Austin & Ally (2011–2016): Season 3, Episode 2 - What Ifs & Where's Austin - full transcript
Ally, Trish and Dez imagine life without Austin.
Subs created by: David Coleman.
Rise and shine, sleepyheads.
Time for Dez's world-famous
tour bus breakfast.
- What time is it?
- I just told you.
Time for Dez's world-famous
tour bus breakfast.
Ah-ha!
Dez!
Every time you cook,
it's a complete mess.
Yesterday, you burnt the toast so
bad, we had to evacuate the bus.
Then you forgot to put a lid on the blender
and splattered smoothies everywhere.
I'm still pulling
blueberries out of my hair.
- Mm.
- Ewe.
Well, no messes today. Now,
how do you want your omelets?
Forget it, Dez. I'm just gonna go to the
diner and get us some breakfast burritos.
Nonsense. I have fresh eggs.
- Whoa!
- Dez! Dez!
Dez, is that a real chicken?!
Dez, where did you get
the chicken from?!
- Give me the chicken.
- What are you doing?
You're picking that up!
- Oh!
- He did say fresh.
You should probably
go to the diner.
♪ When the crowd wants more,
I bring on the thunder.
♪ 'Cause you've got my back,
and I'm not going under.
♪ You're my point,
you're my guard.
♪ You're the perfect chord.
♪ And I see our names
together on every billboard.
♪ We're headed for the
top, we've got it on lock.
♪ We'll make 'em say "hey!"
♪ And we'll keep rockin'.
♪ Oh, there's no way I
could make it without ya.
♪ Do it without ya,
be here without ya.
♪ It's no fun when
you're doing it solo.
♪ With you it's like, "whoa".
Yeah, and I know.
♪ I own this dream.
♪ 'Cause I got you with me.
♪ There's no way I could
make it without ya.
♪ Do it without ya,
be here without ya.
You know what, you guys? I'm a
little worried about Austin.
He should have
been back already.
Oh, that's him now.
Hey, Austin, what's up?
What?! He said there
was an accident.
Are you okay?
Oh no, that's terrible!
- All right, I'll break the news.
- What news? Is he hurt?
No, he tripped and dropped
our breakfast burritos.
Now he has to wait for
them to make new ones.
I'm starving.
You scared me. I thought something
bad happened to Austin.
Me too! I don't know what I'd do without
that blonde-haired little he-devil.
My life would be a
total disaster.
He's my only friend.
But we're your friends too.
Thank you, Ally, but
that doesn't help.
All I'm saying is, I can't
imagine what my life
would be like if me and
Austin had never met.
I love Austin too, but I don't think my
life would have been all that different.
Well, I know he's
completely changed my life.
Before we met, I was just a shy
songwriter with stage fright.
And now look at me.
You don't actually
have to look at me.
My point is, who knows what would
have happened with all of us
if things had turned out
differently that first day we met?
Excuse me.
Excuse me!
Do you not see the "please
do not play the drums" sign?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'll leave now.
Guess who got a job
at Cupcake City.
What happened to your old job?
Oh, I got fired from
the recycling center.
You mean you got canned?
- Get it?
- Unfortunately, I do.
So how's the songwriting coming?
I just wrote a huge hit.
All I have to do is get
over my stage fright
and sing it without
throwing up on everyone.
Yeah, that's not gonna happen.
Don't give up, Ally.
I believe in you.
You're gonna be a
big star one day.
Thanks, Trish.
Look, it's that weird kid from school
who's always filming everything.
Hey, do you guys want
to be my friends?
- I don't have any.
- What a surprise.
My sister says it's because I'm
weird, but I don't believe her.
Ham?
♪ You don't know, know,
know, my name, name, name.
♪ Gonna make, make...
♪ Make you do a double take.
It's good. But if you really
want to make it great...
I need to speed it up?
No, you should slow
it down even more.
Make it soulful.
Here, I'll show you.
Don't touch my book.
Just read the lyrics.
Okay, it should go like this.
♪ You don't know, know,
know, know, know...
♪ My name, name, name, name.
♪ I'm gonna make, make...
♪ Make you do a double take.
You're so talented, Ally.
You're gonna nail that audition I
got you tomorrow with Jimmy Starr.
From Starr Records?
You got me an audition? Wow!
Wait, did you say tomorrow?
I can't sing in front
of him tomorrow.
- I'll throw up on him.
