And Just Like That... (2021–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - Little Black Dress - full transcript

- (grunts and moans)
- Brady!

- Yeah, ride me, cowboy!
- (laughing)

(thudding)

(news playing on TV)

(thudding continues)

Jesus...
Can you hear them?

Eh, not that much.

You're lucky.

(turns up volume)

(phone ringing)

Steve, the phone!



Who's callin'
on the landline?

Hello... yeah.

- It's Carrie.
- Hello?

(sobs)

Oh...

What do I do now?

I guess...

They take him away,

- and--
- No, I meant me.

- What do I do now?
- Oh honey, oh honey.

(somber music playing)

(sighs)

(heartbeat thumping)

(gasps)



You okay?

Oh.

It's my back.

Sometimes
Big has to rub it.

Here?

Thanks.
That's enough.

You sure?

(typing on keyboard)

(serene music plays)

When you've come to the end
of the road together...

and it's time to say goodbye...

we can be there for you.

When you feel
overwhelmed and lost,

and don't know
which way to turn...

- Hey.
- ...we can be
there for you.

- Get any sleep?
- Mm- hmm.

We can help turn these
difficult decisions...

into meaningful memories.

You don't have to walk
this road alone.

- What is that?
- It's a funeral home
sizzle reel.

Okay.

Well, um, I'm gonna
make us some coffee,

and then, we'll figure out
what we need to do here.

No, you need to go home
and get some sleep
before school.

Charlotte can come over
and help me figure this out.

I'm not gonna go to school
and leave you alone here.

- Where do you keep your coffee?
- Carrie: I won't be alone.

Charlotte
will be here,

and you have to go to school,
especially after that first day.

Well, we can talk
about that over coffee.

- Where's your coffee?
- It's in the freezer.

Okay...
I'm gonna make us some.

Some what?

Coffee.

Mmm.

(door closes)

- We got so lucky.
- So, so, so lucky.

And I'm sorry
about last night.

- Let's not pick
at each other anymore.
- We won't.

It's stupid and petty
and not important.

Y- You're all that's
important to me--

And you're what's
important to me.

- I love you.
- I love you, too.

All right.
Let me get some coffee.

Are you wearing
that cologne I hate?

Sorry. I heard myself. I did.

(quietly) I mean...

And this is the Hampton space.

Elegant, serene,
understated.

It is the largest of
our five event spaces.

How many participants
will you be expecting,
Mrs. Preston?

Oh, um...
I, I hadn't even
considered that yet.

It's, it's fine.
This just happened,
and...

we just haven't
had time to collect
our thoughts.

You're our first stop,
and it's, it's new to us.

Understood.
Have a seat.

Uh, Jane Hayes,
our primary mortician,

will be in
to continue on.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

- What?
- He would hate it here.

We can look
at the other rooms.

No, the whole place.
It's just...

It's just--
It's all wrong.

This place is about
old people and death.

The Hampton space...

- Gotta love the irony.
- Carrie, I'm so, so sorry.

If I hadn't forced you
to go to the concert

then you would've gone
to the Hamptons with Big,

and he would be
alive right now.

(sniffles) I just--

I feel like you
think it's all my fault.

What?
I don't think that.

Well, I do.
I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.

Charlotte, he had
a heart attack.

I know, I know,
but if you hadn't

been at the concert,
you would've been with him,

and you would've,
you would've done something,

and then he would be alive now.

(crying continues)

- I'm Jane Hayes.
- Oh.

I am so sorry for
your loss Mrs. Preston.

I- I'm not Mrs. Preston.
She's Mrs. Preston.

I- I'm just her friend.

My apologies.
I'm sorry for your loss.

Thank you very much
for your time,

but I don't think this
is gonna work out here.

- Charlotte, let's go.
- Jane: I'm very sorry.

I walked in,
and she was
just so bereft.

- (crying loudly)
- No, it's fine. It's fine.

Charlotte, up.

Would you rather
another mortician
of ours handle this?

No, thank you.
Charlotte, please get
it together and get up.

(sniffs) Yes.

Please!

Don't leave because
of a thoughtless
mistake I made.

Jane, it's not you...
It's me.

Shit.

