Archie's Weird Mysteries (1999–2000): Season 1, Episode 36 - Teen Out of Time - full transcript

Announcer: TEEN OUT OF TIME!

ARCHIE'S TRAPPED--
TRAPPED IN RIVERDALE'S PAST!

CAN ARCHIE GET BACK
TO THE PRESENT

BEFORE HIS FRIENDS BECOME
A LIGHT SNACK

FOR A PREHISTORIC MONSTER?!

THE FATE OF RIVERDALE DEPENDS
ON A TEEN OUT OF TIME!

♪ WHAT'S THAT SOUND?

♪ ARCHIE'S

♪ MYSTERIES

♪ WHAT IS GOING ON
IN THIS TOWN? ♪

♪ ARCHIE'S



♪ MYSTERIES

♪ WHO IS GONNA
CRACK THE CASE? ♪

♪ ARCHIE'S

♪ MYSTERIES

♪ THAT REDHEAD
WITH THE FRECKLED FACE ♪

♪ ARCHIE'S

♪ MYSTERIES

♪ THINGS ARE GETTIN' WEIRD
IN RIVERDALE ♪

♪ HEY, WHAT'S THAT SOUND?

♪ ARCHIE'S

♪ MYSTERIES

♪ WHAT IS GOING ON
IN THIS TOWN? ♪

♪ ARCHIE'S

♪ MYSTERIES



♪ ARCHIE, REGGIE

♪ VERONICA, BETTY

♪ JUGHEAD, TOO

♪ WEIRD

♪ ARCHIE'S WEIRD MYSTERIES

NO-OO-OO-OO-O!

CURSE YOU, ARCHIE ANDREWS!

IF YOU HADN'T INTERFERED
WHEN I TRIED TO ROB
THAT BANK,

I WOULDN'T BE TRAPPED
IN THIS TIME VORTEX!

AT LAST!

AAH!

YES!

I'M BACK
ON FIRM GROUND AGAIN.

RIVERDALE--
I'M IN RIVERDALE!

RIVERDALE, A TOWN
THAT HAS JUST RUN OUT
OF TIME.

ARCHIE WON'T STOP ME
THIS TIME!

[DOG BARKS]

[YAWNS] WHAT'S GOING ON
OUT THERE?

HUH?! HEY, WHAT'S
THE BIG IDEA?!

SORRY,
BUT I HAVE TO WARN YOU.

WARN ME? ABOUT WHAT?

WHATEVER YOU DO,

BE SURE TO WEAR
THE TIME BELT
AT SCHOOL TOMORROW.

HUH? HOW DO YOU KNOW
ABOUT THE TIME BELT?!

WHO ARE YOU?

HE'S GONE!

I GUESS IT WOULDN'T HURT
TO GET THE TIME BELT
FROM DILTON.

IF THERE'S TROUBLE
TOMORROW,

I WANNA BE READY FOR IT.

OH, YES,
YOU NEED TO BE READY

FOR TROUBLE TOMORROW,
YOUNG ARCHIE.

RIVERDALE'S VERY EXISTENCE
DEPENDS ON IT.

[WHISTLES]

[WHISTLES]

HI, ARCHIE.
WHAT DO YOU WANT?

COME OUT RIGHT AWAY,
JUGHEAD.

IT'S A MATTER
OF LIFE OR DEATH.

AW, RELAX, ARCHIE.

RELAX!

[MUNCHING]

I'LL BE OUT IN A MINUTE!

SO EVEN THOUGH
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
IT'S ALL ABOUT,

I'M WEARING
THE TIME BELT
UNDERNEATH MY JACKET.

SEE?

SO YOU'RE READY
FOR EVERYTHING.

I DON'T SEE
WHAT THE BIG FUSS IS.

BUT EVERYTHING'S HAPPENING
ALL AT ONCE.

BETTY AND VERONICA
ARE STILL PESTERING ME

TO DECIDE WHICH ONE OF THEM
WILL BE MY PERMANENT
GIRLFRIEND.

NO MATTER WHICH ONE I CHOOSE,
BETTY OR VERONICA,

THE OTHER ONE WILL HATE ME.

