Are You Being Served? (1972–1985): Season 3, Episode 2 - Coffee Morning - full transcript
Captain Peacock complains when he notices the staff are taking leisurely coffee breaks. After his complaint is reported, management(Mr.Rumbold) orders for a time keeping book in which the staff will "clock in and clock out" whenever they go to coffee, lunch or the washroom. With heavy protest, the staff organize a union, and refuse to acquiesce to managements orders until their demands are met.
( cash register rings )
♪ GROUND FLOOR... PERFUMERY,
STATIONERY, AND LEATHER GOODS ♪
♪ WIGS AND HABERDASHERY
KITCHENWARE AND FOOD... ♪
♪ GOING UP... ♪
♪ FIRST FLOOR... TELEPHONES,
GENTS' READYMADE SUITS ♪
SHIRTS, SOCKS, TIES, HATS,
UNDERWEAR AND SHOES ♪
♪ GOING UP... ♪
♪ SECOND FLOOR... CARPETS,
TRAVEL GOODS AND BEDDING... ♪
YOU READY?
NO, NO, I CAN NIP
IT IN A BIT MORE YET.
( gasps ) NOW!
- WHAT IS IT?
- 77.
OOH, DOESN'T IT
SOUND A LOT IN METRIC?
YES, WELL, YOU PUT ON
FOUR WHATEVER-THEY-ARE'S.
CENTIPEDES, MISS BRAHMS.
WHATEVER THEY ARE, YOU'RE
PUTTING MORE OF THEM ON.
- OF COURSE, IT'S ALL
THE GOVERNMENT'S FAULT.
- HOW DO YOU WORK THAT OUT?
IT'S THIS SUGAR SHORTAGE.
I'VE STOCKED UP SO MUCH
IF I DON'T KEEP EATING IT,
I'LL NEVER GET RID OF IT.
IF YOU KEEP ON LIKE THAT,
YOU'LL BE TOO FAT TO GET
INTO YOUR STORE CUPBOARDS.
I WISH I COULD PUT ON
WEIGHT. I CAN'T UNDERSTAND IT.
YOU KNOW, I HAVE A
BIG MEAL EVERY NIGHT.
I DON'T KNOW HOW
YOU CAN AFFORD IT.
I CAN'T. I HAVE TO KEEP GOING
OUT WITH THESE FELLOWS
I DON'T LIKE, JUST TO KEEP
BODY AND SOUL TOGETHER.
I COULDN'T DO THAT.
IT'S EASY. I WEAR A LOW FROCK,
THEY HAVE A GOOD LOOK
AND I HAVE A GOOD NOSH.
YES, BUT NOWADAYS,
THEY EXPECT SOMETHING
AFTERWARDS, DON'T THEY?
YES, BUT THEY DON'T GET IT.
WHY DO THEY KEEP
ASKING YOU OUT THEN?
IT'S RATHER LIKE
A FRUIT MACHINE.
ONCE THEY'VE MADE
THE INVESTMENT,
THEY KEEP HOPING THEY'RE
GOING TO GET THE JACKPOT.
THEY'D HAVE TO PULL
THE HANDLE A LOT OF TIMES
BEFORE THEY GOT MY CHERRIES UP.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH, SIR.
AND IF THE SOCKS
AREN'T SATISFACTORY,
DON'T HESITATE TO
BRING THEM BACK.
IT WON'T MAKE A
BIT OF DIFFERENCE.
ANYWAY, THE MEAL
COST SEVEN QUID.
I'D BORROWED THIS
CAR TO TAKE HER HOME,
TO BE SURE OF A QUICK
CUDDLE, AND WHAT HAPPENED?
HALF A MILE FROM HER HOUSE,
SHE GETS HER DOORKEY OUT
AND STARTS FEELING FOR
THE PASSENGER DOOR HANDLE.
SHE WAS KEEN TO
MAKE A NIGHT OF IT?
NO, SHE WAS KEEN
TO MAKE A RUN FOR IT.
ANYWAY, I'VE BORROWED THE CAR
AGAIN TONIGHT TO TAKE HER OUT AGAIN.
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
YOU'LL DO BETTER TONIGHT?
I'VE UNSCREWED THE DOOR HANDLE.
OH, FOR THE RETURN
OF THE ROMANTIC AGE,
WHEN ONE'S HEART LEAPT
AT THE SIGHT OF AN ANKLE
SLIPPING INTO A HANSOM CAB.
NOW IT'S CLUNK,
CLICK, STRIP OFF QUICK.
WHERE IS MR. GRAINGER?
HE HASN'T RETURNED FROM HIS
TEA BREAK YET, CAPTAIN PEACOCK.
I SEE.
TELL HIM I WISH TO SEE
HIM, AS SOON AS HE RETURNS.
CERTAINLY, CAPTAIN PEACOCK.
MR. GRAINGER, CAPTAIN
PEACOCK WAS ASKING FOR YOU,
BUT I TOLD HIM YOU HADN'T COME
BACK FROM YOUR TEA BREAK YET,
AND HE SAID HE WANTED A
WORD AS SOON AS YOU RETURNED.
I SEE.
WILL YOU TAKE OVER
FROM ME, MR. HUMPHRIES?
I'M GOING TO HAVE A WORD
WITH CAPTAIN PEACOCK.
CERTAINLY, MR. GRAINGER.
SHALL I TAKE OVER FROM
YOU, MR. HUMPHRIES?
GET STUFFED, MR. LUCAS.
YOU WANTED TO HAVE A
WORD WITH ME, STEPHEN?
YES, MR. GRAINGER.
IT'S 10 PAST 11:00.
YOU'VE HAD 20 MINUTES
FOR YOUR COFFEE BREAK.
YOUR ENTITLEMENT IS 15, HOW
DO YOU ACCOUNT FOR THIS?
I SPENT A FEW MINUTES IN THE
BOYS' ROOM ON MY WAY BACK.
THAT'S NOT PART OF
YOUR COFFEE BREAK.
IT'S THE RESULT OF IT.
FOR FIVE WHOLE MINUTES?
THERE WAS A QUEUE.
I DON'T THINK MR. RUMBOLD WILL
REGARD THAT AS AN ADEQUATE EXCUSE.
YOU DON'T MEAN THAT YOU'RE
GOING TO REPORT ME, STEPHEN?
YES, I AM, MR. GRAINGER.
VERY WELL, CAPTAIN PEACOCK.
I'M SORRY BUT IT'S MY JOB.
YOU MEAN TO BE A SNEAK?
IT'S NOT EASY FOR ME, YOU KNOW.
ON THE ONE HAND WE
HAVE OUR FRIENDSHIP,
AND ON THE OTHER,
I HAVE MY JOB TO DO.
NOW I HAVE TO WEAR TWO HATS.
YOU FIND NO DIFFICULTY IN THAT.
YOU'RE TWO-FACED.
DID YOU HEAR THAT,
MR. HUMPHRIES?
I DID, MR. GRAINGER. SIT HERE.
A GLASS OF WATER
FOR MR. GRAINGER.
DON'T LET HIM DRINK IT ALL AT ONCE...
HE'LL NEED ANOTHER FIVE MINUTES OFF.
THANK YOU SO MUCH, MADAM.
GOOD MORNING.
COME ON, MISS BRAHMS.
BEFORE YOU GO TO
LUNCH, MRS. SLOCOMBE,
I WANT A WORD WITH THE FLOOR
PERSONNEL BY THE CENTER STAND.
I HOPE IT'S IMPORTANT
'CAUSE I'M DYING FOR MY LUNCH.
MISS BRAHMS, EVERYTHING
I HAVE TO SAY IS IMPORTANT.
POMPOUS NIT.
MISS BRAHMS, YOU MUSTN'T
USE LANGUAGE LIKE THAT
ABOUT FLOOR
PERSONNEL IN MY HEARING.
YOU'LL GET LADIES'
UNDERWEAR A BAD NAME.
I WANT A WORD WITH THE FLOOR
PERSONNEL BEFORE YOU ALL GO TO LUNCH.
I HOPE IT WON'T TAKE LONG.
OTHERWISE, MR. HERBERT
OF HARDWARE
WILL HAVE PINCHED MY SEAT.
SOME PEOPLE HAVE ALL THE LUCK.
DO YOU NEED ME?
YES, JUNIORS AS WELL.
NOW, THIS WON'T TAKE A MOMENT.
"FROM THE D.M./C.R.
TO F.W./L. AND
G.D./ S.P. RE: TEA."
CAPTAIN PEACOCK, WHAT
LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING?
IT SIMPLY MEANS, MRS. SLOCOMBE,
"FROM THE D.M. STROKE C.R..."
THE DEPARTMENTAL MANAGER
STROKE CUTHBERT RUMBOLD.
"TO THE F.W. STROKE L.
AND G.D. STROKE S.P..."
TO FLOORWALKERS STROKE LADIES'
AND GENTLEMEN'S DEPARTMENT
STROKE STEPHEN
PEACOCK REGARDING TEA.
WHAT DOES "T" STAND FOR?
IT DOESN'T STAND FOR
ANYTHING. YOU DRINK IT.
T-E-A, TEA.
THEY USE THESE
INITIALS TO SAVE TIME.
IT DOESN'T SEEM TO BE
WORKING VERY WELL, DOES IT?
IT WOULD IF PEOPLE DIDN'T
KEEP ASKING QUESTIONS.
PEOPLE WOULDN'T NEED TO, IF THEY
KNEW WHAT YOU WERE RABBITTING ON ABOUT.
IF I MAY BE ALLOWED TO
CONTINUE, MRS. SLOCOMBE.
OH YES, P.C.O.
I BEG YOUR PARDON?
"PLEASE CARRY ON."
WHERE WAS I?
YOU JUST GOT TO THE BIT WHERE YOU
WERE STROKING CUTHBERT RUMBOLD.
"I SEE YOU ARE..."
YOU'RE NOT STARTING
ON THOSE INITIALS AGAIN?
PLEASE, MRS. SLOCOMBE.
"I SEE YOU ARE CONCERNED
ABOUT EXCESSIVELY LONG
TEA BREAKS BEING ENJOYED
BY MEMBERS OF THE DEPARTMENT
UNDER YOUR SUPERVISION.