This is terrible.
I feel awful.

I should be putting
you in an Uber.

No, it's fine.
Go home and lie down.

No, but just for an hour.
There's so much to do.

- Are you sure you're
okay by yourself?
- I think I'd prefer it.

Call Miranda.
Oh wait! No, no.
I can do that.

I'm doing it now!

Love you.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

(indistinct chatter)

Oh, sorry... Sorry.

Dr. Wallace:
I, I just need
to find my ID.

It's in here somewhere.
It'll just be a second.

Sorry, sorry.

Please step
to the side
until you do.

No, no.
It's, it's right here.

- I'm just--
- Uh, hello.

This is Professor
Nya Wallace.

She teaches law here.

- You can let her through.
- Not without an ID I can't.

I, I can
vouch for her.

Uh, here.
I- I'm Miranda Hobbes.

I'm in her class.

Yeah, well,
you ain't her.

Miranda, it's okay.
It's in here somewhere.

Just one more place.
If not, I'll step out.

- I'm sorry.
- I, I don't understand

why you're
questioning
her identity.

I'm not questioning
her identity.

I'm waitin' for her
to show me her ID.

Well, it's interesting

because you barely glanced
at mine when I went through.

- Could I have your name?
- No.

- Here it is, here it is.
- Thank you.

Come on through,
Professor Wallace.

- Hi. I just had
to say something.
- Did you?

- Excuse me?
- Did you have
to say something?

Oh... one of the important
takeaways I got from

how to be an anti- racist
is if you see something

you have to speak on it.
You have to call it out.

Well, that's very noble
of you, even if a tad bit
white savior complex,

but the reality is you
just inflamed a situation
that was perfectly fine.

He needed to see my ID.
It was somewhere in my bag.

This isn't
"To Kill a Mockingbird."

I don't need
a good- hearted lawyer
to defend me.

- I'm sorry.
- I appreciate it,

but it's not necessary
to apologize.

We're all just here
learning, right?

Speakin' of which,
what is happenin'
with all these books?

It's all available online.
A Kindle weighs nothing.

I, I know, but I just,

actually, like to turn
the pages when I'm reading.

- You're old- school.
- (chuckles)

(sighs)

Why does everyone
wear black?

Well, it's a tradition,

and it just shows
that we're not happy
and feeling colorful.

Yeah, I'm not feeling
that happy either.

Oh, honey, come here.

I need both my girls.

We're all sad.

Death...
it's a part of life.

It's the saddest part,
but...

it's, it's also
a really important part...

because...
(exhales)

it gives us
a chance to remember...

how much
our loved ones
mean to us.

So, while it's sad...

it still can
be beautiful.

Right? Right?

Rose:
Is Aunt Carrie all alone now?

Charlotte:
No, she has us.

Lisa Todd Wexley is here.

She said she's
invited for lunch.

Oh my gosh, I forgot.
I love you guys.

How we doin',
Team Goldenblatt?

Charlotte, honey,
don't worry about me.
I totally understand.

- It just completely
flew out of my head.
- Yeah.

I mean, this whole
thing has just been
a horrible shock.

I'm just a mess.
I could barely
keep it together

- in front of the girls just now.
- I was the exact same way

when I lost
my dad last year.

I could see my rings
literally shaking on my hands

while I was trying
to be so strong for them.

- It's hard.
- It's so hard.

Oh, honey.

Oh, it's all right.
Oh, okay.

What was he even
doin' on that bike?

It wasn't
the bike, Steve.

He was on that bike for
over a thousand rides.

Still.
It doesn't seem smart.

He, he had
a heart condition.

He got the okay
from his cardiologist.

Exercise is good
for the heart.

Apparently not.

The bike was a mistake.

Why do you think you
keep tryin' to make
this about the bike?

I don't know.
I--

To make sense of it,
I guess. I...

I can't believe he's gone.

Man... that sucks.

Agreed.

Death sucks.

Hey...
Come here.

I'm good.

Well, we are not.

Come.

Hug your ma and me.

♪ ♪

You took the SD card,
and the sound quality is okay?

Okay. I'll see you
in about 45 minutes.

