American Gods (2017–…): Season 3, Episode 9 - The Lake Effect - full transcript
Find Bilquis.
She fucked me up.
Make her fix me.
Go into the hoard.
You get the spear.
You bring it back to me.
Wish me luck.
I couldn't help
overhearing you
asking about Derek.
Derek's a troubled kid.
Not a bad kid, mind you.
You know, this goes
a lot better for you, Derek,
if you just tell me
what happened to Alison.
No, I had nothing to do
with this Alison shit.
You've always wanted
a normal life.
Now you can have it.
Your obligation
to me
has been fulfilled.
I'm proud of the man
you've become.
The fuck?
That's Gungnir,
Odin's spear.
What do you really plan
to do with that?
I'm gonna kill Wednesday.
Lakeside, Wisconsin, please.
Make it Jacksonville.
Put yourself back in charge
so you can become
your best you.
How?
With SHARD.
Coming soon, a future that
puts its faith in you.
Fuck!
- SHARD...
- Fucking hell!
They're calling it
the most downloaded,
highest-trending
media push ever released.
Totally crashed
the Internet this week.
Uh, Instagram,
Twitter, Facebook.
Apparently, it's working.
Nine million subscriptions
on Day 1. Nine, people.
And I've never heard of
anything like this before.
They're calling
it a state-of-the-art
life management system.
Yeah, but can it
find me a woman
who wants me for
my mind? Come on.
...spiritual needs.
♪ After all these years of loving you ♪
Coming soon. A future
that puts its faith in you.
With SHARD.
Where the fuck
have you been?
And a very good morning
to you, fair Cordelia.
You totally dropped
off the grid.
Yeah, I know that's
what you do,
but you did it to me,
whose job it is
to know where
the fuck you are.
It's for your own good.
If you're hungry,
order to go.
We gotta be in Chicago
by tonight.
It's imperative.
Jesus, you look like shit.
When was the last time
you slept?
I'll sleep... when I'm dead.
*AMERICAN GODS*
Season 03 Episode 01
Episode Title: "WThe Lake Effect"
Aired on: March 14, 2021
♪ Down in Caroline ♪
Heads or tails?
Cut it out.
I think you would
have said... tails.
So I'm gonna say heads.
Oh, oh, oh.
I'm very happy for you
with your lucky powers or whatever...
Mm, you're not.
But go on.
But I have much more
important shit to think about
than what you plan to do
with my fucking coin.
You do have a plan
for that, I assume?
Stabbing a god?
Yup. Get spear,
shank shithead.
Pull off at the next exit.
Why?
So we can find a place
for me to teach you
how to use the fucking spear.
This is the god-killer.
And it doesn't exactly come
with an instruction manual.
You want me
to teach you or not?
Oh, hi, Mike!
Starting to feel
like summer, isn't it?
Yeah.
How you doing, Mike?
It's been awhile.
Mike.
Hey. I was hoping
we could talk.
I, uh...
I got a call.
Uh, something happened.
He was such a good boy.
You'll be the first person I talk to.
Just... give me some time
to sort this out.
Of course.
You okay?
Not really.
It doesn't make any sense.
He was doing good in therapy.
Hadn't missed a day
of school or work.
Till today.
Chief. Need you
to see something.
Alison McGovern's coat, chief.
Found it in the back
of the kid's closet.
Well...
I've gotta go away
on an important business trip,
but, uh,
you're in good hands.
When I get back...
we'll go somewhere,
have some fun.
Just you and me.
Would you like that?
I wonder if you can help me.
About something called
Artifact Number 1.
Hey, you got a minute?
Not really.
Look, we really need
to talk about this.
I mean, I knew Derek.
In the way that everyone
here knows everyone,
which is not as well
as we think, it seems.
Look, I have to get back
to the office.
Maybe we'll see each other
later at the Ice Festival?
Shouldn't they postpone
that or something?
They floated cancelling it
at the emergency
city council meeting,
but as Hinzelmann made
everyone keenly aware,
the kids wait for this
all year, so...
Everyone's gonna put on
their brave face
and carry on like
everything's normal.
Wait. Derek, he...
