American Horror Story (2011–…): Season 2, Episode 1 - Welcome to Briarcliff - full transcript

Just look sexy, please.

- Come on.
- You always look sexy.

God, I'm so happy I married you.

What are they going
to do to me in there?

If you stop taking pictures

and come inside, we can find out.

This place is amazing.
You think we're still going to want

to bang each other when we're 80?

Uh, you better. Otherwise
I'm going to leave your ass.

Wait a minute.
I'm the best you've ever had.

Actually, there was this one guy...



Shut up. Shut up.

You are so sexy.

Come on.

Let's go inside.

Last stop on
the haunted honeymoon tour.

Better make it good.
Mm-hmm.

♪ Here comes the bride ♪

Built in 1908,

Briarcliff Manor was
the largest tuberculosis ward

on the East Coast.

46,000 people died here.

You think it's haunted?

They shuttle the bodies

out through an underground tunnel



called "the death chute."

We should totally do it
in the death chute.

Oh, my God, you are so demented.

I love you.

What are we going to tell
our kids about the honeymoon?

Tell them the truth.

How we visited the 12
most haunted places in America

and screwed our brains out
in every single one.

Or that Mommy's a horror freak

and Daddy lives to make Mommy happy?

Mmm, he does.
Mm-hmm.

Come on. Let's keep exploring.

All right.

We got an hour before sunset.
Let's make it quick.

The Catholic Church
bought this place in '62

and turned it into a sanitarium
for the criminally insane.

Legend has it that once you
are committed at Briarcliff,

you never got out.

Their most famous resident

was a serial killer.

Bloody Face.

Say "Bloody Face."

Bloody Face.

Teresa!

You got to see this penny chair.

Oh-ho.

Tie my down.

I'm sick, Doctor.

Can you help me?

I don't know.

You seem to have a very bad case

of morbid erotica.

Ready for your injection?

What is that?

What is that?

I don't... um...What is that?
Let's go see.

No, no, no, no...

Come on.

No, come on. Let's go.

You're killing me.

Promise I'll make it up to you.

No, you swear we're coming back.
Promise me we're coming back.

I promise, I promise.
Okay.

Maybe it's Bloody Face.

Maybe it's just old pipes.

You can totally put it
in my ass right now.

Wow.

Oh, come on.

I can't see.

Hey, take it easy.
Take it easy.

What, you scared? Pussy.

So tight.

Oh, my God!
What? What? What?

Oh, you are such a prick.

You are

such a prick.

Speaking of which...

No, I want to know what's in there.

Do it again and I'll blow you.

Give me your phone.

That'll be three dollars even.

30 cents a gallon.

You think because you're
out here in the toolies

you can gouge people?

I don't set the prices, sir.

Kids get a coloring book?

Yeah, that be Texaco.

Come on, Jack.
I just want to go home.

Whoa.

Nice.

Drive safely.

Asshole.

♪ Do-da-do-do, bow, bow ♪

♪ Do-da-do-do,
bow, bow ♪

♪ Do-do-da-do ♪

♪ There goes my baby ♪

♪ Moving on down the line ♪

♪ Wondering where, wondering where ♪

♪ Wondering where she is bound ♪

♪ I broke her heart ♪

♪ And made her cry ♪

♪ Now I belong ♪

Sign says closed.

♪ What did I do? ♪

♪ There goes my baby ♪

♪ Whoa-oh-oh ♪

♪ There goes my baby ♪

♪ There ♪

♪ There goes my baby,
oh-oh-oh.... ♪

Boo!
Christ, Billy!

Trying to get killed?

Do you know what
I keeps in this cabinet?

Look anything like this?

Geez, give me...Give me that.
Oh, oh, oh, oh,

Ooh!

We just want to borrow it.

Nigger try to mess
with Randy's little sister.

Are you guys insane?
Come on, Kit.

We're just gonna scare him,
come with us.

I'm not going with you guys.

And neither is the gun.

So, just leave.

How much is Al paying you these days?

I hear you got yourself a maid.

That's what I hear anyway.

Mmm.

Chocolate.

Something smells good,
Mrs. Walker.

I'm not to you putting
those two words together.

But I like it,

Mr. Walker.

Aw.

So, how are you?

Good.

How are you?

I'm good.

Let's do it, babe.

Let's tell everyone.

Come on. We didn't
commit a crime.

We drove to Provincetown
and got married.

Your family, my folks--
they should know.

The world will change one day.

The world is wrong.

We need to keep it a secret.

Baby...

it makes me feel like
I can't protect my own family.

The roast is just about ready.

That's not what I'm hungry for.