No, I know.
I just wanna get there
before other people,

and make sure everything's
the way I want it.

Okay. Bye.

(subdued music plays)

♪ ♪

What a chic place
for a funeral.

Trust me, it's the only
chic place for a funeral.

Thank god for these lesbians.

Stanford:
Oh my god.

There it is.

Are you okay?

I said no flowers.

I'll be right back.

I'm so proud
of her.

With all she's
going through,

pulling it together,
and giving us
a look today

because people
will be expecting it.

She's kind of
our Jackie Kennedy.

Mm- hm, maybe don't
say that to her.

Oh, I did already.

Mm- hm.

Hi. I need to speak
with Lila and Carmen.

Oh.

The flowers came
right after we hung up.

We wanted you
to at least see them,

so you could make
an informed decision.

Now, we're totally onboard
with your vision, but...

that vignette is
just so gorgeous.

I don't know.

Well, who's
it even from?

(light music playing)

They can stay.

♪ ♪

Carrie, everything
is just beautiful.

The funeral director
asked me if I wanted
to rent a coffin,

- you know, since
he's being cremated.
- Right.

Big would never
want to be in a rental.

He wouldn't
even rent a car.

Did they pressure
you to buy all that

collision insurance
with those, too?

I was tryin'
to be funny,
and I wasn't.

- Well, everything's
just perfect.
- Oh good.

I wanted it to be.

And you changed
your mind about
the flowers.

No, they're
from Samantha.

Oh, there's Gloria.
Big's secretary.

- That's what she
prefers to be called.
- Okay. Go, go.

Good.

It- it feels good,
right?

It means a lot.

Yeah.

- How you doin', my love?
- Okay.

- Gloria.
- Oh, Carrie.

Carrie... how do
you feel about hugs?

From you?
Pretty darn good.

I always ask because I hate
to be pawed by strangers.

Well, you're
not a stranger.

Oh, that's so sweet
of you to say.

But it's true.

He always said,

"Gloria knows
more about me

than I know
about myself."

Oh wow.
He was one of a kind.

He kept me on for years

when all the others got
rid of their old gals.

Bastards.

I mean the men,
not the old gals.

- Wow, that's quite a dress.
- Thank you.

- I wanted to do him proud.
- Ha, mission accomplished.

Oh, go. You have all
these people to see.

I'm so sorry
for your loss.

I'm sorry
for our loss.

Go.

- Aw, thank you
for coming.
- Of course.

- Che, you didn't have to come.
- Of course, I did.

It's someone you loved.

- That means a lot to me.
- Of course.

And if any trouble
breaks out,

place gets a little rowdy,

you know how these
discreet funerals can be,

I got you.

I used to be a bouncer
at a dyke bike club,

so that's some
world- class bouncin'.

- Thanks for the laugh.
- Mm, technically, only a smile.

I'm a stand- up.
I notice these things.

Thank you.

Stanford:
Oh, excuse me, um,
you're in my seat.

It's assigned
seating in front.

Oh.

I see.

Yeah, that, that's me,
uh, right next to Carrie.

- I beg your pardon.
- Here, you can
have my seat.

- I'll find a place
in the back.
- Oh.

No, no, it's fine.
Thanks so much.

I see plenty of chairs
with names on them.

- I'm sure you're there.
- I'm sure I am.

Hm.

What?
I'm sorry.

I need to be at the side
of my best friend

during her husband's funeral,

and I need my husband
at my side on the other side.

Hi.
Can I have a glass
of Chablis, please?

Oh, we're serving
after the service.

Oh, that's okay.
I'm family.

My husband sent over all
the liquor from his bar.

You know what?

Looking around,
I'm not sure

we have enough wine
for everyone,

so, maybe, save that,

and I will have
a neat bourbon.

Super quick.

I'm speaking,
and it's about
to start,

so if you could,
super quick. Thank you.

Thank you.

(quiet chatter)

Oh, Miranda's
speaking.

I would've liked to
have said a few words.

It's a funeral,
not "The Moth."

How lucky...

How lucky
we all are...

to have known
this amazing man,

John James Preston.

How lovely...

to have shared dinners...

drinks, deals...

and, for some of us, cigars

with this one- of- a- kind.

