Angry Boys (2011): Season 1, Episode 6 - Episode #1.6 - full transcript

Come in a bit more.

If you move your head at any time,
you're a faggot.

No, keep your fucking head straight.
Ready?

Steve's being such a dickhead lately.

Like, he gets pissed off at me
no matter what I do.

Daniel, don't spit on your brother.

I'm not spitting on him.

It's spit strings.
I'm not actually touching him.

It's just a game.

And sometimes, like,
my brothers are in pain.

It doesn't mean that
they're not enjoying themselves.



Oh! See, that's what happens.

You moved your head, man.
(Laughs)

Steve doesn't even know
how to have fun.

Like, Nath did stink cups on him -
didn't even laugh.

Oi, Steve, does this smell weird?

Go...
(Boys laugh)

Oh!

Fucking funny.
You disgusting little pigs.

Yeah, he just doesn't get
that it's just family stuff.

It's just part
of being in the Sims Family.

Give me the remote.
No, I'm using it.

Just give it to me.

You want it?
Yeah, give it to me.

Just get it... get it yourself.



Just reach in and get it. This is
where I like to keep it sometimes.

If you want it,
just reach in and get it.

Give me back the remote control.
You really want it?

Do you want the remote?
Don't be childish. Give it back.

Did you want the remote?
Reach in and get it.

Daniel...
That's all you have to do, Stevie.

It's all you have to do.
Just hand me the remote control.

Just one little...
Oh, Steve just tried to molest me.

See that, Mum?

I'm just trying to, like, make him
be... get the ways of our family.

He needs to just
get a sense of humour.

Daniel, stop it!

You just never give up, do you?
He tried to touch my arse, Mum.

You never give up!
He tried to touch my arse.

God, he'll think our family is
weird, the way you carry on.

It's just weird. All I'm saying,
Mum, is that's weird.

? Theme music

(Pretend you're asleep.
Pretend you're asleep.)

I know you're faking it.

Karina's been on my case
heaps lately

'cause she reckons
I'm not doing anything.

Like, she reckons I'm hanging around
the house heaps.

Karina's fat.
What?!

I'm sleep talking.

She's been giving me
heaps of grief lately

about spending too much time
with Hunter,

'cause she reckons
we don't do anything productive.

Am I a chick?
No.

Which is bullshit 'cause she
doesn't see half the shit we do.

The thing is with a tat, you can't
get something too... that will date.

And she hates me hanging out
with the Mucca Mad Boys.

Is he at the kiosk?

What she doesn't get
is my gang responsibilities?

No, stand your ground, mate.
We'll see you at the beach.

She thinks it's easy being me.
And it's actually not.

Where were ya? Where were ya?

How many you got to go?
Um...

Me and Hunter have actually been
really busy

coming up with a money-spinner idea.

Do that again.

It's a fitness and nutrition
surfing course.

It's called Fat Boys,

for young fat dudes
that wanna get into surfing,

wanna get up on a wave.

I'm actually... I'm stoked
that we got seven bookings.

Who are they?
Just random fat dudes.

They stay here - we've got dorm
accommodation down the clubhouse.

We're gonna bring in food and stuff,

teach them about a healthy lifestyle.

We've actually got our first course
coming up this weekend.

So, yeah, looking forward
to meeting the young dudes.

G'day, mate. How you going? Blake.

How you going, little fella?
What's your name?

Welcome to Fat Boys School.

I just reckon, from my perspective,

if I can get a fat dude up there
on a surfboard catching a wave -

and a dude that probably thought
he'd never be able to do that -

then I'm stoked.

Say goodbye to Mum and Dad.
See you.

See you, Mum and Dad. Yeah.

Bye, Mum.
See you, darling.

Have fun.
I will.

OK, now, you be responsible, Daniel.
Yeah.

Fuck off, Daniel!

Daniel, don't!
Oh, what?!

I said fuck off!
See you, Nath!

Have a good weekend!

STEVE: See you. Bye.
Bye.

Bye.
(Car horn toots)

It's a long weekend,
so Mum and Steve are going away.

They're going to stay in a hotel.

Whenever they go away, they leave me
in charge of the whole household.

So I become like the dad
of the family for the weekend.

Go make beds, both of you.
Piss off!

