American Horror Story (2011–…): Season 10, Episode 9 - Blue Moon - full transcript
An unexpected visitor arrives at the White House and reveals the details of a very horrific plan.
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- I can't do it.
Press the tip
onto the paper
and move your hand
to make a signature.
- It's not about a signature.
It's condemning thousands
of Americans to torture.
For what?
So we can get our hands
on some technology?
- You'd rather the Soviet Union
get their hands
on "some technology"?
Stupid fool.
- It's pointless.
You could take what you want.
We wouldn't be able to stop you.
Why do you need a signature?
- Because if you go back
on our agreement,
we will need your signature
when we appeal
to the American people.
- That's blackmail.
That's treason,
and I won't do it.
- If you won't sign
to help your fellow citizens,
maybe you'll sign
to help your insipid wife.
You can either put ink to paper
or spend days wiping
brain matter from the wall.
- Sir.
Sir!
- Let her go,
you sons of bitches.
I said let her go!
Mamie!
Mamie.
Get Mattingly.
Oh, my birthday party.
So nice of you all to come.
- These images
were taken last night
by one of our interceptors.
- Where was that?
- Just outside Topeka, Kansas.
They hit three houses.
We confirmed every residence
reported a missing person
the next day.
One of them
was a nine-year-old girl.
- Shut off the projector.
Shut it off!
- How many does that make?
How many incursions?
- That we've detected...
298 over the last three years.
- All these citizens taken,
and we've heard nothing
from these bastards.
- Not even a goddamn
"thank you."
- Then maybe this was just
a colossal mistake.
Maybe...
we were tricked into the lure
of technology and power.
- It's, um, too early to make
any conclusions, sir.
And now is not the time
for snap judgments.
My God!
- What the devil's going on?
- We have an intruder.
He showed up on the north lawn,
and now he's in the building
and headed this way.
Stop where you are!
Move and I'll shoot.
Step aside, please.
Much obliged.
- It's too late
to move Providence.
It's almost outside the door.
- Then we make our stand
right here.
- No.
I know what this is about.
Stand down.
- Mr. President,
I believe
you've been expecting me.
My name is Valiant Thor.
Think of me as a liaison.
I'm here to supervise
the business at hand...
The processing
of what we've harvested.
- You mean all the Americans
you've kidnapped.
- What do you mean, "process"?
- The creation of a new species,
neither human nor... us,
but able to survive
on this world.
It's easier if I just show you.
- Sweet Jesus.
- Let's begin
the mission at hand.
We promised you technology,
and today we start
to make good on that promise.
- What in the hell is that?
- This is the future.
Go ahead. Touch it.
It won't bite.
- It's a goddamn television.
- Much better than that.
It's a computing device you can
hold in the palm of your hand.
More powerful than the IBM 7090
now taking up an entire room
at the Pentagon.
- Well, that is impossible.
- One day, these devices
will connect your world
and usher in an age
of peace and harmony
among mankind.
This is what the future holds,
gentlemen.
Do you want it or not?
- Mamie.
- What do you think?
I'm so happy
with the way it came out,
I want to start on
the East Room tomorrow morning.
- The East Room?
- And thanks to me,
adults all across the country
are celebrating their birthdays
with parties.
They're not just for kiddos
anymore, Mr. Man.
And now they're going
to celebrate Halloween.
I want grown-ups
to join in the fun, dress up,
that sort of thing.
Make Halloween less juvenile.
My legacy will surpass
Eleanor Roosevelt's,
that old basset hound.
They all love her, not me.
Well, that's about
to change forever.
- Uh, given what's happening,
I don't think that's such
a good idea right now, my love.
- Don't be such a Gloomy Gus.
What the...
- No!
No, no, stop!
- Who are you people?
What the hell is going on here?
- The business at hand.
Ladies, you can go
about your work, please.
They weren't prepared
for your visit,
which wasn't supposed to happen
for another few weeks.
- I heard screams.
- I told maintenance to
double-check those air ducts.
They're delivering more sound
than air.
- What is happening to that man?
- Oh,
he's a respiratory experiment.
- What is this place?
- Where did these tunnels
come from?
- As I understand it,
they've been here
for several years.
I was told they were built
in the event
of a nuclear exchange.
You didn't know that?
- If I did, I wouldn't be
asking the question.
- Might want to keep a closer
eye on that military budget...
Mr. President.
We decided that this was
the perfect place
to conduct our experiments.
It works well, but it's starting
to get a little bit overcrowded.
As you can see, these specimens
are in the early stages
of development.
Creating a perfect hybrid
is proving to be quite a task.
Could take decades.
Two very different species.
- How different?
I've...
never seen one of them.
- That is by design.
They're convinced that
if you saw their true form,
you might try to call
all of this off.
- I might just do that anyway.
- I wouldn't advise it.
- I know.
They'll go to the Russians.
- That's what they say, but...
in truth, Soviet technology
is decades behind yours
and my makers want
nothing to do with it.
If you try to back out now,
they won't go to the Russians.
They'll take what they want
by force.
Trust me, you don't want that.
- That girl.
Where is she from?
- I believe she was harvested
in Kansas.
Topeka, Kansas.
- Caroline Gibbons.
