American Horror Story (2011–…): Season 10, Episode 10 - Double Feature/Part I: Red Tide - full transcript
three, four!
We don't want no fucking war!
One, two, three four!
We don't want no fucking war!
There are people out there
holding signs with--
with my name on them.
only where the x should be,
there's a swastika.
A goddamn swastika!
Mr. President,
when we discussed
how this was going to play out,
it was clear
that you were going
to take some lumps.
lumps?
Those people want my head.
They want to burn down
the white house
with me inside it!
We need to stop
this goddamn war.
The war is performing
a very important function.
It's destroying
my presidency.
I have to agree, Mr. Thor.
I can't see
what we're accomplishing.
When you were little
and you needed to get a needle,
sometimes the doctor
would distract you.
He would show you a toy
and then while you were
playing with it,
he'd jab you.
If people are focused
on the war,
they won't be thinking about
all of the Americans
going missing.
A-and what about that?
Well, this little program
of yours
has been going on
for years now.
We all understood
that the creation
of an alien-human hybrid
was a complex task
requiring generations
of experimentation.
How much more time
do you need?
We are projecting that
the first functioning hybrid
will be born
in approximately 2021.
That's 50 fucking years
from now!
Mr. Thor, the Vietnam war
will never last 50 years.
Of course it won't.
Which is why we have a full
menu of distractions prepared.
You think I'm gonna sacrifice
my entire career
for one of your little
distractions?
Just consider this...
distractions can come
in many forms.
Good night, Mr. President.
♪ ♪
did that pansy-ass martian
just--
just threaten me?
♪ ♪
Henry.
Sorry, Mr. President.
Must be my allergies.
It's all right, Henry.
Go take care of it.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
a small group of yippies
seeking a confrontation
marched at night on
the south Vietnamese embassy.
Washington police used
tear gas to drive them away.
Arrests were made.
President Nixon then replied
to protestors' demands
for an immediate end--
I'm not sure what's worse,
allowing Americans to be
experimented on
by creatures from outer space
or paving the way
for that man's presidency.
Oh, dick's not so bad.
You mean as far as
paranoid alcoholics go?
They're in control.
All this--it's them.
They're running the war because
I gave them the power to do it.
This is doing you no good.
The doctor told you
to avoid stress.
turn it back on.
Oh, Ike.
Mercy sakes alive.
there.
Right there, you see that?
What?
His pupils.
For a second, he looks like a--
like a reptile.
A reptile?
Okay, Mr. Eisenhower,
that is what is known
as the camel's back.
Mamie, listen.
Valiant Thor and his people
aren't the only ones here.
There's another group.
They live among us.
They look like us,
they're just really just--
where in this earthful world
did you come up
with this notion?
One of the people
that valiant Thor abducted
turned out to be
one of these things.
They disposed of the body
because they didn't want us
to know that
they had competition,
but we do know.
I see them everywhere.
Well, I've had enough
of this conversation.
I'm in too good a mood to let
you give me the polly pouts.
Thanks to me, Americans
are celebrating birthdays,
Halloween, thanksgiving,
and I am not going
to stop there.
I am going to bring back
a holiday
that everyone has forgotten.
Huh.
♪ ♪
"happy ed."
no, silly, evacuation day.
Even you don't remember it.
It's the day the British
evacuated Boston,
and they still celebrate it
in Massachusetts.
When I'm done with it,
it'll be nationwide,
oh, I can see it.
Evacuation day parades
across the country.
It'll be like
the fourth of July.
I'm not so sure
that one's gonna take.
♪ ♪
mm, speaking of evacuation--
♪ ♪
I don't want to feel better.
I don't deserve to feel better.
I'm getting tired
of this sad sack routine,
Mr. Eisenhower.
♪ ♪
oh, thank god you're here.
I am simply at my wit's end
with this man.
What the hell
are you doing here?
Get out.
This is not necessary,
Mr. President.
We can take you to area 51.
You don't need to die.
I died the day I signed
that damn document.
This is just a formality.
♪ ♪
regardless of what you think
of us,
we still hold you
in the highest esteem.
You are helping
to save our kind.
All I care about is our kind.
After all this time,
you still do not trust us?
I'm old...
I'm not stupid.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
you two deserve each other.
♪ ♪
that isn't happening to me.
Do you understand that?
Area 51, hell's half acre,
Timbuktu,
I don't care.
As long as I don't end up
like that.
yeah?
Gordon Liddy, sir,
reporting as you ordered.
Oh.
Gordon, shut the door.
Come in and, uh, sit down.
Well, Gordon, uh...
they...Want to kill me.
that's what this is about.
The powers that be.
♪ ♪
you know who I mean?
I think so, yes.
You see, they think
that I'm coming apart
because of the protests
and the war--
the war
that those bastards want.
You see, they wanted me
in the white house,
and now I know why.
Not just because
I was gonna play ball.
No, no, that's not it.
You see...
I was to be the ringleader
of the circus
when the tent caught fire.
Well, I am not burning up
with those fucking clowns.
♪ ♪
now, this valiant Thor,
he has an office at Watergate
and I--
I want it bugged.
I wanna hear everything
that they've got planned.
Every line
on the goddamn calendar.
