Awkward. (2011–2016): Season 5, Episode 23 - Second Chances - full transcript
Previously on "Awkward"...
Whenever something important happens,
you're the first person
I wanna talk to about it.
How did he know how to find me?
He texted me looking for you.
If he doesn't like the real you,
maybe he isn't worth it.
You always wanted to get into SCU.
Dean Strauss loves your stuff,
and he wants you to
come in for an interview.
Luke had gotten me an interview
with the dean of the
English department.
SCU had been my dream school,
and I was beyond excited
to have a second
chance to come here.
Their creative writing program
was one of the best
in the country,
and I was trying to
remain calm and confident,
which was a challenge
given that they had
already rejected me once.
You nervous? You
really don't need to be.
No, I'm not vernous.
Nervous. I'm not nervous.
The truth was, my
stomach was in my throat
and I had already
peed three times.
Dean Strauss already likes your writing,
and you know exactly what
to say in the interview.
I think you got a great shot,
and I'll be right outside waiting.
And I think...
I need to make another pit stop.
And you'll know exactly where
all the bathrooms are on campus.
Luke was right. I did
have a great shot.
I just had to focus on
sounding smart and charming
and ambitious and hungry
all at the same time.
I wouldn't let my
nerves distract me.
I wouldn't let
anything distract me,
not even that girl's amazing
gladiator sandal boots.
How did she lace those things up?
Wait. I had to keep it together.
[smooth music]
You belong here.
I'm not so sure about that.
You do realize this is
the men's room, right?
♪
[urinal flushes]
♪
Showtime.
Well, so far, the
receptionist seemed nice,
and such a comfy office.
I was feeling good about it.
Oh.
[quirky music]
♪
Well, nice to see you again.
Um, I was just looking
through your pictures.
It's nice to see you again.
I am Jenna Hamilton,
and I am confident that SCU will provide
the most enriching learning
experience possible.
And I am confident
that you are one of the
more interesting candidates
I'll be seeing this round.
♪
[light jazzy music]
Oh, isn't that your friend
Sadie from the clambake?
I don't want to talk about it.
So what do you want to talk about?
Me? Nothing.
Okay, uh, that's cool.
Cool.
It's just that you said
you wanted to talk
to me about something.
Okay, just TBH, it's
feeling a little naggy.
Jus... okay, I'm... I'm poor.
I don't even have enough money
to afford the lobster Cobb,
which is what I'm
dying for... I need that
bourgie-buttered-bottom-feeder
fix so bad,
not this gross iceberg wedge.
Hey, we're all a little
cash poor sometimes.
It's nothing to be upset about.
I mean, I could have spotted
you for the lobster Cobb.
Grammy's got a club account.
Patrick, you don't understand.
I'm not just cash poor.
I'm everything poor.
I don't come from a rich family.
I'm only upper middle class.
Wow.
[laughs] Oh, come on, who cares?
I care.
I've been leading you to
believe that I'm like you.
Honestly, when you didn't
know where Bora Bora was...
- But it's not important.
- But it is.
I haven't been truthful,
and I feel guilty,
like you don't even know the real me.
So if you don't want to pursue this...
Oh, I'm pursuing this.
You're awesome.
Who cares if you don't have money?
What do you think credit cards are for?
[sighs]
[quirky music]
Lissa! Check it out.
Ew, that sign-in sheet's so messy.
It's 'cause there's five
times as many signatures
as there should be.
Lissa, this is your class.
Members are pissed that they
have to be on a waiting list.
- That's good, right?
- It's awesome!
We should add more
classes to the schedule.
[gasps] PTL, that would be awesome.
If I could get, like, $50 a week more,
it would totally help
pay for Styrofoam crosses.
- How is the video doing?
- I don't know.
Every time I try to log
in, it says server busy.
So annoying.
[gasps] Holy [bleep]!
"Prayer Arms" has over 10,000 views.
What?
Wow.
Too bad we can't charge
'em all admission.
[gasps]
Jakey, scratch those extra classes.
We have more videos to make.
♪
Hey... oh, uh, your bag.
Look, I get it. You're mad.
Not at all.
So what if you didn't show
and we failed the presentation?
And what's so bad about a D average?
I mean, when I decided
to take summer classes
after spending the last
two semesters busting my ass
while taking care of a baby full-time,
I thought to myself,
"Hey, Lace, don't sweat it.
"Just try to at least get a D."
I know. I screwed up.
And for what it's worth, you were right.