I CAN'T MAKE UP MY MIND.

THAT'S A DOOZY
OF A DILEMMA, ARCH.

AND THEN I HAVE TO LET
MR. WEATHERBEE KNOW TODAY

IF I'M TAKING THAT SCHOLARSHIP
TO STUDY IN EUROPE

FOR MY SENIOR YEAR.

IF I ACCEPT IT,

I'LL BE GONE FROM RIVERDALE
FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR.

THERE'S YOUR SOLUTION
TO THE BETTY/VERONICA PROBLEM.

HUH?

JUST TELL THEM
THAT YOU'RE GOING TO EUROPE,

AND IT WOULDN'T BE FAIR
TO EITHER ONE OF THEM

FOR YOU TO MAKE A DECISION
UNTIL YOU RETURN FROM EUROPE.

BOY, ARE WE EVER
GOING TO HAVE FUN
IN EUROPE, ARCH!

EATING SPAGHETTI IN ROME.

GOBBLING SAUSAGES
DURING OKTOBERFEST,

AND MUNCHING ON FRENCH FRIES

IN THE SHADOW
OF THE EIFFEL TOWER!

UH, JUGHEAD,
YOU WON'T BE
COMING WITH ME.

THE SCHOLARSHIP
ONLY PAYS FOR ME.

THEY DON'T LET YOU
BRING A FRIEND ALONG?!

WHAT KIND OF CRUMMY SCHOLARSHIP
ARE THEY TRYING TO DUMP ON YOU?!

SORRY.

ALL I CAN SAY IS
THAT IF YOU WANT TO GO
GALLOPING AROUND EUROPE

WITHOUT YOUR BEST PAL,
GO AHEAD!

HAVE FUN IN EUROPE!
WHO NEEDS YOU?!

WAIT, JUGHEAD,
DON'T BE THAT WAY!

AWW! WHAT'S THE USE?

I CAN'T SEEM
TO PLEASE ANYBODY.

I'VE GOT TO DO
SOME SERIOUS THINKING.

BETTY OR VERONICA?

EUROPE OR RIVERDALE?

I'M RUNNING OUT OF TIME
TO MAKE A DECISION.

ARCHIE!
ARCHIE ANDREWS!
HUH?

WHOA!

UNH! HUH?

OH, HI, BETTY, VERONICA.

THIS IS
YOUR LAST CHANCE,
ARCHIEKINS.

MAKE UP YOUR MIND!
WHO'S GOING TO BE
YOUR GIRLFRIEND?!

BETTY OR ME?!

I--I...

I CAN'T MAKE UP MY MIND.

I'M SORRY.

[SOBBING]

YOU--YOU--YOU'VE WASTED
THE BEST YEARS OF MY LIFE,
ARCHIE.

I WISH I'D NEVER MET YOU!

[SOBBING]

THAT GOES DOUBLE FOR ME!

I WISH DADDY AND I HAD
NEVER COME TO THIS
CRUMMY TOWN!

[SOBBING]

WAIT UP FOR ME, BETTY!

SMOOTH MOVE, ANDREWS.

IS THERE ANYONE LEFT
I HAVEN'T MADE MISERABLE
YET?

[DOOR OPENS]

MR. WEATHERBEE?

AH, ARCHIE,
COME ON IN.

I...

I'VE MADE UP MY MIND.

I'M GOING TO ACCEPT
THE SCHOLARSHIP TO EUROPE.

THIS WILL BE
MY LAST QUARTER
AT RIVERDALE HIGH SCHOOL.

AFTER ALL, NO ONE'S
GONNA MISS ME ANYWAY.

IT'S NOT LIKE I'M MAKING
A DIFFERENCE IN ANYONE'S
LIFE HERE IN RIVERDALE.

OH, DON'T EVER
FEEL THAT WAY
ABOUT YOURSELF.

EVERYBODY MAKES
A DIFFERENCE.

SIT DOWN, SON.

I WANT TO TELL YOU
SOMETHING
SOMEONE TOLD ME

THE VERY FIRST DAY
I TOOK OVER
AS PRINCIPAL HERE.