- Oh, you better not.
Ally, this could
be your big break.
But I always freak out when I have
to perform in front of people.
You didn't freak out
in front of me.
- How long have you been there?
- The whole time.
Want to watch me break the world
record for spinning a basketball?
Whoa... sh... I...
We really need to get
that guy a friend.
Okay, this is how you
play Banjo Badminton.
Huh!
Normally, I'd be mad at you, but I am too
nervous about performing for Jimmy Starr.
What's the worst
that could happen?
You yak all over Jimmy, don't get
signed to Starr Records, give up on
your dream and work at your dad's music
store for the rest of your life?
Ally Dawson.
Trish has told me
a lot about you.
I'm excited to hear you perform.
Well, I'm excited to
hear me perform too.
I mean, for you to hear
me while you perform.
I mean, I'll just go play now.
- She's a little nervous.
- Yeah, I can see that.
Who are you?
Oh, he's just some
annoying customer.
Thank you for shopping at
Sonic Boom, now get out.
Hit it, Ally.
That's is a long intro.
I... I... I'm sorry.
I just need to warm up my voice.
Let me do a quick
vocal exercise.
♪ Do, re, mi... Trish can
I talk to you for a sec?
♪ La, ti, do.
Uh, I can't go through with it.
You two have wasted
enough of my time.
Do, re, mi...
I'm leaving now... la, ti, do.
Jimmy, wait.
Ally may have stage fright, but you
can still hire her as a songwriter.
She's amazing.
She's that good, huh?
Oh yeah. She's that good.
What are you doing?
Xylo-grilling. Burger?
Ally, you play. I'll sing.
We'll show him how
great you are.
♪ You don't know, know,
know, know, know.
♪ My name, name, name, name.
♪ Gonna make, make, make, make.
♪ Make you do a double take...
♪ Make you do a double take...
Wow. That song was incredible.
You really liked it?
I more than like it. I think
I just found my newest star.
Trish De La Rosa, I'm signing
you to Starr Records.
- Wait, Trish?
- Really?
I love jumping.
Guess who's famous.
I'm on the cover of "Guess
Who's Famous" magazine.
Ooh!
Can I have your autograph too?
You can just make it out to me.
First name, Dez. Last name...
I don't have time
for last names.
I can't believe you're
famous already.
That was fast.
Starr Records released my song
"Double Take" on the Internet,
and it got over
2,000,000 downloads.
I'm an overnight
Internet sensation.
My first hit song!
This is a dream come true!
Yeah, because of me, millions of
people are hearing your music.
You're welcome.
Uh, thank you?
Look, Trish, I know when
some people get famous,
they start to think that they're
better than everyone else.
Don't worry, Ally. That's
not gonna happen with me.
I've always known I'm
better than everyone else.
So, Trish, did you talk to Jimmy
about me directing your first video?
Of course... not.
But I do have a job for you.
How would you like to be the
personal assistant to a huge star?
You expect me to just
give up my dream of being
a Director to run around
doing errands for you.
You're right. I can't
ask you to do that.
Instead of being my assistant, how
would you like to be my friend?
Yes! I've always wanted one of those!
What do friends do?
They go pick up my dry cleaning.
How fun!
Woo!
So, Ally, we need a new hit. But
can you start writing without me?
I got to go get my nails done.
Oh, so I'm just supposed
to close up Sonic Boom,
drop everything, and write you a song
because I've got nothing better to do?
Perfect.
Uh...
Totally set myself
up for that one.
Guess who's ready
to write a song.
I've been ready for
the past three hours.
That's the spirit.
But first, check out all of
this cool Trish merchandise.
This is Trish's signature
perfume, "De La Rosa".
Rosa, rosa.
Try some.
Oh, oh. It got in my eye.
It got in my eye.
That's why we have
Trish tissue paper.
We call them "Trish-ues".
Look, Trish, we really need
to work on these songs.
Oh, you're right. Dez, leave
us alone for a few hours.
Great! I can finally
work on my movie idea.
It's about a giant
crab who terrorizes...
Yeah yeah yeah,
no time for that.
I need you to go to the store
and buy this stuff for me.
"Big-screen TV, leopard-print
couch, diamond necklace".
Man, having a friend
is expensive.
Okay, this song's
called "finally me".
It's about a girl who
overcame her fears and
can finally show the
world who she truly is.
♪ I've never felt this before.