How long...

it seems that we
have known him...

How very long.

And yet, not near long enough.

How large...

he was...

in all of our lives.

He will leave a big...

hole.

And how sad...

how very, very sad.

But for today,
let us remember...

how lucky.

(softly)
That was beautiful.

Carrie wrote it.

Good afternoon.

I've been asked to say
a few words about, um...

my baby brother.

When I spoke with John
just last week...

he told me that he
had never been happier
in his whole life.

And, well,
I'd say that's...

the way to go out.

So, Carrie...

I thank you...

for giving him that.

("Hello It's Me" by
Todd Rundgren playing)

♪ Hello it's me ♪

♪ I've thought about us
for a long, long time ♪

♪ Maybe I think too much
but something's wrong ♪

♪ There's something here
doesn't last too long ♪

♪ Maybe I shouldn't
think of you as mine ♪

(crying loudly)

♪ Seeing you ♪

♪ Or seeing anything
as much I do you ♪

♪ I take for granted
that you're always there ♪

Am I the only one
that remembers what
a prick he was to her?

♪ I take for granted
that you just don't care ♪

♪ Sometimes I can't help
seeing all the way through ♪

♪ Think of me ♪

♪ You know that I'd be
with you if I could ♪

♪ I'll come around to see
you once in a while ♪

♪ Or if I ever need
a reason to smile ♪

Ooh, Charlotte, can
you walk Gloria out,

and just make sure
she gets in a cab?

- Of course.
- Oh, that's not necessary.

Well, I know it's not,
but I'll feel better.

- I'll call you soon, okay?
- Well, when you're up to it.

There's a slew
of papers that we've
gotta get through.

- All right, bye.
- Bye.

Carrie,
I know, I know.

I lost my Bobby
a year and a half ago,

so I know.

People said they knew
how I was feeling.

(chuckles)
They didn't know,
but I know.

It's still so fresh.

It's wonderful that
you get to see
family and friends,

and, and make something
beautiful like this.

I lost Bobby so early
in the COVID,

you couldn't
see anyone.

No one even knew how
to Zoom Shiva yet.

- Yeah.
- And if anyone
would've loved

a big send- off
like this,

it would've been
my husband...

Mr. Broadway.

- Oh, oh, do you know
Kevin Silberton?
- No.

- Bobby's pianist.
- No, oh.

- His orchestrator.
- H- How is that relevant

- today and here?
- Kevin: Sorry for your loss.

Thank you.

He doesn't know...

I know.

- Carrie.
- Susan Sharon.

I didn't know
you were here.

Oh, it's so nice
of you to come.

Carrie...
look at me.

I forgive you.
It's over.
In the past.

When I read the obit
in the "Times,"

I said to myself,
"Susan Sharon,

life is too short
to hold a grudge."

Do you--
You remember Miranda?

Sure.
All of that's water

under the bridge,
I guess.

So, I said to myself,

"Susan Sharon,
let it go.

"Just fuckin'
let it go,

"and go to Carrie,
and make things
right with her

- whether she wants to or not."
- No--

I mean,
I know you have a lot
on your plate right now,

and I'm not expecting
an apology or a mea culpa,

so just consider this your
"Get Out of Jail Free" card.

I love you.
I'm back. The end.

And we can work
this all out when
you have the bandwidth.

It was nice
to see you again.

Yes.

(piano music plays)

What happened
between you two?

I have no idea.
I was hoping you knew.

- I mean... Hey.
- Hey.

- How you holdin' up, huh?
- Oh, I'm fine, fine.

Do you need anything?

That Carrie.
She's totally amazing.

Runnin' around,
she's producin' this
whole thing, you know...

If it were you in that box,
I would be a total mess.

- She's not even cryin'.
- Yeah...

but is that a good thing?

It must be cool
being like a real,
for- real comedian.

- (Che chuckles)
- My buddy Sean makes
these funny videos,

- but, you know,
he's not a pro.
- Wow.

- Cool.
- (shouts) Brady!

(clatters)

What do you think
you're doing?

Down there.
I'm talking to you.

- What do you think
you're doing?
- Che: Well, uh,

I'm pickin' up the pipe

that my man here
threw to the ground.