I MUST EMPHASIZE THAT THE SAID
BREAKS ARE LIMITED TO 15 MINUTES
AND TO ENSURE NO ONE TAKES
ADVANTAGE OF THIS ARRANGEMENT,
PERSONNEL WILL BE
REQUIRED IN FUTURE
TO ENTER THEIR DEPARTURE
AND ARRIVAL IN A BOOK
TO BE KNOWN AS THE
E.L. AND T.B. BOOK..."
THE ELEVENSES, LUNCH
AND TEA BREAK BOOK.
"VISITS TO THE TOILET
WILL ALSO BE RECORDED...
TO WHICH END I HAVE
PROVIDED A SEPARATE BOOK."
TO BE KNOWN AS THE W.C. BOOK.
IT'S AN OUTRAGE!
ABSOLUTELY! DO
YOU MEAN WE HAVE TO
CLOCK ON AND CLOCK OFF EVERY
TIME WE WANT A CUP OF COFFEE?
THAT IS PRECISELY THE IDEA.
AND EVERY TIME I WANT
TO POWDER MY NOSE,
- I'VE GOT TO STICK IT
INTO A BOOK FIRST?
- THAT IS CORRECT.
WHAT IF IT'S AN EMERGENCY
AND MY BIRO'S RUN OUT?
GET SOMEONE ELSE
TO DO IT FOR YOU.
IT'S NOT THE SAME
AS DOING IT YOURSELF.
GET SOMEONE ELSE
TO SIGN THE BOOK.
IT'S AN INTOLERABLE
INVASION OF PRIVACY.
1984. BIG BROTHER
IS WATCHING YOU.
THEY WON'T BE WATCHING
AS WELL, WILL THEY?
I ONLY HAVE TO ADD THAT THIS
COMES INTO EFFECT IMMEDIATELY.
SO I HOPE YOU'LL ALL BE READY
TO SIGN THE BOOK
BACK HERE SHARP AT 2:00.
EH... HANG ON!
WE'VE SPENT FIVE
MINUTES LISTENING TO YOU.
DO WE GET FIVE MINUTES LONGER?
CUSTOMERS WILL BE COMING IN.
THEY WILL REQUIRE TO BE ATTENDED TO.
WHAT ABOUT OUR FIVE MINUTES?
MISS BRAHMS,
IF YOU ADD UP ALL
THE ODD MINUTES
YOU HAVE TAKEN ON TOP
OF YOUR NORMAL BREAKS,
I THINK THE FIVE MINUTES ARE
MORE THAN DUE TO GRACE BROTHERS.
SIX MINUTES.
I SUGGEST THAT THE WHOLE MATTER
SHOULD BE DISCUSSED OVER LUNCH.
YES, LET'S HAVE A
DISGUSTING LUNCH.
WHO'S THE COCK-A-LEEKIE?
DUMPLINGS.
COALS TO NEWCASTLE.
- WHO'S THE GRAPEFRUIT
COCKTAIL?
- MINE.
WHERE'S THE CHERRY?
I ATE IT. YOU'RE
SUPPOSED TO BE ON A DIET.
I'LL THANK YOU TO LET ME
MAKE MY OWN SACRIFICES.
ONE OPEN SANDWICH!
I DID NOT ASK FOR
AN OPEN SANDWICH.
I'M SORRY, MR. GRAINGER,
BUT SOMEBODY NUDGED ME
IN THE QUEUE AND
THE TOP FELL OFF.
I'LL GO BACK AND
GET IT IF YOU WANT IT.
- I THINK IT FELL BUTTER UP.
- DON'T BOTHER.
YOU'RE BEING BRAVE,
HAVING A SEAFOOD SALAD.
OOOH, SHELLFISH,
THAT'S SUPPOSED
TO MAKE YOU VIRILE.
I DON'T THINK A COUPLE OF
MUSSELS AND A SHRIVELED UP PRAWN
IS GOING TO DO MUCH FOR
MY PERFORMANCE TONIGHT.
WHY? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
HE'S GOT A DATE WITH
A LADY ESCAPOLOGIST.
HE'S TAKEN THE HANDLE
OFF THE CAR DOOR
SO HE CAN BEND HER TO HIS WILL.
I ALWAYS CARRY A TIN OPENER.
DOESN'T THAT TAKE A LONG TIME?
NO, I JAB THEM IN
THE HANDS WITH IT.
MR. GRAINGER'S
STILL GOT THE SCARS.
COULD WE TEAR OURSELVES
AWAY FROM SEX FOR ONE MOMENT
TO DISCUSS THIS
CLOCKING-IN BUSINESS?
I THINK IT WAS QUITE
HUMILIATING, MR. GRAINGER,
THE WAY YOU WERE
TOLD OFF IN FRONT OF US,
- DON'T YOU, MR. LUCAS?
- I DO, MR. HUMPHRIES.
I NEARLY WENT OVER TO CAPTAIN
PEACOCK TO SAY SOMETHING
REALLY SHARP AND WITTY
TO CUT HIM DOWN TO SIZE.
- WHY DIDN'T YOU?
- I COULDN'T THINK
OF ANYTHING.
WHAT ARE WE GOING
TO DO ABOUT IT?
I DON'T THINK YOU AND
MR. GRAINGER SHOULD PUT UP WITH IT.
IT'S NOT JUST US YOU KNOW.
I HOPE I'M UNANIMOUS IN THIS.
IF YOU AND MR. GRAINGER
REFUSE TO SIGN,
THE MANAGEMENT WILL HAVE
TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
YEAH, SACK 'EM.
I AGREE WITH MRS. SLOCOMBE.
I THINK WE SHOULD
ALL REFUSE TO SIGN.
I AGREE. I THINK YOU TWO
SHOULD REFUSE TO SIGN FIRST.
NO.
WE MUST ALL NOT SIGN, TOGETHER.
UNITED WE STAND,
DIVIDED WE FALL.
I WISH I'D THOUGHT OF THAT.
MR. GRAINGER?
YES, CAPTAIN PEACOCK?
WILL YOU COME HERE
A MOMENT, PLEASE?
WE'RE ALL BEHIND
YOU. OFF YOU GO.
"MR. GRAINGER...
RETURNED FROM LUNCH, 14.03."
WOULD YOU SIGN, PLEASE?
I'M SORRY, CAPTAIN PEACOCK,
BUT I MUST REFUSE
TO SIGN YOUR BOOK.
I WILL ASK YOU ONCE
MORE, MR. GRAINGER,
"MR. GRAINGER
RETURNED FROM LUNCH...
14.04."
WILL YOU SIGN, PLEASE?
AGAIN I SHALL REFUSE.
I SEE... "MR. GRAINGER...
REFUSED POINT-BLANK
TO SIGN BOOK... TWICE."
MR. GRAINGER, I SHALL NOW REPORT
YOUR ACTION TO MR. RUMBOLD.
BUT, CAPTAIN PEACOCK, ALL THE
OTHERS REFUSE TO SIGN AS WELL.
ON THE CONTRARY, MR. GRAINGER,
I ONLY ASKED YOU, YOU REFUSED
AND YOU WILL BE REPORTED.
GLASS OF BRANDY
FOR MR. GRAINGER.
WELL DONE, MR. GRAINGER,
THE WAY YOU STOOD UP TO HIM.
WE SHALL ALWAYS
REMEMBER YOU FOR THAT,
MR. GRAINGER, WHEN YOU'VE GONE.
BUT I THOUGHT WE WERE
ALL GOING TO STAND UP TO HIM.
I ONLY HOPE I'LL BE AS BRAVE
AS THAT, WHEN MY TURN COMES.
I THINK YOU ALL OUGHT
TO SIGN SOMETHING
TO SAY THAT YOU WON'T SIGN IT.
DON'T WORRY, MR. GRAINGER,
WE'RE ALL BEHIND YOU.
YES, WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER.
ONLY YOU'RE IN IT A BIT DEEPER.
( phone buzzes )
( deep voice ) MENSWEAR?
( normal ) YES,
MR. GRAINGER IS HERE. I SEE.
MR. GRAINGER, YOU'RE WANTED IN
MR. RUMBOLD'S OFFICE IMMEDIATELY.
GOOD LUCK, MR. GRAINGER.
AND REMEMBER, WE'RE BEHIND YOU.
BUT I THINK WE SHOULD
ALL GO TOGETHER.
HE'S ONLY SENT
FOR THE RINGLEADER.
I'M NOT THE RINGLEADER!
I JUST HAPPENED TO BE THE
FIRST ONE OUT OF THE LIFT.
( phone buzzes )
MENSWEAR?
YES, YES, HE'S ON HIS WAY.
RUMBOLD'S FURIOUS
YOU'RE KEEPING HIM WAITING.
BETTER HURRY, MR. GRAINGER,
YOU DON'T WANT TO GET A
REPUTATION FOR ALWAYS BEING LATE.
YOU WILL ALL BACK
ME UP, WON'T YOU?
IF YOU DON'T LOOK SHARP, YOU
WON'T BE HERE FOR US TO BACK UP.
YOU KNOW, I THINK
HE WENT TOO FAR
DEFYING CAPTAIN
PEACOCK LIKE HE DID.
WE DID ALL AGREE
NOT TO SIGN TOGETHER.
WELL, COURSE, WE WOULDN'T HAVE
SIGNED THE FIRST TIME HE ASKED,
AS A PROTEST, BUT WE WOULD
HAVE DONE THE SECOND TIME.
I THINK HE WENT TOO FAR...
MIND YOU, I'M STILL BEHIND HIM.
OH, YES, WE'RE ALL BEHIND HIM.
ONLY NOT SO CLOSE.
HAVE YOUR NOTEPAD
READY, MISS AINSWORTH.
I SHALL EXPECT A VERBATIM
REPORT OF EVERYTHING
- THAT'S SAID
AT THIS MEETING.
- ( knocking )
COME IN!
I BELIEVE YOU WANTED A
WORD WITH ME, MR. RUMBOLD.
I'VE BEEN WAITING FIVE MINUTES TO
HAVE A WORD WITH YOU, MR. GRAINGER.
I CAME AS QUICKLY AS I COULD.
DO YOU RECOGNIZE THIS BOOK?
YES, I THINK SO.
TAKE EVERYTHING
DOWN, MISS AINSWORTH.
