Austin & Ally (2011–2016): Season 3, Episode 13 - Fashion Shows & First Impressions - full transcript

'Sup, guys?

What do you think
of my sweater?!

It only has one arm.

I could take it or "sleeve" it.

Is it just me, or are my
jokes getting better?

It's just you.

I made this sweater
for my Dezzie.

I'm taking a knitting class.

Can you believe this is the
first thing she ever knitted?

What?!

- No way.
- I have eyes.



Well, let's get out
of here, Ally.

It's time to celebrate
our one-month-iversary.

We're going to the
pickle factory.

Isn't Gavin the sweetest?

It must be hard seeing
Ally with someone else.

It was weird at first, but
I'm ready to move on.

I know the perfect girl.

She's tall, sweet,
easy on the eyes.

Sadly, she's taken.

Love you, babe. Boop!

Lucky for you,
Carrie has a sister.

Oh, that's a great idea.
You'd love her.

She's just like me.

Only, kinda forgetful.



Oh, which reminds me, I forgot
to turn off the dishwasher.

I have a feeling her sister's
probably not my type.

Maybe this will
change your mind.

Yeah, definitely not my type.

Are you sure? 'Cause I've met her, and
she's every bit as amazing as Carrie.

Bubbles taste weird.

Ally, I have big news.

Have you ever heard
of Armand Bianchi?

Of course! He's that
celebrity designer

who made that one red carpet
dress out of red carpet.

Well, I got you a
meeting with him.

Wearing one of his dresses
would be great exposure.

Yeah! I could make the
best-dressed list.

Or the worst-dressed list.

But who cares?

As long as you're on the list.

Thanks so much for
setting this up, Trish.

Uh, what's this?

It looks like yarn.

It goes all the way up
to the practice room.

Hey! Who's pulling me?

What's with the sweater shorts?

One leg is shorter
than the other.

Man, I must have unraveled.

I'll go have Carrie fix them.

Should we tell him they're
still unraveling?

He's gonna be in his
underwear any minute.

Meh, he'll find out soon enough.

Ever since Ally and Dez
got in relationships,

I've got no one
to hang out with.

So I'm really glad
we're doing this.

I'm glad we're doing this too.

I really enjoy these moments.

Aww, thanks!

I feel the same way.

Huh?

Oh, sorry, I was talking
to my boyfriend.

Say that again, Jace.

Oh, Jace...

Well, at least I got
you, beach ball.

You'll never leave me.

Aw, come on.

Ow!

Hey! Watch where
you're throwing those.

Sorry.

Ooh.

Whoa.

Hello.

I mean...

'Sup?

I'm Austin.

I know who you are.
I'm a big fan.

I mean, 'sup. I'm Piper.

Some more are coming in.

Those waves are getting big.

Actually, I'm waiting
for them to get bigger.

Really?

Those waves are too
small for you?

Me too.

So, how come I haven't seen
you around here before?

I usually surf by my house.

But there's much better scenery
here, if you know what I mean.

Thanks.

I did some pushups earlier.

I was talking about the
beach, spaghetti arms.

Are you sure you're doing
those pushups right?

Very funny.

You just wanted to touch my arm.

Maybe.

You wanna go surfing tomorrow?

Are you asking me out?

What can I say?

You rode a wave right
into my heart.

Wow.

I hope your surfing's
better than your flirting.

Me too.

So what do you say?

It's a date.

Hey, there's supposed to be some
killer 20-foot waves in the morning.

Great.

Then I'll see you after lunch.

Thanks again for setting
up that meeting.

You know, Armand Bianchi's one
of my favorite designers.

Me too.

Remember that dress he made
out of live snapping turtles?

Yeah.

I wonder if that model
ever got her nose back.

Greetings! Everyone
feeling splendid?

- Did you just say "splendid"?
- Yeah.

I'm going on a date
with this amazing girl.

So I looked up a bunch of new words
to make her think I'm smart.

You all look quite adolescent.

I love it that you're
learning new words.

Maybe next you can
learn what they mean.

You guys are really
gonna like my date.

She's beautiful, she's
funny, she surfs.

Well, does she floss?

'Cause you can tell a lot
about a girl by her gums.

Ahh.

Uh...

Yeah, this one's feisty.

Here she is now!

Guys?

Meet my date.

Piper?

Hey, Carrie.

You guys know each other?

Yeah, she's my sister.

What?

Piper's the kooky girl Dez wanted to
set you up with in the first place?

Wait...

Yeah, I wanted to
set you two up...

But when I showed Austin your picture,
he was all like, "blech! Ugh! Yeesh!"

Really?