- I'm going to hold a lunch
for all the staffers' wives.
They can bring their children,
and we'll have
trick-or-treating
and bobbing for apples.
- Have you heard anything
that I've said?
- Human experimentation
is not a fit subject
for the breakfast table.
- Doesn't it bother you
that this is happening
under our house?
American citizens
being experimented on
underneath the White House.
- They fixed the sound problem,
didn't they?
- Just because we can't
hear them screaming
doesn't mean
they're not suffering.
- I'm beginning to understand
how they feel.
- Say that again?
- I'm in agony over these
moody spells of yours.
They bring a dark cloud
over this house.
If you're so upset
about their being here,
give them somewhere else to go.
- What do you mean?
- Val mentioned they were
getting crowded down there.
- Val?
- I ran into Mr. Thor
this morning.
He promised to try my fudge,
insisted I call him Val.
So what about that place
in Nevada
I overheard you whispering
about at bridge last month?
Darling, half the time
you think I don't hear,
but I do.
I know more state secrets
than J. Edgar Hoover.
- Nevada.
- Didn't Twining want
a place to test planes?
So give them that.
Or give them all of Nevada.
Do you remember during the
campaign when we had to stop
in that godforsaken state?
It was so beastly hot
and dry there,
I nearly fainted
from the temperature.
- This executive order
hereby withdraws 38,000 acres
located 80 miles north
of Las Vegas
from public use.
The land will be set aside...
for the construction of
a top secret biological testing
and information exchange
facility.
Its current AEC designation...
is Area 51.
- Thank you, Mr. President.
- Gentlemen...
what has taken place here today
never actually took place.
Aside from the men in this room,
no one will ever know
for as long
as this republic stands.
Is that understood?
Is it?
Mary Geneva Eisenhower!
- No, it wasn't a nightmare.
- It was an absolute dream.
Oh.
- I don't mind admitting it.
Val sure knows his way
around the female anatomy.
I haven't felt this relaxed
in years.
- You... how could you do this?
- Let's not blow things
out of proportion, Ike.
It's bad enough
that you passed out.
- Blow it out of proportion?
You were with him in our bed.
- You said it yourself,
he's not flesh and blood.
So it's really no different
than the time you caught me
in the tub
with my personal massager.
He is a visiting dignitary,
so you can say I gave my body
for the national cause.
- I can't even
look at you anymore.
At least
when you were possessed,
I knew who I was talking to.
- Well, now you know
how I felt during the war.
I was stuck here
leading scrap metal drives
while you were carrying on
with that trollop in army HQ.
- By the way...
he loved my fudge.
- Eisenhower did it.
The president,
he made a deal with them.
No, people are being taken!
They're being taken up
into... to flying saucers.
They're turning them
into monsters.
- Well...
it's every bit as bad
as Hoover said, sir.
How'd he get his hands on this?
- He won't tell me.
But I know he has files
on anyone
that he suspects of being
a commie sympathizer.
Which means the whole damn town.
We should just burn Hollywood
to the goddamn ground.
And Jack Kennedy can't keep
his prick, his pants,
or his pretty little mouth shut.
- Does he know
she's saying all this?
- Well, if he does know
and he doesn't care,
that's a whole other problem,
sir.
- Hmm.
- God knows how many people
that little tart's told
about this.
- She's an actress, Dick.
She takes pills
and she drinks too much.
No one's taking her seriously.
- Sir, all it takes is
one reporter asking questions
and we are six ways to Sunday
without a paddle.
And my dreams of running
for president again?
Well, that dream dies.
But if we come at 'em fast
and shut 'em down hard,
we can plug one hole
and send a message to the other.
- You know, if you were
anyone else, Dick,
I'd have to ask
what you're suggesting.
- Well, you said it yourself,
sir.
She drinks. She's on pills.
No one would suspect anything.
I am not sanctioning murder.
- Oh, I wasn't asking
for your sanction, sir.
I was, um,
merely floating the idea.
- Evelyn, it's Marilyn.
Can I, uh, talk to Jack?
- I'm sorry, Ms. Monroe,
the best I can do
is tell him you called.
- Hello?
Who's there?
Where are you, Jack?
- Yes?
- I have Richard Nixon
on the line, sir.
- Put him through.
Dick.
- Yes, I'm, um...
I'm calling to send my...
My condolences, Mr. President.
Lovely gal.
It's a crying shame.
Heh, I bet that's one dish
you're gonna miss eating off of.
- Dick, if you...
If you had something to do
with this...
- Me?
A Quaker?
Well, I am offended, Jack.
Um, I was a big fan
of that young lady.
"Some Like it Hot," ooh.
I gotta tell you,
I'd have liked it hot or cold.
- You're drunk.
I'm hanging up.
- Before you do, sir,
let me set your mind at ease.
I'm sure you heard
about all the, uh...
The things she was saying
on the set of that film,
the one she got, uh, fired from?
- I've heard the rumors.
- Turns out, she knew
about a lot of stuff
she had no business knowing,
and, well, God knows
where she heard it all.
A word of advice, sir.
Whatever strumpets, uh,
you decide to, uh,
fornicate with in the future,
I'd check the pillow talk.
There's a lot of crazy people
out there.