I'VE TAKEN EVERYTHING
DOWN. "KNOCK, KNOCK, COME IN.
I BELIEVE YOU WANTED A
WORD WITH ME, MR. RUMBOLD.
I'VE BEEN WAITING FIVE MINUTES TO
HAVE A WORD WITH YOU, MR. GRAINGER.
I CAME AS QUICKLY AS I COULD.
DO YOU RECOGNIZE THIS BOOK?
YES, I THINK SO. TAKE EVERYTHING
DOWN, MISS AINSWORTH.
I'VE TAKEN EVERYTHING DOWN."
YOU DON'T PUT DOWN WHAT YOU SAY.
YES, SIR. SHALL I PUT THAT DOWN?
NO, NO, LET'S START AGAIN.
- "KNOCK, KNOCK. COME IN..."
- PLEASE!
MISS AINSWORTH, BE QUIET.
NOW, MR. GRAINGER,
DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU
REFUSED TO SIGN THIS BOOK?
WE ALL REFUSED.
I'M AFRAID THAT'S NOT TRUE.
I ONLY ASKED MR. GRAINGER.
BUT THEY WERE ALL BEHIND ME.
I SEE... LED BY YOU.
I'M AFRAID IT SEEMS CLEAR WE
MUST MAKE AN EXAMPLE IN THIS CASE.
I'M AFRAID SO.
ONE ROTTEN APPLE CAN
SPOIL THE WHOLE BARREL.
I WOULD LIKE TO SAY,
IN MR. GRAINGER'S DEFENSE,
THAT HE HAS NEVER
BEEN A ROTTEN APPLE.
THANK YOU, CAPTAIN PEACOCK.
UNTIL TODAY.
( knocking )
- COME IN.
- I'M IN.
I WISH YOU'D WAIT
UNTIL I SAY "COME IN,"
BEFORE YOU COME IN. I'M HAVING
AN IMPORTANT MEETING HERE.
SHALL I GO OUT AGAIN THEN?
NO, NO, PUT IT DOWN.
SHALL I PUT THAT DOWN?
NO, I DON'T WANT THAT PUT DOWN.
- WHAT SHALL I DO
WITH IT THEN?
- PUT IT DOWN.
I THOUGHT YOU SAID
DON'T PUT IT DOWN.
I DON'T WANT YOU TO
PUT DOWN "PUT IT DOWN."
I'M GOING TO PUT IT DOWN. AS FAR AS
I'M CONCERNED, YOU CAN STICK IT UP.
DON'T PUT THAT
DOWN, MISS AINSWORTH.
NOW, WHERE WERE WE?
"NEVER BEEN A ROTTEN APPLE
IN THE BARREL. UNTIL TODAY."
AH, YES. MR. GRAINGER,
FOR THE FOUR MINUTES
UNAUTHORIZED ABSENCE,
I'M DEDUCTING 25p
FROM YOUR PAY PACKET,
PLUS A FURTHER 25p
FOR REFUSING TO SIGN THIS BOOK.
COULD I SIGN NOW
AND SAVE THE 25p?
I'M AFRAID NOT. CAPTAIN
PEACOCK'S REMARKS
TAKE UP THE PLACE WHERE
YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO SIGN.
THAT IS ALL, MR. GRAINGER.
THE MATTER IS CLOSED.
W-WH-WHAT ABOUT THE OTHERS?
THAT IS ALL, MR. GRAINGER.
THE MATTER IS CLOSED.
I THINK IT'S DISGRACEFUL,
YOU HAVING TO PAY 50p. I
SHOULDN'T STAND FOR IT.
NO, YOU SHOULD
STAND UP FOR YOURSELF
AND TELL THEM WHERE TO GET OFF.
YEAH, WE'RE BEHIND YOU.
I'D PREFER TO FORGET IT.
IT'S ALL BEEN MOST UNPLEASANT.
WE SHOULD ALL CHIP IN
AND PAY MR. GRAINGER'S FINE.
AFTER ALL, IT'S ONLY 10p EACH.
AH, BUT... HE WAS FINED 25p
FOR BEING LATE, AND
25p FOR NOT SIGNING.
WE'RE ONLY SUPPORTING
HIM FOR NOT SIGNING,
SO WE SHOULD ONLY PAY HALF.
HOLD ON, HOLD ON, HOLD ON.
THERE'S A PRINCIPLE
INVOLVED HERE, ISN'T THERE?
BROTHER GRAINGER
IS BEING VICTIMIZED
'CAUSE HE STOOD UP
FOR HIS RIGHTFUL RIGHTS.
IT'S ONLY FAIR THAT WE
SHOULD STAND UP FOR HIM.
THIS IS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU,
MR. MASH. GET BACK TO YOUR BASEMENT.
IT HAS EVERYTHING TO DO
WITH ME, BROTHER SLOCOMBE.
I AM SHOP STEWARD.
AND IN THAT CAPACITY,
I AM CONVENING AN
EMERGENCY MEETING
IN ACCORDANCE WITH
SECTION 23 OF THE RULE BOOK.
- CAN WE DO THAT?
- OF COURSE WE CAN.
- WHAT ABOUT THE CUSTOMERS?
- HAVE TO WAIT.
IT COMES TO A HALT WHEN
THE BROTHERS SAY SO.
IT'S JUST LIKE THE MAFIA...
AND THE COSY NOSTRIL.
ARE YOU FREE, MR. GRAINGER?
COMING, CAPTAIN PEACOCK.
- DON'T MOVE, BROTHER.
- BUT, CAPTAIN PEACOCK...
HE CAN'T TOUCH US ONCE I'VE
CONVENED AN EMERGENCY MEETING.
- WE ARE SACROSANCT.
- IS THAT TRUE?
THAT IS TRUE, BROTHER HUMPHRIES.
"BROTHER HUMPHRIES," OH!
DOESN'T IT BRING YOU CLOSE
WHEN YOU HAVE A UNION?
I CALLED YOU, MR. GRAINGER.
I'VE BEEN CONVENED.
GET OFF THE FLOOR, MASH!
UNLESS YOU WANT EVERYBODY
OUT FROM HERE TO HARRODS,
I WOULD NOT USE THAT
TONE OF VOICE, PEACOCK.
NOW THEN,
WE ARE GATHERED
HERE TODAY, BROTHERS,
TO CONSIDER THE CASE
OF BROTHER E. GRAINGER.
SO YOU'RE BEHIND THIS, GRAINGER.
NO, WE'RE ALL BEHIND IT.
AS I SEE IT, WE'VE GOT
TWO THINGS TO DECIDE...
WHAT WE WANT AND HOW
WE ARE GOING TO GET IT.
I'M NOT SURE WHAT WE WANT.
YOU'RE LUCKY YOU'VE
GOT ME THEN, AIN'T YER?
FIRSTLY, WE WANT TO REMOVE
THE STIGMATA ATTACHED
TO BROTHER GRAINGER.
OH, IT SOUNDS LIKE THE EXORCIST.
AND SECONDLY, ON
THE TIME ELEMENT,
WE WANT TO BE FREE AND
UNRESTRICTED IN THE CLOAKROOM.
I'LL SECOND THAT.
AND THIRDLY, WE
WANT A REAPPRAISAL
OF THE WHOLE ARCHAIC
COFFEE BREAK SYSTEM,
BRINGING IT INTO LINE WITH
CURRENT INDUSTRIAL PRACTICE.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
"WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?"
THAT MEANS, BROTHER,
THAT UNLESS THE MANAGEMENT
MEET OUR DEMANDS,
WE TAKE ACTION AND IF THAT
DON'T WORK, WE'LL ESCALATE.
Lucas: HEAR, HEAR.
NOW, YOU'VE WASTED
ENOUGH TIME, MASH.
EVERYBODY BACK TO WORK.
YOU'RE OUT OF ORDER,
BROTHER PEACOCK,
AND I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE
TO REPRIMAND YOU AGAIN.
NOW THEN, AS I SEE IT,
THE MAIN POINT TO HOLD
OUT FOR IS TRAVELING TIME
TO AND FROM THE TEA BREAKS.
YOUR TEA SHOULD START
NOT WHEN YOU LEAVE HERE,
NOT WHEN YOU GET IN THE LIFT,
NOT WHEN YOU STAND IN
THE QUEUE AT THE COUNTER,
NOT EVEN WHEN YOU PAY FOR IT.
YOUR TEA SHOULD START
WHEN YOU SIT DOWN
AND ACTUALLY DIP
YOUR BISCUIT IN THE CUP.
OOOH, DOESN'T HE SPEAK WELL?
THANK YOU, BROTHER.
I AM NOW ABOUT TO PUT
A MOTION ON THE TABLE.
SOME OF THE PHRASES ARE STRANGE.
I MOVE THAT THIS MEETING
AUTHORIZES ME TO PUT
OUR DEMANDS BEFORE MANAGEMENT,
AND TO FORM A STRIKE COMMITTEE
WITH CARTE BLANCHE TO
TAKE INDUSTRIAL ACTION.
HANDS UP, THOSE FOR THE MOTION.
JOLLY GOOD.
ALL THOSE AGAINST.
YOU CAN'T VOTE,
YOU'VE GOT NO STANDING.
- I'M IN THIS UNION.
- WHERE'S YOUR CARD?
- I LEFT IT AT HOME.
- THAT MAKES YOU
OUT OF ORDER THEN.
- HAVE THEY GOT CARDS?
- THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT.
- I VOTE WE SHOW CARDS.
- YOU CAN'T VOTE WE SHOW CARDS
UNLESS YOU SHOW YOUR
CARD. CARRIED UNANIMOUSLY.
( blows raspberry )
I CAN TELL YOU NOW, MASH,
THERE IS POSITIVELY NO CHANCE
OF US AT GRACE BROTHERS
ACCEDING TO YOUR DEMANDS.
I SEE. IS THAT YOUR
FINAL WORD, SIR?
ABSOLUTELY. THE
MANAGEMENT STANDS FIRM
BEHIND ITS AGREEMENT OF 1928.
ARE YOU SAYING,
SIR, THAT HENCEFORTH
THERE IS NO POINT IN US
HAVING MEANINGFUL DISCUSSIONS
AND THE HELPFUL
EXCHANGE OF VIEWS?