Comprende?
I won't let you down, sir.
you'll be the first.
♪ ♪
I got your message.
I'm frankly surprised you
wanted to talk to me
about Watergate.
You're one of the last people
I imagined would know anything.
I know everything.
♪ ♪
but before I say anything,
we're agreed you're never
to mention my name?
♪ ♪
to you, I'm just...
Deep throat.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
not at all.
It's from that filthy movie.
I figured it's the last name
anyone would ever believe
I'd take.
You are a very smart lady.
Not as smart as I'd like,
it seems.
And why do you say that?
It's almost March,
and there's not one mention
of evacuation day anywhere.
I can't believe my husband
was right.
Anyhow, I've had three meetings
with that--
that fool of a reporter,
and he's buying everything.
He thinks the burglars
were after the democrats,
not you.
I can't tell you
how grateful I am.
I was very worried
about the president.
Wouldn't it be simpler
just to kill him?
Too many politicians
have died
in mysterious circumstances.
This is much more effective.
But even if he were
to resign,
what's to keep him from talking
and revealing everything?
we are prepared to remind him
who's running this show.
♪ ♪
I have come to thee
for refuge.
Teach me to do thy will,
for thou art my god.
Deliver me from troubles
and cut off my enemies
and destroy my adversaries
for I am...
I am thy servant, god.
god.
What am I gonna do?
Everybody wants me to resign.
What should I do?
Mr. President,
resignation is the only
correct move left to you.
Do you really think so?
I'm certain of it.
But it doesn't mean
your enemies
will have the last word
on your legacy.
History will judge you
much better
than your contemporaries.
History...
Will have a lot to say
about me,
because I will have a lot
to say about history.
Recent fucking history.
You can be sure that I--
if you'll excuse me,
Mr. President, I'd like
to speak with my staff.
They are anxious to know
what's happening.
It's going to be all right,
Mr. President.
You're a good man, Henry.
Thank you, sir.
recent fucking history.
Recent fucking history.
fuck it.
I'm not gonna resign.
They want a trial?
I'll give them a trial.
let 'em put me
on the goddamn stand--
♪ ♪
Jesus Christ.
Stay back!
You can't do this to me!
No, please, stop!
Anything but that!
Please, please not that!
stop!
Therefore,
I shall resign the presidency
effective at noon tomorrow.
Vice president ford will be
sworn in as president
at that hour in this office.
As I recall--
I don't even wanna know
what you did to get him
to play ball.
Yes, it's quite amazing
the reaction some humans have
to a simple medical procedure.
Well, he got the message,
all right.
And I have to say,
I think his speech
is rather dignified.
Considering I wrote it
for him,
I have to agree.
♪ ♪
it's almost time for another
dignified exit from the stage.
Do you mean it?
Yes.
♪ ♪
I've had a good run.
I've accomplished more
than anyone could ever dream.
I got the world to appreciate
the color pink.
I freed Americans to celebrate
their birthdays,
Halloween, thanksgiving,
and if there's still work
to be done on evacuation day,
I can take up that fight
for another year or so.
I'd like a quiet death.
And then, as you promised...
I want to live forever.
♪ ♪
Mrs. Eisenhower died
peacefully in her sleep
here at Walter reed
at 1:35 a.M. This morning.
Doctors here at Walter reed
attribute death
to heart failure
and funeral arrangements
are incomplete at this time.
♪ ♪
what is it about the desert
that calls to people?
I have often wondered
the same thing.
The reason my species traveled
billions of miles to live here
is because our planet looks
an awful lot like this--
barren, empty, full of death.
You certainly know
how to spoil a moment.
welcome to your new home.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ dream ♪
♪ when you're feeling blue ♪
♪ ♪
♪ dream ♪
♪ that's the thing to do ♪
♪ ♪
hello.
♪ just ♪
♪ watch the smoke rings rise ♪
♪ in the air ♪
♪ ♪
♪ you'll find your share ♪
well, I always said this
place needed a little color,
and the gods responded
with you.
Would you turn around for me,
sweetie?
Oh--
oh, please. It's so pretty.
♪ ♪
oh.
it's timeless.
Just like us, I guess.
I'm calico.
Oh.
It is an honor to meet
a real first lady.
I wasn't sure anyone
would recognize me.
Oh, I am your biggest fan.
Even when everyone around me
was always about Jackie.
I prefer the old school--
no offense.
And I also love birthdays,
and it seems like
we're going to be spending
quite a few of them together.
So we might as well be friends.
What do you say?
Tell me, do you like fudge?
More than life itself.
♪ ♪
what the fuck is happening?
Hey. Hey, what's going on?
What's with the alarms?
Hey, are we under attack?
Hey!
Did someone break out?
what are you doing in here?
These are my private quarters.
You're trudging dirt
all over my carpets.
And then you'll leave behind
whatever horrors
were stuck to the bottom
of your jackboots.
Young man.
Do not think you can invade
my personal space
and then retreat
without an explanation.
Ma'am, apologies, ma'am.
There's been
an unauthorized death.
What?
Someone's been murdered?
who?
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
this is...Excessive.
That thing was eating Ronnie.
Who's Ronnie?
The one with his face
eaten off.
