Aquí no hay quien viva (2003–2006): Season 1, Episode 6 - Érase un resbalón - full transcript
Emilio, I was looking for you
Well now you've found me. How are you?
What are you doing?
Thinking about life. Don't you ever ask yourself those questions?
Where did we come from? Where are we headed?
You need to go up to the third floor and fix a socket for those 2 whores
but my contract doesn't say anything about fixing sockets
actually it doesn't say anything about anything because I haven't got a contract
Go on! I'll give you a little something for your troubles later
Great, that should pay for a trip to the Caribbean
Emilio, this staircase is a disgrace. It's so neglected
It's just old, Doña Paloma
When was the last time you waxed it?
Never
It shows. Well look now you've got a job for today then
Yes but to wax we need a machine
Yeah right you need a machine! All you need is a rag, a tin of wax, and a bit of elbow grease. Just like it's always been done
But I've got a bad back and a slipped disk in my spine
"Wax on, wax off"
Jose Miguel, come on!
Mind how you go! Wouldn't want you to fall over and knock your teeth out on a bench
Just an idea
Every day's like this
and I couldn't imagine it when I moved here
All I was looking for was a bit of peace and quiet
And I wake up every day in the middle of a hurricane
This is no kind of life for anyone, anyone
The house is falling down about my feet
The caretaker's nowhere to be found
The neighbours' watch everything I do
I can't take this place
Put together a cocktail shaker
thunder and lightning, an earthquake, and a volcano
and you'll get this staircase
This is no kind of life for anyone, anyone
Mauri, it's up to you but I don't think you’re ready to go out running with me
That doesn't matter. If I get tired, I'll get a taxi back
Anyway, those shoes weren't designed for running
No, they were designed for ballet. Give me a break, would you!
I need to do some exercise, I spend all day sitting down
Ok, but don't slow me down, I go at my own pace
Ok
Hey, watch out, I've just...
Mauri!
waxed
Fuck, what a fall he's taken
What's up man?
Who are you meant to be? The maid?
No, Lucia's been going on about me not cleaning. When she comes back, she'll be suprised
Look, I even put a wash on
What program did you use?
No, nothing. Well done
And I spent 2 hours ironing, what do you reckon?
Fuck, and you've still got all that left to do
No, no, that's the stuff I’ve already ironed
Oh well, never mind. People wear them like that nowadays
And now I need to mop the floor
They drive you nuts, man
Hey, do you know what the deal is with the soap?
Sure, since I drunk some when I was little, I've got them down like you wouldn't believe
Look, this one's for wood
this one's for the bathroom
this one's for glass
and this one's for polishing
Each one's got a different use
Right, I'll chuck a bit of everything in and it should do me for the whole house
Congrats man, you've invented Rob's multipurpose cleaner
A little bit of this
Emilio, can't you come back another time? I've gotta go out
Well go! Doña Concha told me I've gotta fix this and that's what I'm doing!
I'm not leaving you alone in my house
What's wrong, sweetheart? Got a date, have you?
None of your business! Get a move on, would you!
What do you think I'm doing? Think I've got nothing better to do than make conversation with you out of pity?
Look Emilio, if you were the last man left on the face of the earth, I swear I'd become a lesbian
Well, you do look a bit like a lesbo actually
What's your problem? Do I tell you what you look like?
What do I look like?
I don't know, there's nothing to look at
Look, leave me alone, I'm trying to work here, ok?
Leave that alone, you moron
Taking you bloody 7 hours to fix one shitty little wire
So what are you gonna call him?
Nothing! I'm only 2 weeks late
Anyway, I bet it's just stress
But have you told Roberto yet?
No, what for?
Maybe he'd like to know he's gonna be a dad
But he's not gonna be a dad!
No way! It's not his!
No! I don't want to worry him. We've got enough on our plate with moving in together
Besides, would you leave Roberto on his own with a baby?
No. I'd hire a babysitter to take care of them both
Why don't you take the test?
No, I'm sure it's a false alarm
Wow, this is so exciting!
I don't know
Right
Hey don't breathe a word of this to anyone, alright?
Come on, we're friends!
Belen, wait till you hear this. You're gonna flip
Where are you?
Belen?
Oh sorry, sorry
Leave, leave!
But what for? She's seen me now
No Emilio, go back to your house
Alicia!
Sorry, I couldn't believe my eyes
Go, go!
But I can’t go now!
No, go back to your house! Leave now!
Well, I'll come back another time, ok?
Whenever you want
I don't wanna hear a word about it
No, no, my lips are sealed
No way! You slept with Emilio! How did it happen?
I don't know
But what was it? Love at first sight? Ginseng? Red tea infusions?
Look Alicia, stop hassling me!
It’s just that it’s an X file
Yeah well...we all make mistakes in life sooner or later
With Emilio! You can't fall any lower than this
I bet you he's gonna start bragging to everyone about it
Come on, it's not that big a deal
You felt a sudden attraction to someone else. You hadn't had sex forever, Belen
That's not good for you. It makes you tense and...
No shit! With Emilio!
Screw you!
Come on girl, don't get angry
Emilio's a great catch. He'll take out the trash, water the plants, bring the mail to the house
I never wanna set eyes on him again!
Well that's gonna be a bit tricky
he's the caretaker
Well, what do you think? I've been hard at it, right?
Well yeah, good...you set the washing machine, did a bit of ironing
But I thought you were gonna clean!
Fuck, that's what I’ve done and with a shit load of elbow grease
Well the bathroom's worse than it was this morning
Did you sweep up before you mopped the floor?
Did you use disinfectant?
What?
Roberto, you have to use disinfectant for bacteria
There might not be bacteria. Have you seen it?
Maybe someone just invented bacteria to sell more detergent
You're so naive
Also, what have you done to the floor? You've taken off all the shine
No shit, I'm still getting an earful
Hey, please, put things back where they're supposed to go
I know you, you're doing it badly on purpose so you can get out of it
But sorry honey, that's a very old trick...just look at the state of this glass!
Hey, look, I'm doing my best! But mopping, sweeping and ironing's a pain in the arse
What you think I enjoy it? Of course not, but someone has to do it
Anyway, this house is too big. It's too much for one person to do on their own
We need to hire a couple from the Philippines or something
Couple from the Philippines!
Actually, I know, I'll ask my mum to come round a couple times a week
You can't ask your mum to come round and clean!
That way she'll get to see me. She says she really misses me
Right, look Roberto, seriously, I work a ton of hours
so I need someone to help me clean the flat
There's a name for that...a cleaning lady
Fine then, let's hire a cleaning lady
Ok. But you'll sort it out, right?
How are you doing? Are the crutches alright?
Yeah, super comfortable. Wait till you see how stiff my arms are tomorrow
Oh well, you said you wanted to do some exercise
Wow, what happened to you?
Nothing, I felt bored this morning, so I said to myself why not throw myself down the stairs?
It was Emilio's fault. He's been waxing the steps. As if they weren't already dangerous enough
The ideas Emilio gets in his head!
Look, here's the medical report so you can use it claim the insurance
What insurance?
Civil liability, the one the community's got that covers us for these kinds of accidents
Oh, that insurance! You know, we've got so many
Don’t worry, I'll manage all this for you, it'll be fine
Right well just so you know, they need to pay for time off work, medical expenses and all that
The standard things for these cases
Ok, See you later
Don't go too fast, Mauri!
You're enjoying this, aren't you?
Listen, I'm gonna make croquettes and a little salad
Juan, what's wrong?
You look like someone's just died
We haven't got that insurance, Paloma
We haven't renewed the policy for the last 3 years
Don't scare me!
Well it was because nothing bad ever happens
Until it does happen, Juan, until it does happen!
What a mess! I'm the one who’s responsible. I could go to jail for this
Calm down! You won't have to take all the heat for this on your own.
Come on. Listen, I won't make any dinner or anything now
What we're gonna do is make a plan
Paco, come here
What's up?
I got my leg over with Belen
Fuck! Belen?
Yeah
Who's Belen?
The one from the third floor
Oh the...
What the fuck man? I didn't know she was...
No me neither. It happened out of the blue. I went up there to fix a socket
We started arguing and you know
Emilio, you stud! I heard you made it big!
Hey, you two haven't heard anything about this, alright?
No, no, no, relax
Hey, you took precautions, right man?
Come off it. The only thing I had with me was a screwdriver
The only rubber up there was there was in the kitchen gloves
Shit man, she was out to trap you
What are you talking about?
Yeah, when women turn 30 and don't have a boyfriend, they start getting obsessed about becoming mothers
so they get in a rush to have kids and hunt down any bloke they can. It's their body clock
But I can't see any clock
Emilio, you've fucked up, man
I reckon you're gonna get stuck with a little Belen
Sure and she'll end up hooking up with another caretaker. It's fate, man
Hey, don't you two say anything about this to anyone! Come on, out!
Yeah right! We can't let an opportunity like this slide
Sure, it all makes sense. I'm young, handsome, responsible, hardworking, smart
What more could any girl want?
She wants to trap me, What am I gonna do Paquito?
I dunno. Why don't you rent 3 Men and a Baby?
Ok, alright
I'll go get it
Roberto, Roberto, honey!
What?
Wake up, Isabel's here
Hello
No, the cleaner Isabel
Come on, get up so I can introduce you cos I've gotta go to work
What time is it though?
8:27
Hey, but she's not gonna come at this time every day, is she?
It's because she’s got other houses to do. Come on
Fuck! Why doesn't she start with those ones then?
I don't know! Ask her that
Good morning
Look Isabel, this is Roberto
Sorry handsome. Did I wake you up?
No, no, I was doing some stuff
That's alright then. Well, where shall I start?
Wherever you like
Ok, I'll do the bedroom so you can take a shower and then I'll get to the bathroom
Let's see who finishes first
See you later, hope it goes alright
Hey
What?
I wanted to go back to bed
Well quick, go and tell her then. See you later honey
Fine, I'll get up now then
Well, the fact is we don't have insurance and he needs to be paid for time off work
his medical expenses, and maybe compensation. And Fernando's a lawyer remember
If he reports us, we could get in a lot of trouble
You mean you could get in a lot of trouble. You're President
No, no, no, because we all agreed not to renew the insurance policy
It was 60 thousand pesetas that came in handy to install the new intercom
I don't remember that
Well it's in the minutes of the meeting, so if I'm going down, I'm taking you all with me
I think if we talked to them and offered them some money...