NONE WHATEVER.
THEN GET STUFFED!
DON'T PUT THAT
DOWN, MISS AINSWORTH.
THAT'S IT THEN, BROTHERS.
FROM THIS MOMENT
IN TIME, IT'S GO SLOW.
BUT IT'S ONLY THREE
MINUTES BEFORE WE GO HOME.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT. GO
SLOW RIGHT UP TO THE BELL.
THAT'S NOT GOING TO BE
EASY WITHOUT ANY CUSTOMERS.
IN MY OFFICIAL CAPACITY
AS SHOP STEWARD, PEACOCK,
I AM ORDERING YOU TO GO SLOW.
HOLD THAT, MRS. SLOCOMBE.
AS FROM NOW ON, IT'S GO SLOW.
BUT IF I DON'T GET THESE
COVERS ON QUICK, I'LL MISS MY BUS.
- LEAVE 'EM.
- BUT MY UNDIES WILL
GET ALL SMUTTY.
SO LET 'EM GET SMUTTY.
I'M NOT THAT KIND OF PERSON.
AND I CAN'T SELL
SMUTTY UNDERWEAR.
SO THE MANAGEMENT, THROUGH
THEIR INTRACTABLE ATTITUDE,
- WILL LOSE MONEY.
- AND I'LL LOSE MY COMMISSION!
WE'VE ALL GOT TO MAKE
SACRIFICES, BROTHER.
NOT WHEN I'M SAVING FOR
MY HOLIDAYS, WE DON'T.
- ( bell ringing )
- DON'T FORGET, BROTHERS,
WHEN YOU ARRIVES IN
THE MORNING, IT'S GO SLOW.
I DON'T LIKE THIS
UNION THING AT ALL.
IT SEEMS TO BE GOING TOO FAR.
YOU STARTED IT, BROTHER.
( elevator dings )
( chatting )
I TELL YOU, BROTHERS,
I'M REALLY PROUD OF YOU.
THE GO SLOW THIS MORNING
WAS 100% EFFECTIVE.
I THINK WE'VE PUT THE WIND
UP THE MANAGEMENT, ALL RIGHT.
AND IF YOU DON'T GO SLOW
ON THAT APPLE CRUMBLE,
YOU'LL GET THE WIND
UP SOMEWHERE ELSE.
I THINK MR. GRAINGER
WENT SLOW BEAUTIFULLY.
I COULDN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE.
I KNOW WE'RE ALL BEHIND
THE UNION, MR. HUMPHRIES,
BUT I MUST SAY THAT
I DO THINK 10 MINUTES
IS RATHER A LONG TIME
TO SPEND ON AN INSIDE LEG.
ESPECIALLY AS THE CUSTOMER
ONLY CAME IN FOR A PAIR OF GLOVES.
WELL, MY END HAS
BEEN A DISASTER.
YOUR END ALWAYS WAS.
MR. LUCAS, IF WE
WEREN'T SUPPOSED
TO BE UNITED IN A COMMON CAUSE,
I WOULD BAT YOUR EARHOLE.
I HAD THIS RUSSIAN LADY
ATHLETE IN THIS MORNING.
I TOOK SO LONG
FITTING HER FOR A BRA,
SHE LEFT ME HER
ADDRESS IN VLADIVOSTOCK.
LET'S FACE IT... IT HASN'T
BEEN A SUCCESS, HAS IT?
I DON'T THINK
PEACOCK EVEN NOTICED.
IN THAT CASE, WE'LL
HAVE TO ESCALATE.
- Humphries: HOW?
- Miss Brahms: WHAT'S THAT?
ONE OF THE WAYS TO
BRING OUR GRIEVANCES
TO THE ATTENTION
OF THE HIERARCHY
IS TO BUNG UP THE LOOS
WITH PLASTER OF PARIS.
WOULDN'T THAT RATHER
BE CUTTING OFF OUR NOSES
TO SPITE OUR FACES?
- THEN WE CAN GO LIGHTNING.
- WHAT'S THAT?
YOU DROP EVERYTHING
WITHOUT WARNING.
OH, I DON'T LIKE
THE SOUND OF THAT.
WE ALL SEEM TO BE
GETTING SO MILITANT
AND EXTREMIST.
YES, I CAN ALMOST SMELL
REDS UNDER THE BEDS.
THERE ARE NO REDS UNDER
MY BED, MR. GRAINGER.
NO, NOR MINE. MIND
YOU... I LOOK EVERY NIGHT.
I'VE GOT IT.
WE'LL HIJACK THE LIFT
AND KEEP RUMBOLD
INSIDE WITH US UNTIL THE
MANAGEMENT ACCEDE TO OUR DEMANDS.
MISS BRAHMS AND I REFUSE
TO BE COOPED UP IN THE LIFT
FOR DAYS WITH
HALF A DOZEN MEN...
EXCEPT AS A LAST RESORT.
IT MIGHT BE YOUR LAST CHANCE.
OUR LAST CHANCE...
SORRY, MRS. SLOCOMBE.
Mash: BROTHERS, THERE'S
ONLY ONE THING FOR IT.
BUNG UP THE LOOS,
FOLLOWED BY A LIGHTNING SIT IN.
- WHAT? IN THE LOOS?
- NO, ON THE FLOOR.
AND IF THAT DON'T WORK,
IT'S A WALKOUT AND PICKETS.
I HAVE BEEN HERE
FOR OVER 30 YEARS
AND I REFUSE TO PICKET.
- WE'RE ONLY
DOING IT FOR YOU.
- WHAT?
YES, IF YOU HADN'T BEEN
SO INSUFFERABLY RUDE
TO CAPTAIN PEACOCK, WE
WOULDN'T BE IN THIS MESS.
- Mash: RIGHT.
- I THINK WE OUGHT
TO VOTE ON IT.
NO VOTE NEEDED. YOU GIVE ME CARTE
BLANCHE BY A DEMOCRATIC MAJORITY.
COME ON, THEN.
LET'S GET DOWN TO THE SHOP FLOOR
AND CONFRONT THE MANAGEMENT.
I HAVEN'T FINISHED
MY COFFEE YET.
WELL, COME ON, THEN.
OH, THIS REALLY IS TOO BAD.
IT'S FOUR MINUTES PAST 2:00.
ALL THE OLD VALUES ARE
DISAPPEARING, YOU KNOW.
IS THIS WHAT WE
FOUGHT FOR AT DUNKIRK?
WERE YOU AT DUNKIRK?
NO...
I JUST WONDERED IF
THIS IS WHAT THE PEOPLE
WHO WERE AT DUNKIRK FOUGHT FOR.
WE DON'T HAVE ANYBODY WHO
FOUGHT AT DUNKIRK, DO WE?
NEVER MIND.
AH, HERE THEY ARE.
AS DEMOCRATICALLY
ELECTED SPOKESMAN,
I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT UNLESS
THE MANAGEMENT MEETS
OUR DEMANDS, WE ARE ALL OUT.
THE MANAGEMENT WILL NOT
NEGOTIATE UNDER INTIMIDATION.
I'M NOT INTIMIDATING YOU, MATE.
IF I WAS INTIMIDATING YOU,
YOU'D GET A BUNCH OF
FIVES RIGHT UP YOUR HOOTER.
DON'T LET ME LOSE MY
TEMPER, CAPTAIN PEACOCK.
NO, PLEASE, CARRY ON, SIR.
I'M LIKE A WILD ANIMAL
WHEN I'M ROUSED.
DID YOU HEAR THAT?
HE THREATENED ME.
GOOD AFTERNOON, EVERYBODY.
GOOD AFTERNOON, MR. GRACE.
I'VE GOT A COPY OF
YOUR MEMO, RUMBOLD,
ABOUT THE TEA BREAK.
YES, WELL, FURTHER TO THAT, SIR,
THE WORKERS ARE CLAIMING
THAT THEIR TEA BREAK
SHOULDN'T COMMENCE
UNTIL THEY ACTUALLY GET
THE COFFEE IN THEIR HANDS.
AND WE'LL GET IT. WE'RE
BEHIND MR. GRAINGER IN THIS, SIR.
IT WASN'T JUST ME, SIR.
Mash: WE ARE NOT TRAVELING UP
AND DOWN IN YOUR ROTTEN OLD LIFT,
TO YOUR ROTTEN OLD
CANTEEN, IN OUR OWN TIME, SIR.
THAT'S QUITE RIGHT.
THE LIFTS ARE NOT UP TO IT.
MY TEA BREAK BEGINS
WHEN MY TEA'S HANDED TO ME,
AND WHAT'S GOOD ENOUGH
FOR ME IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU.
THAT'S IT, BROTHERS, WE'VE WON.
THAT'S THE POWER OF THE UNION.
WELL... I'M VERY
GLAD I HELD OUT.
WELL DONE, MR. GRAINGER.
WE WERE ALL BEHIND YOU.
SO IN FUTURE,
YOUR TEA WILL BE HANDED TO YOU.
GODDARD!
NOW YOU WON'T HAVE TO LEAVE
THE DEPARTMENT AT ALL.
CARRY ON, EVERYBODY.
YOU'VE ALL DONE VERY WELL.
THANK YOU, MR. GRACE.
OOH, PAPER CUPS.
AND YOU KNOW, I ALWAYS RATHER
ENJOYED MY WALK TO THE CANTEEN.
YES, AND I ENJOYED
MY RIDE UP IN THE LIFT.
I SHAN'T SEE MY FRIEND
BEHIND THE COUNTER.
NEVER MIND, BROTHERS,
WE'VE WON A GREAT VICTORY.
AND LOST OUR TEA BREAK!
MR. MASH.
CAPTAIN PEACOCK?