I can't take... damn it...

Oh, babe.

I hope you like
your beef tough and dry

because that's what I want
for dinner tonight.

The first course was delicious.

♪ Showing off their silver leaves ♪

♪ As we walked by ♪

Mmm.

♪ Soft kisses on a summer's day ♪

Where you going?

To make you dinner.

Okay.

♪ They say that all good things
must end ♪

♪ ...someday ♪

Shit!

Alma, you stay in the kitchen
no matter what, you hear me?

I know you're out here, Billy.

Stop playing games.

Alma!

Help me! Help me!

Alma!

Alma, answer me!

Where are you?

Aah!

Lana Winters from the Gazette.

I'm doing a story on your bakery,

and I have an appointment
with Sister Jude.

Play with me!

Play with me!

Ow!

Pepper, leave the lady alone.

Oh, it's fine.

She was only trying to make friends.

It was harmless.

She's not harmless.

She drowned her sister's baby
and sliced his ears off.

Follow me, miss.

No! No!

I don't want to go to bed!

Sister Jude calls this
her "stairway to heaven."

Leave me alone!

A lady reporter...!

Told you I would come find
you, Sister Mary Eunice.

Brush yourself off, Shelly.

Do you think

I'm full of shame and regret

for what I've done now, Sister?

You could shave me bald as a cue ball,

and I'll still be the hottest
tamale in this joint.

Take her to the common room
so the others

can witness her newfound immaculacy.

And next time, knock.

Remind me of your name.

Lana. Lana Winters.

Can I ask what Shelly did?

I assume you were
punishing her for something.

I assumed you were here
to do a story on our bakery.

Oh, believe me, no one loves

that molasses bread more than I do.

I toast it for my breakfast
every single morning.

Shelley was brought to us
having been given

the preposterous diagnosis
by a psychiatrist

comparing her to a wood nymph.

You mean a nymphomaniac?

Just more nonsense
from the charlatans.

That young woman is a victim
of her own lust.

There's no other name for it.

Mental illness is the
fashionable explanation for sin.

You said your name's Lana?

After the movie star?

Now there's a train wreck of a soul.

Jennifer Jones, however,
there's a true lady.

You've seen Song of Bernadette?

Oh, it's a classic.
Yeah.

But at Briarcliff,
I hear you're the true star.

Oh, no, not me.
The monsignor, Timothy Howard.

He's the real visionary.
Sit down. You make me nervous.

You know what this place was
just two years ago?

A hellhole!

And I'm told the bakery was your idea.

It was, but it was based
on his philosophy.

Well, write it down.

He believes the tonic

for a diseased mind
lies in the three "P"s:

productivity, prayer,
and purification.

The bakery's just the tip
of the iceberg.

Oh, we have such dreams
for this place.

Are all your patients
remanded here by the state?

Not all.

The monsignor's a man of charity.

You know where most
of our wards come from?

The ghetto.

They said to tell you that the...

Oh, I didn't knock.
I'm sorry, Sister.

You were sent to tell me what?

Sent to tell you...
What?

The bad person will arrive any minute.

Thank you, Sister.

Well, are we ready
for our bakery tour?

She's talking about the maniac,

the killer of those women,
isn't she? Bloody Face.

Bloody Face?

An eyewitness caught a glimpse of him

leaving one of the crime scenes
wearing a mask,

which appeared to be made of
human flesh. I heard he's going

to be admitted here today.
Is there any way I can meet him?

You're not in the least bit
interested in our good works.

Our town's in a collective panic.

This maniac is decapitating
women, three of them so far.

I see you for exactly who you are.

Three minutes.
Give me three minutes with him,

and I swear to God
I will write an amazing...

Swear to God?!
It's rich coming from you.

People want to understand what's
in the mind of someone like him.

There's not a pious bone in your body.
Where's the harm in that?

You're out of your depth,
Miss Lana Banana.

You want a story?
Write this down.

Your killer is being turned
over to us by the authorities

until it is determined whether
he is fit to stand trial.

It's an ordeal, I know--
our check-in procedures.

Though, not a patch on what you
put your victims through.

Sister, I didn't kill anybody.

The guards have given you
over to my care.

Not for correction, but for storage

while they weigh your fate.

This is not a meat locker.

Here, you will repent for your crimes

to the only judge that matters:

the Almighty God.

There is no God.

Not a God who would create
the things I saw.

Your story about little green men?

No, never will do here.

They weren't human.

They were monsters.

All monsters are human.

You're a monster.

I wonder...

did her dark meat slide off the bone

any easier than your other victims?

You're gonna wish
you hadn't done that.