He couldn't have killed Alison.
Something else is going on.
- Like what?
- I don't know.
I just don't think
it was Derek!
It just doesn't
make any sense!
Things just don't add up
with the kids in this town.
You got Derek, Alison.
Sandy.
What about Sandy?
I went to Florida
and I spoke to Darren.
You did what?
- I just thought that, that he...
- I can't believe you did this!
I only did it so that
you would have peace of mind
and you would know
how he was doing.
But Sandy never went
to live with his father.
I-I don't even think
he ran away.
And the only reason
he's not responding
to your messages and cards
is because he is missing.
Like Alison.
You deserve the truth.
The truth, whatever it is,
doesn't get me out of bed
in the morning.
It doesn't do my job.
It doesn't take Leon
to school
or hockey practice
or sleepovers!
So don't fucking preach to me
about the truth!
I just...
I'm trying to say...
You ready to try?
Yeah, I think I got it.
I've done my share
of pub crawls.
It's like a big dart.
That, um...
...is actually a very
good way to think about it.
Except this thing weighs
about as much as you.
Oh.
The first thing
you need to do
is find the balance point.
Don't manhandle it.
And back about
a hand's width.
Line up to the target.
Do you really have
to kill this dude?
Yes, I do.
Either I go out
trying to kill him,
or I die breaking my word
to the tech Nazis.
But with them it's not
just my life on the line,
cause I fucking dragged
Salim and Shadow's names
into it as well.
So, yeah, there's really
no rethinking things.
It's really not
your problem, though.
I mean,
if you leave now,
you can be at the craps tables
in Vegas by morning.
I can figure this out.
Take the coin
and you can't miss.
Don't fuck with me.
Take it.
It's a loan.
Oh, fuck me.
Votan, you know
that shit will kill you.
As there is no evening
star to greet me
with backhanded hospitality,
I let myself in,
sent my girl Friday
to the roof,
and told her that
there would be a goddess
who has a fondness
for kissing my employees.
Yeah, whatever, Votan.
I'm not in the mood.
I'm tired, I'm going to bed.
So, can we talk about
your war tomorrow morning?
Peace.
It's peace that
we need to talk about.
Peace?
My war campaign has been a dismal failure.
The New Gods won
before we started.
We have to face that.
Are you drunk?
I have never been more sober
in my life, old friend.
It's time.
You promised us a war!
There will never be peace,
not with them!
We have to fight!
Otherwise, we are forgotten.
We won't be forgotten.
The few that remain
will whisper our names.
Votan?
Fuck you.
Fuck me?
Fine.
We are the true gods, Votan.
There are many faithful
out there
who still believes in us.
Who will protect them, huh?
We can't even
protect ourselves.
I came here to ask you
to be my second
in peace talks.
Please?
The Votan I know
would never say "please".
What's the matter with you?
Have you lost your balls
somewhere out there?
♪ I know ♪
♪ You won't come back ♪
♪ And I know ♪
♪ That it might be my fault ♪
♪ And I've got a lot to ♪
I'm off to the store, Sandy.
Mom! I'm recording.
Oh, sorry.
Listen, don't forget;
You promised to pick up
Leon after practice, okay?
Hey, Chad!
Chad!
You got a minute?
We both looked Derek
in the eye.
He wasn't a killer.
This is a crime scene
now, Mike.
I'm gonna have to ask you
to step behind the perimeter.
Look, there is
something else going on.
Okay?
Something we can't see.
Alison was not
the only kid
to go missing
in this town.
What are you talkin' about?
I went to Florida,
went to check
on Sandy Olsen.
He wasn't there.
Are you a cop now?
Look, wherever
Sandy Olsen went,
it has got nothing
to do with Alison!
Now, I don't remember
the last time
there was a dead kid
in Lakeside,
but now I've got two
of 'em back to back!
What if it's three?
What if it's more?
A lot more.
I listened to you
about Derek,
and now we're
in this mess.
So, if you could
just please
get behind
the goddamn line.
Oh, my goodness!
Leon,
this is incredible.
Gosh, it took
me so long to make it.
Come here!
Like this part right here.
