Awkwafina Is Nora from Queens (2020–…): Season 1, Episode 10 - China - full transcript

Oh-ho-ho, yeah!

Cheese!

Oh.

Instagram doesn't work here.

Nora! Nora!

You are Nora Lin?

Yes, I am.
Thank you, wow.

I'm so glad you found me.

Of course I found you.

I am Grace.

I'll be your personal
assistant and translator



during your contract
at Qiancent.

Oh, great.
How long you been at the company?

Oh, I am not a permanent
employee of Qiancent yet.

We have those in America,
they're called temps.

Oh, yeah.
Okay.

Let me help you
with your bags.

Oh, you don't...
I can get that one.

I got no problem. You don't need...
you don't need that one.

Just... just follow me
to your private car.

Okay.

Welcome to China!

Thanks.
Can I... okay.

This is your new home.

What?!



Oh...
so big!

Oh, it's like
"The Jeffersons."

Here we are.

Oh, my.

Oh...

This is amazing!

I had the honor
of decorating it myself.

Do you like it? Yeah, yeah.

What is that?

That is a painting
of Geena Davis

as the goddess Diana,
Queen of Archery.

Geena Davis so talented
and awesome, just like you.

That's why I painted her
for you.

Oh, you paint... okay, great. Mm.

You're very talented
at drawing.

I use only oil.

Oh, great.

Oh, oh...

Oh.
Here's your key.

Thank you. Um, I am available

any time of the day
or night.

Okay.

Any time of night.

Uh, noted.

All right.

I'm here, you know,
4:00 in the morning, I here.

And 5:00 in the morning.5:00
in the morning, I here.

6:00. Just make sure
you definitely leave.

Bye-bye.

And check out this
water dispenser boiler!

I swear to God,
when you press this button,

it just starts bubbling up.

It's, like, crazy technology.

Wow, that's great, Nora.

We miss you.

I miss you guys, too.

Zai jian.

Zai jian!

So, I'm... I'm gonna go out
with Brenda tonight, okay?

I'm... you'll be okay
by yourself, huh?

Oh, I'll be okay.

You sure?
Mm-hmm.

I'm good.

Go.

Aww.

Oh, man.

I always wanted to do this.

Ow, my fuckin' shit!

Oh, fuck!

It's like cement!

TV room.

Oh, hell yeah.

Let's see what's on.

"True Lies"!

Stay awake for this.

Ahh!

Ah!
Grace!

What the hell?

I'm so sorry
to scare you.

You weren't picking up
your calls,

so I come
to check on you.

Did you change
my clothes?

Yes, I did.
You fell asleep wearing jeans.

Okay, Grace, if this
is gonna work out

between you and I,
you can't be coming

into my house and changing me
while I'm asleep.

It's too much.

I'm sorry I fail you.

You didn't...
you didn't fail.

No, no, no.

No, no, no, no,
no, no, no.

Here, have some
dried squid.

You like dried squid?

Yeah.
Dried squid?

Mm-hmm.
Thank you.

You're welcome, Grace.

Don't... don't...

I love you, Nora.

Do you want
to eat this with me?

Yes, I'll eat
some with you.

Okay, I can feed you too.

Okay, shh,
that's not necessary.

Oh, bao bao.

Even though you're gone,

it still smells
like weed in here.

Ugh.

Oh... you're hurt.

Oh, oh, oh.
Oh...

You'll be okay.
I'll take care of you.

I'm Grandma.

I'm gonna name you...

Boris.

The whole team is very
anxious for your arrival.

I can't wait to show you
your new office.

So, question, what does
this job entail mostly?

Is it user testing,
marketing, coding?

'Cause I can learn Java.

You want me
to learn Java?

I could fire up a tune.

You don't need
to do anything.

You're just
an American face.

What do you mean?

There will be media
appearances,

and of course,
the product launch

with the government official.

But your role here is to be
the American face of Scrubr.

And you're doing
a great job.

Okay.

This is your new office.

Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Ohh!

Wait, let me
get this straight.

I get this entire
corner office

and I don't have to work?

That is correct.Damn.

What is it?

It's awesome
is what it is, crazy girl!

Come on in!
All right.

You know, in America
this would be, like,

mm, inappropriate
for the workplace.

Lucky we in China.

Hey, hey.
Huh?

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
I can hear you guys, you know.

I ting dong
a little bit.

I can ting dong.

So...
work.

Why, you need to eat.
Keep strong.

This soup will
help you heal.

Hey, Ma?

Have you seen my phone?
I can...

What the fuck is that?

It's a pigeon.

Why is there a pigeon
in the house?

Oh, Wally, calm down.

He came in hurt
through the window.

I'm nursing him
back to health.

Ma, that's a fucking
flying rat.