What did you expect me to do?
Kill Ronnie.
Secure the child.
That thing ain't a child.
We haven't seen this type of
anomaly in at least two cycles.
bring the child to the lab.
We must understand
why this subject regressed.
It's always darkest
before the dawn.
it's a thing we say.
On earth.
♪ ♪
why is b team here?
They've been promoted.
Wait, no, no--
♪ ♪
all subjects please report
to the cafeteria
for an assessment.
Nutritional supplements and
beverages will be provided.
wait, maybe we shouldn't go.
Why do you keep pretending
that we have any choices
in here?
We need to see how
cal and troy are, anyway.
♪ ♪
come on.
♪ ♪
where are the guys?
Oh, there's our attendant.
The attendant's
not gonna tell us anything.
Maybe she will.
Oh, hey, kittens.
Hell of a shindig, huh?
You know what's going on?
Oh, someone must have tried
to make a run for it.
Does that happen a lot?
Breakouts?
Mm, every once in a while.
The last one was back in '92
I think.
No, no, it was '82.
I still don't see
cal or troy.
Maybe it was them.
Maybe they got out.
Oh, honey,
I thought you understood.
We're trapped here.
We're like rats in a maze.
There is no out.
I know somewhere
they might be.
I mean, there is one place.
cal?
Troy?
I can't believe we didn't
really go to the moon.
You were right, Kendall.
I can't believe we traded
the best parts of being human--
our freedom, curiosity,
our need to explore--
all for microchip technology
and the ability to send memes
around the world.
What a sad race
we turned out to be.
Cal?
Troy?
What is that?
♪ ♪
oh, god.
♪ ♪
oh, my god.
Oh, my god.
I told you, Kendall,
there's no hope.
you're wrong, child.
hope is close.
♪ ♪
it's always darkest
before the dawn.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
stay with me, Jamie.
Remember? Like calico said?
We get these things out of us.
We get our bodies back.
We'll find a way out of here.
I swear.
We'll tell the world all about
what's happening here.
Kendall, I'm so scared.
♪ ♪
help me.
cherish these next moments.
The baby is coming.
It is nearly over.
Jamie.
I'm here.
The specimen that arrived
before this one
was the closest we've come
to perfection in 60 years.
One of you is about to deliver
us all from the darkness.
Be brave. Be proud.
Jamie.
Get it out.
please, don't kill it.
Please let me see my baby.
Please.
please, please.
no!
♪ ♪
no!
kill her.
What? No--
no, no, no, no!
no, no, no!
Jamie, no!
now, now.
There is no time or need
for grief.
Cherish these next moments.
Your friend's specimen
was even closer.
The time has come.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
this child is creation.
The perfect specimen.
Our future.
This planet is finally
our home.
♪ ♪
the experiment is finally over.
We have done what we set out
to do.
♪ ♪
it's only a matter of time.
What did you say?
I said it's only
a matter of time.
Without us,
without conquest...
You'll get bored.
You'll get complacent and lazy.
Heavy is the head
that wears the crown.
Well, you won't need that
heavy head any longer.
We'll take it from here.
♪ ♪
preserve this vessel.
It's the perfect
breeding machine.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ happy birthday dear mamie ♪
♪ happy birthday to you ♪
yay!
make a wish!
Thank you, calico.
Very thoughtful.
Oh, well,
the excitement in your voice
could fill up the room.
I nearly had to sell my body
to get the staff
to make that for you.
That could have been a candle
sticking out
of a nutrient cube.
I appreciate it.
I really do.
After all these years
down here,
you're my only real friend,
and I cherish that
more than anything.
Why do I feel like
you shouldn't
go near anything sharp?
Birthdays give me the blues
now.
I don't know why.
But the worst part
about birthdays
was the getting older part,
and now you're past that.
Maybe that's why.
You know, sometimes I don't
understand you at all.
This is one of those times.
I was an authority
on birthdays.
I was the one--
yes, who made it so adults
could celebrate
birthdays and Halloween
and thanksgiving.
I know.
I told you that before.
So many times it is encoded
into my DNA.
I mean, I guess
when you live forever,
you run out of stories.
We shouldn't be, though.
We should be making
new stories.
How can we do that down here?
I mean, this is not
a way to live.
We've done it.
oh, we finally did it!
What's going on?
Excuse me, hi.
Did someone win the lottery?
we've done it.
The first hybrid was just born.
Everything has just changed.
♪ ♪
I just wanna know
if it's true.
Don't I deserve to know?
At 01200 hours,
the first successful hybrid
was born.
60 years of hard work
have finally paid off.
So what happens now?
Now we produce
as many as we can
as quickly as possible.
We will also need to clone
the breeder.
One person cannot possibly
produce enough thetan hybrids
to populate this world.
Populate?
This world's already populated.
I thought the goal was to keep
from going extinct.
And the best way
to accomplish that
is to have a world of our own.
Without humans.
without humans?
♪ ♪
if you had
a prize rose garden,
and the gardener let all
of your roses wither and die,
what would you do to him?
Fire him.
Earth is the garden.
Humanity is the gardener.
We're firing you.
So what happens to us?
♪ ♪
them, I mean.