( blows raspberry )
( theme music plays )
♪ GROUND FLOOR... PERFUMERY,
STATIONERY, AND LEATHER GOODS ♪
♪ WIGS AND HABERDASHERY
KITCHENWARE AND FOOD... ♪
♪ GOING UP... ♪
♪ FIRST FLOOR... TELEPHONES,
GENTS' READYMADE SUITS ♪
♪ SHIRTS, SOCKS, TIES, HATS,
UNDERWEAR AND SHOES ♪
♪ GOING UP... ♪
♪ SECOND FLOOR... CARPETS,
TRAVEL GOODS AND BEDDING ♪
♪ MATERIAL, SOFT FURNISHINGS
RESTAURANT AND TEAS ♪
♪ GOING DOWN. ♪
♪ GROUND FLOOR... PERFUMERY,
STATIONERY, AND LEATHER GOODS ♪
♪ WIGS AND HABERDASHERY
KITCHENWARE AND FOOD... ♪
♪ GOING UP... ♪
♪ FIRST FLOOR... TELEPHONES,
GENTS' READYMADE SUITS ♪
SHIRTS, SOCKS, TIES, HATS,
UNDERWEAR AND SHOES ♪
♪ GOING UP... ♪
♪ SECOND FLOOR... CARPETS,
TRAVEL GOODS AND BEDDING... ♪
YOU READY?
NO, NO, I CAN NIP
IT IN A BIT MORE YET.
( gasps ) NOW!
- WHAT IS IT?
- 77.
OOH, DOESN'T IT
SOUND A LOT IN METRIC?
YES, WELL, YOU PUT ON
FOUR WHATEVER-THEY-ARE'S.
CENTIPEDES, MISS BRAHMS.
WHATEVER THEY ARE, YOU'RE
PUTTING MORE OF THEM ON.
- OF COURSE, IT'S ALL
THE GOVERNMENT'S FAULT.
- HOW DO YOU WORK THAT OUT?
IT'S THIS SUGAR SHORTAGE.
I'VE STOCKED UP SO MUCH
IF I DON'T KEEP EATING IT,
I'LL NEVER GET RID OF IT.
IF YOU KEEP ON LIKE THAT,
YOU'LL BE TOO FAT TO GET
INTO YOUR STORE CUPBOARDS.
I WISH I COULD PUT ON
WEIGHT. I CAN'T UNDERSTAND IT.
YOU KNOW, I HAVE A
BIG MEAL EVERY NIGHT.
I DON'T KNOW HOW
YOU CAN AFFORD IT.
I CAN'T. I HAVE TO KEEP GOING
OUT WITH THESE FELLOWS
I DON'T LIKE, JUST TO KEEP
BODY AND SOUL TOGETHER.
I COULDN'T DO THAT.
IT'S EASY. I WEAR A LOW FROCK,
THEY HAVE A GOOD LOOK
AND I HAVE A GOOD NOSH.
YES, BUT NOWADAYS,
THEY EXPECT SOMETHING
AFTERWARDS, DON'T THEY?
YES, BUT THEY DON'T GET IT.
WHY DO THEY KEEP
ASKING YOU OUT THEN?
IT'S RATHER LIKE
A FRUIT MACHINE.
ONCE THEY'VE MADE
THE INVESTMENT,
THEY KEEP HOPING THEY'RE
GOING TO GET THE JACKPOT.
THEY'D HAVE TO PULL
THE HANDLE A LOT OF TIMES
BEFORE THEY GOT MY CHERRIES UP.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH, SIR.
AND IF THE SOCKS
AREN'T SATISFACTORY,
DON'T HESITATE TO
BRING THEM BACK.
IT WON'T MAKE A
BIT OF DIFFERENCE.
ANYWAY, THE MEAL
COST SEVEN QUID.
I'D BORROWED THIS
CAR TO TAKE HER HOME,
TO BE SURE OF A QUICK
CUDDLE, AND WHAT HAPPENED?
HALF A MILE FROM HER HOUSE,
SHE GETS HER DOORKEY OUT
AND STARTS FEELING FOR
THE PASSENGER DOOR HANDLE.
SHE WAS KEEN TO
MAKE A NIGHT OF IT?
NO, SHE WAS KEEN
TO MAKE A RUN FOR IT.
ANYWAY, I'VE BORROWED THE CAR
AGAIN TONIGHT TO TAKE HER OUT AGAIN.
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
YOU'LL DO BETTER TONIGHT?
I'VE UNSCREWED THE DOOR HANDLE.
OH, FOR THE RETURN
OF THE ROMANTIC AGE,
WHEN ONE'S HEART LEAPT
AT THE SIGHT OF AN ANKLE
SLIPPING INTO A HANSOM CAB.
NOW IT'S CLUNK,
CLICK, STRIP OFF QUICK.
WHERE IS MR. GRAINGER?
HE HASN'T RETURNED FROM HIS
TEA BREAK YET, CAPTAIN PEACOCK.
I SEE.
TELL HIM I WISH TO SEE
HIM, AS SOON AS HE RETURNS.
CERTAINLY, CAPTAIN PEACOCK.
MR. GRAINGER, CAPTAIN
PEACOCK WAS ASKING FOR YOU,
BUT I TOLD HIM YOU HADN'T COME
BACK FROM YOUR TEA BREAK YET,
AND HE SAID HE WANTED A
WORD AS SOON AS YOU RETURNED.
I SEE.
WILL YOU TAKE OVER
FROM ME, MR. HUMPHRIES?
I'M GOING TO HAVE A WORD
WITH CAPTAIN PEACOCK.
CERTAINLY, MR. GRAINGER.
SHALL I TAKE OVER FROM
YOU, MR. HUMPHRIES?
GET STUFFED, MR. LUCAS.
YOU WANTED TO HAVE A
WORD WITH ME, STEPHEN?
YES, MR. GRAINGER.
IT'S 10 PAST 11:00.
YOU'VE HAD 20 MINUTES
FOR YOUR COFFEE BREAK.
YOUR ENTITLEMENT IS 15, HOW
DO YOU ACCOUNT FOR THIS?
I SPENT A FEW MINUTES IN THE
BOYS' ROOM ON MY WAY BACK.
THAT'S NOT PART OF
YOUR COFFEE BREAK.
IT'S THE RESULT OF IT.
FOR FIVE WHOLE MINUTES?
THERE WAS A QUEUE.
I DON'T THINK MR. RUMBOLD WILL
REGARD THAT AS AN ADEQUATE EXCUSE.
YOU DON'T MEAN THAT YOU'RE
GOING TO REPORT ME, STEPHEN?
YES, I AM, MR. GRAINGER.
VERY WELL, CAPTAIN PEACOCK.
I'M SORRY BUT IT'S MY JOB.
YOU MEAN TO BE A SNEAK?
IT'S NOT EASY FOR ME, YOU KNOW.
ON THE ONE HAND WE
HAVE OUR FRIENDSHIP,
AND ON THE OTHER,
I HAVE MY JOB TO DO.
NOW I HAVE TO WEAR TWO HATS.
YOU FIND NO DIFFICULTY IN THAT.
YOU'RE TWO-FACED.
DID YOU HEAR THAT,
MR. HUMPHRIES?
I DID, MR. GRAINGER. SIT HERE.
A GLASS OF WATER
FOR MR. GRAINGER.
DON'T LET HIM DRINK IT ALL AT ONCE...
HE'LL NEED ANOTHER FIVE MINUTES OFF.
THANK YOU SO MUCH, MADAM.
GOOD MORNING.
COME ON, MISS BRAHMS.
BEFORE YOU GO TO
LUNCH, MRS. SLOCOMBE,
I WANT A WORD WITH THE FLOOR
PERSONNEL BY THE CENTER STAND.
I HOPE IT'S IMPORTANT
'CAUSE I'M DYING FOR MY LUNCH.
MISS BRAHMS, EVERYTHING
I HAVE TO SAY IS IMPORTANT.
POMPOUS NIT.
MISS BRAHMS, YOU MUSTN'T
USE LANGUAGE LIKE THAT
ABOUT FLOOR
PERSONNEL IN MY HEARING.
YOU'LL GET LADIES'
UNDERWEAR A BAD NAME.
I WANT A WORD WITH THE FLOOR
PERSONNEL BEFORE YOU ALL GO TO LUNCH.
I HOPE IT WON'T TAKE LONG.
OTHERWISE, MR. HERBERT
OF HARDWARE
WILL HAVE PINCHED MY SEAT.
SOME PEOPLE HAVE ALL THE LUCK.
DO YOU NEED ME?
YES, JUNIORS AS WELL.
NOW, THIS WON'T TAKE A MOMENT.
"FROM THE D.M./C.R.
TO F.W./L. AND
G.D./ S.P. RE: TEA."
CAPTAIN PEACOCK, WHAT
LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING?
IT SIMPLY MEANS, MRS. SLOCOMBE,
"FROM THE D.M. STROKE C.R..."
THE DEPARTMENTAL MANAGER
STROKE CUTHBERT RUMBOLD.
"TO THE F.W. STROKE L.
AND G.D. STROKE S.P..."
TO FLOORWALKERS STROKE LADIES'
AND GENTLEMEN'S DEPARTMENT
STROKE STEPHEN
PEACOCK REGARDING TEA.
WHAT DOES "T" STAND FOR?
IT DOESN'T STAND FOR
ANYTHING. YOU DRINK IT.
T-E-A, TEA.
THEY USE THESE
INITIALS TO SAVE TIME.
IT DOESN'T SEEM TO BE
WORKING VERY WELL, DOES IT?
IT WOULD IF PEOPLE DIDN'T
KEEP ASKING QUESTIONS.
PEOPLE WOULDN'T NEED TO, IF THEY
KNEW WHAT YOU WERE RABBITTING ON ABOUT.
IF I MAY BE ALLOWED TO
CONTINUE, MRS. SLOCOMBE.
OH YES, P.C.O.
I BEG YOUR PARDON?
"PLEASE CARRY ON."
WHERE WAS I?
YOU JUST GOT TO THE BIT WHERE YOU
WERE STROKING CUTHBERT RUMBOLD.
"I SEE YOU ARE..."
YOU'RE NOT STARTING
ON THOSE INITIALS AGAIN?
PLEASE, MRS. SLOCOMBE.
"I SEE YOU ARE CONCERNED
ABOUT EXCESSIVELY LONG
TEA BREAKS BEING ENJOYED
BY MEMBERS OF THE DEPARTMENT
UNDER YOUR SUPERVISION.
I MUST EMPHASIZE THAT THE SAID
BREAKS ARE LIMITED TO 15 MINUTES
AND TO ENSURE NO ONE TAKES
ADVANTAGE OF THIS ARRANGEMENT,
PERSONNEL WILL BE
REQUIRED IN FUTURE
TO ENTER THEIR DEPARTURE
AND ARRIVAL IN A BOOK
TO BE KNOWN AS THE
E.L. AND T.B. BOOK..."
