Austin & Ally (2011–2016): Season 2, Episode 12 - Freaky Friends & Fan Fiction - full transcript
Trish talks to her mother and complains about her current job at the old antique shop. After she unintentionally sends a customer off, her current boss, Mr. Gower, tells her to try to sell something- it's either that or get fired. Dez, Austin, and Ally then come into the shop, and Dez asks Trish if she has any typewriters like the one that Ernest Hemmingway wrote on. She shows him "the perfect one", and after he exclaims that he'll win the short story contest with it, his rival, Chuck, enters and says that he'll win. The two have a word war, and Chuck wins. He then flirts with Trish before leaving. Dez then tries out the typewriter., and after using it three times, he is convinced that the typewriter is magical. Trish and Ally, on the other hand, are unconvinced. Even after Ally becomes somewhat convinced, Trish is the last to be convinced- she is only convinced after Dez ends up getting a giant Meatlover's Sub. Dez then does the rest of the gang a few favors- Ally gets a wagon full of books, Trish gets a money tree, and Austin gets a cheerleader girlfriend as well as successfully scoring a goal in basketball. Chuck comes in, and he and Dez once more start a short story wordplay contest. While doing so, however, Dez accidentally reveals to Chuck that the typewriter possesses magical abilities. The gang try to convince Chuck otherwise, but when he walks away, they all worry enough to lock it in the practice room of Sonic Boom. While in the practice room, Austin types up that a giant elephant scares the customers away so that Ally doesn't have to deal with them, and the two then go downstairs. Chuck sneaks in, and after successfully retrieving the magical typewriter, he sneaks away... The next morning, Dez walks into the practice room, and after finding only a cowboy accessory and no typewriter, Dez knows that Chuck has stolen the typewriter. Chuck immediately starts having fun with the typewriter- he makes Dez's fingernails grow super long. Later on, the four meet up, each having been affected by Chuck's typing spree. Dez keeps buying churros that turn into sticks, Ally has purple hair, Austin has purple hair and no longer has his cool dance moves, and Trish has purple hair, her money tree died, and the antique store is no longer her's. After finding Chuck again, they are unsuccessful at getting the typewriter back, seeing as he doesn't have it with him. When the four get back to Sonic Boom, their hair is back to its original color, and they think for a second that maybe they've experienced the worst that Chuck can give to them. They are quickly proven wrong when they all swap bodies- Austin becomes Dez, Dez becomes Austin, Ally becomes Trish, and Trish becomes Ally. They all go through identity crisis- Austin in Dez's body tries to flirt with girls, but since he's Dez, he fails. Lester then comes in, and he hears the voices that are coming out of the wrong bodies. They gang try to convince him that they truly have swapped bodies, but they are unsuccessful. After Trish tries to explain, Trish and Austin both return to the correct bodies, and judging this logic to apply to all of them, Ally in Dez's body hugs Lester. Lester is freaked out; he runs away, screaming. They then resolve to get the typewriter back before Chuck does anything worse than making them switch bodies and having their head face the wrong way. They go to Mini's to confront Chuck once more, but it starts out unsuccessful when both Ally and Trish become smitten with Chuck due to the typewriter. And after Austin tries to get Chuck to stop, he reveals that he'll stop, but only on one condition: that Dez apologizes to Chuck for stealing his original, wacky style. Dez starts to say he's sorry, but it turns out that he's apologizing for the fact that he will never apologize. He then starts to give Chuck ideas- such as the fact that Ally is going to be give a speech for her dad and that Austin has his driver's test- and Chuck disappears, ready to use those situations against the two. As Ally gives her speech, she turns into Abraham Lincoln, and Austin's hands turn into hooves right as he starts his test. The two seemingly unconnected events turn out to become connected once Austin, still attempting to drive, crashes the car into Sonic Boom. Chuck, who is in Sonic Boom, runs to hide from the car, and he and Dez then battle for possession of the typewriter. Dez ultimately wins, and he uses the typewriter to shrink Chuck down- that way, he can never mess with Team Austin ever again.
Okay, you put one hand here
and the other hand here.
Austin, I know how to play.
Oh, yes! I got a horn-in-one.
You rock at Clarinet Golf.