♪ I'm not afraid anymore.
♪ I'm not afraid anymore.
♪ Been writing words on a page.
♪ Because I got so much to say.
♪ Now, I'm taking the stage.
♪ Whoa-oh.
♪ I'm finally me...
Aw...
I can tell you wrote
that from the heart.
But my fans don't want to hear
that sweet heartfelt junk.
They want to hear
how awesome I am.
Here, I've been working
on some lyrics myself.
We'll use these.
♪ I'm so much better than you.
♪ I'm a 10, you're a two.
♪ I'm a Queen, you're a fool...
♪ I'm throne, you're a stool.
♪ You'll never be this cool.
♪ No, you wish you were me...
Wow.
I know.
They're good, right? Oh,
this one's my favorite.
"I'm a Queen, you're a fool".
- Hey, Dez.
- Hey, Ally.
You look upset.
I think we have
the same problem.
Yep. Trish.
I was gonna say we're both
having a bad hair day.
But I guess the
Trish thing, too.
I just feel like ever since
Trish became famous...
I don't know my best
friend anymore.
Wait, she said you
were her best friend?
She told me, I was her best friend.
Clearly, she lied.
- Oh, I feel terrible, Dez.
- Well, of course you do.
Trish lied to you.
But it's not just
the friendship.
Working with Trish is taking
the fun out of music.
I hear you.
I have to put my film making on hold
because of her, I want to be a Director.
Not some guy who runs
every time Trish calls.
Oh, wait. Hey, Trish,
I'll be right there.
Ah!
Man, I was going for
a world record.
Well maybe instead of spinning a basketball
you should watch where you're going.
I feel like I know you.
I feel like I've known
you my whole life.
Oh, I know. We met
here the other day.
That's right. You yelled at me for
playing drums with corn dogs.
Well, see ya.
Oh! Uh, there you are!
I've been waiting almost
five whole minutes for you.
I waited three hours
for you yesterday.
Yeah, but stars don't wait.
Regular people like you do.
Anyway, did you finish
my new songs yet?
No, listen, Trish...
Since I can't write meaningful
songs for you and...
I'm clearly never gonna
be a performer...
I've lost interest.
So what are you saying?
I'm quitting music...
Forever.
How long have you been here?
The whole time.
Whoa.
- What happened to the practice room?
- I turned it into a chemistry lab.
It's my new hobby since
I gave up songwriting.
Don't touch my science book.
Why did you pick chemistry?
Because, duh, it's totally fun.
See, I pour this blue
liquid into this beaker...
And wait for the
magic to happen.
What's the magic?
In three hours, it turns...
A lighter blue.
I'm getting chills.
So you're really giving up your dream
of making music to become a scientist?
You gave up your dream of directing
to be Trish's assistant.
Oh, hey! I am her friend.
Would an assistant run all her
errands, make all of her meals,
and assist her with everything?
Yes, that's the dictionary
definition of "assistant".
Well...
Since when is the dictionary the
authority on what words mean?
♪ I am so much better than you.
♪ I'm a 10, you're a two.
♪ I'm a 10, you're a two.
♪ I'm a Queen, you're a fool.
I'm a throne, you're a stool.
♪ You'll never be this cool.
♪ No, I sing to you
on this stage.
♪ No, I sing to you
on this stage.
♪ I'm at the top of my game.
♪ I'm at the top of my game.
♪ I'm a star and you're lame.
I am cash, you are change.
♪ You'll never have my fame.
♪ So...
♪ You wish you were me.
♪ Got everything you need.
Got no time for jealousy.
♪ Ah, ah. Yeah, you
wish you were me.
I don't care if you
don't like my song.
You're all just jealous
of my awesome talent.
This concert's over!
Don't forget to buy Trish
merchandise on the way out.
I'm so sorry, Trish.
You should be. That
song was terrible.
Don't blame me. Those
were your lyrics.
Yeah, because you quit on me. I
thought you were my songwriter.
And I thought you
were my friend.
I guess you were both wrong.
Tangy.
Sweet.
Nasty.
Hey, Dez.
I just finished arranging your jelly
beans to bring to your dressing room.
I organized them just how you
like them, fruitiest to tangiest.
I'll do it again.
Uh, don't bother.
The concert's off.
Guess who's not famous anymore.
I'm on the cover of "Guess
Who's Not Famous" magazine.
Well, don't give up. You'll
be on the cover of...