So, I wasn't good
enough for you?

No, I... I can explain.

Dez showed me this picture,
and your face was all...

Not like it is now.

That was from "nerd
day" at school.

Well, I'm glad we
cleared that up.

It bothers me that all you
care about are looks.

What if that wasn't a costume?

It could have been real.

Haven't you ever gone
through an awkward phase?

I think we're all feeling a
little awkward right now.

Actually, I'm enjoying myself.

You can forget about
that date, Austin.

I don't wanna go out with
a guy who's this shallow.

I'm not shallow. I just
like pretty girls.

Wait, that sounded bad!

So, where you guys
going on your date?

How can Piper think I'm shallow?

Would a shallow guy spend three hours
making his hair look like this?

Yes, he would.

I spent three hours putting on
this outfit Carrie gave me.

I don't know why
she gave me two.

I think those are socks.

Ohh, that's why it took
me three hours to put on.

How can I show Piper I'm deep?

I love may 10th, when you cried
after seeing that double rainbow.

I fell off my skateboard.

There just happened to be a
double rainbow at the same time.

Forget the rainbows!

Just do something
thoughtful for her.

Find out what she likes
to eat and cook for her.

Yeah! Girls love it when you
care about stuff they like.

Why else would I be wearing
a sock dress all day?

All right. Then I'm gonna be
into whatever Piper's into.

What do you think
she likes to eat?

Carrie said she's a vegan.

And I'm a capricorn.

But what does she like to eat?

Um, no no no no.

- Ahh, you must be Trish.
- Mm-hmm.

Oh, no. Mwah Mwah
Mwah Mwah Mwah Mwah.

Wow, that's a lot of kisses.

Thank you for meeting us, Mr.
Bianchi.

You're our favorite
clothing designer.

Oh, I'm not a designer!

I'm merely a vessel through which pattern
and fashion birth into the universe.

Sounds messy.

Hi, I'm Ally.

- Great to meet you.
- Oh!

Mwah Mwah Mwah Mwah Mwah Mwah...

Oh!

Only six. We just met.

Ally, you are quite beautiful.

How would you...

Like to be my new muse?

Are you serious?

I've never made a
joke in my life.

And besides, I've grown
bored of my former muse.

Jamie, you're boring!

And fired!

I have a show this
weekend, and I'd like you

to wear the crown jewel
of my collection.

Thank you.

This coat is made entirely of feathers
from the exotic jub-jub bird...

A rare and distant
relative of the peacock.

Oh, it's beautiful.

Yes, this fashion show will help
raise money to prevent their...

Extinction.

You know what else would
prevent their extinction?

Not making coats out of them.

I only use the feathers that naturally fall
off the birds in my private sanctuary.

Well, no one's gonna be able
to pull it off like our Ally.

We'll work on that.

Yeah.

I hope you're waxing
up an appetite.

Because I have some
treats for you.

They're pretty delinquent.

I don't think you're
using that word right.

Listen...

I wanna prove to you
that I'm not shallow.

I spent all night
writing you this poem.

"I know I was rude and
came off kinda jerky,

so I made you some food.
Enjoy this tofu Turkey."

It rhymes.

Look, Austin, I already told you
I don't wanna go out with you.

Maybe this will
change your mind.

I heard you're a vegan, so once
I figured out what that meant,

I made you tofu with
carrots, carrot souffle...

Carrot soup, carrot cake...

You realize, they make
other vegetables.

Look, Piper, just give me
a chance to prove myself.

I'll do anything you're into.

Really?

Anything I'm into?

Okay.

Well, for starters, I don't
believe in bottled water.

I... I don't believe
in it either.

But, look, it's real.

I mean, it's not
natural enough for me.

I prefer coconut water.

Straight from the tallest trees.

Um... okay.

I'll be right back.

Hoo!

What are you up to?

You don't drink coconut water.

I know. I'm testing him.

He says he's a genuine guy who's really
into me, and I wanna see how far he'll go.

Ooh, I like that.

It's so delinquent.

Aww!

There's a bird's nest up here!

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow ow!

So, I watched models on TV to
come up with my own runway walk.

I call this "the
fish out of water."

I think we should
throw that one back.

Okay.

How about "the lost tourist"?

Eh, can I give that to her...
some directions?

How about... don't
walk like that?

Okay.

You'll love "the prancing pony."

Ooh!

Oh. Sorry, caveman guy.

Dez, it's me.

Oh.

Piper made me give up
clothes, soap, toothpaste...

Even my hair products.

But your hair was
so perfect before.

It's all you had!

Well, what about my
singing and dancing?

Ooh.

A lot of people sing
and dance, buddy.

