Animaniacs (1993–1998): Season 5, Episode 9 - Birds on a Wire/The Scoring Session/The Animaniacs Suite - full transcript
NARRATOR: Newsreel of the Stars.
Dateline: Hollywood, 1930.
The Warner Bros. Studio.
Here at the studio's
new animation department…
The artists toiled endlessly
to come up with cartoon stars
ultimately creating three new characters,
the Warner brothers and their sister, Dot.
Hello, Nurse.
NARRATOR: Unfortunately, the Warner kids
were totally out of control.
Boingy, boingy, boingy, boingy.
NARRATOR: The trio ran amok
throughout the studio…
Until their capture.
The Warners' films,
which made absolutely no sense
were locked away in the studio vault,
never to be released.
As for the Warners themselves,
they were locked away
in the studio water tower,
also never to be released.
Publicly, the studio has disavowed
any knowledge of the Warners' existence…
To this very day
when the Warners escaped.
[SINGING]
♪ It's time for Animaniacs. ♪
♪ And we're zany to the max. ♪
♪ So just sit back and relax ♪
♪ You'll laugh till you collapse. ♪
♪ We're Animaniacs. ♪
♪ - Come join the Warner brothers. ♪
♪ - And the Warner sister, Dot. ♪
♪ Just for fun we run around ♪
♪ The Warner movie lot. ♪
♪ They lock us in the tower ♪
♪ Whenever we get caught. ♪
♪ But we break loose and then vamoose ♪
♪ And now you know the plot. ♪
♪ We're Animaniacs. ♪
♪ Dot is cute and Yakko yaks ♪
♪ Wakko packs away the snacks ♪
♪ While Bill Clinton plays the sax. ♪
♪ We're Animaniacs. ♪
♪ Meet Pinky and the Brain ♪
♪ Who want to rule the universe. ♪
♪ Good feathers flock together ♪
♪ Slappy whacks them with her purse. ♪
♪ Buttons chases Mindy ♪
♪ While Rita sings a verse. ♪
♪ The writers flipped, we have no script ♪
♪ Why bother to rehearse? ♪
♪ We're Animaniacs. ♪
♪ We have pay-or-play contracts. ♪
♪ We're zany to the max ♪
♪ There's bologna in our slacks. ♪
♪ We're Animan-y. ♪
♪ Totally insane-y ♪
♪ Pinky and the Brain-y ♪
♪ Animaniacs. ♪
♪ Those are the facts. ♪
GOODFEATHER ONE:
Whoa, look at that sunrise, huh?
- GOODFEATHER TWO: Unbelievable.
- GOODFEATHER THREE: Magnificent.
Look at the way light hits the mountains.
And the way it reflects off the trees.
And smell that breeze
coming down from the north.
It's incredible.
- You mean the west.
- GOODFEATHER TWO: What?
GOODFEATHER THREE:
The breeze is coming out of the west.
What are you, a birdbrain?
The breeze is coming from the ocean.
Yeah, and the ocean is west.
The mountains are north.
No, they're not.
The ocean is north.
Who cares?
North, south, it's a beautiful sunrise.
Are you saying I don't know my directions?
That I'm sort of "Wrong Way" Corrigan?
I'm a misguided direction a list
gooney bird? Is that what you're saying?
No, I'm just saying that the breeze
is coming from the west.
But who cares?
I mean, it's no big deal.
Okay, that's it.
- Come on.
- Oh, hey, you guys, knock it off.
What's the matter with you?
[INSTRUMENTS TUNING]
Ooh! Humph.
Ooh!
[HORN BLOWS LOUDLY]
[INHALES DEEPLY]
Huh?
[GASPS]
Settle, people, settle.
- Ahem.
- Ahem.
Good morning.
Your regular conductor, Richard Stone…
Is off having a long-deserved rest
at Camarillo.
So I, Neivel Nosenest, shall
conduct today's, ugh, scoring session.
Before we begin,
I have three rules which must be obeyed.
Number one, no one is to be late.
Sorry, I'm late.
Excuse me.
Excuse me. Coming through. Sorry. Oops.
Watch out. Pardon me. So sorry.
[GROWLS]
Don't mind me.
Just go right ahead.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Rule number two,
never interrupt me when...
[DOOR OPENS]
Sorry, but does anybody know
where I'm sitting?