"Guess Who Just Made A
Comeback" magazine in no time.
Nah, I don't think I'm
cut out for this.
Ally's the real talent.
So what are you going to do?
Well, I kind of liked all the
behind-the-scenes stuff...
Booking concerts and
negotiating deals.
Maybe I should become a manager.
Then you just need to
find someone to manage.
Who? Pop stars don't just walk
through the door every day.
Excuse me.
I lost everything, Dez...
My record deal, my fame...
Best friend.
I don't have anybody.
I'm all alone.
You're not all alone.
I'm still here for you.
You're right.
All this time, I thought you
were just my assistant.
But it turns out
you were really...
A friend?
I think we both know you're
more than just a friend.
Our lives would have been
awful without Austin.
- I'd have given up my dream.
- I'd have never become a manager.
I'd have done the most disgusting things
because I was desperate for a friend.
- I can't believe I...
- Kissed me? I know.
I was going to say I can't
believe I gave up directing.
Come on, kissing me isn't the
worst thing in the world.
Yes, Dez. Yes, it is.
I'm so happy to see you.
- Never leave us.
- I don't want to kiss Dez again!
What went on in here?
I was only gone an hour.
I'll explain over a game
of Banjo Badminton.
Come on, friend.
Okay, friend.
Austin, wait.
I'm just going outside.
No, leave the burritos.
I'm starving.
You really think things would
have turned out that way?
We were just
imagining the worst.
We were friends
before we met Austin.
I'd like to think we'd still
be friends without him.
Me too, because kissing Dez wasn't
the worst thing in the world.
Losing my best friend was.
Ha! I knew kissing me wasn't
the worst thing in the world.
And I bubble wrapped all
corners on the bus so
if you bump into anything,
you won't get hurt.
Ooh! Ah!
And I put training wheels on your
skateboard so you won't fall.
And here, I made you an extra-safe
breakfast so you can't choke.
Thanks. I love oatmeal.
Well, that's not oatmeal. It's bacon
and eggs, I pre-chewed it for you.
Guy's you think you're
overdoing it a little?
I mean, I know you're worried, but
nothing's going to happen to me.
I'm sure nothing will.
Whoa!
- I hope he's not hurt.
- I'm sure Austin's fine.
No, I was talking about Clucky.
Clucky!
Rise and shine, sleepyheads.
Time for Dez's world-famous
tour bus breakfast.
- What time is it?
- I just told you.
Time for Dez's world-famous
tour bus breakfast.
Ah-ha!
Dez!
Every time you cook,
it's a complete mess.
Yesterday, you burnt the toast so
bad, we had to evacuate the bus.
Then you forgot to put a lid on the blender
and splattered smoothies everywhere.
I'm still pulling
blueberries out of my hair.
- Mm.
- Ewe.
Well, no messes today. Now,
how do you want your omelets?
Forget it, Dez. I'm just gonna go to the
diner and get us some breakfast burritos.
Nonsense. I have fresh eggs.
- Whoa!
- Dez! Dez!
Dez, is that a real chicken?!
Dez, where did you get
the chicken from?!
- Give me the chicken.
- What are you doing?
You're picking that up!
- Oh!
- He did say fresh.
You should probably
go to the diner.
♪ When the crowd wants more,
I bring on the thunder.
♪ 'Cause you've got my back,
and I'm not going under.
♪ You're my point,
you're my guard.
♪ You're the perfect chord.
♪ And I see our names
together on every billboard.
♪ We're headed for the
top, we've got it on lock.
♪ We'll make 'em say "hey!"
♪ And we'll keep rockin'.
♪ Oh, there's no way I
could make it without ya.
♪ Do it without ya,
be here without ya.
♪ It's no fun when
you're doing it solo.
♪ With you it's like, "whoa".
Yeah, and I know.
♪ I own this dream.
♪ 'Cause I got you with me.
♪ There's no way I could
make it without ya.
♪ Do it without ya,
be here without ya.
You know what, you guys? I'm a
little worried about Austin.
He should have
been back already.
Oh, that's him now.
Hey, Austin, what's up?
What?! He said there
was an accident.
Are you okay?
Oh no, that's terrible!
- All right, I'll break the news.
- What news? Is he hurt?
No, he tripped and dropped
our breakfast burritos.
Now he has to wait for
them to make new ones.
I'm starving.
You scared me. I thought something
bad happened to Austin.
