Awkward. (2011–2016): Season 5, Episode 14 - WTF Happened Last Year? - full transcript

Previously on "Awkward"...

What did happen with Matty?
Everyone is dying to know.

- Who's that sloppy rando?
- That's my girlfriend.

You're not the same
girl you were last year.

You have changed.

Three complicated words to hear

after having sex with your ex.

What do you mean?

Well, I couldn't help
noticing... this is new.

Stop. You're too
distracting. I have to work.

It's okay. I have pictures of my ex too.



He is your ex, right?
You're not still...

No, not even friends or...

people who even speak to each other.

Whoa. What happened?

I haven't really been
up for talking about it.

I'm sorry, I probably
shouldn't have asked.

It's just, it's you, and I care.

Maybe it was because I
knew he genuinely did

or maybe because it was because
we had just bared our bodies,

so why not bare my soul?

Whatever it was, I felt
comfortable with him

and before I could
second guess it,

everything was coming out.

I thought it was impossible, but...



_

I've never been more in love with Matty.

He's gonna be here tomorrow,

and I've got butterflies.

I've hated the long distance thing,

but in a lot of ways,
it's been good for us.

They appreciate each other in a new way.

It's wicked sweet to see.

You two will be at the
co-op Halloween party, right?

You have to go.

Everyone in my Great Books group
said it's the party of the year,

and those people know how to party.

Yeah, there's no way
we're gonna miss it.

[laptop rings]

Oh, hey, Matty and I are
going to FaceTime tonight.

Will you guys, uh...

Already leaving.

[laptop rings]

With 2,500 miles between us,

I decided to give Matty a
little more than FaceTime.

[computer alert sound]

Your boobs got bigger!

Do you think Matty would
be into a staged reading

- of an Edgar Allan Poe poem?
- Don't do that to him.

All I know for sure
is that I am definitely

taking him to the co-op Halloween party.

It's gonna be insane.

That is a lot of out-of-bed action

for a bone-a-thon weekend.

[knock at door]

Hey, J. Thanks for the loaner.

Here.

You in for organic Tequila Taco Tuesday?

I'm on guac.

Great, all right.

Sorry, I know the timing
sucked with the Adam breakup,

- and I'm sorry I wasn't...
- It's fine.

He was committed to shipping off

and serving our country
and I was committed

- to not being a teenage bride.
- Hey, Jenna.

I'll always be a patriot,

but I think I'm finally
moving on from Adam.

Going out tonight. I mean,
I go out most nights,

but yeah, tonight too.

Jenna, vamoose. Everyone's on the roof.

The Jaeger's disgusting,
but it's almost gone.

Let's roll.

Go! I have to primp
and crimp before din.

X-O-X-O!

Great. Love you. Bye.

_

Hey, Kiki. Hi, everyone.

It is freezing out, huh? Burr-tal.

Just grabbing my bag.

We have a rezzie at Hoof & Grouse.

Oh, dish-delish. I've
been wanting to go there.

Let me just grab my coat.

Oh, apologies, sweetie.
Our rez is for five,

a hard five and there's
a dress code, so...

You know?

Yeah, actually, I just remembered,

I have plans with Janet
from down the hall,

so we're all cool.

That's nice. Have fun with Janet.

Soon, Matty would be with me
in Maine, meeting my friends,

seeing my new life.

It would be like worlds colliding

and it was happening
in only three hours.

Or right now.

Matty! When do you...

What do you... When did you...

Mm.

Did you catch an earlier flight?

- What about your soccer game?
- It was rescheduled.

That's great... I mean,
I'm sorry about your team.

That must be annoying,
but I am not sorry for us.

God, I missed you.

Just this face, these lips, these eyes.

This. [giggles]

♪ Closer ♪

♪ We need to be closer ♪

♪ I want to feel closer ♪

Jenna, I need you.

Charlie's having... oh, Matty McKibben.

Holy hell, you're already here.

Hi, Britta.

Oh, my God, you're tall IRL, and hot.

Thank you. It's nice to meet you too.

Uh, Brit, you mind giving
us a couple more minutes

to finish catching up?

Oh! Oh, yeah. Right on. Got it.

Um, but the thing is,
everyone's hanging out

in Charlie's room and
stupid Zed's there.

Zed is my garbage can-ex

who I may still be in love with.

I know, don't get me started.

So, uh, you know, I can't see
that garbage can without you.

It's just that Matty
just got here, and...