Rest assured,
certain people will be spared,
including yourself,
in honor of everything you have
done for my species.
ah.
You feel like a traitor
to your kind.
I understand, but you mustn't
think of it that way.
History is written
by the victors.
You will be remembered as one
of the few good humans
who understood
the limitations of your kind.
Who could see the future.
Oh, Ike.
As will he.
The two saviors
of planet earth.
He wouldn't want that.
He was right about you.
He tried to warn me
that you couldn't be trusted.
If it makes you
feel any better,
it wouldn't have mattered
if you believed him.
Nothing would have changed.
he said there was
another race,
another group of aliens.
Like reptiles.
Yes,
he was right about that too.
♪ ♪
are you going to
destroy them?
I said that we cannot share
this planet with humans,
but we will share it with them.
They may be cold blooded
and hideous,
but they have qualities
that we admire
and technology that we need.
♪ ♪
your species has neither.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
this is ridiculous.
Don't you know who I am?
My husband was president
Dwight d. Eisenhower.
Did we elect a new president?
No, asshole, he was
the president a long time ago.
Was he the one
on the $20 bill?
If it weren't for the treaty
my husband signed,
none of this would be poss--
she's right.
We owe your husband everything,
Mrs. Eisenhower.
I admired him very much.
My name is theta.
What can we do for you?
I want to see what my husband
helped accomplish.
He never got the chance.
I think it's only right
that I do.
♪ ♪
at ease.
♪ ♪
it's not what you imagined?
♪ ♪
I didn't expect it to be...
Beautiful.
That's a mother talking.
In a way,
you're as much a mother
as the one who bore it.
it takes some
getting used to.
It's best not to think of it
as a person and more as--
livestock.
I was going to say a machine.
Wonderful piece of technology
that's going to save the world.
Humans are not machines.
We are not technology
to be used against our will.
Who runs your world now,
mamie?
The people or the machines?
Which would last longer
if the other
suddenly disappeared?
You say you admire
my husband.
Then you must know he would
never have wanted this.
He never would have sanctioned
the end of the human race.
Who said anything about ending
the human race?
♪ ♪
you don't know?
You haven't been told the plan?
They're going to kill everyone
and take the planet
for themselves.
they're gonna kill us?
All of us?
Well, obviously not me.
But yes, everyone else.
They have their prize calf.
No need for the rest
of the herd.
Did you see it?
The calf?
What did it look like?
Human.
Disturbingly so.
And what they did
to that poor girl
who gave birth to it.
Oh, calico,
you wouldn't believe it.
Well, I guess you'll finally
have a new story after all.
Yes.
But what if this one
had a twist
they didn't see coming?
♪ ♪
what if we fought back?
Look, I am no mathematician,
but I do know a little
something about gambling.
And you plus me versus them?
That would be
like a pair of deuces
versus a royal flush
and the royal flush
has an army with guns.
We don't have to worry
about all of them.
Just two--
the baby and its mother.
Think about it.
They've been trying
for 60 years
to perfect their hybrid.
If we destroyed it
and the body that birthed it,
they'd have to start over.
I'm not saying we'd get
another 60 years,
but maybe just some time
for humanity to wake up
and save itself.
No, no, no,
there is no way they would ever
let us get close enough
to pull that off.
What if we had somebody
to help us?
on the inside.
♪ ♪
another baby? This soon?
We shortened
the gestation process.
You can't populate
an entire planet
if you need to wait days
for every birth.
We should have
the process accelerated
to a new child every hour or so
by next week.
Oh, honey.
So, is this all of you?
No more soldiers
in your rebellion?
We thought it best
to keep the circle small.
You never really know
who you can trust.
You sure you want to take
this next step?
They'll surely kill us all
afterward.
mamie.
It's what needs to be done.
It's just a baby.
Would you take the chance
to kill Hitler
if he were just a baby?
Stalin?
An immoral act becomes moral
when it's done in the service
of all humanity.
This is what's right.
Why do you get to decide
what's right?
Because
I'm mamie goddamn Eisenhower.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
you lied.
You thought you could
manipulate me?
appeal to my so-called
human side?
As if I had not seen
the horrors
humanity has wrought.
♪ ♪
my humanity
is my greatest shame.
I will not help those who have
destroyed this planet
and its natural resources.
Humans are hypocrites.
Even if we wanted to live
side by side with you,
we couldn't.
Because you're too selfish
to share.
♪ ♪
you won't even open your doors
to your own kind
in their moment of need.
Why would we think
you would welcome us?
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
it's our turn now.
♪ ♪
our people
will restore balance.
Create a new world.
♪ ♪
humanity's had its chance.
calico.
♪ ♪
calico, help me.
She made her choice.
♪ ♪
it's your turn now.
No, I don't--
the children need a mother
to nurture them.
After all these years,
all those losses...
This is your reward.
♪ ♪
help me.
Help, help me.
♪ ♪
she's right.
About people.
I have seen them
at their worst,
and I've need them
at their best.
and I think maybe it's time
we step aside
and give someone else a chance.
I'm sorry.
Goodbye, Mrs. Eisenhower.
♪ ♪
come.
it's time for another birth.
You'll assist me.
♪ ♪
I've never seen it
from this side.
oh.