Make your beds.
Go and make your bed.

Do mine and Nath's. Go do
Mum and Dad's after that, Julia.

I'll give you five minutes.

It's good. Like, I sort of look after
the household.

Like, cleaning and preparing meals
and shit.

Alright, guys,
who wants melted chocolate?

Just whatever needs doing, I do it.

Like, I assign chores
to various brothers.

Not bad. I'll get you
to do round the front too.

Now.

Get off my chair.

Yeah, I actually quite like
being in charge.

Fuck off! I was watching that.
I'm the dad.

Fuck you!
Just do it, Nathan.

I don't make the rules,
I just enforce them.

It's 10:00 and it's bedtime.
Go to fucking bed.

It's not an easy role.

Like, there's a fair bit of
responsibility on your shoulders.

New rule, guys - no dogs in rooms
while you're sleeping.

Stick that under your tongue.

Things like kids' health issues -
you gotta be careful about that.

Like, anything could happen
with kids.

Show me.

Yeah, you're right. Lights out.

Yeah, there's a fair few privileges
that come with being the dad too.

Like, I get to sleep
in the double bed.

Get out! It's parents only.

And I pretty much decide
how the weekend will run.

You tell Johnno to bring a case.

So, like, for example, tomorrow
night, I'm having a huge party.

So I've pretty much invited
everyone in Dunt to come.

We should do an all-nighter.
Just stay up all night.

That's just one of the good things
about being a parent.

You pretty much get to do
whatever you want.

If you fart, you're out.

GRAN: Well, it's been
a busy couple of months.

I still have not heard
from the celebrities

that Daniel's asked me to
invite to his party for Nathan,

which is unusual.

I do feel quietly confident
that they'll make an appearance.

Work's been pretty full-on.

Off, please.
You're off privileges for a week.

Give it to Jonathan.

My problem boy, Talib, he's still
not talking, despite my efforts.

One word and I'll give you
this ten bucks.

We haven't heard yet, but he may end
up in for a long stint,

so we do need to get him
up on his feet and socialising.

(Laughs) Hey, it's Gran
and the doggy wanker.

He's outside for once.

The other boys haven't been terribly
friendly to him and welcoming.

Leave him alone!

They've actually been
making his life hell.

You lot shut the fuck up!

Well, he's not an easy kid.

I think if he made an effort to
interact with the other boys,

I think he'd be doing himself
a lot of favours.

He doesn't like balls,
he likes dicks.

It's a pretty rough place in here.

I think you can't afford to
be a pussy and keep to yourself.

You've got to grow some balls,
to some extent.

(Yelling)

Jesus Christ!
Don't you fucking spit on me!

You want the fucking afternoon
in iso?

Hi, fellas. Welcome to pig duty.

I've tried getting him involved with
some of the leader boys.

I forced them to hang out with him
a little bit more.

You could do it with Marlin.

You guys could have a chat
while you're doing that.

How about no, Gran?

How about you try for me, please,
Marlin?

That was a disaster, actually.

Of course, I forgot that he's
sexually attracted to animals.

So that didn't go down too well.

I might take that off you.

I tried getting him involved
in song night.

That didn't go down too well either.

He didn't want a bar of it,
literally.

? They try to make me go to rehab

? I said... ?

But I feel like
I will get through to him,

that underneath that facade,
there's a lovely boy.

I think it's just a matter of time.

And rashies...

Fellas, once your T-shirts
and thongs are off,

come get your rashies.

Well, it's a pretty intensive
surfing course.

There's a lot involved.

For a lot of these young blokes,
fat really rules their life,

you know, destroys their confidence.

A lot of these guys deal with fat
on a daily basis, you know?

They look down, they see fat.

How's that feeling?
I can't really breathe.

You can't breathe?

My idea is to use surfing to get
their confidence up to a level

that is better.

OK, welcome to Fat Boys School.

You're all here, guys,
because you are...

BOYS: Fat.
..fat.

That's right.

A lot of these guys,
they're not used to physical shit.

I can't just chuck them in the water.

I'm gonna deal
with the fat issue first.

I'll get you to look behind you
at Hunter there.

This is an example of what
it looks like to be a fat guy.

He looks pretty fat, doesn't he?

BOYS: Yes.
Yeah.