THE ELEVENSES, LUNCH
AND TEA BREAK BOOK.
"VISITS TO THE TOILET
WILL ALSO BE RECORDED...
TO WHICH END I HAVE
PROVIDED A SEPARATE BOOK."
TO BE KNOWN AS THE W.C. BOOK.
IT'S AN OUTRAGE!
ABSOLUTELY! DO
YOU MEAN WE HAVE TO
CLOCK ON AND CLOCK OFF EVERY
TIME WE WANT A CUP OF COFFEE?
THAT IS PRECISELY THE IDEA.
AND EVERY TIME I WANT
TO POWDER MY NOSE,
- I'VE GOT TO STICK IT
INTO A BOOK FIRST?
- THAT IS CORRECT.
WHAT IF IT'S AN EMERGENCY
AND MY BIRO'S RUN OUT?
GET SOMEONE ELSE
TO DO IT FOR YOU.
IT'S NOT THE SAME
AS DOING IT YOURSELF.
GET SOMEONE ELSE
TO SIGN THE BOOK.
IT'S AN INTOLERABLE
INVASION OF PRIVACY.
1984. BIG BROTHER
IS WATCHING YOU.
THEY WON'T BE WATCHING
AS WELL, WILL THEY?
I ONLY HAVE TO ADD THAT THIS
COMES INTO EFFECT IMMEDIATELY.
SO I HOPE YOU'LL ALL BE READY
TO SIGN THE BOOK
BACK HERE SHARP AT 2:00.
EH... HANG ON!
WE'VE SPENT FIVE
MINUTES LISTENING TO YOU.
DO WE GET FIVE MINUTES LONGER?
CUSTOMERS WILL BE COMING IN.
THEY WILL REQUIRE TO BE ATTENDED TO.
WHAT ABOUT OUR FIVE MINUTES?
MISS BRAHMS,
IF YOU ADD UP ALL
THE ODD MINUTES
YOU HAVE TAKEN ON TOP
OF YOUR NORMAL BREAKS,
I THINK THE FIVE MINUTES ARE
MORE THAN DUE TO GRACE BROTHERS.
SIX MINUTES.
I SUGGEST THAT THE WHOLE MATTER
SHOULD BE DISCUSSED OVER LUNCH.
YES, LET'S HAVE A
DISGUSTING LUNCH.
WHO'S THE COCK-A-LEEKIE?
DUMPLINGS.
COALS TO NEWCASTLE.
- WHO'S THE GRAPEFRUIT
COCKTAIL?
- MINE.
WHERE'S THE CHERRY?
I ATE IT. YOU'RE
SUPPOSED TO BE ON A DIET.
I'LL THANK YOU TO LET ME
MAKE MY OWN SACRIFICES.
ONE OPEN SANDWICH!
I DID NOT ASK FOR
AN OPEN SANDWICH.
I'M SORRY, MR. GRAINGER,
BUT SOMEBODY NUDGED ME
IN THE QUEUE AND
THE TOP FELL OFF.
I'LL GO BACK AND
GET IT IF YOU WANT IT.
- I THINK IT FELL BUTTER UP.
- DON'T BOTHER.
YOU'RE BEING BRAVE,
HAVING A SEAFOOD SALAD.
OOOH, SHELLFISH,
THAT'S SUPPOSED
TO MAKE YOU VIRILE.
I DON'T THINK A COUPLE OF
MUSSELS AND A SHRIVELED UP PRAWN
IS GOING TO DO MUCH FOR
MY PERFORMANCE TONIGHT.
WHY? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
HE'S GOT A DATE WITH
A LADY ESCAPOLOGIST.
HE'S TAKEN THE HANDLE
OFF THE CAR DOOR
SO HE CAN BEND HER TO HIS WILL.
I ALWAYS CARRY A TIN OPENER.
DOESN'T THAT TAKE A LONG TIME?
NO, I JAB THEM IN
THE HANDS WITH IT.
MR. GRAINGER'S
STILL GOT THE SCARS.
COULD WE TEAR OURSELVES
AWAY FROM SEX FOR ONE MOMENT
TO DISCUSS THIS
CLOCKING-IN BUSINESS?
I THINK IT WAS QUITE
HUMILIATING, MR. GRAINGER,
THE WAY YOU WERE
TOLD OFF IN FRONT OF US,
- DON'T YOU, MR. LUCAS?
- I DO, MR. HUMPHRIES.
I NEARLY WENT OVER TO CAPTAIN
PEACOCK TO SAY SOMETHING
REALLY SHARP AND WITTY
TO CUT HIM DOWN TO SIZE.
- WHY DIDN'T YOU?
- I COULDN'T THINK
OF ANYTHING.
WHAT ARE WE GOING
TO DO ABOUT IT?
I DON'T THINK YOU AND
MR. GRAINGER SHOULD PUT UP WITH IT.
IT'S NOT JUST US YOU KNOW.
I HOPE I'M UNANIMOUS IN THIS.
IF YOU AND MR. GRAINGER
REFUSE TO SIGN,
THE MANAGEMENT WILL HAVE
TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
YEAH, SACK 'EM.
I AGREE WITH MRS. SLOCOMBE.
I THINK WE SHOULD
ALL REFUSE TO SIGN.
I AGREE. I THINK YOU TWO
SHOULD REFUSE TO SIGN FIRST.
NO.
WE MUST ALL NOT SIGN, TOGETHER.
UNITED WE STAND,
DIVIDED WE FALL.
I WISH I'D THOUGHT OF THAT.
MR. GRAINGER?
YES, CAPTAIN PEACOCK?
WILL YOU COME HERE
A MOMENT, PLEASE?
WE'RE ALL BEHIND
YOU. OFF YOU GO.
"MR. GRAINGER...
RETURNED FROM LUNCH, 14.03."
WOULD YOU SIGN, PLEASE?
I'M SORRY, CAPTAIN PEACOCK,
BUT I MUST REFUSE
TO SIGN YOUR BOOK.
I WILL ASK YOU ONCE
MORE, MR. GRAINGER,
"MR. GRAINGER
RETURNED FROM LUNCH...
14.04."
WILL YOU SIGN, PLEASE?
AGAIN I SHALL REFUSE.
I SEE... "MR. GRAINGER...
REFUSED POINT-BLANK
TO SIGN BOOK... TWICE."
MR. GRAINGER, I SHALL NOW REPORT
YOUR ACTION TO MR. RUMBOLD.
BUT, CAPTAIN PEACOCK, ALL THE
OTHERS REFUSE TO SIGN AS WELL.
ON THE CONTRARY, MR. GRAINGER,
I ONLY ASKED YOU, YOU REFUSED
AND YOU WILL BE REPORTED.
GLASS OF BRANDY
FOR MR. GRAINGER.
WELL DONE, MR. GRAINGER,
THE WAY YOU STOOD UP TO HIM.
WE SHALL ALWAYS
REMEMBER YOU FOR THAT,
MR. GRAINGER, WHEN YOU'VE GONE.
BUT I THOUGHT WE WERE
ALL GOING TO STAND UP TO HIM.
I ONLY HOPE I'LL BE AS BRAVE
AS THAT, WHEN MY TURN COMES.
I THINK YOU ALL OUGHT
TO SIGN SOMETHING
TO SAY THAT YOU WON'T SIGN IT.
DON'T WORRY, MR. GRAINGER,
WE'RE ALL BEHIND YOU.
YES, WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER.
ONLY YOU'RE IN IT A BIT DEEPER.
( phone buzzes )
( deep voice ) MENSWEAR?
( normal ) YES,
MR. GRAINGER IS HERE. I SEE.
MR. GRAINGER, YOU'RE WANTED IN
MR. RUMBOLD'S OFFICE IMMEDIATELY.
GOOD LUCK, MR. GRAINGER.
AND REMEMBER, WE'RE BEHIND YOU.
BUT I THINK WE SHOULD
ALL GO TOGETHER.
HE'S ONLY SENT
FOR THE RINGLEADER.
I'M NOT THE RINGLEADER!
I JUST HAPPENED TO BE THE
FIRST ONE OUT OF THE LIFT.
( phone buzzes )
MENSWEAR?
YES, YES, HE'S ON HIS WAY.
RUMBOLD'S FURIOUS
YOU'RE KEEPING HIM WAITING.
BETTER HURRY, MR. GRAINGER,
YOU DON'T WANT TO GET A
REPUTATION FOR ALWAYS BEING LATE.
YOU WILL ALL BACK
ME UP, WON'T YOU?
IF YOU DON'T LOOK SHARP, YOU
WON'T BE HERE FOR US TO BACK UP.
YOU KNOW, I THINK
HE WENT TOO FAR
DEFYING CAPTAIN
PEACOCK LIKE HE DID.
WE DID ALL AGREE
NOT TO SIGN TOGETHER.
WELL, COURSE, WE WOULDN'T HAVE
SIGNED THE FIRST TIME HE ASKED,
AS A PROTEST, BUT WE WOULD
HAVE DONE THE SECOND TIME.
I THINK HE WENT TOO FAR...
MIND YOU, I'M STILL BEHIND HIM.
OH, YES, WE'RE ALL BEHIND HIM.
ONLY NOT SO CLOSE.
HAVE YOUR NOTEPAD
READY, MISS AINSWORTH.
I SHALL EXPECT A VERBATIM
REPORT OF EVERYTHING
- THAT'S SAID
AT THIS MEETING.
- ( knocking )
COME IN!
I BELIEVE YOU WANTED A
WORD WITH ME, MR. RUMBOLD.
I'VE BEEN WAITING FIVE MINUTES TO
HAVE A WORD WITH YOU, MR. GRAINGER.
I CAME AS QUICKLY AS I COULD.
DO YOU RECOGNIZE THIS BOOK?
YES, I THINK SO.
TAKE EVERYTHING
DOWN, MISS AINSWORTH.
I'VE TAKEN EVERYTHING
DOWN. "KNOCK, KNOCK, COME IN.
I BELIEVE YOU WANTED A
WORD WITH ME, MR. RUMBOLD.