No, no, no, if that guy wants to throw himself down the stairs, let him
But we're not paying for it
Right, he should have been more careful and not fallen
Well, what are we gonna do then because my husband and I aren't paying for it all
Don't you think he might have slipped on all that oil he oozes?
Hello
Make a space for us please
Yes, sure
Mauri, how's that leg?
Well, I'm in more pain than before. Let's see what the doctor says
Oh so you're going back to the doctor’s?
Come on, that's nothing! You're very young
You know, if it were me, I'd take off the plaster and walk normally
The doctor said I need to keep it on for a month
Yeah right, if I had a penny for everything the doctor tells me to do
Well, anyway, thanks a lot for your concern
Thanks
You're welcome, we're here to help if you ever you need anything
By the way Fernando, do you know how much the insurance company have to pay?
No, I don't. They need to calculate that
Right, ok, but how do they do that? I mean...
You know, I'm not buying any of it. I reckon he's faking
Why would he do that?
For money! Are you stupid or what?
If we give him a little push, he'll support himself on his bad leg
Well, it's worth a try, right?
Yeah, it's not a bad idea
Afternoon
Morning
Right that
Look out!
Emilio!
What?
Can you come upstairs and fix a socket for me?
Señora, what have they been telling you?
Nothing, but let me know when you’ve got your wedding list so I can buy you the cheapest present
You're so funny! You're killing me here
Right Isabel, see you later
Oh no, wait, look at the state of that shirt
Give it here and I'll iron it in a jiffy
No, this is one of those ones you wear creased
What? You can’t wear it creased! Come on, take it off
No, really thanks but I'm gonna be late
No, no! You're not going out on the street with your shirt like that. Come on!
Ok, Isabel, but I'll take it off myself
Here you go
Wow, you're all flesh and bones! Who knows what you eat? I bet it's pure frozen food and ready made meals
and that's if you eat at all
Listen, I'll get some shopping in and from now on, you're gonna eat properly
What kind of food do you like?
I eat anything
How refreshing! Because my kids won't eat anything. I've got 3
But the youngest just wants pizza, hamburgers, you can't make him eat anything else
my older sister's kids, though, now that's another story...
because I've got 2 sisters, yeah 3 girls
My sister used to put spinach out on the table and say "you're not going anywhere until you've eaten it all up"
but you know what, they can't have eaten it all cos now they’re 30 and still live at home
How's that shirt coming along?
I'll be done in a second. Well my niece, you know she works in a clinic, she tells us these stories that upset my husband
and now he's on the dole, and I can't see him finding work
because we're not spring chickens anymore, you know
Sure, right. Hey, look, I'll put on another shirt and you can give me that one back later, ok?
No, no, I'll give you this one back right now. It looks great on you. Have you got brothers and sisters?
Yeah...I mean, no, I'm an only child
Ah, it shows.
Right, well listen...
Señor Juan Cuesta, Lucia Alvarez, Regina Acuña. Who's that?
Emilio, contratulations man, I heard about you and Belen
Come on, show a bit of respect, that’s personal
Well everyone knows about it, man
Señor Cuesta too?
Emilio, I need to have a word with you
Yeah, him too
What do you expect if you talk about it in front of kids?
Come on
In you come
Emilio, it's come to my attention that you're engaging in intimate relations with a tenant in this building
Yes but don't worry, it's not your wife
Right, I figured as much. You mustn't forget that you're an employee here and this is your workplace
And I consider it completely inappropriate to mix work with this kind of thing
Señor Cuesta, I don't know what came over me. I lost control of myself...
Do you think I don't have to resist temptation in my job at the school?
That there aren't young and pretty female teachers in skirts and with cleavage
who'd like nothing better than to learn from a mature man like myself?
Well, there are, Emilio. There are
Yeah
And the mums...you should see how the mums come to get their kids
But I stand strong because I've got a duty
There's this redhead. I know she wants me, I can tell
and you should see her. She's....well...you know
This won't happen again, Señor Juan, seriously
And the one from the canteen. You see her and say to yourself "God, I'd like a piece of that."
Well, anyway, I'm off to have my lunch. Let's see what my wife's made for me
Fuck, what a mess
This is infuriating
Fernando!
What?
I'm bored, go get me a film from the video store
I'll go in a minute, hang on a sec
Oh that's nice, so I'm crippled here and you can't even go downstairs for a film
Mauri, I'm in the middle of some paperwork
Fine! I'll go down myself
You're exasperating, you know that
No, I'm bored and crippled, and my leg itches, and these crutches are super uncomfortable
Come on, sit down, I'll go
Oh so you think I'm useless?
You just asked me to go down for you!
No, I don't trust you to get me a decent film
Well, look, I was thinking about getting Airplane or Hero or The Harder they Fall
Haha aren't you funny?
I'm dying of laughter here
He's gone out. Come on, let's go
I can't believe it. He seems like a nice boy to me
No, damn it, he's faking
Hi Mauri, how are you?
Fine, just on my way down to the video store
Right, we'll give you a hand, shall we?
no, there's no need
Come on now, we wouldn't you to have another fall
Señora, hey!
Well it's true, he wasn't faking it, after all
What happened?
She goes to work really early. I reckon he doesn't do anything
Of course, it's obvious he lives off her
Yeah, right, she must be making good money because this kitchen is really expensive
Not everyone can afford a kitchen like this. I think I've seen it in a magazine
No! Her dad's the one with the money. He's the one who bought them the flat
Hey, what's the bedroom like?
Too modern for my taste but she's got tons of clothes
Really? Is it designer clothing?
Yeah, all of it! Listen, you wouldn't believe the shoes she's got or the bags
Sure, if I didn't have kids, I'd be the same!
Hello!
Oh hello Roberto!
Look, I've gotta go, ok? It was nice meeting you
And remember, come up for a coffee whenever you want, ok, bye!
What are you doing? Who were you talking to?
The neighbours! They're so friendly!
Hey, what's that you’ve got there?
What? Oh this! It's an old t-shirt you had in your wardrobe. It's just that I needed some rags
But why didn't you ask me first? My first girlfriend gave me that for my birthday!
I was really fond of it
Oh well, now you're with another girl so what do you want it for?
Right, I'll just finish the bathroom and then I'll make you lunch, ok?
No, don't worry about it, thanks anyway. I've got a meeting. I'll get something while I’m out
Hang on a second. First you're gonna eat, and then you can go wherever you want
Come on, sit down and wait for me there. I'll be right back
For fuck's sake!
Hey, be careful!
Out of the way!
Ok, ok!
Be careful please! Fuck! Be careful!
No, no, no, leave me here!
Right, that's it
He's very fragile, isn't he?
Of course I'm fragile, I've broken everything
Hey, why are you lying me down now?
Cos we're gonna need to lift you up
Goodness me, what's happened to you?
He fell down the stairs again
I didn't fall! I was pushed!
Here we go again. He's stubborn. He doesn't realise that it takes time to get used to using crutches
He wouldn't let us help him!
Fernando, don't let those 2 near me!
But it's not serious, is it?
No, they just gave me this plaster to go with my other one
Right, come on, we'll lift you
No, not up the stairs!
Ok, let's carry him by hand!
You can say that again
Hang on, let me take this off
You're not gonna be able to carry me
1, 2, 3!
One step at a time, ok?
Ow! Ow!
We're almost there, relax, relax
Up we go!
If they ask us for more money now, you two are gonna have to pay it
That's rich coming from you! It was your idea!
I'm gonna go see if they need anything
Right, well, thanks very much for everything
Cheer up! Don’t worry, it's nothing, that thing's more for show than anything else
You'll be up on your feet again in no time
What a state you've left my kidneys in
I'll send my boy in to draw on your plaster later on. He's great at drawing
Ok, bye, see you later. I love how you've decorated the place, I hadn't seen it before
Juan, look at the colour of the sofa
Bye and thanks again
Fernando, we need to get out of this place
Why don't we go live in the countryside?
And we can make goat's cheese and grow tomatoes
Sure, you'll be in your element with all those creepy crawlies
Haven't you realised we're surrounded by a gang of homophobes?
Look Mauri, is there no way you might have tripped over your crutches?
Anyway, you're laying accusations against the neighbours without any hard evidence
Here we go again! The right honorable barrister driving me round the bend!
Anyway, how can they be homophobes if they don’t know we’re gay?
Fernando, the only one round here who hasn't realised you’re gay is you
Right, welcome to this informal emergency meeting
Today we'll start with the questions and answers
Oh and I kindly ask you not to make a point of verifying for yourselves the veracity of the injuries of the tenant in 1B
because every time you do it, it's going to cost us more money. I won't ask who did it
Her
Grass!
Right, now that we've straightened that out, let's move on to the next point: what are we going to do?
Well, they say third time lucky. Another little push and problem solved
Marisa, please
It was Emilio's fault for waxing the stairs. Let him pay for it, we can take it off his salary
Hey, Doña Paloma told me to wax!
Emilio, don't tell lies, please! I don't do anything without first running it by my husband
Right, sure you don't
I'll talk to you later!
Hello, look, I've brought the new medical report for you to send to the insurance company
because naturally now the expenses are going to increase
Oh really?
Of course, now the injuries are more serious, but that's what the insurance is for, right?
Sure, let them pay for it
Oh is there a neighbours' meeting?
No, no
Hi!
It's a friendly get-together, we're having a little drink
Oh, right. And has the insurance claims handler confirmed what day he's coming?
Yes, but there's going to be a delay because they're a bit busy, you know
because there was a stampede in the crowd at an El Fary concert, you know what music fans are like
Oh, well you know what, give me their phone number and I'll call them
No, but I got serious with them. I said if a claims handler's not here by tomorrow
we'll be taking this to court. Because there's a neighbour here who's going through a really rough time
Great, so someone's coming tomorrow then?
Right, tomorrow
Right, brilliant
Well enjoy yourselves!
See you later. Say hi to Mauri for me
What a mess!
What did you tell him that for?