Well, Jenna, if you
want to go, I want to go.

As long as I'm with you, I'm good.

And if there's beer.

Cutest couple ever.

I can't even. I need a pic.

The world needs proof that
young love effing does exist.

[camera shutter clicks]

- Welcome to Palos Hills International Airport.
- _

[gasps] Mommy!

_

My angel.

Home for fall break, and just in time

for us to celebrate
your birthday together.

Honey bunny, how long
is your fall break for?

Forever. [giggles]

I dropped out.

[hip-hop music]

Hey. This is home-brewed,
pumpkin flavored.

Call it the Wycoff.

- Whoa.
- You'll love it.

Yeah, it's great.

Okay.

Oh.

Uh, you shouldn't be naming
that after your school.

Oh, my bad.

Well, Jenna digs it, so
I figured you would...

- Yeah.
- But we got other sauce.

What-what gets your buzz on?

Um, anything that doesn't
have pumpkin flavors.

Okay.

Matty McKibben, we're doing a survey.

Who are your top five
favorite post-modern writers?

Britta and I are in this amazing

post-modern fiction seminar.

Okay, uh, you know,

I like Vonnegut just
as much as the next guy,

but is this what you guys
really talk about at parties?

We live in the woods and half the campus

is boycotting social media,
so, yeah, this is what we do.

- [laughs]
- Who else is on your list?

You a Pynchon guy, a Nabokov guy?

Or are you a David Foster Wallace freak?

I bet you are. [laughs]

You know, I'm not
into picking favorites.

I love all those guys.

Hey, you want to go back to your room?

I was torn. I felt in my element,

but I had seen how not
in his element Matty was.

We had lots of time for Matty
to get to know my friends.

Right now was all about
knowing each other.

Every inch of each other.

I woke up with the
butterflies gone

and two of my favorite guys,
Albert Camus and Matty.

I was a lucky girl...

and a late one.

Hey, not so fast. You're
not going anywhere.

Oh, I wish I could,

but we're doing "The Stranger"
today, and I can't miss it.

You're leaving me for a stranger?

But look, you are gonna
have a great day on campus.

I made a list for you.

First, you have to get a
croissant from Cafe Foucault.

They're unbelievable. Ooh.

Next door is the thrift store.

Maybe you'll find a
Halloween costume there,

and I know you have the big game,

so here's a guest pass to the gym.

I know you can't miss a workout.

Let me see the list.

- Oh, gotcha! Gotcha.
- Oh!

You can't leave now.
You're skipping class.

- Deal with it.
- [giggles]

Look, it's not even snowing.

Was that a possibility?

Have a good day. I love you.

[industrial rock music]

♪

$585.

For two black cotton T-shirts?

For two organic cotton ebony tops.

That's not my price point for tops.

Well, that's a sad.

- Ring 'em up, shop bitch.
- Sadie!

Gross. Stop gawking.

I saw a familiar face and I took pity.

Don't wet your pants over it.

Chop chop, Tilda Skanton.

You work retail, so work it.

Quitting college is a
big decision, sweetie.

Vanderbilt had a lot to offer you.

Like slow Wi-Fi and way too many

classes about books?

Like your future husband.

Vandy breeds bread-winners.

That campus is crawling
with marriage material.

Mm, I did like the boys,

but once I realized all I wanted
to be was a Palos Hills Mom,

I was like, "Lissa,

"why are you torturing
yourself at boring college

"when you could go home
and get the best education

from the prettiest
Palos Hills Mom ever?"

I see your plan now,
darling, and it's beautiful.

I am honored to welcome you
to Lesley Miller College.

Classes start today.

[both giggle]

To the birthday girl
and Vanderbilt dropout.

♪ Una fiesta, tu
cumpleaños, estoy... ♪

Jake?

Oh [bleep].

[Spanish music continues]

[clapping to beat]

Uh, deliciosia, and maravillosa,

tu cumpleaños, estoy.

[music stops]

[upbeat music]

Matty.

Oh, Matty.

It smells like boy and calzones in here.

Well, I am a boy, and
I did eat calzones.

In the room?

Yeah, that's the beauty of delivery.

- Delivery?
- Uh-huh.

Been here all day?

Yeah, it's like two degrees
out there. I'm resting up.

- For the parties tonight?
- No, for you.

Hey, put that hippie stuff away
and come back to bed with me.

I'd known Matty to eat calzones.

I had never known
him to sleep all day.