NOW ARCHIE--

[RAHHRRRR]

I THINK IT CAME
FROM OUTSIDE.

WELL, I'M GOING
TO HAVE TO LOOK
INTO THIS.

PARDON ME, ARCHIE.

HMM.[RAHHRRRR]

NOW WHAT MANNER
OF BEAST

MADE THAT
HORRENDOUS NOISE?

OH, MY...

[ROARS]

BYE-BYE!

AAH!

[RAHHRRR]

HUH?

OH, NO.

WHY IS IT
ALWAYS MY CAR
THAT GETS WRECKED?

OH, NO!

MR. WEATHERBEE IS ABOUT
TO BECOME DINOSAUR CHOW.

LEAVE HIM ALONE.

HE'S THE ONLY PRINCIPAL
WE HAVE.

AAH!

[BONK]

OOPS.

WHOA!

OOF!

UH-OH!

GET AWAY!

AAH!

FEELING A LITTLE DESPERATE,
ARCHIE ANDREWS?

FINNEY!

I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN
YOU WERE
BEHIND THIS.

ONCE I ESCAPED
THE TIME VORTEX,

I SCOURED ALL OF TIME
FOR THE MOST HORRIFIC WAY

TO WIPE OUT
YOUR BELOVED RIVERDALE.

AND HERE HE IS.

WHAT DO YOU THINK
OF MY CHOICE?

[LAUGHS]

PERSONALLY, I COULD
DO WITHOUT IT.

I HOPE IT'S
A PARTICULARLY
PAINFUL THOUGHT

IN THE LAST FEW MOMENTS
OF YOUR LIFE,

THAT SOON YOUR FRIENDS
AND YOUR ENTIRE TOWN

WILL SOON MEET
THE SAME FATE.

Finney: AT LAST!

I HAVE MY REVENGE
ON ARCHIE ANDREWS,

AND NOW IT'S RIVERDALE'S
TURN TO SUFFER.

WHEW! THAT WAS TOO CLOSE.

NOW TO GET BACK
AND STOP FINNEY

BEFORE HE DOES MORE DAMAGE
TO RIVERDALE.

OH, NO.

THE SOLAR BATTERY
IS DEPLETED.

I'M STUCK HERE
UNTIL IT RECHARGES,

AND EXACTLY WHERE

AND WHEN IS HERE?

MAYBE I COULD GET
BETTER BEARINGS

FROM ATOP ONE
OF THOSE HILLS.

IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVE
ANYTHING BETTER TO DO

UNTIL THE BATTERY
RECHARGES.

HUH?

NOPE, I DON'T RECOGNIZE
A THING.

I COULD BE ANYWHERE.

UH-OH.

THIS COULD
BE TROUBLE.

YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?

OF COURSE I DO.

I RECKON YOU'RE
THE FIRST RED-HEADED,
FAIR-SKINNED NATIVE

I'VE EVER MET.

STRANGE GARMENTS
YOU'RE WEARING THERE.

BETTER NOT GIVE AWAY
THAT I'M FROM
THE FUTURE.

UM, ALL MY, UH, PEOPLE
WEAR GARMENTS
LIKE THESE.

UM, WHAT YEAR IS THIS?

1699.

FAREWELL.
I MUST BE MOVING ON.

I'M SCOUTING AHEAD
FOR A LIKELY SETTLING PLACE

FOR 38 FAMILIES
A FEW MILES BACK.

NOT HAVING MUCH LUCK.

THERE'S A NICE VALLEY
RIGHT OVER THERE.

EH?

SHOW ME.

THERE'S A RIVER
ON THE FAR SIDE.

HMM.

IT MIGHT JUST DO.

THANK YOU.

YOU DON'T REALIZE
WHAT YOU'VE DONE
FOR US.

I'M GONNA GO
GET THE OTHERS.

GLAD TO HELP.

A RIVER IN A VALLEY.

WE CAN CALL THE SETTLEMENT
RIVERDALE.

RIVERDALE!

YOU DON'T THINK?

IT IS.

I READ ABOUT THIS
IN HISTORY CLASS.

THE FIRST SETTLERS
CAME TO RIVERDALE
VALLEY IN 1699.