That part was crazy.
Mike, you look like a fly
fisher who's off the bite.
Yeah.
Just came from Derek's.
Oh, yes, so tragic.
No need to let
that sad affair
ruin our lovely festival.
I mean, have you ever seen
a more perfect bonfire?
Surviving winter
in Lakeside
is no small feat.
We aren't just celebrating
the end of winter.
We're celebrating
our good fortune.
Oh, Ann-Marie!
Olga!
The trunk.
No, no! Hey! Hey! Ah!
Well, thanks for
the fucking help.
Little bit distracted.
I only have to kill
a literal god tomorrow.
You'll be fine.
You have the coin.
Yeah, well, perfect plans
are not always perfect
where Wednesday
is involved, so...
Um, I might die tomorrow.
And I would really like to
feel something before I go.
I just wanna
feel... wanted?
I just wanna be, like,
pushed up against
a fucking wall
and feel somebody
wanting me.
Maybe for the last time, ever.
So, do you think maybe
you could help me out?
Actually, um...
I used to do this a lot.
I would find someone
to have sex with
when I was anxious
or... or bored.
And it's not...
It's not good.
Uh, we shouldn't...
We shouldn't do...
I'm sorry.
We should definitely
not do that.
Just as I was getting
used to the idea.
I mean, it's nothing
to do with you.
You're... you're fine.
I'm fine?
Yeah, you're fine.
You're...
fucking attractive.
Is that what
you want me to say?
You're very attractive.
It's... Now that I'm
alive again, I just...
I mean, the last time
that I had real,
like, actual
alive sex was...
...was Robbie.
That's not good.
And that's why we definitely
should not... not do that.
Does it matter
what I think?
I think what
you need is a plan
for what comes next.
When you're done
with Wednesday,
and you aren't dead.
When I was a kid, I, uh,
I used to sit in a pew
just like that.
And I would pray
for God to be real,
and magic,
and I would pray
that I was special.
And the thing about
all of that shit,
fuckin' religion,
fate, destiny, whatever,
is that it's not real
and it's actually
just a fucking cage.
It's, like, shackles.
And I just...
I just wanna be free.
Has anyone ever told you
that you're very cynical
and more than slightly
overdramatic?
And I'm not talking about destiny.
I meant you need a challenge.
Like bowling.
Like bowling?
Ugly shirts.
Greasy pizza.
Let's go tomorrow.
You're all wound up
about this one thing.
There has to be life after.
It doesn't have to be bowling.
We could get tattoos.
Or go skydiving.
Well, I've never
been skydiving.
Great.
You stick the All-Father
with the magic spear,
then I get my coin.
Then, we skydive.
Ha.
Okay, cool.
Let's do it.
♪ Time with my Rolex ♪
♪ Saving quarters
in my porch ♪
Honey?
You home?
Out here!
♪ And when she starts
to pout ♪
♪ I don't have to shout ♪
♪ She knows what I'm about ♪
There she is.
Someone's home early.
Right?
I let the new guy
close up.
It must be nice to have
another trainer help you.
Yeah. It's definitely
good for business.
And it gives me more time
to focus on
the important things.
Oh!
Oh, yeah.
♪ And when I come to bed ♪
No, no, no, no, no.
Don't move a muscle.
Let me get her.
♪ I was only having fun ♪
What are you doing?
♪ You fucked me
you ungrateful tart ♪
♪ After all I've
done for you ♪
♪ So what if you're a
little black and blue ♪
♪ I guess I just
love you too much ♪
I don't know what to do.
Why should I join you
in that endless eternity?
Huh?
Be with you forever.
I don't know.
What am I gonna do?
You want me to become
the Dark One
once again, huh?
Ah, Zorya.
Please talk to me.
I need you to guide me.
Zorya.
Zorya.
What the fuck?
Let him work it out.
Um, he's doing that?
Uh-huh.
You know, I'm sensing
a pattern here.
We drop in on
old friends of yours,
they hate your guts
and freak out.
You e-eat their food
and drink their booze
until they calm down.
You ever worried that
one day it won't work?
We leave in the morning.
After I wake up.