Sully was a bad influence,
and we broke up.
Oh, Matty, that's good.
I really didn't see it going anywhere,
and, hey, maybe when the professor
is calculating my final
grade, I can go to her
and just explain that my
presentation was ruined
because Sully was a bad influence!
All right, Jenna, I suppose we need
to get down to some more serious stuff.
Can you in, say, 25 words or less
describe some of the
more profound neologisms
utilized by James Joyce
in "Finnegans Wake"?
Uh, I... I'm trying to
recall some of the most
profound ones, but I can't
because I'm not totally clear
on what a neologism is.
Uh, I couldn't get through
it without falling asleep.
I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry.
Are you joking?
Nobody likes "Finnegans Wake."
It is the most pompous,
pretentious bag of...
well, let's just say I thought
I'd be in preparations
for my wake
by the time I got through it.
No, Jenna, creative writing
is about what interests you.
Your writing stands on its own.
Your transcript speaks for itself.
I just like to get a sense of
where my students' heads are at.
Cool. Thank you.
So you will need to submit
an application, of course.
Do it, and I will see you in September.
Wait. Are you saying...
Just submit the application, Jenna,
and I'll take care of the rest.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I've got some other
candidates to terrorize.
♪
Tell me again. How'd he say it?
"Submit the application, and
I'll take care of the rest."
Jenna, you killed. This is amazing.
It was amazing.
I'd dreamed of this
day for so long.
Best library on campus, by the way.
Ooh, and over here, you have
to check out this coffee place.
Lattes like you've never had before.
And here, Jenna Hamilton,
is the home of the world's
best Thai peanut salad.
Actually, Luke Mallon,
the home of the world's
best Thai peanut salad
is just a few miles
south of Bangor, Maine,
in the basement of the student union.
They have Thai food in Maine?
Well, it was a lunch special one week.
Oh, but they had these
incredible haddock sandwiches
that I used to be so into
before I went vegetarian.
I kind of want to go back not vegetarian
just so I can have one.
And in that moment, I had
the saddest thought ever.
I might never go back there.
I might not get to have
another haddock sandwich.
I might not see my
tiny little dorm
that I shared with
Britta, and my friends.
Oh, and if you need
something scanned or copied,
this place is, like, 2¢ cheaper a page.
But I didn't want
anything scanned.
I wanted a haddock sandwich.
What was up with that?
[knocking]
Sorry, Ally let me in,
and she was gonna come tell you,
but then she got distracted by QVC.
It's morning; she likes to watch people
order bad jewelry while she
works through the shakes.
So listen. I could use a friend.
Ugh, for what. So overrated.
Well, not you. You're okay.
But don't get me
started on everyone else.
I mean, why is everyone such a pussy?
Like it's my fault. Why
is everyone mad at me?
A lot of that going on right now,
which is why I need a favor.
[quirky music]
Okay, camera's speeding.
Make sure the boom's
out of the way.
Lots of energy, everybody!
And... hit it!
- [upbeat music playing]
- Praise and raise!
Praise and praise again!
Lift to the Lord!
And lift again!
- [music stops]
- Jake, what is this?
Meet me in my office tomorrow morning,
9:00 a.m. sharp.
Oh...
[slow jazzy music]
♪
[chuckles]
What are you doing here?
Just in case the sunscreen
isn't enough for that cute face.
Pack your overnight bag.
I'm taking you to Catalina
for a long weekend.
OMG, that sounds so
fun, but I have to work.
But it's the weekend.
Did you not hear the part
about $12,000 in credit card debt?
Oh, yeah, when you were
crying into your iceberg wedge?
- [scoffs]
- Definitely heard that part.
- But this is my treat.
- You don't get it.
If I'm gonna get myself out
of the buttload of debt I'm in,
I'm gonna have to work every weekend
and generate some serious ad sales.
But go. Have fun.
♪ Together we've grown ♪
- Bye.
- Bye.
♪ And I can't let you go ♪
Not crazy about the curry?
What?
No, I was just thinking
about all the stuff
I'm gonna have to do
if I make this move.
Wait. If you make this move?
Wait. Did I say that?
No, what I meant was just that
everything's happening so fast.
I thought you really wanted this.
I did. I mean, I do.
I do... definitely
think this is what I want.
Think?
Think bordering on 100% totally know.
Wow, I can't believe you'd
even be on the fence about it.
I kind of went to a lot of trouble.
I pushed Dean Strauss
to read your material.
Jenna, am I pushing you?