You gotta watch your back.
Are we still not
on speaking terms, sir?
- If we were, I'd tell you
to go fuck yourself.
Lyndon.
- Well, I know one thing
I didn't before.
- What's that?
- You didn't bring me out here
for the view.
This place is uglier
than my granddad's toenails.
- Mr. President.
I'm Valiant Thor.
- Well, bless your heart.
Course you are.
And I'm Calamity Jane.
- Ah, I like
your sense of humor, sir.
You might need it.
Please, this way.
Are you ready to learn
how the world works,
Mr. President?
- Pretty good idea
how the world works, sonny.
- Of course you do.
- As I live and shit.
What in ever-loving Christ
is this?
- What have I done?
Please. Please.
Please give me something
for the pain.
It hurts so much.
- It's time.
How is this thing
gonna come out of me?
Please.
I don't want to die.
- You are no longer
going to scream or beg.
You will no longer feel pain.
You are not going to die.
- I-I can hear you in my head.
W-what's... what's going on?
- To be human
is to not understand.
The optimum condition
for your race
is to surrender
to that innocence.
- Why can't I move?
Why can't I move?
No!
Oh, my God.
No, oh, my God.
Please, I don't want to hear it.
Can you make it
so I can't hear the sound?
- It is nearly over.
You are joining
a heroic community.
You are an ambassador
attempting to bring
two species together.
Your suffering is an honor.
What is that?
Is that...
That's... that's my baby?
That's my baby.
What... oh.
Oh, my God.
- Respiratory intact and strong.
Heartbeat is stable.
- Oh, my God.
- He's healthy.
This is our closest one yet.
But the physical abnormalities
are troubling.
- I can help you.
Please, let me see it.
Can I hold it, please?
I think it needs...
I think it needs me.
- Prepare the tank.
- What's happening?
- It is nearly over.
You are a strong host.
Be proud.
Lift your head high.
There will be more.
Be calm.
No, no, no!
No. No.
- Oh, my God.
It's Troy.
Hey.
- We thought you were dead.
- Are you okay?
I had the baby.
- I felt it. I...
was connected to it in my mind,
like...
it was a part of me.
And they murdered it.
- What?
I was there.
- Come on, sit down
and tell us everything.
It was, um... it was like...
It was like I was under a spell.
I couldn't move,
but I was awake.
And they said it was time.
And...
they didn't say it out loud,
though.
I could hear it in my brain.
And then they cut me open
and took the baby out.
There was no pain.
There was no physical pain.
- So it didn't hurt at all?
- Um, yeah.
At first, like a motherfucker.
But, um...
then it was... beautiful.
I had a baby.
We had a baby.
Oh, it's okay.
It's okay.
We never told you guys,
but having kids was always
a joke we told at parties.
A joke on the baby,
because us as parents is...
um...
but, um,
I don't know what happened.
One day, the idea of a family
just felt different.
- I had spent my whole life
thinking
I was never gonna be a dad,
and then...
this thing became a part of me.
It came out of me.
And the second I saw it,
I didn't care that it was...
whatever it was.
It was... it was mine.
And...
I knew that I would do anything
to protect it.
And they slaughtered it.
They slit its throat
and they drowned it.
And I couldn't help my baby.
I couldn't help.
- What are we gonna do?
- We're gonna get the fuck
out of here.
That's what we're gonna do,
okay?
- Not so fast, kiddos.
You need to calm down
and be rational.
Accept it.
This is it.
- What's that supposed to mean?
"Oh, we're gonna
get out of here.
They're evil.
They killed my alien baby."
- Fuck you, Calico.
- Well, I am sorry to be
the bearer of bad news,
but your delusion of escape
is unfounded.
Area 51 has existed
long before you all showed up.
And no one has ever escaped.
You are at odds
with the almighty
military industrial complex.
You cannot win.
- Wait, how many babies have
you had since you got here?
- Oh, well...
then there's that.
Ever since 1969,
I've given birth
to two or three pups a year.
I mean, it's best if you just
consider yourself a mongrel.
'Cause your one job...
Your gift to progress...
Is to drop a litter on the curb
and move on.
It's okay. After the first few,
you stop caring.
- No.
I'm not gonna be like you.
None of us will.
- Do you think
I'm cold and heartless?
- Well, you're wrong.
No, I've got the system down.
I am adaptable.
I was a nobody.
And now I am an integral link
in the chain
of celestial evolution.
Don't tell me
dreams don't come true.
- How have you not gone insane
in here?
- Come with me.
I want to show you
one of my special places.
Wouldn't you like to see it?
Oh, come on.
It's real special.
You'll like it.
Well, come on. Don't be afraid.
Sometimes when I'm feeling low,
I like to come here
and curl my toes
into the moon dust
and pay my respects
to old "Eagle"
and red, white, and blue.
I just find it so relaxing here.
Ever since I was a child,
I've always loved
songs about the moon.
"There's a Moon Out Tonight,"
"Blue Moon."
This is where I feel safe.
- Why are we standing on a set
of the moon landing?
- Isn't it obvious?
They faked it.
Here, 50 years ago.
Right around the time
they abducted me.
I'd work until
1:00 in the morning
before heading upstairs
with some john.