God, what's wrong
with you?

Vermin or not,
he needs help.

Whatever, Ma.

I'm gonna go spend
the night at Brenda's.

Oh, don't listen
to him, Boris.

You are beautiful,
no matter what they say.

Words can't get you down.

Edmund, where the hell
are you?

Ugh, my work visa is still processing.

Apparently,
some other Edmund Lin

joined ISIS in 2014.

If he's not already
dead, I'm gonna kill him.

How is it over there?

This job is weird, man.

It's like, they don't
expect me to work,

but I'm being paid
as if I am.

Oh, my God, isn't it amazing

to get paid to do nothing?

I've been waiting
to get acquired

by a Chinese company
so I can get wined,

dined, and swanked up
the cheese hole.

I guess. I just,

I never went this long
without smoking weed.

No, Nora, do not try and find drugs there.

They're super illegal in Asia.

Maybe I'm just homesick,
you know?

Grandma's been sending me
all these WeChats

with her and this
goddamn pigeon, just...

Girl, suck it up, okay?

You're in China making
that Asian money.

So, go out there
and get yourself

a nice authentic
Chinese meal.

Yeah, you're right.
I should go out there

and get some...
some really good

Chinese food, you know?
Treat myself.

Well, see, here's some
garlic here.

Yeah, we could do this.

Yeah, but we need
some ginger first.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Do you need help?

Yes, I would love
some water.

Have you been living here
for a while or something?

About two years.

I'm training the Chinese
snowboarding team

for the Olympics.

Oh, like "Cool Runnings"!

Yeah, just...
just like that,

except that was, uh,
that was bobsledding,

and it was ironic
because they were Jamaican.

Oh, yeah, 'cause it's
a warm environment, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.
Oh!

Let me guess,
you're an acqui-hire

with too much time
on your hands

and nothing to do.

Yes, that's exactly...
how'd you know?

Oh, mate, there's heaps,
heaps of them here.

Uh... Rob, he's a Brit.Mm.

Came to China 'cause he's
super into Wong Kar-wai movies.

Sven and Sophie over there
from Norway.

They do recruiting
for Ali Baba.

And Kevin.
He's American like you.

USA?
'Sup?

All right.

Why are there
no Asian people

in your friend group?

Oh, it's an expat bar.

Oh, okay, cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you drink? I... I really shouldn't.

This is gonna be great! Great, eww!

All right, yeah!

What?
You guys have weed here?

It's a hash spliff.

Hash spliff?

Yeah, but if you
want something else...

You guys got
cocaine here, too?

Yeah, when you've been here
long enough, you find a way.

Oh, man!

MDMA?
MDMA tablets?

Oh!
China's fucking tight, bitch!

♪ Let's go party,
party all night, whoa ohh ♪

♪ Many, many good times,
whoa ohh ♪

♪ Whoa oh ohh ♪

Grace!
We talked about this,

coming in here
breaking and entering.

Well, you did not
come home last night.

I was worried sick.

I'm fine, all right?
I just...

I stayed out a little bit,

and, um, I met
some new friends.

What's wrong
with your eyes?

There's nothing wrong
with my eyes.

The black part's so big.

That's normal,
it's normal.

Today is the product launch
with the government official,

your most important event
during your time with us.

We have to get you ready.

I will comb your hair.

You... you think that
that's necessary

at this exact moment?

Yes.

No smelling, Grace!

Nora?
Ahh.

Please.
Oh!

Look.

I'm gonna be honest,
who... who here is hungover?

No?
How 'bout Molly?

Anyone do Molly?
Him?

I mean, pfft, right?

In conclusion, technology is
all around us, okay?

And I... I'm so happy to...

...have you involved.

Oi, what's up with you?

I screwed up this huge meeting
at work today,

and the worst part
is no one even cared.

Oh, it's not your fault,
you were on Molly.

I wasn't on Molly, I... I was
that weird comedown phase

where you're like a little bit
horny, but mostly depressed.

Watch out!

I don't know what that means,
but I don't like your tone.

Here's $2, probably.

Kevin's such a knob.
Americans, right?

I'm American.

Mm, right.

Dudes!

We're in China, bitch!
Yeah!

Damn it.

Asshole bird.

Hey, Ma.
Whatcha doing?

Oh, I'm knitting
an aviator hat for Boris.

Like, for the pilots.
Isn't it cute?

Hi, Brenda.

Hi, Mrs. Lin,
it's nice to see you again.

And Boris.

Ma, you can't keep
the bird here anymore.

He's all cooped up.

I'm helping him.

Ma, he doesn't need
your help, look.

He's... he's totally healed.

Oh, Boris.
He is healed.

Yeah, see?

But he's not
hurting anyone.

We can have dinner here,
the four of us.