Now, guys, when you're
walking down the street,

you see a fat kid like you,
what sort of names would people say?

Any ideas?
Oh, 'You're a fat shit.'

'You're a rolly-polly.'

Alright, I want you to yell out some
insults to our fat guy here.

The kind of thing that you might get,
yell it to him.

BOY: You've got more rolls
than a bakery.

Yeah. Give it to him.

You're the size of King Kong's arse.

I think it's good for these blokes
to be on the other side of insults,

to know what it feels like.

Why don't you shut up
and eat heaps of burgers,

and don't ever come back,
and eat your wife?

This is great. Great, guys.

It builds their strength, you know?

And these blokes,
when they're out in the water,

they're facing massive waves,

they'll need all the strength
they can get.

Guys, any of you got girlfriends?
Hand up if you've got a girlfriend.

None of youse? Didn't think so.
BOY: No.

Right, you ever tried
to make a move on a girl

and she says, you know, 'Piss off,
you fat shit,' or something?

Yeah. Hurts your feelings?
BOYS: Yeah.

Yep? Right, we're gonna play
a game today.

We're gonna reverse that feeling.

We're gonna show those girls,
those girls that call you fat shits,

that you may be fat,
but you've still got feelings.

Alright, fellas, when you see a hot
girl, remember, let her have it.

Oh, my goodness, don't let her get
in the water. There'll be a tsunami!

Go get that girl up there.

ALL: (Sing) ? Hey, fatty boombah
Want another cream cake? ?

Awesome.
How you going, Lara?

If you call me fat again, I'll call
you all the names I can think up.

NATHAN: Oi, Daniel! Daniel, you fag!

Oh, the party is going off already.

Hey, Tommy!

Half of Dunt's coming.
It's going to be pretty huge.

Yeah, we could never have done this
with Mum and Steve here though.

No fucking way.

Hey! (Yells indistinctly)

Hey! Hey, you got two glow sticks.

Heaps of people here.
Word's got around.

Basically, ever kid in Dunt
is here tonight.

And we're expecting a few others from
other towns and shit to come in.

It's open invitation, so just whoever
rocks up, rocks up.

As long as you got booze and that
with ya, come over.

Briony, take some photos for us.

Yeah!

GIRL: Hey, Daniel,
it's your mum calling.

What?

Yeah, na, it's going well.

Yeah, I got the kids
doing their homework and shit.

Yeah.

Nah.

Na, Tyson's playing a movie
or something.

It's just like a party movie or
something.

Yeah. Right, seeya.

Oi, where the fuck is Nathan?

Why is he being a fucking knob?
Go tell him to come out.

Well, the fucking party's going.
He should be here.

Oh, Nath's always like a full fag
whenever I have parties.

Like, last time
I had this party, right,

Nath put dog shit in the microwave.
And it fucking stank.

Oi, Julia, one more beer
and that's it, OK?

Fuck off!

One more beer, bitch.

What?!
Nathan's stuck. He's in trouble.

What does he want?

Oh, my God. You fucking idiot!

He did it himself. I saw him.
Stupid, dumb...

He pulled the zip up with his teeth.
Fuck!

Are you stuck in this?

Why are you fucking...
You broke the fucking zip.

BOY: Is he stuck in there?

Yeah, he's fucking stuck.

I'm not cutting that to
get you out of there, you dickhead.

He likes the way the balls feel.

Fucking hell, man.

Are you naked inside that?

You stupid little faggot.

(Laughs)
It's not fucking funny.

How are we gonna clean this up?
I'm not fucking cleaning it up.

You're a dickhead.

Fucking hell, man.
You're a retard.

Well, every couple of months, we do
our Scaring Young Boys program.

I get a young guy in, a boy who's
been getting in trouble at school.

Maybe Mum's at their wit's end.

They're on a pathway
towards criminal activity.

Extra ball and chains
for those guys that don't have them.

Who needs a ball and chain?

What I like to do
is to ham things up a little bit.

It's a little role-play that we do.

We make the prison
look a lot scarier

and worse than it really is.

Once your ball and chains are on,

the get familiar with them,
have a walk around, guys.

I have no trouble
getting my guys involved.

They get a week of privileges
if they do so.

Imran, your hat.

A lot of my guys,
they're big show-offs.