And that's where
the real work began.
- I was a bad girl
living in a world
that couldn't care
to give a damn about me.
But then one night
at the end of my shift,
I saw two classy johns
in a booth
trying to look incognito,
but I recognized them
straightaway.
It was Neil Armstrong
and Buzz Aldrin,
then first men to land
on the moon.
Beat it.
The problem was, they had
blasted off days before.
I mean, they were supposed
to be floating in outer space
at that very second.
Well, good evening, gentlemen.
- Well, hello there.
- So we're doing rehearsals.
Now, at this point, I mean,
we must have gone through it
a hundred times.
- Right, right, and the line
that Neil is supposed to say
is, "That's one giant leap
for mankind."
And that's it.
Just...
Now, I ain't typically
one for words,
but we are landing on the moon.
- Yeah.
- And we're beating
the goddamn Russians to it.
- That's right.
- Now, does that line
sound like it could
carry a fart,
much less an event so momentous?
- No, it certainly does not.
- No, it does not.
Well, Neil, tell her.
- All right, well...
So I hear Buzz
come in on the radio.
- Yeah.
- And to his credit, he says,
"How about, 'That's one small
step for man,
one giant leap for mankind'?"
And then nothing.
Complete radio silence until...
- The director fucking loses it.
God, he loves the line.
- Total maniac, by the way.
- Yeah, Hollywood.
I mean, and we thought
NASA was rough.
- Oh!
- The astronauts were trained
to protect American secrets
during the Cold War,
but in the end,
it was my famous heavy pour
that could have brought down
an empire.
- Okay, wait,
then how did you end up here?
- They came and they took me.
It happened so fast.
I woke up drugged
and knocked up.
I didn't know where I was
or what was happening.
I had never been so scared
in my whole life.
And unlike you all, I was alone.
- Remember,
don't come down so fast, Neil.
You're afraid.
You can't know what awaits you.
None of us can.
- Wait, seriously?
Stanley Kubrick?
Why would he direct
a fake moon landing?
- Dicky Nixon was gaga
for "Strangelove."
It was his favorite movie.
And some say, afterwards,
Kubrick was given a lifetime
contract at Warner Bros.
With no constrictions.
- No.
I mean, why?
Why fake the moon landing
at all?
They already had
all this alien tech.
Going to the moon
should've been a breeze.
- That's exactly the point.
Everyone realized
that going to the moon
was gonna be a big old
fat waste of time and effort,
so the government
and the aliens thought
it would be a nice way
to sort of ease us humans
into accepting that big, crazy
technological shit was possible.
I mean, if you start giving
people Velcro and computers,
they're gonna start
asking questions.
So the astronauts were flying
into Hawaii the next morning
to make their gallant return
to Earth
right around the time
I lost my first baby,
if you could even call it that.
And I have been stuck here
ever since.
Well, I'll leave you now
to find your own peace.
Thank you for listening.
It's nice to reminisce with
someone other than Steve Jobs.
- Oh, fuck. Okay.
- At least we have each other.
- Yeah.
It's beautiful up here.
- I guess it is.
- On the moon.
On the moon.
- Cal.
Hey, I've been looking for you.
- You okay?
- No, no.
I'm not.
- What's going on?
Did they do something to you?
Some kind
of freak-ass experiment?
- I think it's time.
- For the baby?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- Yeah,
Everything feels different.
She's kicking.
- Mm-hmm.
There's movement.
And there's this... this
pressure, and it's, like...
Hey.
Hey, hey, hey.
Do you want me to call someone?
They can give you something.
- No. No, I'm not ready.
- I thought you said
you were ready.
- No, I'm not ready.
I'm not ready
for them to take her.
- Okay.
- After what happened to you,
I just...
I want a little more time.
- What if I can give that
to you?
To us?
- How?
- Can you walk?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Okay. Come on.
Okay.
Come on.
We're almost there.
- Oh! Oh!
- Shh. Hey, shh.
Shh. Be quiet.
Be quiet.
- Oh, that one was so bad.
- I know. I know.
What do we do?
What do we do?
- Do you trust me?
- Yeah, baby.
What the fuck, Troy?
Why do you have that?
- I have to cut the baby out.
- What?
That's your plan?
- This is the only way.
- That's fucking insane, baby.
- I'm sorry,
that's the only way.
I know how to deliver this baby.
Our baby.
We can't let them kill it.
- No.
- We cannot let them
tear our family apart.
- Okay, but you can't
just cut me open.
This is crazy.
- No.
Everything that happened
up until now is crazy,
but this,
us finally starting our family,
that is the most sane part
of all of this.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
You heard Calico.
They're gonna keep
killing our babies
and keep making us have them
unless we stop them, okay?
- Yeah.
Okay, okay.
So you're gonna cut me open.
- Mm-hmm.
Babe, listen to me.
You have to try not to scream.
- Okay. Fuck you.
- I know. I said try, okay?
I love you.
- I love you so much.
- You're gonna be okay,
all right?
Okay.
- Lay back.
- O-okay.
I'm so scared.
- I've got you.
Bite down.
- Okay.
Shh.
Is she...
She's alive.
- Let me see.
Let me see.
Oh.
- She's beautiful.