WOW.

[ELECTRONIC BEEPS]

I HAVE A LITTLE POWER BACK.

TIME TO TRY TO GET BACK
TO MY OWN TIME.

WELL, IT LOOKS
LIKE RIVERDALE,

BUT DID I MAKE IT
ALL THE WAY
TO THE PRESENT?

NOPE. LOOKS LIKE
I MISSED IT
BY 25 YEARS.

[ELECTRONIC BEEPS]

IT LOOKS LIKE I HAVE
A LITTLE POWER LEFT.

I HOPE IT'S ENOUGH
TO GET ME BACK
TO MY OWN TIME.

Mr. Weatherbee:
WHAT AN AWFUL DAY.

I'M LEAVING RIVERDALE
AND GOING BACK HOME.

MAYBE I CAN GET
MY OLD JOB BACK.

Archie:
THAT'S MR. WEATHERBEE
FROM 25 YEARS IN THE PAST,

AND HE SOUNDS UPSET
ABOUT SOMETHING.

EXCUSE ME.
HUH?

IS SOMETHING WRONG?

YOUNG MAN,
EVERYTHING'S WRONG.

THIS WAS MY FIRST DAY
AS PRINCIPAL

AT RIVERDALE
HIGH SCHOOL.

I'VE ALWAYS WANTED
TO BE A PRINCIPAL,

TO GUIDE STUDENTS
IN THEIR EDUCATION,

TO HELP TEACHERS
TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE,

BUT, AFTER TODAY,

I KNOW I'M JUST NOT
CUT OUT FOR THE JOB.

WHAT HAPPENED?

WHAT DIDN'T HAPPEN?

I LOST MY TEMPER
WITH THE STUDENTS.

THE TEACHERS
DON'T LIKE ME,

AND THE P.T.A. PRESIDENT
IS ANGRY BECAUSE I GAVE
HIS SON A DETENTION.

THAT'S IT.
I'M GOING TO QUIT

AND LEAVE RIVERDALE
FOREVER.

NO, YOU CAN'T LEAVE
RIVERDALE.

THINK OF ALL THE YEARS
YOU'VE PUT INTO
BECOMING A PRINCIPAL.

YOU CAN'T THROW
ALL THAT AWAY.

THAT DOESN'T MATTER
ANYMORE.

I'VE MADE UP MY MIND.

SO YOU'VE HAD ONE BAD DAY.

YOU'VE GOTTA KEEP TRYING.

DON'T GIVE UP.

TOMORROW COULD BE
COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.

IF A STUDENT
BECAME DISCOURAGED

AND WANTED TO LEAVE
RIVERDALE HIGH,

WHAT WOULD YOU TELL HIM?

TO KEEP TRYING
AND NOT GIVE UP.

YOU'RE RIGHT.
I CAN'T LEAVE.

I MUST GO BACK TOMORROW
AND KEEP TRYING.

I WILL MAKE
A DIFFERENCE.

THANK YOU, YOUNG MAN.
WHO KNOWS?

MAYBE I'LL EVEN GET
THAT SOURPUSS GRUNDY
TO CRACK A SMILE.

GOOD OLD MR. WEATHERBEE.

NOW TO GET BACK
TO MY OWN TIME.

THIS IS MY NEIGHBORHOOD,

BUT WHAT YEAR IS IT?

A MOVING VAN IN FRONT
OF BETTY'S HOUSE.

I WONDER.

[GIRL SOBBING]

HUH?

[CRYING]

THAT'S BETTY

WHEN SHE WAS
A LITTLE GIRL.

WHAT'S WRONG, BET--

UH, LITTLE GIRL?

[SNIFFS]

I JUST MOVED HERE,
AND THERE'S NO ONE
TO PLAY WITH

BUT THAT STUPID BOY
NEXT DOOR.

I HAPPEN TO KNOW
THAT BOY
PRETTY WELL,

AND HE'S NOT
THAT BAD.

I MEAN, FOR A BOY.

REALLY?

LOOK, HE'S A BIT
GOOFY SOMETIMES

AND DOESN'T
ALWAYS THINK
THINGS THROUGH,

BUT HE MEANS WELL.