I'VE BEEN WAITING FIVE MINUTES TO
HAVE A WORD WITH YOU, MR. GRAINGER.
I CAME AS QUICKLY AS I COULD.
DO YOU RECOGNIZE THIS BOOK?
YES, I THINK SO. TAKE EVERYTHING
DOWN, MISS AINSWORTH.
I'VE TAKEN EVERYTHING DOWN."
YOU DON'T PUT DOWN WHAT YOU SAY.
YES, SIR. SHALL I PUT THAT DOWN?
NO, NO, LET'S START AGAIN.
- "KNOCK, KNOCK. COME IN..."
- PLEASE!
MISS AINSWORTH, BE QUIET.
NOW, MR. GRAINGER,
DO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU
REFUSED TO SIGN THIS BOOK?
WE ALL REFUSED.
I'M AFRAID THAT'S NOT TRUE.
I ONLY ASKED MR. GRAINGER.
BUT THEY WERE ALL BEHIND ME.
I SEE... LED BY YOU.
I'M AFRAID IT SEEMS CLEAR WE
MUST MAKE AN EXAMPLE IN THIS CASE.
I'M AFRAID SO.
ONE ROTTEN APPLE CAN
SPOIL THE WHOLE BARREL.
I WOULD LIKE TO SAY,
IN MR. GRAINGER'S DEFENSE,
THAT HE HAS NEVER
BEEN A ROTTEN APPLE.
THANK YOU, CAPTAIN PEACOCK.
UNTIL TODAY.
( knocking )
- COME IN.
- I'M IN.
I WISH YOU'D WAIT
UNTIL I SAY "COME IN,"
BEFORE YOU COME IN. I'M HAVING
AN IMPORTANT MEETING HERE.
SHALL I GO OUT AGAIN THEN?
NO, NO, PUT IT DOWN.
SHALL I PUT THAT DOWN?
NO, I DON'T WANT THAT PUT DOWN.
- WHAT SHALL I DO
WITH IT THEN?
- PUT IT DOWN.
I THOUGHT YOU SAID
DON'T PUT IT DOWN.
I DON'T WANT YOU TO
PUT DOWN "PUT IT DOWN."
I'M GOING TO PUT IT DOWN. AS FAR AS
I'M CONCERNED, YOU CAN STICK IT UP.
DON'T PUT THAT
DOWN, MISS AINSWORTH.
NOW, WHERE WERE WE?
"NEVER BEEN A ROTTEN APPLE
IN THE BARREL. UNTIL TODAY."
AH, YES. MR. GRAINGER,
FOR THE FOUR MINUTES
UNAUTHORIZED ABSENCE,
I'M DEDUCTING 25p
FROM YOUR PAY PACKET,
PLUS A FURTHER 25p
FOR REFUSING TO SIGN THIS BOOK.
COULD I SIGN NOW
AND SAVE THE 25p?
I'M AFRAID NOT. CAPTAIN
PEACOCK'S REMARKS
TAKE UP THE PLACE WHERE
YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO SIGN.
THAT IS ALL, MR. GRAINGER.
THE MATTER IS CLOSED.
W-WH-WHAT ABOUT THE OTHERS?
THAT IS ALL, MR. GRAINGER.
THE MATTER IS CLOSED.
I THINK IT'S DISGRACEFUL,
YOU HAVING TO PAY 50p. I
SHOULDN'T STAND FOR IT.
NO, YOU SHOULD
STAND UP FOR YOURSELF
AND TELL THEM WHERE TO GET OFF.
YEAH, WE'RE BEHIND YOU.
I'D PREFER TO FORGET IT.
IT'S ALL BEEN MOST UNPLEASANT.
WE SHOULD ALL CHIP IN
AND PAY MR. GRAINGER'S FINE.
AFTER ALL, IT'S ONLY 10p EACH.
AH, BUT... HE WAS FINED 25p
FOR BEING LATE, AND
25p FOR NOT SIGNING.
WE'RE ONLY SUPPORTING
HIM FOR NOT SIGNING,
SO WE SHOULD ONLY PAY HALF.
HOLD ON, HOLD ON, HOLD ON.
THERE'S A PRINCIPLE
INVOLVED HERE, ISN'T THERE?
BROTHER GRAINGER
IS BEING VICTIMIZED
'CAUSE HE STOOD UP
FOR HIS RIGHTFUL RIGHTS.
IT'S ONLY FAIR THAT WE
SHOULD STAND UP FOR HIM.
THIS IS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU,
MR. MASH. GET BACK TO YOUR BASEMENT.
IT HAS EVERYTHING TO DO
WITH ME, BROTHER SLOCOMBE.
I AM SHOP STEWARD.
AND IN THAT CAPACITY,
I AM CONVENING AN
EMERGENCY MEETING
IN ACCORDANCE WITH
SECTION 23 OF THE RULE BOOK.
- CAN WE DO THAT?
- OF COURSE WE CAN.
- WHAT ABOUT THE CUSTOMERS?
- HAVE TO WAIT.
IT COMES TO A HALT WHEN
THE BROTHERS SAY SO.
IT'S JUST LIKE THE MAFIA...
AND THE COSY NOSTRIL.
ARE YOU FREE, MR. GRAINGER?
COMING, CAPTAIN PEACOCK.
- DON'T MOVE, BROTHER.
- BUT, CAPTAIN PEACOCK...
HE CAN'T TOUCH US ONCE I'VE
CONVENED AN EMERGENCY MEETING.
- WE ARE SACROSANCT.
- IS THAT TRUE?
THAT IS TRUE, BROTHER HUMPHRIES.
"BROTHER HUMPHRIES," OH!
DOESN'T IT BRING YOU CLOSE
WHEN YOU HAVE A UNION?
I CALLED YOU, MR. GRAINGER.
I'VE BEEN CONVENED.
GET OFF THE FLOOR, MASH!
UNLESS YOU WANT EVERYBODY
OUT FROM HERE TO HARRODS,
I WOULD NOT USE THAT
TONE OF VOICE, PEACOCK.
NOW THEN,
WE ARE GATHERED
HERE TODAY, BROTHERS,
TO CONSIDER THE CASE
OF BROTHER E. GRAINGER.
SO YOU'RE BEHIND THIS, GRAINGER.
NO, WE'RE ALL BEHIND IT.
AS I SEE IT, WE'VE GOT
TWO THINGS TO DECIDE...
WHAT WE WANT AND HOW
WE ARE GOING TO GET IT.
I'M NOT SURE WHAT WE WANT.
YOU'RE LUCKY YOU'VE
GOT ME THEN, AIN'T YER?
FIRSTLY, WE WANT TO REMOVE
THE STIGMATA ATTACHED
TO BROTHER GRAINGER.
OH, IT SOUNDS LIKE THE EXORCIST.
AND SECONDLY, ON
THE TIME ELEMENT,
WE WANT TO BE FREE AND
UNRESTRICTED IN THE CLOAKROOM.
I'LL SECOND THAT.
AND THIRDLY, WE
WANT A REAPPRAISAL
OF THE WHOLE ARCHAIC
COFFEE BREAK SYSTEM,
BRINGING IT INTO LINE WITH
CURRENT INDUSTRIAL PRACTICE.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
"WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?"
THAT MEANS, BROTHER,
THAT UNLESS THE MANAGEMENT
MEET OUR DEMANDS,
WE TAKE ACTION AND IF THAT
DON'T WORK, WE'LL ESCALATE.
Lucas: HEAR, HEAR.
NOW, YOU'VE WASTED
ENOUGH TIME, MASH.
EVERYBODY BACK TO WORK.
YOU'RE OUT OF ORDER,
BROTHER PEACOCK,
AND I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE
TO REPRIMAND YOU AGAIN.
NOW THEN, AS I SEE IT,
THE MAIN POINT TO HOLD
OUT FOR IS TRAVELING TIME
TO AND FROM THE TEA BREAKS.
YOUR TEA SHOULD START
NOT WHEN YOU LEAVE HERE,
NOT WHEN YOU GET IN THE LIFT,
NOT WHEN YOU STAND IN
THE QUEUE AT THE COUNTER,
NOT EVEN WHEN YOU PAY FOR IT.
YOUR TEA SHOULD START
WHEN YOU SIT DOWN
AND ACTUALLY DIP
YOUR BISCUIT IN THE CUP.
OOOH, DOESN'T HE SPEAK WELL?
THANK YOU, BROTHER.
I AM NOW ABOUT TO PUT
A MOTION ON THE TABLE.
SOME OF THE PHRASES ARE STRANGE.
I MOVE THAT THIS MEETING
AUTHORIZES ME TO PUT
OUR DEMANDS BEFORE MANAGEMENT,
AND TO FORM A STRIKE COMMITTEE
WITH CARTE BLANCHE TO
TAKE INDUSTRIAL ACTION.
HANDS UP, THOSE FOR THE MOTION.
JOLLY GOOD.
ALL THOSE AGAINST.
YOU CAN'T VOTE,
YOU'VE GOT NO STANDING.
- I'M IN THIS UNION.
- WHERE'S YOUR CARD?
- I LEFT IT AT HOME.
- THAT MAKES YOU
OUT OF ORDER THEN.
- HAVE THEY GOT CARDS?
- THAT'S BESIDE THE POINT.
- I VOTE WE SHOW CARDS.
- YOU CAN'T VOTE WE SHOW CARDS
UNLESS YOU SHOW YOUR
CARD. CARRIED UNANIMOUSLY.
( blows raspberry )
I CAN TELL YOU NOW, MASH,
THERE IS POSITIVELY NO CHANCE
OF US AT GRACE BROTHERS
ACCEDING TO YOUR DEMANDS.
I SEE. IS THAT YOUR
FINAL WORD, SIR?
ABSOLUTELY. THE
MANAGEMENT STANDS FIRM
BEHIND ITS AGREEMENT OF 1928.
ARE YOU SAYING,
SIR, THAT HENCEFORTH
THERE IS NO POINT IN US
HAVING MEANINGFUL DISCUSSIONS
AND THE HELPFUL
EXCHANGE OF VIEWS?
NONE WHATEVER.
THEN GET STUFFED!
DON'T PUT THAT
DOWN, MISS AINSWORTH.
THAT'S IT THEN, BROTHERS.