No, it's just, this is a
huge opportunity for me,
and I want to make sure that I'm not
giving up anything I'll regret.
Which seems to be an
ongoing concern of yours.
Wow, it was amazing how
one intuitive sentence
spoken by Luke could so
easily sum up my life.
Look, it's just a big
change and a big decision.
Well, at the risk of pushing,
I hope you make it soon,
because I would love
for you to be here
to share this with me.
I think it would be good for you.
Think?
- [grunts]
- [giggles]
Look, I'm sorry.
I know I shouldn't have been
filming without permission,
but Lissa's classes
fill up constantly, so...
I've been watching you, Rosati.
There have been some major hiccups.
But overall, I like what I see.
- Thanks.
- You follow orders.
You know how to spin bull[bleep]
to suck up to the important members.
And I'm gonna be honest with you...
I see a little of me in you.
I'd like to offer you a raise.
I'll take it.
With an increased responsibility
and a small promotion.
Wow.
Rosati, I assume you
have a five-year plan.
Oh, yeah, I hope to
continue working here.
I was just like you.
I took this job right
out of high school,
and I've been here 20 years.
[funky music]
♪
I'm so sorry, Jakey.
I didn't mean to get you fired.
I got promoted.
[squeals and laughs]
This is such great
news. Congratulations!
I think this is a sign.
God is super happy with
my Atonercise videos!
[giggles] Wait. What's wrong?
I thought this is what you wanted.
Mrs. Parriott,
I am so sorry
about the hand soap in
the ladies' powder room.
The vendor stopped producing
the lavender rosemary
that you like so much,
and as a token of our
sincerest apologies,
I would like to present to you
a $100 gift card which is redeemable
at any of our pro shops
and spa experiences.
♪
[cell phone ringing]
- Hey.
- Oh, my God, Jenna.
I miss you so much.
I miss you too.
I just heard from housing.
We got upgraded to an
off-campus apartment.
Shut the [bleep] up. Really?
With a dishwasher and a kitchen.
And look, my mom got
us matching comforters.
She had a bunch of
those 20% off coupons,
and we just went crazy.
You are gonna love
the stuff I got
for our new place.
Oh, Britta, I love them,
and I can't wait to see them in person.
Okay, what was I
doing? Was I lying?
How could I tell my
friend that I was probably
never gonna set foot
at Wyckoff again?
Britta, there's actually
something I need to tell you.
Anytime you're ready, Jenna.
Uh, I got to go, but
I'll talk to you later.
Oh, yeah, ok.
Bye.
And finally, as you know,
I am in the process
of completing reviews
for all editorial fellows.
I wasn't sure if it
was my imagination
or my own guilty conscience,
but it felt like everything Lizzy
was saying was directed at me.
These reviews are comprised of ratings
on all materials submitted,
whether published or not,
and will be a key factor
in determining which,
if any, of you will be asked to return
to Idea Bin for another summer.
That's all.
Oh, she's so over me
now that we're a couple.
There's no way I'm getting asked back.
Doesn't matter. You have SCU.
Oh, my God, I'm not getting asked back?
We don't know that.
I'm just saying, with your talent
and the contacts you're
gonna make at SCU,
you'll find someplace
way better than Idea Bin.
♪ So I can see
your face okay ♪
♪
Patrick?
Are you stalking me?
What? No, of course not.
That's... may... yeah,
a little bit. Possibly.
- That is so cool.
- These are for you.
You know, for working all
weekend while I go goof off.
Oh, that is so sweet.
So, um, listen. I've
been thinking about stuff.
Oh, okay. It's okay.
I get it. I totally understand.
I mean, I get that you have to work.
Patrick, it's really
okay. It's my fault.
I should have been more honest.
I just, like... I really don't want
to have to keep asking
you to miss work for me.
So how about winter vacation?
My folks have a chalet in Gstaad.
It's so crazy. Like,
Bono lives next door.
It's dope snow and sweet fondue.
Oh, my God, that sounds amaze,
but there's a good chance I'll
have to be working then too.
I don't know that you will.
Do you know how long it
takes to pay off 12 grand?
Yeah, about 30 seconds.
Let me pay it off for you.
What? No, that's... that's crazy!
- Wh... you would really do that?
- Yeah, I would.
Babe, 12K's nothing. It's
not worth stressing over.
You can start over with a clean slate.
[quirky music]
Hey, Sadie, do you
mind grabbing the dolly?
Or, yeah, I could just grab it myself.
