach.
Yeah.
- How'd you get those wires crossed?
- Yeah, I have no idea.
You recognize her, right?
- Yeah.
- Right?
Yeah, I think I do remember her.
Mind you, those seasons
were a bit of a blur.
Yes, they were.
Aw.
Ooh.
Is this the legacy key?
It's not a legacy key.
You know, Steve Sanders never
did pay this thing forward.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
You know, one of my
first jobs was on 90210.
Do you remember?
- Yeah.
- You don't remember, do you?
I played Kelly's cousin,
- and you were hitting on me.
- I was?
Yeah, but I rebuffed you.
No, you rebuffed Steve.
- That's true.
- Not Ian.
Mm. Clearly, the part
was poorly written.
Babe, I need to tell you something.
Are you aware how many twists and
turns have occurred in our marriage
whenever you need to tell me something?
Stop. Just listen, okay? I...
You know that, um...
the woman I introduced
you to today, Christine?
The one you slept with.
You knew.
I suspected.
It's funny. I wasn't that jealous.
I'm not-I'm not even sure why.
- 'Cause she's not a guy?
- Well...
That's not something I
need to worry about, is it?
I don't want you to worry
about anything. I'm...
I'm sorry.
You have to stop apologizing, Gab.
I'm sor... I'm sorry.
Yeah, I... I'm just...
You know, I'm just confused. And I...
I don't know.
I don't know how long "I
don't know" is gonna be okay.
I know.
You...
are my best friend.
♪ Will be... ♪
Hey. I made it.
I thought you were sitting this
one out to be with Camille.
Yeah, I was.
And now I'm... not.
Oh.
Everything okay?
Is she all right?
She's all right.
And I'll be all right.
Eventually.
It was never gonna work.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, me too.
Where's Bodyguard?
Oh, that was never gonna work either.
He adored you.
If only that were enough.
You are a lot of work.
Yes, I am.
But I'm worth the effort.
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ Finally ♪
♪ I'm where I wanted to be... ♪
Hello, Legacy.
Hey. Great getting reacquainted.
Yeah, I am so happy that
it worked out for us
this time around.
We should get together back in L.A.
I would love that.
Anna.
Hey. I'm so glad I was invited.
Denise, this is Anna.
None of this would've happened
if it hadn't been for her.
- She never gave up.
- Aw.
Well, of course she didn't.
She's my daughter.
Wow.
Hey.
That is a beautiful dress.
Thank you.
- You look handsome.
- Thank you.
So are things any better with Shay?
Marriage is... i-is tricky, you know?
Sometimes it's, uh... it's really good.
And then there are times where
you wake up next to somebody
and you think,
"Who the hell are you?"
Been there.
I am there.
You ever second-guess
yourself and think,
"Maybe I should've married
someone that, uh...
that's a better fit"?
Honestly?
Mm-hmm.
Sometimes I do.
So do I.
Tor. What are you wearing?
Oh, my God.
You said you were gonna wear blue.
You said you were wearing
green, so I thought it was safe.
I'm sick of green.
- You said you were gonna wear blue.
- I'm sick of blue!
Cue the popcorn.
Show's about to start.
Don't fuel the fire.
Incoming.
- Shan.
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Okay, my shaman told me that
nobody was gonna be wearing red.
Like, no one.
90210 cast, we're ready for you.
- Back off.
- Give me a minute.
Okay. So, um, which
of us is gonna change?
I changed last time.
- That's why I'm wearing white.
- Yeah.
Aw. That's so sweet.
Really brings me back.
But, listen, ladies, we
have way bigger problems
than your prom dresses.
There is going to be a
ton of press after this,
so there's things you guys need to know.
- Now? Really? I mean...
- First of all,
we are going to entirely
reshoot the pilot.
So, there's that.
We are going to replace Anna,
because, let's face it, she
was in way over her head.
An entirely new guest
cast. I'm sorry, Jennie.
Maybe we can find
something else for Kyler.
And the network has no money,
so we're gonna be shooting in Canada.
- Canada?
- I don't want to live in Canada.
- What about my kids?
- I don't like maple syrup.
- Beverly Hills, 90210.
- Can't shoot the show in Canada.
Guys, now is not the time to
get precious about zip codes.
Okay? And...
We can't afford to bring
all seven of you back.
But that's a conversation
for a different day, right?
So, suck it up, get
your asses out there,
and sparkle.
What does that mean?
90210 cast,
- we're ready for you.
- Oh, you got to wait.
Beverly Hills, 90210
launched our network,
and now they're back.
♪ Beverly Hills ♪
♪ That's where I want to be ♪
♪ Gimme gimme, gimme gimme ♪
♪ Living in Beverly Hills ♪
♪ Beverly Hills ♪
♪ Yeah, Beverly Hills ♪
- ♪ Beverly Hills ♪
- ♪ Gimme gimme, gimme gimme ♪
♪ Living in Beverly Hills ♪