What was I supposed to do? Tell him we've got no insurance and let them report us all
So what are we gonna do now?
Well, it's obvious Juan. Tomorrow a claims handler needs to show up here!
Well I don't know where we’re gonna get him from
Alright
Wow! The place looks immaculate and it smells great, right?
Bollocks! I can't find a thing in here
What's wrong?
That woman's been touching my stuff and now I can't find my black marker or my blue one or my red one
and I've got to draw Superman
Have a little kiss. Everything looks really tidy
Sure, that's why I can’t find anything
On top of that, she made me lunch and I had to have 3 helpings
Why?
I was eating it fast cos I was in a hurry and she thought I really liked it so she kept giving me more helpings
But why didn't you say anything to her?
When? She never shuts up!
I already know where her kids work, her aunt's latest medical ops.
If I wasn't a cartoonist, I could write her biography
Poor dear! She must be so lonely
What do you mean lonely? She already knows half the people in the building
She's told them all about our life
Lucia, this has got to stop
Look, remmember it was your idea to hire a cleaning lady
Yeah but she's not a cleaning lady, she's like my mum
Worse actually because on top of that we have to pay her
Come on, you're going over the top
Over the top! Look, look what she did to my t-shirt
Yeah but that was ancient!
Right, well listen Lucia, I'm really sorry but I can't get on with that woman
Alright, fine. Talk to her and tell her not to come back anymore
Why can't you tell her?
No, no, this is your business
What's wrong? Haven't you got the balls?
What? You wait and see! Tomorrow I'll kick her the fuck out of here!
Alicia! The neighbours are giving me strange looks, I'm sure they know everything
Yeah, I've seen some paparachis at the door, be careful!
Emilio's let the cat out of the bag, he must have
But have you talked to him?
What? Why would I wanna talk to that idiot?
Poor guy, he looks devastated to me
Put yourself in his shoes. First you drag him into your bed and then you ignore him!
That's what you do with all your guys
We're not talking about me. Also, Emilio’s more sensitive. I reckon he's fallen for you
No, no! Shit! Shit!
But where's the problem if you like each other?
But I don't like him!
What did you sleep with him for then?
I don't know. It was a...I don't know what it was
Belen, you need to talk to Emilio. You can't go around hurting people, it's really bad for your karma
Like you know anything about karma!
And now I'm gonna have to go talk to him
Don't mind me!
Don't leave your toys lying around! And what are you doing sleeping on the sofa?
Look what a state you've left the sofa in! Look! For fuck's sake!
Emilio! I told you to lay the table 20 minutes ago!
Where am I supposed to lay it? There's no space anywhere!
Listen, get the kids and take them to the park
To the park? To the zoo more like it so I can lock them up in a cage
Dad, show a bit of respect!
Give me a break boy. What was his name? I can't take this anymore, I can't take this anymore! What's happening to me?
Emilio, I've been to the doctor's. I'm expecting twins
Go with your father, go on, both of you
Get off me, you animals! animals!
Amimals! animals!
Fuck, I can't live like this
Right Isabel, I'm off, see you later
Wow, how pretty you look in your work clothes. It's a treat just looking at you
Keep your voice down! Roberto's sleeping
Don't worry. I'll be as quiet as a mouse
Right, bye
Bye sweetheart, bye
Hey
Hey, how are you?
Has your period started yet?
No, not yet but it's no big deal...
You're freaking out, right?
Totally
But why don't you take the test?
If you're pregnant then you can tell Roberto and if not, everyone's happy
Yeah but I'm scared
Ok, well that's normal
Anyway, if you need anything, you know where I am
Thanks
Are you going down?
No, I'm just back from a night out. I'm hitting the sack
Lucky you!
It's true, she's 2 weeks late
She's definitely pregnant then
What I don't get is why she doesn't wanna tell Roberto about it
Because it's not his, that's why!
Why do you think her over here didn't tell Manolo?
What do they care about what I told Manolo?
No wonder couples don't stick together any time at all nowadays
Well, that guy's a bum. If he was my boyfriend, I'd cheat on him as well
Well I like him, he's got his attractions
Hey, don't say anything about this to anyone, ok? Because then everyone will know
Isabel, can I talk to you for a minute?
Shall I make you breakfast?
No thanks
Go on, I'll make you some juice
No, really, don't bother
Come on, sit yourself down here, handsome
You look better than a wad of twenty pound notes
Look Isabel, we're very glad to have you here but...
I'm glad to be here too. You know, I've only been here 2 days and it already feels like you're my kids
To tell you the truth, coming here gives my life a sense of meaning
Because you don't know the situation I've got to put up with at home
The other day my son crashed the car at a roundabout
And my youngest's depressed because her husband left her and she's got a 6-month-old baby as well
And then my husband's on the dole. At the moment he's doing a course in recycling but he still looks miserable me
But when I come here and see you the two of you so happy and healthy, starting out on a new life together
it makes me forget about all my troubles
What did you want to say to me?
Err, how much an hour are we paying you?
Oh, 8 euros. It's very good money
Well from today you're going to be paid 10
You see! You're like a blessing from God. Give me a kiss, come on, give me a kiss
I'm gonna make you some French toast
How lovely
I don't know anything about insurance, I sell books, and not many of them at that
Dad, this is an emergency. Get used to the idea that you're an insurance claims handler
And what the fuck does an insurance claims handler do?
Nothing. You say you've come from the insurance company, take a look at the neighbour
and you give him this envelope with the money for the medical costs, and that's it. You go on your way
Ok, great, and what's in it for me?
Doesn't the love of your son mean anything to you?
To be honest, no
Come on, don't get sidetracked. Afterwards we'll buy one of your books and job done
Ok but take the etymological dictionary please because I can't get rid of it
Oh, does the gentleman from the insurance sell books then?
Yes Vicenta dear, we'll explain it all to you in a minute
Take the money. Oh, does anyone want to make a last minute contribution?
Right then, we'll be waiting for you, and may the Lord's will be done
Yeah, sure
Ok Dad, best of luck
Come on, off you go
Emilio, I'm gonna end up in prison and there I sure as hell won't sell any books
No Dad, come on, I'll vouch for you, ok
Be an asshole, these guys are always assholes
I love you lots, Dad
And I don't love you
Let’s get inside!
For fuck's sake, the shit you've gotta do to sell a dictionary.
And on top of that, next year those bastards are bringing out a new edition
Good afternoon
I'm the claims handler from the insurance company
Nice to meet you. Come in please and take a seat
Thank you very much
Good afternoon. That's the victim, right?
No, I'm the mummy, you've caught me getting changed
Excellent, well I'll proceed with the examination but based on my experience I can already note that this is a clear case
of a fall down the stairs
Right, but hasn't a forensic expert come with you to assess the extent of the injuries?
Oh yeah, I'm a forensic expert. This is a family business and we all do a bit of everything. How do you feel?
Bad
I thought as much. That's consistent with my reports. I've got with me here the exact amount that according to our specifications
you're due for this type of accident. 187 euros. It's already been counted
But this won't cover the medical costs or the time off work or anything. Would you mind telling what kind of joke this is?
What's wrong? Do you think it's not enough?
No, I think it's ludicrous!
Hold on a second. I'll call our head office and see if there's been a mistake
Wait a minute please, excuse me
Head office?
No, you've got the wrong number
It's me, damn it
Oh yeah, what's happening?
Who is it?
My dad!
Yes, yes, the injured party has informed me that they are not satisfied with the stipulated amount assigned to them for this accident
Yes, yes, excellent, agreed. I'll tell them
Very well, you're in luck. I’ve just been told that the sum of money can be increased by 10 euros
Is that all?
Hold on a second, please. 10 euros and 35 cents
But do you take us for idiots or what?
Hold on a second, don't go on the offensive because that man fell down the stairs twice and that's very suspicious
What are you trying to say? That I throw myself down the stairs for fun?
All I'm saying is that according to our bonus-malus specification, you're very malus
Besides, you can't bring me the money like this! This should be paid by cheque or bank deposit
That's unnecessary hassle. The injured party's already injured enough without him having to get more injured
Anyway, that's tax free money, damn it. Take it
Right, that's enough. What insurance company do you represent?
Erm...Disasters Insurance and Reinsurance for Housing and Motor Vehicles. We don't insure bicycles
Come on, seriously now. Is this for one of those hidden camera things?
Hey, I'm just doing my job here, ok?
Leave him, at least he's giving me a bit entertainment
Oh, are you bored? I've got just the thing for you here. A collection of works by the great authors of the 20th century
bound in leather, and with a special launch offer. Take a look
What? Now he expects us to buy a book from him! I want your name, ID card number and company details right now
Come on, give me them please
Calm down please. We can work this out. Don't get in a state
I'm going to make a phone call, wait a second please. Excuse me
Head office?
You know what, leave it, give it to me, I'll talk to them
Hold it right there, this is a private line solely for the use of claims handlers
Give me the phone, damn it!
Hello?
Juan?
Yes, what happened? What did they say?
Señor Cuesta?
Shit!
What a mess!
What's going on?
Come on, let's get out of here, get the kids
I'm coming too
But what did they say? Did they buy it?
You! Did you even stop to think for a second about what a disgrace you are?
There's no insurance, right?
Well, you know insurance insurance...
Yes or no?
No
But what were you thinking? This is attempted fraud and you know what I'm going to do?
I'm gonna to take all of you to court. And you're gonna have to pay millions in compensation
And I'm gonna report each and every one of the deficiencies in this building!
And I'm gonna prove that Mauri's second fall was caused deliberately
And as for you. You're the one directly responsible for all this. And I'm personally gonna see to it that you end up in prison
So who's gonna buy my etymological dictionary?
Dad, come on, show a bit of respect, we're all very stressed
What's up with you? How come you're so quiet?
It's just I've never seen you get like that before, you're scary, you know that?
It's a bloody disgrace, Mauri. Nothing as bad as this had ever happened to me in all my life
But you can't get that poor man sent to jail, he's got 2 kids
No, I don't think I can do that, but I am gonna get every last euro out of him
Those 2 are gonna remember us for the rest of their lives and the same goes for the 2 across the hall
But I feel bad for them, they scraped the money together between everyone
Fuck Mauri, come on, they pushed you down the stairs!