Grr. There.
Thanks. Nice tie. Yard sale?
Grr. Rule number three,
musicians will arrive…
With their instruments tuned
and prepared to play.
[DOOR OPENS]
Hi. Do you happen to know
if there's a recording session today?
Yes, there is a recording session today.
Oh, well, I left my sheet music
in the water tower.
- Do you have an extra copy I can borrow?
- Just take your seat.
There's music on the stands.
Thanks. Say, where's Richard?
As I already explained, he's out today.
I am the guest conductor,
Neivel Nosenest.
- Neivel Nosenest?
- Neivel Nosenest?
[CHUCKLING]
How do you get a name like Nosenest?
Forget I asked.
[IN UNISON] Ew.
All right, people,
please turn to the first piece of music.
[BELCHES]
Drumsticks.
People, settle.
The cartoon we're scoring today
is called "Lights, Camera, Traction."
And in this scene,
I need you to arpeggiate the chords…
Into the modulation and accelerando
out of the first movement.
- Uh, what does that mean?
- It means play it like cartoon music, Ralph.
- Ah, good.
- I see.
MAN: There you go.
Here we go.
And one, two, three, four.
[PLAYING CLASSICAL MUSIC]
- Hold it!
- What?
Yes, I have a question.
On page three, bar two, measure 41,
I have a B flat.
Did you mean to write a B flat?
Um, I have an A sharp.
Yeah, I have a G flat.
Definitely a G flat.
Uh, I think mines is a M.
[ALL YELLING INDISTINCTLY]
Quiet!
Of course, it's a B flat.
See? B flat.
It's supposed to be a B flat.
That's what I thought. Fine.
If that's what you want, a B flat it is.
[GROANS]
Let's move on, shall we?
[PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC]
Give me that.
What does it say here?
It says piano.
Piano means soft.
You're supposed to play piano.
Right.
[PLAYING RAGTIME MUSIC]
No, no. No, that's all wrong.
Stop it. Stop it at once, I say.
I said stop!
Let's pick it up from one-M-three,
bar 22, the violin solo.
Violinists,
the next part is very cartoony…
So I need you
to purposely play this section badly.
Well, you've come to the right place.
Can we play badly too?
We won't let you down.
No. Bar 22.
And one, two, three and…
Hey, it wasn't like this
back in the good old days…
At the philharmonic.
We played real music, not this noise.
[PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC]
Oh, come on, this is unplayable.
[SCREAMS]
Get these things away from me.
Stand back.
We'll take care of this.
Bad notes. Bad, bad notes.
There.
Our job here is done.
Congratulations.
Thank you. And a special thanks to all the
little quarter notes that made this possible.
All right, that does it.
How can I conduct
when you three are driving me crazy?
[IN UNISON] We'll show you how.
I think it should go,
uh, something like this.
[PLAYING THE "ANIMANIACS"
THEME SONG]
Stop it right now.
Yeah, it's my turn.
[ORCHESTRA PLAYING UPBEAT MELODY]
[SCREAMS]
This is not the right music.
How about this?
[ORCHESTRA PLAYING UPBEAT MELODY]
Give me that.
[ORCHESTRA PLAYING UPBEAT MELODY]
Yes. Like this.
Better.
Very nice.
Huh?
Come back here with that.
[ORCHESTRA PLAYING COUNTRY MELODY]
[ORCHESTRA PLAYING "ANIMANIACS"
THEME SONG AND UPBEAT MELODY]
[GRUNTING]
[ALL APPLAUDING]
- Nice job there, Neivel.
- Faboo.
That sounded great, Mr. Nosenest.
Thank you.
It did go rather well, didn't it?
Absolutely.
And we're ready to record anytime you are.
Huh?
You mean,
you didn't record what we just did?
No, we're just setting the levels.
[GROANS]
Oh, all right.
Places, everybody.
Union break.
No, wait. Please, come back.
[LAUGHING]
You know, that's the fifth conductor
we've lost this week.
[PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC]
[IN UNISON]
Hi, we're the Warner brothers.
And the Warner sister.
And we'd like to invite you
and all the members of your household…
To gather around the TV set
and celebrate…
The first 99 episodes of Animaniacs.
And here's the good news, folks.
It actually doesn't stink.
[SCREAMS]
[SCREAMS]
[IN UNISON] Goodbye, Nurse.