Give me a sec.
♪
"Lamest video I've ever seen.
If God exists, wouldn't he
protect you from this crap?"
What are you doing?
Leaving feedback on Lissa's
stupid Atonercise video.
What? Why would you do that?
'Cause people on YouTube
need honest reviews
to help them decide
what to watch... duh.
Don't you think that's a little mean?
What did Lissa ever do to you?
Please, you think Lissa's some angel?
She's a total bitch.
"Bitch" is about the last word
I would use to describe Lissa.
Yeah, well, that's because
you're not very astute.
Oh, so now you're insulting me?
What, you're gonna be all sensitive now?
Lissa pissed me off,
so she's getting what she deserved.
And Tamara and Sergio
are also on my list.
They're lucky I don't
comment on them too...
Oh, my God, that's genius.
I'm gonna invent Yelp
but for actual people.
You're welcome.
♪
Okay, so big news.
I'm pretty sure I want to go to SCU.
Oh, honey, I know, but
they didn't accept you.
No, I'm reapplying.
I think I'm gonna get in.
What? Really? Sweetie, that is amazing.
I'm so proud. Wait. Why?
Because it's SCU.
But you love Wyckoff,
and you're doing so great there...
and Luke is here.
And why does it take me so
long to catch on to things?
I need to stop breast-feeding.
My brains are being
sucked out through my...
Mom! This is not about Luke.
But isn't this exactly
what you told Matty
not to do for you?
Totally different.
I've wanted to go to SCU
since before I even met Luke.
Luke has nothing to do with it.
Honey, he does...
and that's okay.
I'll support you whatever you do,
but know what you're doing.
Call it what it is.
_
_
_
_
[Bavarian folk music]
[speaking German]
I know we blew it
before. Totally my fault.
But since our project
was going to be based
on the foods of
Germany, my partner and I
have prepared a surprise
for the entire class.
- We have?
- Frau?
Lein. Fraulein.
Would you all follow
us this way, please?
[speaking German]
[both speaking German]
♪
So what are we doing?
It might have been
nice if you had given me
a little bit of a heads-up
about whatever this...
- [people cheering]
- _
[speaking German]
[laughing]
This is awesome.
[chuckles]
♪
I am very impressed.
I hope you don't think for
one minute that bribing me
with a food truck
will change your grade,
but it will most certainly
make me reconsider
rescheduling your formal presentation,
one that you both will show up for
and be prepared for, yes?
- Yes.
- Yes!
Thank you. Thank you.
Matty, this is truly inspired.
Thanks.
[sighs]
So why aren't you happier?
No, I'm happy.
I'm just digesting the kraut.
Is this about Jenna?
No! It... absolutely not.
My... feeling for Jenna...
I knew it! Feelings for Jenna.
That's not what I meant to say.
It's just, you know, we
get so pissed at each other,
but the feelings never seem to go away.
And mine are still in
pretty high gear, I guess.
What, are you gonna tell
me to back off again?
Not this time.
I am done interfering
with all things Jenna and Matty.
- Cool.
- Cool.
What? Why are you
looking at me like that?
God, I can't stand
this. Fine. You broke me.
Jenna is thinking of transferring
to SCU to be with Luke,
so if you really have feelings for her,
you better express them
really freaking fast.
What?
We never had this conversation.
Nein!
Whoa! Hamilho's transferring.
That so figures.
She's probably already banged
every guy at Wyckoff, so...
Do you ever shut up?
I'm sorry, what?
Lissa's a bitch, Tamara's a jerk,
Sergio's an ass[bleep], and now Jenna.
Do you ever notice how
everyone else is the problem?
- Constantly.
- You know what, Sadie?
If you meet more than
two ass[bleep] in a day,
that ass[bleep] is probably you.
Go [bleep] yourself!
[scoffs]
[cell phone dinging]
[slow rock music]
- ♪
- _
I knew there was no way
Matty would understand
my situation.
And I really didn't want
to debate it with him.
I could spend my whole life
second-guessing things,
being afraid to take
advantage of opportunities.
Or I could challenge myself.
It was decision time...
_
_
And Matty had just
helped me make mine.
[dramatic pop music]
Send message to Matty,
Lissa, Jake, and Tamara.
[bleep] you all.
You think I care if we're
friends, question mark.
I would literally rather
die than be friends with you.
Ew, no. Too pathetic.
[horn honking]
[bleep]!
Is that language really
necessary, Sadie?