- We're not gonna
let anything happen to you.
- Get it off!
No, no, no!
Get it off!
---
- I can't do it.
Press the tip
onto the paper
and move your hand
to make a signature.
- It's not about a signature.
It's condemning thousands
of Americans to torture.
For what?
So we can get our hands
on some technology?
- You'd rather the Soviet Union
get their hands
on "some technology"?
Stupid fool.
- It's pointless.
You could take what you want.
We wouldn't be able to stop you.
Why do you need a signature?
- Because if you go back
on our agreement,
we will need your signature
when we appeal
to the American people.
- That's blackmail.
That's treason,
and I won't do it.
- If you won't sign
to help your fellow citizens,
maybe you'll sign
to help your insipid wife.
You can either put ink to paper
or spend days wiping
brain matter from the wall.
- Sir.
Sir!
- Let her go,
you sons of bitches.
I said let her go!
Mamie!
Mamie.
Get Mattingly.
Oh, my birthday party.
So nice of you all to come.
- These images
were taken last night
by one of our interceptors.
- Where was that?
- Just outside Topeka, Kansas.
They hit three houses.
We confirmed every residence
reported a missing person
the next day.
One of them
was a nine-year-old girl.
- Shut off the projector.
Shut it off!
- How many does that make?
How many incursions?
- That we've detected...
298 over the last three years.
- All these citizens taken,
and we've heard nothing
from these bastards.
- Not even a goddamn
"thank you."
- Then maybe this was just
a colossal mistake.
Maybe...
we were tricked into the lure
of technology and power.
- It's, um, too early to make
any conclusions, sir.
And now is not the time
for snap judgments.
My God!
- What the devil's going on?
- We have an intruder.
He showed up on the north lawn,
and now he's in the building
and headed this way.
Stop where you are!
Move and I'll shoot.
Step aside, please.
Much obliged.
- It's too late
to move Providence.
It's almost outside the door.
- Then we make our stand
right here.
- No.
I know what this is about.
Stand down.
- Mr. President,
I believe
you've been expecting me.
My name is Valiant Thor.
Think of me as a liaison.
I'm here to supervise
the business at hand...
The processing
of what we've harvested.
- You mean all the Americans
you've kidnapped.
- What do you mean, "process"?
- The creation of a new species,
neither human nor... us,
but able to survive
on this world.
It's easier if I just show you.
- Sweet Jesus.
- Let's begin
the mission at hand.
We promised you technology,
and today we start
to make good on that promise.
- What in the hell is that?
- This is the future.
Go ahead. Touch it.
It won't bite.
- It's a goddamn television.
- Much better than that.
It's a computing device you can
hold in the palm of your hand.
More powerful than the IBM 7090
now taking up an entire room
at the Pentagon.
- Well, that is impossible.
- One day, these devices
will connect your world
and usher in an age
of peace and harmony
among mankind.
This is what the future holds,
gentlemen.
Do you want it or not?
- Mamie.
- What do you think?
I'm so happy
with the way it came out,
I want to start on
the East Room tomorrow morning.
- The East Room?
- And thanks to me,
adults all across the country
are celebrating their birthdays
with parties.
They're not just for kiddos
anymore, Mr. Man.
And now they're going
to celebrate Halloween.
I want grown-ups
to join in the fun, dress up,
that sort of thing.
Make Halloween less juvenile.
My legacy will surpass
Eleanor Roosevelt's,
that old basset hound.
They all love her, not me.
Well, that's about
to change forever.
- Uh, given what's happening,
I don't think that's such
a good idea right now, my love.
- Don't be such a Gloomy Gus.
What the...
- No!
No, no, stop!
- Who are you people?
What the hell is going on here?
- The business at hand.
Ladies, you can go
about your work, please.
They weren't prepared
for your visit,
which wasn't supposed to happen
for another few weeks.
- I heard screams.
- I told maintenance to
double-check those air ducts.
They're delivering more sound
than air.
- What is happening to that man?
- Oh,
he's a respiratory experiment.
- What is this place?
- Where did these tunnels
come from?
- As I understand it,
they've been here
for several years.
I was told they were built
in the event
of a nuclear exchange.
You didn't know that?
- If I did, I wouldn't be
asking the question.
- Might want to keep a closer
eye on that military budget...
Mr. President.
We decided that this was
the perfect place
to conduct our experiments.
It works well, but it's starting
to get a little bit overcrowded.
As you can see, these specimens
are in the early stages
of development.
Creating a perfect hybrid
is proving to be quite a task.
Could take decades.
Two very different species.
- How different?
I've...
never seen one of them.
- That is by design.
They're convinced that
if you saw their true form,
you might try to call
all of this off.
- I might just do that anyway.
- I wouldn't advise it.
- I know.
They'll go to the Russians.
- That's what they say, but...
in truth, Soviet technology
is decades behind yours
and my makers want
nothing to do with it.
If you try to back out now,
they won't go to the Russians.
They'll take what they want
by force.
Trust me, you don't want that.
- That girl.
Where is she from?
- I believe she was harvested
in Kansas.
Topeka, Kansas.
- Caroline Gibbons.
- I'm going to hold a lunch
for all the staffers' wives.