A big mistake people make with hypothermia
is wrapping a fellow
in blankets right away.
Especially in wet clothes.
A hot bath...
that's what sailors have done
for hundreds of years.
Come on.
Warms you up
from the inside.
Given how long
you were underwater,
you should be a dead man.
And your luck
doesn't stop there.
You won the clunker
competition!
7:25 pm.
Just like you guessed.
You must have some powerful
guardians looking after you.
You killed them.
All of 'em.
You put the clunker
on the ice every year.
You knew to frame Derek for
killing Alison because of me.
You have to understand,
they are a necessary sacrifice
in accordance
with Norse tradition.
Just one child
every few years to give
thousands of townsfolk
a lifetime of prosperity.
You know anyone here could
put the pieces together
if they wanted to.
But they don't.
They don't wanna
know the price.
And you don't have
to burden them with it.
The world is a dark
and dangerous place.
I provide shelter
from the storm.
Forget what you saw today.
You can have
a wonderful life here.
Safe and happy and loved.
I'm not gonna let you
just keep doing this.
I knew this would happen
the moment you arrived.
But I owed Wednesday a debt,
and he came to collect.
And you know your father.
Truly, I'm more of
a benevolent spirit.
But they made
sacrifices in my name,
and now, I have to deliver.
That's enough, Ann-Marie.
Stop!
Stop! Put your hands
behind your head!
Stop!
Jesus Christ.
What the...
I shot her.
What...
All cultures impose
their own meaning on the heavens.
Look at these stars, huh?
Probably the most famous stars
in the world.
You probably know
them as... what?
The Big Dipper.
Other cultures know
them as Ursa Major.
Others as Favdna's
Bow and Arrow.
Some as the Seven Gods.
Personally,
I prefer Odin's Wain.
Or do I?
The stars:
Frontier to the future
and map to the past.
That's why this is
a perfect place
to bring it all
to an end.
It's an end for you
and me too, kid.
All good things must, huh?
Are you gonna be able
to take care of
yourself without me?
You sure you've got that
the right way around?
Where can we hide
in the fair weather,
we orphans of the storm?
Evelyn Waugh.
Okay.
The assholes are here now.
I hear you've been
trying out a few new looks.
Well, variety
is the spice of life.
Well, I like the Savile Row
psycho look. It suits you.
I don't care
if you can make yourself
look like the fucking
Princess Anastasia.
Now, can we get this
the fuck over with?
Thank you for agreeing
to the meeting, Mr. World.
You must be very busy.
It was an
intriguing invitation.
I've come to a realization
that affects both of us.
War and bloodshed
do both of us harm.
We fight amongst ourselves,
we demean godhood itself.
But if we work together...
I'm sorry if there's been
a misunderstanding, but, uh,
we will dictate the terms.
Our offer to the Old Gods...
is their lives...
and freedom...
to disappear
in any corner of
America they choose.
That's an offer?
Here is the alternative.
SHARD.
We're on the cusp
of a new age,
wherein humanity
will forget the Old Gods!
And... and you'll all die.
Now, you can
accept my offer
and fade from existence
in peace.
Or we will systematically
hunt and kill
every one of you
that gets in our way.
You're not gonna
say anything?
Votan!
What are you afraid of?
I'm not afraid anymore,
Votan, no, no, no.
I will fight until
the bitter end.
With or without you.
And I will call upon
the Old Gods to join me.
Peace talks are over
for today.
Mr. Wednesday.
About two years ago,
around Christmas,
Darren called me...
...screaming
about visitation,
I was keeping
the kids from him,
when were they coming?
He was drunk, and uh...
I got mad,
and I told him
that he would
never see the kids.
Sandy heard everything.
So when he took off,
I just thought he went to go
live with his dad, but...
As time went on, I...
I chose to believe it.
I had to.
Where you headed?
I've got a friend
at the Journal-Sentinel
in Milwaukee, and, uh,
she's been trying
to convince me for years
to work for her, so...
You know, I like Milwaukee.
There's a great bookstore...
on the East Side, on...
on Murray.
Maybe...
if you ever find
yourself there...
Yeah.
Count on it.