[bleep] you, you stupid robotic bitch!
[screams]
[loud crash]
Whenever something important happens,
you're the first person
I wanna talk to about it.
How did he know how to find me?
He texted me looking for you.
If he doesn't like the real you,
maybe he isn't worth it.
You always wanted to get into SCU.
Dean Strauss loves your stuff,
and he wants you to
come in for an interview.
Luke had gotten me an interview
with the dean of the
English department.
SCU had been my dream school,
and I was beyond excited
to have a second
chance to come here.
Their creative writing program
was one of the best
in the country,
and I was trying to
remain calm and confident,
which was a challenge
given that they had
already rejected me once.
You nervous? You
really don't need to be.
No, I'm not vernous.
Nervous. I'm not nervous.
The truth was, my
stomach was in my throat
and I had already
peed three times.
Dean Strauss already likes your writing,
and you know exactly what
to say in the interview.
I think you got a great shot,
and I'll be right outside waiting.
And I think...
I need to make another pit stop.
And you'll know exactly where
all the bathrooms are on campus.
Luke was right. I did
have a great shot.
I just had to focus on
sounding smart and charming
and ambitious and hungry
all at the same time.
I wouldn't let my
nerves distract me.
I wouldn't let
anything distract me,
not even that girl's amazing
gladiator sandal boots.
How did she lace those things up?
Wait. I had to keep it together.
[smooth music]
You belong here.
I'm not so sure about that.
You do realize this is
the men's room, right?
♪
[urinal flushes]
♪
Showtime.
Well, so far, the
receptionist seemed nice,
and such a comfy office.
I was feeling good about it.
Oh.
[quirky music]
♪
Well, nice to see you again.
Um, I was just looking
through your pictures.
It's nice to see you again.
I am Jenna Hamilton,
and I am confident that SCU will provide
the most enriching learning
experience possible.
And I am confident
that you are one of the
more interesting candidates
I'll be seeing this round.
♪
[light jazzy music]
Oh, isn't that your friend
Sadie from the clambake?
I don't want to talk about it.
So what do you want to talk about?
Me? Nothing.
Okay, uh, that's cool.
Cool.
It's just that you said
you wanted to talk
to me about something.
Okay, just TBH, it's
feeling a little naggy.
Jus... okay, I'm... I'm poor.
I don't even have enough money
to afford the lobster Cobb,
which is what I'm
dying for... I need that
bourgie-buttered-bottom-feeder
fix so bad,
not this gross iceberg wedge.
Hey, we're all a little
cash poor sometimes.
It's nothing to be upset about.
I mean, I could have spotted
you for the lobster Cobb.
Grammy's got a club account.
Patrick, you don't understand.
I'm not just cash poor.
I'm everything poor.
I don't come from a rich family.
I'm only upper middle class.
Wow.
[laughs] Oh, come on, who cares?
I care.
I've been leading you to
believe that I'm like you.
Honestly, when you didn't
know where Bora Bora was...
- But it's not important.
- But it is.
I haven't been truthful,
and I feel guilty,
like you don't even know the real me.
So if you don't want to pursue this...
Oh, I'm pursuing this.
You're awesome.
Who cares if you don't have money?
What do you think credit cards are for?
[sighs]
[quirky music]
Lissa! Check it out.
Ew, that sign-in sheet's so messy.
It's 'cause there's five
times as many signatures
as there should be.
Lissa, this is your class.
Members are pissed that they
have to be on a waiting list.
- That's good, right?
- It's awesome!
We should add more
classes to the schedule.
[gasps] PTL, that would be awesome.
If I could get, like, $50 a week more,
it would totally help
pay for Styrofoam crosses.
- How is the video doing?
- I don't know.
Every time I try to log
in, it says server busy.
So annoying.
[gasps] Holy [bleep]!
"Prayer Arms" has over 10,000 views.
What?
Wow.
Too bad we can't charge
'em all admission.
[gasps]
Jakey, scratch those extra classes.
We have more videos to make.
♪
Hey... oh, uh, your bag.
Look, I get it. You're mad.
Not at all.
So what if you didn't show
and we failed the presentation?
And what's so bad about a D average?
I mean, when I decided
to take summer classes
after spending the last
two semesters busting my ass
while taking care of a baby full-time,
I thought to myself,
"Hey, Lace, don't sweat it.
"Just try to at least get a D."
I know. I screwed up.
And for what it's worth, you were right.
Sully was a bad influence,
and we broke up.
Oh, Matty, that's good.