♪ Dominique-inique-inique
s'en allait tout simplement ♪

♪ Routier, pauvre et chantant ♪

♪ En tous chemins,
en tous lieux, il ne parle ♪

Ass munch!

Ooh, Sister Jude is on the warpath!

Hey, stop it!

Can't make the welts go away,

but I can make you forget you had 'em.

The nurse already gave me a salve.

A salve can't cure you
like I can... in your session

in the hydrotherapy room with me.

I speak French... and Greek.

Will you beat it?!

He's mine.
He's mine!

♪ Il ne parle que du Bon Dieu ♪

♪ Certain jour un hèrètique
par des ronces le conduit ♪

♪ Mais notre père Dominique
par sa joie le convertit ♪

I can't take this.

♪ S'en allait
tout simplement... ♪

Don't touch that.

Any one of them will sell you out.

They get a piece of candy,
you get another

five welts on your ass.
It's a rule.

As long as the common room
is open, the song plays.

There's a rule for everything here.

I learned them all the hard way,

trust me.

Why should I trust you?

Because I'm not crazy.

Hey, Bloody Face, you're him, right?

You must be
the most dangerous man here.

I heard you skinned them alive.

The last one, a colored girl.

I guess you didn't like her color.

Fight, fight, fight!

Get off of him!

Fight, fight, fight,
fight, fight, fight!

He started it.

♪ Dominique-inique-inique
s'en allait tout simplement ♪

No. No!

Psst! Hey, you gotta eat.

How'd you get back here?

Kitchen detail.

I volunteered. Here.

Why are you being so nice to me?

What you put out into the world
comes back to you.

So what'd you put out into the world

to get locked up in a place like this?

They say I chopped up my family.

You gonna ask?

Did you?

No.

Did you murder your wife?

No, I'm not crazy.

That's unfortunate.
They decide you're sane,

you're going someplace
way worse than this.

What could be worse than this?

You think it's bad not having a chair?

Just think of the one
they'll strap you into.

I'll try to come back later.

Hey!

What's your name?

Grace.

He's gone.
Willie's gone.

There was a medical
emergency last night.

I didn't even know he was sick.

Why wasn't I informed?

Dr. Arden asked

to have him taken
directly t-to his wing.

I demand you give me access
to your laboratory.

When the monsignor
brought me out of retirement

to run Briarcliff's medical unit,

we made a gentlemen's agreement.

Curious, since only one
of you is a gentleman.

Please look at me when I speak to you.

I'm not one of your charges, Sister,

quaking in my boots.

Do you have any idea what this is?

It's a plant.

A little Elena.

This particular strain of Alstroemeria

has never existed before.

It was created by bombarding
the plant with gamma rays.

It is an affirmation of the
power of science over nature.

Your little mutation
doesn't change the fact

that in order for this
institution to thrive,

I need to manage your operation.

Sister...

if you could manage
to stay out of my business,

I'll try and stay out of yours.

Let's discuss another matter:

the patients, four of them,

including Willie last night,

have disappeared
under your supervision.

They died.

That's it? Period?
No explanation.

Patients committed here
suffer not only

diseases of the mind,
but also of the body.

Where are the bodies?

Cremated.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

Cause of death documented
in their death certificates.

I find it interesting

that of all the patients that died

since you've been here,

none have family.

No one to grieve

or to ask questions.

I think you're lying.

And in time, whatever
it is you're hiding

will come to see the light of day.

I've dealt with bigger monsters
than you, Doctor.

Let me give you fair warning:

I'll always win

against the patriarchal male.

Bully for you.

I am telling you, Wendy,
that battle-axe has secrets.

Under all that piousness
and fidelity...

there's a real darkness.

Getting high before dinner?

Makes your food taste better.

If your gut says there's
a story, then there is.

Blow the lid off the place like
Maisel did with "Bedlam 1946."

Get yourself a Pulitzer.

Problem is...

your editor won't let you do it.

Emmerman's an asshole.

He thinks that Canada geese

leaving Chicopee a month early

is a Column "A" story,

and he wants me to write
the cooking column.

Your cooking is horrible.

Why do you think I never eat it?

I'm not doing this for Emmerman.

I write it on my own,

and I get it out to Life or Look.

This is my shot.

I know, baby,
and I am behind you 100%.

If you need to take some time
off to get this story done,

I want you to do it.

The blinds are open.

No one can see.

The pot's making you paranoid.

You think the PTA is going to be cool

if they find out a dyke is teaching

little Bobby and Suzie science?

I mean, I have to fight to get
evolution on the curriculum.

You're right.