♪ ♪
another perfect specimen.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
We don't want no fucking war!
One, two, three four!
We don't want no fucking war!
There are people out there
holding signs with--
with my name on them.
only where the x should be,
there's a swastika.
A goddamn swastika!
Mr. President,
when we discussed
how this was going to play out,
it was clear
that you were going
to take some lumps.
lumps?
Those people want my head.
They want to burn down
the white house
with me inside it!
We need to stop
this goddamn war.
The war is performing
a very important function.
It's destroying
my presidency.
I have to agree, Mr. Thor.
I can't see
what we're accomplishing.
When you were little
and you needed to get a needle,
sometimes the doctor
would distract you.
He would show you a toy
and then while you were
playing with it,
he'd jab you.
If people are focused
on the war,
they won't be thinking about
all of the Americans
going missing.
A-and what about that?
Well, this little program
of yours
has been going on
for years now.
We all understood
that the creation
of an alien-human hybrid
was a complex task
requiring generations
of experimentation.
How much more time
do you need?
We are projecting that
the first functioning hybrid
will be born
in approximately 2021.
That's 50 fucking years
from now!
Mr. Thor, the Vietnam war
will never last 50 years.
Of course it won't.
Which is why we have a full
menu of distractions prepared.
You think I'm gonna sacrifice
my entire career
for one of your little
distractions?
Just consider this...
distractions can come
in many forms.
Good night, Mr. President.
♪ ♪
did that pansy-ass martian
just--
just threaten me?
♪ ♪
Henry.
Sorry, Mr. President.
Must be my allergies.
It's all right, Henry.
Go take care of it.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
a small group of yippies
seeking a confrontation
marched at night on
the south Vietnamese embassy.
Washington police used
tear gas to drive them away.
Arrests were made.
President Nixon then replied
to protestors' demands
for an immediate end--
I'm not sure what's worse,
allowing Americans to be
experimented on
by creatures from outer space
or paving the way
for that man's presidency.
Oh, dick's not so bad.
You mean as far as
paranoid alcoholics go?
They're in control.
All this--it's them.
They're running the war because
I gave them the power to do it.
This is doing you no good.
The doctor told you
to avoid stress.
turn it back on.
Oh, Ike.
Mercy sakes alive.
there.
Right there, you see that?
What?
His pupils.
For a second, he looks like a--
like a reptile.
A reptile?
Okay, Mr. Eisenhower,
that is what is known
as the camel's back.
Mamie, listen.
Valiant Thor and his people
aren't the only ones here.
There's another group.
They live among us.
They look like us,
they're just really just--
where in this earthful world
did you come up
with this notion?
One of the people
that valiant Thor abducted
turned out to be
one of these things.
They disposed of the body
because they didn't want us
to know that
they had competition,
but we do know.
I see them everywhere.
Well, I've had enough
of this conversation.
I'm in too good a mood to let
you give me the polly pouts.
Thanks to me, Americans
are celebrating birthdays,
Halloween, thanksgiving,
and I am not going
to stop there.
I am going to bring back
a holiday
that everyone has forgotten.
Huh.
♪ ♪
"happy ed."
no, silly, evacuation day.
Even you don't remember it.
It's the day the British
evacuated Boston,
and they still celebrate it
in Massachusetts.
When I'm done with it,
it'll be nationwide,
oh, I can see it.
Evacuation day parades
across the country.
It'll be like
the fourth of July.
I'm not so sure
that one's gonna take.
♪ ♪
mm, speaking of evacuation--
♪ ♪
I don't want to feel better.
I don't deserve to feel better.
I'm getting tired
of this sad sack routine,
Mr. Eisenhower.
♪ ♪
oh, thank god you're here.
I am simply at my wit's end
with this man.
What the hell
are you doing here?
Get out.
This is not necessary,
Mr. President.
We can take you to area 51.
You don't need to die.
I died the day I signed
that damn document.
This is just a formality.
♪ ♪
regardless of what you think
of us,
we still hold you
in the highest esteem.
You are helping
to save our kind.
All I care about is our kind.
After all this time,
you still do not trust us?
I'm old...
I'm not stupid.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
you two deserve each other.
♪ ♪
that isn't happening to me.
Do you understand that?
Area 51, hell's half acre,
Timbuktu,
I don't care.
As long as I don't end up
like that.
yeah?
Gordon Liddy, sir,
reporting as you ordered.
Oh.
Gordon, shut the door.
Come in and, uh, sit down.
Well, Gordon, uh...
they...Want to kill me.
that's what this is about.
The powers that be.
♪ ♪
you know who I mean?
I think so, yes.
You see, they think
that I'm coming apart
because of the protests
and the war--
the war
that those bastards want.
You see, they wanted me
in the white house,
and now I know why.
Not just because
I was gonna play ball.
No, no, that's not it.
You see...
I was to be the ringleader
of the circus
when the tent caught fire.
Well, I am not burning up
with those fucking clowns.
♪ ♪
now, this valiant Thor,
he has an office at Watergate
and I--
I want it bugged.
I wanna hear everything
that they've got planned.
Every line
on the goddamn calendar.
Comprende?
I won't let you down, sir.
you'll be the first.