I really didn't see it going anywhere,
and, hey, maybe when the professor
is calculating my final
grade, I can go to her
and just explain that my
presentation was ruined
because Sully was a bad influence!
All right, Jenna, I suppose we need
to get down to some more serious stuff.
Can you in, say, 25 words or less
describe some of the
more profound neologisms
utilized by James Joyce
in "Finnegans Wake"?
Uh, I... I'm trying to
recall some of the most
profound ones, but I can't
because I'm not totally clear
on what a neologism is.
Uh, I couldn't get through
it without falling asleep.
I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry.
Are you joking?
Nobody likes "Finnegans Wake."
It is the most pompous,
pretentious bag of...
well, let's just say I thought
I'd be in preparations
for my wake
by the time I got through it.
No, Jenna, creative writing
is about what interests you.
Your writing stands on its own.
Your transcript speaks for itself.
I just like to get a sense of
where my students' heads are at.
Cool. Thank you.
So you will need to submit
an application, of course.
Do it, and I will see you in September.
Wait. Are you saying...
Just submit the application, Jenna,
and I'll take care of the rest.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I've got some other
candidates to terrorize.
♪
Tell me again. How'd he say it?
"Submit the application, and
I'll take care of the rest."
Jenna, you killed. This is amazing.
It was amazing.
I'd dreamed of this
day for so long.
Best library on campus, by the way.
Ooh, and over here, you have
to check out this coffee place.
Lattes like you've never had before.
And here, Jenna Hamilton,
is the home of the world's
best Thai peanut salad.
Actually, Luke Mallon,
the home of the world's
best Thai peanut salad
is just a few miles
south of Bangor, Maine,
in the basement of the student union.
They have Thai food in Maine?
Well, it was a lunch special one week.
Oh, but they had these
incredible haddock sandwiches
that I used to be so into
before I went vegetarian.
I kind of want to go back not vegetarian
just so I can have one.
And in that moment, I had
the saddest thought ever.
I might never go back there.
I might not get to have
another haddock sandwich.
I might not see my
tiny little dorm
that I shared with
Britta, and my friends.
Oh, and if you need
something scanned or copied,
this place is, like, 2¢ cheaper a page.
But I didn't want
anything scanned.
I wanted a haddock sandwich.
What was up with that?
[knocking]
Sorry, Ally let me in,
and she was gonna come tell you,
but then she got distracted by QVC.
It's morning; she likes to watch people
order bad jewelry while she
works through the shakes.
So listen. I could use a friend.
Ugh, for what. So overrated.
Well, not you. You're okay.
But don't get me
started on everyone else.
I mean, why is everyone such a pussy?
Like it's my fault. Why
is everyone mad at me?
A lot of that going on right now,
which is why I need a favor.
[quirky music]
Okay, camera's speeding.
Make sure the boom's
out of the way.
Lots of energy, everybody!
And... hit it!
- [upbeat music playing]
- Praise and raise!
Praise and praise again!
Lift to the Lord!
And lift again!
- [music stops]
- Jake, what is this?
Meet me in my office tomorrow morning,
9:00 a.m. sharp.
Oh...
[slow jazzy music]
♪
[chuckles]
What are you doing here?
Just in case the sunscreen
isn't enough for that cute face.
Pack your overnight bag.
I'm taking you to Catalina
for a long weekend.
OMG, that sounds so
fun, but I have to work.
But it's the weekend.
Did you not hear the part
about $12,000 in credit card debt?
Oh, yeah, when you were
crying into your iceberg wedge?
- [scoffs]
- Definitely heard that part.
- But this is my treat.
- You don't get it.
If I'm gonna get myself out
of the buttload of debt I'm in,
I'm gonna have to work every weekend
and generate some serious ad sales.
But go. Have fun.
♪ Together we've grown ♪
- Bye.
- Bye.
♪ And I can't let you go ♪
Not crazy about the curry?
What?
No, I was just thinking
about all the stuff
I'm gonna have to do
if I make this move.
Wait. If you make this move?
Wait. Did I say that?
No, what I meant was just that
everything's happening so fast.
I thought you really wanted this.
I did. I mean, I do.
I do... definitely
think this is what I want.
Think?
Think bordering on 100% totally know.
Wow, I can't believe you'd
even be on the fence about it.
I kind of went to a lot of trouble.
I pushed Dean Strauss
to read your material.
Jenna, am I pushing you?
