Archie's Weird Mysteries (1999–2000): Season 1, Episode 33 - Halloween of Horror - full transcript

Announcer:
HALLOWEEN OF HORROR.

IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR
FOR FRIGHT AND FEAR,

BUT IF YOU LIVE
IN RIVERDALE...

Archie:
PACK UP YOUR JACK-O-LANTERN
AND RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

Announcer:
THERE'S NO TIME
FOR TRICK OR TREAT

ON THIS HALLOWEEN OF HORROR.

♪ WHAT'S THAT SOUND?

♪ ARCHIE'S

♪ MYSTERIES

♪ WHAT IS GOING ON
IN THIS TOWN? ♪

♪ ARCHIE'S



♪ MYSTERIES

♪ WHO IS GONNA
CRACK THE CASE? ♪

♪ ARCHIE'S

♪ MYSTERIES

♪ THAT REDHEAD
WITH THE FRECKLED FACE ♪

♪ ARCHIE'S

♪ MYSTERIES

♪ THINGS ARE GETTIN' WEIRD
IN RIVERDALE ♪

♪ HEY, WHAT'S THAT SOUND?

♪ ARCHIE'S

♪ MYSTERIES

♪ WHAT IS GOING ON
IN THIS TOWN? ♪

♪ ARCHIE'S

♪ MYSTERIES



♪ ARCHIE, REGGIE

♪ VERONICA, BETTY

♪ JUGHEAD, TOO

♪ WEIRD

♪ ARCHIE'S WEIRD MYSTERIES

Woman: OH, MASTER,
IT PAINS ME TO
SEE YOU LIKE THIS.

I AM NO LONGER
THE POWERFUL VAMPIRE
YOU ONCE KNEW.

WHY HAVEN'T YOU
ABANDONED ME, SCARLETT?

BECAUSE I LOVE YOU,
MEDLOCK.

I ONLY WISH
I COULD DO SOMETHING

TO HELP YOU RETURN
TO YOUR FORMER GLORY.

OH, BUT YOU CAN,
MY LOYAL SUBJECT,
YOU CAN.

WHA--WHAT'S HAPPENING?

I'M DRAINING YOU
OF YOUR PRECIOUS
NIGHT FORCE.

STEALING YOUR YOUTH,

[STRONGER VOICE]
SO I CAN REGAIN MINE.

[GASPS]

[WITH WEAKENED VOICE]
I--I FEEL SO WEAK.

AND NOW,
TO CLAIM MY DESTINY

AS RULER OVER
THE ETERNAL NIGHT
OF THE VAMPIRES.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

[DOORBELL RINGS]

TRICK OR TREAT!TRICK OR TREAT!

HOW CLEVER.

ACTUALLY, WE'RE HERE
FOR THE PARTY.

YOU DON'T SAY.

AND JUST WHAT ARE YOU
SUPPOSED TO BE?

I'M ONE OF SANTA'S
REINDEER.

BET YOU CAN'T GUESS
WHICH ONE.

COME ON, JUGHEAD,
LET'S CHECK OUT
THE SPREAD.

LOOKS LIKE
THE LODGE MANOR'S

ANNUAL HALLOWEEN BASH
IS IN FULL SWING.

WELL, THIS REINDEER
IS GOING TO HIT
THE FOOD TROUGH.

ARCHIE ANDREWS...

AREN'T YOU
A HANDSOME-LOOKING...

UM...

CYBER WARRIOR.

RIGHT!
A HANDSOME-LOOKING
CYBER WARRIOR.

DO YOU LIKE
MY COSTUME?

I'M DRESSED AS
THE CAPTAIN OF THE
CHEERLEADING SQUAD.

BUT, BETTY,
YOU ARECAPTAIN OF
THE CHEERLEADING SQUAD.

I KNOW.
IT'S THE REALISM

THAT MAKES MY COSTUME
SO CONVINCING.

[GROWLS]

HI, REGGIE.

AW, MAN!
HOW'D YOU KNOW IT WAS ME?

BESIDES THE FACT
YOU ALWAYS COME

TO VERONICA'S
HALLOWEEN PARTY

DRESSED
AS A WEREWOLF?