FROM THIS MOMENT
IN TIME, IT'S GO SLOW.
BUT IT'S ONLY THREE
MINUTES BEFORE WE GO HOME.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT. GO
SLOW RIGHT UP TO THE BELL.
THAT'S NOT GOING TO BE
EASY WITHOUT ANY CUSTOMERS.
IN MY OFFICIAL CAPACITY
AS SHOP STEWARD, PEACOCK,
I AM ORDERING YOU TO GO SLOW.
HOLD THAT, MRS. SLOCOMBE.
AS FROM NOW ON, IT'S GO SLOW.
BUT IF I DON'T GET THESE
COVERS ON QUICK, I'LL MISS MY BUS.
- LEAVE 'EM.
- BUT MY UNDIES WILL
GET ALL SMUTTY.
SO LET 'EM GET SMUTTY.
I'M NOT THAT KIND OF PERSON.
AND I CAN'T SELL
SMUTTY UNDERWEAR.
SO THE MANAGEMENT, THROUGH
THEIR INTRACTABLE ATTITUDE,
- WILL LOSE MONEY.
- AND I'LL LOSE MY COMMISSION!
WE'VE ALL GOT TO MAKE
SACRIFICES, BROTHER.
NOT WHEN I'M SAVING FOR
MY HOLIDAYS, WE DON'T.
- ( bell ringing )
- DON'T FORGET, BROTHERS,
WHEN YOU ARRIVES IN
THE MORNING, IT'S GO SLOW.
I DON'T LIKE THIS
UNION THING AT ALL.
IT SEEMS TO BE GOING TOO FAR.
YOU STARTED IT, BROTHER.
( elevator dings )
( chatting )
I TELL YOU, BROTHERS,
I'M REALLY PROUD OF YOU.
THE GO SLOW THIS MORNING
WAS 100% EFFECTIVE.
I THINK WE'VE PUT THE WIND
UP THE MANAGEMENT, ALL RIGHT.
AND IF YOU DON'T GO SLOW
ON THAT APPLE CRUMBLE,
YOU'LL GET THE WIND
UP SOMEWHERE ELSE.
I THINK MR. GRAINGER
WENT SLOW BEAUTIFULLY.
I COULDN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE.
I KNOW WE'RE ALL BEHIND
THE UNION, MR. HUMPHRIES,
BUT I MUST SAY THAT
I DO THINK 10 MINUTES
IS RATHER A LONG TIME
TO SPEND ON AN INSIDE LEG.
ESPECIALLY AS THE CUSTOMER
ONLY CAME IN FOR A PAIR OF GLOVES.
WELL, MY END HAS
BEEN A DISASTER.
YOUR END ALWAYS WAS.
MR. LUCAS, IF WE
WEREN'T SUPPOSED
TO BE UNITED IN A COMMON CAUSE,
I WOULD BAT YOUR EARHOLE.
I HAD THIS RUSSIAN LADY
ATHLETE IN THIS MORNING.
I TOOK SO LONG
FITTING HER FOR A BRA,
SHE LEFT ME HER
ADDRESS IN VLADIVOSTOCK.
LET'S FACE IT... IT HASN'T
BEEN A SUCCESS, HAS IT?
I DON'T THINK
PEACOCK EVEN NOTICED.
IN THAT CASE, WE'LL
HAVE TO ESCALATE.
- Humphries: HOW?
- Miss Brahms: WHAT'S THAT?
ONE OF THE WAYS TO
BRING OUR GRIEVANCES
TO THE ATTENTION
OF THE HIERARCHY
IS TO BUNG UP THE LOOS
WITH PLASTER OF PARIS.
WOULDN'T THAT RATHER
BE CUTTING OFF OUR NOSES
TO SPITE OUR FACES?
- THEN WE CAN GO LIGHTNING.
- WHAT'S THAT?
YOU DROP EVERYTHING
WITHOUT WARNING.
OH, I DON'T LIKE
THE SOUND OF THAT.
WE ALL SEEM TO BE
GETTING SO MILITANT
AND EXTREMIST.
YES, I CAN ALMOST SMELL
REDS UNDER THE BEDS.
THERE ARE NO REDS UNDER
MY BED, MR. GRAINGER.
NO, NOR MINE. MIND
YOU... I LOOK EVERY NIGHT.
I'VE GOT IT.
WE'LL HIJACK THE LIFT
AND KEEP RUMBOLD
INSIDE WITH US UNTIL THE
MANAGEMENT ACCEDE TO OUR DEMANDS.
MISS BRAHMS AND I REFUSE
TO BE COOPED UP IN THE LIFT
FOR DAYS WITH
HALF A DOZEN MEN...
EXCEPT AS A LAST RESORT.
IT MIGHT BE YOUR LAST CHANCE.
OUR LAST CHANCE...
SORRY, MRS. SLOCOMBE.
Mash: BROTHERS, THERE'S
ONLY ONE THING FOR IT.
BUNG UP THE LOOS,
FOLLOWED BY A LIGHTNING SIT IN.
- WHAT? IN THE LOOS?
- NO, ON THE FLOOR.
AND IF THAT DON'T WORK,
IT'S A WALKOUT AND PICKETS.
I HAVE BEEN HERE
FOR OVER 30 YEARS
AND I REFUSE TO PICKET.
- WE'RE ONLY
DOING IT FOR YOU.
- WHAT?
YES, IF YOU HADN'T BEEN
SO INSUFFERABLY RUDE
TO CAPTAIN PEACOCK, WE
WOULDN'T BE IN THIS MESS.
- Mash: RIGHT.
- I THINK WE OUGHT
TO VOTE ON IT.
NO VOTE NEEDED. YOU GIVE ME CARTE
BLANCHE BY A DEMOCRATIC MAJORITY.
COME ON, THEN.
LET'S GET DOWN TO THE SHOP FLOOR
AND CONFRONT THE MANAGEMENT.
I HAVEN'T FINISHED
MY COFFEE YET.
WELL, COME ON, THEN.
OH, THIS REALLY IS TOO BAD.
IT'S FOUR MINUTES PAST 2:00.
ALL THE OLD VALUES ARE
DISAPPEARING, YOU KNOW.
IS THIS WHAT WE
FOUGHT FOR AT DUNKIRK?
WERE YOU AT DUNKIRK?
NO...
I JUST WONDERED IF
THIS IS WHAT THE PEOPLE
WHO WERE AT DUNKIRK FOUGHT FOR.
WE DON'T HAVE ANYBODY WHO
FOUGHT AT DUNKIRK, DO WE?
NEVER MIND.
AH, HERE THEY ARE.
AS DEMOCRATICALLY
ELECTED SPOKESMAN,
I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT UNLESS
THE MANAGEMENT MEETS
OUR DEMANDS, WE ARE ALL OUT.
THE MANAGEMENT WILL NOT
NEGOTIATE UNDER INTIMIDATION.
I'M NOT INTIMIDATING YOU, MATE.
IF I WAS INTIMIDATING YOU,
YOU'D GET A BUNCH OF
FIVES RIGHT UP YOUR HOOTER.
DON'T LET ME LOSE MY
TEMPER, CAPTAIN PEACOCK.
NO, PLEASE, CARRY ON, SIR.
I'M LIKE A WILD ANIMAL
WHEN I'M ROUSED.
DID YOU HEAR THAT?
HE THREATENED ME.
GOOD AFTERNOON, EVERYBODY.
GOOD AFTERNOON, MR. GRACE.
I'VE GOT A COPY OF
YOUR MEMO, RUMBOLD,
ABOUT THE TEA BREAK.
YES, WELL, FURTHER TO THAT, SIR,
THE WORKERS ARE CLAIMING
THAT THEIR TEA BREAK
SHOULDN'T COMMENCE
UNTIL THEY ACTUALLY GET
THE COFFEE IN THEIR HANDS.
AND WE'LL GET IT. WE'RE
BEHIND MR. GRAINGER IN THIS, SIR.
IT WASN'T JUST ME, SIR.
Mash: WE ARE NOT TRAVELING UP
AND DOWN IN YOUR ROTTEN OLD LIFT,
TO YOUR ROTTEN OLD
CANTEEN, IN OUR OWN TIME, SIR.
THAT'S QUITE RIGHT.
THE LIFTS ARE NOT UP TO IT.
MY TEA BREAK BEGINS
WHEN MY TEA'S HANDED TO ME,
AND WHAT'S GOOD ENOUGH
FOR ME IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU.
THAT'S IT, BROTHERS, WE'VE WON.
THAT'S THE POWER OF THE UNION.
WELL... I'M VERY
GLAD I HELD OUT.
WELL DONE, MR. GRAINGER.
WE WERE ALL BEHIND YOU.
SO IN FUTURE,
YOUR TEA WILL BE HANDED TO YOU.
GODDARD!
NOW YOU WON'T HAVE TO LEAVE
THE DEPARTMENT AT ALL.
CARRY ON, EVERYBODY.
YOU'VE ALL DONE VERY WELL.
THANK YOU, MR. GRACE.
OOH, PAPER CUPS.
AND YOU KNOW, I ALWAYS RATHER
ENJOYED MY WALK TO THE CANTEEN.
YES, AND I ENJOYED
MY RIDE UP IN THE LIFT.
I SHAN'T SEE MY FRIEND
BEHIND THE COUNTER.
NEVER MIND, BROTHERS,
WE'VE WON A GREAT VICTORY.
AND LOST OUR TEA BREAK!
MR. MASH.
CAPTAIN PEACOCK?
( blows raspberry )
( theme music plays )
♪ GROUND FLOOR... PERFUMERY,
STATIONERY, AND LEATHER GOODS ♪
♪ WIGS AND HABERDASHERY
KITCHENWARE AND FOOD... ♪
♪ GOING UP... ♪
♪ FIRST FLOOR... TELEPHONES,
GENTS' READYMADE SUITS ♪
♪ SHIRTS, SOCKS, TIES, HATS,
UNDERWEAR AND SHOES ♪
♪ GOING UP... ♪
♪ SECOND FLOOR... CARPETS,
TRAVEL GOODS AND BEDDING ♪
♪ MATERIAL, SOFT FURNISHINGS
RESTAURANT AND TEAS ♪
♪ GOING DOWN. ♪