Austin & Ally (2011–2016): Season 4, Episode 6 - Duos & Deception - full transcript

Hey, guys. Guess
what I got for us.

It's a chore wheel.

It will be a fun way for us
to split up the workload.

Ooh! And I thought
chores were fun before.

Come on, we all
have to pitch in.

Plus, the mall facilities inspector
is visiting all the stores this week.

Everything has to be perfect,
or we can get shut down.

Ooh, I'm gonna spin first.

Clean the bathroom?
What's my prize?

This one-of-a-kind toilet brush!

Yes!



Guess who booked big-time celebrity
guests to come to A&A music factory

to talk and perform for
all of our students.

Sorry, too many words.

Let me start over.

I just got off the phone
with Billie and Bobbie!

Billie and Bobbie from
"Billie and Bobbie show"?

They're, like, my
favorite performers ever.

Hey!

Sorry, they're my
second favorite.

You guys are tied for third.

First is the magician who
performed at my family reunion.

He turned my aunt into a dove.

Never did see her again.

Billie and Bobbie are in town to
do a live taping of their TV show,



and I asked them to stop by
to talk to our students.

I know they're this wholesome family
act, but aren't they a little cheesy?

What's cheesy about a brother-sister
duo that tells knock-knock jokes

and sings folk songs about friendship,
sunshine, and sibling love?

Everything?

But hey, you can't deny how
popular Billie and Bobbie are.

Is Billie the brother
or the sister?

- Sister.
- Brother.

- I thought Billie was the brother.
- Isn't Bobbie the brother?

I know how to find out.
Let's watch the theme song.

That clears that up.

So wait, Billie is the...
-Still no clue.

Having fun, Lily?

I can't believe I'm this
close to Billie and Bobbie.

Her hair is even
bigger in real life.

- Knock-knock.
- Who's there?

- Canoe.
- Canoe who?

Canoe tell us if there are any
Billie and Bobbie fans in the house?

- Hey, sister.
- Yeah, brother?

You know what I always wanted?

- My golden curls?
- Oh!

No, really, I always wanted
a cherry red sports car.

I asked for one for my 16th birthday,
but mother wouldn't get it for me.

Oh, well, she got you
a cherry red bicycle.

But none of my dates could
fit in that basket.

Oh!

I don't know how much
more of this I can take.

All this cuteness
is making me sick.

Oh, come on. That one
was kind of funny.

- Everyone, dance with us.
- Come on, get up.

Show us some of your best moves.

This is great. Good job, kids.

- Bye.
- Bye now.

- Hello.
- Hello there.

Okay, I rolled my eyes so many
times today, I'm getting dizzy.

There is no way Billie and Bobbie
are that perky in real life.

Hey, Trish. Aren't you
just a bundle of sunshine?

Thank you so much
for having us here.

You're welcome.

Well, hey.

We wanted to invite y'all
to our live TV show taping

at club-a-dub-dub
tomorrow night.

Oh, wow, thanks.

And thank you so much for coming today.
It meant a lot to the kids.

Oh, that's why we
do what we do...

For the kids.

You guys don't talk like
that all the time, do you?

Like what?

Forget it.

Hey, would you two mind showing
us around your music school?

Sure, we'd love to.

Oh, great. Now they've
got you doing it.

So we have a professional
booth for our singers,

- a studio for our dancers...
- Wow.

A brand-new snack
machine for our eaters.

Ooh, do y'all mind
if I grab an apple?

Oh! A rat!

Oh my gosh, oh my gosh,
this is so embarrassing.

I'm so sorry, bi... Bob... bi...

Girlfriend.

Someone must have forgotten
to clean out the machine.

I did clean it out.

Wow, pretty gross, huh?

You must want to yell
or say a bad word.

Oh, no, she just startled me.

Oh. Aww.

We love animals.

Can we keep him?

Uh, sure?

As long as you keep him
away from our school.

We have an inspection coming
up, and rat infestation...

It will get us shut down.

Oh, well, we wouldn't want that.

Say, what's all this over here?

Our one-of-a-kind
instrument carousel.

Well, how neat. Shall we?

And a-one, and a-two...

Gee willikers!

Is that ketchup and mustard?

I don't get it. I
just cleaned those.

I have never in my entire life
been so completely and utterly...

Here we go.

Amused.

Oh, come on!

Oh, no, really. It just...

It take such a creative mind
to think of a prank like this.

Hey, brother, what do you
say we hit the food court

and think of a great use
for these condiments?

Oh, hey, sister, I think
that's a great idea.

- Okay.
- We will see you all at the show.

Bye.

This place is a mess.

Well, at least the floors
are getting cleaned. Look.

Wait, why are there bubbles
coming from the bathroom?

And why are there more rats
coming from the vending machine?

And why is there an angry man

with the mall facilities inspector
badge standing in the doorway?

What in the world
is going on here?

Nothing much.

What in the world is
going on here with you?

I'm talking about this mess.
This place is a disaster.