My car is yours.
Just... keep it purple.
Hey, fucker!
She fucked me up.
Make her fix me.
Go into the hoard.
You get the spear.
You bring it back to me.
Wish me luck.
I couldn't help
overhearing you
asking about Derek.
Derek's a troubled kid.
Not a bad kid, mind you.
You know, this goes
a lot better for you, Derek,
if you just tell me
what happened to Alison.
No, I had nothing to do
with this Alison shit.
You've always wanted
a normal life.
Now you can have it.
Your obligation
to me
has been fulfilled.
I'm proud of the man
you've become.
The fuck?
That's Gungnir,
Odin's spear.
What do you really plan
to do with that?
I'm gonna kill Wednesday.
Lakeside, Wisconsin, please.
Make it Jacksonville.
Put yourself back in charge
so you can become
your best you.
How?
With SHARD.
Coming soon, a future that
puts its faith in you.
Fuck!
- SHARD...
- Fucking hell!
They're calling it
the most downloaded,
highest-trending
media push ever released.
Totally crashed
the Internet this week.
Uh, Instagram,
Twitter, Facebook.
Apparently, it's working.
Nine million subscriptions
on Day 1. Nine, people.
And I've never heard of
anything like this before.
They're calling
it a state-of-the-art
life management system.
Yeah, but can it
find me a woman
who wants me for
my mind? Come on.
...spiritual needs.
♪ After all these years of loving you ♪
Coming soon. A future
that puts its faith in you.
With SHARD.
Where the fuck
have you been?
And a very good morning
to you, fair Cordelia.
You totally dropped
off the grid.
Yeah, I know that's
what you do,
but you did it to me,
whose job it is
to know where
the fuck you are.
It's for your own good.
If you're hungry,
order to go.
We gotta be in Chicago
by tonight.
It's imperative.
Jesus, you look like shit.
When was the last time
you slept?
I'll sleep... when I'm dead.
*AMERICAN GODS*
Season 03 Episode 01
Episode Title: "WThe Lake Effect"
Aired on: March 14, 2021
♪ Down in Caroline ♪
Heads or tails?
Cut it out.
I think you would
have said... tails.
So I'm gonna say heads.
Oh, oh, oh.
I'm very happy for you
with your lucky powers or whatever...
Mm, you're not.
But go on.
But I have much more
important shit to think about
than what you plan to do
with my fucking coin.
You do have a plan
for that, I assume?
Stabbing a god?
Yup. Get spear,
shank shithead.
Pull off at the next exit.
Why?
So we can find a place
for me to teach you
how to use the fucking spear.
This is the god-killer.
And it doesn't exactly come
with an instruction manual.
You want me
to teach you or not?
Oh, hi, Mike!
Starting to feel
like summer, isn't it?
Yeah.
How you doing, Mike?
It's been awhile.
Mike.
Hey. I was hoping
we could talk.
I, uh...
I got a call.
Uh, something happened.
He was such a good boy.
You'll be the first person I talk to.
Just... give me some time
to sort this out.
Of course.
You okay?
Not really.
It doesn't make any sense.
He was doing good in therapy.
Hadn't missed a day
of school or work.
Till today.
Chief. Need you
to see something.
Alison McGovern's coat, chief.
Found it in the back
of the kid's closet.
Well...
I've gotta go away
on an important business trip,
but, uh,
you're in good hands.
When I get back...
we'll go somewhere,
have some fun.
Just you and me.
Would you like that?
I wonder if you can help me.
About something called
Artifact Number 1.
Hey, you got a minute?
Not really.
Look, we really need
to talk about this.
I mean, I knew Derek.
In the way that everyone
here knows everyone,
which is not as well
as we think, it seems.
Look, I have to get back
to the office.
Maybe we'll see each other
later at the Ice Festival?
Shouldn't they postpone
that or something?
They floated cancelling it
at the emergency
city council meeting,
but as Hinzelmann made
everyone keenly aware,
the kids wait for this
all year, so...
Everyone's gonna put on
their brave face
and carry on like
everything's normal.
Wait. Derek, he...
He couldn't have killed Alison.
Something else is going on.