Well maybe I slipped. Your trouble is you make a big deal out of everything
So to top it all off, now I'm the bad guy in all this!
No you're not the bad guy. But it's just I don't like seeing you like this
400 euros for a pram. Have we all gone crazy or what?
Emilio, we need to talk
Yeah because I can't take any more of this
Right, I know
I dreamt about you last night, Belen. And I bought you a little something
Well I don't know what to say
No, don't open it here. Open it at home and tell me later if it's yes or no
Oh, alright then, well we'll talk later then
Yeah
Ok
See you later
Mind how you go
Hey!
What?
Thanks
You're welcome
And may God have mercy on us
Hey
I've come to congratulate you
Oh, thanks. What for?
For the baby
What baby?
Come on dude, don't play dumb. Everyone knows your girlfriend's pregnant
Sorry?
Your cleaner's got a bit of a loose tongue. The only problem is this makes our thing a bit more difficult
But never mind, a young dad can still be sexy, right?
No, you must be mistaken. Lucia hasn't said anything to me about it, sorry
Right, don't think she trusts you much. Anyway, if you need a babysitter, you know where to find me
Good luck, dude
Already? That was quick, right? What happened?
Well, he told me he dreamt about me and he gave me this
Wow, he's really fallen for you, Belen
Open it
What could it be?
Hey, maybe it's a ring...or some earrings...or a bracelet
Or a necklace
Or a watch
What's this?
A pregnancy test
That moron's gone and given me a pregnancy test?
It's romantic, right?
Hello
Lucia, have you heard the latest big news story
No, what's happened?
Emilio's hooked up with Belen
No! No way!
He went upstairs to fix a socket for her and...
No, no way, who told you that?
Don't you listen to Radio Courtyard?
No
Well get with it, damn it. That's what we live in a shared building for!
Oh, congratulations by the way, we hadn't had a chance to tell you
Congratulations for what?
Don't dawdle, the cigarette shop's gonna shut soon
Hey, I was chatting with that girl
Leave other people alone, you're a right pain in the ass
At least he's given you something practical. You'll end up using it sooner or later
No, I'm thrilled, this is the nicest present I've been given since my first communion
when they gave me a microscope
Belen, say what you like but I can see you're serious about each other
Hey, don’t you think you've had enough fun out of it for one day?
I can't help it. "The caretaker and the girl from the third floor" It sounds like a porn film
Hello!
Well, well, well! Seriously, you're not gonna believe this. These people don't know what to make up anymore
Wait till you hear today's big news story
Belen's slept with Emilio!
Seriously, people must be so bored, right Belen?
You didn't sleep with Emilio, did you?
Who told you? How many people know about it?
Well...everyone. By the sounds of it, it's the main news story on Radio Courtyard
That guy's a moron! I'm gonna kill him, I swear I'm gonna kill him! Dumb-ass!
So it's true then? Belen and Emilio
She's had a thing for men in uniform ever since she watched An Officer and a Gentleman
I can't believe it
Me neither. Oh, take this. This way you save yourself a trip to the pharmacy
Emilio, Emilio, Emilio!
Have you done it? What's wrong?
You're a childish moron who can't keep his mouth shut, that's what wrong
Yeah but was it a yes or a no?
We're finished, ok? We need to have a very serious talk
Hey, what was it you needed to tell me?
What? Oh, nothing
You know you're the first girl to come in this flat. I mean to come in and stay
Haven't you ever had a girlfriend?
Yeah once, but she hurt me really badly
What happened? She left you, right?
No, she hit me because I pulled her best friend. But you know this is nice what's happening between us
What are you doing?
Giving you a cuddle, it's what girls like to do afterwards, right?
Yeah but I don't want you to cuddle me! I only stayed afterwards not to be rude
Well, you are rude! Why the hell do you think I'd want you to stay when we've finished?
What an insult! Look, you should be thanking me
No, you're the one who should be thanking me!
Get outta here!
Plus, I'm an employee in my place of work. This is harassment!
Yeah right I'm harassing you!
Sure, you laid a trap for me to get yourself pregnant
Do you really think I'd wanna have your child, you asshole!
Come on, admit it, it's your body clock, I can hear it ticking from over here
I'm getting out of here cos this is the lamest thing that's ever happened to me
But did you take the test or not?
I can't be pregnant, I’m on the pill
But what for?
Because my doctor prescribed it to me. I've got some hormonal imbalances
Oh, I thought all that did was make your tits bigger
No, that's just for some girls. For others it makes their butts bigger. It depends
But why the hell am I explaining myself to you?
I never asked you in the first place!
Look, I never wanna see you again!
Fine!
Great!
Well that's it then!
Hello!
What's wrong now?
No, we just wanted to apologise
from the heart
And also tell you that our conduct has been completely disgraceful
Really disgraceful
And we also want you to know that tomorrow we're going to take out the insurance and we've clubbed together
to raise this money for you, it's all we could get
I put in all the money I had saved in my piggybank for university
Thanks, son
I've made Mauri a cake to die for
And I've brought you some chicken soup
I haven't brought you anything but I'm really sorry about everything. I'll leave you this cigarette, though
Oh alright, but tomorrow take out that insurance without fail, ok?
Yes
And thanks very much
I already told them all that you're a saint
Ok, take the money then
Please Fernando
No, no, seriously
I'm begging you, take it
No, I said no.
Juan, he said no
And get well!
Thanks everyone
Bye
You're very kind
We won't bother you any longer
Rest, get lots of rest
Rest does you the world of good
Well, they're good people deep down
It looks like they swallowed all of that, right?
Fuck, what a narrow escape!
It's because gays are really gullible, I saw it on TV
My share from the envelope
Here you go
Hey, that's my university money!
Ok, quiet, come on, upstairs
But you're gonna buy me a load of video games right?
Yeah right, this is for school stuff!
And to pay for a good heartdoctor for me
See what a state your father's in?
So nothing for me then?
You've got everything! And not a word about this at school!
Hi
Wow, about time!
Hi honey, how are you?
How are you doing?
Good and you?
Great. Hey, what's that?
What’s what?
That thing you've got in your hand
Ah this?
Yeah
This is erm....Belen's. Emilio bought it for her because he slept with her and they were a bit worried
Wow, that's a good one
Funny, right?
Yeah, hilarious. Come on Lucia, give me a break. I had to find out from someone else that you're pregnant!
I'm what?
What rubbish! Who told you that?
What does it matter? The cleaner told everyone
But weren't you gonna fire her?
No, I gave her a pay rise, I felt so sorry for her, what was I supposed to do?
See? How can you expect to me to tell you I'm late when you’re incapable of handling problems?
Which one is it then? Are you late or pregnant?
Well, I'm late...but I might be pregnant
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
Shit Roberto, that's just the reaction I needed to make me feel better
It makes me feel so secure with my partner
Hey, hey, hey, cut out the sarcasm! What are you trying to say? That I'm immature?
Well yeah
Ok, maybe I am, but not for the important stuff. We're gonna be parents, fine!
We've got a kid on the way, fine! But it really hurts to know you don't trust me
Right now I'm feeling kind of anxious and having trouble breathing, but it's out of happiness
cos we're gonna have a family and I'm gonna be a dad! And I'm gonna sit down now
cos I'm getting kind of dizzy. But it's from joy, not worry
Because I'm right here with you!
Relax honey
I'm not ready to be a mum either
But I am! We need to be strong! We need to look our problems in the face, ok?
Ok
Right, well I'll go and take the test
Sure! Shall I give you a hand? What do you have to do?
No, no, there's no need
No, no, I want us to be together in this from the beginning, babe
Well do you know how this thing works?
Well take that and read the instructions then. I'll be right back
That's it. I made it clear to him that we're finished, that it was a silly mistake and it's best if we both forget all about it
And that's it
It was a farewell full of affection, right?
Have I got something on my face?
It's got liar written all over it
You had it off with him again!
Alicia, keep your voice down!
In the caretaker’s house?
I'm not telling you anything
Oh my God, in the caretaker's house, no way!
You should have told me. I'd have gone out and you'd have been more comfortable here
No! It's over
Have you broken up?
No, we haven't broken up because we weren't together
So you're still together
No! This has all been a terrible mistake. A few years down the line, we'll look back on it and have a good laugh, that's all.
I'd rather laugh about it now
Hey, what's he like in bed then?
What's your problem?
Wow, he's good in bed, is he?
I'm not telling you anything!
It's written all over your face. Tell me and get it off your chest
Well then
Roberto! Roberto!
She's coming, she's coming
So are we going to the cinema, then, or what are we gonna do?
I'd rather go for a beer
Good evening
Hello Paloma
Hi, how are you?
That girl always looks so nice
Bye
Has she really taken the test?
Yeah, I heard them
Here it is! Let's see
Let's see what colour it's turned
Blue!
Does that mean it's a boy?
It means she's not pregnant!
Good! That way we can sleep in peace
She's escaped by the skin of her teeth! Let's see what happens next month
Wow, someone's taken it badly, Paloma
Go and get shitfaced, you old pisshead!
Wow what a lovely story...Paco, I'll take this one
Legends of the Fall. You're in love, aren't you man?
Nah! My thing with Belen's just a fling, a mistake, a stumble
Playboys like me weren't made to be with one woman. I like to play the field
Well then, I'll see you around
Right, see you later
God, what's the matter with me? My immune system must be weak
Rewind it when you're done!
Marisa, would you mind telling me where we're going?
You just follow my lead
What are you doing?
We've got insurance now, damnit
Ow my neck! My neck! Don't move me, Vicenta
What happened?
Señor Cuesta, call an ambulance! I've had a fall
Well for someone who’s had a fall, you're not lying awkwardly at all
So what? I fall very gracefully
Marisa, get up, come on, you're making a fool of yourself
Hey, this joke's in really poor taste, you know that
What scum, Juan, seriously, what scum! Kick them out!
Why couldn't you keep your mouth shut? A bit longer and I'd have got a load of money
Marisa, you need to be respectable
I can't afford it on my pension. You need money to be respectable
It's lovely to live life with your head held up high
Señor Cuesta, call an ambulance. It's real this time
Oh Vicenta, sweetie, that's some blow you've taken from walking with your head held high
God, by the time they cure you, it'll hardly be worth it
Well now you've found me. How are you?