He is not your man.

He is my son,
and he is not a man.
He is a minor.

I could have
you arrested.

Okay, so I was
just standing here

minding my own business,
not corrupting a minor,

when he came over
and asked me for a hit.

- He's 17!
- Stop, you're
embarrassing me.

No, you have
embarrassed yourself.

Who the fuck
are you anyway?

Why are you even here?

What're you?
Some kind of a, a

funeral pot pusher?

No, I'm not,
but that is a great idea
for an untapped market.

- You think this is funny?
- Well, not yet, but...

gimme an hour or two,
and I'll work it into
a solid tight ten.

Mom, Mom.

I don't know
who you are...

or where you
came from,

but, trust me,
you don't wanna
mess with me.

And if you don't back
the fuck up from us
right fuckin' now,

I'm gonna rip your
goddamn head off.

Okay, just chill, all right?

- Slow your roll.
- I have no intention
of slowing my anything.

This is my son that
you are getting high
on God- knows- what.

Mom!
It was just weed.

I, I felt sad.
I needed a hit.

- Oh, you felt sad.
- Yes!

Maybe I should kill myself,
so you can try crack.

- Oh my god.
- You're going home with
your father right now.

And no Luisa for a week.

Oh, okay, now you
sound really crazy.

What did you say?

I said, um...

Where's Dad?

I'm gonna go find him.

Oh, Miranda, I want
you to meet someone.

This is my
podcast boss,

Che Diaz.
Che...

this is my ride- or- die,
Miranda.

- Hey.
- Nice to meet you.

Oh, sorry. I have to--
Anyway, excuse me.

Um...

- All I can say is--
- If you actually think

there are words that
are gonna make this
less uncomfortable...

go for it.

Okay...
I was, maybe,
a little too--

No, don't.
You were fine.

That, that was totally
on me out there.

I didn't think
his age was
even a factor,

probably 'cause
I've been smokin' weed
since I was 13.

Why didn't you
tell me who you were?

I just assumed that
the correct behavior
when you're...

being accused of doing
inappropriate things

with a boy is to
just walk away.

But, um...

honestly, it was
very cool how you
protected him out there.

- (Miranda chuckles)
- Yeah.

Well, thank you.

I guess I'm kinda
like a mama bear

- when it comes to my kid.
- Mama bear?

- Honey, try papa bear.
- (both laughing)

Okay, like a big daddy
silverback papa bear like,

"Rawr!"

(both laughing)

Let's start again.

I'm Che Diaz.

- I'm Miranda Hobbes.
- Hi.

Um, Che as
in Che Guevara?

Ah, (clears throat).
Che as in the first
three letters of Cheryl.

Yeah, I dropped
the "r- y- l."

I mean, do I seem
like a Cheryl?

- No.
- Yeah.

And you don't seem
like a Miranda.

- Oh?
- Yeah.

What do I seem like?

- A Rambo.
- (laughs)

- Yeah, like...
(imitates gunfire)
- Right, right.

(somber music playing)

Well... at least
that's all behind me.

(elevator dings)

I guess this is what
happens when you request
"No flowers, please."

What part of "no flowers"

do orchid people
not understand?

I can take that lox
to the synagogue

if it's still good
in the morning.

- Yes, please do.
- (object thuds)

("Good Times" by Chic plays
over tinny recording)

♪ Leave your cares behind ♪

- ♪ These are the good times ♪
- (softly) What the fuck?

(light music playing)

♪ ♪

(quietly) Oh, hi.

(chuckles)

Aaaah! No, no!
Get that devil doll
away from me!

(exclaiming)

- Hey! Hey!
- That devil doll's tryin'
to steal her shit!

Help!
Give me my bag!

Ha!
Take that, devil doll.

This shit's crazy.

Oh my god.
I'm so sorry.

- Are you okay?
- I'm okay.

I, I, I--
It was unclear to me

whether that was
a white savior
moment or not.

Well, I, uh...

I think that was
a "any kind of savior
will do" moment.

- What the fuck was that?
- I have no idea,

but I'm telling you,
a Kindle would not have
had the same impact.

(laughs)

- Old- school.
- Old- school.