Me too! I don't know what I'd do without
that blonde-haired little he-devil.
My life would be a
total disaster.
He's my only friend.
But we're your friends too.
Thank you, Ally, but
that doesn't help.
All I'm saying is, I can't
imagine what my life
would be like if me and
Austin had never met.
I love Austin too, but I don't think my
life would have been all that different.
Well, I know he's
completely changed my life.
Before we met, I was just a shy
songwriter with stage fright.
And now look at me.
You don't actually
have to look at me.
My point is, who knows what would
have happened with all of us
if things had turned out
differently that first day we met?
Excuse me.
Excuse me!
Do you not see the "please
do not play the drums" sign?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'll leave now.
Guess who got a job
at Cupcake City.
What happened to your old job?
Oh, I got fired from
the recycling center.
You mean you got canned?
- Get it?
- Unfortunately, I do.
So how's the songwriting coming?
I just wrote a huge hit.
All I have to do is get
over my stage fright
and sing it without
throwing up on everyone.
Yeah, that's not gonna happen.
Don't give up, Ally.
I believe in you.
You're gonna be a
big star one day.
Thanks, Trish.
Look, it's that weird kid from school
who's always filming everything.
Hey, do you guys want
to be my friends?
- I don't have any.
- What a surprise.
My sister says it's because I'm
weird, but I don't believe her.
Ham?
♪ You don't know, know,
know, my name, name, name.
♪ Gonna make, make...
♪ Make you do a double take.
It's good. But if you really
want to make it great...
I need to speed it up?
No, you should slow
it down even more.
Make it soulful.
Here, I'll show you.
Don't touch my book.
Just read the lyrics.
Okay, it should go like this.
♪ You don't know, know,
know, know, know...
♪ My name, name, name, name.
♪ I'm gonna make, make...
♪ Make you do a double take.
You're so talented, Ally.
You're gonna nail that audition I
got you tomorrow with Jimmy Starr.
From Starr Records?
You got me an audition? Wow!
Wait, did you say tomorrow?
I can't sing in front
of him tomorrow.
- I'll throw up on him.
- Oh, you better not.
Ally, this could
be your big break.
But I always freak out when I have
to perform in front of people.
You didn't freak out
in front of me.
- How long have you been there?
- The whole time.
Want to watch me break the world
record for spinning a basketball?
Whoa... sh... I...
We really need to get
that guy a friend.
Okay, this is how you
play Banjo Badminton.
Huh!
Normally, I'd be mad at you, but I am too
nervous about performing for Jimmy Starr.
What's the worst
that could happen?
You yak all over Jimmy, don't get
signed to Starr Records, give up on
your dream and work at your dad's music
store for the rest of your life?
Ally Dawson.
Trish has told me
a lot about you.
I'm excited to hear you perform.
Well, I'm excited to
hear me perform too.
I mean, for you to hear
me while you perform.
I mean, I'll just go play now.
- She's a little nervous.
- Yeah, I can see that.
Who are you?
Oh, he's just some
annoying customer.
Thank you for shopping at
Sonic Boom, now get out.
Hit it, Ally.
That's is a long intro.
I... I... I'm sorry.
I just need to warm up my voice.
Let me do a quick
vocal exercise.
♪ Do, re, mi... Trish can
I talk to you for a sec?
♪ La, ti, do.
Uh, I can't go through with it.
You two have wasted
enough of my time.
Do, re, mi...
I'm leaving now... la, ti, do.
Jimmy, wait.
Ally may have stage fright, but you
can still hire her as a songwriter.
She's amazing.
She's that good, huh?
Oh yeah. She's that good.
What are you doing?
Xylo-grilling. Burger?
Ally, you play. I'll sing.
We'll show him how
great you are.
♪ You don't know, know,
know, know, know.
♪ My name, name, name, name.
♪ Gonna make, make, make, make.
♪ Make you do a double take...
♪ Make you do a double take...
Wow. That song was incredible.
You really liked it?
I more than like it. I think
I just found my newest star.
Trish De La Rosa, I'm signing
you to Starr Records.
- Wait, Trish?
- Really?
I love jumping.
Guess who's famous.
I'm on the cover of "Guess
Who's Famous" magazine.
Ooh!
Can I have your autograph too?
You can just make it out to me.
First name, Dez. Last name...
I don't have time
for last names.
I can't believe you're
famous already.