Can I take you out to
dinner to celebrate?
Austin Monica Moon.
Are you asking me out on
our first official date?
Why, yes I am.
Ally... I don't know
your middle name Dawson.
I accept.
And I am never telling
you my middle name.
Great. I want to take you
to Illusions Magic Cafe.
The waiters are magicians, and
your hunger will disappear.
Awesome.
Pick me up at 7:30.
Guess who's the best
manager in the world.
Eh! Time's up. It's me.
I got you a meeting with the producers
of this huge new animated movie.
They want you to pitch them a song,
and if they like it, they'll use it.
Trish, that's awesome.
What's the movie?
It's called "Butch and Bitey".
It's about the friendship
between a stray dog...
And the streetwise flea
that lives on his butt.
Nice.
They sent over all this stuff
for you guys to get inspired.
It's nice that someone's making
an original movie for a change
and not some cheesy
mindless sequel.
Guys, the new "Zaliens"
sequel is coming out!
- Awesome!
- Sweet!
"Zaliens 8: My Brains".
Get it?
It's like they ate my brains,
but it's the number eight.
Man, those movies are genius.
Zalien brain suck!
Woo.
Coming soon? I can't
wait that long.
Well, you won't have to once Trish
and I win tickets to the premiere.
They're having a contest where fans make
a video of their favorite Zaliens scene.
With Dez's awesome directing, and
my amazing acting, we're gonna win.
Did you just compliment Dez?
Uh... what?
You can't prove that.
Or can I?
Zalien brain suck!
Oh, Ally. Leave the brain
sucking to the pros.
♪ When the crowd wants more,
I bring on the thunder.
♪ 'Cause you've got my back,
and I'm not going under.
♪ You're my point,
you're my guard.
♪ You're the perfect chord.
♪ And I see our names
together on every billboard.
♪ We're headed for the
top, we've got it on lock.
♪ We'll make 'em say "hey!"
♪ And we'll keep rockin'.
♪ Oh, there's no way I
could make it without ya.
♪ Do it without ya,
be here without ya.
♪ It's no fun when
you're doing it solo.
♪ With you it's like, "whoa".
Yeah, and I know.
♪ I own this dream.
♪ 'Cause I got you with me.
♪ There's no way I could
make it without ya.
♪ Do it without ya,
be here without ya.
Our first official date.
- How cool is this place?
- So cool.
So, how cool is this
weather we've been having?
Cool.
I mean, it's been really hot,
but it's cool that it's hot.
So, how cool is this fork?
Very cool.
Four prongs.
Woo.
- Is it cool if we stop saying cool?
- Totally... yes.
I'm Al The Magnificent.
I'll be your waiter and
conjurer this evening.
Tonight's specials are the Houdini
Linguini and Sleight of Hamburger.
Well, I'll have the burger,
and the lady will have...
- What do you want, Ally?
- I can order for myself.
- I was just trying to be a gentleman.
- I appreciate it, but...
Sorry.
I'll have the now you seafood
salad, now you don't.
Great. Would you
care for some rolls?
Abracada...
Bread!
Whoa.
Bread?
Sorry sorry sorry.
Hey... my chair is levitating.
Cool.
Hey, Ally.
- Listen, about our date.
- It was weird, right?
I know. It's like we couldn't
even talk to each other.
How cool is this fork?
Very cool.
Even the coolest fork in
the world isn't that cool.
Hey, how cool is
this cash register?
So cool.
What's wrong with us?
I think we're putting too much pressure
on ourselves to be the perfect couple.
You're right.
Let's just work on the
"Butch and Bitey" song.
It's never weird when
we write together.
Yeah. Let's just focus on our music
and everything will be fine.
So, I was thinking the song
should be an emotional ballad.
It's gonna play during the scene
where Butch goes to the pound
and they make him
wear a flea collar.
Bitey almost doesn't make it.
Don't you think the song should
be a little more fun and upbeat?
I mean, it is about a flea
who lives on a dog's butt.
So you don't like my idea?
No, it's great.
What about mine?
Yours is great too.
I'm so happy we're writing music
and it's not awkward anymore.
Yep.
Me too.
So...
How cool is this cash register?
So cool.
