Austin & Ally (2011–2016): Season 1, Episode 8 - Club Owners & Quinceaneras - full transcript

Okay, off the baby
grand into the tuba.

-Oh yes! -Whoo!

I'll be taking this.

What, there's no playing
ball in the store?

We'll stop playing now. We know
all about your "no fun" rules.

What?

I can have fun. Uh,
I took the ball

'Cause I wanna play.

Grab your bookbags,

You're about to get schooled.

Yeah, no playing
ball in the store.



Guess who's having
a quinceanera?

Oh, I'll take one! Do you
have any chicken quinceanera?

I'm trying to cut
back on red meat.

You're thinking of a quesadilla.

No-oo. Quesadilla

Is a traditional
Latin-American party

Celebrating a girl's
15th birthday.

That's a quinceanera.

And stop trying to
learn other languages.

You can barely speak English.

Trish, I thought you didn't wanna make
a big deal for your 15th birthday.

I don't, but my mom's making me

Because it's a
"family tradition."

I even have to wear this poufy
dress she wore to her quinceanera.



Look.

Hey, there's nothing wrong
with hand-me-downs.

This underwear's been in my
family for six generations.

Ew!

I'm so not looking
forward to this party.

My mom wants to give a speech,

My brother wants to
do his magic act

And my cousin Deb's only coming
to show off her new boyfriend,

"The big club owner."

Whoa whoa whoa, say that again.

I'm so not looking
forward to this party.

- My mom wants to give -No, the
part about the club owner.

Oh, Emilio?

Well, I don't know. I
haven't met him yet.

But apparently he owns like five of
the biggest clubs in the country.

This could be huge for us.

This could be your
first national tour!

Oh, I hope we get
to play in Miami!

We... we live in Miami.

I know, but I love it here.

Listen to you guys. You're
just like everyone else.

You want me to have a quincea? era just
so you can get something out of it.

How selfish is that!

You realize you'll get a
boatload of presents, right?

Guess who's ready to party!

When the crowd wants more

I bring on the thunder

'Cause you've got my back

And I'm not going under

You're my point, you're my guard

You're the perfect chord

And I see our names
together on every billboard

We're headed for the top,
we've got it on lock

We'll make 'em say "hey!"

And we'll keep rockin'

Oh, there's no way I
could make it without ya

Do it without ya,
be here without ya

It's no fun when
you're doing it solo

With you it's like,
"whoa," yeah, and I know

I own this dream

'Cause I got you with me

There's no way I could
make it without ya

Do it without ya,
be here without ya.

Austin & Ally S01E08 Club
Owners & Quinceaneras

Trish, this party is about
your entrance into adulthood.

So you should make a grand
entrance to your party.

I've got some ideas.

Here's you entering
on a motorcycle.

Here's you entering
on a jet ski.

Here's you entering
on an elephant.

I'm not riding a
stupid elephant.

Okay. What about a
smart elephant?

Dez, you're wasting my time.

All right, here's a
much simpler idea.

You swing in over the
crowd on a jungle vine

Like an ape man.

Yeah, that's the stupidest
idea I've ever heard.

Oh, Austin,

When you sing at Trish's party,

Do you wanna swing
in on a jungle vine

Like an ape man?

That's the best idea
I've ever heard!

Hmm, go back to my new job

Or hang out with you two apes?

Back to changing diapers
at the day care it is.

Okay, you pass out the invites on that
side of the mall and I'll get this side.

You're inviting "girl
from jewelry store"?

You don't even know her name.

I know that a pair of diamond earrings
will make a great quinceanera present.

Trish, that's terrible.

Hey, I need something at this
party to look forward to,

Since apparently it's for
everyone else but me.

My annoying brother still wants
me to let him do his magic act.

Did somebody say magic?

Wh...

-J.J.! -So, Trish,

Have you thought about letting
me perform at your birthday?

You can't even do
a simple trick.

Oh, yeah? Watch.

Now with a little abracadabra...

Voila!

I like that trick. Do it again.

Hey, there's Dallas,

The cute boy from the cell
phone accessory cart.

Act normal.

Hey, Dallas. Catch
the game last night?

What game?

Uh...

You are too funny.

Okay.

Hey, Dallas, I'm having a party.

Black tie optional,
gifts mandatory.

Cool. Can't wait.

I can't believe you did that!

Do you really need cell phone
accessories that badly?

No, I invited him 'cause
you have a crush on him.

But if he doesn't bring me
a sparkly cell phone case,

He's not getting dinner.

But he can't come to your party.

I get so nervous around
him, I can barely talk.

You don't have to talk.
Just dance with him.

They'll play a slow song,
you'll touch hands,

Stare into each other's eyes

And boom! Instant boyfriend.

At least that's how it happens
on that reality show,

"boom! Instant boyfriend."

You know I can't dance, Trish.

I'll have better
luck talking to him.