- Like what?
- I don't know.
I just don't think
it was Derek!
It just doesn't
make any sense!
Things just don't add up
with the kids in this town.
You got Derek, Alison.
Sandy.
What about Sandy?
I went to Florida
and I spoke to Darren.
You did what?
- I just thought that, that he...
- I can't believe you did this!
I only did it so that
you would have peace of mind
and you would know
how he was doing.
But Sandy never went
to live with his father.
I-I don't even think
he ran away.
And the only reason
he's not responding
to your messages and cards
is because he is missing.
Like Alison.
You deserve the truth.
The truth, whatever it is,
doesn't get me out of bed
in the morning.
It doesn't do my job.
It doesn't take Leon
to school
or hockey practice
or sleepovers!
So don't fucking preach to me
about the truth!
I just...
I'm trying to say...
You ready to try?
Yeah, I think I got it.
I've done my share
of pub crawls.
It's like a big dart.
That, um...
...is actually a very
good way to think about it.
Except this thing weighs
about as much as you.
Oh.
The first thing
you need to do
is find the balance point.
Don't manhandle it.
And back about
a hand's width.
Line up to the target.
Do you really have
to kill this dude?
Yes, I do.
Either I go out
trying to kill him,
or I die breaking my word
to the tech Nazis.
But with them it's not
just my life on the line,
cause I fucking dragged
Salim and Shadow's names
into it as well.
So, yeah, there's really
no rethinking things.
It's really not
your problem, though.
I mean,
if you leave now,
you can be at the craps tables
in Vegas by morning.
I can figure this out.
Take the coin
and you can't miss.
Don't fuck with me.
Take it.
It's a loan.
Oh, fuck me.
Votan, you know
that shit will kill you.
As there is no evening
star to greet me
with backhanded hospitality,
I let myself in,
sent my girl Friday
to the roof,
and told her that
there would be a goddess
who has a fondness
for kissing my employees.
Yeah, whatever, Votan.
I'm not in the mood.
I'm tired, I'm going to bed.
So, can we talk about
your war tomorrow morning?
Peace.
It's peace that
we need to talk about.
Peace?
My war campaign has been a dismal failure.
The New Gods won
before we started.
We have to face that.
Are you drunk?
I have never been more sober
in my life, old friend.
It's time.
You promised us a war!
There will never be peace,
not with them!
We have to fight!
Otherwise, we are forgotten.
We won't be forgotten.
The few that remain
will whisper our names.
Votan?
Fuck you.
Fuck me?
Fine.
We are the true gods, Votan.
There are many faithful
out there
who still believes in us.
Who will protect them, huh?
We can't even
protect ourselves.
I came here to ask you
to be my second
in peace talks.
Please?
The Votan I know
would never say "please".
What's the matter with you?
Have you lost your balls
somewhere out there?
♪ I know ♪
♪ You won't come back ♪
♪ And I know ♪
♪ That it might be my fault ♪
♪ And I've got a lot to ♪
I'm off to the store, Sandy.
Mom! I'm recording.
Oh, sorry.
Listen, don't forget;
You promised to pick up
Leon after practice, okay?
Hey, Chad!
Chad!
You got a minute?
We both looked Derek
in the eye.
He wasn't a killer.
This is a crime scene
now, Mike.
I'm gonna have to ask you
to step behind the perimeter.
Look, there is
something else going on.
Okay?
Something we can't see.
Alison was not
the only kid
to go missing
in this town.
What are you talkin' about?
I went to Florida,
went to check
on Sandy Olsen.
He wasn't there.
Are you a cop now?
Look, wherever
Sandy Olsen went,
it has got nothing
to do with Alison!
Now, I don't remember
the last time
there was a dead kid
in Lakeside,
but now I've got two
of 'em back to back!
What if it's three?
What if it's more?
A lot more.
I listened to you
about Derek,
and now we're
in this mess.
So, if you could
just please
get behind
the goddamn line.
Oh, my goodness!
Leon,
this is incredible.
Gosh, it took
me so long to make it.
Come here!
Like this part right here.
That part was crazy.
Mike, you look like a fly
fisher who's off the bite.