[English - US - SDH]
Dateline: Hollywood, 1930.
The Warner Bros. Studio.
Here at the studio's
new animation department…
The artists toiled endlessly
to come up with cartoon stars
ultimately creating three new characters,
the Warner brothers and their sister, Dot.
Hello, Nurse.
NARRATOR: Unfortunately, the Warner kids
were totally out of control.
Boingy, boingy, boingy, boingy.
NARRATOR: The trio ran amok
throughout the studio…
Until their capture.
The Warners' films,
which made absolutely no sense
were locked away in the studio vault,
never to be released.
As for the Warners themselves,
they were locked away
in the studio water tower,
also never to be released.
Publicly, the studio has disavowed
any knowledge of the Warners' existence…
To this very day
when the Warners escaped.
[SINGING]
♪ It's time for Animaniacs. ♪
♪ And we're zany to the max. ♪
♪ So just sit back and relax ♪
♪ You'll laugh till you collapse. ♪
♪ We're Animaniacs. ♪
♪ - Come join the Warner brothers. ♪
♪ - And the Warner sister, Dot. ♪
♪ Just for fun we run around ♪
♪ The Warner movie lot. ♪
♪ They lock us in the tower ♪
♪ Whenever we get caught. ♪
♪ But we break loose and then vamoose ♪
♪ And now you know the plot. ♪
♪ We're Animaniacs. ♪
♪ Dot is cute and Yakko yaks ♪
♪ Wakko packs away the snacks ♪
♪ While Bill Clinton plays the sax. ♪
♪ We're Animaniacs. ♪
♪ Meet Pinky and the Brain ♪
♪ Who want to rule the universe. ♪
♪ Good feathers flock together ♪
♪ Slappy whacks them with her purse. ♪
♪ Buttons chases Mindy ♪
♪ While Rita sings a verse. ♪
♪ The writers flipped, we have no script ♪
♪ Why bother to rehearse? ♪
♪ We're Animaniacs. ♪
♪ We have pay-or-play contracts. ♪
♪ We're zany to the max ♪
♪ There's bologna in our slacks. ♪
♪ We're Animan-y. ♪
♪ Totally insane-y ♪
♪ Pinky and the Brain-y ♪
♪ Animaniacs. ♪
♪ Those are the facts. ♪
GOODFEATHER ONE:
Whoa, look at that sunrise, huh?
- GOODFEATHER TWO: Unbelievable.
- GOODFEATHER THREE: Magnificent.
Look at the way light hits the mountains.
And the way it reflects off the trees.
And smell that breeze
coming down from the north.
It's incredible.
- You mean the west.
- GOODFEATHER TWO: What?
GOODFEATHER THREE:
The breeze is coming out of the west.
What are you, a birdbrain?
The breeze is coming from the ocean.
Yeah, and the ocean is west.
The mountains are north.
No, they're not.
The ocean is north.
Who cares?
North, south, it's a beautiful sunrise.
Are you saying I don't know my directions?
That I'm sort of "Wrong Way" Corrigan?
I'm a misguided direction a list
gooney bird? Is that what you're saying?
No, I'm just saying that the breeze
is coming from the west.
But who cares?
I mean, it's no big deal.
Okay, that's it.
- Come on.
- Oh, hey, you guys, knock it off.
What's the matter with you?
[INSTRUMENTS TUNING]
Ooh! Humph.
Ooh!
[HORN BLOWS LOUDLY]
[INHALES DEEPLY]
Huh?
[GASPS]
Settle, people, settle.
- Ahem.
- Ahem.
Good morning.
Your regular conductor, Richard Stone…
Is off having a long-deserved rest
at Camarillo.
So I, Neivel Nosenest, shall
conduct today's, ugh, scoring session.
Before we begin,
I have three rules which must be obeyed.
Number one, no one is to be late.
Sorry, I'm late.
Excuse me.
Excuse me. Coming through. Sorry. Oops.
Watch out. Pardon me. So sorry.
[GROWLS]
Don't mind me.
Just go right ahead.
[CLEARS THROAT]
Rule number two,
never interrupt me when...
[DOOR OPENS]
Sorry, but does anybody know
where I'm sitting?
Grr. There.
Thanks. Nice tie. Yard sale?