Sorry, I left my
drink on your table.

Or maybe you left our
table under your drink.

I gotta learn how to dance.

Hey, ally, check
these moves out.

I need an awesome performance
at Trish's party

If I'm gonna score
that national tour.

Whassup?

Wow, I wish I could
dance like that.

Trish thinks I can
win Dallas over

If I dance with
him at her party,

But I've only got one good move.

That's your good move?

I must be the worst dancer
in the history of dancing.

Oh, that's not true.

Dancing's been around forever.
There must be someone worse.

Gee, thanks.

Look, don't worry about
dancing with Dallas.

Slow dancing is easy. Just
follow the guy's lead.

Do you think you could show me?

Sure.

-Okay, ready? -Okay.

Right about there.

Oh, sorry, I just
stepped on your foot.

Actually that was your foot.

Just follow me. You can do this.

Hey, I'm getting
the hang of this.

- Okay, now I'm gonna spin you.
- No no no! Oh.

Oh! This is hopeless.

There's no way I'm dancing
at the party tomorrow.

Yeah. And neither am I.

Don't worry, Austin.
Dr. Dez is here.

Rule ♪1 for a sprain...
you've gotta put ice on it.

Ow!

Okay, that doesn't
seem to be working.

Uh, let's try acupuncture.

You know what?

I'm good.

Man, this stinks. How am
I supposed to perform

At Trish's party if I
can't even stand up?

That Emilio guy is never
gonna book me at his clubs.

I've got it!

We already have the jungle
vine for your entrance.

Why don't you do the entire
show flying above the crowd?

The jungle vine thing is cool.

Austin, I am so sorry.

Nobody feels worse
about this than I do.

Well, you probably do because
you have a sprained ankle,

But I'm a close second.

It's okay, ally. Dez
came up with a way

For me to still give
a cool performance.

At least the party won't
be ruined for both of us.

You're still gonna
dance with Dallas.

I'll coach you.
Dez, you be Dallas.

Ally, you be ally.

Aw, I want to be ally.

Dez, we've talked about this.

Fine, I'll be Dallas.

Hey, ally. You
always stare at me

And say weird things.
Wanna dance?

It's not quite how I
imagined the moment,

But okay.

Okay, just follow Dez's lead.

A simple one-two one-two.

You're going too fast!

It's a slow dance.

One, two.

Okay, let's call
it a medium dance.

There you go, ally.
You're doing it!

You're gonna be great
at this party.

Now let's try a spin.

Oh, I love this part!

Wow, Trish's mom
really went all out.

I feel so bad. I forgot
to bring her a present.

I don't think she'll notice.

Do you see Dallas? I can't
wait to dance with him.

I wonder if Emilio is here yet.

I can't wait to show
him my performance.

Why are you wearing
that poufy suit?

You saw Trish's dress.

I thought everyone has
to wear poufy stuff.

Ooh, Trish is about to
make her big entrance.

We want to thank all
our family and friends

For coming to Trish's
quinceanera.

Now introducing the
birthday girl,

Patricia maria de la rosa.

Who?

I thought we were
here for Trish.

I can't wait to see
Trish's new dress.

She didn't wanna wear her mom's

Because it wasn't her style.

Oh, that's much more Trish.

She looks great.

Yeah, zebra
definitely her color.

We're so proud of Trish.
She's such a hard worker.

I remember when she
got her first job

At the bookstore and
then the next day

She got a job at the bakery

And then an hour later she quit
and got a job at the pet shop,

-And... Okay, mom! -oh.

Let's get to the gifts. Whoo!

Honey, it's not
about the presents.

Tonight is a magical night.

Did somebody say magic?

It's time for the
traditional first dance.

Please join Trish and her
father on the dance floor.

Now's your chance to
dance with Dallas.

-I'm nervous. -Don't be.

You were great dancing
yesterday with Dez.

-Just pretend Dallas is Dez.
-A-all right.

-It's just a slow dance.
-Quit stalling.

Stalling? I am not stalling.

"stalling," that's a funny word.

Bet you can't say it 10 times fast...
stalling stalling stalling

-Stalling stalling... ally!

Okay, I'll... I'll ask him,

But this song is almost over.
I'll just have to wait

Until they play
another slow song.

I can't believe they haven't
played another slow song!

It's been two hours, the
party's almost over.

I can't believe Emilio
hasn't shown up yet.

I can't believe how many shrimp
I can fit in my poufy pants.

Austin, Emilio's gonna
be here in 15 minutes.

We only have enough
time to play one song

'Cause we lose this
space at 10:00.

I'll go get the
jungle vine ready.

They're finally
playing a slow song.

Now's your chance to
dance with Dallas.

I'm going.

B-but I don't want
you guys watching.

- I'm already nervous enough.
- Okay, we won't watch.

Uh, hey, Dallas.

Hi, ally.