It spooked me.

Come on, we've got to
get our costumes ready

for the party tonight.

Mm, costumes, do we have to?

Yes, it's Halloween.

- Jake.
- Lissa.

Why did you run away
from me to come here?

It smells.

I was embarrassed.

I should've never taken
this dumb gap year.

I should've gone to college.

Are you joshing me?

College is really hard and confusing.

Did you know you have
to take different classes

on different days at different times

in different buildings? It's nuts.

- No, that's standard, I think.
- College is stupid.

Did you drop out, Lissa?

Not going to college is
going to be the best decision

of my life, yours too if you let it.

Hey, is that a joint, Rosati?

- No... [stammers]
- Yes!

- You're fired.
- Oh, señor, no...

[squeals] Yay.

It really is my b-day,
and your present is

to spend the rest of today with me.

I needed that job, Lissa.

Well, I know a place always
looking to hire cute boys.

[dance music]

♪

I went as my favorite author.

Matty went in his
favorite hoodie,

but who cared if he
didn't wear a costume?

We were together, so this
Hallow's Eve felt like heaven.

♪

- Joan Didion!
- Yes!

I'm obsessed, and what are you?

Some athlete?

Oh, I don't know sports people.

Or are you supposed to be
an all-around dumb jock?

♪

Matty had been
called a dumb jock,

but he was smart enough
not to let it bother him.

I was proud of him
for letting it go

and enjoying the party,
and not even needing

to be by my side to do it.

I mean, call me a dreamer,
but I wouldn't be mad

if Kanye West was our
next poet laureate.

God, his wife is freakin' hot. [giggles]

I guess if you want to view her

through the male gaze, she's hot.

What other gaze could I have?

It's so bizarre that you and Jenna

are both from California, but that Jenna

doesn't seem like it at all.

Yeah? What does she seem like?

You know, like, Jenna.
Like, Jenna doesn't surf.

[laughs] I don't surf either.

- But you seem like you do.
- Mm-hmm.

Yeah? What does that mean?

It's a compliment.
Everyone loves a surfer.

Yeah, okay.

♪ We take this city ♪

All I know is that being a vegetarian

has definitely made my boobs bigger.

- Hey, babe.
- Hi.

I was just telling everyone about...

Hey, yeah, I heard. Can we leave?

I'm, uh, tired.

From what? You slept all day.

I didn't know that was a problem.

Sorry, it's just that
it's barely 1:00 a.m.

and I'm having a great time

and there's so many more
friends I want you to meet.

Jenna, your friends are boring,

and I literally don't care

about anything they are saying.

[crowd whispering]

Okay, let's go.

[awkward music]

♪

- [car horns honk]
- Let her go.

The woods and granola
people have Hempilton now.

That self-absorbed mope is
their problem, not yours.

You are so bad.

I should not be letting you
talk about Jenna that way.

Please, please don't stop.

No one talks [bleep] about
Jenna to me except me.

We had such different
high school experiences.

Yeah, back then I had a BFF
who RSVP'ed when I SOS'ed.

Now Jenna's MIA, a.m. to p.m.

living like some 24-hour party person

while I'm like James
Franco in "127 Hours,"

except I am not going
to cut off my own arm.

I am going to die.

You make me so, so sad.

I'm sorry. I haven't found my crowd yet.

I've always had a
crowd. Where is my crowd?

Stop screaming like a
hysterical menstrual cramp.

Listen up.

Don't worry about Jenna
or anyone back home.

You're in New York City.

Forget about that life and those losers

and start living this one.

- How's Sergio like that MO?
- We have an agreement.

We're gonna get back together
next summer, but until then,

I am free to devour the Big Apple

and I am loving it.

I go to the perfect school.

I have all these amazing new friends.

Oh, my God! Tell me all about them.

What are they like? Tell me their names.

Use detail. Make it real.

It has been so long for me.

Ugh, fine.

Harsh truth, the
Columbia brats are nerds.

I mostly hate them.

They never even want
to go below 82nd Street.

Oh, that's where I live!
Like way, way below.

I know. I am so crashing
at your place tonight.

Fantastical,

but we should leave before
the bartender boots us

for ordering large zilches.

We are not leaving here
until we are full of martinis

and bad decisions.

Uh, with my nada cash
and my epic fail fake,

you are living the impossible dream.

Tomorrow, we are
getting you a credit card

and a for-real fake ID.