OH.

[GROWLS AND SNARLS]

HEY, REGGIE.

AW, MAN!

SO WHERE'S OUR HOSTESS
WITH THE MOSTEST?

SHE'S PLAYING THE ROLE
OF TONIGHT'S GYPSY
FORTUNE TELLER.

A FORTUNE TELLER?

SO FAR EVERYONE'S FUTURE

INVOLVES BUYING VERONICA
LOTS OF PRESENTS.

O GREAT AND WISE WOMAN,

CAN YOU TELL US THE FUTURE?

I GUESS
SHE'S ON A BREAK.

I'LL TELL YOU
YOUR FUTURE.

NICE ENTRANCE, VERONICA.

VERY DRAMATIC.

SO WHAT'S IN OUR FUTURE?
SUNSHINE AND ROSES?

I'M AFRAID
THE SUN HAS SET
FOR THE LAST TIME,

NEVER TO RISE AGAIN.

TONIGHT THE LONG-AWAITED
PROPHECY WILL FINALLY
COME TO PASS.

THE ETERNAL NIGHT
OF THE VAMPIRES
IS UPON US.

OOH, ARCHIEKINS,

WHEN DID YOU GET HERE?

VERONICA?
VERONICA?

IF YOU'RE VERONICA,
THEN WHO'S SHE?

I DON'T KNOW,
BUT I LOVE THE COSTUME.

IT MAKES YOU LOOK
LIKE YOU'RE REALLY OLD.

I AM REALLY OLD.
CENTURIES OLD.

CENTURIES?

JUST WHO ARE YOU?

WHY, DON'T YOU
RECOGNIZE ME?

I'M SCARLETT HELSING.

SCARLETT?SCARLETT?

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?

I MEAN, YOU WERE ALWAYS
AN UGLY VAMPIRE,

BUT YOU'VE NEVER LOOKED
SO OLD.

MEDLOCK BETRAYED ME.

HE STOLE MY LIFE FORCE,

AND THEN CAST ME ASIDE
LIKE A USELESS TOY.

I WOULD'VE DONE
ANYTHING FOR HIM,

AND THIS IS HOW
HE REPAYS MY LOYALTY.

I THOUGHT
WE WERE FRIENDS.

I'VE BEEN SUCH A FOOL.
[SNIFF]

YOU STUCK BY
THE WRONG PERSON,
SCARLETT.

HE WASN'T WORTHY
OF YOUR FRIENDSHIP.

WAIT A MINUTE.
IF MEDLOCK STOLE
YOUR LIFE FORCE,

THEN THAT MEANS--

HE'S BACK, AND EVEN
MORE POWERFUL.

WE'VE GOT TO STOP HIM!

THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE NOW.

EXCUSE ME.
NEED I REMIND YOU

THAT I'M THE ENDER,

THE CHOSEN ONE
OF SOME GOOFY OLD
PROPHECY?

[GASPS]

Veronica: I'LL JUST USE
THE SUNSTONE AMULET

LIKE I DID BEFORE.

CROSS OF SILVER,
RAY OF LIGHT.

IN ENDER'S HAND
SHALL END THE NIGHT.

AAAAAAAH!

Scarle YES,
BUT THAT WAS BEFORE

THE SUNSTONE
CRUMBLED TO DUST.

NOW ALL THAT'S LEFT
IS A USELESS TRINKET.

BUT I THOUGHT
THE PROPHECY SAID

THE AMULET COULD END
THE ETERNAL NIGHT.

YES, UNLESS MEDLOCK
BEFRIENDS THE CHOSEN ONE,

IN WHICH CASE
ALL HOPE IS LOST

AND THE SUN WILL
NEVER RISE AGAIN.

DOES THIS MEAN
THAT CREEPY VAMPIRE

IS GOING TO CRASH
MY PARTY,

LOOKING TO MAKE ME
HIS FRIEND?

WELL,
TECHNICALLY SPEAKING,

VAMPIRES CAN'T ENTER A HOME
UNLESS THEY'RE INVITED.

