Aqua Teen Hunger Force (2000–2015): Season 11, Episode 2 - Brain Fairy - full transcript

Y'all ready for this?

My name is..

I'm Meatwad, I'm a beef blob

I'm an igloo, or a hot dog

I'm street, I got the beat /what/ /boom/

You mess with me, you get concrete feet. /yeah, bitches/

I got jacked by the cops and shot my tater tots

busted the Mooninites for slinging moon rocks.

Milk, Milk, lemonade /fools/

around the corner, fudge is made

yeah I like spraying booties with my ice-cream straw



treat my hos like a cop's bear claw

Got a Meatwad watch and a lemonade Shake

do fries go with that?

Here come the drum break

Aw, doughnuts

/Yeah, boy/

***

Aqua Teen won't ever be canceled

Aqua Teen won't be dismantled

Aqua Teen gonna be together

Aqua Teen, we're gonna be forever

Oh, no, you di-n't!

Frylock be sleeping late today.

Yeah, when's he gonna get up and make us breakfast?



It's past noon.

You don't think he's dead, do you?

Well, there's only one way to find out.

Wake your sorry ass up!

Whoooooo!

Ear hurty!

Yeah, that's right.

And stomach growly, so get cracking.

Ow! Hot! Hot! Hot!

Ow! Hot! Hot! Hot!

Yes, you have reached a suitable temperature.

Now cook the crepes!

Breakfast time, breakfast time

breakfast, breakfast, breakfast time

I think something's wrong with Frylock.

Yum, yummy, yummy in my tummy, tummy, tummy

nom, nom, nom

Oh, use a fork, you animal!

The jewel.

It's gone.

Ain't that where he gets his smarts?

I can count to this much.

These crepes are severely undercooked.

I'm sowwy. I'm sowwy!

Well, if someone took Frylock's brain,

and in his brain,

he's keeping the memory of where he put his money,

we're in trouble.

Well, I don't know about you,

but I have allowance.

Because Frylock give it to you every damn week.

Yeah, well, I'll just start saving it now.

And the house is free,

and so are the utilities and the cable.

Me-- Meatwad?

Meatwad?!

There ain't no money in here.

You idiot! I seen him type on this thing

and talk about putting money places in here.

We could have pawned that for like a hundred bucks,

we would have lived like kings!

You're getting a job!

Maybe he got money in here.

Oh, God. Ooh, that tickles.

He does not smell good.

It's salty in here. No, keep -- keep tickling.

I found a note!

What's it say?

'Cause I've read a lot already today,

so I'm gonna let you read it,

as a test if you know how to read.

Yeah, I'd love to do it for both of us,

but uh, I don't --

I ain't got my reading glasses,

so maybe, um...

Why don't you knock it out? Shoot.

My reading glasses are gone, too.

I was reading the dictionary today,

and a bird came

and swiped them right off my face.

Craziest thing I ever saw.

What if we just, like, stare at it, you know?

Maybe it -- like, it'll read itself.

Is that how it works? Yeah. Maybe.

We could try. All right.

Let's read this thing.

"In the event of jewel loss,

restore mental capaci-- capacity

by charging auxiliary backup bling."

Yes, but what does it mean?

It's probably this thing right here.

What's wrong with him?

He -- he's gonna be okay, right? He's fine.

He just dumb.

Ohh, my head.

The jewel!

The jewel of idahocules! Where is it?

I don't know. Sound like a personal problem.

You got your driver's license, right?

You took the test, like we talked. Yeah, man.

Yeah, I passed that thing yesterday.

Wait a minute.

Yesterday...

Yesterday...

Okay, um, fill this out.

I'll take care of most of it.

Just need your address, where you go to bed,

and are you gonna be an organ donor?

Please say yes. Please say yes. Please say yes.

Uh, sure.

I won't need them if I die, right?

Yeah, what if you're --

you know, what if you're alive?

What? Just joshing.

Where's your brain?

Where the hell is your brain, man?

Asking me a question like that. Just joshing.

All brains are in the head.

Have a good day.

That's it! We've got to go to the dmv.

Carl, we need to borrow your car.

Whoa, whoa, you do whatever you want,

but you're dropping me at crotchtown first

for the wet t-shirt contest.

I mean, tonight's the regionals.

Look at that smug son of a bitch.

He took my damn jewel. I know it.

Damn it. I need to stay plugged
into the cigarette lighter.

Shake, you need to go in there

and apply for a license,

and make sure you say you're an organ donor.

You know, talk a lot of shit about your brain

and pretend to be smart.

Pretend? Never mind. Meatwad, you do it.

No, no, no. I know what "pretend" means.

Lying. I'm very good at that.

Yes, I'm, uh --

I'm here for my automobile captaining license.

Let's hurry, please.

You see, I'm a scientist,

and I need to drive to my lab,

which is chock-full with robots,

I assure you.

Hmm, smarter than usual.

Quickly fill this out.

I'll take care of most of it.

Just need your address, where you go to bed,

and are you an organ donor?

Please say yes. Please say yes. Please say yes.

No! How dare you accuse me of that!

Hang on, Shake. That ain't what Frylock said.

I am going to need my organs in heaven.

Hmm. That's very disappointing.