♪ ♪
I got your message.
I'm frankly surprised you
wanted to talk to me
about Watergate.
You're one of the last people
I imagined would know anything.
I know everything.
♪ ♪
but before I say anything,
we're agreed you're never
to mention my name?
♪ ♪
to you, I'm just...
Deep throat.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
not at all.
It's from that filthy movie.
I figured it's the last name
anyone would ever believe
I'd take.
You are a very smart lady.
Not as smart as I'd like,
it seems.
And why do you say that?
It's almost March,
and there's not one mention
of evacuation day anywhere.
I can't believe my husband
was right.
Anyhow, I've had three meetings
with that--
that fool of a reporter,
and he's buying everything.
He thinks the burglars
were after the democrats,
not you.
I can't tell you
how grateful I am.
I was very worried
about the president.
Wouldn't it be simpler
just to kill him?
Too many politicians
have died
in mysterious circumstances.
This is much more effective.
But even if he were
to resign,
what's to keep him from talking
and revealing everything?
we are prepared to remind him
who's running this show.
♪ ♪
I have come to thee
for refuge.
Teach me to do thy will,
for thou art my god.
Deliver me from troubles
and cut off my enemies
and destroy my adversaries
for I am...
I am thy servant, god.
god.
What am I gonna do?
Everybody wants me to resign.
What should I do?
Mr. President,
resignation is the only
correct move left to you.
Do you really think so?
I'm certain of it.
But it doesn't mean
your enemies
will have the last word
on your legacy.
History will judge you
much better
than your contemporaries.
History...
Will have a lot to say
about me,
because I will have a lot
to say about history.
Recent fucking history.
You can be sure that I--
if you'll excuse me,
Mr. President, I'd like
to speak with my staff.
They are anxious to know
what's happening.
It's going to be all right,
Mr. President.
You're a good man, Henry.
Thank you, sir.
recent fucking history.
Recent fucking history.
fuck it.
I'm not gonna resign.
They want a trial?
I'll give them a trial.
let 'em put me
on the goddamn stand--
♪ ♪
Jesus Christ.
Stay back!
You can't do this to me!
No, please, stop!
Anything but that!
Please, please not that!
stop!
Therefore,
I shall resign the presidency
effective at noon tomorrow.
Vice president ford will be
sworn in as president
at that hour in this office.
As I recall--
I don't even wanna know
what you did to get him
to play ball.
Yes, it's quite amazing
the reaction some humans have
to a simple medical procedure.
Well, he got the message,
all right.
And I have to say,
I think his speech
is rather dignified.
Considering I wrote it
for him,
I have to agree.
♪ ♪
it's almost time for another
dignified exit from the stage.
Do you mean it?
Yes.
♪ ♪
I've had a good run.
I've accomplished more
than anyone could ever dream.
I got the world to appreciate
the color pink.
I freed Americans to celebrate
their birthdays,
Halloween, thanksgiving,
and if there's still work
to be done on evacuation day,
I can take up that fight
for another year or so.
I'd like a quiet death.
And then, as you promised...
I want to live forever.
♪ ♪
Mrs. Eisenhower died
peacefully in her sleep
here at Walter reed
at 1:35 a.M. This morning.
Doctors here at Walter reed
attribute death
to heart failure
and funeral arrangements
are incomplete at this time.
♪ ♪
what is it about the desert
that calls to people?
I have often wondered
the same thing.
The reason my species traveled
billions of miles to live here
is because our planet looks
an awful lot like this--
barren, empty, full of death.
You certainly know
how to spoil a moment.
welcome to your new home.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ dream ♪
♪ when you're feeling blue ♪
♪ ♪
♪ dream ♪
♪ that's the thing to do ♪
♪ ♪
hello.
♪ just ♪
♪ watch the smoke rings rise ♪
♪ in the air ♪
♪ ♪
♪ you'll find your share ♪
well, I always said this
place needed a little color,
and the gods responded
with you.
Would you turn around for me,
sweetie?
Oh--
oh, please. It's so pretty.
♪ ♪
oh.
it's timeless.
Just like us, I guess.
I'm calico.
Oh.
It is an honor to meet
a real first lady.
I wasn't sure anyone
would recognize me.
Oh, I am your biggest fan.
Even when everyone around me
was always about Jackie.
I prefer the old school--
no offense.
And I also love birthdays,
and it seems like
we're going to be spending
quite a few of them together.
So we might as well be friends.
What do you say?
Tell me, do you like fudge?
More than life itself.
♪ ♪
what the fuck is happening?
Hey. Hey, what's going on?
What's with the alarms?
Hey, are we under attack?
Hey!
Did someone break out?
what are you doing in here?
These are my private quarters.
You're trudging dirt
all over my carpets.
And then you'll leave behind
whatever horrors
were stuck to the bottom
of your jackboots.
Young man.
Do not think you can invade
my personal space
and then retreat
without an explanation.
Ma'am, apologies, ma'am.
There's been
an unauthorized death.
What?
Someone's been murdered?
who?
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
this is...Excessive.
That thing was eating Ronnie.
Who's Ronnie?
The one with his face
eaten off.
What did you expect me to do?
Kill Ronnie.