They can bring their children,
and we'll have
trick-or-treating
and bobbing for apples.
- Have you heard anything
that I've said?
- Human experimentation
is not a fit subject
for the breakfast table.
- Doesn't it bother you
that this is happening
under our house?
American citizens
being experimented on
underneath the White House.
- They fixed the sound problem,
didn't they?
- Just because we can't
hear them screaming
doesn't mean
they're not suffering.
- I'm beginning to understand
how they feel.
- Say that again?
- I'm in agony over these
moody spells of yours.
They bring a dark cloud
over this house.
If you're so upset
about their being here,
give them somewhere else to go.
- What do you mean?
- Val mentioned they were
getting crowded down there.
- Val?
- I ran into Mr. Thor
this morning.
He promised to try my fudge,
insisted I call him Val.
So what about that place
in Nevada
I overheard you whispering
about at bridge last month?
Darling, half the time
you think I don't hear,
but I do.
I know more state secrets
than J. Edgar Hoover.
- Nevada.
- Didn't Twining want
a place to test planes?
So give them that.
Or give them all of Nevada.
Do you remember during the
campaign when we had to stop
in that godforsaken state?
It was so beastly hot
and dry there,
I nearly fainted
from the temperature.
- This executive order
hereby withdraws 38,000 acres
located 80 miles north
of Las Vegas
from public use.
The land will be set aside...
for the construction of
a top secret biological testing
and information exchange
facility.
Its current AEC designation...
is Area 51.
- Thank you, Mr. President.
- Gentlemen...
what has taken place here today
never actually took place.
Aside from the men in this room,
no one will ever know
for as long
as this republic stands.
Is that understood?
Is it?
Mary Geneva Eisenhower!
- No, it wasn't a nightmare.
- It was an absolute dream.
Oh.
- I don't mind admitting it.
Val sure knows his way
around the female anatomy.
I haven't felt this relaxed
in years.
- You... how could you do this?
- Let's not blow things
out of proportion, Ike.
It's bad enough
that you passed out.
- Blow it out of proportion?
You were with him in our bed.
- You said it yourself,
he's not flesh and blood.
So it's really no different
than the time you caught me
in the tub
with my personal massager.
He is a visiting dignitary,
so you can say I gave my body
for the national cause.
- I can't even
look at you anymore.
At least
when you were possessed,
I knew who I was talking to.
- Well, now you know
how I felt during the war.
I was stuck here
leading scrap metal drives
while you were carrying on
with that trollop in army HQ.
- By the way...
he loved my fudge.
- Eisenhower did it.
The president,
he made a deal with them.
No, people are being taken!
They're being taken up
into... to flying saucers.
They're turning them
into monsters.
- Well...
it's every bit as bad
as Hoover said, sir.
How'd he get his hands on this?
- He won't tell me.
But I know he has files
on anyone
that he suspects of being
a commie sympathizer.
Which means the whole damn town.
We should just burn Hollywood
to the goddamn ground.
And Jack Kennedy can't keep
his prick, his pants,
or his pretty little mouth shut.
- Does he know
she's saying all this?
- Well, if he does know
and he doesn't care,
that's a whole other problem,
sir.
- Hmm.
- God knows how many people
that little tart's told
about this.
- She's an actress, Dick.
She takes pills
and she drinks too much.
No one's taking her seriously.
- Sir, all it takes is
one reporter asking questions
and we are six ways to Sunday
without a paddle.
And my dreams of running
for president again?
Well, that dream dies.
But if we come at 'em fast
and shut 'em down hard,
we can plug one hole
and send a message to the other.
- You know, if you were
anyone else, Dick,
I'd have to ask
what you're suggesting.
- Well, you said it yourself,
sir.
She drinks. She's on pills.
No one would suspect anything.
I am not sanctioning murder.
- Oh, I wasn't asking
for your sanction, sir.
I was, um,
merely floating the idea.
- Evelyn, it's Marilyn.
Can I, uh, talk to Jack?
- I'm sorry, Ms. Monroe,
the best I can do
is tell him you called.
- Hello?
Who's there?
Where are you, Jack?
- Yes?
- I have Richard Nixon
on the line, sir.
- Put him through.
Dick.
- Yes, I'm, um...
I'm calling to send my...
My condolences, Mr. President.
Lovely gal.
It's a crying shame.
Heh, I bet that's one dish
you're gonna miss eating off of.
- Dick, if you...
If you had something to do
with this...
- Me?
A Quaker?
Well, I am offended, Jack.
Um, I was a big fan
of that young lady.
"Some Like it Hot," ooh.
I gotta tell you,
I'd have liked it hot or cold.
- You're drunk.
I'm hanging up.
- Before you do, sir,
let me set your mind at ease.
I'm sure you heard
about all the, uh...
The things she was saying
on the set of that film,
the one she got, uh, fired from?
- I've heard the rumors.
- Turns out, she knew
about a lot of stuff
she had no business knowing,
and, well, God knows
where she heard it all.
A word of advice, sir.
Whatever strumpets, uh,
you decide to, uh,
fornicate with in the future,
I'd check the pillow talk.
There's a lot of crazy people
out there.
You gotta watch your back.
Are we still not
on speaking terms, sir?