So, is Piper gonna
go out with you now?

No.

She still thinks I'm
some shallow guy.

I don't know what else I can do.

She seems to be all about
saving the animals.

Protest this fashion show.

They're using feathers
from endangered animals.

"Armand Bianchi debuts his
one-of-a-kind jub-jub coat."

She'll hate this!

I'll go down there
and hold up a sign.

Oh-ho, no no no no no! Amateur.

You need to think bigger.

Like dump buckets of
paint on all the models.

That's a great idea!

You get Piper there. I'll
take care of the rest.

How about I get Piper there and
you take care of your breath?

Whoo!

Thanks for covering
my shift, Carrie.

I couldn't miss Ally's
first fashion show.

No problem.

You sure you don't wanna
wear my latest knit shirt?

That's a hat.

No. It's a shirt.

I just couldn't get
it over my head.

How's it going, Dez?

I am outraged.

And you will be too, Piper.

Austin found out there are
these poor defenseless birds,

whose feathers are being used to
make coats, pants and skirts.

Ooh, I bet those feather
skirts are cute.

Uh, super cute.

Wait...

I thought you were against
using animals for anything.

Yeah, about that...

Um, I'm not really anti-feather
or anti-soap or anti-leather.

Or antidisestablishmentarianism.

I learned that word
in history class.

I don't know what it means, but
I've been dying to use it.

I was just messing with Austin
to see if he was really into me.

It turns out, he's a
really great guy.

So you completely embarrassed and
humiliated a person just to prove a point?!

I'm gonna stop making him
do all that crazy stuff.

Mm, you should have stopped
him 10 minutes ago.

He's now at the fashion show protesting
the abuse of some weird jub-jub bird.

Did you say jub-jub bird?

Dez, no one's abusing the birds!

The show's raising
money to save them!

And Ally's the starring model.

What?!

Ally's a model?

Have you seen that
girl walk in heels?

Yeah, it's ugly.

Austin's gonna drop buckets of paint
on Ally and the other models.

Oh, I'll call him!

Ooh, that might be a problem.

Austin got rid of his phone when I told
him I didn't believe in technology.

Austin! Austin!

Piper!

I'm so glad you're here.

I'm about to stop this
disgusting fashion show.

You don't have to.

I know.

That's just the kind of
non-superficial guy I am.

I lie awake at night thinking
about those poor jub-jub birds.

Austin, she's been
messing with you.

She's manipulative and deceitful and has
a lot of other great qualities too.

I'm sorry, Austin.

I was just testing you.

I'm not really against
all that stuff.

So, I wore this potato
sack for nothing?

I ate vegetables for nothing!

Well, the vegetables
weren't for nothing.

I am a vegan.

I can't believe this.

I'm just glad we
found you in time.

Now you won't ruin
Ally's fashion show.

Ally's in this?

Oh, no, she's gonna get covered in
paint when this timer goes off!

- Well, turn it off!
- I can't!

Oh...

We have to get her attention.

Ally! Ally!

She thinks we're
cheering her on.

Ally! Ally!

We have five seconds.
Do something.

Look out, Ally!

Saved it.

Ally!

Oh! Oh, my...

My precious angel!
Are you okay?!

I got this, sir. She's
my precious angel.

I was talking about my coat!

Is it... is it ruined?!

Austin, what's going on?

I'll tell you what's going on.

This monster tried to ruin the
most important piece of clothing

hate to interrupt, but you might
wanna yell at me a bit further away.

Huh?

Oh...

Fly, my jub-jub, fly!

Is she safe?

Sorry again for lying to you.

I understand why you
thought I was shallow.

I'm really sorry too.

Can we start over?

I'd like that.

'Sup? I'm Austin.

'Sup? I'm Piper.

Wanna go surfing?

I hear there are some killer
20-foot waves tomorrow morning.

Great.

Then I'll see you after lunch.

Not 'cause I'm
scared of big waves,

'cause it's gonna take me that long
to get my hair looking good again.

Austin, I can't believe it.

I know.

I'm really sorry I
ruined your show.

No.

I mean you and Piper.

I'm really happy for you.

Thanks.

So you're not mad at me
for causing all this?

No. I think it's romantic you made a
fool of yourself to impress a girl.

But I ruined your
modeling debut.

Eh, I'm sure I would have
ruined it sooner or later.

Have you seen me walk in heels?

Ahh.

Oh!

Armand Bianchi saw the knit clothes
you wore at the fashion show,

and wants to feature you
in his next photo shoot.

No way!

But I didn't know
I was that good.

Trust me, none of us did.

I finally get to put my
supermodel good looks to use.