Secure the child.
That thing ain't a child.
We haven't seen this type of
anomaly in at least two cycles.
bring the child to the lab.
We must understand
why this subject regressed.
It's always darkest
before the dawn.
it's a thing we say.
On earth.
♪ ♪
why is b team here?
They've been promoted.
Wait, no, no--
♪ ♪
all subjects please report
to the cafeteria
for an assessment.
Nutritional supplements and
beverages will be provided.
wait, maybe we shouldn't go.
Why do you keep pretending
that we have any choices
in here?
We need to see how
cal and troy are, anyway.
♪ ♪
come on.
♪ ♪
where are the guys?
Oh, there's our attendant.
The attendant's
not gonna tell us anything.
Maybe she will.
Oh, hey, kittens.
Hell of a shindig, huh?
You know what's going on?
Oh, someone must have tried
to make a run for it.
Does that happen a lot?
Breakouts?
Mm, every once in a while.
The last one was back in '92
I think.
No, no, it was '82.
I still don't see
cal or troy.
Maybe it was them.
Maybe they got out.
Oh, honey,
I thought you understood.
We're trapped here.
We're like rats in a maze.
There is no out.
I know somewhere
they might be.
I mean, there is one place.
cal?
Troy?
I can't believe we didn't
really go to the moon.
You were right, Kendall.
I can't believe we traded
the best parts of being human--
our freedom, curiosity,
our need to explore--
all for microchip technology
and the ability to send memes
around the world.
What a sad race
we turned out to be.
Cal?
Troy?
What is that?
♪ ♪
oh, god.
♪ ♪
oh, my god.
Oh, my god.
I told you, Kendall,
there's no hope.
you're wrong, child.
hope is close.
♪ ♪
it's always darkest
before the dawn.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
stay with me, Jamie.
Remember? Like calico said?
We get these things out of us.
We get our bodies back.
We'll find a way out of here.
I swear.
We'll tell the world all about
what's happening here.
Kendall, I'm so scared.
♪ ♪
help me.
cherish these next moments.
The baby is coming.
It is nearly over.
Jamie.
I'm here.
The specimen that arrived
before this one
was the closest we've come
to perfection in 60 years.
One of you is about to deliver
us all from the darkness.
Be brave. Be proud.
Jamie.
Get it out.
please, don't kill it.
Please let me see my baby.
Please.
please, please.
no!
♪ ♪
no!
kill her.
What? No--
no, no, no, no!
no, no, no!
Jamie, no!
now, now.
There is no time or need
for grief.
Cherish these next moments.
Your friend's specimen
was even closer.
The time has come.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
this child is creation.
The perfect specimen.
Our future.
This planet is finally
our home.
♪ ♪
the experiment is finally over.
We have done what we set out
to do.
♪ ♪
it's only a matter of time.
What did you say?
I said it's only
a matter of time.
Without us,
without conquest...
You'll get bored.
You'll get complacent and lazy.
Heavy is the head
that wears the crown.
Well, you won't need that
heavy head any longer.
We'll take it from here.
♪ ♪
preserve this vessel.
It's the perfect
breeding machine.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ happy birthday dear mamie ♪
♪ happy birthday to you ♪
yay!
make a wish!
Thank you, calico.
Very thoughtful.
Oh, well,
the excitement in your voice
could fill up the room.
I nearly had to sell my body
to get the staff
to make that for you.
That could have been a candle
sticking out
of a nutrient cube.
I appreciate it.
I really do.
After all these years
down here,
you're my only real friend,
and I cherish that
more than anything.
Why do I feel like
you shouldn't
go near anything sharp?
Birthdays give me the blues
now.
I don't know why.
But the worst part
about birthdays
was the getting older part,
and now you're past that.
Maybe that's why.
You know, sometimes I don't
understand you at all.
This is one of those times.
I was an authority
on birthdays.
I was the one--
yes, who made it so adults
could celebrate
birthdays and Halloween
and thanksgiving.
I know.
I told you that before.
So many times it is encoded
into my DNA.
I mean, I guess
when you live forever,
you run out of stories.
We shouldn't be, though.
We should be making
new stories.
How can we do that down here?
I mean, this is not
a way to live.
We've done it.
oh, we finally did it!
What's going on?
Excuse me, hi.
Did someone win the lottery?
we've done it.
The first hybrid was just born.
Everything has just changed.
♪ ♪
I just wanna know
if it's true.
Don't I deserve to know?
At 01200 hours,
the first successful hybrid
was born.
60 years of hard work
have finally paid off.
So what happens now?
Now we produce
as many as we can
as quickly as possible.
We will also need to clone
the breeder.
One person cannot possibly
produce enough thetan hybrids
to populate this world.
Populate?
This world's already populated.
I thought the goal was to keep
from going extinct.
And the best way
to accomplish that
is to have a world of our own.
Without humans.
without humans?
♪ ♪
if you had
a prize rose garden,
and the gardener let all
of your roses wither and die,
what would you do to him?
Fire him.
Earth is the garden.
Humanity is the gardener.
We're firing you.
So what happens to us?
♪ ♪
them, I mean.
Rest assured,
certain people will be spared,
including yourself,
in honor of everything you have
done for my species.
ah.