BUT SCARLETT'S HERE
AND SHE'S A VAMPIRE.

YEAH.
WHO INVITED YOU IN?

SOME CLOWN WHO
DIDN'T KNOW ANY BETTER.

SMITHERS!
SMITHERS!

[DOG BARKING]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

[GASPS]
GOOD EVENING.

I'M HERE
FOR THE PARTY.

A MOST IMPRESSIVE COSTUME.

DO COME IN.

WHY, THANK YOU.

YOUR ONLY CHANCE
TO THWART MEDLOCK

IS TO KEEP HIM
FROM GETTING HIS HANDS
ON VERONICA.

SHE'S THE CHOSEN ONE.
HUH?
HUH?

IF SHE BECOMES A VAMPIRE,

THEN ALL HOPE IS LOST.

[SNARLING]

AAAAH!

NOW THAT'S
A SCARY-LOOKING COSTUME!

YOU THINK SO?

OH, YEAH.

I'M REALLY
REGGIE MANTLE.

WHO ARE YOU
UNDER THAT UGLY MASK?

I AM THE
PROPHECIZED RULER OF
THE ETERNAL NIGHT.

I AM MEDLOCK,
LORD OF DARKNESS,

MASTER OF ALL
VAMPIRES.

NO, REALLY,
WHO ARE YOU?

NO, REALLY, I AM.

AAAAAAAAAH!

WE'VE GOT TO WARN
THE OTHERS

THAT THERE COULD BE
AN EVIL VAMPIRE
AT THE PARTY.

DON'T BE A FOOL!
SAVE YOURSELVES!

NO WAY!

THOSE ARE OUR FRIENDS
OUT THERE.

AND UNLIKE MEDLOCK,
REAL FRIENDS STICK BY
THEIR FRIENDS.

COME ON!

FRIENDS ARE WORTHLESS.
PROTECT THE CHOSEN ONE.

YOU MUST PROTECT
THE CHOSEN ONE!

THERE HE IS!

[GULPS]

NOW WHAT?
[GASP]

[SNARLS]
REGGIE,
PERFECT TIMING.

YOU'VE GOT TO PROTECT ME
FROM THE VAMPIRES.

[GROWLS]

THIS IS NO TIME
FOR FOOLING AROUND.

REGGIE,
I'M SERIOUS HERE!

TAKE OFF THAT STUPID--

[GASPS]

HI, RONNIE.

AAAAAH!

[GASPS]

REGGIE!
REGGIE!

GREAT PARTY, VERONICA.

I'VE EVEN MADE
A NEW FRIEND.

YOU REMEMBER
YOUR OLD PAL MEDLOCK...

DON'T YOU?

HE SURE REMEMBERS YOU.

HE'D LIKE US
TO GET TOGETHER
FOR A QUICK BITE.

[SNARLS]

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

UNH!

OOF!
OOF!

COME ON!

COME ON!

RUN, EVERYBODY!
RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

THE VAMPIRES ARE HERE!

[LAUGHTER]

HEY, I'M SERIOUS!

LET ME HANDLE THIS.

[CLEARS THROAT]
OK, EVERYONE, LISTEN UP.

THIS IS YOUR LOVELY HOSTESS
SPEAKING.

[CHEERING]

OH, WELL, YES,
THANK YOU.

I GUESS I DODESERVE THAT.

THANK YOU.

VERONICA!
VERONICA!

OH, RIGHT. SORRY.

THE PARTY IS OVER!

NOW GET OUT OF MY HOUSE
AND RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

HOW WAS THAT?
BETTER?

[GASPS]

[GASPING]
[GASPING]

[SCREAMING]

[ROARING]
[GROWLING]

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

WHAT ARE WE
GOING TO DO?

YOU'VE GOT A BLASTER.
BLAST THEM!

IT'S NOT HOLY WATER.

IT WILL JUST
MAKE THEM WET.

AND MAD!

[GROWLING]

AND MAD!

SO HOW DO YOU STOP
A VAMPIRE?

UM, UH...GARLIC--
GARLIC!

KITCHEN!
KITCHEN!

AAAAAH!