Yeah.
Just came from Derek's.
Oh, yes, so tragic.
No need to let
that sad affair
ruin our lovely festival.
I mean, have you ever seen
a more perfect bonfire?
Surviving winter
in Lakeside
is no small feat.
We aren't just celebrating
the end of winter.
We're celebrating
our good fortune.
Oh, Ann-Marie!
Olga!
The trunk.
No, no! Hey! Hey! Ah!
Well, thanks for
the fucking help.
Little bit distracted.
I only have to kill
a literal god tomorrow.
You'll be fine.
You have the coin.
Yeah, well, perfect plans
are not always perfect
where Wednesday
is involved, so...
Um, I might die tomorrow.
And I would really like to
feel something before I go.
I just wanna
feel... wanted?
I just wanna be, like,
pushed up against
a fucking wall
and feel somebody
wanting me.
Maybe for the last time, ever.
So, do you think maybe
you could help me out?
Actually, um...
I used to do this a lot.
I would find someone
to have sex with
when I was anxious
or... or bored.
And it's not...
It's not good.
Uh, we shouldn't...
We shouldn't do...
I'm sorry.
We should definitely
not do that.
Just as I was getting
used to the idea.
I mean, it's nothing
to do with you.
You're... you're fine.
I'm fine?
Yeah, you're fine.
You're...
fucking attractive.
Is that what
you want me to say?
You're very attractive.
It's... Now that I'm
alive again, I just...
I mean, the last time
that I had real,
like, actual
alive sex was...
...was Robbie.
That's not good.
And that's why we definitely
should not... not do that.
Does it matter
what I think?
I think what
you need is a plan
for what comes next.
When you're done
with Wednesday,
and you aren't dead.
When I was a kid, I, uh,
I used to sit in a pew
just like that.
And I would pray
for God to be real,
and magic,
and I would pray
that I was special.
And the thing about
all of that shit,
fuckin' religion,
fate, destiny, whatever,
is that it's not real
and it's actually
just a fucking cage.
It's, like, shackles.
And I just...
I just wanna be free.
Has anyone ever told you
that you're very cynical
and more than slightly
overdramatic?
And I'm not talking about destiny.
I meant you need a challenge.
Like bowling.
Like bowling?
Ugly shirts.
Greasy pizza.
Let's go tomorrow.
You're all wound up
about this one thing.
There has to be life after.
It doesn't have to be bowling.
We could get tattoos.
Or go skydiving.
Well, I've never
been skydiving.
Great.
You stick the All-Father
with the magic spear,
then I get my coin.
Then, we skydive.
Ha.
Okay, cool.
Let's do it.
♪ Time with my Rolex ♪
♪ Saving quarters
in my porch ♪
Honey?
You home?
Out here!
♪ And when she starts
to pout ♪
♪ I don't have to shout ♪
♪ She knows what I'm about ♪
There she is.
Someone's home early.
Right?
I let the new guy
close up.
It must be nice to have
another trainer help you.
Yeah. It's definitely
good for business.
And it gives me more time
to focus on
the important things.
Oh!
Oh, yeah.
♪ And when I come to bed ♪
No, no, no, no, no.
Don't move a muscle.
Let me get her.
♪ I was only having fun ♪
What are you doing?
♪ You fucked me
you ungrateful tart ♪
♪ After all I've
done for you ♪
♪ So what if you're a
little black and blue ♪
♪ I guess I just
love you too much ♪
I don't know what to do.
Why should I join you
in that endless eternity?
Huh?
Be with you forever.
I don't know.
What am I gonna do?
You want me to become
the Dark One
once again, huh?
Ah, Zorya.
Please talk to me.
I need you to guide me.
Zorya.
Zorya.
What the fuck?
Let him work it out.
Um, he's doing that?
Uh-huh.
You know, I'm sensing
a pattern here.
We drop in on
old friends of yours,
they hate your guts
and freak out.
You e-eat their food
and drink their booze
until they calm down.
You ever worried that
one day it won't work?
We leave in the morning.
After I wake up.
A big mistake people make with hypothermia
is wrapping a fellow
in blankets right away.