So they love the opportunity
to perform.

Be careful, don't strike each other
with your balls, please.

Guys, doesn't Talib look good?

I'm gonna use this as an opportunity

to get Talib involved
with the other boys.

Very handsome in that outfit.
He looks great.

Hello, young man.

WOMAN: Gran and her
little dress-up thing -

I know that it does look a bit weird
on the surface.

And at first, I was worried

that it could have
a detrimental effect on the boys.

The kids here call me Psycho Sims.

So I hear you've been a naughty boy.

But there's no doubt
that it is a tradition.

And it does seem to be
an effective program.

These are our cells,

where you're going to be spending
most of your time.

We lock down for a lot of the day
in there.

BOY, IN CELL: Arggh! Oh!

I'll just get you
to keep on walking through.

And there's a lot of...
BOY: Psycho Sims.

Oh, yes? Yes?

I'm starving.
Can I have my bread, please?

Starving. We'll get
the bread and water.

That's what you get once a day.
That's your food.

I'll leave your bread there for you,
actually.

No, it's not lunchtime
so we'll leave it there.

There till lunchtime.

That's... Come on, Angus. I'll show
you to the torture rooms downstairs.

This is our yard out here.

LEGS: Scum! Get a move on!

As you can see, we uh... we work the
boys like this most of the morning.

And then we go out and do some
hard labour, that sort of thing,

a railway working afternoon.

It's pretty rough.
BOY: Psycho Sims, can we stop?

Please? My ankles are killing me.

Shut up, prisoner, or you'll get
some torture this afternoon.

You wanna spend the afternoon
in the dungeon?

I haven't stretched a prisoner
in a while.

Why is he allowed to do that?

Well bloody done, Talib.
Thanks a lot.

Nice one, doggy wanker.
Fuck it up, why don't ya?

Thanks for ruining it.

I'm so bloody sick of you.
You're useless!

Do we still get KFC?
You fucked it up, not us!

Stop being a fucking idiot
and grow some balls.

For Christ's sake.
JULIE: Officer Sims.

Can I have a word, please?

Just don't take the equipment
without asking.

BLAKE: Oh, surfing lessons
are going unreal, yeah.

I'm pretty stoked
with the progress so far.

Who's ready to go in the water?

We got a few blokes up.
Not everyone's getting up.

But, you know,
they're all having a good time.

Yeah, we had a few of the Fennel Hell
men looking over from the headland.

They don't know what I'm doing.

I was saying to Hunter,
good to keep them guessing.

I am losing a few boards.

Dealing with kids this size, I mean,
they're pretty fucking fat.

They're gonna break a few boards.
So, yeah, I have lost a few.

We get a couple of boys,
what I call sinkers,

which means they sink to the bottom.

We got a sinker! You right, mate?
Yeah, yep.

You alright?

You know, Hunter and I have
that code - we call out 'sinker!'

You know, it means there's
just a boy on the bottom.

You have to pull them out.

You don't want them sitting there too
long, drowning, that sort of thing.

You're good mate. You're good.
You alright?

I think it's three minutes
and they get some brain damage.

Here comes a wave!

It's really surprising.
He's looking after them
and keeping an eye on everyone.

And... I say...

Go, go, go, go!

Standing up, Julian!

(Both cheer)

He stood up! First Fat Boy surfer!

He stood up!
He stood up!

He stood up! Who saw that?

How do you feel, mate?
First Fat Boy surfer!

Yeah, good, hey? Yeah!

(Blake and Hunter shout indistinctly)

Stacks on Julian! Stacks on him!

Stacks on Julian!

Stacks on him!

Stacks on, Julian!

I can't breathe! Get off!

(All shout)

What are you doing?!

Get off him. You right, Julian?

Are you alright?
You right?

BOY: Julian!

What hurts? What hurts?

Are you right?

Shit.
HUNTER: Are you right, mate?

We won't move you.

We won't move you
'cause it could be spinal.

BOY: You right, Julian?
Shit.

Um...

(Muffled music)

Fucking, we should definitely...
(Speaks indistinctly)

..when you leave school.

I'm fucking serious.

Nathan.
No more for you.

'Cause, seriously,
the way that you...

(Speaks inaudibly)
(Engine revs)

Oh, fuck!