And what am I stepping in?

That'll be mustard, sir.

Honey dijon, to be exact.

I know this looks bad, but I promise,
we take our jobs here very seriously.

Well, at least some of us
take our jobs seriously.

Others leave soap in the sink and
forget to turn off the water.

I did turn off the water.

- Or forget to clean the instruments.
- I did clean the instruments.

Oh, right, just like Austin
cleaned out the vending machine.

- I did, I swear.
- Enough.

I'm seeing flooding, filth and an
infestation with disgusting rats.

How dare you to talk about
the Ratsteins like that?

And yes, I named
them the Ratsteins.

Bottom line, this music
school is not up to code,

and I have every right
to shut it down.

No, no, Mr. Inspector Man, sir.

Can I call you Mr.
Inspector Man, sir?

My name's Mr. Schxlumbraugh.

Yeah, I'll stick with "sir."

You're gonna have to
give us another chance.

I don't know what's going on around
here, but we can fix it, I promise.

Fine, you have 48 hours.

Get this place in shape, or say
goodbye to your music school.

Oh, oh.

- Mr. Schlep...
- Hey.

Mr. Schlep... Schlepper...

What is going on in here?

Is someone throwing a
bubble party without us?

Uh, I wish.

We're just stuck cleaning
up this mess of soap suds.

Oh, well, you seem frowny.

Ooh, I bet a song about
bubbles will cheer you up.

I really don't think that's...

- Huh, I actually do feel better.
- Huh.

Oh, well, how did
all of this happen?

Our friend Dez used too much
soap cleaning up the bathroom,

and then he left
the sink running.

And Trish didn't clean the instruments
even though she was supposed to.

Huh. Well, that's a shame.

Here you two are working so
hard to make this school shine,

and all those two
do is bumble it up.

Excuse my language.

Wait, no, it's not like that.
It's...

You know what? Maybe it's time
for y'all to rethink your team.

I mean, we think about
our team every day.

That's what makes us Bobbie and
Billie, like baked beans and chili.

Or chocolate and vanilli.

Well, we're a good team too.

Austin and Ally like...

Milk and a cowie.

Hey, you know what? Why
don't you two go out

and enjoy a nice,
leisurely meal?

And we will stay here and
clean this place up for you.

Oh, no. No, no, we could
never ask you to do that.

You guys have a show
to rehearse for.

No, we insist. Cleaning is actually
one of our favorite things to do.

Oh, let me guess. You guys
have a song about it.

Sure do.

- Oh.
- Well, look at y'all hard at work up here.

Oh, you have no idea.

I've been scrubbing out these
instruments for the past 15 minutes.

And I only took two breaks.

Well, you know, it seems
to me like you two are

are the real heart and
soul of this operation,

you know? And you don't even
get your names on the sign.

I don't need my name on the
side to tell me how great I am.

I tell that to myself every
morning in the mirror.

And I'm sure Austin and Ally tell you
how much they appreciate you, too.

Not really.

But you work so hard.

Yeah, I do, don't I?

I clean the bathrooms, teach
the music video class,

provide comic relief with
my oddball observations.

Well, you know, it
is just such a shame

that you two are so
undervalued, you know?

I mean, here you are,
just working for hours...

Or, like, quarters of hours,

and they are off enjoying
a leisurely lunch.

What?

They're supposed to be
downstairs, cleaning.

Oh, no. I mean, they left.

I supposed they just didn't
really feel the need to pitch in.

That is so strange.

They don't seem like the type
who would take all the credit

without doing their
fair share of the work.

Oh.

Those sneaks.

Taking credit without
doing work is my thing.

Well, you know what
makes us feel better

when a couple of egomaniacs take
advantage of our friendship

and treat us like dirt?

Please be a song.
Please be a song.

- A song.
- Yes!

Save it. I prefer to take
a more direct approach.

- Let's go, Dez.
- Oh.

Goodness.

I'd actually love
to hear a song.

- Dez!
- Gotta go.

Please don't.

Well, well, well,
look who it is.

Didn't expect to see
the two of you here.

You didn't? I thought that's
why we came down here.

I can't believe you guys are
just relaxing in the mall

while Dez and I do all the
work in the music factory.

Yeah, why are you slacking?
The school's a mess,

and inspector Schluchsinbruxin's
is coming in two days.

Slacking? We've been
working non-stop.

And besides, the school
wouldn't be a mess

if you guys had done your
chores in the first place.

- We did do our chores.
- Yeah.

And it's about time you
started appreciating us.

We do appreciate you. You
guys are a huge part

of the success of
the music factory.

We couldn't make it without you!

And we appreciate you!

It's inspiring how much you
do for all of our students!

- Well, we love you guys!
- Then why are we all yelling?

I have no idea!

Look, I know things have been crazy,
but we can't turn on each other.

We have to get
everything back in shape

before the inspector comes,
or we'll get shut down.

Yeah, and then you'll lose all your
students to the b&b music factory.