The four...?

I don't wanna eat with the bird.
Yeah.

I don't mind him
joining us.

I don't mind either.

Ooh!

I'll set the table.

Good morning, Nora.

Hey.
What's wrong?

Everything is fine.

Oh, come on.
You can tell me.

I've been passed up
on promotion again.

Three years,
still a temp.

I'll never become
a zhengshi yuangong.

Is there anything
I can do to help?

Can I send an email
or something?

Do you wanna come out with
me and my friends tonight?

Your foreign friends?

Yeah.
Nora...

it would be
a dream come true!

Um... they party
a little hard, though.

Is that okay? I'm ready.

Grace! Grace! Grace! Grace...

Yeah!

Where'd you get
this legend?

I've never had a drug before!

Hey, Grace.

You wanna like maybe cool
it down a little bit?

'Cause like you're
on the bar right now.

I love you, Nora,

more than
mother and father.

I love drug, too!

Let's have a threesome.

Grace! Grace! No!

We talked about this.

I have to go.
I have to go.

Whoo!

Whoo!

Grace! Grace! Grace! Grace...

What-what's happening?
What's hap...?

They all left,

and the police
said the drugs are mine.

No, they're not hers.

No, they're not hers.
They're mine.

They're my drugs.
They're my dr...

It's okay.
Grace, it's okay.

You're foreigner, yes? Yes.

If you're caught
with drugs in China,

you will be facing
major consequences.

Grace, Grace, it's okay.

I have to do this.
I have to do this, okay?

It's all right.

Take me in. Take me
downtown to Chinatown.

Well, you know what I mean.

Oh, Jesus.

Couldn't get away
fast enough, huh?

Your cracked out little
friend got us raided.

It's her fault
I'm here now.

Oh, yeah, it's her fault
you're here now.

Like you didn't do anything.

Like you didn't come
to a foreign country

and totally disrespect
their rules and culture.

And then you end up in jail
and you're like,

it's not my fault,
of course not, stupid.

Like it or not,
you're just like me.

Lin, Nora.

Yes!

Am I going to jail?

He's going to jail!

What?

Because his company
didn't pay his fines.

No, no, no,
but they always pay.

Lucky for you,
your company paid.

So I'm free.
So... I'm free.

I can get
my cell phone back?

You're not going
to jail.

But your punishment
is getting deported

back to America!

Back to America?
Okay.

Great,
no, that's good.

Do you know
what airline it is?

Maybe I could call ahead
and cash in some points.

'Cause it's
a lot of miles.

Right?

Nora! Nora!
Nora Lin!

I'm so glad I caught you. Grace?

Shh, you don't argue
with the police.

I can't believe Qiancent forced
their morality clause on you.

You gave up
everything for me.

You would have
done it for me.

I finally got promoted
to zhengshi yuangong.

Oh, really?

Wait... did you
do that for me?

Nora, you're the best person
I ever met.

I love you. I love you too, Grace.

All right, I heard you
the first time.

Bye, Grace.

Get a load of these
cops though, huh?

This one's kinda hot.

I would try to smash.

Boris?

Boris, where are you?

Oh, there you are, Boris.

Oh...

I understand.

You take good care
of yourself.

And thanks
for being my friend.

Bye.

Grandma, I'm home!

Nora?

Oh!
You're back!

What happened?

It's a long story, but...

Man, I'm happy
to see you, Grandma.

I'm so happy to be home.

Bitch, I cannot believe

you got deported
right as I get here,

and I have to clean up
your shit.

Oh, hi, Grandma.

Hi, Edmund.
Goodbye, Edmund.

Okay.

So, where's your
pigeon friend?

He left.
He wanted to go home too.

Hey, hey, I'm sorry about
my lifestyler bike.

I thought you moved out
so I've been using your room

as a gym.

I forgive that,
but I am gonna move out.

Where you gonna go
this time, huh?

Oh, I know.
Boris left his shoebox.

You could sleep in,
how 'bout that?

No.

I saved enough money
from my Qiancent paycheck

for at least
the first month's deposit

and a couple months' rent.

So... I'm gonna
look around.

Oh, shit.

Grandma, I think she's really
gonna do it this time.

Remember, when a bird
leaves its nest,

it always knows
where its home is.

Oh, you listen
to your grandma.

She knows her shit.

Yeah.
I mean, I love being here,

and... and I missed Queens.

You hear that, Queens?

I love you!
Yeah!

Is that birdshit? Yeah, don't touch that,
that's Boris'.

It's good luck.

And also, what is this?

That's my bouncy-bounce.

Ellen and I use it
for exercise.

We gotta practice
two-sies.

What is two-sies?

Two for one with
our next male prostitute.

Grandma!

Who the
is Awkwafina?