(All cheer)

Yeah! Fuck!

Go, fucking Daniel!

Yeah!

Put Fuckos on the roof.
Where's Fuckos?

Get Fuckos on!

(Yells indistinctly)
Fucking put him on!

It'll be fucking hell funny.

Yes! Whoo!

Yeah!

Oh, fuck.

Oh, shit! It's my mum. Shut up!

Hi, Mum.

Yeah, nah,
the Lovells are seeing shit.

No, don't believe them.

Nah, we're just chilling.

I don't know.
What are you doing?

We're just... Nothing!

I am!

Alright. Bye.

Guys, the neighbours
have fucking heard us.

We need to shut the fuck up.

(Engine revs)

Shut the fuck up, Daniel!
BOY: Daniel.

What?
Nathan's done something.

Oh, fuck!

It was his idea. He wanted to see
how far he could get it up.

What the fuck are you doing,
you fucking idiot?

How is that a fun thing to do?

You fucking faggot.

BOY: Pull hard or something.

Ah, fuck!
Pull it out, you fucking idiot.

Why do you keep sticking your arm
and shit in in stuff?

Fuck!
Fucking dickhead.

You can't move that?
I can't. It's stuck.

We're gonna have to saw it off.

Is he gonna lose his arm?

He's not gonna fucking lose his arm.

Daniel, should I call an ambulance?
No.

Oh, shit!

Gonna have to fucking call
Mum and Steve.

Thanks a lot, you fuckwit!

Um, Nath's got his arm stuck
up one of the drainpipes.

Yeah.

But it's sort of going purple
so we're not sure what to do.

I was being responsible!

No, I don't wanna talk to Steve.

Just... I don't know what to do.

I don't...
I can't fucking control him!

You have publically humiliated him.
You've called him an idiot.

And you've riled up
all the other boys

and you know that's only going
to cause trouble, don't you?

Yes.

I've tried very hard
with this young guy

for quite a while now.

And I just thought, you know,
that was an opportunity

for him to get involved
with the other fellas.

I just...
It was a slip of the tongue.

It was the wrong thing to say.

In retrospect, I look at it,
it was the wrong thing to say.

And I do... Yeah. I see
the error of my ways there, Julia.

Look, just go an apologise.
Alright.

Sort it out that way. And, look,
remember that you're a supervisor.

You're not his mother.
That's true.

Now, I need to apologise
for what happened earlier.

I was a little out of line there.

I shouldn't have called you
a fucking idiot

and told you to grow some balls.

So sorry for that.

And, yeah, you just need to remember
that you're the detainee

and I'm the officer.

And do the right thing.
Play it by the rules.

And we'll leave it at that then.

Sorry...
Sorry for ruining your thing.

Well, that's alright. It was a
little silly anyway, the whole thing.

It's very nice
to finally hear your voice.

Makes me very happy, actually. I'm...

I actually feel like I'm meeting you
for the first time.

So...
Anyway, I'll be back at bedtime.

And so see you soon then.

And, uh, if ever
you feel like a chat at all,

again, I'd be happy... I'd be
quite happy, actually to do that.

So you feel like a chat,
just let me know.

Right.

BLAKE: Well, once again, I can say
how sorry I am that you had...

Yep. Oh, no.

Well, you know teenagers.

Yeah. Oh, he's 12, is he? Yep.

I just reckon
you're looking at me weirdly,

like you're disappointed in me
or something.

No, babe, I'm not disappointed.

I'm only disappointed
'cause it didn't work out.

Do you want me to get
the artificial-balls operation?

What?

Do you want me to get the operation
to get the balls?

'Cause I will
if that's what you want.

I'll go and get the balls.

'Cause I don't want you
to be disappointed.

What do your balls
have to do with it?

Well...
That's insane.

I'm just saying that you say stuff

that makes me feel like
I'm not good enough.

And I'm just thinking...
Come off it, babe.

..I don't feel like a complete man.

If you want me to be the complete
man, I'll get the artificial...

I think you're 150% pure man.
You know that.

I told you, Blake.
You don't need balls. Who cares?

Why did you say my ball sack
looks like a giant dried apricot?

I was only mucking around.
Yeah, joke...

No, I was only joking
'cause you started joking.

I was only joking
'cause you were joking.