Gorlot, give me the
Kanthian Crystal.
Never, Xantu.
Then say good-bye to
your Zalien spawn!
My babies!
My locker!
Cut!
Where are all my books?
- Oh, they're still in there.
- Wha...?
Oh! Ah. Ewe.
My books are all gooey.
Who keeps books in their locker?
- So how'd the date go?
- Oh, it was magical.
As in our waiter pulled the
appetizers out of his sleeve.
The date itself,
kind of awkward.
Sometimes being a
couple changes things.
I know. I was always afraid this
would happen if we started dating.
Do you think we're
making a mistake?
I don't know. On the one hand, you
guys seem perfect for each other.
On the other hand, maybe
you're feeling extra pressure
now that you're boyfriend
and girlfriend.
On the other other hand...
- Enough with the hands.
- Sorry.
What do I do? I really want to
make this work with Austin.
Don't think so much about the
whole relationship thing.
Just go with the flow and
everything will work itself out.
Ready to finish
shooting the scene?
Ooh, I can't. I'm late
for my cousin's wedding.
You're going dressed like that?
Good catch.
Almost forgot my bow tie.
Dez, I gotta talk to you.
Everything's been weird since
Ally and I started dating.
What should I do?
Whoa!
Oh, can I get you to scream like
that again for my Zalien video?
I can never get a girly
scream out of Trish.
Dez, I need to talk to you.
Now that Ally's my girlfriend,
I'm afraid to tell her how I
really feel about her ideas.
Well, you've come
to the right place.
If you've got a problem, go
to the guy with the brains.
I made it for the Zalien movie.
Try some.
Mmm! Good brain.
It's the cinnamon. Totally
masks the taste of pig liver.
Ugh!
Anyway, what should
I do about Ally?
It's simple in the game of love,
one must yield to the whims
of their significant other.
- Huh?
- Dude, just compromise.
Compromise. I can do that.
Thanks for the advice.
Oh, and if you ever find
yourself in trouble,
you can't go wrong with a
cute pet name, Tiger Pancake.
Don't do that again.
So, let's give this song a shot.
Okay. I still think it
should be a sad ballad
about the challenges
Butch and Bitey face
as they escape the pound and pursue
their dreams of opening a taco truck.
What do you think?
Well, uh...
One should yield to the whims
of their significant other.
Dude, just compromise.
Uh...
I really like your idea.
Let's just go with
that, my little...
Goose Pickle.
Sorry.
Austin, I don't want
to "just do that".
We're partners. I want
to hear your ideas too.
Well, I've been riffing on something
a little more fun and rocking.
Butch scratches all day
and itches all night.
Because Bitey lives on his
butt and he loves to bite.
Ow!
What do you think?
Well...
Just go with the flow and
everything will work itself out.
Your idea's great too.
- Yes.
- My little...
Cute nickname.
Sorry.
Why don't we use both our ideas?
We could write a funny...
- And sad...
- But upbeat...
- Yet sentimental...
- Song about the hilarity...
- And tragedy...
- Of living on a dog's butt.
Perfect.
We only have one Zalien
head to blow up,
so we gotta test the explosion
on something else first.
I filled all these up with
exploding capsules, and brain goo.
Great! Let's blow something up then finish
shooting the last part of the scene.
Yes!
I hope you put enough
capsules in that pineapple.
There's gotta be
brains everywhere.
This isn't the first time
I've blown up tropical fruit.
I totally ruined my
cousin's wedding yesterday.
You gotta shake it to activate
the exploding capsules.
We should be safe back here.
You think that explosion was big enough
to get us into the "Zaliens" premiere?
- Woo!
- Oh, yeah.
Whoa. Look at all this stuff.
I can't believe we're
pitching a song for a movie.
I'm just glad we were able to
compromise and finish the song.
Yeah, me too.
It's good, right?
Totally.
- Should we listen to it one more time?
- Yeah.
I'm a dog and you are a flea.
But we get along like family.
Butch scratches all day
and itches all night.
Because Bitey lives on his
butt and he loves to bite.
Ah!
- The song's terrible!
- I know.
We're about to pitch
the worst song ever.
We've never written a song this bad.
How did this happen?