HE ALWAYS TRIES
TO BE A GOOD FRIEND.

HE DOESN'T SOUND TOO BAD...

FOR A BOY.[BICYCLE BELL RINGS]

HERE HE COMES.

JUST GIVE HIM
A CHANCE.

UH-HUH. THANKS, MISTER.

[BICYCLE BELL RINGS]

I HAVE TO SEE THIS.

WHOA! WHOA!

JUST A MATTER OF SKILL.
THAT'S ALL.

THE CRAZY KID ISN'T
EVEN WEARING A HELMET.

WHAT IS HE THINKING?[YOUNG ARCHIE LAUGHING]

AAH!
[CRASH]

[GASPS]

BOY, WAS I EVER CLUMSY.

WHOA!

AAH!

HIYA, MY NAME'S ARCHIE.

YOU'RE NEW AROUND HERE,
AREN'T YOU?

UH-HUH, MOVING IN TODAY.

I'M BETTY COOPER.

SHE'LL BE OK.

I JUST HOPE THAT THE BETTY
FROM MY TIME IS SAFE.

HELP!

AAH!

COME ON, BETTY! HURRY!

WHEW!
THAT WAS CLOSE.

[GULPS] OH.
OH.

Finney: ATTENTION,
CHOCK'LIT SHOPPE CUSTOMERS,

I JUST WANT YOU ALL TO KNOW
HOW MUCH I'M ENJOYING THIS.

FIRST, THE T-REX ATE ARCHIE,

AND NOW HE'S GOING TO GET
THE REST OF YOU.

HUH?
HUH?

ARCHIE'S GONE?

THE LAST TIME I SAW ARCHIE,
I WAS SO MEAN.

ME, TOO.

[CRIES]
[CRIES]

[JUGHEAD CRYING]

HUH?
HUH?

[CRYING]

POOR ARCHIE!

IF ONLY ARCHIE
WAS ALIVE,

I COULD TELL HIM
WHAT A DIFFERENCE

HE MADE IN MY LIFE.

[ALL CRYING]

COME ON.
RECHARGE ALREADY.

Girl: YOU THERE.

COME HERE
IMMEDIATELY.

Archie: VERONICA?

WHAT'S SHE DOING HERE?

HER FAMILY WON'T
MOVE TO RIVERDALE
FOR ANOTHER YEAR.

GO FILL THIS
AT THE FOUNTAIN.

OUT IN THE SUN,
MY DELICATE COMPLEXION
MIGHT BURN.

UH, OK.

Young Veronica: HURRY!

AND I THOUGHT
SHE WAS SPOILED
WHEN SHE WAS 17.

I MUST APOLOGIZE
FOR MY DAUGHTER VERONICA.

SHE'S ENROLLED AT A VERY
EXCLUSIVE PRIVATE SCHOOL
BACK IN THE CITY.

ALL THE OTHER GIRLS
MAKE FUN OF HER,

SO SHE TRIES TO FIT IN

BY ALWAYS BEING
TWICE AS OBNOXIOUS
AND SNOOTY AS THEY ARE.

THAT'S ROUGH.
POOR KID.

THAT'S VERY UNDERSTANDING

GIVEN THE WAY
SHE'S TREATING YOU.

WELL, I'VE GOT A FRIEND
WHO'S ALMOST AS SPOILED.

BESIDES,
HERE IN RIVERDALE,

WE TRY TO BE A LITTLE
MORE UNDERSTANDING.

HOW REFRESHING.

MY NAME IS HIRAM LODGE.

I'M VISITING RIVERDALE
TO REVIEW SOME LOCAL
LOAN APPLICATIONS

FOR MY BANK.

WHERE'S MY WATER?

HUH?
HUH?

I THOUGHT GETTING
HER AWAY FROM
THOSE SNOOTY GIRLS

MIGHT HELP VERONICA
CALM DOWN.

OH, WELL.

I BETTER GET THIS TO HER.

WHOA!

[COUGHS]

OH...

OW, OW, OW,
OW, OW, OW.

I AM SO SORRY.

NO HARM DONE.

I'M SURE IT WILL
NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.