Come on, I love you
just the way you are.

You're beautiful.

Hey, hey, fellas. How are we?

Good news is
I've heard from the hospital

and Julian's gonna be OK.

He's gonna make a full recovery.
Couple of broken ribs.

So that's worked out well.

Alright, fellas, who's up for
an early morning surf tomorrow?

Who's our surfing champion
of tomorrow?

(Boys mumble unenthusiastically)

I think the Fat Boy Surf School
was successful to a point.

Well, because I don't wanna surf.

You wanna surf. Do you wanna surf?
No.

Well, I want you to.

But I don't know
if I would do it again.

I think it might be a one-off course.

I think, apart from Julian,
the other blokes had a good time.

But, you know, not a good...
not a good finish.

Alright, fellas, so we're gonna do
lights out in around ten minutes.

I've just come down for lights out.

Toilets are gonna be just outside.
You know where the toilets are.

So that should be good.
(Crash!)

Oh, shit! Shit, shit, shit.
You right, mate? You right?

(Groans)
That shouldn't have happened.

That should not have happened.

You OK, mate? We'll get you up there.

These beds should not...
Get you up there.

You've been obviously fiddling around
with the brackets there.

What were you were thinking, mate?

(Speaks inaudibly)

Mum and Steve are really pissed

'cause they had to come home
from their holiday.

And they were pissed off at me
about the party.

Once again,
Nathan fucks things up for me.

There we go.
There you go.

Steve sawed off the pipe.

We're gonna go to the hospital
in the morning

to get them to take it off fully.

Can we all stay in here
for a minute, guys?

Julia, can you just come back?

Mate, come on.
Then things got even worse.

Mum and Steve
made this big gay announcement.

Your mum's got a bit of an
announcement to make.

Well, we just wanted you guys
to be the first to know

that we got engaged
and we're going to get married.

(Laughs)
JULIA: Yes!

Oh, congratulations, Mum!

Good work, Steve.

And they didn't even ask my opinion
about it.

When?
Pretty soon, mate.

I mean, no point stuffing around.

And we just wondered if you and Nath

wanted to be best men
at the wedding?

Is that something you think
you'd like to do, buys?

Oh, yes!

That's cool as, Nath.

So you're kicking Nathan out,
sending him to deaf school.

Then you move in and you take over.

Is that your big plan, is it?

It's not like that, mate.
Daniel!

Yeah, they can do whatever they want.

I don't give a stuff what they do.

I'm 18. I'm gonna be 18 this year.

So I don't rule my mum's life.
She wants to marry him, marry him.

I... Just do whatever you wanna do.

Don't know why you'd be marrying
a dickhead like Steve though.

Like, my dad, if he met Steve,
he'd just beat the shit out of him.

'Cause my dad's a legend.

Steve's a gaylord.

S.MOUSE: I gotta do
my community service.

What's up,
motherfuckers?

? Hot children
Lookin' at children... ?

Everyone's starting
to forget you.

If we went to the mall,
right now,

I would get mobbed.

Do you guys know him?
Are you from
High School Musical?

What's my name?
ALL: S.mouse.

He got upgraded
to an electric
shock bracelet.

Paparazzi, bro.
(Zap!)

DANIEL: Mum's been
on my back lately
about swearing.

Say,
'Come here, Fuckos.'

Come here, Fuckos!

She said
if I keep
saying 'fags'...

Piss off, you fag.
Wiis are for fags.

..that she's gonna
make me spend a whole
day with Henry Keddys.

He's this actual homo
from my school.

Hey, Daniel.
What's up?

Your brother's so nice.
He's pretty cute too.

Henry's turned out
to be a pretty
good bloke.

You got me, man!

Get up!
I took Tim
to the doctor.

He got depression.

Everyone has to
be nice to Tim.
He's got depression.

TIM: I wanna
hang out with
my friends.

Too late.
I deadlocked
the door.

I've come up with
a few plans to
relieve the pressure.

Go tug yourself
off or something.

We are going
to get you a dog.

I don't want a dog.
Tim, pat it.

I'm going to
do the voice of
Tim for the cartoon.

I'm gay!

? Whack! Whack! ?

Good arse on that.
Yeah, man. Good arse.

I'm Tim. And I'm gay!

It's
Gay Style!