Fun party, huh?
Listen to this music.

It really puts me
in a dancing mood.

Would you look at that?

Didn't even realize
I was dancing.

Weird, right? Just me...

Dancing...

All by myself.

Okay, this is ridiculous.

Do you wanna dance with me?

No, thanks.

Oh, phew. I don't know
why I was so nervous.

I feel so much...

Wait, did you just say no?

Yeah. Sorry.

Wait up.

Ally, I'm so sorry.

It's okay.

This night isn't about me.

Austin's gonna give
a great performance

And Trish, you got a huge cake
and a table full of presents.

Everything's fine.

Look out!

See? Everything's fine!

Dez, are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

I was testing out the jungle
vine and it accidentally untied.

This is terrible! You
destroyed my presents,

You broke the deejay's turntable

And people are
starting to leave.

By the time Emilio gets here,
everyone's gonna be gone.

I don't want him to see me
perform without an audience.

Get them to stick around for 10 more
minutes while I go talk to ally.

How am I gonna get everyone to stay?
I'm not a magician.

Did somebody say magician?

Fine, you can do your magic.

But no card tricks.

And I will now cut
my sister in half.

Do a card trick.
Do a card trick!

Now with a little abracadabra...

and a little more abracadabra...

Oh.

Voila!

Bravo. Now put me back together.

Yeah, uh,

About that...

Ally, where are you? I've
been looking all over.

Under where?

I just said "underwear."

-I'm under here! -Oh.

-Why are you hiding?
-I'm so embarrassed.

I can't show my face
in front of Dallas.

Forget about him.
He's not that great.

You're right.

I don't even remember
why I like him.

Just because he has dark hair

And kind eyes and a great smile.

Okay, I remember exactly
why I like him.

That guy doesn't know what he's missing.
You're awesome.

Hey, guys.

Austin, Emilio finally got here.

You've gotta sing your song now.

Hang on, I'm talking to ally.

There's no time. They're already
starting to clean this place up.

Oh...

You gonna be okay?

Yeah. Go kick some butt

And get yourself
booked in those clubs.

"making someone disappear,"

"turning someone
into a chicken"...

Nothing on putting
someone back together!

J.J., show's over.
I've gotta perform.

He has to put me back together!

There's no time!

Wh-what about my legs?!

That's Emilio in the green tie.

Thanks.

Hey, everybody, I'm Austin moon!

Thanks for staying... especially
Emilio, the club owner.

I'm gonna sing a song for you.

You know what? Stop.

I really wanted to
sing for you guys,

But there's only
time for one song

And I'd rather spend that time
dancing with one of my best friends.

Aw, man, so sweet.

Not you.

Ally.

Uh...

Austin, what are you doing?

You're missing your
chance with Emilio.

Hey, it's more important that the coolest
girl here finally gets her dance.

Hit it!

Oh, thanks, Austin.
This is so sweet.

Okay, ready? Time for the dip.

Don't worry, you can trust me.

Party's over!

Sorry. You can trust me

When someone doesn't blast
an air horn in my ear.

Thanks for coming!

There better be gift
receipts in those boxes!

Deb, Emilio! You made it.

So sorry, Trish. There was a
problem at one of my clubs.

Some guy got mad
on the 13th hole

And drove a golf
cart into the lake.

Whoa, cool!

You have golf carts and
lakes at your nightclubs?

Nightclubs? I own country clubs.

Oh-hh.

Excuse me, sir. I'm Austin moon.

I'm sorry I didn't get to
perform for you tonight,

But I was really hoping to
play at one of your clubs.

Sure, son. How's 6:00 a.m.
Tomorrow?

I usually don't play
that early, but okay.

Austin, he owns country
clubs, not nightclubs.

Oh-hh.

Yeah, I don't play golf
or get up at 6:00 a.m.

But thanks for the invite.

No problem.

Sorry this night didn't
work out, Austin.

I still had fun. I got to
hang out with my friends,

Eat some shrimp
from Dez's pants.

And I learned a little espanol.

? hola Still in here!

We gotta figure out a way to
put you back together, Trish.

Whoa, not so fast. I gotta
say I like hanging out

With this half of
Trish much better.

Hilarious.

Oof... ow!

Hey, ally.

Oh, hey.

You're a really great dancer.

I could never have pulled that off.
That's why I said no to you.

I mean, I wanted to dance with you.
I just don't know how.

Wait a minute. You can't dance?

-That is amazing! -It is?!

Yeah. I can't dance either.
Look.

Oh, wow. That is pretty bad.

But not worse than this.

Okay okay.

Yeah, or what about...

Well, tonight was a bust.

Looks like I'm not going on a
national tour anytime soon.

Yeah, and all I have
are broken presents.

They are not all broken.

Yeah, they're all broken.

Well, tonight
sounds a total loss

At least Ally came
out the winner

On second thought

Maybe there are no winners.