[GASPS]

[HISSES]

[WEAK MOAN]

RELAX, YOU'RE NOT
WORTH THE TROUBLE.

GARLIC POWDER?

SPICE RACK!

OH, THANK GOODNESS.

SMITHERS.

SMITHERS,
YOU'VE GOT TO HELP ME

GET ALL MY FRIENDS
OUT OF HERE BEFORE--

BEFORE WHAT?
[GASPS]

OH, NO! NOT YOU!

AAAAAAAAH!

[GASPS]
VERONICA!

[EVIL CHUCKLING]

HERE'S THE GARLIC.

HURRY, ARCHIE, HURRY!

[EVIL CHUCKLE]

AAAAAH!

ARCHIE!

AH, THE ANDREWS BOY.

HAVE SOME REFRESHING
GARLIC WATER!

WE ARE UNAMUSED.

AAAH! OOH!

ITCHES! ITCHES!
AAAH!

ITCHY, ITCHY, ITCHY!

WHEW!
WHEW!

I CAN'T BELIEVE
THEY GOT SMITHERS.

THIS IS TERRIBLE.

IT'S OK, VERONICA.
IT WASN'T
YOUR FAULT.

OH, I KNOW THAT.

IT'S JUST THAT
IF SMITHERS IS A VAMPIRE,

WHO'S GOING TO CLEAN UP
THIS MESS?

WELL, IT'S NOT
GOING TO BE ME.

WHAT? HEY!

HUH? JUGHEAD!
WHAAA!
ARCHIE!

RUN, ARCH!
THIS PLACE IS CRAWLING
WITH VAMPIRES!

I KNOW. I THOUGHT
YOU WERE ONE OF--

HA HA HA HA!
THEM! AAAAAH!

[GROWLS]

[GASPS]

HIYA, BUDDY!
[DEEP GROWL]

JUGHEAD,
WHERE'S ARCHIE?

HE WAS RIGHT
BEHIND ME.

ARCHIE? [GASPS]

AAAAAAAAH!

LET GO OF ME,
YOU SNAGGLETOOTHED
TRAITOR!

SNAGGLETOOTHED? MOI?

[DING DING]
I DON'T THINK SO.

SHARP AS EVER.

UNLIKE YOUR BRAIN,
WHICH IS AS DULL
AS EVER.

UNH!
OOF!

AAAAH!

ARCHIE! WHERE ARE YOU?

WHAT HAVE THEY DONE
WITH YOU?

Archie: RUN, BETTY!
GET HELP!

I'M NOT LEAVING
WITHOUT YOU!

[GASPS]

WELL, IF IT ISN'T
LITTLE MISS CHEERLEADER.

RAH-RAH
FOR THE HOME TEAM.

TOO BAD THEY'RE LOSING.

[GASPS]

GOING SOMEWHERE?

HA HA HA HA HA HA!

YOU'RE
ONE OF US NOW.

HA HA HA HA HA HA!

[GROWLING AND SNARLING]

[EVIL LAUGHTER]

WHERE'S THE ENDER,
THE CHOSEN ONE?

SHE'S GONE.

WE'LL NEVER
FIND HER NOW.

SHE COULD BE ANYWHERE.

WE DON'T HAVE
TO FIND HER.

WE'VE GOT SOMETHING
SHE WANTS.

HEY! UNH,
LET ME GO!

[GRUNTING]

ARCHIE?

WE'LL USE HER FRIEND
AS BAIT,

AND SHE'LL COME TO US.

AAAH! NO!

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

WE SHOULD'VE
DONE SOMETHING.

LIKE WHAT?
OFFER THEM OUR NECKS?

HE'S RIGHT.
IT'S USELESS.

MEDLOCK IS TOO POWERFUL.

[GASPS]

I'M NOT SAYING
WE SHOULD GIVE UP.

FRIENDS SHOULD
STICK BY THEIR FRIENDS.

I'M JUST SAYING
WE SHOULDN'T
DO SOMETHING

UNTIL WE'VE GOT
SOMETHING TO DO.

[RATTLING]
HUH?

AAAH!
AAAH!
AAAH!

[RATTLING]

GUUUHH!