I was gonna just give you the license,

but now I guess we'll have to take the driving test.

What the hell? He's making him drive?

Okay, merge right.

Okay, failed that.

Okay, let's parallel park over there.

Are -- are you asking me to stop?

Where's "s" for stop on this?

Please come to a complete stop.

You failed stop. Stop telling me what to do.

Remember, I'm smart here.

Remember the robots I spoke of?

Go on ahead and make a right turn up here.

All right, where's the Russian coke peddler?

How do I get out of this to beat up the whore?

You are the worst non-organ-doning driver

I've ever seen.

You've destroyed a lot of city property,

and you will go to jail,

unless you check the organ donor box.

And all this goes away.

Please say yes. Please say yes. Please say yes.

You know what? I'll say yes.

I'll be an organ donor. Oh, goodie.

I'm giving him a license --

your license.

You'll be begging him for rides.

Come on! He didn't even drive!

And guess what. I'm smart.

I'm intelligents as hell, boy.

Yeah, you are...

For now.

Oh, man.

I can't wait to tell Carl

that I got me my driver's license.

You ain't gonna tell Carl shit.

You dive out when I say when.

Yeah, he's probably gonna be a real jerk

and start asking about his car.

All he thinks about is himself.

What's with that guy, right? Listen, shut up.

You don't know nothing about this car, you understand?

All you know is you saw some
big black guy messing with it.

That's all you know.

How we gonna pick him up at the strip club

if a big black guy dumped his car in the ocean?

A big black guy didn't --

look, that's the least of our concerns right now, okay?

Ready?

When!

Wait, unplug me. Unplug me. Unplug me!

Oh, great. Now we have to walk.

Unbelievable. We should probably go in after him,

don't you think? And get wet?

No. Yeah, good point.

Let's go home, and we'll go swimming. Yeah.

See you later, chum.

See what I did there... With the word "chum"? No.

Chum!

Chum. Classic Shake.

I don't get it. I'm not gonna explain it.

It will ruin it.

Where's the brain in this do-hicky?

I ain't got no brain.

No brain? Madness.

Stop, thief! Oh, you.

Is this your lab?

Where are all those robots you were talking about?

Well, you know, they are out back

lubing their chassis.

It ain't your concern.

You missed your shot with this, pal, okay?

So you two have fun. Good night.

Do not wake me up.

I guess I'll be keeping this shiny-ass nickel?

Wait a minute, hold on.

Let's -- let's not be hasty here.

I mean, we're all friends, right?

And I-I got a brain.

And I will give it to you for that nickel.

Hand over the brain.

Don't worry about it. It's in there.

Here. Crack the lid.

Take -- take a little peek for yourself.

That's too small. It can't be a brain.

It powers the whole shebang.

Well, I'm gonna get it,

but it wasn't worth the trip.

Yeah, we got him!

Ohh! We got his ass!

What the hell, man? Y'all were just gonna let me drown, weren't you?

No. I mean, yeah...

Chum.

What the hell? You were just gonna let me

walk home from crotchtown, weren't you?

Hey, Carl. Look. I got my driver's license.

Well, good for you. Where's my car?

Oh. Ye-- right.

Some big black guy stole it and dumped it in the ocean.

That's how they do.

It's a cultural thing, I think.

Ohh. My -- my intelligence!

Out of the way.

Get out of the way -- clear the door.

Out of my way.

Aah!

Hey. Hey.

What the hell was that all about,
man? Huh? Well, I just --

oh, I just like whipping brains at people.

That's my thing. I'm a brain fairy.

You're the brain fairy.

There is no brain fairy,

you flipping idiot.

I just pretend to be the brain fairy,

to get my hands on all these brains, you know?

I'm gonna wire them together somehow with something

and get in the paper.

Follow your bliss, you know?

Me, I pick boogers and put them into stuff.

The booger fairy!

Yes, it is I, the booger fairy.

Is my son here?

Dad! Don't look at me, dad!

Throwing brains, huh?

Kind of thought we'd grown out of that.

I can throw them real far now. Watch, dad.

You got a lot of your mom in you.

Boy, did she do a number on you.

I just wanted to be a fairy like you.

You're never gonna be like me.

Well, look at this.

I'm working half my life

scraping and scraping my little hands to the bone.

And now I'm sitting on three tons of mucus,

and for what?

I can't bring that with me when I die.

You could give it to me in your will. No! No!

I'm not gonna just hand you my fortune.

Boogers are worthless,

but you're gonna work for it, like I did.

How about we say...

A shiny nickel for all these?

Does that work for you? That's about
10 years worth of boogers down there.

How about we say...

Five shiny-ass pennies? Now you talking.

Most of those were mine! Not them green ones. That's my trademark.

You know, son, it's flu season,

and that elementary school up the street

is just encrusted with nose goblins.

I could use an intern.

That would be swell, dad.

Then begone, ye. Off to boogertopia.

Get out of my way. Get out of both of our ways.

Get out of the way. You're just wasting brains, son.

Oh, together we will make for
the very smartest of teams.

Aight. Good night, y'all.

Dancing is forbidden

forbidden

Dancing is for-for-forbidden

dancing is forbidden

forbidden

a-made, made in Georgia