Especially in wet clothes.
A hot bath...
that's what sailors have done
for hundreds of years.
Come on.
Warms you up
from the inside.
Given how long
you were underwater,
you should be a dead man.
And your luck
doesn't stop there.
You won the clunker
competition!
7:25 pm.
Just like you guessed.
You must have some powerful
guardians looking after you.
You killed them.
All of 'em.
You put the clunker
on the ice every year.
You knew to frame Derek for
killing Alison because of me.
You have to understand,
they are a necessary sacrifice
in accordance
with Norse tradition.
Just one child
every few years to give
thousands of townsfolk
a lifetime of prosperity.
You know anyone here could
put the pieces together
if they wanted to.
But they don't.
They don't wanna
know the price.
And you don't have
to burden them with it.
The world is a dark
and dangerous place.
I provide shelter
from the storm.
Forget what you saw today.
You can have
a wonderful life here.
Safe and happy and loved.
I'm not gonna let you
just keep doing this.
I knew this would happen
the moment you arrived.
But I owed Wednesday a debt,
and he came to collect.
And you know your father.
Truly, I'm more of
a benevolent spirit.
But they made
sacrifices in my name,
and now, I have to deliver.
That's enough, Ann-Marie.
Stop!
Stop! Put your hands
behind your head!
Stop!
Jesus Christ.
What the...
I shot her.
What...
All cultures impose
their own meaning on the heavens.
Look at these stars, huh?
Probably the most famous stars
in the world.
You probably know
them as... what?
The Big Dipper.
Other cultures know
them as Ursa Major.
Others as Favdna's
Bow and Arrow.
Some as the Seven Gods.
Personally,
I prefer Odin's Wain.
Or do I?
The stars:
Frontier to the future
and map to the past.
That's why this is
a perfect place
to bring it all
to an end.
It's an end for you
and me too, kid.
All good things must, huh?
Are you gonna be able
to take care of
yourself without me?
You sure you've got that
the right way around?
Where can we hide
in the fair weather,
we orphans of the storm?
Evelyn Waugh.
Okay.
The assholes are here now.
I hear you've been
trying out a few new looks.
Well, variety
is the spice of life.
Well, I like the Savile Row
psycho look. It suits you.
I don't care
if you can make yourself
look like the fucking
Princess Anastasia.
Now, can we get this
the fuck over with?
Thank you for agreeing
to the meeting, Mr. World.
You must be very busy.
It was an
intriguing invitation.
I've come to a realization
that affects both of us.
War and bloodshed
do both of us harm.
We fight amongst ourselves,
we demean godhood itself.
But if we work together...
I'm sorry if there's been
a misunderstanding, but, uh,
we will dictate the terms.
Our offer to the Old Gods...
is their lives...
and freedom...
to disappear
in any corner of
America they choose.
That's an offer?
Here is the alternative.
SHARD.
We're on the cusp
of a new age,
wherein humanity
will forget the Old Gods!
And... and you'll all die.
Now, you can
accept my offer
and fade from existence
in peace.
Or we will systematically
hunt and kill
every one of you
that gets in our way.
You're not gonna
say anything?
Votan!
What are you afraid of?
I'm not afraid anymore,
Votan, no, no, no.
I will fight until
the bitter end.
With or without you.
And I will call upon
the Old Gods to join me.
Peace talks are over
for today.
Mr. Wednesday.
About two years ago,
around Christmas,
Darren called me...
...screaming
about visitation,
I was keeping
the kids from him,
when were they coming?
He was drunk, and uh...
I got mad,
and I told him
that he would
never see the kids.
Sandy heard everything.
So when he took off,
I just thought he went to go
live with his dad, but...
As time went on, I...
I chose to believe it.
I had to.
Where you headed?
I've got a friend
at the Journal-Sentinel
in Milwaukee, and, uh,
she's been trying
to convince me for years
to work for her, so...
You know, I like Milwaukee.
There's a great bookstore...
on the East Side, on...
on Murray.
Maybe...
if you ever find
yourself there...
Yeah.
Count on it.
My car is yours.
Just... keep it purple.
Hey, fucker!