What are you doing?
Thinking about life. Don't you ever ask yourself those questions?
Where did we come from? Where are we headed?
You need to go up to the third floor and fix a socket for those 2 whores
but my contract doesn't say anything about fixing sockets
actually it doesn't say anything about anything because I haven't got a contract
Go on! I'll give you a little something for your troubles later
Great, that should pay for a trip to the Caribbean
Emilio, this staircase is a disgrace. It's so neglected
It's just old, Doña Paloma
When was the last time you waxed it?
Never
It shows. Well look now you've got a job for today then
Yes but to wax we need a machine
Yeah right you need a machine! All you need is a rag, a tin of wax, and a bit of elbow grease. Just like it's always been done
But I've got a bad back and a slipped disk in my spine
"Wax on, wax off"
Jose Miguel, come on!
Mind how you go! Wouldn't want you to fall over and knock your teeth out on a bench
Just an idea
Every day's like this
and I couldn't imagine it when I moved here
All I was looking for was a bit of peace and quiet
And I wake up every day in the middle of a hurricane
This is no kind of life for anyone, anyone
The house is falling down about my feet
The caretaker's nowhere to be found
The neighbours' watch everything I do
I can't take this place
Put together a cocktail shaker
thunder and lightning, an earthquake, and a volcano
and you'll get this staircase
This is no kind of life for anyone, anyone
Mauri, it's up to you but I don't think you’re ready to go out running with me
That doesn't matter. If I get tired, I'll get a taxi back
Anyway, those shoes weren't designed for running
No, they were designed for ballet. Give me a break, would you!
I need to do some exercise, I spend all day sitting down
Ok, but don't slow me down, I go at my own pace
Ok
Hey, watch out, I've just...
Mauri!
waxed
Fuck, what a fall he's taken
What's up man?
Who are you meant to be? The maid?
No, Lucia's been going on about me not cleaning. When she comes back, she'll be suprised
Look, I even put a wash on
What program did you use?
No, nothing. Well done
And I spent 2 hours ironing, what do you reckon?
Fuck, and you've still got all that left to do
No, no, that's the stuff I’ve already ironed
Oh well, never mind. People wear them like that nowadays
And now I need to mop the floor
They drive you nuts, man
Hey, do you know what the deal is with the soap?
Sure, since I drunk some when I was little, I've got them down like you wouldn't believe
Look, this one's for wood
this one's for the bathroom
this one's for glass
and this one's for polishing
Each one's got a different use
Right, I'll chuck a bit of everything in and it should do me for the whole house
Congrats man, you've invented Rob's multipurpose cleaner
A little bit of this
Emilio, can't you come back another time? I've gotta go out
Well go! Doña Concha told me I've gotta fix this and that's what I'm doing!
I'm not leaving you alone in my house
What's wrong, sweetheart? Got a date, have you?
None of your business! Get a move on, would you!
What do you think I'm doing? Think I've got nothing better to do than make conversation with you out of pity?
Look Emilio, if you were the last man left on the face of the earth, I swear I'd become a lesbian
Well, you do look a bit like a lesbo actually
What's your problem? Do I tell you what you look like?
What do I look like?
I don't know, there's nothing to look at
Look, leave me alone, I'm trying to work here, ok?
Leave that alone, you moron
Taking you bloody 7 hours to fix one shitty little wire
So what are you gonna call him?
Nothing! I'm only 2 weeks late
Anyway, I bet it's just stress
But have you told Roberto yet?
No, what for?
Maybe he'd like to know he's gonna be a dad
But he's not gonna be a dad!
No way! It's not his!
No! I don't want to worry him. We've got enough on our plate with moving in together
Besides, would you leave Roberto on his own with a baby?
No. I'd hire a babysitter to take care of them both
Why don't you take the test?
No, I'm sure it's a false alarm
Wow, this is so exciting!
I don't know
Right
Hey don't breathe a word of this to anyone, alright?
Come on, we're friends!
Belen, wait till you hear this. You're gonna flip
Where are you?
Belen?
Oh sorry, sorry
Leave, leave!
But what for? She's seen me now
No Emilio, go back to your house
Alicia!
Sorry, I couldn't believe my eyes
Go, go!
But I can’t go now!
No, go back to your house! Leave now!
Well, I'll come back another time, ok?
Whenever you want
I don't wanna hear a word about it
No, no, my lips are sealed
No way! You slept with Emilio! How did it happen?
I don't know
But what was it? Love at first sight? Ginseng? Red tea infusions?
Look Alicia, stop hassling me!
It’s just that it’s an X file
Yeah well...we all make mistakes in life sooner or later
With Emilio! You can't fall any lower than this
I bet you he's gonna start bragging to everyone about it
Come on, it's not that big a deal
You felt a sudden attraction to someone else. You hadn't had sex forever, Belen
That's not good for you. It makes you tense and...
No shit! With Emilio!
Screw you!
Come on girl, don't get angry
Emilio's a great catch. He'll take out the trash, water the plants, bring the mail to the house
I never wanna set eyes on him again!
Well that's gonna be a bit tricky
he's the caretaker
Well, what do you think? I've been hard at it, right?
Well yeah, good...you set the washing machine, did a bit of ironing
But I thought you were gonna clean!
Fuck, that's what I’ve done and with a shit load of elbow grease
Well the bathroom's worse than it was this morning
Did you sweep up before you mopped the floor?
Did you use disinfectant?
What?
Roberto, you have to use disinfectant for bacteria
There might not be bacteria. Have you seen it?
Maybe someone just invented bacteria to sell more detergent
You're so naive
Also, what have you done to the floor? You've taken off all the shine
No shit, I'm still getting an earful
Hey, please, put things back where they're supposed to go
I know you, you're doing it badly on purpose so you can get out of it
But sorry honey, that's a very old trick...just look at the state of this glass!
Hey, look, I'm doing my best! But mopping, sweeping and ironing's a pain in the arse
What you think I enjoy it? Of course not, but someone has to do it
Anyway, this house is too big. It's too much for one person to do on their own
We need to hire a couple from the Philippines or something
Couple from the Philippines!
Actually, I know, I'll ask my mum to come round a couple times a week
You can't ask your mum to come round and clean!
That way she'll get to see me. She says she really misses me
Right, look Roberto, seriously, I work a ton of hours
so I need someone to help me clean the flat
There's a name for that...a cleaning lady
Fine then, let's hire a cleaning lady
Ok. But you'll sort it out, right?
How are you doing? Are the crutches alright?
Yeah, super comfortable. Wait till you see how stiff my arms are tomorrow
Oh well, you said you wanted to do some exercise
Wow, what happened to you?
Nothing, I felt bored this morning, so I said to myself why not throw myself down the stairs?
It was Emilio's fault. He's been waxing the steps. As if they weren't already dangerous enough
The ideas Emilio gets in his head!
Look, here's the medical report so you can use it claim the insurance
What insurance?
Civil liability, the one the community's got that covers us for these kinds of accidents
Oh, that insurance! You know, we've got so many
Don’t worry, I'll manage all this for you, it'll be fine
Right well just so you know, they need to pay for time off work, medical expenses and all that
The standard things for these cases
Ok, See you later
Don't go too fast, Mauri!
You're enjoying this, aren't you?
Listen, I'm gonna make croquettes and a little salad
Juan, what's wrong?
You look like someone's just died
We haven't got that insurance, Paloma
We haven't renewed the policy for the last 3 years
Don't scare me!
Well it was because nothing bad ever happens
Until it does happen, Juan, until it does happen!
What a mess! I'm the one who’s responsible. I could go to jail for this
Calm down! You won't have to take all the heat for this on your own.
Come on. Listen, I won't make any dinner or anything now
What we're gonna do is make a plan
Paco, come here
What's up?
I got my leg over with Belen
Fuck! Belen?
Yeah
Who's Belen?
The one from the third floor
Oh the...
What the fuck man? I didn't know she was...
No me neither. It happened out of the blue. I went up there to fix a socket
We started arguing and you know
Emilio, you stud! I heard you made it big!
Hey, you two haven't heard anything about this, alright?
No, no, no, relax
Hey, you took precautions, right man?
Come off it. The only thing I had with me was a screwdriver
The only rubber up there was there was in the kitchen gloves
Shit man, she was out to trap you
What are you talking about?
Yeah, when women turn 30 and don't have a boyfriend, they start getting obsessed about becoming mothers
so they get in a rush to have kids and hunt down any bloke they can. It's their body clock
But I can't see any clock
Emilio, you've fucked up, man
I reckon you're gonna get stuck with a little Belen
Sure and she'll end up hooking up with another caretaker. It's fate, man
Hey, don't you two say anything about this to anyone! Come on, out!
Yeah right! We can't let an opportunity like this slide
Sure, it all makes sense. I'm young, handsome, responsible, hardworking, smart
What more could any girl want?
She wants to trap me, What am I gonna do Paquito?
I dunno. Why don't you rent 3 Men and a Baby?
Ok, alright
I'll go get it
Roberto, Roberto, honey!
What?
Wake up, Isabel's here
Hello
No, the cleaner Isabel
Come on, get up so I can introduce you cos I've gotta go to work
What time is it though?
8:27
Hey, but she's not gonna come at this time every day, is she?
It's because she’s got other houses to do. Come on
Fuck! Why doesn't she start with those ones then?
I don't know! Ask her that
Good morning
Look Isabel, this is Roberto
Sorry handsome. Did I wake you up?
No, no, I was doing some stuff
That's alright then. Well, where shall I start?
Wherever you like
Ok, I'll do the bedroom so you can take a shower and then I'll get to the bathroom
Let's see who finishes first
See you later, hope it goes alright
Hey
What?
I wanted to go back to bed
Well quick, go and tell her then. See you later honey
Fine, I'll get up now then
Well, the fact is we don't have insurance and he needs to be paid for time off work
his medical expenses, and maybe compensation. And Fernando's a lawyer remember
If he reports us, we could get in a lot of trouble
You mean you could get in a lot of trouble. You're President
No, no, no, because we all agreed not to renew the insurance policy
It was 60 thousand pesetas that came in handy to install the new intercom
I don't remember that
Well it's in the minutes of the meeting, so if I'm going down, I'm taking you all with me
I think if we talked to them and offered them some money...