That was fast.
Starr Records released my song
"Double Take" on the Internet,
and it got over
2,000,000 downloads.
I'm an overnight
Internet sensation.
My first hit song!
This is a dream come true!
Yeah, because of me, millions of
people are hearing your music.
You're welcome.
Uh, thank you?
Look, Trish, I know when
some people get famous,
they start to think that they're
better than everyone else.
Don't worry, Ally. That's
not gonna happen with me.
I've always known I'm
better than everyone else.
So, Trish, did you talk to Jimmy
about me directing your first video?
Of course... not.
But I do have a job for you.
How would you like to be the
personal assistant to a huge star?
You expect me to just
give up my dream of being
a Director to run around
doing errands for you.
You're right. I can't
ask you to do that.
Instead of being my assistant, how
would you like to be my friend?
Yes! I've always wanted one of those!
What do friends do?
They go pick up my dry cleaning.
How fun!
Woo!
So, Ally, we need a new hit. But
can you start writing without me?
I got to go get my nails done.
Oh, so I'm just supposed
to close up Sonic Boom,
drop everything, and write you a song
because I've got nothing better to do?
Perfect.
Uh...
Totally set myself
up for that one.
Guess who's ready
to write a song.
I've been ready for
the past three hours.
That's the spirit.
But first, check out all of
this cool Trish merchandise.
This is Trish's signature
perfume, "De La Rosa".
Rosa, rosa.
Try some.
Oh, oh. It got in my eye.
It got in my eye.
That's why we have
Trish tissue paper.
We call them "Trish-ues".
Look, Trish, we really need
to work on these songs.
Oh, you're right. Dez, leave
us alone for a few hours.
Great! I can finally
work on my movie idea.
It's about a giant
crab who terrorizes...
Yeah yeah yeah,
no time for that.
I need you to go to the store
and buy this stuff for me.
"Big-screen TV, leopard-print
couch, diamond necklace".
Man, having a friend
is expensive.
Okay, this song's
called "finally me".
It's about a girl who
overcame her fears and
can finally show the
world who she truly is.
♪ I've never felt this before.
♪ I'm not afraid anymore.
♪ I'm not afraid anymore.
♪ Been writing words on a page.
♪ Because I got so much to say.
♪ Now, I'm taking the stage.
♪ Whoa-oh.
♪ I'm finally me...
Aw...
I can tell you wrote
that from the heart.
But my fans don't want to hear
that sweet heartfelt junk.
They want to hear
how awesome I am.
Here, I've been working
on some lyrics myself.
We'll use these.
♪ I'm so much better than you.
♪ I'm a 10, you're a two.
♪ I'm a Queen, you're a fool...
♪ I'm throne, you're a stool.
♪ You'll never be this cool.
♪ No, you wish you were me...
Wow.
I know.
They're good, right? Oh,
this one's my favorite.
"I'm a Queen, you're a fool".
- Hey, Dez.
- Hey, Ally.
You look upset.
I think we have
the same problem.
Yep. Trish.
I was gonna say we're both
having a bad hair day.
But I guess the
Trish thing, too.
I just feel like ever since
Trish became famous...
I don't know my best
friend anymore.
Wait, she said you
were her best friend?
She told me, I was her best friend.
Clearly, she lied.
- Oh, I feel terrible, Dez.
- Well, of course you do.
Trish lied to you.
But it's not just
the friendship.
Working with Trish is taking
the fun out of music.
I hear you.
I have to put my film making on hold
because of her, I want to be a Director.
Not some guy who runs
every time Trish calls.
Oh, wait. Hey, Trish,
I'll be right there.
Ah!
Man, I was going for
a world record.
Well maybe instead of spinning a basketball
you should watch where you're going.
I feel like I know you.
I feel like I've known
you my whole life.
Oh, I know. We met
here the other day.
That's right. You yelled at me for
playing drums with corn dogs.
Well, see ya.
Oh! Uh, there you are!
I've been waiting almost
five whole minutes for you.
I waited three hours
for you yesterday.
Yeah, but stars don't wait.
Regular people like you do.
Anyway, did you finish
my new songs yet?
No, listen, Trish...
Since I can't write meaningful
songs for you and...
I'm clearly never gonna
be a performer...
I've lost interest.
So what are you saying?
I'm quitting music...
Forever.
How long have you been here?
The whole time.
Whoa.
- What happened to the practice room?