I WOULDN'T COUNT ON THAT.

HOW PLEASANTLY DIFFERENT
RIVERDALE IS
FROM THE BIG CITY.

PERHAPS I SHOULD INVEST
MORE HEAVILY HERE.

I'LL START BY APPROVING
THAT TATE FELLOW'S LOAN

TO OPEN
A HAMBURGER RESTAURANT.

Young Veronica:
DADDY, I WANT MY WATER NOW!

PERHAPS I SHOULD
EVEN MOVE HERE.

VERONICA MIGHT
LEARN SOMETHING

FROM THESE
SMALL-TOWN VALUES.

[ELECTRONIC BEEPS]

I HAVE TO GO.
GOOD-BYE!

[ELECTRONIC BEEPS]

GOOD, THERE'S STILL
A LITTLE JUICE LEFT
FOR MY PLAN,

BUT DID I MAKE IT
TO THE RIGHT TIME?

[RAHHRRR]

STEADY, ARCHIE.

WAIT UNTIL
YOU SMELL THE REEK

OF ITS RANCID
DINOSAUR BREATH.

OHH!

THE DELAY ON
THE TIME BELT
BETTER WORK.

HAVE A NICE TRIP BACK
TO PREHISTORIC TIMES.

HUH?

BUDDY, YOU'RE ALIVE.

[KISSING]

[KISSING]

OH, ARCHIEKINS.

WE THOUGHT
YOU WERE DEAD.

Finney: SO YOU GOT RID
OF MY TYRANNOSAURUS REX.

ENJOY YOUR TRIUMPH
WHILE IT LASTS.

NOW I'M THE ONLY ONE
WITH A TIME DEVICE.

I CAN BRING BACK
ANOTHER T-REX

OR 10 T-REXES

OR EVEN THOUSANDS,

AND FINALLY THERE'S
NOTHING YOU CAN DO

TO STOP ME,
ARCHIE ANDREWS.

Man: I WOULDN'T BE
TOO SURE ABOUT THAT.

WHA...

I BELIEVE THIS BELONGS
TO A FRIEND OF MINE.

[GASPS]

YOU'RE GOING BACK TO JAIL
IN THE FUTURE

FOR YOUR TIME CRIMES.

WELL DONE, YOUNG ARCHIE.

YOU KEPT HIM
DISTRACTED LONG ENOUGH

FOR ME TO GRAB
HIS CHRONO-FIELD
GENERATOR.

YOU'RE ME--
FROM THE FUTURE--

BUT WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME
WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN?

THEN YOU MIGHT NOT
HAVE DONE IT.

OH.

ENJOY THE NEXT FEW
YEARS OF YOUR LIFE.

I KNOW I DID.

BYE, GIRLS.

Veronica: WAIT A MINUTE!

COME BACK!
STOP!

HUH?

IF YOU'RE THE ARCHIE
FROM THE FUTURE,

TELL US IF ARCHIE
EVER PICKED ONE OF US.

OH, YOU MEAN
THAT LOVE TRIANGLE THING

THE 3 OF US HAD GOING.

THAT WAS SETTLED
YEARS AGO.

SO WHO DID YOU
FINALLY PICK?

I FINALLY PICKED...

ARCHIE'S JUST
AS FRUSTRATING
IN THE FUTURE

AS HE IS TODAY.

I'M NOT GOING
TO TAKE THE EUROPEAN
SCHOLARSHIP, JUGHEAD.

I'VE DECIDED
I BELONG IN RIVERDALE.

THAT'S GOOD, ARCH.

WE NEED YOU HERE.

Archie: FROM THE DIARY
OF BOB MONTANA,

ONE OF THE EARLIEST
SETTLERS IN RIVERDALE,

"I NEVER SAW THE RED-HAIRED,
FAIR-SKINNED NATIVE,

"BUT I'VE NEVER STOPPED
BEING GRATEFUL TO HIM

FOR SHOWING OUR SCOUT
THE RIVERDALE VALLEY."

I GUESS IT'S TRUE.

ONE PERSON
CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE,

ESPECIALLY IN A LITTLE TOWN
CALLED RIVERDALE.