No, no, no, if that guy wants to throw himself down the stairs, let him
But we're not paying for it
Right, he should have been more careful and not fallen
Well, what are we gonna do then because my husband and I aren't paying for it all
Don't you think he might have slipped on all that oil he oozes?
Hello
Make a space for us please
Yes, sure
Mauri, how's that leg?
Well, I'm in more pain than before. Let's see what the doctor says
Oh so you're going back to the doctor’s?
Come on, that's nothing! You're very young
You know, if it were me, I'd take off the plaster and walk normally
The doctor said I need to keep it on for a month
Yeah right, if I had a penny for everything the doctor tells me to do
Well, anyway, thanks a lot for your concern
Thanks
You're welcome, we're here to help if you ever you need anything
By the way Fernando, do you know how much the insurance company have to pay?
No, I don't. They need to calculate that
Right, ok, but how do they do that? I mean...
You know, I'm not buying any of it. I reckon he's faking
Why would he do that?
For money! Are you stupid or what?
If we give him a little push, he'll support himself on his bad leg
Well, it's worth a try, right?
Yeah, it's not a bad idea
Afternoon
Morning
Right that
Look out!
Emilio!
What?
Can you come upstairs and fix a socket for me?
Señora, what have they been telling you?
Nothing, but let me know when you’ve got your wedding list so I can buy you the cheapest present
You're so funny! You're killing me here
Right Isabel, see you later
Oh no, wait, look at the state of that shirt
Give it here and I'll iron it in a jiffy
No, this is one of those ones you wear creased
What? You can’t wear it creased! Come on, take it off
No, really thanks but I'm gonna be late
No, no! You're not going out on the street with your shirt like that. Come on!
Ok, Isabel, but I'll take it off myself
Here you go
Wow, you're all flesh and bones! Who knows what you eat? I bet it's pure frozen food and ready made meals
and that's if you eat at all
Listen, I'll get some shopping in and from now on, you're gonna eat properly
What kind of food do you like?
I eat anything
How refreshing! Because my kids won't eat anything. I've got 3
But the youngest just wants pizza, hamburgers, you can't make him eat anything else
my older sister's kids, though, now that's another story...
because I've got 2 sisters, yeah 3 girls
My sister used to put spinach out on the table and say "you're not going anywhere until you've eaten it all up"
but you know what, they can't have eaten it all cos now they’re 30 and still live at home
How's that shirt coming along?
I'll be done in a second. Well my niece, you know she works in a clinic, she tells us these stories that upset my husband
and now he's on the dole, and I can't see him finding work
because we're not spring chickens anymore, you know
Sure, right. Hey, look, I'll put on another shirt and you can give me that one back later, ok?
No, no, I'll give you this one back right now. It looks great on you. Have you got brothers and sisters?
Yeah...I mean, no, I'm an only child
Ah, it shows.
Right, well listen...
Señor Juan Cuesta, Lucia Alvarez, Regina Acuña. Who's that?
Emilio, contratulations man, I heard about you and Belen
Come on, show a bit of respect, that’s personal
Well everyone knows about it, man
Señor Cuesta too?
Emilio, I need to have a word with you
Yeah, him too
What do you expect if you talk about it in front of kids?
Come on
In you come
Emilio, it's come to my attention that you're engaging in intimate relations with a tenant in this building
Yes but don't worry, it's not your wife
Right, I figured as much. You mustn't forget that you're an employee here and this is your workplace
And I consider it completely inappropriate to mix work with this kind of thing
Señor Cuesta, I don't know what came over me. I lost control of myself...
Do you think I don't have to resist temptation in my job at the school?
That there aren't young and pretty female teachers in skirts and with cleavage
who'd like nothing better than to learn from a mature man like myself?
Well, there are, Emilio. There are
Yeah
And the mums...you should see how the mums come to get their kids
But I stand strong because I've got a duty
There's this redhead. I know she wants me, I can tell
and you should see her. She's....well...you know
This won't happen again, Señor Juan, seriously
And the one from the canteen. You see her and say to yourself "God, I'd like a piece of that."
Well, anyway, I'm off to have my lunch. Let's see what my wife's made for me
Fuck, what a mess
This is infuriating
Fernando!
What?
I'm bored, go get me a film from the video store
I'll go in a minute, hang on a sec
Oh that's nice, so I'm crippled here and you can't even go downstairs for a film
Mauri, I'm in the middle of some paperwork
Fine! I'll go down myself
You're exasperating, you know that
No, I'm bored and crippled, and my leg itches, and these crutches are super uncomfortable
Come on, sit down, I'll go
Oh so you think I'm useless?
You just asked me to go down for you!
No, I don't trust you to get me a decent film
Well, look, I was thinking about getting Airplane or Hero or The Harder they Fall
Haha aren't you funny?
I'm dying of laughter here
He's gone out. Come on, let's go
I can't believe it. He seems like a nice boy to me
No, damn it, he's faking
Hi Mauri, how are you?
Fine, just on my way down to the video store
Right, we'll give you a hand, shall we?
no, there's no need
Come on now, we wouldn't you to have another fall
Señora, hey!
Well it's true, he wasn't faking it, after all
What happened?
She goes to work really early. I reckon he doesn't do anything
Of course, it's obvious he lives off her
Yeah, right, she must be making good money because this kitchen is really expensive
Not everyone can afford a kitchen like this. I think I've seen it in a magazine
No! Her dad's the one with the money. He's the one who bought them the flat
Hey, what's the bedroom like?
Too modern for my taste but she's got tons of clothes
Really? Is it designer clothing?
Yeah, all of it! Listen, you wouldn't believe the shoes she's got or the bags
Sure, if I didn't have kids, I'd be the same!
Hello!
Oh hello Roberto!
Look, I've gotta go, ok? It was nice meeting you
And remember, come up for a coffee whenever you want, ok, bye!
What are you doing? Who were you talking to?
The neighbours! They're so friendly!
Hey, what's that you’ve got there?
What? Oh this! It's an old t-shirt you had in your wardrobe. It's just that I needed some rags
But why didn't you ask me first? My first girlfriend gave me that for my birthday!
I was really fond of it
Oh well, now you're with another girl so what do you want it for?
Right, I'll just finish the bathroom and then I'll make you lunch, ok?
No, don't worry about it, thanks anyway. I've got a meeting. I'll get something while I’m out
Hang on a second. First you're gonna eat, and then you can go wherever you want
Come on, sit down and wait for me there. I'll be right back
For fuck's sake!
Hey, be careful!
Out of the way!
Ok, ok!
Be careful please! Fuck! Be careful!
No, no, no, leave me here!
Right, that's it
He's very fragile, isn't he?
Of course I'm fragile, I've broken everything
Hey, why are you lying me down now?
Cos we're gonna need to lift you up
Goodness me, what's happened to you?
He fell down the stairs again
I didn't fall! I was pushed!
Here we go again. He's stubborn. He doesn't realise that it takes time to get used to using crutches
He wouldn't let us help him!
Fernando, don't let those 2 near me!
But it's not serious, is it?
No, they just gave me this plaster to go with my other one
Right, come on, we'll lift you
No, not up the stairs!
Ok, let's carry him by hand!
You can say that again
Hang on, let me take this off
You're not gonna be able to carry me
1, 2, 3!
One step at a time, ok?
Ow! Ow!
We're almost there, relax, relax
Up we go!
If they ask us for more money now, you two are gonna have to pay it
That's rich coming from you! It was your idea!
I'm gonna go see if they need anything
Right, well, thanks very much for everything
Cheer up! Don’t worry, it's nothing, that thing's more for show than anything else
You'll be up on your feet again in no time
What a state you've left my kidneys in
I'll send my boy in to draw on your plaster later on. He's great at drawing
Ok, bye, see you later. I love how you've decorated the place, I hadn't seen it before
Juan, look at the colour of the sofa
Bye and thanks again
Fernando, we need to get out of this place
Why don't we go live in the countryside?
And we can make goat's cheese and grow tomatoes
Sure, you'll be in your element with all those creepy crawlies
Haven't you realised we're surrounded by a gang of homophobes?
Look Mauri, is there no way you might have tripped over your crutches?
Anyway, you're laying accusations against the neighbours without any hard evidence
Here we go again! The right honorable barrister driving me round the bend!
Anyway, how can they be homophobes if they don’t know we’re gay?
Fernando, the only one round here who hasn't realised you’re gay is you
Right, welcome to this informal emergency meeting
Today we'll start with the questions and answers
Oh and I kindly ask you not to make a point of verifying for yourselves the veracity of the injuries of the tenant in 1B
because every time you do it, it's going to cost us more money. I won't ask who did it
Her
Grass!
Right, now that we've straightened that out, let's move on to the next point: what are we going to do?
Well, they say third time lucky. Another little push and problem solved
Marisa, please
It was Emilio's fault for waxing the stairs. Let him pay for it, we can take it off his salary
Hey, Doña Paloma told me to wax!
Emilio, don't tell lies, please! I don't do anything without first running it by my husband
Right, sure you don't
I'll talk to you later!
Hello, look, I've brought the new medical report for you to send to the insurance company
because naturally now the expenses are going to increase
Oh really?
Of course, now the injuries are more serious, but that's what the insurance is for, right?
Sure, let them pay for it
Oh is there a neighbours' meeting?
No, no
Hi!
It's a friendly get-together, we're having a little drink
Oh, right. And has the insurance claims handler confirmed what day he's coming?
Yes, but there's going to be a delay because they're a bit busy, you know
because there was a stampede in the crowd at an El Fary concert, you know what music fans are like
Oh, well you know what, give me their phone number and I'll call them
No, but I got serious with them. I said if a claims handler's not here by tomorrow
we'll be taking this to court. Because there's a neighbour here who's going through a really rough time
Great, so someone's coming tomorrow then?
Right, tomorrow
Right, brilliant
Well enjoy yourselves!
See you later. Say hi to Mauri for me
What a mess!
What did you tell him that for?
What was I supposed to do? Tell him we've got no insurance and let them report us all
So what are we gonna do now?