No, it's just, this is a
huge opportunity for me,
and I want to make sure that I'm not
giving up anything I'll regret.
Which seems to be an
ongoing concern of yours.
Wow, it was amazing how
one intuitive sentence
spoken by Luke could so
easily sum up my life.
Look, it's just a big
change and a big decision.
Well, at the risk of pushing,
I hope you make it soon,
because I would love
for you to be here
to share this with me.
I think it would be good for you.
Think?
- [grunts]
- [giggles]
Look, I'm sorry.
I know I shouldn't have been
filming without permission,
but Lissa's classes
fill up constantly, so...
I've been watching you, Rosati.
There have been some major hiccups.
But overall, I like what I see.
- Thanks.
- You follow orders.
You know how to spin bull[bleep]
to suck up to the important members.
And I'm gonna be honest with you...
I see a little of me in you.
I'd like to offer you a raise.
I'll take it.
With an increased responsibility
and a small promotion.
Wow.
Rosati, I assume you
have a five-year plan.
Oh, yeah, I hope to
continue working here.
I was just like you.
I took this job right
out of high school,
and I've been here 20 years.
[funky music]
♪
I'm so sorry, Jakey.
I didn't mean to get you fired.
I got promoted.
[squeals and laughs]
This is such great
news. Congratulations!
I think this is a sign.
God is super happy with
my Atonercise videos!
[giggles] Wait. What's wrong?
I thought this is what you wanted.
Mrs. Parriott,
I am so sorry
about the hand soap in
the ladies' powder room.
The vendor stopped producing
the lavender rosemary
that you like so much,
and as a token of our
sincerest apologies,
I would like to present to you
a $100 gift card which is redeemable
at any of our pro shops
and spa experiences.
♪
[cell phone ringing]
- Hey.
- Oh, my God, Jenna.
I miss you so much.
I miss you too.
I just heard from housing.
We got upgraded to an
off-campus apartment.
Shut the [bleep] up. Really?
With a dishwasher and a kitchen.
And look, my mom got
us matching comforters.
She had a bunch of
those 20% off coupons,
and we just went crazy.
You are gonna love
the stuff I got
for our new place.
Oh, Britta, I love them,
and I can't wait to see them in person.
Okay, what was I
doing? Was I lying?
How could I tell my
friend that I was probably
never gonna set foot
at Wyckoff again?
Britta, there's actually
something I need to tell you.
Anytime you're ready, Jenna.
Uh, I got to go, but
I'll talk to you later.
Oh, yeah, ok.
Bye.
And finally, as you know,
I am in the process
of completing reviews
for all editorial fellows.
I wasn't sure if it
was my imagination
or my own guilty conscience,
but it felt like everything Lizzy
was saying was directed at me.
These reviews are comprised of ratings
on all materials submitted,
whether published or not,
and will be a key factor
in determining which,
if any, of you will be asked to return
to Idea Bin for another summer.
That's all.
Oh, she's so over me
now that we're a couple.
There's no way I'm getting asked back.
Doesn't matter. You have SCU.
Oh, my God, I'm not getting asked back?
We don't know that.
I'm just saying, with your talent
and the contacts you're
gonna make at SCU,
you'll find someplace
way better than Idea Bin.
♪ So I can see
your face okay ♪
♪
Patrick?
Are you stalking me?
What? No, of course not.
That's... may... yeah,
a little bit. Possibly.
- That is so cool.
- These are for you.
You know, for working all
weekend while I go goof off.
Oh, that is so sweet.
So, um, listen. I've
been thinking about stuff.
Oh, okay. It's okay.
I get it. I totally understand.
I mean, I get that you have to work.
Patrick, it's really
okay. It's my fault.
I should have been more honest.
I just, like... I really don't want
to have to keep asking
you to miss work for me.
So how about winter vacation?
My folks have a chalet in Gstaad.
It's so crazy. Like,
Bono lives next door.
It's dope snow and sweet fondue.
Oh, my God, that sounds amaze,
but there's a good chance I'll
have to be working then too.
I don't know that you will.
Do you know how long it
takes to pay off 12 grand?
Yeah, about 30 seconds.
Let me pay it off for you.
What? No, that's... that's crazy!
- Wh... you would really do that?
- Yeah, I would.
Babe, 12K's nothing. It's
not worth stressing over.
You can start over with a clean slate.
[quirky music]
Hey, Sadie, do you
mind grabbing the dolly?
Or, yeah, I could just grab it myself.
Give me a sec.
♪
"Lamest video I've ever seen.