- If we were, I'd tell you
to go fuck yourself.
Lyndon.
- Well, I know one thing
I didn't before.
- What's that?
- You didn't bring me out here
for the view.
This place is uglier
than my granddad's toenails.
- Mr. President.
I'm Valiant Thor.
- Well, bless your heart.
Course you are.
And I'm Calamity Jane.
- Ah, I like
your sense of humor, sir.
You might need it.
Please, this way.
Are you ready to learn
how the world works,
Mr. President?
- Pretty good idea
how the world works, sonny.
- Of course you do.
- As I live and shit.
What in ever-loving Christ
is this?
- What have I done?
Please. Please.
Please give me something
for the pain.
It hurts so much.
- It's time.
How is this thing
gonna come out of me?
Please.
I don't want to die.
- You are no longer
going to scream or beg.
You will no longer feel pain.
You are not going to die.
- I-I can hear you in my head.
W-what's... what's going on?
- To be human
is to not understand.
The optimum condition
for your race
is to surrender
to that innocence.
- Why can't I move?
Why can't I move?
No!
Oh, my God.
No, oh, my God.
Please, I don't want to hear it.
Can you make it
so I can't hear the sound?
- It is nearly over.
You are joining
a heroic community.
You are an ambassador
attempting to bring
two species together.
Your suffering is an honor.
What is that?
Is that...
That's... that's my baby?
That's my baby.
What... oh.
Oh, my God.
- Respiratory intact and strong.
Heartbeat is stable.
- Oh, my God.
- He's healthy.
This is our closest one yet.
But the physical abnormalities
are troubling.
- I can help you.
Please, let me see it.
Can I hold it, please?
I think it needs...
I think it needs me.
- Prepare the tank.
- What's happening?
- It is nearly over.
You are a strong host.
Be proud.
Lift your head high.
There will be more.
Be calm.
No, no, no!
No. No.
- Oh, my God.
It's Troy.
Hey.
- We thought you were dead.
- Are you okay?
I had the baby.
- I felt it. I...
was connected to it in my mind,
like...
it was a part of me.
And they murdered it.
- What?
I was there.
- Come on, sit down
and tell us everything.
It was, um... it was like...
It was like I was under a spell.
I couldn't move,
but I was awake.
And they said it was time.
And...
they didn't say it out loud,
though.
I could hear it in my brain.
And then they cut me open
and took the baby out.
There was no pain.
There was no physical pain.
- So it didn't hurt at all?
- Um, yeah.
At first, like a motherfucker.
But, um...
then it was... beautiful.
I had a baby.
We had a baby.
Oh, it's okay.
It's okay.
We never told you guys,
but having kids was always
a joke we told at parties.
A joke on the baby,
because us as parents is...
um...
but, um,
I don't know what happened.
One day, the idea of a family
just felt different.
- I had spent my whole life
thinking
I was never gonna be a dad,
and then...
this thing became a part of me.
It came out of me.
And the second I saw it,
I didn't care that it was...
whatever it was.
It was... it was mine.
And...
I knew that I would do anything
to protect it.
And they slaughtered it.
They slit its throat
and they drowned it.
And I couldn't help my baby.
I couldn't help.
- What are we gonna do?
- We're gonna get the fuck
out of here.
That's what we're gonna do,
okay?
- Not so fast, kiddos.
You need to calm down
and be rational.
Accept it.
This is it.
- What's that supposed to mean?
"Oh, we're gonna
get out of here.
They're evil.
They killed my alien baby."
- Fuck you, Calico.
- Well, I am sorry to be
the bearer of bad news,
but your delusion of escape
is unfounded.
Area 51 has existed
long before you all showed up.
And no one has ever escaped.
You are at odds
with the almighty
military industrial complex.
You cannot win.
- Wait, how many babies have
you had since you got here?
- Oh, well...
then there's that.
Ever since 1969,
I've given birth
to two or three pups a year.
I mean, it's best if you just
consider yourself a mongrel.
'Cause your one job...
Your gift to progress...
Is to drop a litter on the curb
and move on.
It's okay. After the first few,
you stop caring.
- No.
I'm not gonna be like you.
None of us will.
- Do you think
I'm cold and heartless?
- Well, you're wrong.
No, I've got the system down.
I am adaptable.
I was a nobody.
And now I am an integral link
in the chain
of celestial evolution.
Don't tell me
dreams don't come true.
- How have you not gone insane
in here?
- Come with me.
I want to show you
one of my special places.
Wouldn't you like to see it?
Oh, come on.
It's real special.
You'll like it.
Well, come on. Don't be afraid.
Sometimes when I'm feeling low,
I like to come here
and curl my toes
into the moon dust
and pay my respects
to old "Eagle"
and red, white, and blue.
I just find it so relaxing here.
Ever since I was a child,
I've always loved
songs about the moon.
"There's a Moon Out Tonight,"
"Blue Moon."
This is where I feel safe.
- Why are we standing on a set
of the moon landing?
- Isn't it obvious?
They faked it.
Here, 50 years ago.
Right around the time
they abducted me.
I'd work until
1:00 in the morning
before heading upstairs
with some john.
And that's where
the real work began.
- I was a bad girl
living in a world
that couldn't care
to give a damn about me.