Well, it's obvious Juan. Tomorrow a claims handler needs to show up here!
Well I don't know where we’re gonna get him from
Alright
Wow! The place looks immaculate and it smells great, right?
Bollocks! I can't find a thing in here
What's wrong?
That woman's been touching my stuff and now I can't find my black marker or my blue one or my red one
and I've got to draw Superman
Have a little kiss. Everything looks really tidy
Sure, that's why I can’t find anything
On top of that, she made me lunch and I had to have 3 helpings
Why?
I was eating it fast cos I was in a hurry and she thought I really liked it so she kept giving me more helpings
But why didn't you say anything to her?
When? She never shuts up!
I already know where her kids work, her aunt's latest medical ops.
If I wasn't a cartoonist, I could write her biography
Poor dear! She must be so lonely
What do you mean lonely? She already knows half the people in the building
She's told them all about our life
Lucia, this has got to stop
Look, remmember it was your idea to hire a cleaning lady
Yeah but she's not a cleaning lady, she's like my mum
Worse actually because on top of that we have to pay her
Come on, you're going over the top
Over the top! Look, look what she did to my t-shirt
Yeah but that was ancient!
Right, well listen Lucia, I'm really sorry but I can't get on with that woman
Alright, fine. Talk to her and tell her not to come back anymore
Why can't you tell her?
No, no, this is your business
What's wrong? Haven't you got the balls?
What? You wait and see! Tomorrow I'll kick her the fuck out of here!
Alicia! The neighbours are giving me strange looks, I'm sure they know everything
Yeah, I've seen some paparachis at the door, be careful!
Emilio's let the cat out of the bag, he must have
But have you talked to him?
What? Why would I wanna talk to that idiot?
Poor guy, he looks devastated to me
Put yourself in his shoes. First you drag him into your bed and then you ignore him!
That's what you do with all your guys
We're not talking about me. Also, Emilio’s more sensitive. I reckon he's fallen for you
No, no! Shit! Shit!
But where's the problem if you like each other?
But I don't like him!
What did you sleep with him for then?
I don't know. It was a...I don't know what it was
Belen, you need to talk to Emilio. You can't go around hurting people, it's really bad for your karma
Like you know anything about karma!
And now I'm gonna have to go talk to him
Don't mind me!
Don't leave your toys lying around! And what are you doing sleeping on the sofa?
Look what a state you've left the sofa in! Look! For fuck's sake!
Emilio! I told you to lay the table 20 minutes ago!
Where am I supposed to lay it? There's no space anywhere!
Listen, get the kids and take them to the park
To the park? To the zoo more like it so I can lock them up in a cage
Dad, show a bit of respect!
Give me a break boy. What was his name? I can't take this anymore, I can't take this anymore! What's happening to me?
Emilio, I've been to the doctor's. I'm expecting twins
Go with your father, go on, both of you
Get off me, you animals! animals!
Amimals! animals!
Fuck, I can't live like this
Right Isabel, I'm off, see you later
Wow, how pretty you look in your work clothes. It's a treat just looking at you
Keep your voice down! Roberto's sleeping
Don't worry. I'll be as quiet as a mouse
Right, bye
Bye sweetheart, bye
Hey
Hey, how are you?
Has your period started yet?
No, not yet but it's no big deal...
You're freaking out, right?
Totally
But why don't you take the test?
If you're pregnant then you can tell Roberto and if not, everyone's happy
Yeah but I'm scared
Ok, well that's normal
Anyway, if you need anything, you know where I am
Thanks
Are you going down?
No, I'm just back from a night out. I'm hitting the sack
Lucky you!
It's true, she's 2 weeks late
She's definitely pregnant then
What I don't get is why she doesn't wanna tell Roberto about it
Because it's not his, that's why!
Why do you think her over here didn't tell Manolo?
What do they care about what I told Manolo?
No wonder couples don't stick together any time at all nowadays
Well, that guy's a bum. If he was my boyfriend, I'd cheat on him as well
Well I like him, he's got his attractions
Hey, don't say anything about this to anyone, ok? Because then everyone will know
Isabel, can I talk to you for a minute?
Shall I make you breakfast?
No thanks
Go on, I'll make you some juice
No, really, don't bother
Come on, sit yourself down here, handsome
You look better than a wad of twenty pound notes
Look Isabel, we're very glad to have you here but...
I'm glad to be here too. You know, I've only been here 2 days and it already feels like you're my kids
To tell you the truth, coming here gives my life a sense of meaning
Because you don't know the situation I've got to put up with at home
The other day my son crashed the car at a roundabout
And my youngest's depressed because her husband left her and she's got a 6-month-old baby as well
And then my husband's on the dole. At the moment he's doing a course in recycling but he still looks miserable me
But when I come here and see you the two of you so happy and healthy, starting out on a new life together
it makes me forget about all my troubles
What did you want to say to me?
Err, how much an hour are we paying you?
Oh, 8 euros. It's very good money
Well from today you're going to be paid 10
You see! You're like a blessing from God. Give me a kiss, come on, give me a kiss
I'm gonna make you some French toast
How lovely
I don't know anything about insurance, I sell books, and not many of them at that
Dad, this is an emergency. Get used to the idea that you're an insurance claims handler
And what the fuck does an insurance claims handler do?
Nothing. You say you've come from the insurance company, take a look at the neighbour
and you give him this envelope with the money for the medical costs, and that's it. You go on your way
Ok, great, and what's in it for me?
Doesn't the love of your son mean anything to you?
To be honest, no
Come on, don't get sidetracked. Afterwards we'll buy one of your books and job done
Ok but take the etymological dictionary please because I can't get rid of it
Oh, does the gentleman from the insurance sell books then?
Yes Vicenta dear, we'll explain it all to you in a minute
Take the money. Oh, does anyone want to make a last minute contribution?
Right then, we'll be waiting for you, and may the Lord's will be done
Yeah, sure
Ok Dad, best of luck
Come on, off you go
Emilio, I'm gonna end up in prison and there I sure as hell won't sell any books
No Dad, come on, I'll vouch for you, ok
Be an asshole, these guys are always assholes
I love you lots, Dad
And I don't love you
Let’s get inside!
For fuck's sake, the shit you've gotta do to sell a dictionary.
And on top of that, next year those bastards are bringing out a new edition
Good afternoon
I'm the claims handler from the insurance company
Nice to meet you. Come in please and take a seat
Thank you very much
Good afternoon. That's the victim, right?
No, I'm the mummy, you've caught me getting changed
Excellent, well I'll proceed with the examination but based on my experience I can already note that this is a clear case
of a fall down the stairs
Right, but hasn't a forensic expert come with you to assess the extent of the injuries?
Oh yeah, I'm a forensic expert. This is a family business and we all do a bit of everything. How do you feel?
Bad
I thought as much. That's consistent with my reports. I've got with me here the exact amount that according to our specifications
you're due for this type of accident. 187 euros. It's already been counted
But this won't cover the medical costs or the time off work or anything. Would you mind telling what kind of joke this is?
What's wrong? Do you think it's not enough?
No, I think it's ludicrous!
Hold on a second. I'll call our head office and see if there's been a mistake
Wait a minute please, excuse me
Head office?
No, you've got the wrong number
It's me, damn it
Oh yeah, what's happening?
Who is it?
My dad!
Yes, yes, the injured party has informed me that they are not satisfied with the stipulated amount assigned to them for this accident
Yes, yes, excellent, agreed. I'll tell them
Very well, you're in luck. I’ve just been told that the sum of money can be increased by 10 euros
Is that all?
Hold on a second, please. 10 euros and 35 cents
But do you take us for idiots or what?
Hold on a second, don't go on the offensive because that man fell down the stairs twice and that's very suspicious
What are you trying to say? That I throw myself down the stairs for fun?
All I'm saying is that according to our bonus-malus specification, you're very malus
Besides, you can't bring me the money like this! This should be paid by cheque or bank deposit
That's unnecessary hassle. The injured party's already injured enough without him having to get more injured
Anyway, that's tax free money, damn it. Take it
Right, that's enough. What insurance company do you represent?
Erm...Disasters Insurance and Reinsurance for Housing and Motor Vehicles. We don't insure bicycles
Come on, seriously now. Is this for one of those hidden camera things?
Hey, I'm just doing my job here, ok?
Leave him, at least he's giving me a bit entertainment
Oh, are you bored? I've got just the thing for you here. A collection of works by the great authors of the 20th century
bound in leather, and with a special launch offer. Take a look
What? Now he expects us to buy a book from him! I want your name, ID card number and company details right now
Come on, give me them please
Calm down please. We can work this out. Don't get in a state
I'm going to make a phone call, wait a second please. Excuse me
Head office?
You know what, leave it, give it to me, I'll talk to them
Hold it right there, this is a private line solely for the use of claims handlers
Give me the phone, damn it!
Hello?
Juan?
Yes, what happened? What did they say?
Señor Cuesta?
Shit!
What a mess!
What's going on?
Come on, let's get out of here, get the kids
I'm coming too
But what did they say? Did they buy it?
You! Did you even stop to think for a second about what a disgrace you are?
There's no insurance, right?
Well, you know insurance insurance...
Yes or no?
No
But what were you thinking? This is attempted fraud and you know what I'm going to do?
I'm gonna to take all of you to court. And you're gonna have to pay millions in compensation
And I'm gonna report each and every one of the deficiencies in this building!
And I'm gonna prove that Mauri's second fall was caused deliberately
And as for you. You're the one directly responsible for all this. And I'm personally gonna see to it that you end up in prison
So who's gonna buy my etymological dictionary?
Dad, come on, show a bit of respect, we're all very stressed
What's up with you? How come you're so quiet?
It's just I've never seen you get like that before, you're scary, you know that?
It's a bloody disgrace, Mauri. Nothing as bad as this had ever happened to me in all my life
But you can't get that poor man sent to jail, he's got 2 kids
No, I don't think I can do that, but I am gonna get every last euro out of him
Those 2 are gonna remember us for the rest of their lives and the same goes for the 2 across the hall
But I feel bad for them, they scraped the money together between everyone
Fuck Mauri, come on, they pushed you down the stairs!