(laughing)

♪ ♪

(door bell chimes)

Good afternoon.
This was just
delivered for you.

Oh, thanks, Joe.

♪ ♪

Shouldn't they have
called her first?

- I would think.
- Carrie: Well, I was
pretty out of it that day.

Maybe I checked
a box that said,

"Please surprise me at home
with my dead husband's ashes."

(phone ringing)

- Did I make these too strong?
- Not for this occasion.

Hello?

Oh... okay.

Thank you, Joe.

Charlotte's on her way up.

Stanford, you have
to go and hide.

- Excuse me?
- If she sees you two,

she'll think
I didn't call her.

Well, why would she think that?

- Because I didn't call her.
- Is something wrong?

You mean,
besides the fact that
Big is in that box?

I didn't call her
because she tends to run
a little emotional,

and this situation
is emotional enough,

so, Stanny, can
ya please go hide?

- Why can't Miranda hide?
- Because I'm not going to.

Listen,
it's Miranda's turn
to sleep here.

- You're the outlier.
- I have a feeling
I'm a bad hider.

It won't be that long,
I promise.

I'll tell her that
I'm not in the mood to talk.

I'm depressed, which I am.

- Hey.
- Miranda's here.
It's her night.

Hi.

Well, I just stopped by
on my way home

because I went to the good
magazine place today,

and I brought
you "British Vogue,"

"Spanish Vogue,"
and "Italian"--

Stanford?

- Where?
- He just like...

ran by in- into the bedroom.

Come out, Stanny.

Sorry, I went back
for my martini.

I, I told you,
I'm not a good hider.

Big's ashes came,
and she was upset.

Okay... well...

Here are your magazines.
Have a good night.

Wait, Charlotte.

I was very upset
when his ashes arrived,

so I called Stanford.

Please don't make
this about you.

I'm trying really
hard not to...

but it is
pretty obvious

that you're mad at me
because I made you
go to the recital.

There's no other
possible reason

that you would call
Stanford over me.

- Well--
- Just let it go.

Okay, the truth is,
I didn't call you

because you get
so emotional.

It's because I cried
at the funeral home.

- 'Cause you're crying now.
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
It's just--

- You seem so mad.
- I am mad.

Mad at myself,
not you.

I should've gone
to the Hamptons

with Big
on Wednesday night.

(yells)
Like I wanted to!

- Everything all right out here?
- Yeah, sorry, Phil.

Okay.

Go inside.

Oh!

Great... now
I'm that neighbor.

You can't blame yourself,
Carrie. You can't.

You didn't know
Big was gonna have
a heart attack that night.

And neither did you.

So, what's with
the white designer hoodie

on the old coot neighbor?

And that is why
I would call Stanford
instead of you.

(rain falling)

- You okay?
- I'm never gonna fall asleep.

Can you give me
another pill?

Not for another five hours.

- Sorry.
- (sighs)

(thunder rumbling)

(subdued music plays)

♪ ♪

Carrie:
And just like that...

I learned how long
five hours can be.

("Here Comes The Rain Again"
by Eurythmics playing)

♪ Falling on my head
like a memory ♪

♪ Falling on my head
like a new emotion ♪

♪ I want to walk
in the open wind ♪

♪ I want to talk
like lovers do ♪

♪ Want to dive
into your ocean ♪

♪ Is it raining with you ♪

♪ So, baby, talk to me ♪

♪ Like lovers do ♪

♪ Walk with me ♪

♪ Like lovers do ♪

♪ Talk to me ♪

♪ Like lovers do ♪

♪ Here comes
the rain again ♪

♪ Raining in my head
like a tragedy ♪

♪ Tearing me apart
like a new emotion ♪

♪ Ooh... ♪

♪ I want to breathe
in the open wind ♪

♪ I want to kiss
like lovers do ♪

♪ I want to dive
into your ocean ♪

♪ Is it raining with you ♪

♪ So, baby, talk to me ♪

♪ Like lovers do ♪

♪ Walk with me ♪

♪ Like lovers do ♪

♪ Talk to me ♪

♪ Like lovers do ♪

♪ ♪

♪ So, baby, talk to me... ♪