I'm sorry.

Anything I do in my life,

I can do because you love me.

I know, baby.

So how are you gonna get in?

Hail, Mary, full of grace,

the Lord is with thee.

Blessed art thou among women,

and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God,

pray for us sinners,

now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

You are a rara avis, Sister Jude.

What does that mean?

It means "rare bird."

In Latin.

And it's a compliment or a criticism?

It's a compliment.

Most women of the cloth
feel they have to deny

all sensory life when
they take their vows.

No.

I've renounced spirits.

Are you sure?
Your cooking reveals

an almost decadent palate.

"Decadent."

Is that a subtle reprimand, Father?

Oh, you know me better than that.

I always say what I mean.

I'd appreciate the same from you.

As usual, you've seen
right through me, Father.

When you put me in charge here,

I thought your faith in me

was based on our
mutually shared vision

of madness as a spiritual crisis,

an absence of God.

That remains true.

I want to know where
you found... Dr. Arden.

He is not a man of God.

The Church approved him.

He was sent here by people

better equipped to judge
his godliness than you.

Say what you will,

your rare bird has a nose for rodents.

You mustn't be so fearful.

It was God, after all,

who created both science and Heaven.

God put the idea in a doctor's head

to create the antibiotic
that cured tuberculosis.

These are amazing times, if you
just look at it in another light.

There is no other light.

We're literally almost on the moon.

Our dear departed
John F. Kennedy, a Catholic,

was elected President.

This is a time
when anything can happen,

if someone wants it enough.

But what on earth do we want,
if not to save souls?

Here's... what I want.

I want this institution
to become a place

of such promise and renown
that we are asked

to be Cardinal of New York.

"We?"

Wherever I go, you go.

You're my right hand.

You'll become Mother Superior,

overseeing thousands of nuns

who will address you
as "Reverend Mother."

And then, with God
and you on my side...

I see no reason why I couldn't ascend

to the office of first
Anglo-American Pope.

You'd enjoy Rome.

Wouldn't you, Sister?

I need you to be a team player.

The doctor needs full oversight
of his domain.

You... look after yours.

Can you hear them?

They sound like
they're getting hungrier.

It's to be expected.

The weather's changing.

They'll need some meat.

What are they?

Do you trust me?

Good.

You're always in such a hurry, Sister.

Why are you out so late at night?

Oh, please don't tell Sister Jude.

What is that?
Some kind of animal?

We can't stay here.
We have to go.

Ugh...

Grace?

Ah!
All right, son.

You shouldn't be locked in here.

Not when there's so much to do.

Am I bleeding out?

We got to get you back into town.

It's only five miles away.

Leo! Leo?
Don't fall asleep.

Come on, baby.
Can you make it to the car?

Come on...
Oh!

Where's your phone?

Is that in your car?

Leo!

Okay, I'll be right back.

This way. Hurry.

What is this place?

It's my shortcut from the woods.

What were you feeding out there?

I guess I'll have to ask Sister Jude.

Why?

Why would you do that?

She scares you, doesn't she?

She scares you to death.

You let me look around
for five minutes,

and I won't tell Sister Horrible
about your nighttime forays.

Or your secret tunnel.

Hello, Mr. Walker.

I'm Dr. Arthur Arden.

I run this institution.

I thought Sister Jude ran this place.

So does she.

Five minutes,
and then you leave.

Scout's honor.

Where are you keeping Bloody Face?

Is he in here?

There was a time

when a fanatic like Sister Jude

could have had me thrown in prison

for my ideas, tortured.

Maybe even castrated

like Brother Abelard.

These are not the Middle Ages,

no matter how tightly
the good sister and her brood

try to hold on to their fairy tale.

No.

This is my time now.

The time of science.

Miss, please.

Not in here.

This is the men's ward.

What's this?

Two little chicks,
looking for a place to roost?

Back to bed, Mr. Spivey.

You shouldn't be up.
Oh, I'm up.

I made a mess, Sister.

You want to see it?

I'll be right back, miss.

Please don't go anywhere.

I got more for you, lady.

I hope you don't mind
if I don't use anesthetic.

It interferes with my readings.

Hey, lady!

You're not supposed to be in here.

I guess you better report me then.

Unless nobody saw anything.

I'm sorry about your hair.

Is this where they're keeping
the maniac?

Which one?
Kit Walker.

No, he misbehaved.
They took him to solitary.

He'll have to play
with himself for a while.

Solitary? Where's that?

Alfred, get your hands
out of your pants.

Why are you doing this to me?
The devil doesn't reside in hell, Mr. Walker.

He lives right here

in the frontal gyrus.