If God exists, wouldn't he
protect you from this crap?"
What are you doing?
Leaving feedback on Lissa's
stupid Atonercise video.
What? Why would you do that?
'Cause people on YouTube
need honest reviews
to help them decide
what to watch... duh.
Don't you think that's a little mean?
What did Lissa ever do to you?
Please, you think Lissa's some angel?
She's a total bitch.
"Bitch" is about the last word
I would use to describe Lissa.
Yeah, well, that's because
you're not very astute.
Oh, so now you're insulting me?
What, you're gonna be all sensitive now?
Lissa pissed me off,
so she's getting what she deserved.
And Tamara and Sergio
are also on my list.
They're lucky I don't
comment on them too...
Oh, my God, that's genius.
I'm gonna invent Yelp
but for actual people.
You're welcome.
♪
Okay, so big news.
I'm pretty sure I want to go to SCU.
Oh, honey, I know, but
they didn't accept you.
No, I'm reapplying.
I think I'm gonna get in.
What? Really? Sweetie, that is amazing.
I'm so proud. Wait. Why?
Because it's SCU.
But you love Wyckoff,
and you're doing so great there...
and Luke is here.
And why does it take me so
long to catch on to things?
I need to stop breast-feeding.
My brains are being
sucked out through my...
Mom! This is not about Luke.
But isn't this exactly
what you told Matty
not to do for you?
Totally different.
I've wanted to go to SCU
since before I even met Luke.
Luke has nothing to do with it.
Honey, he does...
and that's okay.
I'll support you whatever you do,
but know what you're doing.
Call it what it is.
_
_
_
_
[Bavarian folk music]
[speaking German]
I know we blew it
before. Totally my fault.
But since our project
was going to be based
on the foods of
Germany, my partner and I
have prepared a surprise
for the entire class.
- We have?
- Frau?
Lein. Fraulein.
Would you all follow
us this way, please?
[speaking German]
[both speaking German]
♪
So what are we doing?
It might have been
nice if you had given me
a little bit of a heads-up
about whatever this...
- [people cheering]
- _
[speaking German]
[laughing]
This is awesome.
[chuckles]
♪
I am very impressed.
I hope you don't think for
one minute that bribing me
with a food truck
will change your grade,
but it will most certainly
make me reconsider
rescheduling your formal presentation,
one that you both will show up for
and be prepared for, yes?
- Yes.
- Yes!
Thank you. Thank you.
Matty, this is truly inspired.
Thanks.
[sighs]
So why aren't you happier?
No, I'm happy.
I'm just digesting the kraut.
Is this about Jenna?
No! It... absolutely not.
My... feeling for Jenna...
I knew it! Feelings for Jenna.
That's not what I meant to say.
It's just, you know, we
get so pissed at each other,
but the feelings never seem to go away.
And mine are still in
pretty high gear, I guess.
What, are you gonna tell
me to back off again?
Not this time.
I am done interfering
with all things Jenna and Matty.
- Cool.
- Cool.
What? Why are you
looking at me like that?
God, I can't stand
this. Fine. You broke me.
Jenna is thinking of transferring
to SCU to be with Luke,
so if you really have feelings for her,
you better express them
really freaking fast.
What?
We never had this conversation.
Nein!
Whoa! Hamilho's transferring.
That so figures.
She's probably already banged
every guy at Wyckoff, so...
Do you ever shut up?
I'm sorry, what?
Lissa's a bitch, Tamara's a jerk,
Sergio's an ass[bleep], and now Jenna.
Do you ever notice how
everyone else is the problem?
- Constantly.
- You know what, Sadie?
If you meet more than
two ass[bleep] in a day,
that ass[bleep] is probably you.
Go [bleep] yourself!
[scoffs]
[cell phone dinging]
[slow rock music]
- ♪
- _
I knew there was no way
Matty would understand
my situation.
And I really didn't want
to debate it with him.
I could spend my whole life
second-guessing things,
being afraid to take
advantage of opportunities.
Or I could challenge myself.
It was decision time...
_
_
And Matty had just
helped me make mine.
[dramatic pop music]
Send message to Matty,
Lissa, Jake, and Tamara.
[bleep] you all.
You think I care if we're
friends, question mark.
I would literally rather
die than be friends with you.
Ew, no. Too pathetic.
[horn honking]
[bleep]!
Is that language really
necessary, Sadie?
[bleep] you, you stupid robotic bitch!
[screams]
[loud crash]