Can you believe those people?
So many boring weirdoes.

You're so good at faking
being into their BS.

I can't do it. Nope.

Okay, you know what?

I don't have to fake
it with those people,

because I like them, and
I like what we talk about.

Well, pardon me for
not being pretentious.

You don't have to be pretentious,

but you do have to try.

All we've done since you got here

is leave parties.

That wasn't a party.
There wasn't even a keg.

Okay, so because there wasn't a keg,

that gave you permission to be a jerk?

I'm sorry that my friends aren't
as cool as your soccer friends.

No, I quit soccer.

- What? Why?
- It's not a big deal.

I was riding the bench and it sucked.

Okay, but isn't that what freshmen do?

Not me, Jenna. I've
never ridden the bench,

but you know what?

I was never gonna be
as good as those guys,

so why waste more time?

You know, they didn't
even... care when I left.

Turns out Matty had
been wearing a costume

tonight and I didn't even know.

- Why didn't you tell me?
- 'Cause of this.

I knew you'd make it into
a big deal, and it is not.

Okay.

So if it's not a big deal,
why are you so pissed?

I'm not pissed!

Okay. I'm sorry.

I could've reached out to him,

told him everything
was gonna be okay,

but I didn't, and
he didn't either.

Instead, we lay inches
away from each other

with miles between us.

[lounge music]

I start tomorrow. Just
gonna be folding towels,

but Derek says that upward
mobility is a thing here.

Congratulations, Jakey.

Well, thank you for
setting up the interview

and for putting in the good word for me.

It was easy.

The last pool boy was
ugly and maybe on meth.

You're way better.

Lissa, will you let me
take you out to dinner

as a real birthday present?

Yes, but Jake, move, you're in my sun.

Oh. Oh.

You'll get the hang of where
to stand after a few days.

[laughs]

Isn't this better than college?

Way better.

Last night was bad,
but was it this bad?

I was trying to help
Matty, not lose him.

Oh, my God, had I lost Matty?

Hey.

Matty, I-I don't... I thought you...

Went to the gym, because I did.

- I thought you'd left.
- Are you kidding? No.

I went to Cafe Foucault
too. You were right.

Their croissants are insane. I got four.

There's only one left.
It's got your name on it.

Hey, so...

I am sorry about last night.

You were right to call me
out and I'm glad you did.

It was a wake-up call,

and, well, I have decided
I want to make some changes.

I want to come here.

Here? What do you mean? You are here.

I mean be here permanently.
I'm transferring to Wycoff.

[intense music]

♪

You look freaked out.

Not even a little bit excited?

Uh, I-I-I am.

It's just, um, it's a lot to take in.

I didn't realize you
liked Wycoff so much.

I like it more than Berkeley.

We don't even have a soccer team.

- I don't play soccer anymore.
- Right.

It just seems like you haven't exactly

been loving the people here.

No, I like them.

You called them boring weirdoes.

Some of them are, but I'm sure

there are interesting
people here somewhere.

Look, I'm not transferring for them.

I'm transferring for you.

You're running away.

Okay? You're not coming
here because it's right.

You're coming here
because it's not Berkeley

and I won't let you do that.

I won't be that excuse for you.

If you truly want to come here, great,

but do it for you, not me.

That is exactly what I'm doing.

I'm doing this for me.

I don't know, Matty.

I don't know if I want you here.

I didn't... I didn't mean that.

Oh, God, maybe I did.

Matty, just listen to me.

Um...

I have never felt like I do here.

I have never felt more like myself,

and I don't want to lose you.

I love you with all my heart,

but I don't want to lose
the person I'm becoming.

If this is how you
treat someone you love...

I don't want it.

What? Matty, I love you.

Well, you don't want me at Wycoff,

I won't be at Wycoff

or in your life.

Matty, don't throw this away.

What are you... What are you...

I'm leaving. Good-bye, Jenna.

[Fevers' "They
Don't Lie" playing]

♪

[sniffs]

♪

Come on, T, pick up the [bleep] phone.

♪

[cell phone vibrates]

I have never shopped this much.

Could've fooled me, babe.

That $200 jumpsuit
was made for your butt.

I know. I didn't even
recognize my own tushy.

[phone vibrates]

- Cheers.
- Yeah.

[thuds]

I'm so sorry.

I didn't realize how bad
I needed to let it out,

but I feel a lot better.

Thank you.

[tense music]

Luke? Jenna?

What the hell is going on here?