The occipital lobes.

Inside those beautiful brains

lies the secret

to understanding the darkness
of the human psyche.

And ten of them

put together

are not as dark as what resides

right here,

in this cute,

blonde melon.

"Victim was found naked.

"Preliminary findings indicate

"that the skinning occurred

"while the victim
was still breathing."

Kit!

Alma!

Help me!

Alma!

You sliced her from the feet up.

What did you do with the skin?

I'm not here to pass judgment,
Mr. Walker.

I'm merely interested in methodology.

Hello. What's this?

Way too hard to be a tumor.

Mr. Walker?

Mr. Walker?

You've put everything at risk.

Everything.

Our reputation,

the life's work

of our great monsignor,

all his future dreams.

I used bad judgment, Sister.

Bad judgment?

Like eating too much cake?

Is that what you mean, Sister?

Miss Winters got me very confused.

Maybe the sin is mine;
maybe my faith in you

was nothing but the sin of pride.

No, you're not a sinner, Sister.

I favored you. I coddled you.

I refused to see what others saw.

When they said

you were stupid,

I said no, simply,

you were more pure than the others.

It's not big enough, Sister.

Punish me, Sister, please.

I'm so weak and stupid, Sister.

Stupid dummy.

Stand up and get out.

I don't have time for this.

Too good to me, Sister.

If I ever hear you

call yourself stupid again,

I'll cane you bloody.

You're awake.

I'm so relieved.

What's going on?

You had an accident.

Something attacked me.

You writers,

with your very fertile imagination.

You took a tumble.

Get me out of this thing.

No, no. You mustn't move.

You've got a long recovery
ahead of you.

You can't keep me here.
No?

There are people
who will come looking for me.

Do you think so?

You said she was hurt?

While trespassing.

You and Miss Winters have
a charming home here,

Miss Paisa, very cozy.

I need to see her.
But surely, you're not her family?

Lana's parents don't
speak to her anymore.

I-I'm practically family.

We're very close.

Are you now?
Like sisters.

But point in fact, you're not sisters,

are you, Miss Paisa?

I mean,

you have no legal standing.

I have a moral standing.

Moral?
There's an interesting word.

You're a... spinster,

schoolteacher, I take it?
I teach the third grade.

Oh, I admire that.

The molding of young minds
is a sacred charge.

You would never

intentionally do anything to put

these precious youngsters

at risk?

Of course not.

So when you agreed to room
with Miss Winters,

you couldn't possibly

have been aware of her...

inversion?

Inversion?
I mean, you would never

intentionally expose
these little angels

to a homosexual, would you?

We both know what

that so-called monster
in the closet really is,

don't we, Miss Winters?

That's why you've come.

Because something in you knew

that you needed help.

Are you threatening me, Sister?

It is I who have
been threatened, young woman.

Your friend gained access

to my facility under false pretenses.

She had no interest in our bakery.

She wanted an inside look

into a mental ward,

and I intend to see that she gets it.

You can't do this.
Oh, yes, I can.

I can do it either

by exposing the shenanigans

that took place in this love nest,

or I can do it discreetly.

She will, of course,

receive the finest

of care.

I have no legal standing.

You are a respected member

of this community, at least for now.

Your sworn statement along
with our professional diagnosis

is more than enough
for a friendly judge

to remand Miss Winters
into my custody.

It's a small town.

A scandal will work just as well.

You'll be ruined.

You'll never step
into a classroom again.

Wait! Wait!

We're gonna slay that monster
together-- you and I.

Morning devotionals
are at 6:00 a.m. sharp.

No exceptions.

No! Let me out of here!

Come back here, you bitch!

Chin up.

We're gonna get you cured.

Help me!

Did you manage it?

Yes, Sister Jude.

Help me!
Though shalt not steal.

Well, hopefully, that's
the only commandment

you had to break
in order to get these.

Come back here!

Ah,

Sister Jude.

Come to lend a hand?

What's going on in here?

Just a little spring cleaning.

That odor-- what is it?

Disinfectant.

Standard sanitary procedure.

Cleanliness is, after all,

next to godliness.

Something's been living in here.

That's absurd.

This room has been
closed up for years.

I'm in need
of some extra storage space.

I think this will do quite nicely.

Don't think you can pull one
over on me, Doctor.

I'll ferret it out.

Whatever it is you're up to.

A ferret.

Delightful creature.

I used to keep one as a pet.

Until it bit me,

and I broke its neck.

You brought me my keys?

Thank you.

You may think my mind
is closed, Doctor,

but my eyes are wide open,
I promise you.

You hear me?