- I turned it into a chemistry lab.
It's my new hobby since
I gave up songwriting.
Don't touch my science book.
Why did you pick chemistry?
Because, duh, it's totally fun.
See, I pour this blue
liquid into this beaker...
And wait for the
magic to happen.
What's the magic?
In three hours, it turns...
A lighter blue.
I'm getting chills.
So you're really giving up your dream
of making music to become a scientist?
You gave up your dream of directing
to be Trish's assistant.
Oh, hey! I am her friend.
Would an assistant run all her
errands, make all of her meals,
and assist her with everything?
Yes, that's the dictionary
definition of "assistant".
Well...
Since when is the dictionary the
authority on what words mean?
♪ I am so much better than you.
♪ I'm a 10, you're a two.
♪ I'm a 10, you're a two.
♪ I'm a Queen, you're a fool.
I'm a throne, you're a stool.
♪ You'll never be this cool.
♪ No, I sing to you
on this stage.
♪ No, I sing to you
on this stage.
♪ I'm at the top of my game.
♪ I'm at the top of my game.
♪ I'm a star and you're lame.
I am cash, you are change.
♪ You'll never have my fame.
♪ So...
♪ You wish you were me.
♪ Got everything you need.
Got no time for jealousy.
♪ Ah, ah. Yeah, you
wish you were me.
I don't care if you
don't like my song.
You're all just jealous
of my awesome talent.
This concert's over!
Don't forget to buy Trish
merchandise on the way out.
I'm so sorry, Trish.
You should be. That
song was terrible.
Don't blame me. Those
were your lyrics.
Yeah, because you quit on me. I
thought you were my songwriter.
And I thought you
were my friend.
I guess you were both wrong.
Tangy.
Sweet.
Nasty.
Hey, Dez.
I just finished arranging your jelly
beans to bring to your dressing room.
I organized them just how you
like them, fruitiest to tangiest.
I'll do it again.
Uh, don't bother.
The concert's off.
Guess who's not famous anymore.
I'm on the cover of "Guess
Who's Not Famous" magazine.
Well, don't give up. You'll
be on the cover of...
"Guess Who Just Made A
Comeback" magazine in no time.
Nah, I don't think I'm
cut out for this.
Ally's the real talent.
So what are you going to do?
Well, I kind of liked all the
behind-the-scenes stuff...
Booking concerts and
negotiating deals.
Maybe I should become a manager.
Then you just need to
find someone to manage.
Who? Pop stars don't just walk
through the door every day.
Excuse me.
I lost everything, Dez...
My record deal, my fame...
Best friend.
I don't have anybody.
I'm all alone.
You're not all alone.
I'm still here for you.
You're right.
All this time, I thought you
were just my assistant.
But it turns out
you were really...
A friend?
I think we both know you're
more than just a friend.
Our lives would have been
awful without Austin.
- I'd have given up my dream.
- I'd have never become a manager.
I'd have done the most disgusting things
because I was desperate for a friend.
- I can't believe I...
- Kissed me? I know.
I was going to say I can't
believe I gave up directing.
Come on, kissing me isn't the
worst thing in the world.
Yes, Dez. Yes, it is.
I'm so happy to see you.
- Never leave us.
- I don't want to kiss Dez again!
What went on in here?
I was only gone an hour.
I'll explain over a game
of Banjo Badminton.
Come on, friend.
Okay, friend.
Austin, wait.
I'm just going outside.
No, leave the burritos.
I'm starving.
You really think things would
have turned out that way?
We were just
imagining the worst.
We were friends
before we met Austin.
I'd like to think we'd still
be friends without him.
Me too, because kissing Dez wasn't
the worst thing in the world.
Losing my best friend was.
Ha! I knew kissing me wasn't
the worst thing in the world.
And I bubble wrapped all
corners on the bus so
if you bump into anything,
you won't get hurt.
Ooh! Ah!
And I put training wheels on your
skateboard so you won't fall.
And here, I made you an extra-safe
breakfast so you can't choke.
Thanks. I love oatmeal.
Well, that's not oatmeal. It's bacon
and eggs, I pre-chewed it for you.
Guy's you think you're
overdoing it a little?
I mean, I know you're worried, but
nothing's going to happen to me.
I'm sure nothing will.
Whoa!
- I hope he's not hurt.
- I'm sure Austin's fine.
No, I was talking about Clucky.
Clucky!