What's the b&b music factory?

The rival school Billie and
Bobbie are opening up.

What the what?

Lily, what are you
talking about?

Well, I'm not sure
exactly what's going on,

but I've heard Billie
and Bobbie say

they've been sabotaging
the A&A music factory

so that the mall inspector
would shut it down

their plan is to open up their own
school and take all your students away.

So you do know exactly
what's going on.

Huh, I guess I do.

I can't believe Billie and
Bobbie would sabotage us...

The condiments, the bubbles,

the pet rats they planted
in the vending machine.

They're so two-faced... But there's
two of them, so they're four-faced!

Their whole act has been a lie... The
smiles, the sparkles, the jazz hands.

I'm starting to wonder if there's
any real jazz in those hands.

Well, we've got to stop them
before they open up their school.

I say we expose them for
the jerks they really are.

We can do it at their
live taping tomorrow,

out them in front of all
of their fans on live TV.

How? Their goody-goody brother
and sister act is so airtight,

there's no way they'd
show their true colors.

Please, no brother and
sister get along that well.

Trust me, I once died my brother's
hair green while he was sleeping.

Why?

I don't need a reason.

Just follow my lead.
I'll get them to crack.

Wait.

When Billie and Bobbie told me
that I have great fashion sense,

was that a lie too?

Eh, who am I kidding?
I always look great.

Hey, um, do you think
my hair is big enough?

I just sort of feel like it could
be bigger right around like...

Here.

Well, look who it is.

It's bi... Bo...

You.

How is it going, ma'am?

- "Ma'am"?
- Yeah.

Oh, wow, that is just so formal.

Why don't you call
me by my first name?

Maybe next time.

So are you ready for
the big live show?

Oh, you betcha. I
always bubble with joy

whenever I get to
perform for my fans.

Oh, do you have fans here too?

'Cause your brother told us that most
people come to the show for him.

What?

Yeah, since he's the star of the show,
he has most of the fans, right?

Oh, who told you he was
the star of the show?

He did.

He said he's the real talent.

You're just kind of his backup.

He said what now?

She said what now?

Oh, yeah. She told us
this whole duo act

is just a stepping stone for
her to launch her solo career.

And then she went on and on
about your terrible singing.

What did she compare
it to again?

Oh, right. Two seals
having a slap fight.

And I don't even want to tell you
what he said about your dancing...

But I will tell you. He said

it's an embarrassment
to your family.

Why, that no-good, cherry picking, sack
of marshmallows! Excuse my language.

You know what? Fine. I'm gonna go over
there and give her a piece of my mind.

Oh, sounds like it
might have to wait.

The show is about to start.
You need to get on stage.

Whoo!

Well, I guess we
know who's who now.

Knock-knock.

Well, I said, "knock-knock."

Yeah, how about you get the door?
I'm sick of answering it.

Fine! I will answer it!

Knock-knock. Who's there?

Canoe. Canoe who?

Canoe believe that this guy said
that he's a better dancer than me?

All right, you know what?

Everybody knows that
I'm the better singer.

"Happy song." Hit it!

This isn't how it goes.

You know, I like
this version better.

All right, you know what? Stop.
I can't do this anymore.

You think you can do all
of this without me?

Well, then good luck,
because you know what?

- I quit!
- Oh, you quit?

- Well, you can't quit, 'cause I quit!
- Good.

Yeah.

And you can forget about
our little music school

that we were gonna open up, because I
never want to work with you again!

- Well, I never want to even see you again!
- Good!

- Good.
- Grr!

Grr!

Wow, that blew up
quicker than I thought.

Our plan worked.

And now we don't have to worry about
them trying to take down our school.

Does anyone care that there's a live
show going on and no one to perform?

I think it'll be fine.

I gotta say, this
place looks great.

Oh, thank you so much, Mr.
Schluxenberger.

It's Schxlumbraugh.

Why is it so hard for
everyone to say?

It rhymes with Fluxumbraugh.

Anyway, you've officially
passed your inspection,

and you won't be
getting shut down.

Yes!

Hey, can I get a copy of
that report for my parents?

I don't pass tests often.

Sure.

Well, if there's nothing else...

No. Thanks again, Mr.
Schlutzen-blutzen.

Mr. Schluhsen-bluhs...

Mr. Shoshenblux...

Oh, well, if it isn't
Billie and Bobbie.

And Bobbie and Billie.

Hi.

We came to say that we're sorry.

Mother said that we had to get right
down here and offer you an apology pie.

Did you bring any
I'm-sorry ice cream?

I like my apologies a la mode.

No?

We acted like jerks.

You know, we just saw everything
y'all had going for you here,

and I guess we wanted
it for ourselves.

Oh, you can have Dez.

Oh... no, thank you.

Hey, um, before we go, we
have a question for you

and it's just a little
bit embarrassing.

It's just it's been bugging
us since, uh, we met.

Which one of you is Austin and
which one of you is Ally?

Seriously?