You feel like a traitor
to your kind.
I understand, but you mustn't
think of it that way.
History is written
by the victors.
You will be remembered as one
of the few good humans
who understood
the limitations of your kind.
Who could see the future.
Oh, Ike.
As will he.
The two saviors
of planet earth.
He wouldn't want that.
He was right about you.
He tried to warn me
that you couldn't be trusted.
If it makes you
feel any better,
it wouldn't have mattered
if you believed him.
Nothing would have changed.
he said there was
another race,
another group of aliens.
Like reptiles.
Yes,
he was right about that too.
♪ ♪
are you going to
destroy them?
I said that we cannot share
this planet with humans,
but we will share it with them.
They may be cold blooded
and hideous,
but they have qualities
that we admire
and technology that we need.
♪ ♪
your species has neither.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
this is ridiculous.
Don't you know who I am?
My husband was president
Dwight d. Eisenhower.
Did we elect a new president?
No, asshole, he was
the president a long time ago.
Was he the one
on the $20 bill?
If it weren't for the treaty
my husband signed,
none of this would be poss--
she's right.
We owe your husband everything,
Mrs. Eisenhower.
I admired him very much.
My name is theta.
What can we do for you?
I want to see what my husband
helped accomplish.
He never got the chance.
I think it's only right
that I do.
♪ ♪
at ease.
♪ ♪
it's not what you imagined?
♪ ♪
I didn't expect it to be...
Beautiful.
That's a mother talking.
In a way,
you're as much a mother
as the one who bore it.
it takes some
getting used to.
It's best not to think of it
as a person and more as--
livestock.
I was going to say a machine.
Wonderful piece of technology
that's going to save the world.
Humans are not machines.
We are not technology
to be used against our will.
Who runs your world now,
mamie?
The people or the machines?
Which would last longer
if the other
suddenly disappeared?
You say you admire
my husband.
Then you must know he would
never have wanted this.
He never would have sanctioned
the end of the human race.
Who said anything about ending
the human race?
♪ ♪
you don't know?
You haven't been told the plan?
They're going to kill everyone
and take the planet
for themselves.
they're gonna kill us?
All of us?
Well, obviously not me.
But yes, everyone else.
They have their prize calf.
No need for the rest
of the herd.
Did you see it?
The calf?
What did it look like?
Human.
Disturbingly so.
And what they did
to that poor girl
who gave birth to it.
Oh, calico,
you wouldn't believe it.
Well, I guess you'll finally
have a new story after all.
Yes.
But what if this one
had a twist
they didn't see coming?
♪ ♪
what if we fought back?
Look, I am no mathematician,
but I do know a little
something about gambling.
And you plus me versus them?
That would be
like a pair of deuces
versus a royal flush
and the royal flush
has an army with guns.
We don't have to worry
about all of them.
Just two--
the baby and its mother.
Think about it.
They've been trying
for 60 years
to perfect their hybrid.
If we destroyed it
and the body that birthed it,
they'd have to start over.
I'm not saying we'd get
another 60 years,
but maybe just some time
for humanity to wake up
and save itself.
No, no, no,
there is no way they would ever
let us get close enough
to pull that off.
What if we had somebody
to help us?
on the inside.
♪ ♪
another baby? This soon?
We shortened
the gestation process.
You can't populate
an entire planet
if you need to wait days
for every birth.
We should have
the process accelerated
to a new child every hour or so
by next week.
Oh, honey.
So, is this all of you?
No more soldiers
in your rebellion?
We thought it best
to keep the circle small.
You never really know
who you can trust.
You sure you want to take
this next step?
They'll surely kill us all
afterward.
mamie.
It's what needs to be done.
It's just a baby.
Would you take the chance
to kill Hitler
if he were just a baby?
Stalin?
An immoral act becomes moral
when it's done in the service
of all humanity.
This is what's right.
Why do you get to decide
what's right?
Because
I'm mamie goddamn Eisenhower.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
you lied.
You thought you could
manipulate me?
appeal to my so-called
human side?
As if I had not seen
the horrors
humanity has wrought.
♪ ♪
my humanity
is my greatest shame.
I will not help those who have
destroyed this planet
and its natural resources.
Humans are hypocrites.
Even if we wanted to live
side by side with you,
we couldn't.
Because you're too selfish
to share.
♪ ♪
you won't even open your doors
to your own kind
in their moment of need.
Why would we think
you would welcome us?
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
it's our turn now.
♪ ♪
our people
will restore balance.
Create a new world.
♪ ♪
humanity's had its chance.
calico.
♪ ♪
calico, help me.
She made her choice.
♪ ♪
it's your turn now.
No, I don't--
the children need a mother
to nurture them.
After all these years,
all those losses...
This is your reward.
♪ ♪
help me.
Help, help me.
♪ ♪
she's right.
About people.
I have seen them
at their worst,
and I've need them
at their best.
and I think maybe it's time
we step aside
and give someone else a chance.
I'm sorry.
Goodbye, Mrs. Eisenhower.
♪ ♪
come.
it's time for another birth.
You'll assist me.
♪ ♪
I've never seen it
from this side.
oh.
♪ ♪
another perfect specimen.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