I should have told you I
never liked your idea,
but I didn't say anything because I
didn't want to hurt your feelings.
What, you think I'm too
weak to handle criticism?
My best friend is Trish.
Well, why didn't you
say anything to me?
I thought if I called your ideas
childish, it would hurt your feelings.
So you think I'm childish?
Like some kid who laughs at
butt jokes and plays with toys?
No way! This thing's made
fart noises the whole time?
I gotta show Dez!
Because he is childish.
All right, kids.
You've got five minutes to
convince me to use your song.
Wow me.
Before we get to
the song idea...
I just want to say that I personally
responded to the Bitey character.
She can totally take criticism.
When Butch told Bitey he didn't
like her tacos, Bitey didn't cry.
That flea created the secret
salsa that saved the orphanage!
And when salsa gave all
the orphans bad gas...
Butch didn't laugh like
most normal people would
when hundreds of
babies are farting.
He helped take care of them
because he's not a childish dog.
Woof.
Wow. You kids are real cute.
You've got three minutes
and 45 seconds left.
Can I hear the song?
Woo! That scene was amazing!
We're totally gonna win
the Zalien contest.
I know! I've never seen
so much brain goo.
Want to see more brain goo? We never
blew up all this other stuff.
Let's start with the Butch doll. He
had the most exploding capsules.
Let's do it!
Uh, where's Butch?
You don't think Austin and Ally
took him to the pitch, do you?
As long as they don't shake him,
everything's gonna be fine.
Not only is Butch
mature, he's smart too.
He can...
Fetch, sit, roll over.
And drive a taco truck.
Bitey doesn't do any tricks.
Bitey doesn't need any
tricks because she's tough.
Butch can try to shake her off
his back, but she's unshakable.
What does um, any of this have to do with
you two writing a song for my movie?
Butch is starting to think
that running a taco truck
was way easier before he
and Bitey started dating.
Maybe they shouldn't date because
it's making everything weird,
and affecting their songwriting.
Maybe Butch and Bitey should
just go back to being friends.
Give me that dog!
You know, in all of my years
in the cartoon business,
I have never been involved
in such a ridiculous...
Austin, don't shake the...
Ah, never mind.
So...
How'd the pitch go?
Did you see his face?
I couldn't. It was covered
in Zalien brains.
And Butch goo.
I'm really sorry, Austin.
I don't like how things have been different
between us since we've been dating.
I know. I'm sorry too.
It seems like now
that we're a couple,
we're just too afraid to
hurt each other's feelings.
- You're right.
- You know I don't think you're weak.
And I don't think
you're childish.
You don't have to say that.
I'm totally childish.
I really wanted this to work.
Me too. More than anything.
I just think being together is
getting in the way of us being us.
Things were great
the way they were.
Maybe we're not ready to
be a couple just yet.
Friends?
And partners. Always.
Uh...
This is just as friends, right?
Yeah. Just as friends.
Okay, but don't let go just yet.
I wasn't going to.
Dinner is served.
Whoa.
Did we really order
this much food?
I think that's everything.
Oh, can we get some ketchup?
It's in my other hat.
This place is way more fun
when you're not on a date.
And totally not awkward.
Okay, still a little awkward.
- Guys, we have great news.
- Oh, are you guys on a date?
No. We decided we're not
gonna do that for now.
We're back to just us being us.
And we're really happy.
As long as you guys are happy and
paying for our dinner, I'm happy too.
Well, I'm not happy about it. It's gonna
take me forever to get over this.
- Tell them about the contest!
- Oh, yeah! We won!
We're going to the
"Zaliens" premiere.
- Woo!
- That's so cool.
- Congratulations.
- Show them the video.
Gorlot, give me the
Kanthian Crystal.
Never, Xantu!
Then say good-bye to
your Zalien spawn!
My babies!
Zalien brain suck!
Ah!
No one eats my babies...
But me.
Ready to finish
shooting the scene?
Ooh, I can't. I'm late
for my cousin's wedding.
I hope you put enough brain...
one more time...
Woo! That was amaze...
one more time sorry.
- Austin, don't shake the...
- My hands stuck on the door.
Austin whatever you do don't...
I'm sorry can we do
that one more time?