Grr. Rule number three,
musicians will arrive…
With their instruments tuned
and prepared to play.
[DOOR OPENS]
Hi. Do you happen to know
if there's a recording session today?
Yes, there is a recording session today.
Oh, well, I left my sheet music
in the water tower.
- Do you have an extra copy I can borrow?
- Just take your seat.
There's music on the stands.
Thanks. Say, where's Richard?
As I already explained, he's out today.
I am the guest conductor,
Neivel Nosenest.
- Neivel Nosenest?
- Neivel Nosenest?
[CHUCKLING]
How do you get a name like Nosenest?
Forget I asked.
[IN UNISON] Ew.
All right, people,
please turn to the first piece of music.
[BELCHES]
Drumsticks.
People, settle.
The cartoon we're scoring today
is called "Lights, Camera, Traction."
And in this scene,
I need you to arpeggiate the chords…
Into the modulation and accelerando
out of the first movement.
- Uh, what does that mean?
- It means play it like cartoon music, Ralph.
- Ah, good.
- I see.
MAN: There you go.
Here we go.
And one, two, three, four.
[PLAYING CLASSICAL MUSIC]
- Hold it!
- What?
Yes, I have a question.
On page three, bar two, measure 41,
I have a B flat.
Did you mean to write a B flat?
Um, I have an A sharp.
Yeah, I have a G flat.
Definitely a G flat.
Uh, I think mines is a M.
[ALL YELLING INDISTINCTLY]
Quiet!
Of course, it's a B flat.
See? B flat.
It's supposed to be a B flat.
That's what I thought. Fine.
If that's what you want, a B flat it is.
[GROANS]
Let's move on, shall we?
[PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC]
Give me that.
What does it say here?
It says piano.
Piano means soft.
You're supposed to play piano.
Right.
[PLAYING RAGTIME MUSIC]
No, no. No, that's all wrong.
Stop it. Stop it at once, I say.
I said stop!
Let's pick it up from one-M-three,
bar 22, the violin solo.
Violinists,
the next part is very cartoony…
So I need you
to purposely play this section badly.
Well, you've come to the right place.
Can we play badly too?
We won't let you down.
No. Bar 22.
And one, two, three and…
Hey, it wasn't like this
back in the good old days…
At the philharmonic.
We played real music, not this noise.
[PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC]
Oh, come on, this is unplayable.
[SCREAMS]
Get these things away from me.
Stand back.
We'll take care of this.
Bad notes. Bad, bad notes.
There.
Our job here is done.
Congratulations.
Thank you. And a special thanks to all the
little quarter notes that made this possible.
All right, that does it.
How can I conduct
when you three are driving me crazy?
[IN UNISON] We'll show you how.
I think it should go,
uh, something like this.
[PLAYING THE "ANIMANIACS"
THEME SONG]
Stop it right now.
Yeah, it's my turn.
[ORCHESTRA PLAYING UPBEAT MELODY]
[SCREAMS]
This is not the right music.
How about this?
[ORCHESTRA PLAYING UPBEAT MELODY]
Give me that.
[ORCHESTRA PLAYING UPBEAT MELODY]
Yes. Like this.
Better.
Very nice.
Huh?
Come back here with that.
[ORCHESTRA PLAYING COUNTRY MELODY]
[ORCHESTRA PLAYING "ANIMANIACS"
THEME SONG AND UPBEAT MELODY]
[GRUNTING]
[ALL APPLAUDING]
- Nice job there, Neivel.
- Faboo.
That sounded great, Mr. Nosenest.
Thank you.
It did go rather well, didn't it?
Absolutely.
And we're ready to record anytime you are.
Huh?
You mean,
you didn't record what we just did?
No, we're just setting the levels.
[GROANS]
Oh, all right.
Places, everybody.
Union break.
No, wait. Please, come back.
[LAUGHING]
You know, that's the fifth conductor
we've lost this week.
[PLAYING UPBEAT MUSIC]
[IN UNISON]
Hi, we're the Warner brothers.
And the Warner sister.
And we'd like to invite you
and all the members of your household…
To gather around the TV set
and celebrate…
The first 99 episodes of Animaniacs.
And here's the good news, folks.
It actually doesn't stink.
[SCREAMS]
[SCREAMS]
[IN UNISON] Goodbye, Nurse.
[English - US - SDH]