Well maybe I slipped. Your trouble is you make a big deal out of everything
So to top it all off, now I'm the bad guy in all this!
No you're not the bad guy. But it's just I don't like seeing you like this
400 euros for a pram. Have we all gone crazy or what?
Emilio, we need to talk
Yeah because I can't take any more of this
Right, I know
I dreamt about you last night, Belen. And I bought you a little something
Well I don't know what to say
No, don't open it here. Open it at home and tell me later if it's yes or no
Oh, alright then, well we'll talk later then
Yeah
Ok
See you later
Mind how you go
Hey!
What?
Thanks
You're welcome
And may God have mercy on us
Hey
I've come to congratulate you
Oh, thanks. What for?
For the baby
What baby?
Come on dude, don't play dumb. Everyone knows your girlfriend's pregnant
Sorry?
Your cleaner's got a bit of a loose tongue. The only problem is this makes our thing a bit more difficult
But never mind, a young dad can still be sexy, right?
No, you must be mistaken. Lucia hasn't said anything to me about it, sorry
Right, don't think she trusts you much. Anyway, if you need a babysitter, you know where to find me
Good luck, dude
Already? That was quick, right? What happened?
Well, he told me he dreamt about me and he gave me this
Wow, he's really fallen for you, Belen
Open it
What could it be?
Hey, maybe it's a ring...or some earrings...or a bracelet
Or a necklace
Or a watch
What's this?
A pregnancy test
That moron's gone and given me a pregnancy test?
It's romantic, right?
Hello
Lucia, have you heard the latest big news story
No, what's happened?
Emilio's hooked up with Belen
No! No way!
He went upstairs to fix a socket for her and...
No, no way, who told you that?
Don't you listen to Radio Courtyard?
No
Well get with it, damn it. That's what we live in a shared building for!
Oh, congratulations by the way, we hadn't had a chance to tell you
Congratulations for what?
Don't dawdle, the cigarette shop's gonna shut soon
Hey, I was chatting with that girl
Leave other people alone, you're a right pain in the ass
At least he's given you something practical. You'll end up using it sooner or later
No, I'm thrilled, this is the nicest present I've been given since my first communion
when they gave me a microscope
Belen, say what you like but I can see you're serious about each other
Hey, don’t you think you've had enough fun out of it for one day?
I can't help it. "The caretaker and the girl from the third floor" It sounds like a porn film
Hello!
Well, well, well! Seriously, you're not gonna believe this. These people don't know what to make up anymore
Wait till you hear today's big news story
Belen's slept with Emilio!
Seriously, people must be so bored, right Belen?
You didn't sleep with Emilio, did you?
Who told you? How many people know about it?
Well...everyone. By the sounds of it, it's the main news story on Radio Courtyard
That guy's a moron! I'm gonna kill him, I swear I'm gonna kill him! Dumb-ass!
So it's true then? Belen and Emilio
She's had a thing for men in uniform ever since she watched An Officer and a Gentleman
I can't believe it
Me neither. Oh, take this. This way you save yourself a trip to the pharmacy
Emilio, Emilio, Emilio!
Have you done it? What's wrong?
You're a childish moron who can't keep his mouth shut, that's what wrong
Yeah but was it a yes or a no?
We're finished, ok? We need to have a very serious talk
Hey, what was it you needed to tell me?
What? Oh, nothing
You know you're the first girl to come in this flat. I mean to come in and stay
Haven't you ever had a girlfriend?
Yeah once, but she hurt me really badly
What happened? She left you, right?
No, she hit me because I pulled her best friend. But you know this is nice what's happening between us
What are you doing?
Giving you a cuddle, it's what girls like to do afterwards, right?
Yeah but I don't want you to cuddle me! I only stayed afterwards not to be rude
Well, you are rude! Why the hell do you think I'd want you to stay when we've finished?
What an insult! Look, you should be thanking me
No, you're the one who should be thanking me!
Get outta here!
Plus, I'm an employee in my place of work. This is harassment!
Yeah right I'm harassing you!
Sure, you laid a trap for me to get yourself pregnant
Do you really think I'd wanna have your child, you asshole!
Come on, admit it, it's your body clock, I can hear it ticking from over here
I'm getting out of here cos this is the lamest thing that's ever happened to me
But did you take the test or not?
I can't be pregnant, I’m on the pill
But what for?
Because my doctor prescribed it to me. I've got some hormonal imbalances
Oh, I thought all that did was make your tits bigger
No, that's just for some girls. For others it makes their butts bigger. It depends
But why the hell am I explaining myself to you?
I never asked you in the first place!
Look, I never wanna see you again!
Fine!
Great!
Well that's it then!
Hello!
What's wrong now?
No, we just wanted to apologise
from the heart
And also tell you that our conduct has been completely disgraceful
Really disgraceful
And we also want you to know that tomorrow we're going to take out the insurance and we've clubbed together
to raise this money for you, it's all we could get
I put in all the money I had saved in my piggybank for university
Thanks, son
I've made Mauri a cake to die for
And I've brought you some chicken soup
I haven't brought you anything but I'm really sorry about everything. I'll leave you this cigarette, though
Oh alright, but tomorrow take out that insurance without fail, ok?
Yes
And thanks very much
I already told them all that you're a saint
Ok, take the money then
Please Fernando
No, no, seriously
I'm begging you, take it
No, I said no.
Juan, he said no
And get well!
Thanks everyone
Bye
You're very kind
We won't bother you any longer
Rest, get lots of rest
Rest does you the world of good
Well, they're good people deep down
It looks like they swallowed all of that, right?
Fuck, what a narrow escape!
It's because gays are really gullible, I saw it on TV
My share from the envelope
Here you go
Hey, that's my university money!
Ok, quiet, come on, upstairs
But you're gonna buy me a load of video games right?
Yeah right, this is for school stuff!
And to pay for a good heartdoctor for me
See what a state your father's in?
So nothing for me then?
You've got everything! And not a word about this at school!
Hi
Wow, about time!
Hi honey, how are you?
How are you doing?
Good and you?
Great. Hey, what's that?
What’s what?
That thing you've got in your hand
Ah this?
Yeah
This is erm....Belen's. Emilio bought it for her because he slept with her and they were a bit worried
Wow, that's a good one
Funny, right?
Yeah, hilarious. Come on Lucia, give me a break. I had to find out from someone else that you're pregnant!
I'm what?
What rubbish! Who told you that?
What does it matter? The cleaner told everyone
But weren't you gonna fire her?
No, I gave her a pay rise, I felt so sorry for her, what was I supposed to do?
See? How can you expect to me to tell you I'm late when you’re incapable of handling problems?
Which one is it then? Are you late or pregnant?
Well, I'm late...but I might be pregnant
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
Shit Roberto, that's just the reaction I needed to make me feel better
It makes me feel so secure with my partner
Hey, hey, hey, cut out the sarcasm! What are you trying to say? That I'm immature?
Well yeah
Ok, maybe I am, but not for the important stuff. We're gonna be parents, fine!
We've got a kid on the way, fine! But it really hurts to know you don't trust me
Right now I'm feeling kind of anxious and having trouble breathing, but it's out of happiness
cos we're gonna have a family and I'm gonna be a dad! And I'm gonna sit down now
cos I'm getting kind of dizzy. But it's from joy, not worry
Because I'm right here with you!
Relax honey
I'm not ready to be a mum either
But I am! We need to be strong! We need to look our problems in the face, ok?
Ok
Right, well I'll go and take the test
Sure! Shall I give you a hand? What do you have to do?
No, no, there's no need
No, no, I want us to be together in this from the beginning, babe
Well do you know how this thing works?
Well take that and read the instructions then. I'll be right back
That's it. I made it clear to him that we're finished, that it was a silly mistake and it's best if we both forget all about it
And that's it
It was a farewell full of affection, right?
Have I got something on my face?
It's got liar written all over it
You had it off with him again!
Alicia, keep your voice down!
In the caretaker’s house?
I'm not telling you anything
Oh my God, in the caretaker's house, no way!
You should have told me. I'd have gone out and you'd have been more comfortable here
No! It's over
Have you broken up?
No, we haven't broken up because we weren't together
So you're still together
No! This has all been a terrible mistake. A few years down the line, we'll look back on it and have a good laugh, that's all.
I'd rather laugh about it now
Hey, what's he like in bed then?
What's your problem?
Wow, he's good in bed, is he?
I'm not telling you anything!
It's written all over your face. Tell me and get it off your chest
Well then
Roberto! Roberto!
She's coming, she's coming
So are we going to the cinema, then, or what are we gonna do?
I'd rather go for a beer
Good evening
Hello Paloma
Hi, how are you?
That girl always looks so nice
Bye
Has she really taken the test?
Yeah, I heard them
Here it is! Let's see
Let's see what colour it's turned
Blue!
Does that mean it's a boy?
It means she's not pregnant!
Good! That way we can sleep in peace
She's escaped by the skin of her teeth! Let's see what happens next month
Wow, someone's taken it badly, Paloma
Go and get shitfaced, you old pisshead!
Wow what a lovely story...Paco, I'll take this one
Legends of the Fall. You're in love, aren't you man?
Nah! My thing with Belen's just a fling, a mistake, a stumble
Playboys like me weren't made to be with one woman. I like to play the field
Well then, I'll see you around
Right, see you later
God, what's the matter with me? My immune system must be weak
Rewind it when you're done!
Marisa, would you mind telling me where we're going?
You just follow my lead
What are you doing?
We've got insurance now, damnit
Ow my neck! My neck! Don't move me, Vicenta
What happened?
Señor Cuesta, call an ambulance! I've had a fall
Well for someone who’s had a fall, you're not lying awkwardly at all
So what? I fall very gracefully
Marisa, get up, come on, you're making a fool of yourself
Hey, this joke's in really poor taste, you know that
What scum, Juan, seriously, what scum! Kick them out!
Why couldn't you keep your mouth shut? A bit longer and I'd have got a load of money
Marisa, you need to be respectable
I can't afford it on my pension. You need money to be respectable
It's lovely to live life with your head held up high
Señor Cuesta, call an ambulance. It's real this time
Oh Vicenta, sweetie, that's some blow you've taken from walking with your head held high
God, by the time they cure you, it'll hardly be worth it