But then one night
at the end of my shift,
I saw two classy johns
in a booth
trying to look incognito,
but I recognized them
straightaway.
It was Neil Armstrong
and Buzz Aldrin,
then first men to land
on the moon.
Beat it.
The problem was, they had
blasted off days before.
I mean, they were supposed
to be floating in outer space
at that very second.
Well, good evening, gentlemen.
- Well, hello there.
- So we're doing rehearsals.
Now, at this point, I mean,
we must have gone through it
a hundred times.
- Right, right, and the line
that Neil is supposed to say
is, "That's one giant leap
for mankind."
And that's it.
Just...
Now, I ain't typically
one for words,
but we are landing on the moon.
- Yeah.
- And we're beating
the goddamn Russians to it.
- That's right.
- Now, does that line
sound like it could
carry a fart,
much less an event so momentous?
- No, it certainly does not.
- No, it does not.
Well, Neil, tell her.
- All right, well...
So I hear Buzz
come in on the radio.
- Yeah.
- And to his credit, he says,
"How about, 'That's one small
step for man,
one giant leap for mankind'?"
And then nothing.
Complete radio silence until...
- The director fucking loses it.
God, he loves the line.
- Total maniac, by the way.
- Yeah, Hollywood.
I mean, and we thought
NASA was rough.
- Oh!
- The astronauts were trained
to protect American secrets
during the Cold War,
but in the end,
it was my famous heavy pour
that could have brought down
an empire.
- Okay, wait,
then how did you end up here?
- They came and they took me.
It happened so fast.
I woke up drugged
and knocked up.
I didn't know where I was
or what was happening.
I had never been so scared
in my whole life.
And unlike you all, I was alone.
- Remember,
don't come down so fast, Neil.
You're afraid.
You can't know what awaits you.
None of us can.
- Wait, seriously?
Stanley Kubrick?
Why would he direct
a fake moon landing?
- Dicky Nixon was gaga
for "Strangelove."
It was his favorite movie.
And some say, afterwards,
Kubrick was given a lifetime
contract at Warner Bros.
With no constrictions.
- No.
I mean, why?
Why fake the moon landing
at all?
They already had
all this alien tech.
Going to the moon
should've been a breeze.
- That's exactly the point.
Everyone realized
that going to the moon
was gonna be a big old
fat waste of time and effort,
so the government
and the aliens thought
it would be a nice way
to sort of ease us humans
into accepting that big, crazy
technological shit was possible.
I mean, if you start giving
people Velcro and computers,
they're gonna start
asking questions.
So the astronauts were flying
into Hawaii the next morning
to make their gallant return
to Earth
right around the time
I lost my first baby,
if you could even call it that.
And I have been stuck here
ever since.
Well, I'll leave you now
to find your own peace.
Thank you for listening.
It's nice to reminisce with
someone other than Steve Jobs.
- Oh, fuck. Okay.
- At least we have each other.
- Yeah.
It's beautiful up here.
- I guess it is.
- On the moon.
On the moon.
- Cal.
Hey, I've been looking for you.
- You okay?
- No, no.
I'm not.
- What's going on?
Did they do something to you?
Some kind
of freak-ass experiment?
- I think it's time.
- For the baby?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- Yeah,
Everything feels different.
She's kicking.
- Mm-hmm.
There's movement.
And there's this... this
pressure, and it's, like...
Hey.
Hey, hey, hey.
Do you want me to call someone?
They can give you something.
- No. No, I'm not ready.
- I thought you said
you were ready.
- No, I'm not ready.
I'm not ready
for them to take her.
- Okay.
- After what happened to you,
I just...
I want a little more time.
- What if I can give that
to you?
To us?
- How?
- Can you walk?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Okay. Come on.
Okay.
Come on.
We're almost there.
- Oh! Oh!
- Shh. Hey, shh.
Shh. Be quiet.
Be quiet.
- Oh, that one was so bad.
- I know. I know.
What do we do?
What do we do?
- Do you trust me?
- Yeah, baby.
What the fuck, Troy?
Why do you have that?
- I have to cut the baby out.
- What?
That's your plan?
- This is the only way.
- That's fucking insane, baby.
- I'm sorry,
that's the only way.
I know how to deliver this baby.
Our baby.
We can't let them kill it.
- No.
- We cannot let them
tear our family apart.
- Okay, but you can't
just cut me open.
This is crazy.
- No.
Everything that happened
up until now is crazy,
but this,
us finally starting our family,
that is the most sane part
of all of this.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
You heard Calico.
They're gonna keep
killing our babies
and keep making us have them
unless we stop them, okay?
- Yeah.
Okay, okay.
So you're gonna cut me open.
- Mm-hmm.
Babe, listen to me.
You have to try not to scream.
- Okay. Fuck you.
- I know. I said try, okay?
I love you.
- I love you so much.
- You're gonna be okay,
all right?
Okay.
- Lay back.
- O-okay.
I'm so scared.
- I've got you.
Bite down.
- Okay.
Shh.
Is she...
She's alive.
- Let me see.
Let me see.
Oh.
- She's beautiful.
- We're not gonna
let anything happen to you.
- Get it off!
No, no, no!
Get it off!