DILTON?

HIYA.

I SAW VAMPIRES.

Both: WE KNOW.

SCARLETT, WHERE DID
MEDLOCK TAKE THEM?

THEY'LL TURN YOU
INTO A VAMPIRE,

AND THE SUN WILL
NEVER RISE AGAIN.

DON'T YOU SEE?
MEDLOCK WILL WIN.

WE HAVE TO TRY.

WHAT MEDLOCK
DID TO YOU WAS WRONG.

WE CAN'T ABANDON
OUR FRIENDS LIKE THAT.

WE NEED YOU, SCARLETT.

WILL YOU HELP US?

WILL YOU BE OUR FRIEND?

YOU'LL NEVER WIN,
BUT I'LL HELP YOU TRY.

ALL RIGHT!
NOW YOU'RE
TALKIN'!

ARCHIE!

OH, ARCHIEKINS,
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

HIYA, RONNIE.

[GASPS]

UH-OH.

MAKE THAT
A DOUBLE-DECKER UH-OH,

WITH EXTRA CHEESE
ON TOP.

AAAAAH!

AAH! AAAH! ITCHES!

[GROWLS AND SNORTS]

UH-OH.

SCRATCH THE ITCH,
SCRATCH! OOH!

WHOA!

WHEW! MANY THANKS,
REGGIE--AAAAH!

HUH?

[GROWLING]

YAAA!
YAAA!

SAY HELLO TO YOUR OLD FRIEND
VAMPRONICA.

IT IS DONE!

I AM TRIUMPHANT.

THE SUN SHALL
NEVER RISE AGAIN,

AND I, MEDLOCK,
SHALL RULE

OVER THE
ETERNAL DARKNESS.

[COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO]

[COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO]

HOW CAN THIS BE?

I'VE BEFRIENDED
THE CHOSEN ONE.

THE SUN CAN'T RISE
UNLESS--

UNLESS
WE WERE MISTAKEN.

UNLESS VERONICA LODGE
WAS NEVER THE ENDER
TO BEGIN WITH.

SCARLETT--

YOU COULD'VE RULED
WITH ME BY YOUR SIDE,

BUT YOU USED ME,
MEDLOCK.

YOU ABANDONED
YOUR MOST LOYAL FRIEND.

WHY, SCARLETT HELSING IS
THE CHOSEN ONE, THE ENDER?

I'VE GOT NEW FRIENDS
NOW, MEDLOCK,

FRIENDS THAT
UNDERSTAND LOYALTY.

FRIENDS THAT STICK BY
THEIR FRIENDS.

CROSS OF SILVER,
RAY OF LIGHT,

IN ENDER'S HAND
WILL END THE NIGHT.

NO!

NO!

[ALL GASPING]

RAVEN AND RED
UPON THEIR HEADS,
DESTINY AWAKENS.

ONE GIRL IS THE ENDER
WHILE ANOTHER
IS MISTAKEN.

IT WAS YOU ALL ALONG,
NOT ME.

YOU ENDED
THE ETERNAL NIGHT.

YOU SAVED US ALL!

NO, YOU ALL
SAVED ME.

I NEVER WOULD HAVE
REALIZED MY DESTINY

IF IT HADN'T BEEN
FOR YOUR FRIENDSHIP.

THANKS TO YOU
I AM FINALLY FREE.

Archie: SCARLETT HELSING
HAD BEEN AN EVIL VAMPIRE
FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS,

BUT SHE FINALLY FOUND PEACE
THE DAY SHE DISCOVERED
TRUE FRIENDSHIP.

VERONICA'S PARENTS GOT HOME
FROM THEIR CHARITY GALA

AND FLIPPED AT THE MESS
WAITING FOR THEM.

I DON'T KNOW IF THEY'LL
EVER LET VERONICA HAVE
ANOTHER HALLOWEEN PARTY,

BUT THEN AGAIN,
WHAT PARTY COULD EVER
LIVE UP TO THE YEAR

WHEN THE REAL VAMPIRES
CAME TRICK OR TREATING...

IN A LITTLE TOWN
CALLED RIVERDALE.